


The Five Marauders (James Potter Love Story)

by MirrorWild



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Do not repost on another site, Don't copy to another site, F/F, F/M, Fantasy, Flirting, Gay, Harry Potter - Freeform, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, LGBTQ Character, Lime, M/M, Magic, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Not too angsty, OC, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Pranks and Practical Jokes, Romance, Slow Burn, The Marauder's Map, Verbal Abuse, a little angsty, five marauders, its not a fluff but its not a smut, its sort of both tbh, look this is rather tame for a fanfic, there's abuse but it's not graphic, wolfstar, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian, Подписка на новые главы
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2020-06-23 09:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 124
Words: 272,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19697062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirrorWild/pseuds/MirrorWild
Summary: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, have joined forces with Iris Brooks and it couldn't have paired better. James falls head over heels for this girl and will stop at nothing to get her, the only problem is… She's just as headstrong as he is!(BTW this was first published on quotev by me, you can check that out here; https://www.quotev.com/story/8015844/The-Five-Marauders-James-Potter-love-story/1)I update every Saturday, Central Daylight Time (CDT).





	1. The Beginning

(Iris's POV)  
  
  
I was standing outside of the Hogwarts train, my luggage halfway inside the train halfway out. I shoved it and grunted. I leant against it panting. It would not move.

"Blasted-- trunk!" I yelled and kicked it. It stayed completely stationary. I sighed.

"Need some help?" I looked 'round. There stood two boys, one in a leather jacket and his hands in his pockets. He had black hair that draped over his face. He blew it out of the way like he'd done it a hundred times and winked at me. The other boy had black hair also, but it was sticking all over the place in amazing disarray. He ran his fingers through it making it even worse. He grinned and pushed up the glasses on his nose. The two looked like trouble.

"Please!" I said and they stepped into the train and lugged my trunk the rest of the way in. The second boy offered me his hand and he helped me up. "Thanks," I said I brushed my own hair out of my eyes. I saw them look at my eyes. My eyes were sort of a talking point, they were bright green. An unnatural green. My mother always said they looked beautiful with my long brown hair before she... well, that doesn't matter.

"No problem. Would you like us to carry it to your compartment?" The first one said smoothly.

"Um, well I don't have a compartment yet."

They grinned.

"Well, you can sit with us then!" The second one said. Instead of picking up my trunk he pulled out his wand. "Locomotor trunk." He said. My trunk rose into the air a few inches and he grinned mischievously. 

"Sit down!" He said holding out his hand once more. I didn't take it but I sat on the trunk and tucked my legs under me as if I did this all the time. He shrugged at the first boy, then he raised his wand and led my trunk to the back of the train.

"What's your name?" The first one asked.

"Iris Brooks. I'm going into the second year. Some things... came up last year so I couldn't go, but Dumbledore said I could come this year." My insides squirmed.

"Brilliant! The name's Sirius Black. The second year too, if you're wondering. We both are." he said pointing at the second boy.

"I'm James. James Potter. Pleased to meet you." He said and he held out his hand again as if to shake it.

"What is up with you and holding my hand? If you're flirting with me you might want to be warned, I'm not flirted with easily." I said an eyebrow raised. Sirius bumped shoulders with James and he grinned at him as James turned a light shade of pink.

"Might be," he said and looked at me as if I was a challenge he was trying to beat. "I'll bet I could." He winked.

"Doubt it. I could do it much better, than him." Sirius whispered just loud enough for James to hear.

"You want to go?" James said. He grabbed my hand this time and proceeded to kiss it multiple times. I covered my face with my one free hand.

"Good lord," I said exhausted. I knew these guys were trouble. Unfortunately, I was stuck with them for the moment.

Sirius put his arm around me and sat on the trunk next to me. He tickled my side. I let out a reluctant giggle and shoved his hand away and felt my face turn a deep shade of scarlet. I looked straight ahead as they continued to have flirting contests as I remained stoically in place.

All at once I saw a figure in the hall in front of us.

The boys were so involved in their contest that only I noticed the figure. I launched myself off the trunk, leant against it to make it touch the ground again and began inspecting my nails nonchalantly. The boys looked at me confused.

"Well, well, well. _Potter. Black._ Not a surprise to see you two using magic to impress a girl now is it? I'll have to report you." The figure stepped out into better light and I saw that he had sleek blond hair and an annoyingly superior smirk. He had a pale pointed face and glared at the boys. Behind him were two others, a girl with dark lids and another boy with disgusting oily hair.

"Malfoy. Black. _Snivellus._ Nice to see you here." James said stiffly. "Now if you don't mind we'd like to get to our compartment." Both sides as if they were having a face off. They all glared at each other. I saw James whisper something and Sirius put his hand in his pocket ready to draw something out. Malfoy evidently saw and drew his wand. The others did the same. James had his wand pointed right directly at the oily hair's face.

"Petrificus tota--!"

I waved my own wand silently and blocked his curse without saying a thing. Malfoy looked at his wand angrily.

" _Furnuncu--!"_ He yelled again and I blocked it nonverbally. He looked at me and I thought he was going to explode. "You! Stop it! Expelli--!" I blocked him again. "Why you little...!" He strode towards me his hands out like he was going to choke me.

"Shove off!" James said and Sirius and he shoved him out of the way. I was fully standing now my arms crossed over my chest. The boys grabbed my trunk and sped past them. I followed but not before I whispered to Malfoy

"Don't flourish your wand so much. It gives the advantage to the other person because they know what you're going to do." He looked at me mutinously. I smirked and shoved past him and caught up the James and Sirius. They both turned to throw more spells at them but I grabbed their hands and redirected them forward. They both looked at me weirdly.

"What?" I asked them unfolding my arms.

"What? You don't stop us if we want to curse someone."

"Well, guess what, _Potter_? I'm new so I don't know these things. Plus, I quite frankly don't care. In case you didn't notice, I just saved your arses out there so zip your mouths." 

They still looked at me.

"Speaking of which, that was bloody brilliant!" Sirius spoke. "How do you know nonverbal spells already? They don't teach that until the sixth year."

"Oh. Books. Just books. I read them so many times I just sort of knew how to do it." I shrugged. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal?! Did you see his face?! It was amazing! You are going to be a fantastic marauder."

"A what?" I asked.

"Tell you about it later," Sirius said. A few more steps and they opened the door to a compartment that had their luggage already in it. They helped me shove my trunk under the seat and took their spots on the opposite side of my seat, Sirius leaning against the wall and James fiddling with his wand, spinning it in a circle.

"So why were those guys so angry with you? Are they like your arch nemesis'?" I said pulling out a book and began to read, leaning against the side of the wall curling my feet.

"You could say that," Sirius said darkly.

"They're in Slytherin," James said as if that explained everything.

"So?" I said.

"Oh no," James said covering his eyes. "She's just like Lily."

"Or Remus, see? She's already got a book out." Sirius nodded at me.

"Who?" I asked but the compartment door slid open and in walked a sandy blond boy, his nose in a book. He was tall and spoke without looking up.

"I heard you two stirred up some trouble with the Slytherins already," he said.

"Nah, that was all her," James said grinning.

"Who?" The boy said looking up. I looked up at him smiled and went back to my book. He stared at me, then glared at the other two boys in warning. "Well, hello." He said. "What's your name?"

"Iris Brooks," I said.

"Wonderful. Is there any room in here?" He asked looking around. I noticed he had scars lacing his cheek, which I thought was odd but not unnatural. I shrugged it off.

"Yes, there is," Sirius said and he moved over and sat by me draping an arm around me and tickling me again. "I'll sit by beautiful here."

"Oh no, you won't," I said kicking him. "Remus seems much more tolerable than you two." Sirius rubbed his side and moved back to where he had been sitting before. Remus grinned and sat by me and opened his book too.

"Oh look at them, they're both sitting the same way," Sirius said in a stage whisper.

"Remus always gets the girls," James whispered back.

"She's got to be a Ravenclaw."

"Nah she's too standoffish to be a Ravenclaw."

"Aren't Ravenclaws standoff-ish?"

"Not like her, they aren't."

I looked at Remus from over the top of my book. He was grinning. I raised an eyebrow back, fighting not to laugh.

"She could be in Slytherin, she was all about making herself look better than those guys."

"NO. No. She is not going to be in Slytherin, we already talked about this. If we find a cute girl we tuck her under our wing and make sure she isn't in Slytherin.

"Alright, Hufflepuff then."

"What if," I said closing my book with a snap. "You shut up so I can _read._ " I opened my book again. "Also not Hufflepuff because I'm extremely lazy. But they are cool so don't hold it against them. _Hufflepuff._ I ask you..."

I looked over and saw them both smiling at me with identical mischievous grins.

"Gryffindor, definitely," Sirius said and James nodded. I shrunk down into my book again, trying hard to hide my smile.  
  
  
  
"Aaaand I win!" Sirius whooped.

"Oh, shut up," James said grumpily. "I would've won if Remus hadn't been giving me terrible advice,"

"Hey, I didn't say take it." Remus shrugged, grinning.

"That was intense," I shook my head. "You had him on the ropes for a while,"

They had been playing gobstones for the past half hour.

"I played the best, though, didn't I Love?" James asked me.

"No comment," I said. "And don't call me Love, Potter"

"Ah, you'll get used to me," He grinned. "Now, who wants to place bets on Iris' house?"

James bet on Gryffindor. Sirius bet on Slytherin just to spite James. Remus thought for a while and finally went with either Ravenclaw or Gryffindor.

"You can't bet on two!" James said indignantly.

"And why not? I'm at perfect liberty to bet on multiple houses," Remus said blatantly.

"But it gives you a fifty-fifty shot!"

"Should'a thought of that before you bet," Remus said slyly.

I shook my head.

"Don't we need to change into our robes? We must be getting close to Hogwarts by now," I asked.

"Yeah," Remus said checking his watch.

The girls' uniform consisted of a skirt matching the colour of your house, a grey sweater, a tie matching the colours of your house, black robes with inside cloth the colour of your house, and shoes of your choosing. I wore red converse.  
Of course, since I hadn't been sorted yet, I just wore plain grey and black.

"You're looking stunning in your uniform, Love. It'd look better in red, though..." James flirted.

"You might want to let all the hot air in your head escape for once, Potter, instead of leaving it in. It makes you look a bit like a blundering idiot sometimes," I snipped.

"Ouch, Love,"

"I'm not your love,"

"Whatever you say, Love,"

"Goodness gracious," I said shaking my head. He attempted to catch my hand but I pinched his arm.

"We're here," Remus announced, looking out the window. Hogwarts loomed in the darkness. Lights glistened in the windows and reflected off a black lake. The forest set the scene. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

The train slowly crept to a stop. Someone speaking was heard throughout the train;

"PLEASE LEAVE YOUR BELONGINGS ON THE TRAIN. THEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO YOUR DORMITORIES SHORTLY."

"Wonderful," I said shutting my book. "Shall we?" I asked.  
  
  
  
"We have a new student joining us this year." Professor McGonagall stood before the entire school beside a stool with a hat atop it. "She was unable to attend the year before. Please welcome Iris Brooks." There was a smattering of applause. My friends in the crowds cheered and whooped.

"C'mon Brooks! I need those ten galleons!" Sirius called.

"Nonsense! Make me proud, Brooks!" James exclaimed.

"Do yourself a favour, Potter, and shut up," I called back. Professor McGonagall looked at me reprovingly. "Sorry, Professor. It needed to be done," She almost smiled but then turned back to the laughing crowd.

"Quiet!" She called. "Quiet!" The room silenced. She gestured to the stool.

I sat. My fingers gripped the edge of the seat. My knuckles were white. I closed my eyes as the hat fell over my head. I let out a breath.

"Nervous, are you?" The sorting hat said to me.

"A little," I said in my mind. "More like I've been waiting for this for years. I never thought it would happen."

"Hm..." It paused and the seconds ticked by. It grumbled. I held my breath. "How do you feel about Slytherin?" it asked. I considered the question.

"Well... I'd be okay with it if you said I should go. I just... have a bad connection with Slytherin."

"Yes... I see that...." The sorting hat hmm-ed. "You'd also do very well in Gryffindor."

"I wouldn't mind going there," This was beginning to take a while. "A lot of my friends are in that house. At least, I think they're my friends," I said as an afterthought.

"But are you suited for it? That is the question..." The sorting hat went silent for a while. "To be honest, child. I have never been this stumped about a student. Of course, I could let you decide..." The sorting hat said to itself.

"I _would_ like Gryffindor," I said.

"Gryffindor...The thing is, child, you are so alike the original Salazar Slytherin it's almost disturbing. I see cunning and ambition and determination and resourcefulness. You are the embodiment of what Salazar Slytherin wanted in a student. However, I could say the same for Gryffindor. You're brave and honest-minded and daring and reckless... this is difficult..."

"I want Gryffindor," I said plainly.

"Alright. If that is what you truly wish..."

"It is,"

"Then it'll have to be GRYFFINDOR!" The sorting hat screamed. I heard large yells. Professor McGonagall pulled the hat off my head, but in the last second, the sorting hat said something. Something I'll never forget;

"Peculiar child..."


	2. A Warning

"YES!" James yelled as I walked over.

"WHOO HOO!" Peter and Sirius screamed.

I sat by Remus, who grinned at me.

"Took you long enough. I've never seen a sorting take so long,"

"You haven't?" I asked.

We were interrupted as Professor McGonagall called out the next name;

"Reid, Oliver!" She called. A scrawny blond haired boy walked up to the sorting hat. He was sorted into Ravenclaw.

"Harper, Isla!" Was a blond-haired, blue-eyed girl. She looked like she ate bullies for breakfast while still making it in time for tea. She was also sorted into Ravenclaw.

"Carr, Freya!" She was a boulder shaped girl. Brown hair, large, and tough looking. Slytherin. 

"Reynolds, Samuel!" Was our first Gryffindor. (Excepting me) A blond boy with an arrogant look.

"Atkinson, Scarlett!" Was also Gryffindor. Brown hair, silver eyes, and a mischievous grin.

"Walsh, Charlotte!" Was the first Hufflepuff.

"Finlay, Hunter" Was placed in Slytherin.

"I hope the new Gryffindors are going to be able to keep up," Sirius said, winking at the ravishing Scarlett Atkinson. She smirked and winked back.

"They'll do fine. Why else would they have been sorted here?" James said.

There was a pause in the conversation as professor McGonagall called "Moore, Sebastian!"

"How _does_ the sorting hat sort?" I asked. Remus answered.

"It analyzes your personality and other traits and places them in the house that suits them best,"

"But what if they could go in any of the four houses and the hat can't decide?" I asked.

"I suppose it could let you choose. I hear they do that in the American wizarding school. Ilvermorny, I think." Remus said.

"Oh," I quieted. Professor McGonagall called the final student, "Murray, Amber!" who was sorted into Hufflepuff.

"Let the feast begin!" Professor Dumbledore called. Trays, plates, and dishes of food magically appeared on the table. Golden plates filled with pork, beef, soup, rolls, turkey, gravy, potatoes, ham, cheese, sauces, string beans, grapes, cornbread, sour cream, chives, bread, butter, plus more appeared.

I gaped, and my awe continued as I began to devour the food in front of me. It was the best thing I had ever tasted. I saw James smirking at me from across the table and I rolled my eyes.

"So, Iris?" Remus asked.

"Yeah?" I asked buttering a roll.

"What's your story? Where were you transferred from?" The question sent a small shock through me. It was the question I had dreaded. Sirius and James were listening too.

"Oh. Well," I stuttered. "I was homeschooled before. My mother thought I was a little, um. _Behind_ in my magic skills so, she taught me personally for a year and now I'm here." A knot formed in my stomach with the lie. I hated lying, but I didn't want to tell them... I _couldn't_ tell them.

Thankfully, they all nodded and went back to eating. I tried to do the same, but the knot kept me from eating. After the food had disappeared from the table, Dumbledore stood.

"Welcome all, to Hogwarts! I hope this year will be enjoyable for _everyone._ A reminder for everyone, quidditch tryout scheduling will be posted on the notice boards for each house." He continued talking but James leaned across the table to me.

"Are you going to try out? I am. Chaser. Should be fun don't you think?" He winked.

"I suppose. Quidditch _does_ sound really interesting."

"Interesting?" Sirius said leaning across the table too. "It's bloody amazing! I can't wait." Dumbledore's speech ended and the sound of benches screeching across stone could be heard as kids got up laughing and talking to their dorms.

I stood and followed the rest of the Gryffindors to the common room. Remus walked beside me.

"Are you trying out?" I asked, elbowing him.

"Dunno. Maybe." He said, rubbing his arm.

"You should. At least give it a chance." I said coaxingly. We reached the common room and the Prefect gave the password admitting us through.

"Girls through there and boys through there." Said the prefect, pointing. I walked up the stairs and found a door with a small plaque on in that said; Second Year Girls

I entered.

"Oh! Hello." Said a girl with ginger hair. Two other girls sat on beds. They stared at me.

"Hi," I said, unsure.

"You must be Iris," The ginger said. "I'm Lily Evans, and this is Mary Mcdonald and Marlene Mckinnon"

"Sup," Marlene said.

"Hey," said Mary.

Marlene was blonde and had golden brown eyes that shone with vivacity. She leaned against the bedpost with an easy elegance that was intimidating, yet attractive.

Mary had dark chocolate brown hair and sparkling blue eyes that made her all the more approachable. Freckles dotted her cheeks and nose and she gave off a radiance that simply screamed _I love life and everything in it!_

Lily's hair was a searing shade of red and she had the most beautiful silver-green eyes. She held herself in a way that implied she always tried to do the right thing and had a point to follow the rules.

"You can have that bed there if you want," Lily said, pointing. My trunk was already there, along with everything else I had brought. My school robes were laid out across a chair. Red skirt, white collared shirt, grey sweater with red lines on the collar and hem, red and gold tie, black stockings, black flats, and robes with the insides red, and a Gryffindor badge on the front. There was also a scarf, a hat, and gloves for the colder months. I thanked her and opened my trunk, organizing everything. Behind me, the girls struck up a conversation. I tuned it out for a moment but when I heard the name 'James Potter' I turned my head.

"He's infuriating! I swear, if he pulls another trick like the one last year I'll report him to Dumbledore," Lily steamed.

"Why? What'd he do last year?" I asked, curiously.

"He overflowed all of the girls' toilets in the castle. No one could _prove_ it was him and the rest of them, but everyone knew," Mary explained.

"Too bad. Sirius is _very_ good-looking," Marlene winked at me. The other two groaned.

"I take it this is a frequented conversation?" I smiled.

"You have no idea," Lily said, rolling her eyes. "At least James hasn't tried to ask me out yet. Honestly, you'd hope he got the point of my refusal."

"Last year, James wouldn't stop asking her every chance he got," Mary informed me.

"Ah, well hopefully you'll get a break. He's seemed to single me out. Him and Sirius both," I shook my head, grinning.

"Merlin no! You have to avoid them at all costs. They stir up trouble any chance they get," She frowned.

"They do cause a lot of trouble," Marlene agreed, inspecting her nails.

"It'd be best to just avoid them," Mary said, nodding.

"Aw, Remus seems nice though," I said, smiling.

"Oh, he's fine. The only problem is that he hangs out with _those_ two. Him and Pettigrew both," Lily said, waving her hand.

"You should probably ignore Peter as well, he's a bore," Marlene droned.

"Uh! Rude," Mary shoved Marlene's elbow. "He's really nice,"

"Sure, but he's not very bright," Marlene pointed out. Mary had no response to this but pursed her lips.

"In any case, you should avoid them at all costs. They're just a bunch of troublemakers. Don't get yourself tangled up with _their_ group, you're better off ignoring them,"


	3. Three Years Later

"Oi!" Potter called, running up beside Lily and I. Sirius, Remus, and Peter soon joined him. "Go on a date with me, Brooks?" He asked, slightly out of breath.

"No," I replied coolly, placing a book in my bag and Lily rolled her eyes at the group. "Honestly, my answer hasn't changed in four years, why would it change now?"

"Because you've suddenly realized you've been in love with me all this time and that I'm devilishly handsome," He winked, running his fingers through his pitch hair once again.

"I'd rather go out with Sirius," I replied, disgustedly, continuing my brisk walk.

"Hey!" Sirius cried, indignantly.

"Oof, love. Low blow," Potter said, hand on his chest. Remus was grinning at me from behind Potter, book dangling in his hand. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Shove off, Potter. And don't call me love," I said, snippily.

"Ah, I know you love it," Potter said, putting his arm around my shoulder.

"You know I _don't_ ," I plucked his arm off from my shoulders and stopped. "Go pick up a different girl. I'm sure any of them in this school would go out with you," I said, gesturing at the loads of girls, listening in to our conversation from around the hallway with hopeful eyes.

"You're right of course," Potter said, grinning. I sighed, disparagingly, knowing what was coming next. "But you're _different,"_ He insisted.

"I assure you, I'm not," I interrupted him. "And I'm not going to change my mind. Don't you have some first years to torment, anyway?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"We're taking a rest from pranking for a bit," Sirius intervened, shaking his hair out of his face, smirking.

"Because of that detention, you got from McGonagall, right?" I replied, disapprovingly.

"Maybe," Potter said. He put his hand in his pocket and adjusted his glasses, grinning.

"Well, that's good then," I said, taking Lily's arm. "Now if you don't mind us, we're headed to Transfiguration." I turned, my robes swishing behind my, Lily trailing behind. I sighed. "He's never going to leave me alone, now is he?"

"Better you than me," was all that Lily said. I groaned, and we entered the Transfiguration classroom. We sat down together and a few minutes later, the band of four joined us. Remus sat with Peter in front of us, and James and Sirius sat behind. I sighed and leaned against my chair. McGonagall walked in and began talking about today's lesson.

James leaned forward and whispered.

"Please, Love? I promise I'll buy you flowers," I could almost hear him smiling. Sirius snorted.

"No," I hissed. "Quiet, I'm trying to listen," I heard Sirius laugh quietly and Potter whisper 'Shut up, Sirius'.

McGonagall continued talking about turning animals into objects and even worse, O.W.L.s but I failed to listen. I knew how to do all this anyway. When she passed out the mice we were to be turning into teacups, I felt Lily squirm beside me.

"What is it?" I asked as she watched McGonagall come closer. As she put the mice on our table she whispered.

"I don't like mice," She squeaked as the mouse scuttled over her desk. I laughed.

"Oh, stop it. They aren't all that bad," I picked mine up by the tail as it scrabbled at my fingers. "See? Harmless," I had almost convinced her when the little rodent managed to reach up and bite my finger. A small dot of blood formed and Lily pushed her chair away from the desk. I set the rodent down and sucked my finger. "Ah, it didn't hurt Lils, see?" I showed her the little prick mark. She shook her head animatedly. I sighed. "Well, transfigure it and it won't hurt you,"

I picked up my wand and waved it. The mouse turned white like porcelain, stretched, and morphed into a teacup with pink little flowers around the edges. Lily picked up her wand, her fingers shaking a bit, but managed to transfigure hers quickly. I elbowed her and she sighed.

"Sorry, I just really don't like mice,"

"Well, it's no surprise our Brooks isn't afraid of them now is it?" Potter said, behind us.

"I've seen scarier things," I agreed.

"Like what?" Sirius asked, leaning back in his chair in a way that looked very precarious to the point that it was almost dangerous.

"You without a shirt on," I smirked. Sirius grumbled.

"Sure, pile all the insults on me why not?" He struck his tongue out at me in a most childlike way. I copied him and laughed. The bell rang and Lily and I placed our cups carefully in the box McGonagall had at the front of the class.

"I've gotta go to the library," Lily told me.

"Alright, see you later," I said and she sped off in the direction of books. I meanwhile, headed to the Great Hall for lunch. I heard feet behind me and soon the rest of the Marauders joined me. Technically, I was a part of their little group all because I hung out with Remus quite a bit and had helped them accomplish a few pranks including the Legendary Pasta Accident. It's a long story. As their conversation began, I walked beside Remus and we began chattering about Charms next hour.

We entered the Great Hall and Potter made a huge show of sitting right in front of me. I just raised an eyebrow and put a baked potato on my plate. I began eating and ignored the stares Potter was giving me.

"Did you finish your Potions essay, Rem?" I asked, buttering a roll and shoving the thing in my mouth.

"Almost, I just have to put in my thesis," He said. "You can borrow my notes if you want." I thanked him. He knew how bad I was at taking notes. I was great at making potions, but writing about them was not my strong suit.

"Oo can I borrow those too, Remus? I can never pay attention in that class, Snivillus is always way too distracting and way too susceptible to pranks," Sirius grinned.

"You could if you tried," Remus replied and Sirius pouted.

"You can borrow mine if you want, Sirius," Peter said.

"No it's fine, I can't read your handwriting," Sirius said, offhand.

"It's not like he's going to do it anyway," Potter laughed, elbowing him. Sirius rubbed his side and laughed too. Potter looked up at me again. "Hey Brooks, I forgot to tell you, Quidditch practice has been moved to Friday." I nodded and went back to eating. Potter was the Quidditch captain, and as much as I hated to admit it, he was good at his job. I was a chaser for the team. Sirius and James were the other two.

Hopefully, this year we would win. We had lost last year due to a few injuries and Potter was still sore about it.

All of a sudden, a great yell erupted from over at the Slytherin table. I looked over and saw Snape standing in outrage, his hair, once black and oily, now green and spiky. Sirius and Potter were laughing in large mirth.

"Your doing, I suppose?" I raised an eyebrow at the two. They nodded, unable to speak from all their laughing. I sighed. "Remus, do you want to go to the library with me?" I stood. "We can work on that potions essay if you want." He nodded and we headed out just before McGonagall swooped in on the two troublemakers who still could not contain their laughter. Her voice rang out just as we were leaving.

"Detention! Both of you!" Remus and I snickered quietly and we made our way through the winding corridors to the library. Once there, I pulled out my textbook and parchment while he got out his notes and his almost finished essay. We studied quietly together until I notice his eyes.

"Remus..." I said slowly.

"Hm?" He asked, reading through his thesis paragraph.

"Are you feeling okay? You look sick or something," I said. His eyes were darkened and his complexion was paler than usual. He looked very tired. He avoided my gaze.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a cold I had this week, nothing to worry about," He smiled sheepishly and went back to his work. I studied him.

"I'm going to look for a book, be back in a second," I said. He nodded and I scurried through the bookshelves looking for a certain book I had been looking through for a while. It contained a chart of moon patterns. I quickly flipped to the page for this month's and looked for the date. Two days until a full moon. I sighed and put the book back.

I had noticed for some time that there seemed to be a pattern with Remus's sicknesses and leavings. No one could be sick that much or could have a family with sickness and deaths every month. I swear his aunt Beth has died twice now. I knew of course what that might mean, but if Remus didn't want it known, I wouldn't bring it up. It was his business, I just had to make sure I was always there for him.

I walked back to the desk we were working at and I glanced over Remus' notes. Perfect and precise, just like always. I started my essay and we worked for half an hour before the bell rang. We gathered our things and headed for Charms. It was my favourite class, after Defense Against the Dark Arts of course.

We sat down together and began discussing the latest news in the paper. There were rumours of Ministry officials joining you-know-who's so-called Death Eaters. Panic had sprung everywhere and people were living in even more fear. I, however, was not scared. I had had to deal with tons of crap in my life, and this was not anything particularly difficult to manage. At least not yet.

The classroom slowly began filling up until finally, seconds before the bell rang, Potter and Sirius entered the room rather dramatically and sat down behind us. A few minutes into the lesson and paper dragon hit my shoulder from behind. I unfolded it, smoothed it out on the desk, and read;

_You, me, the Three_ _Broomsticks_ _. Tomorrow. You know you want to. ;)_

_Yes Definitely yes_

I grumbled, circled the 'no' in 'know' and sent it back. I heard him curse and Sirius snicked. I sighed. This was going to be a long lesson.


	4. Plans and Pranks

(James POV)

I stared at her from across the room. She didn't understand how beautiful she was. Her green eyes that sparkled with gold, her auburn hair that made me want to run my fingers through it, her laugh, her smile, her fiery personality, everything about her made me want to scream and sing at the same time. She noticed my stare from the corner and gave me a lopsided smile and turned back to Remus. My heart flew. If only she knew none of it was a joke, that I genuinely had feelings for her. But she didn't. And that was my fault. But I couldn't _not_ flirt with her.

Sirius elbowed me.

"Take a look at Snivillus there," He nodded to the other end of the room where he glared at us. I smirked.

"What? He still pissed about the green hair thing?" I chortled.

"Most likely," Sirius said. "I've got an idea,"

"Great. I was thinking it was rather boring this week. Let's spice things up," I said, taking a last glance at Iris from across the Great Hall and standing. Sirius and I quickly headed to our sanctuary aka our dormitory. A sound of tapping footsteps followed us. Remus sighed as he slid into step beside us.

"What are you two planning now?" He asked tiredly. His eyes seemed a little darker than usual. I grinned at him, put a hand on his shoulder and splayed out my other hand towards the sky.

"Greatness," I announced dramatically.

"Whoo!" Sirius bounced beside me. Remus groaned.

"Who is it this time?"

"No one in particular," I rallied my hands around in great grandeur.

"Great. So something schoolwide I'm guessing?" We grinned in reply. He sighed again. "You might need some help for something like that. The first big prank of the year. Needs to be big," Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Ooohoo hoo, Remus, I like this side of you," Sirius said, slapping a hand on his back. "Who did you have in mind?"

"The Prewetts?" I bounced. "Or maybe that Scarlett Atkinson, hm Sirius?" Sirius' eyes glinted with the mention of the alluring Gryffindor.

"Mm yes, perfect," Sirius drew out, running his tongue along the edge of his teeth. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Preferably _not_ someone Sirius will end up getting into bed with," Sirius pouted. "I was thinking more along James' end of the spectrum," I tilted my head. Sirius broke out into laughter, leaning on the corridor wall for support.

"Wait, wait, wait. Who?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Iris, of course. She helped out with the Great Spaghetti Accident, didn't she?"

"And the Egg-Salad-in-water-balloons prank!" Sirius managed to say. My heart soared somewhere between earth and heaven and my fingers began to tingle.

"Perfect!" I yelled. Sirius was still laughing and Remus was looking at me, amusedly. "Perfect." I breathed.

(Iris's POV)

"You want me to do what?" I hissed to Remus. We were in Herbology working on chopping gurdyroots for Professor Sprout. We were wearing goggles and gloves because, when chopped, gurdyroots squirted out a lot of juice and it stained. I had already managed to get some on my robes. Remus did not look me in the eye but continued to chop the vegetable.

"They're planning a prank and want you to be a part of it. You helped us with the Great Spaghetti Accident," I looked over at Sirius and Potter. They were giggling together, undoubtedly going to attempt some way to disrupt the class. I looked back at the green gurdyroot before me, chopping it in half to reveal a dark purplish beet red colour.

"And why should I do that?" I asked, moving the chunks of red into the bowl in front of us.

"Because I asked you to. You still owe me from that favour from two nights ago," I groaned. I had forgotten about that. Top secret, that favour was.

"Fine," I moaned. Suddenly a choking noise came from across the rows where Sirius and Potter were at. We looked over and saw Sirius spitting and sticking out his tongue. It was a dark purplish beet red colour. Potter was cracking up beside him.

"It tastes disgusting!" Sirius yelled as Professor Sprout came over to them.

"Well, yes. You aren't supposed to eat it, it's for potions," She told them.

"For good reason," Potter chortled, holding his sides.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I grumbled. Remus just laughed under his breath. I took another gurdyroot and chopped it directly in half with strange fury. Liquid squirted all over my goggles.

I swore for not the first time that day.

"You'll work with us?" Potter said, gleefully. "Really?" I sighed and blinked my eyes for a fraction of a second longer than normal.

"Yes," I said. Potter continued jumping around in glee. "Please tell me he won't continue like this," I pointed a thumb toward him, addressing Remus. He raised an eyebrow.

"Hopefully not,"

"Oi! James! Focus," Sirius admonished.

"Right," He looked at me. "Just really excited,"

"You should be. If we pull this off, it'll be even more memorable than the Great Spaghetti Accident," I smiled. A strand of hair fell into my face. Potter reached out his hand to brush it away but I got there quicker, tucking it behind my ear. Potter quickly reached his hand back to his head and brushed his fingers through his hair, looking away. He glanced back. I raised an eyebrow at him and shook my head in question. I brushed through my own hair, erasing my part and tied it into a high ponytail and smiled coolly at him. Sirius snickered quietly, but Potter just smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"Here's the idea," I started. An hour later, we had a plan. A good plan. A fantastic plan. By the end, I was stoked and could not keep away a smile. Potter turned to me, grinning, and I grinned back.

The next morning at breakfast, I walked into the Great Hall, feeling high in spirits. I walked over to the rest of the Marauders and sat down, right in front of Potter. He smirked at me with knowing eyes. I smiled and bit my lip, looking at the food. I quickly grabbed a few things and ate quickly.

"You reckon this is most of the school?" I whispered to Potter. He nodded, inconspicuously. All five of us pulled out our wands. This particular spell was large. One, it was difficult, two, we were doing it over the entire school, including the grounds. Remus had suggested us all do the spell to which we had all readily agreed to. We all stood at the same time and stood with our wands held straight for the sky.

People looked our way, but for the most part, people didn't realize what was going on.

"Flotte," We recited. Five streams of silvery-blue shot out of our wands and wove itself through the school. It started slowly, but quickly things began to rise slowly into the air. Girls' hair started to stand on end, ends of robes began to curl up, forks began to rise into the air. Gradually, plates began to rise, and then people. I began to float. I laughed and pushed against the ground, soaring into the air. People were shrieking, laughing, and panicking. I grinned and did a backflip in the air. I heard cheers below me and the rest of the Marauders joined me in the air. Sirius' hair was curling all around his face and Potter's was even more unruly than normal. I had tied mine into a ponytail when I got up that morning so I didn't have to worry about that.

"This is amazing," I gasped, looking down at my feet. I was several yards above the ground. People were beginning to get the idea of things and were pushing off from different objects floating in the air. Even the tables had begun to float. I looked over at the teacher's table and gleefully saw teachers floating, trying to get rid of our spell to no avail. It would last twenty-four hours before it wore off. Dumbledore was giggling as he floated through the air, still sitting in his chair. His beard was getting tangled together but he obviously didn't mind. He floated upside-down beside McGonagall who was attempting to get rid of the spell. I grabbed our group.

"Let's go see if it worked in the hallways," I said gleefully. We grinned and laughed and soared as we made our way to the double doors and out into the hallway. It was much easier to manoeuvre here because the walls were closer together so you had more solidity to push off from. Students were floating here too, pushing off from the walls and corners, making their way through the halls. Sirius high-fived me and we all chatted as we made our way around the castle.

"Can't believe it worked!" Peter squeaked.

"What do you mean? Of course, it worked, Peter, we're the four Marauders!" Potter said joyfully as he did a corkscrew through the air.

"Five Marauders," I pointed out.

"Five Marauders," Potter corrected. "We're the best there is,"

"For this, you are," Fabian said, soaring toward us accompanied by his brother Gideon.

"This is amazing. Legendary," Gideon said. "I can't believe you pulled this off!" They high-fived us and moved past us.

"Thanks, Prewetts!" Potter called behind us. They gave us a thumbs up and moved on. I did another backflip and grinned.

"Wonder what sleeping will be like," I laughed. Remus shook his head.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," He said. I grinned at him and pushed off the ceiling, doing a corkscrew like Potter. The hallway spun around me and I laughed, splaying out my arms.

"Watch this," I said. I pulled out my wand. "Impetus," I recited. A stream of air blasted out of the tip and I flew through the air like a superhero from a comic book. "Whoo!" I yelled.

"Wait up!" Sirius called behind me. I just laughed in return. Soon, all five of us were flying through the air, going faster and faster, racing through the corridors, avoiding floating armour and children. We were all enjoying it. This prank was over the top. Bigger than anything that had ever done before. Legendary indeed.


	5. Detention with Potter

Of course, we all got detention. Which was annoying, but I can't say it wasn't amusing to see Professor McGonagall floating toward us, upside down to inform us of the consequences of our misdeeds. And of course, with my luck, I got stuck in detention with Potter. McGonagall said it was because she couldn't handle Potter with any of the other boys, but I caught the twinkle in her eye.

We were to organize the supplies from the old potions cabinet for Professor Slughorn because they hadn't been gone through in years it seemed. We were all in different rooms, joined by a door. Potter and I in one, Sirius in another, and Remus and Peter in the other. Potter could not seem to keep his eyes off me. I exhaled for the thousandth time as he was in my way yet again, as I attempted to reach the cupboard behind him.

"Please move, Potter. The faster we get this done, the faster we can leave," I bumped him out of the way and reached up to pull more jars from the cupboard.

"What if I don't want to leave?" Potter winked at me.

"Then you're a nuisance," I stood on my tiptoes, stretching my fingers for the last jar. It seemed to scoot farther away. I huffed in annoyance, as my fingers scrabbled at its glass surface. I couldn't quite reach it. Potter came up behind me.

"Need help?" He smiled down at me. I cursed my shortness.

"Not from you," I said curtly and tried jumping for it. He laughed and reached around me, pulling the jar out of the cupboard and set it on the counter. He had come very close. My heart was doing something very funny as he leaned down and brushed a hair out of my eyes. Our faces became very close. I felt my cheeks flush as I realized our noses were almost touching from the close proximity. I turned away. "Thank you," I said coolly. "Now go back to your corner. We need to finish this soon," His face fell for a split second, but a moment later he smiled.

"As you wish," He bowed, mocking my snipped tone and we both got back to work. My heart was still doing that funny thing, where it sped up in an irregular state. My face still felt warm. I glared down at my parchment in annoyance.

2 jars of Gillywig tails

13 dusted Beraboar tusks

27 gleaned peripetal leaves

11 mammoleeth teeth

4 jars of jarnowath venom

16 bags of granile beetles

I picked up my quill and added;

1 jar barkwaithe tears

"You should meet my parents before we get married," I startled at his words.

"What?" I asked dubiously.

"My parents. You know, seems best you should know them before then," I looked at him incredulously, not sure if I was hearing him correctly.

"And who says we're getting married?" I shook my head, opening a new cupboard with new contented. This one seemed to be filled with equipment.

"Oh, it just seemed inevitable, you know?" I could almost hear him smirking behind me. I whirled around.

"Really?" He just smiled at me. "Well, you'll be disappointed to know, that is never going to happen," I shook my head and returned to my work.

1 pewter cauldron

5 sets of—

"Aww, you'll warm up to me, Love. My parents are real nice. Mum's always sweet and..." I quickly tuned him out as I concentrated on my task.

5 sets of mortar and pestles (Granite)

7 brass scales

2 silver knives

1 box assorted utensils

11 iron cauldron

2 sets of mortar and pestles (Ceramic)

23 wood stirring spoons

37 vials (Glass)

14 vials (Diamond)

"—what are your parents like?" I startled but didn't answer. "Love? How's your family?" Potter asked. My hand started to shake. I dropped the quill and clenched it. "Iris?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I said, quietly.

"Sorry, I—"

"I don't want to talk about it!" I yelled, whirling around, my eyes fire. Potter held his hands up in surrender, startled by my outburst. I turned back around slowly, the heat I had felt seeping out. I tried picking up the quill again, but my hand was shaking too much. A tear leaked from the corner of my eye and fell on my parchment. I wiped it away, calmly. I stood up straight and finished my work, wordlessly.

(Sirius POV)

"I don't want to talk about it!" Her voice resounded even in the room I was working in. I was near the door and could see her scream at James. I paused my work. Her family. I thought of mine and my fist immediately clenched but softened when I saw Regulus in my mind. I sighed and peeked around the doorframe. I saw Iris slump a bit. I saw her wipe the tear away. I saw her stand straight again and not speak until finished with her work. I saw James' bewildered face as he stole glances at her, hoping for context. He received none.

Family.

Family is a complicated thing I knew. Hell, of course, I knew that. I imagined my mother's face as she screamed at me. How I hated her. I bit the inside of my cheek, a useless habit as I grew further frustrated as I saw my father sneering at me, the disgrace to the family. Sorted into Gryffindor, instead of their precious Slytherin house. Whatever. I didn't care.

I saw Regulus, sitting up straight and proud as the sorting hat screamed 'Slytherin!'. I remembered the sinking in my stomach as I realized I really was the disgrace of the family for the first time. The thought didn't hurt me as much as it had then. I was proud to be the disgrace, now.

I looked back around the doorway. James caught my eye. I shrugged at him. He shrugged back and turned away. I returned to my own work, my thoughts consumed by images I wished not to see.

(Iris POV)

I worked quickly. I finished quickly. I left quickly. I did not want to see Potter's look of confusion as I passed him even though I knew it was there. I rushed through the halls, hair splaying out behind me. My fist still clenched.

"Coming from detention, are we?" A voice drawled from the shadows.

"You're actually right for once, Malfoy," I replied, stopping. Lucius Malfoy stood there, along with his little group. Severus, Narcissa, and... well... this was new. Regulus Black. "Regulus..." I said slowly. "What are you doing hanging around with this lot?" I gestured at the group. Lucius glared but I ignored him. He looked down, unanswering.

"What does it matter to you, Brooks?" Lucius seethed. "He's a Slytherin after all. Not a Gryffindor," He smiled sinisterly as I turned my attention back to him. "Of course, you wouldn't know anything about that, now would you? A Gryffindor... pity... you could have followed your parents' footsteps," His lips curled as my fist clenched again.

"What do _you_ know of my family?" I sneered, turning away.

"Enough..." Lucius muttered. I stopped. Something about his tone, something about how he said that. I turned and put my fist to good use. I punched him in the face. I smiled as a satisfying 'crack!' resounded through the hallway. He screamed in fury as blood erupted from his nose. He attempted to cover his face with his hands but I had seen the damage.

"Shove off," I muttered. I turned away and got a few steps away when I heard Lucius curse and fumble with something. I pulled out my wand and pointed it back at him. He already had his out. My eyes turned stony and unforgiving. "Please. Not now," I frowned. He paid no heed.

"Incarcerous!" He yelled. I blocked him nonverbally. His rage turned scarlet and heated. "Stupefy!" I blocked him again. He became harried and threw his spells faster without aim. "Levicorpus! Confringo! Flipendo!"

"Expulso!" Narcissa cried from the side. I was taken off guard and the explosion threw me to the wall. My head cracked against stone and I fell to the floor. My sight blurred. I tried to stand but was blasted with another curse. I was swimming in confusion. A new voice joined the rest. It was familiar. I tried to focus, but my brain wouldn't listen.

A few confusing moments later and a hand rested on my shoulder. I looked up.

"Are you okay?" Potter asked. I grumbled.

"Yes. I had it under control," I said, ungratefully. I stood and refused to sway. Potter stood too.

"No you didn't," Potter said, eyebrows furrowed. "They were cursing you,"

"Well, did you see Malfoy's nose? I did that," I retorted.

"Did you really? Great job!" Potter said, enthusiastically. I ignored him and tried to move away through the hallway. He grabbed my wrist. "Hey, wait. Where are you going?"

"To the Common Room, obviously," I rolled my eyes. I made to move away, but he grabbed me again.

"Not without a visit to the infirmary you aren't," I sighed, annoyed.

"I'm fine, I assure you,"

"You're bleeding," Potter said, touching the back of my head where I had hit the wall. His fingers came away red and wet. I shook my head.

"Whatever. I'll just fix myself up in my dorm. I know the spell," I insisted. He pursed his lips but didn't protest when I began through the halls again, heading for the Gryffindor commons. He paced beside me.

"I'm sorry for whatever I said. In there," He nodded his head back. "I didn't realize... whatever I didn't realize," I looked down.

"You're fine. I just don't like talking about them," He nodded and we continued in silence. I had to keep a brisk pace to keep up with him, he was so much taller than me. My head pounded where my injury was but I ignored it. We soon reached the portrait hole. The Fat Lady looked us over.

"Password?" I opened my mouth to answer but found I couldn't remember it.

"Famulus," Potter said, clearly. The painting swung open. I strode through before Potter and hurried up to the dorm I shared with the other fifth year girls and went straight to the bathroom. I looked tired. There were dark circles under my eyes and my hair was noticeably matted.

"Episky," I tapped my wand on my head and the pounding went away. I felt the back of my head. The blood was dry. I stripped, turned on the shower, and stepped in, letting the steam envelop me and returned to my thoughts.


	6. You're a What?

Remus was 'sick' again. He was in the infirmary and Madame Pomfrey said he needed rest. Bullcrap. I was sick of his not telling me. Tonight was a full moon and I was going to get him to tell me, whether he wanted to or not.

I strode through the hall looking as confident as possible. People don't question you if you look confident. I saw kids sliding me looks but I ignored them. It was late and curfew was in half an hour so it was strange to see someone such as I walking away from the commons. I reached the infirmary and strode in just as confident as before.

"What are you doing here, Miss Brooks?" Madame Pomfrey asked, narrowing her eyes. "It's late,"

"I'm just here to see Remus, he needed the notes from Astronomy today so I brought them," I said, showing her a few pieces of parchment. I smiled. Madame Pomfrey didn't.

"He's unwell, I can take these to him. Go back to your common room," She made to grab them. I shifted them out of her reach.

"Please? I just want to speak with him for a moment," She pursed her lips.

"Fine. But just a moment," She said sharply. I nodded and thanked her. She walked into her office to give us a little privacy and I walked over to the bed that was covered with a dividing sheet and stepped in. A sickly looking Remus blinked up at me with surprise. He looked twenty times worse than he had the day before if that was even possible. The shadows around his eyes were so dark they looked bruised. He looked thinner than normal, as though he hadn't eaten all day, and his eyes seemed faded from his normal watery green to a despairing grey.

"What are you doing here?" He croaked.

"I'm paying my best friend a visit while he's sick," I said, concerned. He shook his head adamantly.

"I'm fine, I swear. You need to go back to the Gryffindor commons, it's almost curfew," He coughed.

"It's fine, Remus. I also came by to give you these. You missed some interesting stuff today in Astronomy," I looked directly at him. "For example, did you know it's the full moon tonight? What a coincidence, hm?" I carefully gauged his look of small terror.

He coughed.

"Oh really? That's... interesting," He smiled a broken smile. "If that's it, you can go—"

"You know what else is interesting?" I said speaking over him. "You always seem to disappear every month. Sort of crazy, I mean your family has regular occurring catastrophy!" He seemed to turn paler. "I swear your grandmum's died three times now, it's a bit odd, isn't it? Is your family under a curse or something?" He looked down at his hand, which had started shaking.

"You... could say that..." He muttered. His eyes seemed to be looking everywhere but at me.

"You can tell me anything, you know. I'm always here for you," I whispered to him, taking his shaking hand in mine. He gulped and looked up at me. His cheeks laced with scars wet with a tear.

"I—I'm..." He breathed.

"Please," I whispered even softer than before. He looked up at me with those terrified and exhausted eyes.

"I'm a monster. I'm a _monster_!" He said, his whole body shaking now. A tear rolled down my own cheek.

"You're not a monster, Remus. You're not," I said forcefully.

"Yes, I am! I am! I'm a _werewolf,"_ He spat, as though the words were poisonous. His tears spilt over, wetting his shirt. "I am," He whispered.

A noise startled us both and we looked toward it. There, pulling away the curtain stood James, Sirius, and Peter, looking at both of us in shock. Sirius said it first.

"You're a what?" His voice quavered. Remus shook harder his eyes dilating in panic. I quickly turned to him and squeezed his hand, harder.

"Remus. Remus, look at me. Look at me, please," His eyes rested on mine in panic as I squeezed both of his hands, turning my knuckles white. "You are not a monster Remus. You are _not._ I love you and I could never stop thinking of you as a friend. And I _Never. Will."_ I lifted a finger and wiped one of the many tears off his face. "You are my Best. Friend. This—this little...problem..." I said, waving my hand about. "Doesn't change any of that. Okay?"

"It's not that little," He croaked.

"Yes it is, you think this changes my opinion of you? You think this changes all those times we spent in the library laughing and working together? You think this changes our _friendship?_ No. Of course, it doesn't! This doesn't define who you are," He hiccuped. "Let. me. help. you,"

"Rem, did you really think we wouldn't want to be your friends if we knew?" James said, slightly hurt. "We'll always be here for you. No matter what," Remus looked shocked.

"Yeah, I mean think of all the pranks we could've done if we had!" Sirius said. I shot him a look. "Sorry, I meant that this doesn't change the old Remus. I just wish you could've told us sooner. I sorta feel bad that I didn't understand," Sirius said, eyebrows furrowed. Remus hiccupped again.

Everyone looked at Peter.

"I'm still your friend Remus. And I always will be," He said, his voice louder than his normal squeak. We all looked back at Remus.

"But...I'm still a monster," He said, a tear dripping off his nose.

"No, you're not. You just have a furry little problem, that's all," James said, smiling.

"It's not that little," Remus said, weakly.

"How many times do we have to explain this to you?" I said impatiently. "It's small compared to all the other knowledge we have about you. Your smile, your hardworking personality, your genius. All the memories of a friend. This little thing doesn't even make a dent in all that. We still love you. We're all still your friends. Stop making it seem like we're going to turn away from something amazing because of a pebble in our shoe. Our friendship is stronger than that," Everyone nodded, and Remus hiccupped again.

"I... I'm sorry I never told you," He whispered. "I was just so _scared,_ that you would all—all... walk away," He smiled. "I'm glad that's not the case. _Please_ don't tell anyone else though,"

"We would never _dream_ of it," I said, and I smiled at him.


	7. Other Problems

It tore my heart to leave Remus laying there in the infirmary. I knew what was going to happen in a matter of hours. I knew what he was going to have to go through for hours on end. I hated it, but I left him. I pulled the other boys out of the room and immediately turned on them.

"What in the name of Merlin were doing?" I hissed. "I meant for his confession to not happen all at once," I glared at all of them in turn and stopped at James. He looked at me confused.

"You knew before you asked him?" He looked at me with an accusatory stare. I pursed my lips.

"I had my suspicions," I whispered, "But you're avoiding my question. Why were you there?" Sirius spoke up.

"We were just visiting. We're good friends too, you know," He raised an eyebrow. I sighed.

"Fine. Fine. Sorry, I just meant for him to tell me and then I could help him be more _comfortable_ and get him to tell you guys. I meant to it to be small. One person at a time. Obviously, that's not what happened," I said waving my hand around towards the door.

"He seemed okay when we left, it probably got rid of a lot of pressure off him. He's been hiding this for what, five years? That's _insane_ ," Peter said in his whispery voice, his eyes wide.

"Yeah. Whatever. It happened so it's over," I said shaking my head. "We need to get back to the commons though, it's—" I glanced at my watch. "Ah, hippogriff feathers. We're in the curfew," I looked at James. He sighed and pulled out the invisibility cloak from his bag. Now, this cloak I had seen in action many times before in a number of pranks. Not to mention many that I had not witnessed.

"Will it fit over all four of us?" I asked, my eyebrows creasing.

"Oh, yeah. We could probably fit like, six people under this thing. It's amazing," James said in complete confidence. I shrugged and we all got under the cloak. Now, you would not understand out predicament of movement through several corridors, a moving staircase, and several doors pretending to be walls whilst underneath a cloak containing four persons unless you have been in a situation much like that. If you have, you would understand that movement was very difficult, particularly when the group consists of four people of various different heights and speeds. In short, it took a while for us to get to the common room and at the end of that time, several people were very cross with each other.

When we arrived at the portrait of the fat lady I immediately tore off the thing taking a breath of fresh air.

"Finally!" Sirius exclaimed as he threw the cloak off him tossed his mussed hair, attempting to fix it of its much-tangled mop as a result of the experience. James came out next, his glasses crooked on his nose and took the cloak from Peter and stuffed it in his bag.

The Fat Lady looked at us curiously. At the moment she was sharing her frame with one of the women painted on the fourth floor. They were both drinking wine from the same portrait and their faces were very pink.

"Hello," She hiccupped. "What were you all doing past the curfew?" She whispered something to her friend and they both giggled. The second women took another swig from the wine bottle and hiccupped as well.

"Ah, nothing. Just having some fun," James waved airily. I snorted. What we had been doing could hardly count as fun. He rolled his eyes at me and turned back to the portrait. "Passwords thaumaturgic," He said. The Fat Lady giggled and swung open. We traipsed in and Sirius headed for the couch by the fire.

"Ah, don't," I warned. He looked at me curiously. "We have Quidditch practice tomorrow," I said, nodding my head towards James. "Potter won't be too happy if you aren't ready and kicking tomorrow morning,"

"True that," James said, coming up behind me. "I also expect that of my star chaser, got it?" He said, raising an eyebrow at me. I nodded at rolled my eyes slightly. He winked and I headed up to my dorm, tossing my hair. "Good night!" James called after me. 

"Likewise," I said, and quietly opened the door to my dorm. The girls were already asleep. I tiptoed about and changed into my pyjamas as quickly as possible. I combed out my hair and laid down on my bed, ready to go to sleep. As I closed my eyes, a voice whispered from my right.

"What were you doing with those boys tonight?" Lily murmured from her bed. I turned towards her.

"Nothing, we were just visiting Rem and we accidentally stayed out past curfew. It's fine, we got back all right didn't we?" I could tell Lily was rolling her eyes. "Goodnight,"

"Goodnight."

"COME ON!" James roared at Richie. "That was an easy shot! Try it again," Lemme explain the layout of our team. Richie here is Richard King. He's bespectacled, skinny, brown-haired, and golden eyed. He's quiet but that's what makes him dangerous. He's our keeper. James, Sirius, and I are the Chasers, the red-headed duo, Gideon and Fabian Prewett are the beaters and Melissa McGonagall is the seeker. She's pale, half French, and blonde haired with the iciest pair of blue eyes imaginable. Let's just say, she manages her grace and beauty by crushing the other teams. She doesn't like going by her first name though because she's the niece of Professor McGonagall and the M.M. situation doesn't do it for her so she goes by her middle name, Genevive.

And we're good at what we do.

We all landed and stood before James who was nodding his head. 

"Good job _everyone_ today, you all performed admirably," I waited. "But," He said. I looked over at Sirius. He winked and I returned my attention back to our captain who was pacing again. "We need to work just a bit harder. I _know_ we're all put out by our defeat last year, which is... _unfortunate,"_ He seethed, his eyes flashing. "But that doesn't mean we'll lose this year. Heck, you two helped Gryffindor win an award back in 71," James said, pointing at Genevive and Richard. They were both in seventh year this year, having been in third year the year we'd won the award. "So we all know our team is perfectly capable of winning _this_ year, and will. I can feel it," He looked us each in the eye.

I felt my heart soar when he looked at me. We would win this year, I felt it too. I couldn't wait for our first competition. It was next week against the Slytherins, and I had no doubt in my mind we would thrash them.

"Anyway, great practice everyone, see you all Wednesday," He dismissed us. He caught my eye and I wiggled my eyebrows at him. He winked and I rolled my eyes. As I made my way through the locker rooms, I glanced at my wraps in the corner of my shelf space. I thought for a minute. It had been a while since I'd boxed. Boxing was my passion, but I hadn't worked out since school had started. Humming a song from a new band I had discovered called the weird sisters, I changed out of my Quidditch robes and into my boxing gear. Leggings, long breezy t-shirt, sports bra, and tennis shoes. Pulling my hair into a high ponytail, I grabbed my wraps and followed the corridor into the weight room.

Now, let's get one thing straight; I don't box in competitions or anything. I don't fancy breaking my nose every time I want to punch something, though I'd done that to Malfoy a while back, I did it for fitness. Something to keep me in good shape. Plus, it was good for self-defence. Plenty of wizards rely on their wands to protect them, but I learned at an early age that there's only so much a wand can to to help you.

As I walked into the weight room I didn't expect anyone to be in there working out. Surely, after a practice like that, people would want a rest. Except for one person. James Potter was doing pulls ups when I walked in. I flushed as I realized he was shirtless as well, but I made my way to the corner where the punching bag hung. James had spotted me by now and came over.

"What are you doing, yoga?" He winked, referring to the leggings. I rolled my eyes.

"No," I said. I began wrapping my hand with the cloth, making a hard fist when I was finished. I began on the other hand.

"You box?" He asked surprised.

"Obviously," I replied, finishing my wrap on the other hand. I adjusted it, and once satisfied, I began punching the bag. I started out slow, then picked up my tempo. The thing with boxing is that you can't punch it straight on. Or extremely hard either. You'll break your wrist doing that. There's a strategy, and specific punches that make sense at specific times. For example, the four main punches are the Jab, the Cross, the Hook, and the Uppercut. Of course, you can branch out, but it's always the basic four. James spoke up again.

"I didn't know you could box," He said, watching me. I took a breath.

"Well, I _do_ ," I said, punching the bag at 'do'. A stretch of time went by.

"You're very good," He said.

"Thank you," I said stiffly, doing a few jabs to the side of the bag.

"Why'd you start?" He asked. I sighed and steadied the bag. I turned toward him, crossing my arms.

"Because I wanted to learn how to punch something properly," I said, my eyes flashing in annoyance. I determinedly ignored his shirtless chest and was grateful for my already red face. He tilted his head.

"Have you ever had to use it against people? Other than Malfoy I mean," He laughed. I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," I said, and turned back to the bag, doing a hard undercut. Another stretch of time passed. I punched the bag harder, determinedly ignored James' watchful eye.

"Who?" He asked, tilting his head. I paused for a moment. A memory dashed across my vision. I frowned.

"No one in particular," I said, my stomach clenching. Another memory surfaced, but I pushed it down again, locking it in the cage where hurtful things go. I sneered at the bag and punched it so hard, it rocked. James took the hint and left to finish his own workout, leaving me fervently punching over and over again, breathless and exhilarated.


	8. Ideas

"I know how we help you!" I yelled, sprinting into the library. Remus looked up in surprise. Madame Pince scowled.

"Help me with what?" Remus asked, bemused as I set down a stack of books and papers that toppled all over his table. I shoved some of them aside and reached for one of the books, flipping rapidly through the pages.

"Your furry little problem," I said.

"You do know there's no cure," Remus sighed.

"Oh, I know," I said, reaching the page I was looking for and turned it toward Remus, pointing. His brows furrowed in confusion.

"How is animagi going to help me?"

"Well, we're not going to have _you_ turn into an animagus, James, Sirius, Peter, and I will," I said, matter-of-factly. He shook his head and pushed the book away.

"You're mad. Again, how is that supposed to help me?"

"Aw, c'mon Remus, I know you've read about it at least _once._ It's been proven that werewolves don't attack animals, only humans," Remus made a shushing motion. "Sorry," I said quieter. "But if we become animagi then we can be with you, you won't attack us, and hopefully one of us will be a big enough animal to prevent you from doing that," I gently touched his cheek, where the most of his scars were. He brushed my hand away and covered the white, jagged lines. Remus slowly shook his head.

"No, it won't work. There's no way they'll let you register to become one while you're still in school," He pointed out. I nodded.

"Well, let me rephrase this. We'll become _unregistered_ animagi," His jaw dropped in something resembling shock.

"No. No way, you can't break the law to help me out! That's ludicrous,"

"But will you stop us?" I said. His silence was enough of an answer. I smiled. He grimaced at my look.

"You do realize how complex that is? It takes _months,"_ I interrupted him.

"Two, actually. It's not _that_ hard. I mean, we do have to keep a mandrake leaf on our tongue for half that time, but I'll figure something out," I waved my hand about, unperturbed. He just shook his head.

"There's no way. There's no way Sirius and James will be able to take it seriously enough to accomplish this," He warned.

"Actually, I've already talked to them. They said they'd do anything if meant helping you," I saw his eyes widen and his resolve crack. He turned away. I heard him take a deep breath. It was a very choked up voice he spoke with next.

"Th—They actually said that?" I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes. We all want to help you. And if it means keeping a disgusting leaf in my mouth for a month, I'm down. And so are the others," A pause.

"Thank you,"

"No problem,"

There was a slight problem. We had been puzzling over it for a few days. How were we supposed to keep a mandrake in our mouth for a month? We had already taken the leaves from the greenhouse. That was easy. But the instructions said it had to be touching your tongue, so we couldn't glue it to the roof of our mouths with a spell as James had suggested, nor would we be able to speak while it was there. It was too noticeable. If one of the teachers saw that our tongues had mysteriously turned green, they would evidently ask why. We'd probably be able to come up with an excuse, but if McGonagall saw it we'd be dead meat. She'd know exactly what it was.

We had to get a move on. If we didn't act now, it would take longer for us to help Remus. Plus we had to time it right. We'd miss one full moon, but if we started this week, we'd be animagi soon enough for the next one.

So, I came up with a plan.

We walked into Transfiguration the next day, Remus looking much better than he had a few days ago, and the rest of us completely silent. Which was not in the normal. Professor McGonagall looked at us suspiciously.

"Why are you all so quiet all of a sudden? Seems a bit out of character for you four," She said. I swallowed nervously, feeling the leaf on my tongue. Remus started rambling out a vague excuse. James took out his wand and started tracing words in the air. I rolled my eyes.

'We're protesting about the treatment of students. Teachers these days give too much homework. They—' I waved my hand through his words. Sirius had already started writing.

'Actually, we've seen a change in heart. We've treated you very badly so we're taking a vow of silence.' It would've sounded very nice if Sirius and James hadn't been snickering. I waved my hand through this as well and started writing my own words.

'The REAL story is that they gave me a potion as a prank and it hurt my voice. I won't be able to speak for a month. They're doing it because they felt bad.' McGonagall hmmed, clucked her tongue, and nodded. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"And why aren't you doing it, Mr Lupin?" She inquired. I froze.

"Because I'm not stupid," He said, glaring at James and Sirius. They just smiled sweetly. McGonagall waved us back. We sat down at our desks. My heart was thumping, and I couldn't concentrate on the lesson as the Professor started speaking. A note landed on my desk. I unfolded it and read the message.

_So far so good._

Eating was a challenge. We had glued the leaves to our tongues with a spell, but that didn't mean they wouldn't tear. We decided to avoid anything you had to chew a lot. Which meant our meal consisted of rolls, soup, and steamed vegetables. Lily was concerned about the whole 'potion' thing.

"Did they seriously damage your throat?" She asked, shooting a glance at the boys. I wrote on the parchment I had been carrying around.

'No, it'll be healed in about a month.'

"Did Madame Pomfrey take a look at it?" She brushed a strand of ginger hair out of her face.

'Yes.'

"Did she prescribe anything?" She asked impatiently. "Here let me take a look,"

'I'm fine Lily.' I wrote, racking my mind for an excuse.

"Nonsense, let me see," Admitting defeat, I opened my mouth. She saw the leaf and looked at it confusedly. I saw James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus look at me in utter shock from the corner of my eye.

"Why do you have a leaf in your mouth?" She asked, her eyebrows knit.

'It's the prescription Madame Pomfrey gave me. It's supposed to help.' I wrote. Thankfully, she nodded.

"Oh, okay. That's good. I still can't believe they would do that! Those jerks," She started rambling about how terrible the marauders were. I gave a thumbs up to the boys who were still staring at me. I went back to eating carefully and scanned the room.

I looked over at the Slytherin table. I saw Lucius, Narcissa, and Snape. Some of their other friends and someone who had been hanging out with their little group for a while. Regulus sat next to Theodore Nott. I had always thought of Regulus as a sort of neutral threat, really. He didn't bother us, we didn't bother him. I knew he was brothers with Sirius and that they didn't get along fabulously, but I knew Sirius still loved his brother.

I looked over at Sirius. He was eating moodily and every so often he would glance up at the Slytherin table, at his brother. He looked conflicted. I could hardly blame him.

Family was a complicated thing.

Later, I was sitting in the common room, reading through my paper for Charms when James sat down next to me. He scribbled something on a piece of parchment and handed it to me.

_This is going to be amazing. You're a genius for coming up with this idea._

I wrote back.

_Thanks. I just couldn't live with the fact that I couldn't help Rem._

I handed it back to him and added a few more lines to my paper before he handed it back.

_You're very cute when you're focused._

I flushed. James certainly knew how to flatter someone, but I refused to let it work on me. I ignored my heart which had seemed to pick up its pace.

_I will not go on a date with you, Potter._

I handed it back and tried to ignore his presence. And my heart beating. And my pink face.

_I didn't ask you to go on a date._

Those were his words. I stared at them in annoyance. He had leaned back, his arms behind his head.

_Well, let's not beat around the bush. That's what you want, isn't it?_

He glanced at me, smiling, biting his lip. He wrote something very short.

_Yes._

His hands went back behind his head, while I tried to come up with something to write back. His arm slipped around my shoulders. I stiffened and felt my face turn pink. But I didn't move it away.

_Maybe I would if you weren't such a twat._

I wrote, scathingly. He reached for the paper and read it. He grinned. His arm didn't leave my shoulders.

_Really? Then I'm a changed man!_

I refused to laugh, however, a small giggle left my lips. I covered my mouth, as James glanced at me, smiling incredulously. I had _not_ just laughed at one of his jokes. I did _not._

_I seriously doubt it._

I handed it back, looking anywhere but at his smirking face. He read it over.

_Alright, maybe I'm not right now. But if I did change, would you go out with me?_

I read it slowly. I read it twice. The tip of my quill faltered over the page. I felt James' gaze on me and became even more aware of his arm around me.

_Maybe._

I wrote in faltering penmanship. I handed it back. I couldn't resist a glance at his face as he read my words, or word if you will. His eyes lit up, and he smiled. He scribbled something down.

_That's all I need._

He stood up and stretched, ruffling his ever messy hair. I watched him. He smirked, bent down, and kissed me every so lightly on the cheek. In a flash, he turned and walked up the stairs to his dorm. I blinked in surprise. I reached up and touched my cheek, my head swimming in confusion.


	9. Throwing Punches

Maybe. Why on earth had I said _maybe?_ I had opened a window of opportunity for him. Granted, the window was ten feet off the ground, but James Potter was good at making ladders.

It had been two weeks since the first day and it was becoming increasingly difficult keeping the leaves in our mouths. There had been a very close call when Peter had choked on his while eating. We almost had to start him over. Luckily we didn't, but the incident had caught the suspicions of Professor McGonagall.

Currently, we were in the boys' dormitory, which was the only place we could talk without revealing ourselves.

"What animal do you reckon you're going to be?" I asked them. I was sitting on the floor at the foot of Remus' bed, legs crossed. As far away from James as possible. Remus was laying on his stomach on his bed, his chin propped up on his hand, reading a book. James was sitting, his legs stretched out, leaning against the wall. He was toying with his wand, twirling it about in his fingers. Sirius was leaning against the wall beside him, foot tapping on the floor, arms crossed. Peter was sitting crisscrossed on his bed, twiddling his fingers. A nervous habit.

"I think a lion," James said, confidently.

"A lion?" I snorted. "You're not strong enough to be a lion," James put a hand to his chest, pretending to be offended.

"Shame on you. How do you know how strong I am? You've never seen me work out. Oh, wait. You have," He smirked at me, his eyes twinkling, mischievously. I rolled my eyes and tried not to think back on the thought of him shirtless and working out.

"You don't have very many traits to do with lions, though. Besides being in Gryffindor I suppose," Remus said.

"Exactly. I'm a Gryffindor, I ought to be a lion," James said, as though that was obvious.

"But that would mean McGonagall would be a lion," I pointed out. Sirius gasped.

"James is going to be a cat! Ten Galleons, I call it," We all laughed while James moped.

"I'm not going to be a cat," He said, grumpily.

"Ah, cheer up, mate. Sirius'll probably be a frog or something," I said, waving my hand in Sirius' general direction. Remus snorted and James laughed.

"I'll make being a frog all the rage," Sirius grinned. "What about Iris, though?"

"I think I'm gonna be a fox or something," I shrugged.

"No, you box. Maybe you'll be a kangaroo," James said. I laughed, shaking my head.

"Yeah, sure. A kangaroo," I giggled. "At least I'll be the strongest,"

"Wait, Iris boxes?" Sirius asked. I nodded, smiling. "Can you teach me? Can you beat up James?"

"Tell you what, I'll teach you by beating up James, how's that?" I winked at him, standing and cracking my knuckles. "You down, Potter?" James stood grinning.

"Sure, let's see what you got," He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Alright, Sirius. First, you get into a ready position with your non-dominant foot forward, fists curled, and lined up with your opponent," I readied myself and planted my feet down. "When you're going to punch someone, you need to use your whole body, so you rotate like so," I picked up my right foot slightly and twisted so that my right fist lightly connected with James' chest. "Once you advance, you need to turn, get into a new position, and do it again," I showed him this. Remus was watching curiously, waiting. Peter was still nervously twiddling his thumbs and Sirius was watching, amusedly. James stood in front of me unperturbed and smirking. "Be on the constant lookout for any attacks they might throw at you. If they do attack, dodge or block. You block by holding your forearms like this," I showed him by placing my fists and forearms together and holding them in front of my face.

"Now for the punching," I looked at James' confident stature and smirked, evilly. "There are four punches. The Jab, the Cross, the Hook, and the Uppercut. Allow me to demonstrate," I squared up against James' smirking face. He wavered, ever so slightly. "The Jab," I punched him directly in the stomach with my left fist. He clutched his stomach, wincing. "The Cross," I punched him with my right fist, twisting. "The Hook," I bent my elbow and punched his side with as much force as possible. He wheezed, tilting sideways. "The Uppercut," I hooked my arm, elbow pointed down and punched him in the jaw. His head snapped up and he fell over.

Sirius was laughing uncontrollably, holding his stomach. Remus was trying and failing not to fall off his bed from sheer amusement. Peter was looking very confused as to whether he should or should not laugh, so he compromised by holding his breath and letting his face turn red. James wheezed on the ground.

"That last one even hurt me," I said, shaking out my hand. James just laid there. "You good, mate?" I asked him.

"Owwww...." He groaned and sat up, running his fingers through his even-more-messed-up-than-usual hair, and adjusted his glasses, his ego more bruised than he was. "Remind me never to mess around with you again,"

"Again?" Remus inquired from his bed. I just waved my hand dismissively. Sirius was still giggling, wiping away tears from his mirth.

"That was amazing," He clapped a hand on James' shoulder, who winced. "Sorry, mate," But he was still smiling.

"I'm okay. Though I might need a kiss to make all my owies feel better," James pouted at me, his lips turned down.

"That's what Sirius is for," I said. Sirius puckered up his lips.

"Come to me, darling, I'll make you feel all better," Sirius wrapped his arms around him. James shoved him away, laughing.

"No, from a more... Feminine source," He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Again; Sirius," I said. Remus snorted.

"Aww, playing hard-to-get are we?" James winked.

"More like never-gonna-get," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Nice!" Sirius said, high-fiving me. James just shook his head and ruffled his fingers through his pitch hair. Merlin, his hair.

Class was easy for me. The teachers knew I already knew the things they were teaching, and they didn't ask me questions. They also knew of my aptitude with nonverbal spells, so I was well off during their lessons. The other Marauders, however... let's just say they didn't have it as easy.

"Potter!" McGonagall called, crossly. James jolted and sat up. "What does the t stand for in this equation?" She pointed at the one on the [board](https://i.imgur.com/nIalmpJ.png). James just pointed at his mouth. The Professor sighed. "Write it on the board," James grimaced. He stood and walked to the front of the class and took the piece of chalk from Professor McGonagall. I could hear Sirius snickering. He wrote something on the board and stepped away.

'Tarantulas'

The class laughed. James bowed flamboyantly and walked back to his seat.

"Incorrect, five points from Gryffindor," McGonagall pursed her lips as James winked at her. "It stands for the Transformation Difficulty," She labelled that on the board. "The w stands for Wand power, the c stands for Concentration, V for Viciousness, A for mass of beginning object, and Z is the unknown variable. Put those numbers into the equation and you should be able to transfigure your object accordingly," She chalked everything on the board. The bell rang. "Assignment is page 467 in your textbook. Do the whole page, work to be turned in Monday,"

I gathered my things and walked out the room with Remus. Our next class was Charms. James, Sirius, and Peter had particularly struggled with this because they did not know nonverbal spells. Luckily, I did.

Class started and we were practising the hover charm with pillows. I picked up the skill quickly. I heard James swear under his breath. Remus sat beside me, his pillow floating in the air. I swivelled in my chair, watching everyone attempting the spell. James was severely annoyed as his pillow remained stationary. Sirius' pillow was sort of flopping around like a wet moth. I smiled and turned back to mine, practising by taking the spell off and re-doing it.

Neither James, Sirius, or Peter succeeded in perfecting the spell.

"Iris! Finally, someone competent enough to help us!" Marlene cried as I walked through the portrait hole. I tilted my head in question. Lily, Mary, and Marlene were struggling with their Transfiguration homework. They were sitting in one of the couches all looking quite frustrated, even Lily. I sat down between Lily and Marlene.

 _'What seems to be the problem?_ ' I wrote on a piece of parchment.

"We can't figure it out. The equation hasn't worked all the times we've tried it," Lily explained. I took a look at her paper. Her handwriting was flawless as always, but I noticed a problem with her numbers.

 _'You're doing weight, not mass. A is for mass.'_ I scribbled and handed the note to Lily.

"Oh, Merlin, you're right! I must've written my notes down wrong or something," She shook her head. "Thanks," I gave her a thumbs up. Sirius and Scarlett Atkindon walked in from the portrait hall, flirting and teasing ach other. Probably from the Charms class. They sat down in the corner of the common and began scribbling on a piece of paper. I ignored them and continued to 'talk' with the girls. Mary was still struggling a little bit with the homework so Lily was helping her out. I sort of daydreamed for a while. After a few minutes, I began to notice something about Marlene.

Every so often, she would look up at Sirius and Scarlett, gaze at them for a while, and then turn back to her parchment. It was like clockwork. It was maybe the fourth or fifth time she did this that I noticed that she wasn't looking at both of them, only one. Sirius. Now it was basically common lore in our group that Marlene thought Sirius attractive, but we've never gone so far as to assume anything other than that, but as I watched her, every time she looked up, her face would get a little bit pinker. I smiled.

'You have a crush on Sirius.' I wrote on a piece of parchment and handed it to her. It took her a moment, but she looked at it. She immediately turned red.

"No, I don't!" She whispered.

'Yes you do, I know that look Marlene, you get it whenever you want something' I wrote. She flushed a bit, glanced at Sirius again, and let her blonde hair fall in front of her eyes.

"No, I don't," She said firmly. I raised an eyebrow. "Well... He is very good looking..." She admitted.

 _'Yes, and you too would look good together,_ ' I wrote. She shook her head frantically.

"I don't though," She said, pouting.

 _'Sure,_ " I grinned at her. She gave me the evil eye but I pouted at her.

"Fine. Whatever you want to believe," She said, waving her hand about.

I winked at her.

"You what?!" Mary gasped.

"Oh, this is wonderful, you'd be so cute together," Lily fawned.

' _Told you,'_ I wrote. Marlene buried her face in her hands.

"I don't!" She begged us to understand.

"I always just thought you liked his looks," Lily mentioned.

"I'm telling you, I don't!" Marlene insisted, desperately.

"We promise we won't tell," Mary said, crossing an X over her heart. Lily and I did the same.

"You people are insufferable!" Marlene said, face crimson, but laughing all the same.

_'I ship it,"_ I wrote. Lily gasped.

"Oh! You two need a ship name!"

"What about Mirius?" Mary suggested.

"Or Sarlene?" Lily giggled.

' _What about their last names? What about Blackinnon?_ ' I put in.

"Perfect!" Lily enthused. "Blackinnon it is,"

"So cute," Mary said, dreamily. Marlene covered her face again.

'Aww, you love us,' I grinned.

"I know, that's why I'm not cursing you all" she muttered. We all laughed.

Later, we were all lying in our beds, attempting to fall asleep.

"To Blackinnon," Mary whispered.

"To Blackinnon!" We all whispered.

Marlene groaned.


	10. Predjudice

I woke the next morning much earlier than I normally would. The sun was barely rising over the hills. I blinked once or twice and glanced at the clock. 5:27. I groaned and lied back on my pillow. I knew why I had woken up so early; stress. Our first Quidditch match was today against the Slytherins. Of course, our team was basically perfect, but still. The excitement and nervousness of quidditch never went away.

Two more weeks had passed and I was glad to say I no longer had a leaf on my tongue. Things were returning mostly to normal, we just needed to continue with the rest of the spell. The next step had been to make a potion, which you were supposed to drink every morning for two weeks. It had taken a while to make the potion, but I was pretty positive I had it right. I made enough to last all four of us two weeks and had measured it all out in corked vials and had given the rest of the Marauders their fourteen. I was not looking forward to its taste. It smelled awful.

I sighed and accepted the fact that I would not be going back to sleep. I rolled off the bed and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I pulled my hair into a high bun and grabbed my broom. I unbottled a vile of the potion and drank it. I retched when it touched my tongue. It was so disgusting, like slimy, pungent, salt. I swallowed, wrinkled my nose, and put the vial away. As quietly as I could, I headed downstairs to the common room. No one was awake yet. I reasoned that I might as well get a bite to eat before the match and exited the commons.

No one was in the hall either, except for a seventh year Gryffindor who looked worse for worn, holding a half-empty cup of coffee. I nodded my head to him and entered the Great Hall. There were a few people in here, a professor of a class I didn't take and two students, probably seventh years studying hard. Coffee cups littered the table beside them. There was no one at the Gryffindor table, however, and I took a seat buttering my toast and spreading some marmalade on it. I poured myself some milk and ran through all the strategies and plays we had been learning for the past few weeks. James had been adamant that we memorise all of them, which I did without trouble. There were a lot of them, though, and it was good to go through them. It gave me something to relax my mind a bit.

I finished my milk and toast and sat for a while, watching the sleep-deprived Ravenclaws attempt to study whilst falling asleep on each other's shoulders and the professor lean back in his chair, his glasses slipping from his nose, which was very amusing to see. I glanced at my wristwatch. It was now 6:13. About three hours until the match. I thought for a bit. Another student walked in, dark-eyed and tired. I watched him sit down at the Hufflepuff table and pour himself some cereal, yawning all the while.

Eventually, I got bored and stood from the table, grabbing my broom and heading for the door. I did not meet anyone in the hallway, the silence present and I felt a minute of solidarity. Alone in this vast castle, whilst everyone slept. I blinked as I stepped out into the weak rays of sunshine, reflecting against the dewy, cool to the touch, grass. I stood there for a moment, taking in the light and the birds chirping, and the breeze ruffling through the Forbidden Forest. Such a foreboding name, I thought.

I walked the path to the Quidditch pitch and was momentarily surprised to see someone flying about in the air, a speck of green. As I got closer, I saw it was the Slytherin, Walter Payne. I waved and he waved back, turning back to shoot another goal. Practicing.

I entered the locker room to see no one was there. Knowing I still had more than two hours until the match, I decided to run through a few of my boxing exercises. Wrapping my hands, I began to practice the four main punches, the usual warm up. After a few minutes, I moved on to rocking the bag and punching it to the rhythm it set. I escalated to my normal speed and went a bit faster. I could feel my bun coming out, but I didn't care. I got really into the rhythm and the minutes flew by.

I only stopped when I heard my watch beep from inside my locker, which meant it was 7:40, the normal time I woke up. I breathed. The silence was deafening. I took off my wraps and rolled them back up, placing them back in my locker. I quickly changed into my Gryffindor Quidditch robes, red and gold as usual, and redid my bun. I pulled on my chaser gloves, which Lily had given me at my birthday a couple years ago and grabbed my broom.

Stepping out, I noticed Walter sitting in the stands, broom leaning against the chair beside him. I grabbed the quaffle, which was sitting by the locker room doors and mounted my broom. Shooting up into the air, I started practising a few moves and a few plays James had taught us. I shot a few goals and quickly got bored. I flew over to the stands, where Walter was watching me.

"You want to practice for a minute?" I asked him. "The match doesn't start for a while, and you're a chaser too, right?" He nodded and I tossed him the ball. He caught it deftly. He sort of gave me an odd look.

"I don't think your team captain would like that," He raised an eyebrow and tossed the ball back to me. I rolled my eyes.

"Ah, screw him. C'mon, we can get some good practice in," I tossed the quaffle back at him and flew toward one of the goalposts. After a moment of indecision, the Slytherin joined me in the air.

"Same team, or against each other?" He asked. I considered the question.

"Well, since there aren't any beaters or keepers we should play together," I said. He agreed and took off toward the goalposts, me trailing behind. He shot a goal and made it. I scooped up the ball and tossed it back. We passed it back and forth until I reached the other goal and made it through the middle hoop. Tossing it back to him, we repeated the process, weaving in between each other, tossing it back and forth, and making goals, chatting amiably the whole time.

"Oi! Brooks!" I looked down and saw James waving at me from the ground, Sirius standing beside him. "Get down here, I'm gonna need some help!"

"Captain's calling. Had a great time though, good luck," I shook hands with Walter.

"Same to you," He smiled and flew off, practising more goals, and I flew down and joined James on the ground. Sirius was yawning, leaning on his broom for support while he attempted to sleep standing up. James however, was standing straight, looking as though he had been awake for hours.

"What were you doing, fraternizing with the enemy?" James accused me, pointing his finger. I rolled my eyes.

"I was not 'fraternizing with the enemy'. We were merely practising," I said, pushing aside his accusatory finger.

"Practising with the enemy!" He retorted.

"He's not the enemy Potter, simply the opponent,"

"Sounds like the enemy to me," Sirius said. I rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time.

"I think she's got a point," The Slytherin Captain said, walking up. Her name was Emma Vanity and she smiled at us. "I certainly don't think of _you_ as the enemy," She said.

"Sure, you don't," James said incredulously. "and I'm a unicorn." Sirius laughed. I frowned and Emma did the same.

"Oh, come on Potter, grow up. You can't let stupid prejudices rule your whole life," I argued. "Merlin, Sirius. Your brother's in Slytherin and you still love him,"

"No I don't," He muttered. I glared.

"That's debatable," I turned back to Emma, who was pursing her lips. "Ignore them, good luck today. You and your whole team," I shook her hand. She nodded at me.

"Thanks. Same to you," She turned and walked away, waving Walter down and they both entered the Slytherin locker rooms. I turned back to James and Sirius, shaking my head.

"You two are despicable," I pushed past them and entered the Gryffindor locker room and began drawing the usual tactics on the board. Soon, James and Sirius joined me. I ignored them. James stood behind me as I drew the last few arrows and lines. He hummed. Annoyed, I turned away and skulked on a bench, waiting for the rest of the team to show up. James inspected my work, adding a few lines of his own until he nodded, and moved away to change. Soon, Fabian and Gideon walked in, greeted me and moved on into the boys' room. Richard and Genevive arrived not much later until all of us were crowded in the main room, James standing in front of the board. He was giving a few last minute tips. Every so often he would glance at me, as though expecting me to nod and say something. For once, I had nothing to add.

The sounds increased outside and over our heads until we were sure almost the whole school was here. We heard the voice of Amarius Fletching, a Hufflepuff, commentating.

"Amazing turnout for the first match of the year, Gryffindor versus Slytherin!" A large amount of cheering and boos from the crowd.

"Alright, team," James said, starting his pre-match pep talk. "I know we can win this one. You might be thinking that the first match isn't that important, but you'd be wrong," His gaze swept over us, looking us each in the eye and infecting us with his confidence. "All the matches matter. Every single one. Do you know why I know we're going to win this? Because we're bloody brilliant. Genevive," He looked into her eyes. "You're probably one of the best seekers this team has ever seen, consistently catching the snitch in under twenty minutes," She gave him and two-fingered salute and he moved on. "Richard. You're the most dedicated person on this team, keeping us together and constantly giving us the confidence we need," Richard smiled. "Fabian and Gideon, you two are basically a package deal. Which is great, because you two work together flawlessly. Not to mention, you keep us laughing even when we're all feeling like dung," Fabian and Gideon winked simultaneously. "Sirius," James paused. "Your majestic mane of hair is our good luck charm," Everyone laughed. "And you're a good chaser too, I guess," Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Iris," He looked me in the eye, grinning like a fool. "You are the best chaser on this team. Without your confidence and your competitiveness, we would not get nearly as many points as we do. You keep us running," James surveyed his team with pride. "And together, we all make a team. An amazing, competitive, dedicated, practically flawless, team," He pounded his fist into his palm. "And _that_ is why we're going to win. Now let's go beat this!" He roared. We all surged upward and yelled, 'Gryffindor for the win!'.

As we all lined up to enter the Quidditch pitch, I put my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me, vaguely surprised.

"You're the best captain this team could have," Was all I said. He blinked, surprised for a moment, and then he smiled at me. He looked forward and squared his shoulders.

"Let's beat them to a pulp," He growled. As we shot out the door, the screams and cheers erupted tenfold. I grinned ear to ear. This is why I joined Quidditch. It was all in the game.

The stands were flooded with students, supporting the teams. Cheers and screams and boos joined together in a great cacophony, banners and flags bearing the house symbols waved in the chill wind. Someone was waving a sign that said 'Gryffindors for the win!' in giant flashing colours. I felt my heart soar and sink at the same time. Taking a breath, a flew toward the centre of the field, ignoring the noise.

We all took our positions. I was on the right of James, who was currently shaking hands with Emma Vanity. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Walter Payne give me a thumbs up. I returned it. A second later, the whistle blew and I shot off after James, who had taken possession of the quaffle. I saw Genevive shoot up into the air in search of the snitch. Fabian and Gideon split up, chasing the bludgers, keeping them from the rest of us.

James weaved through several of the Slytherins. A bludger came out of nowhere to his left and he rolled and tossed the ball to me. Racing toward the goal, I rolled under an opposing Slytherin and chucked the ball to Sirius who threw it into the goal.

"Ten points to Gryffindor!" Amarius yelled into the microphone. The stands cheered and booed accordingly. Walter had taken possession and I chased after him.

"Duck, Brooks!" I heard one of the twins yell. I did so and heard the telltale whistle of the bludger. I looked up. It hit Walter square in the back. I quickly scooped up the quaffle and turned around. In a flash, Walter was on one side of me, and another Slytherin on the other. They pinned me, keeping me from throwing it to my other teammates. I growled and tried to accelerate. They flew closer. I threw the ball behind me and the two left me as James sped past, carrying the ball. He tossed it to Sirius who passed it back to me as I neared the goal. I threw it directly into the right hoop, the Slytherin keeper, Emma Vanity, missing by a hair's width.

Walter took possession of the ball and sped past, James hot in pursuit. I sped after one of the other chasers and guarded him. Walter threw it to him. I tried to block it, but a bludger came by and I had to swerve. He accelerated. I cursed and tailed him. He tossed it to the other Slytherin, but Sirius swept by and stole it, only to be punched in the stomach by a bludger. He dropped it, and Walter took possession long enough to shoot a goal. Richard missed it by inches. I cursed again. I took possession this time and weaved between the other players, keeping the ball under my arm. Fabian flew by, redirecting a bludger's attention away from me. I tossed the ball to Sirius as Walter confronted me, attempting to steal.

Sirius sped toward the goal, passing to James, who did a roll to avoid a bludger and threw it back at him. Sirius threw the ball with force toward the centre hoop. Emma caught it and threw it to Walter. He took off. I followed him, inches away. I pinned him on one side. James quickly joined, pinning him on the other side, as we attempted to get him to drop it. He managed a shot to his teammate who threw at the goal. Richard caught it, deftly, and threw the ball to Sirius. I partnered with him and we threw the ball back and forth, weaving through the players. We neared the goal posts. At the last second, I threw the ball to James who shot a goal.

"Gryffindor with a lead! Forty to ten!" Amarius yelled. More boos and cheers. Walter had taken possession and threw it to a teammate who avoided James and a bludger and threw it back. Walter sped toward the goal. Richard swayed side to side, trying to see where he was aiming. Walter faked a shot and threw it into the right hoop. Richard missed. I took possession and threw to James, who threw to Sirius, back to James, back to me. I held it in the crook of my arm. A Slytherin chaser tried to pin me from my left, but Gideon launched a bludger at him, hitting him in the arm. I took my chance, swerved and scored.

Another Slytherin chaser took possession. She swerved around a bludger Fabian had shot at her. James and Sirius tried to pin her, but she evaded them and threw it to Walter, who threw it to his other teammate, who threw it back to her. Racing after her, I attempted to steal, but she cut me off and shot a goal.

"Fifty—thirty, Gryffindor's favour!" Amarius yelled. "Wait! What's this?" The crowd quieted a bit, then started screaming and cheering three times louder. I looked up and saw Genevive neck and neck with the Slytherin seeker, a glint of gold a few feet ahead of them.

"Get it, Gen!" I screamed.

"The seekers are neck and neck! Who'll pull out first?" The crowd was going crazy. I held my breath as they neared the ground. I saw Genevive reach and grasp it, pulling out. The Slytherin wasn't as lucky. She hit the ground hard and rolled off onto the grass. Genevive threw her fist into the air triumphantly, golden wings flitting between her fingers. I cheered along with the stands and flew over, hugging her as tight as possible. She was laughing and soon I was too. The rest of the team reached us and we were all hugging and cheering like maniacs.

"And a truly thrilling match ends, Gryffindor two hundred, Slytherin thirty!" Amarius yelled over the crazed crowd.

The Slytherins came over for the after match handshakes.

"Good game," I looked them each in the eye and smiled. Walter smiled back when I got to him. "You're a good captain," I told Emma. She smiled, eyebrow raised.

"Thanks," She said.


	11. A Shakespearean Romance

"Bottoms up," I muttered and dumped the vile potion down my throat. It stung and I gagged. I was never going to get used to the taste. It didn't help that I knew exactly what had gone into the potion either. Many things, most of which I did not want to think about. I swallowed as quickly as possible and grabbed my water bottle, chugging it. Water dribbled down my chin, but that didn't matter; the putrid taste was gone. I crinkled my nose. Just three more days, and it would be over.

Well, almost. Two more weeks after that. Those two weeks were supposed to be when we started showing some traits of our animal. For two weeks our eating patterns would change, we'd adopt new habits, etcetera, hopefully giving us hints as to what we were going to be. When those two weeks were over, we should be able to transform. If all went well, that is.

I hastily shoved the now empty vial into my trunk. I would wash it later. I then dressed. Because it was the weekend I need not put on my uniform, so I grabbed my favourite pair of jeans and a black sweatshirt with the word 'Witch' on it in white block letters. I slipped on a pair of white converse and pulled my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. Sticking a grey and white quill into the bun, I grabbed my bag and headed out the door careful not to slam it. I exited the portrait hole and set a brisk pace for the Great Hall.

It was one of those mornings that can only be described simply. Fresh. Entering the Great Hall, there were many students sitting, eating, and chattering. The Marauders had yet to arrive and my friends were still asleep in our dorm. I looked around.

The sunlight threaded through the ceiling the way magic ceilings allow and it looked as though I had arrived just in time for the daily owl post. I sat down just as a great tawny owl fluttered past and dropped the morning newspaper. I unfurled it and grabbed some toast, scrambled eggs, and ham. Scanning the paper, I read through a few titles and stories. Nothing major. The president of the W.I.T. had been replaced, the Minister's official statement about the elf problem down in Wales had been published, and it looked like there was going to be a new book from Maisey Thaghtspot which the critics were raving about. I forked through my eggs, still scanning. Turning the page, my eyes went toward the bottom corner. I almost choked when I read the headline.

'Fourth Auror Killing This Month'

I kept reading, having dropped my fork along with my heart.

'Mr Arthur Cromsby, age 29, resident of Bethnal Green, was killed this Thursday in an angered attack from so-called Death Eaters. Supposedly on a mission for Prime Minister Harold Minchum, it was compromised when his companion, Hallie Maddox, was placed under the Imperious Curse without his knowledge. Highly illegal, the Imperious Curse allows the placer to control the person under the curse. (See more, Pg. 7) It is believed that Maddox was cursed while at work, questioning the reliability of the Auror office. Under this curse, Maddox attacked Cromsby with a rage that was not her own, thereby killing him. Officials found Cromsby lying dead in an alley, Maddox, unconscious beside him.

The Cromsby family are devastated, and when questioned about whether they were going to press charges against Maddox, Mrs Cromsby replied.

"I believe that it was not Hallie who killed him (Arthur Cromsby), simply the actions of a very bad wizard. We won't press charges against someone who doesn't deserve it,"

Maddox is being held for questioning until further notice. It is not known what the verdict may be, but we may all rest assured that the Auror Office is being combed through. With luck, the caster of the curse may be found.'

I didn't keep reading. Setting down the paper, I looked down at my plate. I wasn't hungry anymore. Why did this all have to happen? Being an Auror was a dangerous job. I swallowed, wrapping my arms around myself. Someone sat down beside me.

"Why the long face? D'you really miss me that much? It's only been a day," Sirius teased. I shook my head, pushing the paper toward him, and pointed at the article. He frowned. "Curses," He muttered. James, Remus and Peter joined us at the table.

"What's up?" Remus asked, concerned.

"Another auror's been killed," Sirius said. James eyebrows creased and Remus sagged. Peter began fidgeting even more than usual. I couldn't stand this silent mood. This day started out okay, and I sure as shine wasn't going to let it sour. I stood, excused myself from the group and headed out the door, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

Once out on the grounds, I headed toward my favourite tree by the black lake. It was cool, the December air had not yet kicked in, but the chill was still there. I breathed out, a lick of white cloud emitting from my lips. I smiled and continued to the tree. Upon reaching it, I swung myself up onto its lowest branch, settling against the trunk. The black lake looked darker than ever, and I could vaguely see the shape of the giant squid in its depths. I smiled for a moment, breathing, enjoying the silence of the grounds.

I opened my bag and pulled out a book. 'Othello' boasted the title. A classic. I had been exploring famous wizarding authors and William Shakespear was the one that showed up the most. A rather eccentric man, it seemed he had even caught the eye of muggles, for he was very popular in their world as well. I opened to my bookmark and began to slip into the pages.

Othello was a strange one. A very different view of villainy came from this play. Most stories always have the bad guy seemingly regret their decisions to be bad. In at least one context you see them as a fellow human being with real human emotions. Not in Othello. Othello deceives all of his friends, making them believe terrible things about each other. In the very end, as he is about to kill himself, his friends ask him why he did it all.

'I kiss'd thee ere I kill'd thee: no way but this;  
Killing myself, to die upon a kiss.'

Not an ounce of regret except for his love, who was now dead.

"Whatcha reading?" A voice called below me.

"Othello, by William Shakespear," I said, flipping a page, not looking down at James.

"Oo sounds romantic," I looked down and he wiggled his eyebrows. I turned back to my book.

"Sure, if you call driving a bunch of people to their deaths including your girlfriend until you finally commit suicide yourself romance, then yes. Very romantic," He was taken aback.

"Well—umm... wow," I smirked down at him. He was rubbing the back of his neck, awkwardly. He looked up at me, adjusting his glasses. He smiled and swung himself over the branch I was on. I gripped onto a branch for stability. "Oof," He said. I snorted and adjusted myself so that he would have more room. He finally situated himself, cross-legged, across from me. He cocked his head. "Have you read Romeo and Juliet?" I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, but it's not exactly my ideal romance, how it ended and all," He frowned.

"What do you mean?" He tilted his head at me. I laughed.

"Have _you_ read Romeo and Juliet?" He hesitated then shook his head. I laughed again and explained. "They both commit suicide in the end. A miscommunication error. Juliet figured that if she faked her death she'd be able to elope with Romeo but she forgot to mention that to Romeo who actually thought she died. Long story short, he _actually_ killed himself and Juliet was so remorseful she killed herself too. For real that time," James' eyebrows raised. "Not to mention they 'fell in love' over the course of five days. Not _exactly_ what I want in love," I smiled at him. He ran his fingers through his dark hair making it even more ruffled.

"Wow," He said, very much surprised. I nodded.

"Technically, all of Shakespear's plays are tragedies even if they were categorized as comedies. Someone always dies,"

"What do you look for in a romance?" James cocked an eyebrow. I tilted my head curiously, tapping a finger to my chin.

"Someone who treats me well. Someone who can make me laugh, someone who can handle me at my worst, someone who can understand we all have our secrets. Someone who loves me. And heck, someone attractive if possible," I laughed. "Honestly, it depends. What do _you_ look for?"

"Hm," He tilted his head, looking me directly in the eye. I felt my cheeks heat a fraction. Must've been the harsh wind. "Someone who's laugh can brighten my day even when I'm at rock bottom. Someone who can stand up for herself but isn't afraid of help. Someone who loves me as much as I love her. Someone who is so beautiful, even the sun and the stars and the moon stop for a second just to look at her longer. Someone who will love me and hug me and kiss me even when I make a mistake. Someone who is selfless and who stands loyal to her friends. Someone who is her own self and isn't afraid to do things she thinks are right. Someone who is brave, and wonderful, and selfless, and tough. Someone who knows her own boundaries and isn't afraid to push them. A leader. An angel. A fighter," My breath had long caught in my throat. James seemed to lean closer to me. Our eyes seemed magnetic. My heart was doing that weird, fluttery thing again. For once, I didn't try to stop it. The silence seemed to stretch with tension. I blinked. I leaned back against the tree.

"That's a pretty tall order," I said, looking away, busying myself with my bag. James leaned back, A look of... disappointment maybe?

"Maybe. But I already know her," My heart skipped a beat again. I brushed a stray strand of hair out of my face and slung down off the branch, landing cat-like on the ground. I straightened up and adjusted the bag on my shoulder.

"I must be going. I have a study session with Lily right now," I lied, looking at my watch. James jumped off the branch.

"Allow me to accompany you," He grinned, perfect teeth on display, holding out his arm. I shook my head.

"That's not.. not necessary," I stuttered, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Oh, it's no trouble," He took my hand, entwining his fingers in mine. I kept stuttering as we walked across the grounds. What was happening? I stopped as we reached the castle, embarrassed. James looked down at me, amused. I blushed. Merlin, he was tall. Suddenly, I straightened. What had come over me? I removed my hand from his, my frown prominent. He looked at me, leisurely, hands in his pockets.

"I can find my way to the library, thank you very much," I sassed. James held up his hands in defeat.

"I'm sure you can," He smirked.

"Thank you for the pleasant conversation. Goodbye," I started off down the hall. He called after me.

"Go on a date with me, Brooks?" I snorted, not looking back.

"Not on your life!" I marched off in the direction of the library, James laughing quietly where I left him.


	12. Heartstrings

The last one. Finally. No more vile potions, no more morning gag. I pulled the stopper off with a pop and swallowed it in one gulp. It barely touched my tongue. I sighed. Two more weeks and I'd be an animagus. I prayed that it would all work out.

I had woken earlier than the other girls so I could claim the showers before any of them could. Locking the door, I stripped and stepped into the shower, letting the steaming water stream over my skin. I ran my fingers through my hair, soaking it and let out another sigh. What a good way to start the morning. I finished quickly and listened to the sounds of the other girls waking. I stepped out and dressed in the usual uniform. Blow-drying my hair, I unlocked the door, allowing the other girls to come in and apply makeup and whatnot.

Gossiping and chatting we got ready, Lily keeping an eye on the clock.

"Come on, it's almost 7:40. We still need to eat breakfast," Lily scolded.

"Alright, alright, give us a break, Lils," Marlene laughed, applying her signature red lip. Lily rolled her eyes.

I grabbed my bag and we all headed down, laughing and joking all the way. We reached the Great Hall and sat down. Marlene immediately grabbed her usual coffee and Mary her tea. To my slight surprise, Lily poured herself some coffee too.

"What's with the coffee, Lils?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Late night. Prefect duties," Lily supplied.

"Ah, who were you paired with this time?" Mary inquired, stirring honey into her tea and taking a sip.

"Remus, thank goodness. That Ravenclaw boy, Davis, was giving me a look again," Lily shook her head, and we all laughed.

Just then, the owl post swooped in. I was greeted by my daily newspaper. Marlene got her usual of 'Witch Weekly' and immediately leaned in with Mary looking over her shoulder.

I cracked open the newspaper and scanned the stories. Not much, and to my relief no more deaths. There was something about the giants though... I began eating my breakfast, a giant cinnamon roll today, and only looked up when a group of someones sat beside our group. A familiar someone sat down on my left. I looked back down at my paper.

"Hullo, James," I took a sip of my pumpkin juice.

"Hello, Love," I sent him a glare, but he pretended not to notice, grabbing a cinnamon roll as well as some bacon. "Did you have a good study session with Lily?" He raised an eyebrow. I flushed for a second. He knew I had lied.

"Pleasant. Great, because you weren't there," I said, still reading my paper. He laughed. I took another bite of cinnamon roll and turned the page with a rustle.

"Ready for the next two weeks?" James asked, conversationally.

"Yes," I answered shortly. James smiled down at his plate.

"Well, I've been thinking,"

"A dangerous pastime," I remarked. He snorted.

"Yes, I suppose it is. Love," He smiled as I rolled my eyes. "But, you know, Christmas is coming up,"

"Yes, it is. Great of you to figure that out," I quipped. He smiled.

"Thanks, it took a lot of brain power," I snorted. "But anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to spend your holiday at my house? Sirius, Remus, and Peter'll be staying over too and I thought maybe you'd want to," He shrugged. I paused, my fork halfway to my lips.

"I—well, I'd love to, but I'm staying at Hogwarts this holiday," I put down my fork. James frowned.

"Why?" He asked. There was not a simple answer to that question.

"Well, you know. O.W.L.s and stuff. Very important. Supposedly very hard," I nodded. And other reasons.

"Are you sure? My parents would love to have you," James said, eyebrows creased, slightly concerned.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm very sorry, maybe I'll come visit you halfway through or something," I gave him a small smile.

"Yeah, I'll owl you," James nodded. I turned back to my paper, my face slightly flushed. There were a few reasons I was staying at Hogwarts over the holidays, and most of them had nothing to do with O.W.L.s. I checked my watch and hurriedly gobbled up the rest of my food.

"Come on, you guys, five minutes 'til History of Magic," I said. Our group of four got up and headed out the great oak doors. Hurrying toward the classroom that housed Professor Binns, I silently cursed the class and how it was three floors up. We jumped on a moving staircase and waited as it swung to the correct doorway. As it stopped, there came a sudden BANG from behind us and a chorus of laughter.

"What was that?" Mary asked. I shook my head, creasing my eyebrows.

"Doesn't matter. We'll be late to class," Lily said and strode through the doorway. Mary and Marlene followed her. I paused.

"What are you doing?" Marlene asked, crossly. "We're not going to make it on time,"

"I'm gonna be a bit late," I said, and jumped back down, just as the staircase started to move again. The three girls yelled their disapproval as I disappeared, heading toward the source of the noise. I reached a hallway. Fireworks were whizzing and going off everywhere, the grey walls were slightly singed and blackened in places. I ducked as a fiery rocket shot past my head, exploding in red on the far wall. I weaved through the mass of projectiles, narrowly avoiding my eyebrow being singed off by a speeding sparkler and coughing my lungs out from the smoke. I backed up against the wall beside a tapestry, covering my mouth. A hand reached out from behind the tapestry and pulled me into a secret passage. I toppled onto someone's lap.

"You idiots," I coughed. "McGonagall will know it was you,"

"Ah, worth the risk," Sirius grinned. I saw Remus roll his eyes in the grey darkness. Peter giggled nervously. The person I was sitting on happened to be James Potter. His arms were wrapped around me in a way I tried to avoid thinking about too much.

"Let go of me, Potter," I ordered. He just wrapped his arms around me tighter and put his lips to my ear.

"Now, why should I do that?" He murmured. I flushed in the dusty pitch.

"Because I asked you to," I stated and attempted to wriggle from his grasp. He just pulled me closer. His warm breath tickled my neck. "And because I could totally tell McGonagall who did this. Eyewitness accounts are better than suspicions, you know," James grumbled and let go of me. I slid off him and leant against the wall. Sirius was shaking with laughter and Remus was smiling in the darkness. I folded my arms. "We're all late for History of Magic by the way. How're you going to get out of that?"

"We won't," James shrugged. I raised an eyebrow doubtfully.

"We'll just skip," Sirius supplied. I rolled my eyes.

"You can't be serious,"

"Well, actually..." Sirius smirked.

"I did not mean that as a pun as you very well know," I snapped. "We can't skip,"

"Sure, we can. We just don't go to class," James said, blatantly, twirling his wand about with his fingers.

"Remus, surely you aren't on for this?" I asked, looking at him pointedly.

"I couldn't stop them if I tried," He said, tiredly. I frowned.

"Well, what do you suppose we do for the next hour? Study?" James scoffed.

"Of course not! We bloody well know how to have _fun_ thank you very much,"

"Then what—" I broke off as I heard voices in the corridor outside the curtain.

"Those idiot boys I suppose," A snippety toned voice said. Professor McGonagall no doubt. James and Sirius high-fived silently. I rolled my eyes, stood, and motioned for the group to follow me as I headed down the secret passage. We made our way through and popped out in the East wing, near the astronomy tower.

"What do you suppose we do now?" I hissed, folding my arms. James grinned at my acting. He knew I was amused.

"Let's go to the common room. The teachers won't find us in a place we shouldn't be,"

"We _should_ be in class," I said in a cutting tone.

"Ah, no matter," Sirius grinned, elbow on my shoulder. I shrugged him off and fell into stride next to Remus. We made our way to the commons as James and Sirius joked around, trying to annoy me further.

"Oracular," I said once we reached the Fat Lady's portrait. She swung open, admitting us to the common room. Completely empty, for everyone was in class. I claimed the couch, laying down, legs crossed, and pulled out a book from my bag. A new one. I had moved on from Shakespeare to Doyle. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to be exact. In other words, I was reading Sherlock Holmes.

"New book?" James asked, sitting by my feet. I looked up briefly.

"Yes," I turned a page.

"And what, might I ask, is the book?" James inquired, reclining, his arm across the head of the couch.

"Sherlock Holmes," I stated.

"Ooh, which one?" Remus asked, interested.

"A Study in Scarlet," I said. Remus nodded and went back to his own book. I glanced at the title. 'The Wind in the Willows'. A classic. One I had read many times.

"You seem to be really into murder lately," James said, eyebrow raised.

"Yes, I suppose I am," I turned another page. "I just haven't found anyone to practice on yet,"

_'This fellow may be very clever,” I said to myself, “but he is certainly very conceited.'_

Well, that sounded just like someone I knew, didn't it? I snorted and looked at my watch. Nearly half an hour since class had started. I was startled out of my contemplation.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, shaking my head. James smiled.

"D'you want to go on a date with me?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh, sorry. I'm already taken," I said. James jolted up.

"What?" He burst out. "Who—?"

"Taken for granted," I finished. He froze, then sank back into the cushions. Sirius was laughing, wiping fake tears from his eyes. He high-fived me. I smirked and raised an eyebrow at James who just shook his head.

"'bout gave me a heart attack, Love," He clutched his chest.

"Told you I needed someone to practice on," I smirked. He laughed and threaded his fingers through his hair, making it even more untidy and strangely windswept-looking. I returned to my book, although I didn't read. Instead, I let my thoughts run wild, but not in the way that a horse is a wild, the way that a running stream is wild. Not wild like a beast, wild like a leaf fluttering to the ground. Not wild like the way a snowstorm is, wild in the way that the sunlight reflects of ice. I felt myself drifting and drifting and drifting and drifting... my hand slipped from my book... I felt slow... and darkness.

(James POV)

I watched her drift away to sleep. Her hair draped over the end of the couch, her hand slipped off the cushion, dangling. Her book fell to her chest. Her toes curled in her sleep, her eyelashes fluttered.

Merlin, what was I doing? Obsessing, that's what, I scolded myself. But it's very hard not to feel the strings on your heart pull tight when you see a certain someone. And with what I had done a day ago? How obvious can you get? Although I am pretty obvious I suppose. Asking her out every chance I get. To my credit, she disarms me whenever I see her. She's just that beautiful and perfect and wonderful and smart and _herself._ I just see her and my mouth forms the words for me.

I counted the freckles on her cheeks and nose. Merlin, she was beautiful. I mentally shook my head. You gotta chill. Take it slowly, or you'll lose her.

I had seen her blushes. I had seen her secret laughs, her hiding her face when she didn't want me to see she was feeling things too. But then again, it could be my mind fabricating things again. I thought back to when she had punched me, teaching us to box. Believe it or not, that had not been the first time. In third year, she had given me a bloody nose for making a joke on the wrong side of someone. I had deserved it, no doubt, but it had really surprised me. And really impressed me. I had seen a new side of this girl, this gorgeous, somewhat sarcastic, prankster, nerd girl. Who I was in love with. She already had so many sides, I had no doubt she had more.

Merlin, she was pretty.

At the Halloween dance last year, she had gone as a dark angel. It had taken my breath away. I swear I almost passed out. She was brave as well. She had duelled Malfoy many more times than this year's and had won most of them. Insanely clever too. She had all O's in her classes, I was sure. Never without a book...

Ack, I was doing it again. I hastily turned away, adjusting my glasses. Sirius gave me one of his looks. I tried to look innocent, but I don't think 'innocent' and 'James Potter' work very well together. He just shook his head and went back to tossing a rubber ball up and down, catching it deftly each time. Rem was immersed in his book. It was another old one, one I probably had never heard of.

I sighed and glanced back at Iris. I was in too deep and I knew it. Oh well.

So strings the heart.


	13. Characteristics

I woke. Did I feel any different? I sat up and took in my surroundings. No. Hm. I got out of bed, skillfully treading so I wouldn't make noise and gazed out the window. Today was the first day when we should notice different characteristics relating to our animagus. The giant squid's shadow gleamed in the black lake. The sunlight glittered across the dewy grass. Blue-winged birds swooped through the trees in the Forbidden Forest. Had I been able to see that far before?

I prowled through our room making no noise and headed for the bathroom. I was always the first up, somehow. Grabbing my uniform from my trunk, I locked the door and changed swiftly. My ears prickled as I picked up the noise of someone turning in their bed. I felt myself tense up. They quieted again and I relaxed. I returned to the mirror and began combing through my hair. It felt glossy in my fingers and I decided to leave it down today. I felt a little bold today, so I decided to use some deep red lipstick. I smiled at the mirror and then made a funny face because one should never be too serious.

Strange that no one else seemed to be waking. I glanced at my watch. Six-thirty? That was a little earlier than usual. I shrugged and unlocked the door stepping out silently. I grabbed my bag, shoved my textbooks and other things into it and headed down to the common room. Halfway down the stairs and I picked up a smell. Evidentally, breakfast this morning was the usual. Eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes, sausage etc. My mouth seemed to water.

Waiting for me downstairs were four persons.

"You're all up early," I commented.

"It was rather strange. Normally I'm the first one up, but we all seemed to wake up at the same time," Remus raised an eyebrow. "Except for Peter,"

"Did any of you notice anything else that wasn't normal?" I asked as we all headed out the portrait hole.

"I could smell breakfast from our dorm," Sirius said, unbuttoning the top button of his collar and loosening his tie in his normal fashion.

"Same," I remarked.

"Also, I can hear a lot better and I seem to be more..." He gestured, unable to form the words.

"Alert?" I suggested. He nodded.

"Yes, exactly," He pointed at me. Lupin hmed.

"I'm guessing you two are similar animals," Lupin remarked. "Maybe we'll figure out more based on what you want to eat,"

"I don't feel a whole lot different," James said, biting his lip. I looked at him, inspecting.

"You have better posture," I noticed.

"I do?" He looked down at himself, as though trying to see the fact.

"She's right," Lupin said, looking at James too. "You're holding your head up straighter. And your shoulders are back,"

"What animal has good posture?" James wondered aloud.

"I don't think we're looking for an animal with good posture, more one that's regal or graceful I'm thinking," I tapped my finger to my chin.

"That makes a lot of sense actually," Remus remarked.

"I haven't noticed anything about me," Peter said, a concerned look on his face. We looked at him. I didn't really see anything that seemed unusual.

"Nothing?" I asked.

"Well, I smelled breakfast before Sirius did this morning. And I was more specific with the foods I smelled," Peter squeaked, nervously.

"True. I could only smell something meaty," Sirius said.

"Strange. I could identify what most of the food was," I said. We had reached the Great Hall and we sat down at the Gryffindor table. Not many people were awake but we still talked quietly. My stomach grumbled. Normally, I would've grabbed as many eggs and fried tomatoes as possible, but this morning I didn't feel keen. The bacon and sausage seemed to be screaming my name, however, and I piled my plate. Sirius did the same. I didn't pour myself my usual orange juice either. Just water. Unusual, definitely.

James seemed conflicted. He didn't seem to want anything.

"Meat?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"No, that feels wrong," He creased his brow,

"Eggs?"

"Not that either," He muttered, looking at everything on the table.

"What about fried tomatoes?" I held out the bowl to him.

"Hm, maybe—?" He thought for a moment. "I don't think so,"

"Not even toast?" I suggested. He shook his head defeatedly. I hmed and looked down the table, at anything I hadn't suggested yet. "What about oatmeal?" James' face seemed a flurry of emotion. James hated oatmeal. Loathed it, even.

"I guess so. It's the only thing my mind isn't screaming no to," He grimaced. "I hate oatmeal though,"

"Not anymore," I scooped some up for him into a bowl. "Berries?" He nodded. "Milk?" He paused.

"No. Put some honey in it though," He suggested. I did so and handed it to him. It took him a moment, but he began eating it with vigour. Peter was eating oatmeal too, what a strange morning. I glanced at Remus. He was very amused.

"Sirius, don't fall asleep here, it's suicide!" I hissed. Throughout this whole day, Sirius seemed to fall prey to naps, especially when his desk was right in the sunlight. Unfortunately, this was the case in Transfiguration. His eyelids seemed to droop and he slumped a little in his desk. I slapped him and he sat up straight. He gave me a disgruntled look but I just raised an eyebrow.

The bell was going to ring any minute now, anyway. I looked at James. Sitting straight up in his chair. Not normal. Peter wasn't much different. This whole thing was a little weird, I supposed. Our eating habits had basically stayed the same through lunch. James had a bowl of fruit, Sirus and I loaded up on more meat. Peter had a grilled cheese, which was weird. What animal eats grilled cheese?

I was jolted from my thoughts as the bell rang. I grabbed my bag and hurried out the door and into the hallway.

"Iris! Iris!" A voice called behind me. "Slow down, for Merlin's sake," Lily said, panting, running up to my side. "Good Lord, you're practically running through the halls!" She said.

"I am?" I tilted my head, confused.

"Yes, have you not noticed?" She shook her head. She kept talking, but I was still working out what she had said. I did seem a lot faster than normal, now that I thought about it. My normal five-minute walk to the Transfiguration classroom had seemed more like two minutes. What could that mean?

Jumping to an hour later, we all sat in the boys' dorm complaining about hunger. Our appetites had seemed to enlargen by a hundredfold today.

"Merlin save me," I groaned and sat up. "I'm going to the kitchens to get us all food. Anyone wanna come with?" James stood.

"Sure, why not?" He stretched his lanky frame.

"Anyone else?" I looked 'round. Sirius was laying face down on the floor, probably sleeping again. Peter was leaning against his bedpost.

"No, just bring us back stuff," Remus waved us away.

"Okay then," I said. "Come on, Potter," We headed out the portrait hall and through the hallway.

"This whole thing is so strange," James remarked. I nodded.

"It'll all be worth it though," I said.

"I still can't believe I ate a salad today and I _liked_ it," He laughed. I smiled.

"I still can't believe I've only eaten meat all day. This whole thing is just so unusual. You'd think since our animagus' are supposed to reflect us as beings, they'd reflect our food preferences, but no," I rolled my eyes and turned to him smiling.

"I still can't believe you managed to work out this entire plan, including making that potion," James winked at me.

"Oh, shame on you! Not thinking I'm clever enough to make a potion," I scoffed at him. We turned another corner and passed a portrait of monks playing cards.

"Oh, you're definitely clever enough," James laughed. "It's just, I can't imagine anyone else breaking the law like this to help a friend,"

"I'm a rebel, it's what I do," I elbowed him. He laughed and mussed his hair. Old habits never die. We reached the portrait of the bowl of fruit. James reached up and tickled the green pear. It stretched and morphed into a doorknob. He pulled it, and the portrait swung open like a door. Holding it open for me, he gestured inside.

"Brains before beauty," He winked. I rolled my eyes and stepped through.

"Oh please. I'm both," He let out a bark of laughter and stepped in behind me, shutting the door. We had entered a bustling kitchen, full of food, pots, pans, and elves.

"Hello," James greeted one of them. The elf bowed.

"Hello good Sir" He squeaked.

"Wassup Folly?" I winked at the elf.

"Hello, Miss Brooks, wonderful to see you again. How can we help you?" James seemed amused and surprised at the same time.

"Well, my friends and I just wanted to say how absolutely amazing all of your food has been this year, obviously," I winked at the elf. He grinned, happily.

"High praise, miss, high praise," He bowed, his pointed ears touching the floor.

"Also, we'd like some snacks if you don't mind," He smiled.

"The usual?" He squeaked. Already some elves were scurrying around, fetching food.

"No, not the usual, sorry. This is going to sound a little weird, but can we get some assortment of jerky, nuts, and berries? And a salad probably," I said. Folly raised an eyebrow but wasted no time in fetching the food. James sidled up to me.

"You know him?" He inquired.

"Of course, along with almost all the elves in here. Don't you, Potter?" I teased him. He shook his head, giving me an admiring look. I leaned against the wall, nonchalantly, watching the work of the elves.

"How'd you notice my posture changed?" James asked me, referring to this morning. I was slightly taken aback.

"I'm around you a lot, we're friends after all," I nodded at him. He leaned closer.

"No one else noticed,"

"I'm more observant," I said.

"Oh, observant are you?" He asked.

"Yes," I tilted my head. James had one hand on the wall and was leaning over me. He smirked.

"And what else do you 'observe' about me?" He leaned a fraction closer to my face. I was not phased.

"How incredibly annoying you are, and how you're arrogant, and how you cause trouble wherever you are," I bit my lip, smiling.

"Aw, be serious for a moment, will you?" He grinned. I stuck out my tongue.

"Fine. I notice your habits. How you're always running your fingers through your hair, how you're constantly adjusting your glasses, how you lean to the right when you stand, how you always have your hands in your pockets, how your eyes sparkle when you talk about Quidditch, how they dim when you're hiding something," I spoke. He watched me speak, eyes on my lips. "How you stand a little taller when someone gives you a compliment, how your lips curl at the end when you outsmart someone. Like now for instance," I said, glancing at his face. "Good enough for you?"

"Not really," He said, staring at me with an iron gaze.

"Too bad. I'm done talking," I could feel my cheeks warming. Much against my wishes.

"Do you want to know what I observe about you?" James asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, why not?" My fingers curled, behind my back. He smiled.

"When your thinking, your eyes seemed to look past everything as though it didn't exist. In class, you tap the tip of your quill against your lips, which sometimes leaves ink there. When you smile it doesn't always reach your eyes, but when it does they twinkle. When you're embarrassed or frustrated you let your hair fall into your face," I could feel my heart beating and my face turning pink. And yet I couldn't look away. "When you're nervous you run your tongue along your teeth. When you're feeling competitive like during quidditch or when you're boxing, your eyes go sharp and you ignore everything around you. When you're annoyed, your lips pucker slightly, and when you're focused you grit your teeth. You crack your fingers when you're standing or you're bored and you're always looking for something unusual about the things around you. You're constantly brushing away a strand of hair behind your ear. This one, actually,"

He reached up to my face and brushed the hair out of my face. He was incredibly close now, inches away. His elbow rested on the wall beside my head. The moment seemed to stretch. He leaned closer still. I bit my lip. I didn't even care that my face was red anymore. My heart pounded in my chest and my gaze flickered. His lips curled in the corner.

"Miss?" I jumped and sidled away from James.

"Y—yes, Folly?" I stuttered, purposely ignoring James who leaned his back against the stone, disappointedly.

"Your food is ready,"

"Ah. Great. Thank you," I said, taking the large brown paper bag from the elf. It was stuffed with snacks.

"Is that all you needed, Miss?" Folly asked, bowing again.

"Yes, that's all, thank you," Folly bowed once again, just for good measure and scurried away. I turned back to James. "Let's go, shall we?" Not waiting for an answer, I turned and pushed open the door and out into the hallway setting a brisk pace. James caught up and fell into step beside me. I readily ignored him. He grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers in with mine. I misstepped.

"What are you doing?" I scowled.

"Holding your hand," James said, cheerfully.

"Why?"

"Why not?" I pursed my lips, but to my own surprise, I did not take my hand from his. It was...nice.

We reached the portrait hole, all too soon I thought, and entered, running back up to the boys' dorm.

"Took you long enough!" Sirius grumbled, taking the bag from me and shaking out its contents. Baggies of fruit, nuts, and jerky plopped to the ground. Sirius immediately hoarded all the jerky.

"Hey! Save some for me," I said, snagging a couple from him. Sitting down against the wall, I pulled out my Charms essay and began working on it.

"What'cha doing?" James said, sitting down beside me, munching on his food. He looked at my parchment.

"Charms," I said. He nodded.

"Oh, yeah. I finished that last week,"

"You did? I didn't know you did homework," I teased him.

"Har har," He said, sarcastically. "For your information, I actually have reasonable grades. You have to if you want to be an Auror," My quill paused.

"You want to be an Auror?" I asked him. He nodded. "Why? Seems like a terrible job to me," My stomach clenched and I twiddled with my quill, anxiously. Angrily.

"Maybe, I just feel so restless not doing anything to help the fight against you-know-who. If I don't get to be an Auror, at least I'll be of good use to the Order of the Pheonix," He nodded, solemnly. I didn't reply but kept working on my paper adding line after line.

Hours passed, and the windows slowly darkened. I was getting a little tired, but I wasn't yawning yet. Peter and Sirius had fallen asleep hours ago. Remus wasn't asleep, but his hangings were drawn and I suspected he was reading. James had moved from my side to his bed. He was occupying himself with a snitch he had taken from the Quidditch supplies, letting it flutter away and then nabbing it at the last second. I glanced at my watch. Good Lord, it was almost midnight. Maybe my animagus was slightly nocturnal?

The only sounds that were heard were my quill scribbling across the parchment and James occasionally tapping his nails against the little snitch. I blinked tiredly and yawned. James glanced my way and got off his bed. He sat down next to me.

"You almost done?" He asked, conversationally.

"Almost," I said, blinking away the darkness.

"How close are you? Maybe you should finish it tomorrow," He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I slumped from exhaustion. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Ah, but I don't want to have homework tomorrow," I mumbled.

"Let's compromise. You work until you fall asleep and then you'll finish it tomorrow," He suggested. I lifted my head from his shoulder.

"Fine," I yawned. I got maybe another paragraph in when I moaned. "Gah, I can't focus," I curled up into James' arms, head on his chest. I was so tired I felt vaguely delirious. James held me tightly, and he was warm and safe...

"That's okay, just go to sleep now. You need it," My mind swam with delirium.

"Okay," I muttered. And slept.


	14. Tests and Assumptions

For a split second, I didn't know where I was. Oh. Right. But why was I in a bed? This was not where I had fallen asleep... then I saw James, slumped in a chair in the corner, arms crossed, and head back, fast asleep. Merlin, I was so _stupid._ I threw off the covers to James' bed and crept across the floor. My shoes and bag were at the foot of the bed. I grabbed them and trod carefully so as not to disturb anyone. I slipped through the door, wincing at the creak, and shut it softly behind me. I then sprinted toward my own dorm.

Merlin, what must the girls think? I bounced over the steps and reached their door. I turned the knob as silently as I could and slipped through. I glanced at the beds. They were all asleep. I breathed a silent sigh of relief. I looked down at myself. The uniform I had been wearing was a crumped in a dejected way. I was sure my hair wasn't much better. Thankfully, today was a half-day for fifth years so I didn't have to suffer for long. I grabbed one of my extra uniforms and tiptoed into the bathroom. Glancing at my watch, I realized it was 7:30. In a rush, I changed and was brushing my hair.

"Oi! You lot! We're going to be late!" I yelled, pushing open the door to the bathroom. A chorus of groans and mutterings erupted from the bed. "Language, girls," I said, smartly, pulling my hair into a bun. Lily was already up and about, rushing around, muttering about a faulty alarm clock. Mary was sitting up in her bed, blinking blearily. Marlene was tangled in her bed wrappings and fell to the floor with a 'flump'. Lily, already changed, bounced into the bathroom and began brushing her deep ginger hair.

"Where were you last night?" She asked, working out a particularly tenacious tangle.

"Studying with Remus. I lost track of time," I supplied. She didn't reply, too engaged in her mussed hair. I looked back into the bedroom. Mary was changing, and Merlene was sitting up in her ball of blankets, groaning, her hair a frizzy mess. I applied the small of makeup I actually used regularly and grabbed my cloak and bag. I draped the cloak over my bag because I didn't feel like wearing it just yet, and headed out. The girls would catch up. I rushed down into the common room, double-checking that I had all my supplies and ran into someone. Literally.

I took a step back and looked up into James' face. He grinned.

"I see you just can't stay away from me, Love," He said, wrapping an arm over my shoulder. I shook it off.

"Morning, Potter," I grumbled. I walked a bit faster as to catch up with Remus. "How can he be so annoying, just in the morning?" I asked him. He just smiled.

"Hey!" James called behind me. I ignored him. James rushed to catch up and all too soon he was at my side. Remus, with a smile I didn't know the meaning of, turned and began talking with Sirius. "So I was thinking again," He started.

"I really don't advise that," I said.

"Since today is a half-day, why don't we test out our new skills?" I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if we find some way to compare our animals skills, maybe we'll be able to guess what they are. We can hold little contests, like who runs fastest, who can smell furthest, etcetera," He said. I pondered that thought.

"Actually, that sounds reasonable, which is why I'm guessing Remus came up with that idea,"

"Oo, she's still too smart for you, mate," Sirius laughed. James glowered.

"Okay, so it was his idea, but I helped," James said, head held high.

"Sure, by telling Iris," Remus rolled his eyes. James continued to glower.

We reached the Great Hall and sat down. Sirius and I grabbed the usual bacon, sausage, and ham and James and Peter the oatmeal with berries. A few minutes later, and Lily, Mary, and Marlene trooped in. Lily was obviously annoyed and Mary was still rubbing her eyes. Marlene however, looked flawless as usual. They sat down, Lily to my left, Marlene across, and Mary beside her.

"What are you eating?" Lily asked, looking at my plate.

"Food," She gave me a look. "I already ate my eggs and toast," I lied.

Four hours later, and I was out of my uniform and in jeans, a sweatshirt, and converse outside the castle with the rest of the Marauders. It was slightly rainy outside and very cold.

"C-couldn't we have done th-this inside?" Peter asked, shivering. I looked over at him and noticed the misty raindrops on my eyelashes.

"No," Remus answered. "We need to see if your animal can regulate body heat. Also, we can't measure the tests as accurately inside," Peter and Remus seemed to be the only ones shivering. Sirius and I seemed perfectly fine, while James was slightly chilly. Remus marked something on his clipboard. "Alright, I guess we can do the running test first," Remus suggested.

We lined up in a row. I was between Sirius and James, Peter was beside Sirius. Our goal was to run to the far tree by the black lake, turn around, and come back. Remus would be supervising from a broom. We took our stances.

"One, two, three, GO!" Remus yelled. I took off. Sirius and I took an immediate lead. James was a foot or two behind us, but that distance was becoming larger. I didn't know where Peter was. Ever so slowly I crept ahead of Sirius, gaining ground. In no time flat, I had reached the tree and was turning around. Sirius was now a few feet behind me, James further away from him, and Peter was still halfway to the tree. I felt a burst of speed and sprinted the rest of the way to the finish line, and turned around to see where everyone else was.

Sirius was two-thirds done, James had slowed down considerably, only one-third the way to the end, and Peter was barely reaching the tree. I took a breath and was surprised to feel almost no exhaustion. Sirius reached the end and high-fived me. He was panting a bit and we waited for James and Peter to reach the end. James got there not even out of breath. Peter managed to get to the end but collapsed on the ground right when he got there. Remus flew down to meet us, looking at his notes.

"Okay. Okay... So Iris was fastest obviously. Sirius and she were together for most of the first part, but she got ahead of him after the tree," Again Sirius and I high-fived. "James was much faster in the beginning than he was at the end, but he was considerably slower than you two," Remus pointed at Sirius and me again. "Peter was actually really fast in the first few meters or so, but very quickly slowed down,"

"So I'm guessing Sirius and I are some sort of canine or feline," I said, gesturing between us. "Probably canine because we both kept the same speed throughout. James is something that is normally considered prey because prey is almost always slower than predators but can run for longer. He wasn't even tired when he finished," I looked at Peter, eyebrow raised. "And I'm not positive, but I think Peter is either something that flies or something small that doesn't cover long distances," Remus nodded.

"My thoughts exactly. Now we need to do a smell test," Remus reached into his bag and pulled out a blindfold. "Who wants to go first?"

Eventually, after losing a wand spin three times in a row, James allowed himself to be blindfolded. Sirius kept tickling him at random moments.

"For Merlin's sake, stop it!" James yelled for the umpteenth time, trying to hit him. Sirus dodged, laughing maniacally.

"Stop Sirius," Remus admonished and pulled out a plate full of cut something from a bag that I presumed was created to disguise smell. "What is this James?" He held it under his nose.

"Um..." James sniffed. "Oh, ginger," He lifted the blindfold off his eyes. Remus made a tally on his clipboard.

"Put that back on, there's more stuff," James groaned a bit but re-tied the cloth. Remus pulled out some uncooked bacon. "What's this?" James sniffed. HIs mouth turned crooked.

"A type of meat," He said.

"Can you elaborate?" Remus asked, tilting his head. James took another deep breath.

"Hm. I don't think so,"

"It was bacon," Remus said and pulled a cut pumpkin from his bag. "Try this,"

"Easy, pumpkin," James said. Remus tried a few more things including ground beef, frog legs, strawberries, and pine needles. Finally, James was done. He pulled off the blindfold with a huff and mussed up his hair. He handed me the blindfold. I tied it over my eyes and immediately felt a surge from my other senses. The hair on the back of my neck seemed to stand up. My hearing seemed to pick up everything and my smell was certainly heightened. I heard someone creep up on my right.

"Don't you dare, Sirius," I huffed. He laughed quietly and came around to the left. "I said stop," I said and slapped his arm. He stepped away. Remus chuckled and I heard him come up to me.

"Alright. What's this, Iris?" I sniffed whatever he was holding. It definitely smelled like meat, but a light kind of meat, watery sort of.

"Fish?" I guessed.

"Yes, can you guess the species?" Remus asked. I scoffed. I didn't know fish species. I took another sniff anyway and racked my brain.

"Trout," I said with more certainty than I felt.

"Right again," I heard Remus pull out a new item. I smelled it. Not meat, but something watery-ish again. Watermelon? No, it wasn't sweet smelling. It was sort of... starchy.

"Corn. Yellow corn," I said.

"Correct," Remus said. "And this?" This item was a meat. What kind though? It smelled a bit like steak, though it wasn't cooked. It was not a cow steak though, probably something more... unusual. It wasn't veal or any kind of sheep.

"Venison," I said. "Not very fresh either. Has this been frozen?" My nose crinkled.

"Actually, yes. Great job," This continued for a while. I had to go through cranberries, peanuts, pig feet, which are just as disgusting as they sound, and pickles. Eventually, everyone got through their food and Remus looked at his notes.

"So..." He paced. "James was better at identifying the plants. He barely ever got the meats right. Iris was good at pretty much everything, but she was more specific with the meats, Sirius was much better at getting the meats and nothing else. Peter got the cheese right, as well as the plants. He didn't get any meats right. Basically, what your eating patterns are, excepting Iris," He pointed his quill at me.

We did a few other tests. Hearing, how far we could smell, and sight. Remus was constantly keeping track of the outcomes on his clipboard. Eventually, we finished and we headed back inside and toward their dorm to figure out the results. I sidled up to Remus. He was flipping through the pages on his clipboard, humming along.

We quickly reached the portrait hole and ran up to their dormitory. Remus sat down in the middle of the room. I sat next to him, inspecting his notes. Unfortunately, it was in shorthand which was a skill I had yet to learn so I didn't understand most of what was on the page.

"So..." Remus started. "James, your animal is regal, prey, herbivore, something that can stand cold, something that has a basic sense of smell, something that can sense when something is coming a little more than half the time, probably wild, and probably a mammal. Anyone got any ideas?" We all thought for a minute or so.

"I can't think of any animal that is necessarily 'regal'," I said. Sirius nodded.

"Yeah, same,"

"Well, let's move on then. Peter. Your animal is something small or something that flies, something that has a really good sense of smell and hearing, and is mostly herbivore. It eats cheese, so that leads me to believe it may be slightly domesticated,"

"Sounds like a mouse to me," I said.

"Oh, that makes sense," James nodded and adjusted his glasses.

"Or maybe a bug or something," Remus suggested. "Now, Sirius, your animal is a carnivore, it's fast, it has a really good sense of smell and hearing, and is most likely a predator. Because you're slower than Iris, you might be slightly domesticated too,"

"Cat," I said. Sirius wrinkled his eyebrows.

"Maybe. He doesn't share a lot of personality traits with Professor McGonagall though. Remember, personality has a huge thing in this too," Remus pointed out. "Anyway, let's move on to the most confusing one; Iris,"

"Oh great, sounds promising," I said, sarcastically. Remus just smiled.

"Your animal is a carnivore but can identify all foods, even the plants. You can run faster than Sirius, so you're probably not domesticated, probably a wild animal, you have an amazing sense of smell and can see very far. You're hearing is amazing, and I'm guessing you have claws because, during the hearing test, you would lash out with your fingers curled," Remus curled his own fingers, showing me what it had looked like.

"Sounds canine to me," James said. "Maybe you're the lion,"

"I dunno, when you said claws I sorta thought eagle or something,"

"It doesn't sound like you fly though because you're fast on the ground," Remus said, double checking his notes. We sat around, debating for a few hours as to what our animal could be until it grew very late.

"I've got to go," I said, glancing at my watch. "I still have the rest of that Charms assignment to do. G'night," I stood and headed out the door.

"Go on a date with me, Brooks?" James asked as I stepped out.

"No," I said, shortly, and closed the door.


	15. Misdeeds

“You’re hanging out with those boys a lot now,” Lily said. I dotted the last sentence on my parchment.

“Well, yes. We are friends,” I said. She sighed.

“I know that, but— ah,” She shook her head. “More than you used to,” I kept my silence for a moment.

“How about this; the last Hogsmeade visit is this weekend. We’ll hang out then before winter break,” Lily smiled.

“That works. Why are you staying at Hogwarts this break, again?”

“Eh, no reason in particular. O.W.L.s,” I shrugged. “Other stuff,” Lily pursed her lips but said nothing.

The bell rang. I grabbed my papers and inkwell and shoved them in my bag. Lily and I walked to Potions, talking together. Mary and Marlene joined us as we reached the door. We all sat down near each other and began chatting. Professor Slughorn was bustling about, setting up and getting ready for class.

As the classroom slowly filled Marlene mentioned something I had momentarily forgotten about.

"What are you all going to wear to the Christmas party?" She said inspecting her nails. Ah yes, I had forgotten. The Christmas party. Hosted by Slughorn of course. There was one every year and I still needed a dress.

"Probably that green dress I bought a month ago," Lily said. "With the gold heels too,"

"Which ones?" Marlene asked.

"The pumps," Marlene nodded.

"I'm wearing either that short red dress with the Louboutins or the gold with the black laced pair," Marlene said. Mary cooed.

"You should do the red, it's super cute," Mary suggested. "I might do something blue or purple. I haven't bought mine yet,"

"What're you wearing, Iris? The black? I heard Potter really liked that one..." She raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"I'm not wearing anything because _Potter_ likes it. I might borrow that other green one you have Lily if you don't mind," If we're being honest, I didn't own many dresses and I wasn't sure I could afford to buy a new one.

"Sure," Lily said. She then tilted her head. "Actually, you can have it. I just bought that other green one and plus you look better in it," I smiled.

"Thanks, Lils!"

"No problem," She winked at me.

The classroom was full at this point and as the last bell rang Professor Slughorn stood in front of the class.

"Alright, class. Today we're going to be brewing a forgetful potion. You're going to need the ingredients in this cabinet," He flicked his wand with a slight swish and the cabinets on the far wall snapped open. "The instructions are in your textbook on page 857..." He continued droning on. I looked around the classroom, searching for a certain group of boys who I had missed walking in.

I turned my head. They didn't seem to be in here... there they were. Just coming in, and definitely late. The Professor didn't see them, he was facing the other way. Some other kids had spotted them and were giggling quietly. As the Professor kept talking, James and Sirius made silly faces and crept up to the only empty seats in the class, Remus and Peter following. They reached the seats just as Slughorn turned. He eyed them but kept lecturing.

James turned in his seat, looking around the classroom, searching for someone. He spotted me and winked. I rolled my eyes and flipped him the bird. He just grinned and turned back around. Slughorn had finished his speech and class commenced.

I flipped open my textbook to the correct page number and set my cauldron on the burner. I looked over the instructions.

Recipe

Part 1

  1. Add 2 drops of Lethe River Water to your cauldron
  2. Gently heat for 20 seconds
  3. Add 2 Valerian sprigs to your cauldron
  4. Stir 3 times, clockwise
  5. Wave your wand
  6. Leave to brew and return in 45-60 minutes



Part 2

  1. Add 2 measures of Standard Ingredient to the mortar
  2. Add 4 mistletoe berries to the mortar
  3. Crush into a medium-fine powder using the pestle
  4. Add 2 pinches of the crushed mixture to your cauldron
  5. Stir 5 times, anti-clockwise
  6. Wave your wand to complete the potion



It seemed simple enough. I got to work, rolling up my sleeves and following the instructions. Soon enough, I had a silver-purple liquid swirling around in my cauldron. I set the burner to low and wiped my sweating forehead. It was stifling in the classroom with all the potions and steams and fire. I could almost feel my hair frizzing up from the humidity. I looked over the instructions again just to double check that I had done everything correctly when a BANG erupted from somewhere to my left.

I looked over that steams and vapours trying to see what had occurred. People were beginning to laugh.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS POTTER!" A voice yelled. I finally caught a glimpse of what had happened. Severus Snape stood next to his cauldron, which was now empty, dripping with what had been his potion. HIs face was red and he was glaring vehemently at the messy-haired James who was attempting to look innocent. He was failing terribly. Sirius was on the ground next to him, overcome with laughter.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor and a detention to you both, Mr Potter, Mr Black," Professor Slughorn sighed. "Alright, Mr Severus lets take you to the hospital and check with Madame Pomfrey. I'm not entirely sure of the effects of this potion on skin," And out marched a dripping Snape and a tired Professor. "Miss Evans, Mr Lupin, you're in charge until I come back. Finish your potions everyone,"

As soon as he left, James barked with laughter.

"D'you see his face? Ah, it never gets old," James wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. Sirius had finally gotten up from the ground.

"You twat, Potter," I called from the back of the classroom. Lily gave me a look but she didn't say anything. I leaned back in my chair, feet propped up on the table, arms crossed.

"And why am I a twat, Love?" He asked, sweetly. The class was beginning to take attention to our banter.

"Take a wild guess," I said, lilting my chin.

"What? You don't think he deserved it?" James turned his chair around, sitting on it backwards, arms rested on the back. I smiled.

"Oh, no. He definitely deserved it. You're just a twat," Giggles waved about the classroom. I raised an eyebrow.

"Yet you won't tell me why," James shook his head in mock sadness.

"Because you're a moron, you're obnoxious and you're arrogant. Not mention, the only way you can pull off a really spectacular prank is with my help," An assortment of 'Ooo's and 'Burn's snaked around the classroom. Giggles ensued.

"All true," James nodded. He was smiling with that stupid smile of his. His eyes glinted. "However, I could stop if you really wanted,"

"Perfect. Effective immediately," I interrupted him. James raised a finger.

"But," He paused for effect. "Only if you go with me to the Christmas party," I laughed and looked down at my crossed arms. Laughter was rifling through the classroom and a chorus of 'again?'s and 'just do it already's was audible. I looked down at him again, silent, smirking. The class quieted down again.

"Unfortunately," I said. "I can't afford that price. I do apologize," I placed a hand on my heart, pretending to feel sorry. 'Aww's and 'Boo's echoed through the crowd.

"Go with me, Brooks!" Fabian Prewett called. The room laughed. I snapped a finger gun at him.

"Not for sale," I said. He pretended to pout. "I'm sorry, Potter. You're going to have to go with your actual girlfriend," I gestured at Sirius. "Or wait. Is he going with the blond Prefect down there?" Remus laughed as Sirius put an arm around his shoulders and snapped me a finger gun. James was still smiling and the class was still laughing. "In any case, I'm not going with you. Maybe buy me flowers next time and we'll see,"

The bell rang and the class rushed to gather their stuff. I stuffed my textbook in my bag, corked a vial of the potion I had made, and vanished the rest. I labelled my vial and placed it on Professor Slughorn's desk. I walked out the door, and as expected, James was leaning against the wall outside and joined my side. He draped an arm over my shoulder. I blew a hair out of my face in annoyance.

"You looked a little jealous of Fabian, Potter. He your next target?" I teased. He laughed.

"Might be. I'mma have to wait until after winter break, there's simply no time to plan a proper one," He grinned down at me.

"Honestly, your middle name should be Fool, not Fleamont," I shook my head.

"And your middle name should be In Love With James Potter because you obviously are,"

"Doesn't have a very good ring to it," I retorted. He laughed and adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses.

"You're not denying it," James said in a sing-song tone.

"I've been denying it for years. I thought you'd gotten the point by now," I shrugged off his arm. "Anyway, I must be going. Lily is probably wondering where I am," James bowed, mockingly.

"Return to me soon, my love," He put a hand over his heart.

"Good _bye_ , Potter," I called behind me, moving quickly through the student-clogged hallway. I found Lily in the Common Room, sitting at one of the tables with Mary and Marlene. I sat down next to them.

"Where were you?" Mary asked. "We lost you outside the Potions room."

"I got held up by Potter again," I rolled my eyes and draped my bag over the shoulder of the chair. "What were you talking about?"

"Dates for the Christmas party," Lily supplied.

"Ah, who's been asked out?" Mary and Lily raised their hands. "Who?"

"I'm going with Leon Bryce," Lily said.

"That Hufflepuff boy?" Marlene asked. Lily nodded.

"He asked me just yesterday. Super cute, he bought me flowers!" We all cooed.

"Alright, spill it, Mary," I said. She flushed and bit her lip.

"Gideon Prewett," We all shrieked. She laughed.

"No way! Oh my gosh, that's adorable," Lily clapped.

"Congrats, Mary! When did he ask you?" I asked. She was very pink now.

"A week ago,"

"And you didn't even tell us?" Marlene asked incredulously.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Mary laughed.

"That's why Fabian tried to ask me; his twin has a date and he doesn't," I realized.

"You should take him up on that offer," Lily said. I shook my head.

"Nah, I'm probably going to go stag, to be honest," The three girls gave each other knowing looks which I ignored.

Just then, a boy walked up to the table. He was handsome. He looked a bit older than us and looked purposeful. Marlene eyed him with a look I could not decipher.

"Hey, Marlene," He said, confidently.

"Sup, Georgie," she said. Her stature had completely transformed. She looked vaguely sultry and flirtatious. She spoke slowly, hypnotizingly. This was not a mood I was unused to, this was her persona. Everyone else except for her closest friends saw her this way; confident, flirtatious, and sexy.

"Will you go with me to the Christmas Party?" He pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and a box wrapped in ribbon. She took the box from him and opened it. Inside was a beautiful silver necklace that certainly _looked_ expensive. She smiled.

"Of course, George! How could I refuse?" She smiled and bit her lip in a way that riled boys up.

"Great! Oh, and here. These are yours too," He handed her the flowers and winked. She winked back and he walked away. Other boys who were in the vicinity seemed to shrink a little bit, disappointedly. Marlene closed the box and placed it in her bag.

Lily, Mary, and I were raising our eyebrows. Marlene just rolled her eyes.

"What?"

"Whatever happened to Jack from last week?" Lily asked. Marlene shrugged.

"He couldn't keep up," She said simply.

"That makes how many boy's hearts that you've shattered?" I inquired. She pretended to count her fingers.

"Who knows at this point?" She smiled, silkily.

"That makes you the only one without a date, Iris," Mary said. It was my turn to shrug.

"I'm going with me, myself, and I," I tilted my chin up.

"Not if Potter has anything to say about it," Lily muttered.

"He doesn't," I said, smartly.


	16. Animagi

I sat up. Today was the day. Merlin, I had to find the boys. I jumped out of bed with the dexterity of an Olympic pole jumper and got dressed in a minute flat. I was out the door in a matter of minutes, uniform crinkled slightly and hair flying out behind me. My bag thudded against my leg as I ran up the stairs to the boys' dorm. I burst in, not even knocking. James was combing his hair in the mirror, Remus stood in the corner, tapping his shoe and already dressed. Sirius had no shirt on. He was hopping around, attempting to pull on his pants.

I ignored him and his heart-patterned boxers and stepped in front of Peter. He was sitting on the end of his bed, blearily rubbing his eyes. He fell over when I snapped in his face.

"Get up! Today's the day," I glanced back at him. I did not see Peter. Instead, I saw a rat and I shrieked.

"Calm down!" James said. "It's only a rat, I thought you weren't afraid of those?" He came over and wrapped an arm around my waist. I ignored this.

"I'm not," I said, hotly. I picked up the rat in my hands. "It's Peter. This is his animagus!" The rat looked at me in utter surprise.

"No bloody way. Peter did it first?" Sirius leaned over, having finally gotten in pants on. He cursed. "I wanted to be first!" Remus had come over too and gently took the rat from me.

"Wow. Great job Peter," He levelled the animal with his eyes. "You are Peter, aren't you?" The rat nodded its head and ran around in circles on Remus' palms. "Do you know how to turn back?" He asked. The rat did what looked like a shrug. "I'm going to set you down and try to turn back, got it?" The rat nodded again and Remus set him down.

Seconds passed as Peter attempted to turn back. His little nose was screwed up in concentration and his claws tapped against the floorboards. And then, Peter was there back in human form. James clapped him on the back.

"Congrats, Peter! How'd you do it?" Peter shrugged, nervously.

"I dunno. It happened really fast," I remembered something.

"I startled you. I snapped in your face. Maybe the sudden nature of me scaring you triggered your body to immediately assume its animal form," I suggested. Remus nodded.

"That makes a lot of sense. I read a few books on the subject and that happened quite a bit. If you scare someone who is an animagi, sometimes they just suddenly turn into their animagus,"

"James. You thinking what I'm thinking?" Sirius grinned.

"'Course I am, mate," They high fived.

"Don't you dare go and prank McGonagall," I warned. Sirius rolled his eyes and James laughed.

"Don't act like you don't wanna do it now," Sirius pointed a finger at me. I just smiled.

"Alright, do we have everything ready?" Remus asked.

We were skipping class today. Normally, I would not tolerate such a thing but we didn't want to risk accidentally turning into our animal in class. That could only end in disaster. Instead, we were taking a book's advice and surrounding ourselves with the atmosphere our animals would normally be in. In our case, the only thing we could manage was the Forbidden Forest. We wouldn't be going far in, just enough to immerse ourselves in the trees.

"Yup," Said James. He held out a bag chock full of food since we wouldn't be leaving the forest until we had transformed. A normal transformation could be expected to happen anytime between a couple hours and five days. We were hoping for the best and that we would all transform in one day. In fact, we were all in a contest. Peter had already taken the first ballot, but that left three to be taken and no one wanted last.

"Alright, let's mosey then," I said. "Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"Get a shirt on, for Merlin's sake,"

"Why? Getting distracted?" He flexed and winked.

"Getting disgusted," I retorted. James let out a bark of laughter.

"Hey, don't get cocky. At least I have abs, tubby," Sirius poked him in the stomach. James laughed and shoved his hand away.

"I have abs! Iris can testify," He wrapped his arm around my waist again and pulled me close. I almost blushed.

"When has she seen you shirtless?" Sirius said, trying to call bluff.

"You want to tell him, Love?" James said, winking at me. I folded my arms.

"Not really," I said. Sirius laughed.

"Alright, let me assume the worst then, that's a great idea," I grumbled.

"We work out together. He happens to work out shirtless. There you go," It was true. Ever since I had walked in on him in the gym the time I wanted to box, we had inadvertently run into each other every time after. Eventually, we had just decided to keep it going. James was happier about it than I was, but it was good sometimes. We talked about Quidditch a lot. That was nice.

Sirius laughed. James wrapped both arms around me and kissed my head. I shoved him away and blushed.

Merlin.

We had set up 'camp' as James called it, a few yards into the forest. There were so many trees, we couldn't even see the castle. We had eaten a bit already since breakfast had long passed and we were currently relaxing a bit. Peter was practising turning into his animal and turning back over and over again. I was reading a book, a new one, called 'Islands in the stream'. It was by Ernest Hemmingway and I must say, I rather liked his writing style.

There was not a lot to do in this forest as we had quickly discovered. The only things we could do were try to transform and read. And three of our number had not brought books.

All we knew about transformation is that it could happen via scare or you just had to concentrate really hard. That was the summation of at least twenty books on Animagi. Which was frustrating. I didn't understand what to concentrate on. On being an animal? How does one accomplish that? I looked over at Sirius who was sitting on a fallen log. His eyebrows were furrowed and his fingers rested on his temples. He was quietly muttering something. I turned my gaze to James who almost looked like he was asleep except for the fact that he too was muttering something incomprehensible.

I sighed and stuck a bookmark in my book. Sitting up, I closed my eyes and rested my fingers on my temples. And I sat there.

Absolutely nothing happened.

Which shouldn't have been frustrating at that point, but I was particularly cross just then. I cursed over and over in my head. 

"Merlin," I groused. I would not let anyone else beat me. If I couldn't be first I vowed I would be at least the second. No way I would lose to James or Sirius. Absolutely no way. I simply wouldn't allow it.

I heard a small pop. I opened my eyes.

"Eff you Sirius Black!" I screamed. A large black dog was sitting on its haunches in the exact place Sirius had been moments before. It grinned its large canines at me and bounded over, setting its head in my lap. I pet him frustratedly.

"Merlin!" James cursed. He kicked the stump he had been sitting on.

"Merlin, you're adorable," I stated disgruntedly to the smug dog in front of me.

"Gosh, he is," James said, annoyed. He pet him anyway. The dog jumped on him and licked his face. A moment later, he transformed back into Sirius and he pinned James to the ground. They wrestled for a bit. I scuffed the ground. Third. I would be third.

Hours passed. Neither James nor I had managed to transform yet. James had acquired a peculiar tactic. He kept poking me and annoying me trying to get me to attack him and hopefully trigger something. I was laid out on a fallen log, hands entwined across my stomach, eyes closed. I breathed slowly. I had no idea if what I was doing was helping, but I was doing it. Something poked me in the stomach.

"Don't try me, Potter," I said. Nothing. He poked me again. "I am going to commit first-degree murder," He tickled me and snickered. "You're dead!" I jumped up and wrapped my arm around his neck in a chokehold, something that was particularly difficult, considering he was at least eight inches taller than me. He picked me up like in piggyback, laughing. I jumped off and shoved him to the ground. He was still laughing.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are when you're angry?" He winked.

"Have I ever told you how annoying you are all the time?" The last word came out in a growl. My eyesight seemed to distort for a moment and suddenly I was at a shorter level. My throat was making a noise I could not make in human form. I bounded over him, rested a grey paw on his chest, and bared my teeth. James actually looked scared. His arm was out, as though he was trying to protect himself and he was attempting to back away.

I stopped growling and took my paw off his chest. I ran around our camp like a puppy, but I didn't feel like a puppy. Or even a dog. I was stronger. Much stronger. Sirius had transformed and was running around with me, jumping on me and wrestling.

After a few minutes of me enjoying my victory over James, I transformed back into my human form. Remus was gaping at me in large surprise.

"So? What am I? It's sort of hard to tell when you're the animal," I put my hands on my hips.

"You're... well, you're a wolf," He said. I blinked in surprise. A wolf. _Wicked._

"Hey, that means we're both wolves now!" I sat down next to Remus. He half smiled. I elbowed him.

"Merlin!" James kicked the tree again. Harder. He jumped around on one foot for a moment, massaging the offending limb. "That means I'm last," He grumbled.

"Sure does! Make it quick though, Potter. I'd like to make it to supper tonight now that I can eat normally," He sat back on his stumped and concentrated.

And concentrated.

And concentrated.

And still, nothing happened. Hours passed. Sirius was napping as a dog in a ray of sunshine on the forest floor. I had been practising turning into and wolf and back again for the past hour. I was taking a break, reading Hemmingway's novel again. James was still in the corner. I heard a quiet snore. He had fallen asleep. I looked up at him and sat his head against a tree behind him, mouth open, and arms limp. It was sort of cute. I debated waking him up.

But, then again, maybe the sleep could help. I returned to my book. A few more minutes passed. Remus was reading his book. I couldn't see the cover but it was a beautiful red colour. I noticed James' snoring had stopped. I looked up from my book again and my brain took a moment to register what I was seeing.

A large deer lay curled up and asleep in the place James had just occupied. My mouth dropped open. I jumped up.

"James! You did it!" The deer startled awake. I ran up to it. "Potter, look down at yourself," I said. It did so and its eyes seemed to widen. He stood and swung his antlers around. He bounded around in an epiphany of elegance. Sirius was laughing.

"Leave it to James to transform in the laziest way possible," Everyone laughed at that. James transformed back into his human form.

"Merlin, this is amazing. I'm guessing I was a deer?" He said.

"A stag, a wolf, a dog, and a rat," Remus shook his head. "I couldn't have guessed it," James gasped.

"Y'know what we should have? Nicknames! Like code names we can call ourselves so that people won't know but we're still talking about it right in front of them," He jumped around.

"That sounds stupid," I said.

"That sounds brilliant!" Sirius said, and high-fived James. "I wanna be Snuffles,"

"Actually, it's not a bad idea," Remus said. "We wouldn't have to be so vague when we talked about it. We could just use code words,"

"Let's at least make them intelligent nicknames with hidden meaning behind them. Not something stupid like Snuffles," I said gesturing at Sirius. Remus nodded and Sirius pouted.

"Yes. I completely agree,"

"Yay! Nicknames!" James jumped up and down.


	17. Quite (un)sure

Code names. James had been throwing ideas about for what seemed like a millennium and yet couldn´t decide on one. As they grew increasingly more ludicrous we opted to help him before we got stuck with something like 'ǵlimmer'.

"Like your fur!" James had told me. I told him that my fur does not glimmer and even if it did there was no way I was going with a nickname like that. Upon this proclamation, he had screwed his brows up in concentration. "Shine!" He exclaimed causing Madame Pince to glower down her nose at him and me to assist him in his nickname assigning.

I had never researched anything so thoroughly. We ran through lists full of possible nicknames and yet none seemed to fit. They were either too short, too long, too many vowels, too many consonants, too everything. Sometimes we just couldn't even imagine ourselves calling each other the names. Fang, Beorthwulf, Hoof, Aporia, Colo, Luna, Odyessy, and plenty of others. It was quite frankly annoying. We already had managed to pick one out for Remus. Moony had come so easily and it was so catchy. We could all imagine calling him it. Needless to say, it stuck and we had our first name, even though Remus pointed out it had nothing to do with the history of werewolves whatsoever.

We were now on James' code name.

"We could just call you antlers," I suggested to James who shook his head.

"Doesn´t have a good ring to it," He said. "Maybe another word for antlers could work?" Remus thumbed through a book that had a diagram of a deer skull on the front. The library was full of students studying for their last exams of the year, so we were sitting on the floor in between shelves. Books and papers and manuscripts were stacked around all five of us. Some piles so tall, they towered over our heads.

"Crown? Royal? Tine? Coronet? Burr? Umm... I dunno all these terms aren't really nickname material," Remus muttered, shuffling through an assortment of age-worn papers.

"Are you kidding? Royal sounds amazing!" James said excitedly.

"No way are we doing that," I said. James frowned and pushed his glasses up his nose.

"Why not?"

"Your head is already big enough," I rolled my eyes. Remus snorted and James shook his head.

"Fair enough," James said, grinning. "But do you have any other ideas?" I frowned, thinking hard.

"What about prongs?" I suggested. All five of us thought, running the name through our heads, imagining the word as a nickname. Remus nodded.

"That works," He said and wrote it down on a spare piece of parchment. The other two came almost as easily. Wormtail from the most obvious reason, his tail sort of looks like a worm, to the history of the man/rat myth from Greece that supposedly could be lured using worms. Padfoot because of his padded feet and also because of the story of the quiet man who ran around stealing from houses in Latvia who was never caught but was said to have a loyal dog at his side. The myth was called Padding Footsteps.

But then there was me. I was more difficult. We couldn't do Moony because that was already taken but I refused to be called anything near Glimmer or Shine or whatever crazy ideas James suggested. I researched thoroughly the terms for their fangs and claws and anything else I could think of. Howl was an idea that was tossed around but I rejected because it had no history around it. Dart was another one because of how quickly I moved through the trees which I also disregarded for the same reasons.

Louve is the Norman term for wold girl. Disgarded because James was having way too much fun pronouncing it like Love.

Mirage was one for the same reasons as Dart. Disgarded because it would be weird calling someone that.

Canine. No. Just...no.

Blaidd was interesting. It was the Welsh term for wolf. Put on hold because I didn't like it much.

Loki maybe? Because of the Norse god who caused mischief which is definitely something I do. Disgarded because, well, it is a boy's name technically.

We thought about just going with Moon, but it sounded too much like Moony.

And then, Remus stumbled across something.

"What about Rome?" He suggested.

"As in Roam like moving around or as in the country?" I asked, looking over at his shoulder at the page he was pointing to.

"The latter. Rome was said to have been created by Romulus and Remus and they were supposedly raised by wolves," He said, re-reading the page. I hm-ed. it wasn't bad, it was just short.

"What about Roman? It sounds better to me," I said. Remus agreed, nodding his head.

"Fine with me," He wrote it down on the page. 'Roman'. There was my code name. James gasped and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, excitedly.

"It's a pun!" He yelled. I extruded myself from his arms.

"It is?" I asked, adjusting my bun that was now mussed up.

"Yes! Roman, roaming? It's perfect," He looked so pleased with himself for figuring that out I almost couldn't come up with a sassy retort.

"And just how much brain power did it take you to figure that out, Potter?" I asked eyebrow raised. He smirked.

"Uh uh, it's Prongs now, Love," He snuck his hand around my waist. I put my arm on his and smiled putting my face closer to his. His breath hitched and I mentally fist pumped.

"Uh uh, it's Roman now, Prongs," I murmured and in one swift motion, took his hand off my waist, stood, and left the room, enjoying the snickers trailing behind me.

"Merlin, it's freezing!" I griped as we trudged our way through the snow to Hogsmeade. Marlene and Lily agreed beside me.

"Just wait 'til we get to the Three Broomsticks. Imagine the butterbeer in your hand," Mary yelled over the freezing wind. I pulled my collar tighter around my neck and squinted through the snow to see the lights of Hogsmeade looking oh so far away.

It took a few minutes to reach Hogsmeade where the buildings spared our faces from most of the wind and just a few more minutes to get to the Three Broomsticks. It wasn't chock-full of people like normal, most students didn't want to risk the cold today, but it still had a good amount of people.

We shook the snow off us and hung up our coats, hats, mittens, and scarves on the brass coathanger right beside the door. We filled it almost completely with our hangings. As we gazed around looking for a seat two familiar face popped out and greeted us.

"Afternoon ladies," Gideon said with a wink, Fabian beside him. We chorused our hellos. Gideon had already wrapped his arm around Mary and kissed her on the cheek making her blush her already pink cheeks. Fabian bit his lip and looked me up and down sneakily. Obviously teasing. Teasing back I snapped and pointed my fingers to my eyes, making the joke 'eyes up here'. He grinned and we all sat down at a large corner booth. I was in front of Fabian who was now making faces in my general direction.

"It's absolutely freezing out there," Lily said, shivering, trying to warm up. We all nodded.

"Glad to see you all braved through it though," Gideon said. He was sitting beside Mary and couldn't look happier.

"I am too. That castle's just felt so smothering this week. Boring, and repetitive," I complained.

"Unfortunately, those seem to be synonyms for 'school'," Fabian said. We all laughed and our butterbeer arrived. Fabian and Gideon insisted on paying no matter how much we protested. We thanked them graciously. Gideon raised his hands metaphorically blocking the thanks.

"It's no trouble. Early Christmas present if you will," He wrapped his arm around Mary's shoulders and she smiled at him.

"That or you're just trying to impress your girlfriend," I muttered. Fabian was the only one who heard and he choked on his butterbeer. I bit back my laugh as he wiped the butterbeer froth from his face. He grinned at me and made another face. I stuck my tongue out at him, childishly.

The conversation furthered until almost all of us had drained our butterbeers and we ordered more. This time, we wouldn't hear no for an answer and we all paid. When the second round arrived, I felt a leg against mine. I raised an eyebrow at Fabian. He adopted an innocent look but bit his lip, smiling, ruining the whole effect. Or maybe enhancing it.

Eventually, the conversation rolled around to the Christmas party and ultimately, dates.

"Well, you already know who I'm going with," Gideon said, rubbing Mary's shoulder tenderly. Merlin, they were even cuter than I had thought.

"I'm going with Leon Bryce," Lily said, stirring the remainder of her butterbeer.

"That Hufflepuff bloke?" Fabian asked. "Hold tight to him, I heard he's a regular heartbreaker in the Hufflepuff common room,"

"Who're you going with this time, Marlene, Marlene the heartbreaking queen?" Gideon sang. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"George McKlain," She pursed her dark red lips.

"Ooo Georgie with the money and the incredible talent of blackmailing people? Sounds like a perfect match," Fabian teased.

"The very same," Marlene smirked in a teasing way. Everyone looked my way.

"I don't have a date," I shrugged. The foot against mine began to move. I raised an eyebrow at Fabian. He certainly was brave, I'll give him that.

"What a coincidence! I don't either," Fabian smiled, leaning forward. I crossed my arms across my chest, leaning back. I was well aware of the looks our friends were giving us.

"Yes, what a coincidence," I said, looking him in the eye. They were mischievous. And looked as though he were daring me to do something. Something...

"I don't suppose you'd like to go with me?" He questioned, the smirk still there. I pretended to consider the offer as his foot still trailed up and down my leg.

"Oh, well, I don't know. I have quite a few other people who would've like to go with me," I raised an eyebrow.

"One," Marlene muttered.

"I wouldn't want to disappoint them all," I sighed, acting. Fabian was raising his eyebrow as well.

"Of course, not. We wouldn't want to disappoint the many people I'm sure you have lined up," He grinned. "But I think I could handle a certain one I'm sure would give you a bit of trouble," I almost laughed.

"Seems reasonable," I said. He cocked his head.

"So is that a yes?"

"Not yet. Go on, make a show of it," I waved my hand at him. He grinned and got up from the table and took a knee. He grasped my hand in his and kissed it.

"Oh, Iris Brooks! The fair, the beautiful, and wished for! Would you grant me the grandest honour in going to the magnificent, though not as magnificent as you, Christmas party with me as your humble partner?" He yelled this proclamation to the whole of the restaurant and bowed over my hand. I bit back a laugh.

"Sure," I shook my head as he got up and thanked me, kissing my hand over and over again. I laughed. "Enough with the theatrics, mate. You've got yourself a date," He sat down and smiled at me.

"Wow. Great job Fab, you've single-handedly outdone every proposal ever," Gideon grinned. Everyone was laughing, and not just our table. The whole place had heard.

"Ah, well. I try," He grinned back. I rolled my eyes and the conversation struck up again, this time revolving around Quidditch.

"You are going to have to deal with Potter though. He'll be sore," I giggled. Fabian raised an eyebrow.

"Then I shall joust him!" He declared.

"To the death, preferably," I suggested, draining the last drops of my butterbeer.

"What other way is there, fair lady?" He was sporting a frothy moustache and a rather funny voice. I laughed.

How _would_ James react, I wondered?


	18. A Full Cup

He was handling it very poorly it seemed.

"But why _him_ of all people?" James whispered disgustedly, during class. My eyes almost rolled behind my head and I turned to give him a glare. He was sitting beside me, something he had managed to achieve in every class so far.

"He's nice," I said simply, levitating the cup full of water in front of me. James made no move to do the same.

"That's the only reason?" He asked, incredulously.

"No," I hissed. "Does it really matter? I'm going with him, no need to feel sore about it." I pursed my lips and hovered my wand to keep the glass in the air.

"What does he have that I don't?" James ran his fingers through his hair in a way that made him look utterly mad.

"How about intelligence?" I gripped my wand, fighting not to hex him. I focused on keeping the glass of water in the air. Merlin, he was being so _infuriating_.

James huffed and muttered something intelligible.

"What was that, Potter?" I asked, purposely not using his code name. "No need to speak under your breath." I spread my lips thinly.

"It's not... I–I asked you first," He pouted.

"Oh yes, because first come first served, hm?" I raised an eyebrow. James looked down at the table. "I am not some prize to be won, Potter. I chose Fabian because I wanted to, not because I think he's better than you or anything," I needled my eyes at the floating cup.

"I know you're not a prize, it's just... well it's just—" I lost my patience,

"What? It's just what, Potter?" I said, much louder than I intended. "Just that you wanted to go to the ball with me? Just that you're jealous? Is that it? Are you jealous?" I stood up from my chair, towering over him. He cowered, looking properly terrified. Much to my satisfaction. "Jealous of Fabian? Jealous that he somehow pierced my heart before you?" I was yelling now. I didn't notice, but the class was completely silent, everyone watching my eyes flame and James hide. "Well, I've got news for you, _James_ ," I hissed his name. "I am not a prize to be won, I am not just another girl who fawns over you, who wishes every second that she was dating you, I am not someone you can just woo into loving you!" I screamed.

The glass that had been prior to the moment hovering above my desk, crashed to the ground. It shattered and its contents washed over the desk. I didn't notice. "So for your information, Potter. Yes, you asked me first. And yes, I am going with Fabian,"

I turned, ignoring the eyes on me, the snickers from Sirius, the gentle drip of the water onto the ground, and headed toward the door. I ignored Professor Flitwick's feeble attempts to get me back in my seat. I spotted a face and walked over to the grinning red-haired twin. Sending a scathing look at James, I grabbed Fabian by the tie, pulling him up and crashed my lips onto his. I let go and looked Fabian in the eye.

"Merlin," I whispered. He winked at me. Sending another glare at James I waltzed out the door and slammed the door behind me.

"You seem to have done a number on him," Marlene remarked from beside me. I glanced over at James, who was stabbing his potato moodily. The ever forming knot in my stomach tightened.

"Well, he was being all annoying and jealous," I defended myself. "In every class too!" Marlene raised her hands in defence.

"I didn't say that was a bad thing," she said.

"He's torn up!" Mary pointed her fork at him. "Just look at him,"

"Merlin, stop. I'm already guilty. I didn't really mean it, he was just being so— so... _Infuriating_!" I held my head in my hands, kneading my temples.

"You should apologize," Mary said, spearing a green bean with her fork and waving it around. She was a very gesticulative person.

"I want to, but I don't," I moaned. Marlene nodded, but Mary shook her head.

"Doesn't matter. You need to apologize," she said.

"I will. Just... later. Later," I said. They both rolled their eyes. The knot in my stomach quadrupled in size as I thought about tonight. Everything about today just seemed to be going wrong, now didn't it?

Tonight was a full moon. Now that we were officially unofficial animagi we could be with Remus during his transformations. It was going to be something, that was for sure.

I looked over at James again. Gah, he seemed so despondent. He looked my way, and I shielded my face so he couldn't see the blush creeping up on my skin. I ignored the looks from Mary and Marlene. I had had enough of this stuffy atmosphere and I stood and quickly left the room. Fabian wolf-whistled when I walked past. I knocked him on the head with my book and he laughed, rubbing the spot. I headed to the only sanctuary I had left; the library.

I headed quickly for a table between the rows and sat down, burying my face in my hands.

"Apple?" I voice asked. I looked to the side, where Remus was just sitting down. He held out the fruit.

"Sure," I said, accepting it. I took a bite and sighed. "I screwed up,"

"Nah, you didn't," He assured me.

"Well, I did _something_ ," I said, exasperated. He nodded.

"Something, certainly. It'll all be fine though," He cracked open his bag and took out a book.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, taking another bite, a satisfying crunch resounding.

"Well, you've rejected him before. More ruthlessly than that, I might add," He raised an eyebrow.

"Like when?" I asked, doubtful.

"Remember third year?" He said, opening his book. I nodded.

"Oh yeah. Now _that_ was ruthless," I said. I bit the apple again and fished a piece out from between my teeth.

"Exactly. His heart is far from broken. Give it winter break, and he won't remember a thing. Or at least, he won't let it stop him," He turned the page.

"I still feel guilty though," I grumbled.

"Then apologize," He said, shortly. I muttered under my breath, but Remus kept reading.

Night fell. Tonight was the first full moon we would experience as animagi. The first time we would see Remus in his other form. I sat in the common room, waiting for the proper time, avoiding the looks of the three people I was not particularly excited to see. Remus was already in the infirmary, being cared for by Madame Pomfrey before she took him down into the whomping willow. He had told us how everything worked, how the knot froze the whole tree, where the passage lead to, everything.

We would meet him at eight o'clock which was a bit of unfortunate timing. People would still be down in the common room studying so we had to do it slowly. So that people wouldn't notice. I glanced at Sirius who gave me an inconspicuous nod. I got up, tucking the book I had been perusing into my bag and stepped out of the portrait hole. I waited, just outside the painting, in the shadows so no one could spot me. Several minutes ticked by and Peter joined me. Sirius and James followed soon after.

We silently draped the invisibility cloak over our heads. I avoided James' eyes, I felt vaguely guilty about earlier and my stomach seemed to knot together. He didn't look at me either but walked in the front. As we made our way through the winding hallways we edged past corners and professors on night watch.

At one point, we had to stop in a certain hallway because Peeves was rigging the carpet with dungbombs. He giggled gleefully as we swept past us. We tread very carefully there.

Soon, we reached the giant double doors to the outside but they were locked.

"Great. Iris, d'you know the counter-curse?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah," I said, and pulled out my wand. We shuffled around so I could reach the door. This, unfortunately, meant I was beside James again which also, unfortunately, meant my stomach seized with guilt again. I could feel his eyes on me as I muttered the counter-curse and pushed open the double doors. It was one of those nights where the air seems suspended between grey, black, and blue, almost bruise-like but infinitely more beautiful. The stars gleamed above us like an abundance of glow-in-the-dark freckles.

Once we felt safe enough to do so, we took off the cloak and James shoved it in his bag. We were in front of the whomping willow. Madame Pomfrey and Remus had already been here, for there were dull footprints in the grass before the large, swaying tree. Remus's lead into the small hole in the base, and Madame Pomfrey's back toward the castle.

Taking a simultaneous breath, we all transformed. James pranced his hooves and tossed his head. Sirius wagged his tail. He almost blended in with the sky, his fur was so dark. I dug my silvery paw into the dirt and bared my teeth. Peter was already making his way through the grass, his tail swaying like the blades. He reached the base of the tree and tapped the knot in the hole. Immediately, the whole tree froze and we entered the tunnel.

It was dark. The soil was loose under our paws and hooves alike. My eyes seemed to absorb all the darkness. I could see much better than I could've as a human. As we made our way through the winding passageway, not taller than four feet, I realized I was by far the largest animal, James second, Sirius a close third. Peter was so tiny, he had to scurry behind us so we wouldn't tread on him.

We reached an incline in the dirt path and soon arrived at the door. We paused, hesitantly. Noises were coming from the other side. They didn't sound ferocious, but not altogether friendly. Using my paw, I opened the door and stepped through.

The others followed and James kicked the door closed. Remus was not in the room but we could hear him in one of the adjoining ones. Moving through the shrieking shack, we listened for noises of danger. Hearing none, we entered the next room and spotted him.

It was the first time I realized how very different animagi and werewolves were. When you transform into your animagus form some of you stays there. You still have your thoughts and an air about you that says that this is you. But a werewolf. There is no sanity there, no thought. No aura to tell you who they are. They're just animals, without a flicker in their eyes to tell who they are.

In short, the wolf before us was not Remus, but an animal.

His fur was torn off in places and he gave off a malnourished air. His eyes, normally a green-blue-grey, now a reddish-yellow glint, his ravaged and bleeding skin spoke of claws, and his bloody claws spoke of pain. His muzzle was permanently born, showing rows of sharp teeth, yellowed and cracked. His ears were tattered and torn, looking more like decaying parchment than flesh.

This was not Remus. It was an animal, and painfully so.

I padded over to him, rubbing my head against his arm. He growled but a small glint of recognition stuck there. Maybe it was because I was a fellow wolf, maybe it was because he did truly recognize his friends, but in any case, he did not attack. The other three Marauders followed, their minds still grappling with the facts.

The night was young. We filled it with howls at the moon and wrestlings. Occasionally, he seemed human-like, as though letting down a guard he didn't know was there. And a moment later it was back in place.

When he was bored he would dig into his own skin, making it bleed and tear. We pinned him down when he did this. We kept him busy, keeping from injuring himself or any of us. It was like playing with an apprehensive dog. A dog who was much bigger, stronger, and scarier than you. One that was more of a danger to himself than to us.

The night wore on, continuing until a magenta sky popped out over the horizon. We all watched as the werewolf laid down and curled up. We all watched as the animal seemed to shrink and bend and morph back into our friend. Remus. He was naked and unconscious. Sirius nuzzled him until he stirred and sat up.

"Hello," He said in the quietest voice I had ever heard. It was gravelly but not in a relaxing way. A way that sounded like a boulder crumbling down a mountain. James fetched the clothes that had been sitting on the chair in the other room and Remus put them on. We transformed back into our human forms but I was the first. I ran over and hugged him around the neck. I realized I was crying into his shoulder. Full sobs.

"Hey. Hey," Remus spoke in his quiet voice, patting me on the back. "I'm okay now, Iris. I'm okay,"

"I know. I know," I sobbed. "I'm sorry," I felt other arms around me and came to the realization that we were now in a group hug. There were more tears than my own.

We left before Madame Pomfrey got here to bring Remus back to the castle. We made our way through the castle, falling asleep on each other's shoulders. I somehow managed to get to my bed and I passed out on the mattress, a dozen emotions tangled in my chest.

I slept for a long time.


	19. Snow Ball

I woke up to a very chilly room.

"Merlin's trainers, why is it so cold in here?" I asked, sleepily. Lily and the other girls were already awake, I saw them through blurred eyes, in the bathroom.

"Look out the window," Marlene told me. I very hesitantly brushed the blankets off of me and looked out the frosted window panes. White clumps of snow were falling from the sky, the ground already completely covered. I yawned in appreciation.

"Snow. On the most convenient day. How delightful," I stretched and was satisfied with a pop in my neck. "What time is it?" I asked, joining them in the bathroom and began combing my hair.

"Nine O' clock," Mary answered. She was rubbing moisturizer on her face.

"Magnificent. Are you all ready to party?" I asked, attempting to comb out a very tenacious knot.

"Merlin, yes," Marlene said as though exasperated that it hadn't yet happened. Mary and Lily agreed in cheers. I grinned. This was going to be a day.

Fifteen minutes later we were all headed to the Great Hall, dressed and ready for a chaotic day. We grabbed our breakfast and as the room filled, dates sat next to each other in almost a battle of who was the cutest couple. A few moments after I had sat down, Fabian was already beside me.

"Good morning, darling, how's your day been so far?" He pecked me on the cheek.

"Well, I'm awake, so not very good," I grinned. He laughed and wrapped an arm around my waist. I felt eyes on me, but I refused to look up and meet James' no doubt annoyed gaze.

"Ready for tonight?" He asked, grabbing a piece of toast.

"Obviously not, don't you see what I'm wearing?" I gestured at my jeans and sweatshirt.

"Stop with the witty remarks, Merlin, you'll outdo me with your sass!" Fabian joked. I laughed with him and we finished our breakfast, chatting about every which-what and flirting softly.

"Well," I said, standing up from the table. "I think I'm going to go back to the common room. C'mon girls,"

Lily, Mary, and Marlene got up and we strolled out of the Great Hall. There wasn't much to do before three as we soon discovered. All of the students were basically holed up in the common rooms until they wanted to get ready. That was until the Marauders (Minus me) walked into the room.

"Who wants to have a schoolwide snowball fight!" James Potter yelled into the room. Cheers immediately ensued. People scrambled to grab coats and other warm clothing.

In less than half an hour the entire school, including a few teachers, were gathered outside. Somehow, in the madness, the Ravenclaws had already built a snowy fortress complete with towers and a catapult one of the students had made for a school project. Hufflepuff was halfway through theirs, and it was looking even more promising.

"Alright!" James called out to the masses. Somehow, that quieted things down. "I'm sure you all know how to have a snowball fight and it looks like we've already split up into teams," He said, eyeing the Ravenclaws who were adding icicle spikes to the walls. "There's only one rule; you can't throw snowballs until your fortress is complete! Ready!" He paused for effect. "Set!" The Ravenclaws were arming themselves. "GO!" He shouted and sprinted toward the rest of the Gryffindors as the Ravenclaws launched their snowballs, peppering him.

The Hufflepuffs had finished their fortress and had somehow managed to give it two stories. Icicle spikes decorated the walls and they were already hurling snowballs at everyone.

"Go, go go!" James yelled at the Gryffindors. Immediately, we began building. Apparently, Remus had sketched out blueprints beforehand and we were done in no time. Somehow, we had created a drawbridge out of cardboard and rope. We too had icicle spikes adorning the walls and a secret tunnel so we could escape if we were invaded. We had four towers on all corners and we had already elected 'sharpshooters'.

Slytherin was just finishing up. It was covered in spikes and according to a third year who had overheard their plans, they had an enlarged slingshot.

Ravenclaw seemed to be doing the best, but Hufflepuff was a close second. The Ravenclaws had already collapsed the North wing of our fortress and Hufflepuff was doing a number on the Slytherins' left tower.

I was outside the fortress, battling from the ground and guarding the entryway. I blasted a large catapulted snowball from the sky with my wand. It felt down as large snowflakes. I was fighting with a bunch of other Gryffindors and we were all working on collapsing part of the Ravenclaw tower because they seemed to be the strongest.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a group of Hufflepuffs sneaking behind our fortress and I sprinted after them. As I rounded the corner I threw a bunch of snowballs at them.

"Get her!" One of them yelled. All too soon, I was overpowered. Two of their number held my arms behind my back. I recognized a few of them. Emily Jorgenson was one. She was very nice, she had helped me with my Herbology once. The other one I recognized was Leon Bryce, the guy Lily was going with to the party tonight.

"Hey, wait. Aren't you Potter's girl?" One of them asked. I scoffed.

"No. I'm going to the party with Fabian," I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, but he's totally in love with you though, right?" Another Hufflepuff asked.

"I wouldn't say _that_ , necessarily—" I started.

"We're gonna kidnap you anyway. Potter'll want to get you back and that's good dirt," One of the guys said.

In a minute or so, I was smuggled behind all the fortresses and was welcomed into the Hufflepuff fortress. The second I stepped over the threshold, I was hit with a sudden warm air. Evidentally a heating spell. I was given a tour, much to my disbelief they actually had a full on _kitchen_ in here. Someone handed me a plate full of warm crepes covered in whipped cream, strawberries, and chocolate sauce. My mouth watered.

I was ushered upstairs to the balcony they had and they addressed James from his tower on our fortress.

"James Potter!" Leon yelled at him from across the space.

"What do you want, Hufflepuff scum?" James yelled back.

"We have kidnapped one of your number, Potter," He answered. James scoffed.

"What makes you think I care?" James yelled back.

"Say hello," Leon pushed me to the front. I took another bite of my crepe.

"I'm not even mad," I said, eating more. James cursed very loudly.

"You'll never get away with this!" He yelled.

"Potter! They have a kitchen! A kitchen!" I said. "How is that even possible?" I asked the Hufflepuffs next to me. They just smiled.

"Don't worry Iris! I'll save you!" Potter called, scrambling down from his tower.

"You mean I will! I'm her date!" Fabian called from the top of the fortress.

"Look at this freaking crepe you guys, it's amazing," I tilted the plate at them.

"Stay out of this Prewett," James hissed loudly.

"Never!" He called back.

"Can I get another one of these?" I asked the people around me. I had already finished it. Someone handed me a warm doughnut. "Merlin, this place is heaven," I gasped. I was lead back inside the fortress as it seemed the entirety of the Gryffindor fortress was attacking now, lead by a furious James and an amused Fabian.

I was placed in the kitchen just because I kept asking for food. At this rate, I wouldn't fit into my dress tonight. They locked the 'door' and placed two guards in front and I began to formulate my plan. If I was spacially correct, this kitchen was directly above the entryway and I had just happened to notice a secret tunnel in the corner of that very room when I had passed through.

I finished my doughnut and took out my wand. I slowly figured out the spells they had used to keep their snowy walls standing, I loosened the spell and began melting through the floor as the noises from outside grew louder. In a matter of seconds, I had fallen through the floor and was sitting in the entryway. I scrambled to my feet and launched myself toward the secret passageway as Hufflepuffs attempted to grab me. I made it and locked the door behind me using a spell. Taking a breath, I crawled through the small tunnel and to the outside.

"She's here!" Someone yelled. "Right here!" I stood and brushed the snow off myself. Fabian reached me first. He grabbed me and picked me up bridal style.

"My love! How art thou faring?" He asked with a grin.

"Very well, thank you. Set me down please," I pecked him on the cheek.

"As you wish," He said and set me down. James had reached us by now.

"Do you have a plan?" James asked me, twinkle in his eyes.

"Of course," I said, haughtily, hands on my hips. "What do you take me for?"

"Alright, what is it then?" Fabian inquired, eyebrow raised.

In the end, we won. After we stormed the Hufflepuff fortress via the secret passage, the Slytherins had attempted to do the same to our original fortress. While they were attacking our empty fortress, the combined team of the Hufflepuffs and the Gryffindors plus the Ravenclaws collapsed both buildings. The Slytherins joined the Ravenclaws side in an attempt to defeat us but in the end, a group of Hufflepuffs rigged a heat bomb and the Ravenclaw fortress was destroyed.

Now, it was much later and everyone was getting ready for the Christmas party. Mary, Marlene, Lily, and I had showered after the huge snowball fight and we were getting on our dresses. Lily was wearing a new green dress she had purchased a few months earlier. It was in a slight mermaid style and she looked beautiful in it. Mary had bought her dress a week before. She had finally decided on a lilac coloured dress. It had lace patterns on the skirt and it made her look simply amazing. Marlene had finally decided on a short red dress that made her look simply gorgeous.

I was wearing a green dress Lily had actually given to me. It had a thin waist and a larger skirt. It was tea length and had sleeves that matched the collared neck. It was a slightly casual dress, but beautiful all the same. The shade of green almost matched my eyes. I was very satisfied with how I looked.

We were doing makeup and hair now. Lily and Mary were the best at hair and Marlene was the makeup queen, so I was doing nails. Right now, Mary was doing my hair and I was doing Lily's nails while Marlene did Lily's makeup. Mary was styling my hair in a crown across my head. It looked amazing and her fingers moved quickly.

The whole thing was exactly the amount of chaos one needed to get ready to party all night.

"Girls..." Marlene drawled. "Guess what I have?" She was using a sing-song voice.

"What?" Lily asked. Marlene grinned and brought out behind her back a large bottle of firewhiskey. I laughed out loud.

"Where did you get that?" Mary asked, appalled.

"George gave it to me. I've got some shot glasses somewhere..." She said. Lily's face was shocked. I was laughing.

"Just one shot, Marlene. I don't need much more than that," I took the small glass from her. Once we all had our shots full we raised them.

"To parties and friends!" Marlene said,

"To parties and friends!" We all chorused. I downed my drink. It burned in the back of my throat and I fought the urge to cough. It felt good though and I was invigorated.

We finished hair and makeup and nails quickly, just in time. It was six, which meant the feast was about to start. I slipped on my heels and took one last look in the floor length mirror we had in our room. I had to say, I looked as flawless as I felt.

We filed down the stairs chattering and elegantly. Our dates were waiting at the bottom of the stairs. All decked out in tuxes and their mouths wide open. I winked at Fabian and took his arm. He slipped a corsage of white roses over my wrist and kissed my cheek.

"You look—well, you look..." Fabian was at a loss for words. I grinned at him.

"Gorgeous? I know," I said. He laughed and took my arm.

"Let's freaking rave," Fabian said.

"Let's," I agreed.


	20. A Last Dance

Dinner was a formal affair. Very fancy. Instead of the usual house tables, there were a plethora of smaller, circular tables. Our group consisted of me, Fabian, Mary, Gideon, Lily, Leon, Marlene, and George. We managed to grab a table that fit all of us. The boys pulled out our chairs like proper gentlemen.

"Why thank you, Fabian," I said, grinning. He just smiled and inclined his head.

Soon we were all situated and the room slowly started filling up. It didn't take long. I watched the double doors, occasionally waving to those who knew me and vice versa. I saw the other Marauders enter, decked out in their own tuxes. I could tell James had attempted to comb his hair. Unsuccessfully, I might add. Sirius had his hair up in a bun that actually suited him very well. Remus was wearing a thin tie, which amused me slightly. It made him look even taller and thinner than he actually was. Peter's shoes looked as though he had buffed them a thousand times and yes they somehow looked like supermodels. Slow-motion, windswept hair, everything.

I could already see girls swooning at the sight of them, and I could actually see why for a moment. And the moment didn't end when James looked my way and winked. I pretended to swoon like the others girls and he laughed. The four made their way to our table and greeted us.

"Ready to party the night away?" Sirius asked, swaying from foot to foot. Gideon laughed.

"Of course, mate. Question is, are you?" Gideon smirked.

"Of course," James answered. "We are _the_ party animals." He gave me a subtle wink and I almost wanted to slap him for his terrible joke.

"Are you all going stag?" Lily inquired after a few minutes of conversation. Sirius nudged James who grinned.

"Technically, yes," Sirius said. "But you know me. I'll end up with someone at the end of this." Everyone laughed, but I noticed Marlene stiffen. I smiled slightly.

It was almost time for things to start, so the Marauders minus I took up a table near ours. Just in time, too. A second after they had taken their seats, Professor Slughorn stood up from the teachers' table where the professors were seated and tapped a knife against his glass. The room quieted.

"Alright!" He said, in his booming voice. "I know you're all very excited to get this show on the road, but let me just say a few words first," He smiled at the crowd. "I've been teaching at this school for a very long time. A _very_ long time. Almost, what? Twenty years now? Something like that. But in all the years I have been here, I have never seen such a promising group of students," This was met with a cheer and he laughed. "It's true! I'm truly excited for what you have to offer in this world. So party away, but remember; there's more to this world than what's here now." He raised his glass and so did the rest of the room. "To the future!" He said.

"To the future!" The room boomed. A moment later, the menus appeared on the plates. It was rather simple how it worked really. You ordered by telling your plate exactly what you wanted and in a split second, it was right in front of you. I ordered the baked potato and steak and there it appeared along with Pumpkin Fizz and a gravy boat.

` The room seemed quieter for a moment but became louder as people struck up their lost conversations. In almost no time, meals were finished and the chatter returned to the usual ear-busting volume.

When that happened, Professor Slughorn asked everyone to stand and he waved his wand. In an instant, the tables and chair seemed to melt into the floor and a stage popped up at the far end of the room. The room cheered as the band took their places. I recognized them. They were called the Weird Sisters and seemed to be gaining a lot of popularity lately.

The room darkened and bluish fairy lights began floating over the crowd. The band immediately struck up a beat and soon the dancing commenced. The Wallflowers took their usual spots in the corners and everyone else began to party. It was a very good song that was playing I thought. I took a mental note to remember the title and I began to dance with Fabian. He was what you might call a _flamboyant_ dancer. Almost immediately the people around us scooted away and kept their distance as Fabian danced with increasing vigour. I couldn't stop laughing as he took my hands and lead me in a dance that soon had me gasping for breath.

The next song had a deep bass and the room began jumping up and down to the rhythm. Many people were taking a stab at conversation but in this noise, it was next to impossible. I saw Lily dancing with Leon who was apparently a natural dancer. She was laughing at something he had said and I smiled. I couldn't see Marlene or her date, George, but they had to be somewhere in the crowd.

I spotted Mary and Gideon dancing less enthusiastically than those around them, but they seemed to be having a great time. They were very close. Of course, one had to be to have a conversation, but I suspected it was for more reason than just communication.

Fabian was grinning madly at me, a look which I soon returned ad he swept me around our little space. I was having a blast and so was everyone. However, I was glad when a slow song came on because I was out of breath. Fabian took my hand and placed the other around my waist. He was a very good dancer and soon I had my arms around his neck as we swayed to the beat.

"Enjoying yourself?" He smiled down at me.

"Of course," I replied.

"Good to hear, good to hear," He said. There was a slight pause in the conversation as we spun. "What's your favourite colour?" He asked rather suddenly. I snorted.

"Where on earth did that question come from?" I laughed. He grinned.

"Oh, I don't know. I've been looking at some of those conversation cards they have in Witch Weekly," He joked.

"Right," I smirked. "Well, if you must know, it's that colour that's slightly in between red and orange. That colour that you always see in sunsets." He nodded and smiled at me.

"That's a well thought out answer," He said and raised an eyebrow. "My favourite colour is red."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it's the Gryffindor colour," he grinned. I just shook my head.

"Of course that's why" I teased.

We quieted for a moment just to look around at the couples around us. I saw Remus dancing with a Ravenclaw girl that had to be at least two feet shorter than him. They seemed to be having a very interesting conversation though because Remus couldn't look away from her eyes.

I gazed around a bit more and spotted Sirius dancing with none other than Scarlett Atkinson. Not a surprise there. They too were dancing very close together. As I watched, they met in the middle and they kissed. At least they weren't full-on snogging yet.

The song ended and Fabian asked if I wanted to take a break. I agreed and we made our way through the crowd, reaching a table in the corner.

"I'll go get us some drinks," He said. I nodded absentmindedly. He merged back into the crowd. I was currently looking for James. He was the only one I hadn't spotted yet because I had just seen Marlene and George snogging in the corner. He didn't seem to be in the crowd of dancers, but I had yet to see him around the tables. Maybe he had ditched? No, that couldn't be it. James Potter would never ditch a party.

Fabian arrived and handed me a cup full of what looked like more Pumpkin Fizz. I sipped it and Fabian sat down beside me. It was getting steadily hotter in the room and I could feel sweat beading up on my forehead. I took another sip of the soda and let out a deep breath.

The night was taken with dancing and singing and conversations that never ended. I still had not glimpsed James Potter for more than a few seconds. Those fleeting moments had been captured in the crowd. He was smiling and dancing but soon blocked from view by a couple somehow slow dancing to a fast-paced song.

I had an amazing time dancing with Fabian and my other friends. My voice was miraculously unaffected from all the singing I had been doing for the past hour. Hours? Who knew at this point anyway? But in any case, I was becoming fatigued. Fabian noticed and offered to take me out to one of the balconies for some fresh air. I readily agreed and we made our way through the dancers and out the double doors created for this exact purpose.

Fabian closed the doors behind us, muting out most of the music. I took a deep breath. The night was rich with stars and the moon was a sliver in the sky. I sat down on the stone lip and Fabian joined me. I looked up at the stars and breathed. I closed my eyes and listened to the strong bass that was making its way through the cracks.

Fabian wrapped his arm around my waist and I leaned on him, taking another breath. It was a beautiful night.

"That's much better," I said, opening my eyes. Fabian let out a quiet laugh.

"Yeah. It is, isn't it?" We were quiet for a few moments. "I'm really glad you decided to go with me." He said. I sat up slightly and looked at him.

"I am too. You're a good dancer," I smiled at him. He smiled back.

And very quickly those seconds stretched to moments and those moments stretched longer until the feeling pulling us together could not be ignored. We kissed in the moonlight. It was very tender and beautiful and if someone had been taking a photograph of that moment, they would have captured a very romantic, practically perfect image for all of time.

That's why it was rather disappointing when we both realized that this moment wasn't that at all.

We broke apart and sat very still, assessing if the other was feeling what we were feeling.

"That..." I started. There was a pregnant pause. "Was nice..."

"But not the nice it was supposed to be," Fabian finished. I nodded. He nodded back, slowly. "I think... we need to respect that we would never work out in a relationship situation."

"I agree," I said. The pause between us was palpable. "Well," I said eventually. "Potter'll be happy I suppose." Fabian laughed. And so did I. It was a long time before either of us could stop.

After that, we both entered the castle again, this time not as dates, but as friends. It was very evident to the both of us that it had been good while it lasted, and while flirting with each other was rather fun, that flirting could never turn into something else. It was a complicated business, but we had come to a conclusion that satisfied us both.

I still danced the night away with my friends and ate more snack food than I should have. But internally, my mind had come to another conclusion I knew would've happened eventually.

I needed to apologize to James.

I couldn't find him though, and throughout the whole night, I worried I wouldn't get a chance to tell him. After all, tomorrow everyone was leaving for the holidays.

As the dance wound down, I stayed, hoping for a chance to talk to James. I still could not find him. Marlene was long gone, probably somewhere doing something with George as none of us could find either of them and Lily, Mary, Leon, Fabian, and Gideon were getting ready to leave.

"Catch up with you lot later," I told them. They left and soon the room was emptied out to only a few couples snogging in separate corners. I still scanned the room, hoping I'd see the person I hadn't seen prior.

Just when I was about to give up hope, a familiar face came into the room from the hallway. James looked tired. His glasses were crooked and his already messy hair was looking positively torrential on his head. I stood and followed him as he headed for the balcony.

"Prongs!" I called out to him. He turned, surprised, one hand on the handle of the double doors.

"Hey, Roman," He greeted me. I gestured at the door.

"Sorry. Don't let me stop you," I said. He tilted his head but pushed open the door and gestured me through. He closed it behind us.

"What's up? You look like you want to say something," he said. I smiled.

"Yeah. Well, I um..." I started, all of a sudden losing my words. He waited, patiently. "I just wanted to say sorry," I said.

"For what?" He asked, confusedly. His eyebrows knitted together.

"I was sort of a jerk about the whole thing with Fabian and I and I just wanted to say sorry," I said, sheepishly. He looked surprised, but if I read him correctly, and bit pleased.

"Oh. Well, it's okay," He grinned at me.

"And—" I paused. "And we're not serious. We both agreed that we wouldn't continue a relationship together. At least, not romantically." I said. James was standing straighter now. The darkness just managed to erase any important feelings from his face.

"What brought you to that conclusion?" He tilted his head, some moonlight flitting across his face.

"Ah. We kissed," I said.

"Oh." He replied.

"It just didn't feel right, so we talked about it and... yeah," I didn't know why I wanted him to know all this, but I did.

"Okay," He said. We stood, rather awkwardly on the balcony. It was a very quiet night.

"Should we...?" I gestured at the door.

"Oh... Yeah," He agreed and he held it open for me. The room was now empty, evidently, a teacher had come by and told all the couples to go to sleep. The floating fairy lights were still there though, and I gazed up at them.

"I never got the chance to tell you," James said beside me. I looked at him. He was smiling.

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"You look beautiful in that dress," He smirked. I laughed.

"Thanks,"

"No problem,"

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He was looking up at the fairy lights. They reflected in his glasses and I smiled. I felt the strange urge to run my fingers through his hair. It just looked so soft and dishevelled and it looked like he took good care of it...

"Are you going to keep staring or ask me to dance?" He asked. I stumbled out of my daze.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"Dance it is," He said. He held out his palm and bowed as though expecting me to take it. I looked at him, flabbergasted. He looked up. "You're supposed to take my hand," He said. I did, still in partial shock. He stood up straight and placed his other hand on my waist and we began slowly swaying to no beat at all.

"You do know there's no music?" I asked, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Well, obviously. That's what makes it all the more special. We're making the music," He said, poetically. My mind simply had not grasped exactly what was happening. There was no music and I was dancing with James Potter and his hand was on my waist and I was... blushing? Inconceivable.

And yet, as we danced in the silent room, I couldn't help but enjoy myself.

A last dance, in complete silence, but I could hear the music straining from our breaths and our feet and the swish of the fairy lights above our heads. We were truly making music from nothing at all.


	21. A Job

The next morning, I woke early, to the sounds of shuffling and quiet cursing. I opened my bleary eyes to see my fellow dormmates packing. I sat up. Today was the first day of winter break and my friends were leaving. I wasn't of course. I was staying at Hogwarts for the break.

As the girls packed, we chatted about things. The dance last night, Christmas plans, and much more. Marlene finally admitted where she had disappeared to last night. She had been with George as suspected, doing things that shall not be stated here.

The packing did not take long, and when they were done I agreed I'd walk with them to the carriages. We set off, trunks levitating behind us. Once we got outside and were on the path leading to the carriages, Lily brought up a subject I didn't much want to talk about.

"So whatever happened with James last night?" Lily asked as she pulled the scarf around her neck over her face. My chest immediately seized.

"Oh, nothing," I said, attempting at an airy demeanour. And failing. Marlene raised an eyebrow.

"You sure?" She asked, a smirk on her face.

"Yes, I'm sure, I was there," I sassed.

"I think you're lying," Mary said, quite frankly. I gaped at her.

"I most certainly am not," I said, hands on my hips. The girls gave each other looks. "I'm not! I just apologized, nothing major happened!"

"Of course, you're not, Iris. And I'm a hippogriff," Marlene said. I glared at her.

"Who's a hippogriff?" A voice asked, sending my heart plunging into my stomach.

"I am," Marlene answered the good-looking, ruffle-haired, spectacle-wearing boy.

"And why is that, Mckinnon?" Sirius asked, behind James. I glared at the lot of them.

"Because Iris is lying about what happened last night when she apologized to Potter there," She said, nodding in his direction. I pulled my scarf over my pinking face and stared determinedly ahead. James' eyes seemed to light up.

"Is she now?" James wrapped his arms around my waist and smiling. The glint in my eye made me regret literally everything. "Well, I could tell you."

"Don't you bloody dare, Potter. I will tear you limb from limb," I threatened. He laughed, much to my displeasure.

"You could tell them, and then there wouldn't be any embellished details that you may not agree with," He smiled. I swore.

"It was an act of weakness!" I threw my hands up into the air. "You disarmed me with your suit and your hair and your charm—"

"You think I'm charming?" James asked, a grin prominent on his face. I glared.

"NO I ruddy well don't," I was beginning to regret even speaking. I saw the looks on my friends' faces. Their amused smiles would not be going away any time soon. I cursed again. "We danced. That was it, I'm telling you!" I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

The girls cooed. Sirius laughed and high-fived James. Remus smiled slightly and shook his head. I moaned.

"See? That wasn't that hard, Love," James said. I was now well aware of the arm around my waist. I shoved him off.

"It's Roman to _you_ Potter. And get your hands off me," I despaired. "The most interesting thing that happened last night was that I'm not dating Fabian. Leave it to you lot to make the least interesting part of the night more extraordinary." I folded my arms, tightly.

By that time, we had reached the pickup sight for the carriages. As the group chatted more whilst I pouted off to the side, a carriage came by that could only hold six. I prayed for literally anyone but James to be the last one. Of course, he purposely lagged behind everyone else until the carriage was full and he couldn't fit.

"I'll just wait for the next one then," He said, waving to the group. He joined my side. I took a deep breath.

"Well, then. I'd best be off. I've got to go clean up my dormitory and all that you know," I supplied and turned around briskly.

"Hey, wait! Won't you wait with me? There's no one else here and I'll get lonely," He said, biting his lip. I turned and looked at him. Which was a big mistake because then I felt a little bad.

"Fine," I said, shrugging, trying to be nonchalant. "I wait," I joined his side and casually ignoring his side looks at me.

A minute or so passed in complete silence.

"So you're staying at Hogwarts, huh?" James asked. I nodded.

"Yup," I said. More silence.

"Have you done that before?" He asked.

"No," I answered. The quiet continued.

"Well, my offer still stands," He said. I looked at him curiously.

"What offer?"

"I asked you if you'd like to come over Christmas eve. You know, a sort of party. Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot will all be there," He said. He almost said it nonchalantly but there was a small lilt in his voice. I gazed at him curiously and wondered if James Potter could actually be nervous right now.

"Oh, of course, I'll go. That'd be fun," I said, in complete sincerity. He seemed to stand a little straighter.

"Great!" He said, grinning at me. I smiled back.

"Yeah," I agreed. Just then, a group of Hufflepuffs walked up and joined us, so our conversation stopped momentarily. A carriage rolled up at almost the exact same time and the Hufflepuffs boarded first. James turned to me.

"I'm glad you're coming," He said, smiling and adjusting his glasses.

"Yeah, no problem. I'm looking forward to it," I smiled back and he looked at me for a moment.

"Goodbye then!" He said, cheerily and leaned down and kissed my cheek. In a second flat, he jumped onto the carriage and rolled away, leaving me waving after in the snow. I put a hand to the cheek. It felt warm.

Merlin save me.

An hour or so later, I had cleaned up the dorm which was now very empty and ate some late breakfast. I changed into some slightly nicer clothes and headed to Hogsmeade.

See, I had not stayed at Hogwarts this year for my grades or for my O.W.L.s or anything like that. I had gotten a job. Most kids my age did not have full-time jobs, because they have parents who are capable of working and earning money for the family. I don't.

For the past ten years, my mum and I have been relying on the money my father had left us when he died. That money could not last forever and I had fully realized how dire the situation was. My mum is... unfit to work, and I am only running on perhaps two years worth of money left to pay the Healer caring for her.

And that's not counting school supplies I need every year.

So I had gotten a job. At the Three Broomsticks actually, which should be good. Madame Rosmerta is a very nice lady and it pays really well for something like this.

I arrived five minutes late, covered in snow, and scared out of my mind.

"Ah! Iris! How's it going, dear?" Madame Rosmerta asked, helping me out of my cloak and other winter items.

"Very well, Madame," I said, teeth chattering. "Sorry I'm late, the wind out there is insane."

"No worries, dear. And please, call me Rosmerta. We're all friends here," She smiled in that way only she can. It's the kind of smile that warms you up and makes you feel at ease no matter where you are. "Now, come, come. I've got to teach you a thing or two before you get started."

She lead me behind the counter and showed me around. There was a girl working there and she smiled as I went past. I smiled back.

"Here's where you get the drinks. Now, you're not allowed to handle the firewiskey or anything else from this shelf. If a customer orders that, you come to me." She smiled. "What you'll be doing is pouring drinks for anyone who wants to sit here at the counter and make the ice creams. All the other food is made by our cooks, so you needn't worry about that. Once you've got a feel for things up here, you'll move to taking orders and waiting on people, but don't worry about that now."

She lead me through some doors marked 'employees only'.

"Here is where the cooks do their stuff, say, hi guys," The cooks waved and I waved back. "You'll learn everyone's names soon enough. And if you don't they've all got name tags." She winked. I was finally beginning to ease into this. It wouldn't be so bad, I might even enjoy myself.

"This is where you sign in and grab your uniform for the day. You just check the box next to your name every morning and check the second box when your shift is over. This is your uniform," She handed me an apron and name tag. "I see you're wearing a white shirt like I asked. You're going to have to wear one every day, but if you forget we have a box just filled with some, but if you'd rather you have one that actually fits, I'd recommend wearing your own."

I put on the apron and the name tag and followed her through more doors, twisting my fingers, nervously.

"As a general rule, if you're handling food I require you to either have short hair or wear it up. Seeing as you don't have short hair, ponytails and buns are fine, if you want to wear a braid that's fine also. I also require you to wear close-toed shoes, just because if someone drops a knife or something, you know. It just helps." She opened the door to what looked like a walk-in refrigerator.

"If you ever run out of ice cream or drinks, come here. This is where we keep all the food that you'll be handling," She smiled. "That's basically it. Any questions?" I nodded.

"When is my break and what time should I expect checks?" I bit my lip. She laughed.

"Right, right, of course. Your break I believe is group two, so from 12:00 to 1:00 for your lunch break and 3:50 to 4:00 for coffee break. Your check should come every third week of the month or so. I'll give you a five days notice beforehand," She smiled at me and then checked her watch. "Oh, mercy," She sighed. "Okay, I'm going to pair you with Sarah right now, she'll tell you anything else you need to know."

She lead me through the doors again to the counter where the girl from before was pouring butterbeer for a couple sitting at the counter. She was blonde, and obviously older than me, at least my five years. She had her hair up in a ponytail right now and looked up when Rosmerta come up.

"Alright, Sarah, this is the new girl, Iris. You're going to show her the ropes, for now, got it?" Madame Rosmerta said eyebrow raised.

"Got it," she said. Madame Rosmerta nodded, checked her watch again, and hurried away. Sarah gave me a once over. "Alright. You ready for the most gruelling, overwhelming, unfulfilling job ever?" She asked eyebrow raised. I blinked.

"Umm..." Was all I could reply.

"I'm kidding," She laughed. "This is a great job actually. We're all family here, welcome to the team," She held out her hand to shake. I shook it.

"Oh. Well, then I'm glad to be working here," I laughed with her.

"Alright, there's nothing really too difficult about this job, you've just gotta be patient," she said. I rolled my eyes.

"Trust me. I'm patient," I sighed.

"Good. Also, the customer is always right. Unless they're wrong. Then, you just disagree silently and go get the manager," We laughed again.

The door tingled as a man came in. He kicked the snow off his boots and pulled off his hat. He headed for the bar.

"Think you can handle this one?" Sarah asked. I grinned.

"Of course I can,"


	22. Dreaming

In truth, the job was an easy one. I was just happy it paid well. As I continued my work, winter vacation slipped past, and before I knew it it was the day before Christmas Eve, which meant it was a day until Potter's party. I wouldn't be working that day, it was the one day I had asked off. I was currently working every single day including weekends. Madame Rosmerta had tried to convince me to do otherwise, but I insisted. I needed the money.

Sarah and I had become fast friends even though we were seven years apart as I had learned. She had a girlfriend who came in every Wednesday and Friday and sat at the counter and talked about the most interesting things. Today it was time travel and how it ought to be used for space travel instead.

"Think about it," She said, downing her drink. Sarah poured her another glass. "Time turners have a bunch of spells over them so that it times it perfectly. The earth is constantly moving and revolving, so one mistake and you could end up miles inside the earth or in orbit! If the spells on them didn't exist, time turners would be really stupid and unusable." Leana was the girl's name. She had hair that was dyed electric blue and eyes to match. She had a pointed nose and freckles that reminded me of sprinkles. "But, what if we used it for sending things into orbit? We could just take all the spells off of the time turners and create a spell attaching it to whatever we wanted to send into space, do the math, go back in time, and BAM! We're in space." She raised an eyebrow, satisfied.

"I don't quite understand. How would you be in space by time travelling?" I asked, drying off some half-pint glasses.

"So, the earth is constantly revolving and moving right?" I nodded. "And when you time travel you stay in the same spot in space, which means, the earth moves away from you, so you stay in the same spot, but go to a different time, when the earth was in a different place. Timer turners have spells on them to prevent that so that you move with the earth, but if we didn't, we could use them for putting things in orbit. It's genius."

"That's amazing," I said.

"I know," She nodded and sipped her firewhiskey. Sarah came over and pecked her on the cheek.

"Love, don't you need to be somewhere?" She asked eyebrow raised accusingly. Leana waved her hand around, dismissively.

"The meeting doesn't start for another hour. It's fine," She finished her drink and held it out to Sarah for a refill.

"No more. You've had three already, you don't want to show up drunk again," She reprimanded. Leana laughed.

"Alright, fine. Only because I love you," She winked. Sarah rolled her eyes and moved on to take an order from a new customer. I continued chatting with Leana for a while until a customer hailed me for an order of chips and a sandwich.

As I tossed the chips in a basket I heard the bell ring and the whoosh of winter air.

"I've got it, Sarah!" I called. She nodded and I gave the food to the other customer. I wiped my oily fingers on my apron and turned my attention to the new customer who was now kicking the snow off his boots. I startled as he turned and I realized I recognized him.

Remus spotted me and looked confused for a moment, but smiled. He walked over and sat down on one of the stools.

"How goes it, Roman?" He asked, plucking the gloves from his fingers.

"Good," I said, "What'll it be, Moony? Butterbeer?" I said, taking the pencil from behind my ear to take his order.

"Sure. That and... let's see... the number five," He said, looking at the chalkboard menu behind me.

"Chips with that?" I asked.

"Why not?" He said. I tore the paper from the pad and took it to the kitchen window.

"A number five with chips!" I called in.

"You got it!" Dave called back. He was one of the cooks. I walked back and poured Remus a butterbeer. He seemed keen on a conversation so I stayed around seeing as there seemed to be a shortage of customers at the moment.

"So," He started, giving me a peculiar look. "You've got a job." I nodded, polishing silverware.

"Yep," I said.

"Why?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I needed the money,"

"So it wasn't to study your O.W.L.s then?" He said, grinning, tilting his head. I grinned back.

"Nope. That was just to keep the others from worrying. I don't need any charity," I said, with a hint of bitterness. He smiled into his drink.

"You aren't worried I'm going to give you charity?" He smiled, softly.

"You know better," I said. He laughed, quietly but his eyes seemed not to follow. Someone called out for a refill so I excused myself for a moment and served the customer. When I came back, Remus had out a book.

"What are you reading?" I asked.

"In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust," He said.

"Sounds interesting," I remarked. He nodded.

"It is,"

"Can I borrow it when you're done?" I asked.

"Sure," He said, without looking up. It was a rather lengthy book, I noted. My favourite kind.

"Number five with chips!" Dave called from the kitchen window. I walked over and took it in one hand, and a bottle of ketchup in the other and walked over to Remus, setting it in front of him. He closed his book and began to eat.

"So are you coming to Prongs' house for Christmas Eve?" Remus asked. I nodded nonchalantly.

"Yeah. It should be fun," I said. He nodded, but he had the look in his eyes that made you think he was thinking about something else.

We continued to talk until he had finished his food. I calculated his bill and he paid. He gave me a rather large tip and I reacted accordingly with a non-committal hum. He gave me a short smile.

"Happy holidays," He said, bidding me goodbye.

"You too. See you tomorrow," I said.

"See you tomorrow," He waved and disappeared into the snowy outside. Sarah sidled up to me.

"Friend of yours?" She asked.

"Yup," I said.

"He seems nice," She remarked and began helping me in cleaning off the glasses.

"He is," I said, and smiled.

Work ended and I bundled up in a thick cloak and headed out the door, bidding Rosemerta farewell. It was cold outside, obviously, and my feet soon grew numb. It wasn't far to the castle, but it was just far enough for it to be inconvenient in bad weather.

As I struggled through the snow, my mind whirled around to tomorrow. Jame had said it was a casual affair for which I was very grateful. If it was just us five I wouldn't want it to be anything else. The looming figure of the castle grew closer and closer until I arrived at the double doors. I entered the castle and breathed in the warm air.

I brushed the snow off me and headed for the common room. Not many people stayed for winter break. Most people went home to celebrate with their families, which was understandable. I soon reached the portrait hole, not meeting anyone else in the hallways and entered. There were only five other Gryffindors staying at Hogwarts this year and three of them were siblings.

I didn't know any of them very well, and vice versa so we stayed out of each other's way. No one from my year had stayed, so it got a bit lonely sometimes and when those times came I snuck into the kitchens to chat with the house elves.

I didn't feel particularly lonely today, so I decided to just hang out in my dorm. I showered and took a nap because work drains me quite a bit and by the time I woke up, it was time for dinner. I headed out of the common room and into the Great Hall. The food was gorgeous today, it was a delicious clam chowder and they had rolls that were so good, I took a couple for later.

After that, I walked back to my dorm. I had checked out a ton of books from the library before break and I had a huge stack of them at the foot of my bed. I was currently reading a book called The Odyssey by Homer and I was really hoping to get a few more chapters in before I did my homework and went to bed.

I reached the portrait hole and I had to wait a couple minutes because the Fat Lady had disappeared into a portrait on the third floor. She arrived huffing and puffing.

"Pass... password?" She panted. I smiled.

"Silver bauble," I said. She nodded and swung open. I entered and walked up to my dorm. When I arrived, there was an owl pecking at my window. I sighed and let it in. It stuck out its leg where a letter was attached and I untied it.

_Dear Miss Brooks,_

_I do hope you are well, and I appreciate your payment for your mother's medicine last week. Unfortunately, I write to inform you that she has gotten sick again, and this time it's a lot worse. Nothing deadly, I assure you, but it is rather bad. The medicine that she needs is around seven galleons and I'm going to need it by tomorrow if we hope for quick recovery. Happy holidays,_

_Healer Marta_

I swore. Seven galleons was at least a week's wage. That would take away almost half of what I had earned so far. Continuing my string of swears and curses, I rooted around in my trunk for a piece of parchment and a quill.

_Dear Marta,_

_Thank you for notifying me of this problem, there is a check enclosed for seven galleons. Please keep writing and updating me on my mother's condition. Thank you for your work._

_Happy Holidays,_

_Iris Brooks_

I grabbed a new piece of parchment.

_I, Freya Brooks, wife of the late Jacob Brooks, and with the authorization of my inheritance, write a check to Marta Mondragon for seven galleons._

_Vault number: 685_

_Account number: 390H0r098_

I took out my wand and cast a hiding spell on the last line, the bank, of course, would use a revealing charm to read it. I then put both papers in an envelope and tied it around the owl's ankle. I opened the window again and it flew off, soon disappearing into the snowy sky. I closed it and sat on my bed, head in my hands. I swore again.

Why did she have to be sick all the bloody time? It was bad enough that I had to hire and healer for nine months a year, why did she have to be _sick_? I rubbed my temples, frustratedly. I didn't feel like reading anymore. I also didn't want to do my homework. I was tired. And frustrated.

I changed into my pyjamas and laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Merlin. I also had that accursed party tomorrow. I covered my eyes with my arm.

_Go to sleep,_ I told myself, firmly.

I tried. I tried to sleep, but the guilt and awfulness dug into my stomach. I was so done with everything around me. I hated all of it. I took a breath, trying to calm myself. Being angry was exhausting. I rolled over and faced the empty room. It was quiet. The storm outside had silenced. I wished it hadn't. I could use some violent winds right about now.

I sighed again and felt my chest lift and fall. I was tired. And angry. But my sleepiness overcame my frustration, and I fell asleep soon after.

I had a dream that night. When I woke up, I couldn't remember it. I wish I had. It had been such a good dream.


	23. A Very Happy Christmas

Christmas eve. Work was very easy today, not many people came in. Which was good, because I was slightly preoccupied thinking about tonight. I was genuinely excited, it's just— I never really celebrated Christmas. In fact, I hadn't for several years.

"Iris!" Rosmerta called. "Your coffee break is now." She said. I nodded my head to let her know I had heard and walked through the back doors leading to the kitchen.

"Sup, boys?" I greeted the three cooks on shift today. They waved but quickly went back to work.

"Coffee break, Iris?" Jake asked. I nodded, hanging my apron on the hook and signing out on the sheet hanging beside it. "See you in a bit!" He called back as I left. I waved behind me and came around the counter. I grabbed my coat from the walking coat hanger and swung out the door.

I was immediately hit with a cold wind and I pulled my collar up to my chin. I felt snowflakes landing on my eyelashes and blinked to get rid of them. Since I only had ten minutes for my coffee break, I went somewhere close. I entered Honeydukes and greeted the owners. I had gotten to know everyone around Hogsmeade in my time working here. After all, lunchbreak got rather boring if you didn't visit other places. I tended to jump around.

"Ah, Iris. Coffee break I assume?" Asked the pudgy Mrs Flume. She was a kind lady, and she and her husband co-owned the place.

"Yes, ma'am," I smiled, plucking the gloves from my fingers.

"Would you like anything?" Mr Flume asked, rooting around in the shelves behind the counter. I laughed, kindly.

"No, thank you. I haven't the money. I just came by to say hi." I supplied. Mrs Flume shook her head.

"Nonsense, dear. Here have these, free of charge," She said and grabbed a rather large package of peppermint chocolate from a shelf.

"Oh, I couldn't possibly—" I started, but she interrupted me.

"Just consider it an early Christmas gift," She smiled and forced the package into my hands. I raised an eyebrow, reluctantly reproachful.

"You know I don't accept Christmas gifts," I said. Mr Flume just shook his head.

"Just take it. It's really no trouble. You're such a kind girl," He said. I reluctantly put it in my pocket knowing full well it would do no good to protest.

"Thank you," I said gratefully. I glanced down at my watch. "Oh, I should be going back. Happy Christmas." I waved and pulled on my gloves.

"Happy Christmas," They said together and waved back. I opened the door and braved the cold.

Around two hours later my shift was done and I headed back to Hogwarts. Just as my toes were growing numb, I reached the castle and stepped inside. I kicked the snow off my unfortunately soaked shoes and made my way back to the commons. I passed Professor McGonagall on the way and we wished each other a happy Christmas.

I made my way to the portrait hole and entered, immediately heading up the stairs to my dorm. I had an hour or so before James' party started. I took just one look in the mirror and jumped in the shower. My hair was a tangled mess from all the wind.

Once I was done showering, I blow-dried my hair and pulled on a thick green sweater and jeans. Because my other shoes were now soaked, I grabbed my other pair of converse which were red, and pulled them on over long thick socks that I had pulled up over my jeans. I checked my watch. I still had ten minutes, but I'd rather be early than late. I grabbed my bag, because I never went anywhere without it, and my wand.

I jumped down the stairs to the common room. It was empty, which came as no surprise to me. I walked up to the blazing fireplace and took a small fistful of floo powder. I threw it into the flames and watched as the orange-red flames turned bright green. I stepped in and said as clearly as I could;

"The Potter's house," In a moment I was whisked away in the flames and soot. I had the urge to cough but fought it. I held tight to my bag to keep it from slipping off. In a matter of seconds, I stumbled out of the chimney onto a carpet. I blinked for a moment and brushed the hair out of my eyes. A head popped in from around the corner.

"Oh, hey! Iris, we're in the kitchen right now. Come on," James said, gesturing for me to follow him. I did so and he lead me through the hallways of what was very obviously an expensive house. Perks of being a pureblood I supposed. We entered the kitchen where the others sat eating what looked like fresh cookies and milk.

"Help yourself," James said, gesturing at the large plateful of chocolate chip cookies. I did so and sat down next to Remus who had a stack of seven cookies beside his glass. I raised an eyebrow at him and he just smiled.

"Nice house you've got, Prongs," I said, nodding, glancing around the room. It was pristine but homely. Mr and Mrs Potter obviously cared about family. There were photos of James and his parents scattered around the house. There was the occasional photo with friends too and I spotted one with myself in it. I vaguely remembered when it was taken. It was just when school had gotten out for summer break in my third year and we were on platform nine and three-quarters. James had grabbed my hand, pulled me over to his parents and just said 'smile!'. I was surprised to see it was actually a pretty nice picture.

"Is Iris here?" A voice came and entered the room. It was a friendly looking woman who spoke and James turned.

"Yes, mum," He said, grinning.

"Ah, hello then," A man who was obviously James' father spoke. "You must be the girl James' talks about so much." He said and shook my hand. I could see James turning a bit red and Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. I just laughed.

"I must be. I hope everything he says is to your liking," I said, smiling. It was his turn to laugh.

"It's always good, I assure you," he smiled looked at James who hid his face.

"You didn't do her justice, James. She's even prettier in person," Mrs Potter said, winking at me. I laughed and turned to James.

"Gosh, Prongs. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you fancied me," I grinned as Sirius snorted so hard, milk came out of his nose. James just hit his head against the counter. Mrs Potter's eyes twinkled.

"Well. We'll leave you kids to your fun. Be responsible," She said and eyed Sirius when he snorted again. "Or at least as responsible as it is possible for you to be." The couple left the room and I sipped my milk turning to James, whose face was still pink.

"'Prettier in person'. Such a title," I said, shaking my head, holding my glass of milk carefully. James managed a grin but frowned when Sirius spoke.

"Funny. They said the same thing about me," He said, draining the last bit of milk from his cup. I laughed.

"Well. What do we have planned then?" I said, stealing another cookie from the plate.

"Dunno. I was just going to wing it, to be honest. We've got loads of board games in the closet if we want to play those later. We could watch a movie too." James said, shrugging.

"You know what movies are?"

"What's a movie?"

Peter and I said at the same time. James scoffed at me.

"Of course, I know what movies are. I may be a wizard, but my dad prides himself on knowing about things from both worlds," He said all this nonchalantly.

"A movie is sort of a portrait but they act out things like in plays," Remus explained to Peter.

"Sounds fun," I said, nodding. I was glad. I just wanted a relaxing Christmas Eve. "What time is this going to go to?" Remus shot me a concerned look.

"Don't tell me you have work tomorrow. You're working yourself too hard," He said. I rolled my eyes.

"No, I don't have work tomorrow. I was just curious," I said.

"You have a job?" James asked. I nodded. "Why?"

"I need money," I said, obviously.

"Where at?" Sirius asked.

"Three Broomsticks," Remus supplied. Everyone nodded. I stood rather suddenly.

"Who's up to be beaten in a game of chess?" I asked. Sirius launched his hand into the air.

"Merlin, yes," he said. We all headed to the living room, Remus grabbing the plate of cookies, and James showed us where the board games were. I quickly grabbed wizard's chess and set it up.

"You ready to be destroyed, Padfoot?" I said, cracking my knuckles.

"Not on your life," He said, smirking. We immediately jumped into a game. Not many people know this about me, but I am a champion chess player. I simply dominate. Sirius quickly realized this and made one desperate attempt after another to gain the upper hand. He never did.

"Aaaand checkmate," I said. Sirius groaned, glancing all over the board for a way out. There wasn't one.

"Merlin," He swore. I grabbed a cookie from the plate. We hadn't even made a dent in the cookies yet, there were still tons piled up.

"I'll have a go," James said, grinning.

"You're on," I grinned at him. I quickly re-set the board and we jumped into another game. James was even easier to beat. "Checkmate," I said. James held his head in his hands.

"No way," He stared at the board. "How...?"

"I'm just that great," I said, grinning. "Remus, you wanna go?" He studied the board for a moment.

"Sure," He accepted. Remus was much harder to beat. I had to use almost every single strategy I had to beat him, but I eventually did.

"You're good," I told him.

"Eh. I'm average," He said, shrugging.

"I'm bored," James whined. I raised an eyebrow.

"Then what do you suppose we do, Prongs?" I inquired. His eyes acquired a mischievous glint.

"How about Truth or Dare?" He suggested. We all agreed, Peter less enthusiastically but whatever.

"Who's first?" I yawned. It was getting rather late.

"Me!" Sirius volunteered. "Iris, truth or dare?"

"Truth," I said. Sirius thought for a moment.

"What's one thing that you regret?" He asked. I tilted my head, rolling the question around in my head.

"It would have to be that time I tried diving to the bottom of the black lake. I swear I had the sucker mark from the giant squid for months," We all laughed, recollecting the memory. I had had to go to the hospital wing to make sure it didn't leave permanent scarring. "Remus, truth or dare?" I asked. He thought for a moment.

"Dare," He said. I ran several ideas through my head.

"I dare you to try to walk on your hands," I said. Remus raised an eyebrow but stood and attempted to do so. He got maybe a foot's distance before tumbling into Sirius and falling over.

"Ow," He said, pulling down his sweater which had ridden up. "Gah. Peter truth or dare?"

This continued for several hours. Some dares I had gotten were 'compete in a push-up contest against Sirius'. I had won. 'chug this entire bottle of Butterbeer in five seconds' which I had just narrowly missed with seven seconds, and 'if you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be?' I said the ability to know things exactly when I needed them.

Eventually, we all got bored and James decided to take us down to the basement where the TV was. We decided on a movie, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail', and James' parents came down with a bunch of food, including several pizzas, Butterbeer, hot chocolate, crisps, popcorn, M&M's (Which I was surprised to learn was one of James' favorite candies), ice cream, and even more cookies.

We started the movie and I pulled a large fuzzy blanket around myself and sat down on the couch next to James. I could feel him move a bit to give me room, which was entirely unnecessary, I had more than enough. I grabbed a piece of pizza and glanced at Peter and Sirius who were both mesmerized by the movie.

As the movie went on, I found myself growing more tired. I hadn't slept well the night before, and I was tired. I found myself leaning against James' shoulder.

"Sorry, is this bothering you?" I whispered.

"Not at all," He whispered back. I smiled and we continued watching the movie. We were at the part where the rabbit is killing everyone so they have to use the holy hand grenade to kill it. Honestly, it's one of the strangest movies in existence but one can't help but enjoy it.

All too soon, it was over. No one really wanted to leave just yet so we sat around talking. By that time it was two in the morning. I was yawning at almost every other sentence. I couldn't remember climbing onto James' lap, but that's where I was currently, my head resting against his chest. I could hear his heart beating double time. It amused me vaguely.

"I've got to go," Said Remus, glancing at his watch. My parents won't be happy if I sleep in on Christmas." He bid us goodbye and left the room, Peter following, muttering something along the same lines.

"Happy Christmas!" I called out sleepily after them. Sirius laughed, quietly.

"You drunk, Roman?" He asked.

"Of course not," I retorted. "I'm just sleepy," I yawned. He and James both laughed. "Stop laughing. You're being a terrible pillow." I told James. He smiled. Sirius got up and stretched.

"I've got to go too. I don't want my mum flipping out on me again. See you back at Hogwarts I suppose," He said.

"Happy Christmas," I muttered.

"Happy Christmas," James said. I slowly came to the realization that it was just me and James now. And that we were cuddling... sort of. I sat up, slowly.

"Hullo," I said, rubbing my eyes.

"Hullo," James said, laughing.

"Were we just cuddling?" I inquired.

"I dunno. Depends on your definition of cuddling," He grinned at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Well. Whatever," I said, rolling off him and onto the floor. He joined me, laughing.

"I don't think you should fall asleep here," He said, eyebrow raised.

"I don't think I should either," I said, attempting to get up. But It was too hard, so I sat back down. "I'm really tired."

"I can see that," James said, laughing silently. "Do you need help getting to the fireplace?" I nodded. He stood and I took his hand. We walked up the stairs and I woke up a little more. Goodness, what was I doing?

We made it to the fireplace and We stood in front of it for a moment.

"Well. Happy Christmas," James said, adjusting his glasses and giving me a smile.

"Happy Christmas," I said, and before I could think about what I was doing, I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. I grabbed a fistful of floo powder and threw it in the flames. "Gryffindor common room," I said, leaving James in his living room, unconsciously rubbing the cheek I had just kissed.

I got to the common room in a blink of an eye and the second I got there I went up to my room and collapsed on my bed, falling asleep in a matter of seconds. I was tired, after all.


	24. Mixed Signals

I had to have been drunk. Tipsy. _Something_. Why else would I have kissed James? Granted, it had been on the cheek, but why was I that _stupid?_ Why? Why had I thought that was a good idea? It was a terrible idea. What kind of mixed signals was I sending James?

Merlin.

_Merlin_.

I stared at the ceiling above my bed, revelling in my idiocy. I didn't even know why I had done it. I didn't like him, at least not romantically. So why had I done it? _Why_? I cursed.

It was Christmas so I didn't have work. I was currently laying in my bed. I didn't have the willpower to move just yet.

"I am an idiot," I said out loud. I was probably overreacting. Probably. I mean, James had kissed my cheek at least twice now, and his 'crush' was all a show.

Wasn't it?

I cursed again and finally sat up. I shook my head and sighed. I got up and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I was soon done and found that I was too lazy to blow-dry it so I pulled in into a wet bun. I pulled on a crimson sweater over a blue pinstriped button up and put on my usual jeans. I decided to wear my white converse today over very thick, fluffy socks. I loved winter.

I grabbed some parchment and a quill and headed downstairs intent upon finishing the charms essay professor Flitwick had assigned over break. I reached the bottom of the stairs and sat on the couch before the blazing fireplace. There was a plate of cauldron cakes on a platter on the coffee table. I took one and began nibbling it as I began scribbling the first paragraph.

I soon finished the essay, after all, it was an easy assignment and I was very good at charms. I sat, looking into the flames for a couple minutes before taking out my wand.

"Accio 'A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'," I said, waving my wand. A second ticked by and out zoomed my book. It was a really good one, by Douglas Adams. His descriptions were so immersive and the plot so amusing I often got lost in the book for hours on end.

I began reading and continued with the cauldron cakes until I heard a small tapping noise on the window. Looking up, I saw an owl pecking at the pane. Sighing, I put down my book and got up. I opened the window and let the bird hop in. It was carrying a package and it was addressed to me. I untied the thing and the own hopped onto my shoulder as I sat down to open it.

I never had the money to buy my friends Christmas gifts, so every year I told them not to get me one. The first year I told them this, everyone ignored me and sent me gifts. I had sent them back. The next year was the same. The third year was when they finally got it and stopped sending me things. I honestly didn't mind. I knew they were still my friends and no matter what gifts they might've gotten me, it didn't hurt our friendship. I simply could not afford gifts and if they sent _me_ gifts I would feel guilty.

The only person who had managed to wiggle out of this rule was Remus. He simply knew me too well. Every year he paid rapt attention to the books I was yearning to own. It didn't matter if I was on guard and never mentioned a book, Remus always knew what I wanted. And so, every year he sent me a book I couldn't resist, one I could not bear to send back. I reprimanded him for it every year, but he just smiled and every Christmas sent me a new one. And I kept them. Because who can resist a good book?

I was surprised to see that this package was not from Remus. In fact, it had no name on it. Suspicious, I tried all the revealing spells I knew to see if there was some dark magic or something. There was nothing, so I opened the package precautiously. Inside, there was a letter and a rather large box of chocolate.

I opened the letter.

_Hello, Love._

_Yes, yes. I know. You don't want me to send you gifts, but I couldn't help it this year. And I also know there is no way you'll send back chocolate. I got a few tips from Moony. Anyway, I'd just like to say I really enjoyed last night. I hope you did too._

_Happy Christmas,_

_Prongs._

There was a little heart next to 'Love'.

My heart was doing something very funny. I was angry that he had bought me a gift but also very flattered. _I really enjoyed last night._ I blushed, alone in the common room. What exactly had he enjoyed? Was he thinking of something specific? I hoped he wasn't, but at the same time, I sort of... did.

I cursed my strange mind and shook my head, re-reading the letter. My eyes seemed to linger over 'Love' a little longer than I wanted to admit. I sighed and took out a spare sheet of parchment.

_Dear Potter,_

 _Thank you for the chocolates, you are right, I will be keeping them. But_ please _take my request seriously next year. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I might be forced to punch you if you do._

_Happy Christmas,_

_Roman_

_P.S. I did enjoy last night, thanks for inviting me_

I looked over the letter, trying to see just how exactly James would take my P.S. I debated the sentence but decided to send it anyway. I tied the letter to the leg of the owl that was still on my shoulder and I opened the window again. The bird flapped its wings, nearly smacking me in the face with them, and flew off. I closed the window after it.

I should've left it open because less than a minute later, another owl flew up. I got up and let it inside. This one _was_ from Remus. It was, of course, a book I had been dying to read. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Márquez.

I smiled and sent the owl back with a thank you note and began to read.

_'Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice...'_

Hours later, I had grown hungry and resolved to head to the Great Hall for lunch. I took my book with me. I couldn't bear to put it down, so I read as I walked. A dangerous habit for those without practice, but I was a master. I soon reached the Great Hall and propped the book against a pitcher.

I ate as I read. I read as I ate.

I soon finished my food and headed back to the common room. I again read as I ambled through the hallways.

"Silver bauble," I said when I reached the portrait hole. She swung open and I walked through, without looking up from my pages. I wove between the pieces of furniture and sat down on the couch before the fire. I flipped a page.

"You're not even going to say 'hi'?" A voice to my left inquired. I jumped and almost lost my page.

"What are you doing here?" I asked James, hand on my chest. James, who was lazing in one of the armchairs, smirked.

"Oh, my parents just left for New York. They're visiting their parents," He said, waving his hand around.

"And you didn't bother to tell me this?" I asked, shaking my head. He raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I was going to, but I figured this would take less time," He smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Right. Right..." I said, still trying to calm my heart from his little jump scare. It didn't seem to be going away.

"Hey, I was just about to head to the gym. Care to join me? It'll be like old times," He said, standing. He tilted his head, smiling. I shook my head slowly.

"I dunno, I was reading this book..." I said, gesturing. He raised an eyebrow.

"Is that the book Remus got you? You're already halfway through it," He said, almost shocked.

"It's a good book," I said, sticking out my tongue. He laughed.

"C'mon. It'll be fun," He said, grinning. I grumbled.

"Fine. But only because I haven't boxed in weeks," I said, pointing a finger to his chest. He laughed.

"Sure. Meet back here?" He asked. I nodded and headed up to my dorm. What was I doing? I grabbed my workout clothes. I would change there, it was too cold to walk there in them. I stuffed them in my workout bag and swung on my coat. I jumped down the stairs to where James was waiting for me. He had his bag over his shoulder.

We walked out together and I noticed an Appleby Arrows patch on his bag.

"You follow the Arrows?" I asked. he glanced at me.

"Yeah. They're a great team. Why?" He asked. I shrugged.

"No reason, I'm just a fan of the Holyhead Harpies," He glanced at me.

"You are?" He asked, smiling.

"Obviously. They're the best," I said, eyebrow raised, contemptuously. He smirked.

"No, they aren't," He tilted his head.

"Yes, they are. And they're totally going to beat the Arrows this year," I scoffed. He shook his head.

"No, they're not. We beat them last year," He said with a grin.

"That was only because Gwendolyn Morgan was injured," I said, hotly. "If she hadn't, we would've wiped you off the field." James narrowed his eyes at me.

"No, it was because Markus Pierson joined the team," James said. I shook my head.

"You just don't want to face that fact that the Harpies are a better team!" I yelled out the last part like an announcer. James just rolled his eyes.

"Lies! All lies," He yelled too, but in a funny voice. I shook my head and laughed.

"Sure. Go on believing that," I said. James smiled.

"I will," He said, confidently lifting his chin. We had reached the double doors by now and pushed them open, braving the cold. The wind made it rather hard to talk so we kept silent as we walked up the path to the Quidditch pitch. We soon reached it and we entered the locker rooms.

We changed in the separate boys and girls rooms and walked through into the small gym. We stretched together as usual. We chatted about Quidditch and what New York was like and chocolate and aeroplanes. After stretching we split up for our different routines. James turned on the radio and a song by The Hobgoblins began to play.

I wrapped my hands and began with the usual four punches. I warmed up pretty quickly and hastened my pace. _Jab, Cross, Hook, Uppercut._ So on, so forth. I began to switch it up a bit and as I did James strung up a conversation.

"What book did Remus get you?" He asked, breathily. He was doing chin-ups and I glanced over for a second.

"A Hundred Years of Solitude," I said, returning to the punching bag.

"Sounds boring," He said. I shot him a nasty look. He raised his hands, defensively.

"It's not, actually," I said, stiffly.

"What's it about?" He asked.

"It's sort of about the history of this town called Macondo and this family, the Buendías. They don't really have any interaction— with... with the outside world... so modern tech isn't really— really available. There are gipsies though... and they share a few things with them. Anyway— I've just gotten to the part where they're beginning to adapt— adapt technologies into their society... and it's... causing problems. It's really interesting, actually— I can't set it down," I said, panting. It was hard to talk and punch things at the same time. James was having the same issue.

"Sounds brilliant," He groaned, hands on his knees. "Merlin, it's hot in here." He stopped for a moment and took off his shirt. I was caught off guard and sort of checked him out in the corner of my eye.

_You idiot._ I admonished myself and looked away.

We kept exercising for a bit and then took a break. I was finding it hard to concentrate on my reps for some reason. I glanced at James who was taking a drink from his water bottle. A song by The Bent-Winged Snitches was playing in the background and I tried to focus on that instead of the shirtless boy in front of me.

"I think I'mma do weights after this," I said, more to myself than anyone else. Gah, it was getting hot in here. I took off my shirt, so I was just wearing my sports bra. "Ah. That's better." I said, sighing.

I glanced at him again. He was very red. I assumed it was from working out, but he hadn't been that red before then...

"Let's get to work then, shall we?" I said, clapping my hands together. I began with simple pushups.

"How many pushups can you do?" James inquired. I glanced at him.

"More than you," I smirked. He laughed.

"Wanna go?" He said with a grin.

"Sure, why not?" I said. He seemed slightly surprised but got down on the floor next to me. "Three, two, one, go!" We were tied for a while, but then James began to slow down ever so slightly. I didn't have a lot of muscle, but what I lacked in strength, I made up for in endurance.

"Gah, I can't," James rolled over onto his back, panting.

"Ha...ha," I said, rolling over too. "I— win."

"Not by much," James complained, turning over on his side to look at me.

"Doesn't matter. I'm still the best," I breathed heavily.

"You are, aren't you?" He said, rolling back over on his back. I glanced at him. He was staring at the ceiling.

"Of course I am," I said, grinning.

"Of course you are," He breathed, quietly. I smiled quietly to myself. It was impossible to know what was going on in his head.

"You can probably do more chin-ups than I can," I said with a laugh.

"Probably," He nodded, grinning. I checked my watch.

"It's getting a bit late. Well, at least it's an hour till dinner and I'd like to shower before then," I said, standing up with a huff. James did the same.

"Yeah," He agreed. We gathered up our stuff and James turned off the radio in the middle of a Spellbound song. We pulled on our coats and began to trudge back up to the castle. It didn't take long to reach it and we quickly reached the portrait hole.

"It's 'silver bauble', right?" James asked me. I nodded, yawning. Excercise made me yawn for some weird reason. "Silver Bauble," James said to the Fat Lady. She swung open and we entered.

"See you at dinner," I said, heading up to my dorm.

"See you," He replied.

(James' POV)

Merlin, how did she manage to look so flawless working out? I was sure I was a sweaty mess. Disgusting. I walked up to my dorm and pushed open the door. I threw my bag onto my bed and entered the bathroom.

I stripped and jumped into the shower, letting the warm water wash over me.

 _She"s so perfect,_ I thought. And it was true. No one could look at her and not think it.

I wonder what she thought of me?


	25. Tension

Everyone was back at school now. The Christmas break was over, but my job was not. I only worked weekends now, plus Fridays if things got busy. It was a bit difficult balancing my job, school, homework, and Quidditch practice all into one schedule, but I made it work. I had to.

"ROMAN!"

"WHAT?" I screamed back crossly. James hovered in the air, quaffle under his arm.

"For Merlin's sake, stop staring into space. I was just explaining the new strategy," He griped. I rolled my eyes.

"Pardon me, captain," I said sarcastically. Sirius grinned.

"Anyway. We need to practice this as many times as possible. Our match against Hufflepuff is next week and they're actually doing really well this year. We need to be prepared. Richard, you need to work on faking a lot more. The Hufflepuff chasers this year are notorious for faking, and it'll be easier to block if you're good at that too,

"Mel—Genevive. You need to work on faking as well. Pretend to see the snitch to distract the other seeker. Also, keep in mind he tends to get in your way. He blocks, that's his only strong tactic. Make sure he can't.

"Iris," He paused, tilting his head at me. "Actually, you're fine. You know what to do," I grinned and winked at him. Sirius grumbled. "Sirius, work on distancing yourself from us," He pointed at me and himself. "The Hufflepuffs work better in groups, we've got to keep them apart from each other.

"Fabian, Gideon. You're probably fine too but work on defending the team more than hitting them. The Hufflepuffs are huge on offence. Alright," James surveyed the team, one hand over the quaffle, one on his broom. "Let's get to it then."

James threw the ball to me. I caught it and immediately raced off to the goal. Merlin. I _love_ quidditch.

"I am exhausted," I announced, throwing open the door to the dorm. Marlene, Lily, and Mary looked up.

"You _look_ exhausted," Marlene remarked, turning back to the task at hand. She was painting her toenails a dark burgundy colour.

"Thanks," I said, plopping down on my bed. I grabbed the water bottle I had carried with me and began draining it. Lily shut her book and gave me a look. "What?" I raised an eyebrow.

"What's with you and a certain boy named James Potter?" She asked. I almost choked on my water. I covered my mouth with my hand.

" _What_?" I asked, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"We _mean_ , why did Potter come back to school early just to spend time with you?" Mary asked, joining Marlene on the floor. She grabbed a blue polish.

"He did _not_ come back early because of me, his parents were going to New York," I spluttered. Marlene raised an eyebrow, doubtfully.

"No, they didn't. They had to cancel. I heard him and Sirius talking about it in the hall," She said. I carefully gauged my reaction.

"That can't be true..." I said slowly. The three girls gave each other looks. Very annoying ones that told me I was missing something rather obvious.

"He wanted to _see_ you," Mary said, laughing. 

"I—" I didn't know what to say. If the whole New York thing was true, James had cut his own Christmas break short to spend time with me. How... infuriating. And— somehow flattering. I sighed. "I'm going to go shower." I stood and ignored their protests and questions.

I shut and locked the door behind me, sighing and rolling my eyes. I quickly undressed from my sweaty quidditch robes and undid my hair. The waves fell over my shoulders and I gazed into the mirror, thinking while the shower water warmed up.

James did fancy me. I knew it, he knew it, so did everyone else. He was simply on a long distance safari, trying to catch the prize animal. No, that was a bad analogy. He had just picked me for some reason and was intent upon the idea of a relationship. But I didn't fancy him.

I didn't.

My eyebrows furrowed slightly as I gazed at my reflection. I liked myself. Personally, I was happy to say my confidence was high enough that I thought myself beautiful. I knew others might not agree, but that didn't matter to me. I liked my hair. It was a long brown mass that slowly curled into a faint auburn ombre. My eyes were a deep green that had sparkles of silver embedded near the pupils. I had so many freckles. So many. They shone dark against pale skin. I am half Irish, after all. I had a rather pointy nose that I sometimes liked, sometimes didn't, and lips. Normal lips, really.

I was definitely not the prettiest girl in Hogwarts. Marlene was probably, but I wasn't even _close_ to her level of gorgeousness. I couldn't understand why James had picked me. He had loads of fangirls after all, why not choose one of them?

And why the transfer from Lily to me in second year? Lily was a gorgeous, funny, talented girl. What had prompted him to make the change?

Maybe the boldness was it? Lily was an outgoing person, but she was still reserved sometimes. Me on the other hand, well. I'm never one to be quiet. Comebacks and sass are basically my second language. Maybe that was it.

But I didn't fancy him. Obviously. He was so— so... annoying. and... infuriating and... handsome though I hated to admit it. And nice. He was nice too...

_No, he isn't._ I thought, furiously. He's awful and conceited and... would never get a date with me. I shook my head, stepped away from the mirror, and got into the now warm shower. Thank goodness. I needed some peace and quiet. From myself too.

"Does anyone know the incantation for the fire-making spell?" Professor Flitwick inquired of the class. I raised my hand. "Yes, Miss Brooks." He pointed in my direction.

"Incendio, sir," I said, clicking my fingernails on my desk.

"Correct, ten points to Gryffindor. Now, this spells can be dangerous so I want you all to..." A paper plane landed on my desk. I scowled at James, who was pretending to pay attention, but even from across the room I could see his eyes occasionally flickering my way. I rolled my eyes and unfolded the paper aeroplane.

_'You. Me. The Astronomy tower. Midnight. Be there?'_

There were several hearts embellishing the note. I sighed, dipped my quill in my inkwell, and was about to write a very scathing note back when Professor Flitwick said my name.

"Yes, sir?" I asked, hurriedly putting down my quill. I could feel everyone's gaze on me. My heart was beating very fast. Had Flitwick seen...?

"Care to demonstrate?" He asked. I blinked.

"Yes... yes, sir, of course," I pulled out my wand. Turning in my chair slightly, just so that James could get a better view, I pinched the note's corner. "Incendio," I said, calmly. The note lit and I watched it turn to cinders on my desk. I looked over at James who was frowning. I smiled a quiet smile.

"Well done, Miss Brooks. Ten more points to Gryffindor," Professor Flitwick squeaked.

"Thank you, Professor," I said, not taking my eyes off James in a sort of standoff. I smirked, tilted my head. He was grinning now, chin in his hand. I smiled coyly and blew a kiss his way. He sat up, almost surprised. He mimed catching it in his fist. I shook my head at his awful flirtation and stuck up my middle finger. He laughed out loud and I turned back toward the front.

"What are you laughing about, Mr Potter?" Professor Flitwick asked, crossly.

"Nothing, professor. Pardon me," He grinned at his teacher, but glanced back at me. I didn't give him the satisfaction of a look.

"Out in the open, Roman!" Remus teased me. I gave him a look as I grabbed a baked potato from a tray.

"I was not flirting," I told him for the umpteenth time.

"Right. Sure. I believe that," Remus said, sarcastically.

"I was not," I repeated.

"Was too,"

"Was _not_ ,"

"Was _too_ ,"

"I wasn't," I muttered. Remus rolled his eyes and grabbed an apple from the middle of the table.

"How far have you gotten in that book I sent you?" He asked.

"I'm almost done, I just have maybe, fifty pages left," I replied.

"Already?" Remus asked, almost surprised.

"I'd already gotten through half of it the day you sent it, it's not that surprising. It's so good, though!" I exclaimed.

"What's so good?" James asked, sitting down in front of me.

"A Hundred Years of Solitude," I said, as he poured himself some pumpkin juice.

"Oh, that's the book you were talking about, right? The one about the ice and that family? What's the name... the Buendías?" He said, casually. I looked at him surprised.

"Yeah. You remembered?" I asked, genuinely impressed.

"Well, yes. I've started reading it myself," He said, grinning. I folded my arms.

"You have?" I asked, doubtfully.

"Yeah. I have. It's pretty good so far, I'm at chapter five or something. It's really good so far," He said, winking at me.

"Huh. I'm impressed, Potter. I didn't think you could read," I teased. He gasped theatrically, hand on chest.

"Of course I can! You think me a fool, do you? 'Tis a blemish toward my reputation!" He announced.

"Obviously. You act foolishly all the time, oughtn't I surmise you are one?" I grinned.

"Yeah, probably," He said, downing the rest of his pumpkin juice. "Well, I'd best be off. I need to talk to Professor McGonagall about something." He said, standing.

"About what? Detention?" I teased.

"No. Quidditch." He wiggled an eyebrow. "Bye." He said and swung out of the room. I watched him leave and turned back to Remus who was smiling to himself.

"And what do you call that?" He said, grinning.

"What?" He gave me a look. "That wasn't flirting!" I scoffed.

"Oh no? What was it then?" He laughed.

"Simply a conversation," I stated, taking a bite of potato.

"Full of sexual tension," Remus wiggled his eyebrows. I almost choked.

"Nope. But you know what is full of sexual tension? The dang book you got me, why didn't you warn me?" I reprimanded, avoiding his wanted conversation.

"Hey, you're mature. I thought you could handle it," He said, shrugging.

"How dare you fill this pure mind with dirty imaginings?" I declared. Remus snorted.

"Right. Pure. Tell me, what does this look like?" He held up his fingers in a circle and put a carrot stick through it. I grabbed it out of his hands and he laughed.

"Remus, not in front of the kids!" I gasped, theatrically.

"Have a pure mind do you?" He grinned.

"I did until you gave me that book," I stuck out my tongue.

"No, you didn't," He shook his head, smiling.

"Yeah, I didn't. Hey, you gonna ask out that Ravenclaw girl soon?" I asked. Remus spat out his drink. "Watch it!"

"How did you find out about that? I haven't told anyone!" He hissed.

"Oh, come on. It's obvious," I said. "She is really cute. You should do it." I encouraged. Remus shook his head, vehemently.

"I can't," He said.

"Why not?" I asked, laughing.

"Because... because of what I am," He whispered. I frowned.

"That doesn't matter—" I started. Remus interrupted, harshly.

"Yes, it does. My kind don't mate. Think. What would happen if I fell in love? It'd be a disaster," He muttered. I shook my head.

"Remus..."

"Look. It's just not going to happen. Drop it," He said, looking down.

"That's not a—" I said, slowly.

"Please," He said, avoiding my eyes. I bit my lip but didn't speak. after a long silence, Remus sighed. "I'm going to the library. See you later." He got up abruptly and practically ran out of the hall. I felt a small string in my heart snap. Why did things like this have to happen?


	26. A Broken Nose

I had taken to wandering the halls again. A habit that I picked up once in a while. When I was particularly bored, or I just needed some alone time with my thoughts. Also, I didn't get weird looks when I talked to myself this way.

It was one of those walks where I didn't really think. I just dazed my way through the halls, hands in my pockets. There are few moments like those, where you can just make your mind completely empty, deserted of any thoughts. It's calming.

Well. It was until I heard a shout from around the corner. I startled. Another sound came again joined by a laugh. I sped up my pace and turned the corner. There stood James and Sirius. James held a Slytherin boy against the wall, his wand pointed to his throat. Sirius was laughing, arms folded, eyes narrowed malevolently. The poor kid looked to be a second year and was glancing from the two of them, utterly terrified.

"—talking back to us like we're some scum at the bottom of your shoe," James was saying, tauntingly, threateningly.

"OI!" I yelled, pulling out my wand and pointing it directly into James' face. He turned startled.

"Iris! What're you doing—?" He started.

"Oh, don't you dare. Don't you bloody dare, what the bloody hell are you doing to this kid? Who the hell do you think you are?" I screamed. James let go of the kid's collar. He rubbed his neck, nervously looking from me to him. James was the one looking terrified now.

"Iris, it's not what you think, he was calling us names—" Sirius started, trying to calm me down. But I would not be calmed.

"OH, calling you _names_ , was he? Did that huwt youw feewings?" I taunted. "GROW UP, for Merlin's sake, he's just a kid! You've terrified him half to death!" Sirius zipped his lips, eyes widened. I was in a fury. I turned to the kid, kneeling down to meet his eyes. "Are you okay? Would you like me to heal that, or do you want me to take you to the hospital wing?" I asked him, quietly, nodding to the small cut he had on his cheek. His eyes widened a little bit, and he didn't speak. "Do you want to go to the hospital wing by yourself? Is that it?" I asked.

He nodded, ever so slightly.

"Alright. Don't be afraid to tell on them either. If they bully you again, you can come to me. I'll beat the pulp out of them," I assured him. His eyes were still wide, and he was still glancing behind me to James and Sirius, but he nodded again. "Alright, run along then," I said.

He sprinted away, leaving me to deal with _them_. I shot them a death glare. They both flinched.

"What is your guys' problem?" I whispered, threateningly. "Do you have any idea what that can do to a kid? What the f were you _thinking_?" I was raising my voice now.

"Iris. He's a Slytherin," James said as if this would make me see reason.

"Ah, yes. Because all Slytherins are trash, right?" I glared at them both. Sirius flinched. James. James the idiot, tried to explain himself.

"Yes...?" James said. I cursed. I cursed again.

"Oh yeah, every single person to go into Slytherin is a bully and a cheat and a smear to our existence, right? MERLIN, JAMES, HOW DAFT CAN YOU GET?" I screamed, right into his face. He blinked. "What is your problem? Do you realize how much of a terrible person you're being?" James was silent for a moment.

"Well, you can't blame us, he was talking back!" He started raising his voice. "He deserved it!"

"And it's your job to figure out who deserves what? You've never been fair, Potter. You're just an egotistical brat who thinks he's always right!" I screamed.

"For once, I agree with you, Brooks. You should listen to your girlfriend, Potter. She's got the right idea about things," A voice came from the side. There stood Malfoy, Snape, Black, Black, and Lestrange.

"I'd never be a girlfriend to an idiot like him, but I'm glad to see we're on the same page," I said, glaring at the pair before me, who were now glaring mutinously at the group. They glanced at me.

"You actually _agree_ with these people?" James asked me, appalled.

"Not all the time obviously, they're trash too. But guess what, Potter? Not all Slytherins are," I hissed.

"I disagree," Sirius said, glaring at his brother, who glanced back, emotionlessly.

"We don't, which really tells you something when we agree with a blood traitor," Malfoy glanced my way, wrinkling his nose as though he smelled something foul.

"I'm a half-blood, Malfoy. I can't be a blood traitor," I said, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms.

"Doesn't matter. You still should've been sorted with us," He said, tilting his head, juggling the amusing idea of me agreeing.

"Maybe. But even if I had, I'd never hang out with the likes of you," I said, sneering.

"Iris, what is he talking about?" James asked, slowly.

"Both my parents were Slytherins," I replied, ignoring his look of shock.

"Yes, it seems she doesn't have that much difference from Sirius's life, hm?" Malfoy sneered. I scoffed.

"Pretty different," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You'd be surprised," Malfoy said, with a twinkle of secrets in his eyes. I shifted my feet, uneasy because of his look. But what could he know? I tossed the idea away and turned to the problem boys.

"Doesn't matter. Potter, Sirius, I'm taking you to McGonagall. She can deal with you," I said, grabbing their sleeves and pulling them along behind me.

"Why don't you call him by his last name?" James whined.

"Because he doesn't like it," I said.

"Thanks, blood-traitor!" Malfoy called after me.

"No problem, racist scum!" I called back. I pulled the boys along for a while until they followed me voluntarily. James was pouting.

"Why'd you take their side?" He griped. I sighed.

"First of all, they sided with me. Second of all, you two were obviously in the wrong, here. Not them," I said.

"But they're Slytherins!" James said again, exasperated. I stopped, suddenly, causing Sirius to bump into me slightly. I turned on my heel and glared at James with the foulest look I could. He almost took a step back.

"I'm beginning to question who the racist one is," I seethed. James' mouth dropped open.

"I am not racist!" James said, to my back because I had turned around and begun to walk again.

"Maybe not, but you're still discriminating against a group of majorly innocent people," I said, folding my arms.

"Right, majorly innocent, sure," James said sarcastically. I stopped again but didn't turn.

"What. Is. Your. Problem?" I whispered, dangerously.

"Them, mostly," he said. Sirius gave a small chuckle but immediately ceased when I turned around. I looked James square in the eyes. I shook my head slightly.

And I punched him full in the face.

He fell over. I heard a crack and blood began spilling down his face. His hands covered the accused body part.

"Potter?" I said. He looked up at me, tears in his eyes from the pain. "I am so disappointed in you," His look of complete terror made me disgusted. I shook my head and pulled out my wand. "Episkey," I said. I heard a snap as his nose popped back into place and he yelped, quietly. "Let's go," I muttered, putting my wand away. I began to walk forward and two pairs of feet followed behind, no noise coming from either of them.

We reached McGonagall's office and I knocked, firmly. After a moment it opened.

"Sorry, to bother you professor, but I need to report a major bullying incident," I said. Professor McGonagall gaped at the sight of James and let us in.

"Who did that?" Professor McGonagall asked, nodding to James. I sighed.

"Me, professor," I said, shaking my head. She turned to me.

"You?" She asked, surprised.

"Yes, me, but that's not the problem. The problem is that these two bullied a second year Slytherin boy. Terrified him. They had him against a wall, wand pointed to his neck, and were taunting him," I supplied. McGonagall immediately forgot about James' injury.

"I am ashamed at you boys. I thought you would've moved on from this by now," She reprimanded, pulling out a detention slip. "Detention this weekend. I cannot _believe_ this," She muttered, scribbling on the piece of parchment. "Do you know who the child was?" She asked me. I shook my head.

"No, but he should've just checked into the hospital wing, he had a small cut on his cheek," I told her. He quill paused over the page.

"They drew blood?" She asked, appalled.

"Yes, Ma'am," I said. Her lips pursed.

"A week's detention," She said, finishing the slip. "I am disgusted, boys. I really thought you had let this go. You're in fifth year, you are not in the position to still be in this childish mindset." She glared at the both of them who bowed their heads, ashamed. She sighed. "Miss Brooks, you may leave," she said. I nodded and left.

If she didn't kill them, I would.

"Iris, I can explain," James said, trying to convince me over the dinner table. I shook my head.

"That you're a bully and a jerk who thinks he's better than everyone else because he's in the 'best house'? You don't need to explain yourself, Potter, your actions do that well enough," I said, cutting my chicken.

"Ooh, burn," One of the Prewett boys said, nearby.

"Oh, shut it, Prewett," James glared.

"No, let them talk. After all, they're in the 'good house', right, Potter?" I hissed.

"Iris, you've got this all twisted—" he started.

"Oh, I have, have I? Tell me. I'm interested in what you think you could say that would redeem yourself," I scoffed, taking a bite of my food.

"He provoked us, Iris. He did!" He said when I scoffed. "He was calling us names!"

"What are you, five? Name calling should not be enough to provoke malicious intent," I said, disgusted.

"Malicious intent is strong wording," James started.

"Oh, it is, is it? Tell me, what would you have done to that kid if I hadn't shown up, hm?" I said. James quieted. I ate more of my chicken.

"But Iris—"

"OH MY GOSH JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I'D RATHER SIT AT THE SLYTHERIN TABLE THEN LISTEN TO YOUR BULLCRAP ANY LONGER!" I screamed at him. The whole Great Hall stopped talking. They strained to hear James' response. He sat back, surprised.

"Why don't you then?" He said, glaring at his food. I scoffed, unable to form words. I pursed my lips. The Great Hall waited for my response. I cursed. I shook my head. I then grabbed my bag, packed it up, grabbed my plate full of food, and got up, heading for the Slytherin table.

The entire room was silent, watching me, watching James' reaction. I ignored this and sat down in front of Regulus Black, who blinked at me, surprised.

"Hello," I said, stiffly.

"Hello..." He replied, slowly. I began to eat my food, ignoring everyone until they all turned back to their meals and began to talk. I avoided Regulus's eyes.

"You don't have to talk to me if you don't to. I know you don't really like talking," I said, still not looking him in the eye.

"No...no, it's okay. How's Sirius doing?" He asked. I shrugged.

"He's doing okay. He's actually getting more than a P in potions this year, which is miraculous," I said, grinning. Regulus laughed.

"That's good," He said, grinning. Our conversation hitched for a moment.

"Sooo..." I started, glancing up and down the table. "How come you're hanging out with Malfoy and the others?" I asked, taking another bite of chicken. Regulus was quiet for a moment.

"I don't know," he said, simply. I paused, tilting my head.

"Okaaay," I said. I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged back at me. "Do you _like_ hanging out with them?" I asked.

"Not really," He said, pursing his lips. I raised my hands, flabbergasted.

"Then why are you hanging out with them?" I asked, exasperated. He was silent for a moment.

"I don't know," He said, finally.

I rolled my eyes, and then the hall went silent. I glanced behind me and saw James. James, striding over to the table. He sat down next to me. Staring at me, frustratedly. I folded my arms.

"What do you want?" I asked, glaring.

"I—" He stopped, realizing how many eyes were on him. "I wanted to say sorry," He whispered.

"Sorry?" I said, just loud enough so that the whole room could hear. James winced. "Hate to break it to you Potter, but I'm not the one you need to apologize to," I tilted my head. He looked at me blankly. I just raised an eyebrow. He got up, and walked down the Slytherin table over to the second year who's cheek was now healed. The kid leaned back a bit, scared. James stood, mustering up his wonderfully useful Gryffindor courage. He balled up a fist and then let it go limp.

"I'm sorry," He said, sincerely. Even I was surprised.

"What are you sorry for, Potter?" I called out. James winced again.

"I'm sorry for bullying you," He said, again, more sincerely than I had ever heard him be.

"And?" I called out again. James visibly sighed.

"I'm sorry for bullying you. I'm sorry for pointing my wand at you. I'm sorry for letting your little words trigger me like that. I'm sorry I pinned you against the wall. I'm sorry I caused you pain. I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm sorry for accidentally cutting your cheek. I. Am. Sorry,"

I was impressed. So was the entire room. Everyone was quiet. If you dropped a pin, you probably wouldn't have been able to hear it, just because pins are actually really quiet. But if you dropped a fork it would've seemed a lot louder than usual.

"Thank you," Said the boy really quietly. James nodded, awkwardly. He turned and walked toward me and stopped, facing me. I smiled, wryly.

"It's a start, Potter," I said in a quiet room. "It's a start,"

James smiled, ever so slightly.


	27. Walk and Talk

"PASS!" James yelled. I threw the quaffle at him, dodging a Hufflepuff player. The second to last game. The game of the season. This game would determine everything that needed to be done in the next game. I streaked after James, protecting him from the interfering Hufflepuffs. Sirius was doing the same but from the other side. James shot... and the keeper caught it. I cursed under my breath.

I looked into the sky, scanning for Genevive. She was hovering in the middle of the field, looking around for the snitch. I hoped she'd find it quick, the Hufflepuffs were winning by a lot, 110 - 30. I had the quaffle now, and I launched it at the goal. It went in, but barely.

The Hufflepuffs had it now. Sirius and I wormed between the players, keeping them away from each other. James was closely following the player with the quaffle. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Fabian launch a bludger at the guy. It raced toward him, but he dodged and passed to another player who swerved around me and scored. 120 - 30.

"C'mon, Genevive," I muttered, glancing up. The crowd suddenly started to go wild. I glanced. Genevive was racing toward the ground, following something I couldn't see. The Hufflepuff raced after her, gaining speed every second. Feet from the ground, Genevive pulled up. The Hufflepuff had no such time. He ran straight into the ground. The crowd cheered and booed.

A split second later, Genevive was raising her hand above her head.

"McGonagall has caught the snitch! Final score, 180 - 120, Gryffindor's favour!" All of a sudden a huge gasp was heard through the stadium. My eyes followed where they seemed to be pointing. Genevive was prostrate on the ground, her foot at an odd angle. A bludger was zooming away from the scene. Her face was screwed up in pain.

Richard was already at her side as I zoomed up.

"Are you okay?" I asked, kneeling by her. She grimaced.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My ankle's not though," She managed a laugh before hissing again from the pain.

No one knew who had hit the bludger. It seemed it had just targeted randomly.

Richard had taken off his shirt and wrapped it around her ankle, to keep it from receiving further injury.

"Thanks, Richie," Genevive said, face red, either from the pain or from the shirtless boy assisting her. I had my suspicion. Richard didn't say anything, but he smiled. Madame Hooch came over and gave her foot a once-over.

"Definitely broken," She tutted. "Do you think you can take her to the hospital wing, Mr King?" Richard nodded and I helped him help her up. She stood unsteadily on one foot. She wrapped her arm around Richard's shoulders and he gently held her around the waist to keep her from falling over. She smiled grimly and they made their way to the castle.

"Gah, they should just date already," I muttered.

"Agreed," James said, coming up beside me. He glanced at me. "Care to come in the locker room? I need to calculate how much we need to beat Slytherin by in the next game."

"Sure," I said. We made out way through the crowd and into the locker room, in front of the whiteboard. James began scribbling maths equations on the board, calculating the amount. He glanced over his work and moved over so I could check. I nodded, inspecting the numbers.

"It all looks correct," I said. I glanced at the total. "220 points? That's a tall order." I said, eyebrows furrowed.

"That's plus if we catch the snitch. We need to have 70 points before Genevive catches the snitch," I nodded, re-looking at his equations.

"Luck to us, then," I said, as James erased the board and followed me out. The crowds had left by now, and it was just us walking back up to the castle. James nodded, absentmindedly. The grass was finally green now. The last hints of winter had melted away and left plenty of plants and growing things behind. The beat down in a cold way. A way that said it wasn't ready to get hot yet.

"You still have that job?" He asked, hands in pockets. I glanced over at him as he adjusted his glasses.

"Yeah. Just weekends though," I said. He nodded again.

We soon reached the double doors and walked in. We made our way to the portrait hole and stepped through. Richard and Genevive weren't back from the hospital wing yet, apparently. I sat down next to Marlene. She was doing her bored look. Fingernail on lip, eyes almost unfocused, absent twiddling of her fingers. She was gazing at two people in the corner. Sirius and Scarlett. They were flirting with each other and were very obvious about it.

Sirius was a playboy, no doubt about it, but the most constant girl he'd had was Scarlett Atkinson. They had always been on and off and always flirted even when one was in a relationship.

"Jealous, are we?" I asked her.

"Hm?" Marlene asked, mindlessly. I just pointed at the two she was watching. She frowned. "No. Of course not, why would I be?" I just raised an eyebrow and pulled out my book. She ignored my looked and continued daydream about who knows what.

"Number two and a butterbeer!" I called to the back. Jack nodded at me as I stuck up the order on the sill. Business was great, as usual. Weekends tend to be. The bell rang from the front. "I've got it," I told Clarissa, the other server. She nodded.

I turned to take the man's order but stopped. I groaned.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing here?" I asked a smirking James Potter. He shrugged.

"Stopping by for a drink," he said, nonchalantly.

"Without your associates?" I asked. He shrugged again.

"It's nice to get out by myself sometimes," He grinned. I sighed and pulled out my notepad.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"A date with you, preferably, but if I can't have that, a butterbeer," I glared at his smirking face as I wrote that down.

"Anything else with that?" I asked, surreptitiously annoyed.

"No, thanks," James said. I strained not to roll my eyes but walked over to the correct station. I poured him and glass and set it in front of him. I moved away quickly, silencing any attempt he had trying to rope me in for a conversation.

"I'll trade you," I muttered to Clarissa. He glanced at James and shook her head,

"No, thanks. I'd rather stick with ole' tipsy here than him," She said, laughing.

"Gah! Why not?" I asked. She raised an eyebrow.

"He just _looks_ like trouble," she said. I silently agreed. James motioned for me to come over. I plastered on a fake smile and walked over.

"What do you want?" I said, almost not sarcastically. He grinned.

"A date," he said, simply.

"Don't. Just don't even right now. I've had to deal with a barfing baby today and more drunk guys than you can imagine. Do _not_ get on my nerves," I hissed. He raised his hands in defeat.

"Then a conversation would be nice," he said. I sighed.

"Prongs, I'm working right now. I can't just talk," I said. He sipped his drink.

"You don't seem very busy right now," He said, gesturing at the now-almost-empty building. Rush hour must have finished. I frowned.

"I'm still working, I have a job to do," I said, cleaning off the counter.

"I'm sure Madame Rosmerta wouldn't mind, she loves me," He said, and winked at the rotund woman. She wiggled her fingers back at him. I sighed.

"I just can't," I said, defeatedly.

"Sounds like me when I'm making excuses for not serving detention," James laughed. I glared.

"Potter," I said, under my breath. "I'll talk later. Right now, I need to work." I said. He nodded, raising his hands.

"Sure. When does your shift end?" He asked. I glanced at my watch.

"In an hour and a half," I said. He grinned.

"Perfect. I'll just wait until then," he raised his glass to me and took a drink. I rolled my eyes.

Surprisingly, he waited the full hour and a half. I got off my shift and walked behind the counter to stand in front of James, arms crossed.'

"Well? You wanted to walk and talk?" I said. He nodded, grinning, and stood, taking my hand. I huffed but allowed this. We reached the great lake before actually starting up a conversation.

"So I finished 'A Hundred Years of Solitude'," James said. I nodded, impressed.

"Did you really? What'd you think?" I asked. He glanced at me.

"It was really good. I didn't understand a lot of it, because it talked about muggle technology, but it was all very interesting," He said. I nodded.

"I've never read a book quite like it," I said. He agreed, nodding.

"I actually sort of wish it was longer. I've never read a book I want to keep reading," He said, swinging our arms. I rolled my eyes, smiling.

"Yeah. I feel the same way about most books," We both laughed. "So what's up with your parents? How are they?" I asked.

"They're doing well. The business is still selling, so that's good news," He nodded, absentmindedly. "They write to me a lot about you since you met, asking all sorts of questions." I laughed.

"What kinds of questions?"

"Oh, like what's your favourite colour, what book you're reading, whether or not I've asked you out again," he grinned at the last part. I rolled my eyes.

"Well. I'm glad to see they're interested," I nodded, smiling.

"Yeah," James said. We had a pause in our conversation as we stopped by a tree to gaze into the depths of the lake. James rolled back and forth on his heels. He muttered something, taking off his jacket and setting it next to the tree.

"What?" I asked, glancing at him. He looked at me.

"Oh, nothing," he said, shaking his head.

"No really, what did you say?" I asked, smiling, leaning against the tree. He turned, facing me.

"It was nothing," James said, turning red. I laughed.

"Ooh, Potter is blushing. I wonder why?" I poked him, making him laugh.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked. I rolled my eyes again.

"Well, obviously. That's why I asked you," I said, folding my arms. He moved a bit closer. I tilted my head, challenging him. He moved closer and put his lips near my ear.

"How much I'm in love with you," He whispered. A strange tingle went up my spine and I shivered at his proximity. He leaned back, smiling, sensing my uncertainty.

"And how much is that?" I said, attempting a smirk. And failing. Honestly, I was thrown off. He grinned at the ground because he absolutely knew this.

"At least like, seven," He grinned, running his fingers through his hair. I snorted.

"Seven!" I said, laughed. "Seven? What on earth does that mean?" He shrugged, grinning.

"I don't know. When I'm around you I can't seem to think properly. That's just the condition of loving you," He smirked and I snorted again.

"Sure. I'll keep that in mind," I said, shaking my head. He smiled at me in an easy way, I shifted my feet, feeling my face going pink again. "Gah! Stop doing that!" I said. James tilted his head.

"Doing what?" He asked.

"Being attractive!" I slapped a hand over my mouth, but he had obviously heard. My face was now hot and I blushed furiously. He moved closer.

"You think I'm attractive?" He smiled, tilting his head. My heart skipped a beat.

"Well, yes. Along with annoying, and infuriating, and egotistical, but attractive, sure," I said. He moved closer. The shiver went up my spine again.

"I'm flattered you think that," He said, closer. I swallowed.

"It's sort of hard not to. The whole school shares the same idea," I defended myself. He was closer now.

"It's more special coming from you," He whispered and grinned and came even closer. I tried to back further back into the tree. It didn't work. He had a hand above my head now, and his head tilted. He closed his eyes and came a little bit closer.

I— what? I couldn't think, but I could react.

I shoved him, straight into the black lake. He resurfaced, spluttering. I gasped and covered my mouth, kneeling by the edge of the water.

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry! I just reacted without thinking," I said. He coughed again and looked up at my rambling self. "Merlin, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to—" He cut me off.

"I'm not," He said. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me in. I splashed and resurfaced, spluttering too. He grinned at me.

"I deserved that," I admitted. He grinned at me and we got out, shivering. We glanced at each other and started laughing until our sides hurt. I finally hiccupped myself into seriousness. "We should probably get back to the castle." James nodded and picked up the jacket he had set down.

We made our way to the castle, shivering all the way.

"Here," James said, putting the jacket around my shoulders.

"Oh, I can't take this. It'll get all wet," I said. He ignored this.

"It's fine, it'll dry," I said, crossing his arms, trying to keep warm. I tried to protest but he insisted, so I snuggled in.

Merlin, this jacket smelled good.


	28. A Map

Claws. A growl. A flash and a blood-curdling cry. Teeth bared. A canine sigh that slowly trickled into a human one. And a sickening calm.

  


“How goes it, Moony?” I asked, setting the textbook down on his end table. He peeked through his lids at me.

“Not bad. How’re you?”

“Well enough. You missed transfig and DADA today. I brought you the notes,” I said reaching into my satchel and pulling them out, setting them on the textbook.

“Thanks,” He sighed. “Merlin, I’m tired.” He yawned. I grinned.

“How long did you sleep this time?"

“Fifteen hours apparently. Feels like two,” He grimaced.

“I don’t doubt it. Did Madame Pomfrey say how long you’re staying?” I asked, grabbing a chair from the side of a different bed and sitting down, crossing my legs.

“Just a few more hours and then I’ll be fine. Last night wasn’t a good one,” He smiled, grimly. I nodded.

“Yeah. As soon as we reached you, you were tearing up the furniture. Too bad. We were planning on running to that clearing we found last time,” I winked at him. He shook his head, forlornly.

“At least I didn’t hurt any of you,” He pursed his lips.

“Well. Maybe Prongs’ pride. You overpowered him pretty easily this time. Padfoot and I had to help,” I laughed. He smiled, shaking his head. “By the way, how’s that Ravenclaw girl?” I winked. He frowned.

“I talked to you about this. I do not have a crush on her. I got over it in about a day,” I rolled my eyes.

“Sure,”

“I’m serious,” he said, sitting up. “I told you. Whenever I get a crush, I stay away and force myself to forget them. It’s better this way.” he muttered. I smiled, lightly.

“Wasn’t ‘mating’ the whole problem?” He shot me a look but nodded. “Well then, have you ever thought about dating boys?” I grinned as he coughed.

“What?” He said, loudly. I shrugged.

“C’mon, there are some guys here that might be interested. You and Sirius get on well enough,” I winked. He spluttered.

“You know he’s only ever dated girls, and anyway I’m not…” He paused, considering. “I’m not _gay_.”

“Ah. Yes, well Sirius flirts with all sorts. He doesn’t care who you are. If you’re breathing he’s hitting on you,” I grinned. Remus was thoroughly flustered now. He changed the subject.

“Shouldn’t you be going now? You’re going to miss your next class,” He asked, grabbing the textbook and raising an eyebrow. I waved a hand, dismissively.

“I have other plans,” Remus glanced at me.

“What other plans?” He asked.

“Oh, I’m just planning something with the Prewett boys,” I said, mysteriously.

“Iris,” He groaned, drawing out her name. “I thought you gave up pranking.” I shook my head, winking.

“I’m a consulting criminal, Moony, you know this. I help wreak havoc, and I’m never punished because no one ever suspects. It's a win-win! Well, for me at least,” I added as an afterthought. He shook his head and was about to say something, but I interrupted. “And anyway, I’m just missing History of Magic. I already know all that,” I shrugged and he gave me a look but sighed.

“I can’t believe you,” He said, finally laughing. I grinned back.

“You should by now,” I stood from my chair. “I should be going anyway. Don’t stress yourself, I’m sure you already know all the notes.” I winked and left the hospital wing.

As I wandered the halls, I allowed my brain to do the same. Wander.

 _Wander is a fun word_ , I thought as I walked. I hurried to the portrait hole.

“Oslane Faerie moss,” I said, to the fat lady. She smiled and swung open, revealing the two grinning faces of the Prewett boys and an otherwise empty common room.

“Iris! Shall we?” Gideon pulled me in by my wrist. The two led me through into their dormitory. The ground was papered with parchment and maps and lists. They sat down in the thick of it, as did I.

“What’s the plan?” I said, rubbing my hands together. Fabian smirked.

“A good one,” He said, winking. I tutted.

“Not yet. That’s why you’ve called me,” I said. The two grinned.

  


I hid behind a wall, peeking around the corner. A large, cardboard box sat beside me. Closed. For now. I saw Fabian out of the corner of my eye. He was crouched in the shadows, ready. Gideon couldn’t be seen yet. Good. Fabian snapped at me and pointed. Someone was walking through the corridor. I slinked back into the shadows, pulling the box along with me.

Two teachers I didn’t recognize walked past, talking serenely. I kept silent in the shadows. Luckily, they didn’t notice either of us. They walked away and I pulled the box behind me as I crept back to my spot.

We were just in front of the doors to the Great Hall. Here was the extremely large anti-chamber. We weren’t just pranking a class, no, no, no, we were pranking the whole school. And luckily for us, the bell would be ringing in five… four… three… two… _now_.

An oblong thundering came from upstairs as class by class emptied and headed downward, to the Great Hall for lunch. Gideon came, strolling, hands in pockets, nonchalant. He whistled as he entered the Great Hall.

According to plan, he would now sit at the gryffindor table next to one of the tapestries that hid a secret curvature of a room, big enough to hold a crouching person. At twelve o’ seven exactly, it would open wider, into a tunnel leading to the trophy room. We had to time it perfectly though because it only showed up for that one minute. At twelve o’ eight it would be gone. We had to be quick.

Fabian and I grinned at each other as students made there way inside. I checked my watch. Twleve o’ three. I watched as the Marauders-minus-two entered, chattering away. I grinned from the shadows. Three more minutes passed. Fabian motioned to me and we sprung into action. We grabbed each of our boxes and made our way to the entrance of the door. We crouched, just behind the doors and tipped over the boxes.

The contents spread itself over the floor, silently. Almost no one noticed and those who did were too late.

They were small rubber balls, with a catch. When stepped upon, they exploded. Loudly. When they exploded, they coated everything they touched with coloured powder. Now, the powder wouldn’t really stick to anything if it was dry, but that was where Gideon came in.

He grinned and took out his wand. He stood, crouched just beside the tapestry, whipped his wand through the air, and lept behind the hanging cloth.

Immediately, buckets of water began falling from the sky. It was raining. Students shrieked and screamed as they were doused, but the real fun began when someone stood up and trod on one of the explosives.

In a split second, he was covered head to foot in blue slime. He yelled. Fabian and I high-fived. I checked my wristwatch as we sprinted away. Eleven o’ eight. Perfect timing.

  
  


“But I don’t understand! How were you not doused?” Lily asked, annoyed. She was covered in purple slime. It really complimented her hair.

“I wasn’t there, I told you. I accidentally fell asleep in the library. That’s why I wasn’t in class either. By the way, that colour really suits you,” I said, fighting not to laugh. She harumphed.

“Gah! My bag is ruined,” She said, holding it up. It was full of purple slime as well. Some dripped off.

“Relax, Lils. You have a wand, I’m sure you can fix it,” I said, grinning. She rolled her eyes but laughed just the same.

“I thought it was Potter, but he was in the same room. Shame. He deserves another detention for that trick he pulled last week,” She laughed.

“Detention! Both of you! Disgraceful,” came a sharp voice from around the corner. Lily and I looked over and professor Mcgonagall walked past, pulling the two Prewett boys by the ears. They were yelping. I laughed.

“Iris! Iris was in on it too, professor! I swear!” Fabian yelled, pointing at me.

“Me?” I asked, shocked. I put a hand over my chest. “You must be mistaken, I was in the library,” I said, wrinkling my eyebrows. Mcgonagal looked my way.

“It’ll be very difficult for you two to convince me that _Iris_ of all people was in on this,” She looked down through her spectacles at them. They frowned and looked at me. I just smiled, serenely.

“Pretty convinient that you were in the library,” Fabian muttered. I nodded.

“Yes, downright lucky. I could’ve been doused with slime. What a shame that would be,” I said, shaking my head. McGonagall nodded. “ _Do_ go easy on them, professor. It was just a bit of slime after all. They’ve done worse.” I laughed. She nodded and dragged them away. Lily and I turned and kept walking.

“You _were_ in on it, weren’t you?” She said, wringing out her robes.

“Obviously,” I scoffed.

  
  


“Boys,” I said dramatically. “I have been struck with an idea.” The four looked up at me, in surprise and I galivanted into the room. Sirius was half-naked as usual, shirt off and fiddling with that blasted rubber ball of his. James was laying on his bed, arm behind his head, snagging a golden snitch from the air. Remus was reading, finally having left the hospital wing, and Peter was sitting on the floor, writing his DADA essay.

“And that is?” Remus asked, not glancing up.

“A map!” I said, splaying out my arms. James looked at me curiously.

“What’s so great about a map?” He asked, yawning.

“It’ll be a map of Hogwarts,” I said.

“Doesn’t sound all that great to me,” Sirius said.

“Not yet. But what if we made a map of Hogwarts that _moves_?” I said, excitedly. Remus slowly sat up.

“What do you mean, moves?” He asked.

“I mean, that we figure out how to show people on it. Little dots or something with names. Then we enchant it so that it shows where everyone is at all times. Or that it shows when all the opening and closing of secret tunnels are. We could make it so that we could see wherever there was a door pretending to be a wall. We could see what positions the moving staircases were in and when they were moving. It could help us out a _ton,”_ I said. James sat up too, catching the snitch in his palm.

“It could,” He said. “This could make pranking so much easier, I mean, think of all the times we’ve been foiled because the wrong person walked up at the wrong time?” He was excited now, bouncing up and down on his bed. I nodded, equally as excited. Remus shook his head.

“It won’t work. Hogwarts is unplottable. You can’t make a map of it,” He said, pursing his lips. I pointed at him.

“Great point Moony, but guess what? I’ve figured a way around that detail,” I grinned. He tilted his head curiously.

“How?”

“Because it moves, it isn’t technically a map, it’s a portrait. If we soak it in the same potion as paintings are when they’re made to move, it should work,” I grinned at him, clapping my hands together. He looked shocked.

“That’s— that’s genius,” He said, quietly. “One problem though. How to we account for people leaving and entering Hogwarts? Sure, we can make a dot for everyone going to school _now_ , and everyone who works here _now_ , but those things will change. Not to mention, how do we keep the building itself from moving in the drawing?”

I scowled a little bit. Not at Remus’ question, but at the fact that I had no answer.

“I don’t know yet,” I said, finally. “But I think we can figure it out. Do you all want to help?” I asked, smiling. They chorused their yes’s. “Good. Because this is going to be a project.”


	29. Parts of a Puzzle

"And what brings you here?" I asked the cloaked slytherin before me. Regulus didn't need to brush the hair out of his eyes, there wasn't any, his hair was brushed and gelled slickly back, but he looked like he would quite like to.

"Wanted a butterbeer," he said simply, raising an eyebrow. I nodded and moved to the back to fill up a stein with the warm, foaming liquid. I set it in front of him, glancing around. We didn't have much business today, and Sarah and Clarissa both weren't working this weekend.

"How are things?" I asked him, fully investing myself in the conversation.

"Well enough," he said awkwardly. I smiled.

"Great! What year are you in again?" I refused to move my attention. He sensed I wouldn't and he sighed.

"Third," He drank his beverage in the hopes that I wouldn't ask another question. I didn't give him the satisfaction.

"Oh, right. Why are you hanging out with seventh years?" I referred to his little group. He deflated.

"Severus is a fifth year," he said, as though defending himself. I rolled my eyes.

"You two don't get along very well though. Really, they don't seem like a very... _fun..._ group," He swallowed.

"You don't understand," He said, swirling the contents of his mug. I nodded.

"Care to help me?"

"Not really," he muttered. I laughed.

"Fair enough," I said, twinkle in my eye. "Hows quidditch going for you? You're seeker, right?" He nodded.

"It's going pretty well, I'd say," he said, grinning. _Finally_.

"Well, prepare to have your team beaten, boy. We're not going to let you lot win," I teased. He laughed and pointed a finger.

"Don't dismiss us so easily, we have a bloody good chance," He smiled again.

"I hope so, otherwise the game will be _boring_ ," I winked. He laughed.

I woke to the noise of an alarm. I quickly silenced it, pulled on my leggings, and grabbed a smaller version of my sports duffel I had set out the night before. I pulled it over my shoulder and tied my hair up as I walked down the stairs.

"Ready?" James asked, eyes twinkling.

"Of course," I said, grinning, drowsily.

We made our way through the sleepy castle, not passing a single soul. We walked over the grounds to the quidditch pitch and through the locker room. James flipped on the light and I dropped my duffel near the doorway. I moved to the radio and tuned it to the rock station. James and I happened to like similar bands, so we had both settled on a station together.

James and I stretched together and usual, and as I wrapped my hands he began his reps. We weren't very talkative this particular morning. Perhaps James was stressed about the upcoming match. I started to warm up, starting with the usual. I bounced back and forth on my feet.

I was tired, so I decided to take it slow today and focus on my own thoughts. I hadn't heard from Marta in a while. That must be good. Hopefully, the medicine she had bought for my mum was working well. I groaned inwardly as I thought of the remaining money I had left. My job was helping. My job was helping so much, but paying for a healer to babysit twenty-four/seven for nine months isn't exactly cheap.

I was lucky that she had never asked me for a raise, or protested when I told her I simply couldn't afford a certain medicine. Most of the time, she actually paid for the medicine with her own money. For simple goodwill or perhaps just because she knew how bad off we were, she only ever asked for medicine money when it was imperative that I pay for it. She was... an angel.

It was all because of her that I had the opportunity to go to school. Without her, I'd have to babysit. That was why I hadn't gone to school in my first year. I was young and I had no solution to the problem I faced. I had just assumed there was no way I could go. I had lied to my friends when I told them my mum had taught me because I was 'behind' or whatever. I mean she was hardly in a fit state.

I was never 'behind'. Heck, the whole reason I'm top of class is because I've been using magic since I was six. Now, you're probably wondering how on earth I got away with doing underage magic without being caught. Simple, really. I used my dad's old wand. He wasn't using it. Obviously.

I found out about resident healers when I went to Saint Mungo's to get my mum medicine. The healer asked more questions than usual, and I was happy to supply the answers, albeit with more than a few lies. She had recommended getting a healer to care for my mum instead of my 'aunt Gertrude'.

There were a lot of lies.

I did, however, take this tip seriously. It was my ticket out. I could go to school and not have to worry. So, I hired someone and told more lies. Marta believed them for maybe a year a so, but she caught on. I had to tell her almost everything. Almost. She was okay with it, and without her, I wouldn't be at this school.

As soon as I hired her, I contacted Dumbledore, pretending to be my mother (just like I do with the bank) and expressed the financial difficulty. Dumbledore assured 'us' that we did not need to pay for anything, the school would help out.

So in the end, the reasons I'm here is because so many people were willing to help, fell for my lies, and the early adulthood I gained in my one-digit years. A miracle.

No one knew about my full situation. No one. And I chose to keep it this way. Only Dumbledore, the bank, and my friends just knew the poor part. Saint Mungo's only knew about my mum's illness. Marta was the only one who knew both of those parts. The government knew about the dad part.

I was the only one who knew about the other part. And it was going to stay that way.

"What're you thinking about over there? You seem pretty tense," His voice interrupted. I fell out of my daze.

"Hm? Oh. Nothing. Nothing that matters," I said, casually. He laughed.

"Everything matters," he said, incontestably. I shook my head.

"Not this," I said, returning to my punching bag.

"Anything that makes you make that face, matters," James said, surely. I stopped and looked down at my shoes. I glanced up at him. I returned to the punching bag.

"My mom's sick," I said. My guts shrivelled up from the lie. James groaned, sympathetically.

"That's sad. Hope she gets better soon," he said.

"I hope she does too," I muttered. That was a lie. A half-lie.

I glanced at Marlene. She was not-so-casually watching the pair eat their dinner, flirting all the while. The pair, of course, was Sirius and Scarlett Atkinson. I chuckled to myself but turned back to Remus.

"What do you think?" I asked, gesturing at the parchment before him. "Could it work?"

"Potentially," he said. "We need some way to... anchor it. Sort of." He gestured, rapidly. We were discussing how to keep the castle of Hogwarts stationary on the page. We knew that because it was a stationary object, it probably wouldn't move when we soaked it, but we weren't confident. Footsteps are seemingly stationary too. Not to mention, staircases, walls, tunnels, etc. We couldn't be sure. We were trying to figure out a way to keep the basic boundaries of Hogwarts stationary while making sure we could let everything else move.

We were also trying to find a tracking spell that worked on pictures. Most of the tunnels and secrets of Hogwarts were not on a timeline. The staircases moved whenever they wanted to, as did some of the walls and doors and secret tunnels. We couldn't just say 'at this exact time, make this exact thing, move in this exact way' because most things didn't move like that.

People were complicated too. For a ton of reasons that I am too tired to explain right now. We also needed to decide how much of the grounds we were going to show, and how we were going to display the different floors, any protective spells we wanted to place on it. The challenges were endless.

"My brain hurts," I said, ending the conversation. Remus laughed but continued working. I slumped myself over the table and glanced around the room. I soon got bored with this, and instead began to review my studies, after all, O.W.L.s are just after the quidditch match. Less than two weeks away.

Spring was drawing to a close. It was warming up, and by that, I mean warming up as much as Scotland can. Which isn't a lot.

 _Merlin, I'm thinking about the weather. How boring,_ I thought. _I can't even have a proper conversation with_ myself _._ _How pitiful._

I banged my head on the table once. I got up and left the room. I threw open the doors to the grounds and strode out, towards my tree. I skillfully climbed the branches and nestled myself between the crook of the trunk and the branch. I gazed out into the black lake and studied the submerged shadow of the giant squid. It came up to the surface and waved one of its massive tentacles. I waved back for the heck of it and it surfaced, basking in the warmer water.

I watched, uninterestedly. A bout of exhaustion washed over me. It annoyed me. Y'know those moments when you aren't doing anything and your body just assumes 'ah, yes. Let's sleep' and starts to shut down? Yeah. It was one of those moments. I got annoyed with myself, which is an ironic thing to do because it's rather hard to scold yourself.

However, I was tired, for whatever reason my body justified. I watched the squid swim about, almost methodically, and let myself sleep. After all, I knew I was secure in the tree and even if I fell out, it wasn't that far of a fall. Also, I was tired.

(James POV)

I couldn't get it out of my head. It'd been ages, but I couldn't stop remembering every instance where I had bullied someone. Merlin, I was a real _punk_ sometimes. And not the cool, rock n' roll kind. Iris was right; it was time I grew up. I just— gah. I just didn't know _how_.

I left the Great Hall. I had already finished eating and Sirius was busy with that Atkinson girl. In a spur, I pushed open the front doors and walked out to the grounds. It was warm by Scotland's standards, which isn't saying much, but the sun felt nice on the face.

I began towards the black lake. The squid was moving about, energetically at the surface. I moved over to the shore and I scratched one of its tentacles as it reached out. A few bubbles surfaced as it showed its gratitude. I smiled and put my hands in my pockets. I turned slightly, to move a bit away but my eyes caught on a tree.

It was Iris' tree, as she called it. It was the tree where we discussed Shakespeare once. A small shape was in its branches. I walked over and gazed up at the sleeping figure, chuckling quietly. It was Iris, fast asleep, hands clasped on her lap. I grinned for a bit as her head lolled slightly.

I began to climb, a different direction that she was, I was trying to reach the top. I passed her and made my way to the highest part of the tree I could reach without one of the branches breaking and sending me tumbling to the very hard, very painful ground.

I sat there. In the breeze. Iris snored slightly. Not obnoxiously, no. She could never be obnoxious. Just quietly and sleepily and rather cutely I thought.

I gazed at the sky and thought more about how to improve. But how do you fix something that's been broken for as long as it's existed?


	30. Giant Squid

I woke up and blinked. It was darker than it had been before. I must've slept for a while. I stretched and looked up at the sky when something caught my eye. A figure was sitting at the very top of the tree. Even though I could only see the outline of him I knew immediately who he was.

I started climbing. He looked down and noticed me as I hopped up the branches carefully. He reached out to help me on the last few branches.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem," He replied as I situated myself on the branch. The moon was out. It was close to a full moon, but not quite. We'd have another week or so until the next one. It was very dark. The castle loomed behind us, a few flickering lights shining onto the black lake.

We sat in silence for a little bit. It wasn't awkward necessarily, we just watched the stars.

"I love you," He said, not altogether suddenly. I bit my lip.

"I know," I said, quietly. He turned to look at me.

"Would you—" He paused. "Would you like to go on a date with me?" He said it hopefully and it made me feel awful. I was quiet for a bit.

"I'm sorry..." I started. He turned away.

"It's okay. I still have two years," He joked a little and I laughed, quietly.

We breathed in the scent of the night.

"Oh, I'm going to fail everything!" I almost screamed.

"No you're not," Remus said, soothingly. "You know this." The idea of O.W.L.s was finally getting to me. What I got on these tests determined what classes I'd be able to take next year and I had to pick good classes to get a good job after I graduated.

"Relax, Roman. You're a genius anyway, you'll probably get all O's," Sirius said, thumbing through a textbook, obviously bored.

"Don't say that," I pointed a finger at him. "You'll jinx it." James came up behind me, looking over my notes and what I was studying.

"Ancient Runes? You don't even take that class," He said, flipping through the textbook in front of me. I grabbed it back.

"It could be useful," I defended myself.

"In what class? Binns doesn't cover anything past the mid 7000s B.C. there's nothing you'd need to know that for," Remus said. Of course, he was right, but I was still defensive. I crossed my arms. James put a hand on my shoulder.

"You need to relax, you're getting nervous about something you know you'll ace. That's not a good idea," He said. I brushed his hand off and began gathering up my papers and stuffing them in my bag.

"Fine. Fine!" I said, on the verge of hysterics. "I'm just going to fail and crash and burn but it's fine, it's fine!" James grabbed my shoulder again and turned me to face him. He bent down a little bit so that we were eye level. I had tears in my eyes, I was so frustrated.

"You're going to be brilliant," he said. Surprisingly, this soothed me. I slumped. I took a deep breath and loosened my death grip on my books.

"You're right. Merlin, I'm stressed," I sighed. He grinned at me.

"Then let's do something fun! Keep your mind off O.W.L.s," He winked.

"Like what?" I asked. He didn't answer, but we all followed him out the doors of the library. He led us to the common room.

"Get your swimsuits on," he said, grinning. "It's the start of summer, let's go swimming in the black lake!" Sirius whooped and I rolled my eyes but ran up the stairs to my dorm. I began sifting through my trunk in search. I finally found the thing near the bottom.

It was a one piece (I prefer those) it had an open back and was a navy blue colour. I hadn't used it in a while, actually. I put it on and grabbed a towel along with my flipflops and reflective blue/purple sunglasses. I let my hair out of its bun and put on a sheer black cover-up that opened in the front like a long jacket.

I flip-flopped downstairs and waited for the boys who were taking a while. They finally came down a few minutes later.

"What took you so long?" I laughed, as we headed to the great double doors.

"I couldn't find my swim trunks," Sirius muttered, sending a glare at James who laughed.

"I hid them," He whispered in my ear. I laughed again. The boys were all in swim trunks of various colours. Remus had a sky blue one with white stripes. James had a red one, gryffindor shade of course. Sirius had a black one, no surprise there, and Peter had a yellow one with little anchors.

We reached the doors and pushed them open. There were quite a few people out today, it was finally warm after all. No one was near the lake though. We reached the water's edge and dropped our towels. I took off my sunglasses and my cover-up.

Everyone else was carefully wading in but I sped past them and jumped in, fully submerging myself.

Merlin, it was cold. I resurfaced, gasping.

"Oh, it feels great! Hurry up you slowpokes," I goaded them. Sirius winked, plugged his nose, and went completely under too. He resurfaced laughing as well.

"You two are crazy," Peter said, still going carefully. James grinning and was about to dive under too when Remus pushed him. He flailed and resurfaced coughing. We all laughed. I high-fived Remus who sank under the water too.

I began to swim near the middle of the black lake. I'm not going to say I'm an amazing swimmer, but I'm pretty good. Sirius raced me. He beat me by a second. Soon we were all treading water in the middle. We couldn't touch the ground here, and it felt sort of weird.

"Can you do a backflip?" I asked James, grinning.

"Underwater?" He asked. I nodded. "Dunno. Never done it before," He ducked under the water and did one. He resurfaced spluttering and blowing his nose. "Ugh, I should've plugged my nose," he moaned. I laughed.

"Do you think the giant squid will come around?" Peter asked, nervously. I answered.

"Hopefully. Last year it came up and we used it as a water slide, remember that?" Sirius nodded laughing.

"Maybe we can get it to come up. Come on," He dove under. James and I followed. It was very dark under the water. You could just barely see the bottom with the swaying seaweed. As we got deeper, I began swallowing to pop my ears from the pressure. We looked around trying to find the squid. No luck. We resurfaced, gasping for breath.

"Couldn't find it," Sirius said to Remus and Peter, shaking his head.

"Whoo. Anyone else tired?" I asked. Everyone nodded or shrugged so we swam to a place that we could touch the bottom. We were still pretty far out, though. We had a race for who could go the most distance doing an underwater handstand, (me), and who could hold their breath underwater the longest (Sirius).

We were just about to see if it was possible to do a cartwheel underwater when suddenly something large exploded out of the water. The wave crashed into us, and we sunk under the water. We looked at each other surprised under the wave and began to swim toward the middle. We resurfaced and kept swimming, grinning, laughing, and cheering.

It was the giant squid, come to play.

We clambered onto it. It lifted us onto its head and held out its tentacles strategically to form the best water slides. We each took turns sliding down the tentacles and launching into the air, splashing into the water below. Each time, the squid would lift us back up and we'd scratch its strangely slimy skin and go again.

By the end, when we were thoroughly exhausted, we waved goodbye and it sank under the water, leaving only bubbles popping at the surface. We swam back to shore and laid out our towels. My arms felt a little sore, but I was happy. I laid down on the towel and put on my sunglasses. James had managed to grab the spot next to me, unsurprisingly. I closed my eyes and attempted in vain to get a tan.

I knew the only thing I would do was freckle, but I tried anyway. Remus and Sirius were talking about something or other, Peter chiming every so often. James attempted a conversation with me.

"You sure you don't want to go on a date with me?" He asked, teasingly.

"Very sure," I said, snippily. He sighed but smiled.

"Fair enough. Wanna go on a group date with me, Sirius, and Atkinson?" He asked.

"And endure the amount of snogging I'll have to witness between those two? No thank you," I scoffed. James laughed.

"Alright, I'll stop bothering you then," He said. He didn't say anything for about two seconds. "D'you think you'll be able to hang out over the summer break?"

"I thought you said you'd stop bothering me," I retorted.

"But do you?" He asked, hopefully, and undeterred.

"I don't know. I'm pretty busy this summer. We're going to have family over and we'll be travelling..." I lied easily. James shrunk down, disappointedly. "But I'm sure we can still keep in contact. And I'm sure I'll have some time in between stuff," I said, hurriedly. James smiled wryly.

"I hope so," he said, a little quietly.

"Stop flirting and come help us with this sand castle!" Sirius called at us. I sat up and pulled my sunglasses into my hair. We began building and chatting. The sandcastle was huge and began to take shape. I grabbed and few large shells and we used those for the windows. Remus found some flat driftwood and we used that for a drawbridge. We used a stick and seaweed for a flag at the tops and pebbles for other details.

It took us forever to finish because Sirius kept wanting to add more details, but when we were done it looked amazing. It was almost the size of a person laying down and was maybe as tall as my waist. We all high-fived and began to gather up our stuff. The sun was going down and we raced each other to the castle.

We made our way to the common room and went up our assigned stairs. I raced up quickly and jumped in the shower to rinse out the odd smelling lake water. I finished quickly and pulled on a t-shirt and jeans. I put on my chacos and combed my hair. I headed downstairs and headed out for the great hall. Dinner was in full swing and I sat down next to Lily and the others.

"So? Where were you today?" Lily asked, eating her steak in the Precise Lily Way™.

"I went swimming in the black lake with the boys," I said.

"Ooo, fun. Today was a good day for it too," Mary said. Marlene nodded, winking at me.

"I'll bet Potter enjoyed seeing you in a swimsuit," she teased. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, shut your trap, he was perfectly fine today," I admonished her, piling my plate with chips and mixing my signature sauce. It was a mix of ketchup and mayonnaise. Lily thought I was insane, but Marlene didn't think it was so bad. Mary thought I was crazy as well, but I thought it was delicious. I began to eat, and minutes later the rest of the Marauders trooped in, all showered and joking around as usual.

They sat next to us. Sirius was in a flirty mood and he sat next to Marlene. To my surprise, she didn't really react except with a raised eyebrow. I had expected her to flush scarlet because of her little crush. Sirius began shamelessly flirting and she spoke coolly back. I supposed she was in seductive mode, but she wasn't really flirting back.

I shrugged and turned to Lily.

"What's up with Marlene? I thought she had a crush on him," I whispered. She shrugged, surveying the two as well.

"I did too," She whispered back.

"Who else could it be? She only blushes when Sirius is around," I whispered. She hmmed.

"Actually, sometimes she doesn't. She only does it when Scarlett is around him," Lily muttered back. I absorbed this.

"Maybe she's jealous?" I whispered.

"Maybe," Lily shrugged and continued eating. I narrowed my eyes, watching Marlene. She was completely unfazed as Sirius continued trying to make his moves. How odd.


	31. Last Match

(James POV) 

I could feel the heart in my chest beating. I couldn't help but be excited. It was the last match of the season! We had to win. I looked down at the table at Iris. She wasn't eating much. I could tell from her faintly shaking hands she was suffering from nerves as well. She was biting her bottom lip and staring in a daze at something in the distance. Daydreaming.

I smiled to myself. She was cute, I just couldn't help it.

I hastily finished eating and stood, moving my way over to her.

"Are you done eating?" I asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. She mentally stumbled out of her reverie.

"Sorry... sorry, what?" She said, looking up at me, confused. I felt my heart jump as she looked at me with those gorgeous eyes of her. Merlin, I needed to get a grip.

"Are you done eating?" I said, breathlessly, obviously too quiet for her to hear. She cocked her head.. "Sorry, are you done eating? I want to go over tactics with you."

It was widely known that Iris was unofficially my co-captain. She helped me with literally everything and while I ordered people around, she taught them. It worked out rather nicely. She was also absolutely a genius when it came to tactics. She nodded.

"Yeah, let's go," She stood, and we walked out of the great hall. We hurriedly made our way to the pitch and into the locker rooms. I quickly grabbed the marker that laid on the lip under the whiteboard. The whiteboard had been Iris' idea too. It was way easier to use it than paper, and this way we could make easy changes.

I began scribbling the positions and lines to mark the tactics we'd be using in this match, whilst Iris looked on. The number of points we needed in order to win was quite a few. Seventy was a tall order, but I had no doubt we'd succeed. Genevive was an amazing seeker and knew how to distract other seekers when she wanted. She was also amazing at doing maths on the fly. (Pun not intended, but I'm going to pretend it was in order to maintain my awful-pun-reputation)

Sirius, Iris, and I were going to have a tougher time, but we'd get there. We _had_ to.

Iris watched as I finished up and gestured for her to stand with me to double-check everything. She placed a finger on her cheek and looked at my markings. She nodded slowly.

"Checks out." She smiled at me, and I felt my stomach turn to butter.

"Great!" I grinned, hiding my obvious crushing. She raised an eyebrow, still smiling, and turned to grab her broom from the closet.

"Wanna warm up?" she asked me, raising an eyebrow and smiling. I died standing.

"Sure," I managed to say, nonchalantly. I grabbed my broom and walked out behind her. She was already hovering in the air, waiting for me.

"Laps?" she suggested. I nodded and we began to swing around the pitch. I did a couple loopty-loops to get her to laugh and when I succeeded my heart squeezed.

It was amazing how easily she could rile me up. Just by smiling at me, I went into cardiac arrest. It was amazing she never noticed, there was no way I could be more obvious.

We landed as our other teammates arrived. We went into the locker room again and we all reviewed the tactics. Genevive was avoiding the blocking of the opposing seeker, Sirius, Iris, and I were staying away from each other so that the Hufflepuffs couldn't bunch us together, Fabian and Gideon were focusing on hitting the Hufflepuffs instead of protecting us, and Richard was to pay attention to his peripheral, as the Hufflepuffs faked often.

We also had a couple formations to go over that Iris explained flawlessly. Fifteen minutes later and the roar of the stands was almost unbearably loud. As it should be, I mean, this was the last match of the season. It all came down to this.

If we won but didn't get two hundred and twenty points, Slytherin got first and we got second. If the Hufflepuffs managed to beat us _and_ get fifty more points than us, they'd take second place. If they didn't get fifty more points than us but still beat us, we'd take second. In order to get first, we needed to win and to get two hundred and twenty points altogether. If the Hufflepuffs lost but got a hundred and ten points, they'd come in second.

The only way Ravenclaw wouldn't be last was if the Hufflepuffs never got more than ten points, which was rather unlikely.

I could just barely hear Amarius yelling all this info out for the crowds to hear.

"Ready positions, people," I yelled, as Amarius started announcing the Hufflepuff team. We took our stances near the door and readied or brooms.

"And now the Gryffindor team!" Amarius yelled as we stepped out. "Of course, leading the team is our legendary captain and chaser, James Potter. Behind him is the fabulous, the bold, the fierce, Iris Brooks, chaser. Beside her is the devil himself Sirius Black, chaser as well. Behind them are the Prewett twins, Fabian and Gideon. Or Gideon and Fabian? Can't tell, but anyway, they're great and they're beaters. Next is Richard King, the most skilled keeper Gryffindor had seen for a long while. Last but certainly not least, Melissa— sorry. Genevive McGonagall, niece to none other than our own Professor McGonagall, so you _know_ she can kill you with one look, and, according to popular rumour, she's half veela, so you really don't want to piss _her_ off folks. Oh, yeah, and she's seeker."

The crowd applauded and screamed raucously. We took out placed in the middle of the field. The Hufflepuff captain and I shook hands and Madame Hooch gave her usual 'play fair and don't kill each other' speech. We clambered onto our brooms. I blew Iris a kiss and she didn't have time to roll her eyes because Hooch blew her whistle.

We shot off into the air.

(Iris's POV)

It was a tight game. I knew it would be, the second I walked out onto the field. James, Sirius, and I immediately spread out. Sirius had the quaffle and I followed by a distance. He managed to evade the other chasers and a bludger and shot a goal. Making points so quickly stirred up our adrenaline and we raced after the Hufflepuff chaser who was carrying the bludger.

A strategically shot bludger from Gideon and I had the quaffle and was racing toward the goal. I heard the tell-tale whistle of a bludger behind me. I rolled to simultaneously dodge the bludger and a evade an offensive Hufflepuff. I threw it to James who shot another goal.

Three minutes in, and we already had twenty points. We were doing well.

Twenty minutes later, and we had fifty points and the Hufflepuffs had seventy. Genevive was doing an amazing job at distracting the other seeker, as the snitch had already cropped up more than once. She was lucky the other guy hadn't noticed before her.

Richie was actually doing an amazing job. The number of times the quaffle had flown his way was many, and he blocked the vast majority of them, even though he'd let in seven.

Fabian and Gideon were great as always, but James, Sirius, and I needed to step it up. We just needed two more goals, two more! That was it.

James had the quaffle now. All three of us raced to the goals, at varying distances. James, about to be blocked by tow Hufflepuffs, threw the quaffle my way. I caught it, barely, and faked left. The keeper took the bait. He dodged toward the left goal, while I shot it at the right. It went in.

Sixty points Just one more goal, just one _more_.

Ten minutes later, and we still hadn't made another goal. The Hufflepuffs were at ninety points now, much to our dismay.

Fabian raced by and hit a bludger _hard_ at the Hufflepuff currently handling the quaffle. It hit her full in the chest but she didn't drop it. Instead, she threw it to another teammate, who shot it at the goal. Richard caught it and threw it to Sirius who barreled to the goal. I followed, close behind. He was hit with a bludger, but I swooped under him and caught the ball. I threw it to James, who ducked under a player and faked.

The keeper dodged to catch the ball, but instead, James tossed it to me and I shot a goal.

We were at seventy. _We were at seventy!_

Genevive had been paying rapt attention to the score and the second the Quaffle flew through, she began sweeping the field.

We kept playing, but we mostly just kept the Hufflepuffs from making any more goals.

A shocked gasp ripple through the crowd as Genevive suddenly zoomed up, chasing something I couldn't see. I looked at the score. The Hufflepuffs still had a hundred points. They just needed one more goal to beat the Slytherins. I had the quaffle.

With a grin, I threw the ball to one of the Hufflepuff chasers. They looked at me surprised. I gave them a two finger salute and gestured for them to hurry. Genevive was almost to the snitch, I could see it now.

The chaser raced toward Richard, who had seen what I had done and just grinned. The girl threw the quaffle through right as Genevieve caught the snitch. She held it triumphantly over her head.

I looked at the board.

Gryffindor: 220 Hufflepuff: 110

Everyone was going crazy. We all raced down and screamed and cheered. Genevive still held the snitch and was grinning and laughing as we all came down for a group hug. The whole school it seemed was streaming its way onto the field, screaming, laughing, and cheering. They swarmed us in celebration.

"Gryffindor wins! And Hufflepuff does too, sort of!" Amarius was yelling. "Final score! First place, Gryffindor! Second place, Hufflepuff! Third place, Slytherin! Fourth place, Ravenclaw! Congrats everyone!"

Dumbledore came down onto the field holding the quidditch cup. He smiled, and his eyes twinkled.

"Congratulations," he said and handed the cup to James, who held it above his head in celebration. Everyone went crazy and lifted James up into the air. I laughed and cheered too. Someone sprinted past me. The someone was Genevive and she was running to Richard who was looking at her, surprised.

She jumped, wrapped her legs around his waist, and kissed him. Richard was surprised for a split second, but he quickly began kissing back, wrapping his arms around her.

_Finally_ , I thought, grinning.

Hours later, in the Gryffindor common room, someone had stolen away into the kitchen and brought back bottles upon bottles of butterbeer as well as tons of snacks. Someone was blasting the Weird Sisters on the communal radio and a party was in full swing.

I grabbed a bottle and made my way over to the new couple who were sharing a cushioned chair, talking low, foreheads leaned together. I grinned as Genevive kissed the tip of Richard's nose and he flushed, She laughed and snuggled closer into his chest.

"Congrats you guys. You're now officially the cutest couple in all of Gryffindor house," I winked. Genevive laughed and Richard blushed again.

"Too bad we won't be around to see you and our wonderful captain get together," Genevive teased. I rolled my eyes, ignoring this statement.

"Sucks you guys are graduating this year," I said, conversationally. Richard nodded a little sadly.

"I'll definitely miss this place." I nodded and sipped my butterbeer.

"Well, I'll leave you two be. Don't get into trouble," I winked. Genevive laughed again and Richard reddened darker than I'd ever seen him. I saw Genevive whisper something in his ear that made his eyes widen and her to crack up. He squeezed her teasingly and she snuggled more.

I moved through the crowd, intent on finding Lily. I finished my butterbeer and vanished the bottle, moving through the dancing crowd, but a hand caught mine and pulled me close. James took my other hand and began to dance with me. I raised an eyebrow up at him and he grinned.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, giving him and thoroughly disparaging look.

"Dancing," he said simply. He grinned. I sighed, but let him twirl me around. The amount of people dancing made for a rather tight space, which meant I was pressed up against James in a way that I would not call uncomfortable, but I definitely wasn't happy with it either.

He was grinning the whole time though. I allowed him to lead me through one song, but when it finished, I gave him and look and I moved on, still on my search for Lily.

I finally found her near the snacks table, talking to some boy I only knew by face. They were just finishing up their conversation and he moved away. I sidled up beside her.

"Who was that?" I asked, teasingly.

"A boy named Nathaniel. He was very nice," She said, taking a cookie from the place. I did likewise.

"He was nice, was he?" I raised and an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, he was nice. Gimme a break, Iris," she said. I just grinned. We chatted some more but suddenly the room quieted. Someone had turned off the radio. I glowered up at the boy who did, who was standing on a table, raising his hand for silence, and looking toward me in a mischevious way. I folded my arms.

"Hello everyone! Who's happy we won the match today, huh?" James shouted out. The room cheered. "Well, that's good. If you weren't I wouldn't have trained so hard." People laughed at that. James smirked my way. "I'd like to dedicate a song tonight," I gestured to me and I groaned inwardly as people looked my way. "This song is for the best co-captain I could ever ask for and the love of my life, Iris Brooks!"

I bowed jauntingly and some people laughed.

"I love you!" He cooed and I shook my head, laughing. He turned the radio back on. The song was one we had listened to hundreds of times, working out together. Whenever it came on, it was an invisible rule that we had to sing it.

It was by a band called Reign. The song had nothing, in particular, to do with us, it didn't even make sense in the context, but it was such a _good song._

He made his way over to me and held out his hand, jokingly. I took it. Whatever excuse my mind made up for doing so, was quickly forgotten.

_"Pathological lies that mean nothing at all and everything at once_

_"one second I'm smiling the next I'm swimming in tears, the screams caused by you ripping me to shreds_

_your_ _psyco_ _, loco, you're in my head_

_I can't believe I love you. I love you._

_"it's psychopathic love which just means twisted hate,_

_I think it's love until the sky in your eyes turns irate_

_and my world starts to shake_

_it's_ _psychopathic_ _love (psychopathic love)_

_and I hate it"_

James began singing it, and I joined in, laughing. The words didn't matter, as long as we sung the tune.


	32. Behind the Mirror

"Are you sure that'll work?" I asked Remus. He was currently leaning over a blank piece of paper, surveying it and writing little notes on a scrap parchment beside it.

"No, but at least it won't do any harm," He said, shrugging.

"Have we figured out that problem with the names yet?" James inquired, palms resting heavily on the edge of the table as he stood, watching Remus' handiwork. I was mixing a potion, more like a sludge to be honest. I added some sprigs of lilac infused from the blood of a bat. As I mixed it in, the colour turned a nice purple.

"Not yet, but Sirius came up with an interesting idea. Care to explain, Padfoot?" Remus nodded at him. Sirius moved from the wall he was leaning on and came over to look at the map himself.

"I'm thinking if we do an edited version of the spell Homenun Revelio, maybe that could work? Combined with the spell that Wormtail discovered about names and such, I think it could work," He gestured at Peter who was watching all unfold with curious eyes. I racked my brain.

"Maybe if we could also combine it with that divination spell, the one that shows things that are happening currently, it'll work better," I suggested. Remus clapped his hands.

"That's genius, let's do it. You almost done with that, Roman?" Rem asked as he picked up his wand, arms at the ready.

"Yup, just a sec," I quickly added a drop of a combination of sandalwood oil and patchouli oil, stirring it clockwise. A small puff a smoke erupted from where I had dropped the oil but faded a bit as I set it beside Remus. I took a short, spatula-like thing and scooped some onto the end. Remus began waving his wand, muttering spells, and tapping the map whilst I spread the sludge on the parchment. The moment the substance touched the page, it was absorbed. I spread it everywhere on the page until I had none left.

Remus was just finishing the spells, and as he did, he slowed his wand and pocketed it.

We had been meeting in the passage behind the mirror on the third floor for half a year now, making adjustments and throwing ideas back and forth as to how we were supposed to make the map work. We had titled it 'The Marauders Map' for obvious reasons.

We had made so much progress. We had figured out how to make it disappear and reappear as we wished using an incantation we had made up, we had figured out how to keep intruders from accessing it, we had accomplished the task of creating the actual castle and keeping it from moving on the page, we had soaked it in the developing potion to make it technically qualify as a portrait instead of a map, so that we could loophole our way around the whole 'Hogwarts is unplottable' thing, we'd figured out how to show multiple floors, and we'd just now (hopefully) figured out how to track people in real time using their names.

The only thing we had left was to figure out how to show secret passages, the moving staircases, and how to show when furniture moved.

"Who wants to test it?" Remus asked. "Iris?"

"Sure," I said, stepping forward. I took my wand out of my sleeve. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." I tapped the parchment. My adrenaline raced as it came to life. It looked as though I had dropped a drop of ink onto it. Lines began to take shape.

'Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Roman, and Prongs are proud to present, The Marauders Map'

The words took shape and bled into the picture behind it and disappeared, showing the castle. It wasn't just the castle that it showed, however. Now, there were little, labelled dots, roaming around the page. Professor Dumbledore was in his office, sitting at his desk. Lily was in her bed, fast asleep. The roaming prefects tonight were the Hufflepuffs. One, Marie Thain, was walking a path through the East wing on the fourth floor, while the other, Amos Diggory, was wandering the halls of the first floor, past the suits of armour.

I gasped and pointed at ourselves. Our dots were indeed behind the mirror on the third floor, grouped around the table in the room. I stepped away and jumped around.

"I can't believe that worked," I grinned at the others who were also celebrating.

"Of course it did, we're geniuses," James grinned back.

Two nights later, we were grouped around the same table, sitting dejectedly in foldable chairs we managed to smuggle through the hallways that night. The only progress we had made was to put a permanent perfume spell on it to make it always smell like lavender. Just for fun and out of sheer boredom.

"Nothing? No ideas?" I griped, folding my arms.

"None," Remus said, fingers against his temples.

"How're we supposed to do this?" Sirius moaned.

"I have an idea," Peter said, quietly.

"Really?" I asked, sitting up in my chair. "Tell us." Everyone looked Peter's way. His nose twitched, nervously.

"What if we use that divination spell we found in the library a couple weeks ago when we were trying to figure out how to show the dots? If we combine it with the spell we used to label the rooms we could get somewhere," He said, more confidently. I tapped a finger to my cheek.

"Hm. That could get us somewhere, but I don't think that'll fully—" James interrupted me.

"What if we put both of those spells on the potion that they soak those erasers in, what're they called?" He snapped his fingers. Sirius spoke up.

"Those Revealer erasers?"

"Yes! Those," He pointed at him. I slowly stood.

"That might just work," I said, slowly, thinking. "All the potion does is reveal things you can't see. Plus, anything 'secretive or hidden' as the company says. Combined with the spells, it could work. Peter, you're a genius!" I yelled, suddenly very excited.

"The potion takes about three days to make," Remus said.

"Perfect. Let's get to it," I said, clapping my hands.

Three days later, and we were behind the mirror on the third floor _again_.

"Let's pray this works," I muttered as I poured the finished and enchanted potion on the map. As it was done with the smear I had put on it a few days ago, it soaked into the page. "Peter, you test it."

Peter walked up and took out his wand.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," He said and tapped the page. Again, the ink splot took shape and swirled around the page. We quickly gazed at the secret passageways. The one in the Great hall behind the tapestry wasn't there yet, good. The one underneath the statue of Barnabus the barmy was there, also good. The one under the fourth flagstone from the right on the fifth floor next to the Arithmancy classroom was waiting to be opened, perfect, and the stairs were moving. Fantastic! It had worked.

We jumped up and down in celebration. It was finished.

"Hey, Lily, can you test this out for me?" I walked up to her, holding out the blank Marauders map.

"What is it?" She asked, wrinkling her nose in confusion.

"It's just something I bought," I lied. "Just take out your wand." She did so and took the paper, waiting for further instruction. "Now say something like, 'show yourself'". She raised her wand but paused.

"Is this a prank?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No, it's not," I said, exasperated. "Just do it."

"Sound like something someone about to prank someone would say," Lily muttered, but she did as instructed. "Show yourself."

Writing began to scrawl on the page in five different handwritings.

Messr. Moony would like to comment that surely a witch as intelligent as yourself wouldn't fall for something so obviously a prank.

Messr. Wormtail would like to point out that you have ink on your nose and is surprised that you didn't notice. It makes you look rather stupid.

Messr. Padfoot would like to express his utter astonishment that you aren't carrying a book today and that it makes you look much less like a know-it-all.

Messr. Roman would like to tell you that it's a shame you feel badly about not being Snape's friend anymore. Maybe punching him in the nose will rectify the problem?

Messr. Prongs would like to agree with Roman and also say that keeping your wand behind your ear is a fire hazard, though you might look better with a new hairstyle.

Lily gazed at the page for a moment.

"Wow. Did you get this a Zunko's? A paper that insults you?" She handed it back to me, shaking her head, smiling. I laughed.

"Not at Zunko's, but basically," Secretly, I was overjoyed. We hadn't really been able to test the protective spells around the map, but now we had. I wasn't going to make her do this, but if you tried this more than three times, it would spray a foul-smelling potion at you. The insults gradually grew more insulting the more times you tried as well.

I left her to continue her Potions essay and left our dorm, heading to the boys' stairs to tell them the good news. I opened the door and found them sitting just where I had left them.

"Did it work?" Remus asked.

"It worked," I grinned. James pumped a fist.

"Great! Whos up for a celebration? After all, it's eight at night. Perfect time to start a party!" Sirius grinned. I laughed.

"Why not?" I said, standing. "Who wants to come with me to get food?" James stood abruptly.

"I'll go," He said, winking. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright. Be back in a minute boys." I gave a small salute and James followed me out. We made our way through the portrait hole and out into the hallway. James decided it was a good idea to wrap an arm around my waist and I let him think that it was. We had a light conversation and soon we reached the portrait of the fruit bowl. James took his hand off my waist and tickled the pear. Per usual, it laughed and giggled, and morphed into a doorknob. He gestured me in with a wink and followed after.

"Miss Brooks! Wonderful to see you again," Folly greeted, bowing low to the floor.

"Folly! Wonderful to see you again too. Listen, we're going to need a ton of snacks. Whatever you can get us we'll take. Also, a _lot_ of hot chocolate," I grinned and Folly laughed.

"Sounds like a lot. Will you be able to eat all that?"

"Trust me, five teenagers, four of which are boys? The food'll be gone in seconds." She laughed again and gestured for several other house elves to grab snacks as well.

"Would you like to take it, or would you like us to drop it off for you, miss?" Folly asked. I blinked, momentarily surprised.

"You can do that? Bring it to us?" I asked. She nodded vigorously. "Well— well that'd be great! Wait. Will that work though?" I looked at James.

"A bunch of house elves heading to the gryffindor common room? That could cause some suspicion for sure," James raised an eyebrow.

"What if we all have a sleepover in the passageway behind the mirror?" I suggested. James snapped his fingers.

"Perfect. We need to tell the others though."

"Right. Folly?" I asked, turning back to her.

"Yes, miss?"

"That's a great idea, but we need to show you where to go. We also need to tell our friends. What if while you're all getting this ready, we run back to the common room, grab our friends, come back, and show you?" She nodded vigorously.

"That'll work, miss. We'll be ready." She smiled.

"Perfect. Thanks!" I said and pulled James out the door. "We need to hurry," I said. pulling him along. It was taking some time for my eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness.

"Alright," He said, and we began to speed-walk. We got maybe halfway there when we heard the noise of someone's footsteps. Silently and suddenly, James pulled me into a shadowed corner and pressed me against the wall. The footsteps grew louder and we waited with bated breath. The person passed, a prefect by the looks of it. He didn't notice us. As the footsteps fell steadily quieter, I became increasingly aware of James' arms around me and his chest pressed against me.

Heat rushed to my face.

"I think he's gone," I whispered. He shushed me. More footsteps were coming our way. James pressed me tighter into the wall. It was a teacher this time. Professor McGonagall. Her glasses glinted from the moonlight coming from the window behind her. She stopped and glanced around. I felt James holding his breath. I tried to do the same but came to the awareness of his cologne.

McGonagall stood there for a few more seconds, her glasses flashing. She stared into our corner for so long I could've sworn she saw us, but she didn't say anything. A couple more seconds ticked by and she moved forward, the click of her heeled boots crisp behind her.

James let out a huge sigh of relief and pushed off from the wall. I stood in the same stop, stock-still, surprised at myself and the situation we had just been in.

"Umm, let's go," I said, hurriedly and I made a move to move past him but he stretched out an arm, blocking my path. Rushes of situations I had read about in romance novels came to mind as he did this and they reminded me of a life flashing before someone's eyes, expect much more confusing to me.

He moved just a little bit closer.

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable before. It was the only way we could fit into this corner without being seen," he said. I nodded, rushed.

"Of course, it's fine, no worries," I said, worried. Mostly just about what I was feeling in my heart right about then. A tightness. "Shouldn't we be going right about now?" I squeaked.

"Yeah, I—" He paused.

"Yes? What is it?" I inquired, trying to slow my fast-paced heart.

"I—" He didn't finish his sentence. We stood in the dark, a little uncomfortably. Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me, hugging me close to his body as he spun slowly. The breath left me.

"What—what are you doing?" I swallowed, trying to ignore the smell of his cologne once again.

"Hugging you," he said, rather too simply for the situation, I thought.

"Why?" I asked as he slowly set me down.

"Why not?" He grinned in the darkness and grabbed my hand. I was still finding it rather hard to breathe. "Let's go get our friends now."

Half an hour later, we were all together. Blankets, pillows, pyjamas, food, and more. We had pushed the table to one end of the great room and that was what we had piled the food on. We had already laid out our sleeping bags and were set for an amazing night.

For hours we sat and ate and talked and sat and ate a talked some more. It was great. There was so much laughter I wasn't sure the whole room could contain it all. But soon enough, the food was gone, we were all tired, and the conversation stopped flowing. The party had come to an unofficial stop.

Someone whispered nox and the room went dark.

I laid in my sleeping bag and waited for sleep to claim me. I couldn't ignore the presence of the already sleeping James who was to my left. He rolled over in his sleep and turned toward me. I looked at him. He smiled in his sleep and my heart seemed to stop.

To save myself from potential heart failure, I rolled over onto my other side. Right before I was about to fall asleep, an arm wrapped around me, pulling me close.

"James," I said, quietly. He didn't respond. " _James_ ," I hissed. He pulled me closer and sleepily mumbled something into my ear.

"Mmm..." So he sleep talks. Great. "I...Iris" I jolted, and I hated myself for straining to hear more. "Iris..." He murmured and pulled me tighter to him.

I blushed and pushed his arm off me. No way. No _way_. I can't handle this, I just can't. I scooted a bit further away, away from his reach and tried to fall asleep.

I hated myself for secretly enjoying the way he made my heart race without even trying. I tried to fall asleep.

In the clearest voice yet, barely murmured, easily discernable, he said something that made my heart drop.

"...I love you..."


	33. Waning

Remus growled. His teeth were bared. I padded up to him and nestled my muzzle into his fur. He seemed to calm down a bit, enough for the rest of the marauders to edge forward safely. We watched as he slowly calmed down. He was happy and in the mood for some shenaniganry. We ushered him through the back door, away from the rest of Hogsmeade and ran in the direction of the forbidden forest. The forbidden forest was the only place we could horse around and not worry about Remus accidentally... you know. Killing someone.

We scampered, galloped, and clawed our way through the trees to an empty field that was perfect for wrestling. It wasn't far in, and we got there quickly. This was the last full moon that would happen before school ended, and we intended to make the best of it.

Upon reaching the clearing, Remus stood on his haunches and howled up at the moon. Sirius and I joined in, the three of our howls coursing as one through the forest and into the night sky. Remus stopped and bared his teeth in a wicked grin. Now the fun could begin.

"I feel like I have a hangover," Remus groaned, as he sat up in his hospital bed. I grinned at him, looking up from my book.

"You _look_ like you have a hangover," I snickered. He just groaned again. "Drink that," I said, nodding to the vial beside his bed. He picked it up, rolling it around in the palm of his hand. "Madame Pomfrey said to."

He looked at it for another second but he uncorked it and swallowed the whole thing in one gulp. He made a face and I laughed. I drew a serious tone though.

"Are you up for going to the party tonight, or no?" There was a party tonight in the Hufflepuff common room to celebrate the end of school. All the students of all the houses were invited. (The Hufflepuff's 'secret' entrance was widely known and any person of any house was always welcome. Twas the Hufflepuff way.) Remus grimaced.

"I don't think so. This particular transformation was more difficult than usual," He frowned. "Might've been 'cause I forgot to eat dinner last night..." I sighed. He always forgot to eat. If he was caught up in a task he wouldn't stop to think about the necessary things. For example, eating, sleeping, class. He'd skip any of these things if he wanted.

"Alright, I'll hang out with you then," I said, matter-of-factly. Remus inclined an eyebrow.

"And makes you think I need to be babysat?" Remus inquired, with a slight hint of grump in his voice.

"You don't. I'm just refusing to leave you alone," I shrugged.

"Oh, don't spoil the night because of me, I know you love parties," he coaxed.

"Yes, but I love you more," I said with finality. He paused, as though considering my words.

"Alright, but only because I know I can't stop you," he sighed. I grinned.

"Too right, you can't," I said, returning to my book. "By the way, you missed Defense Against the Dark Arts again, I brought you the notes," I said, nodding to the small stack on the bedside table.

"Thanks," He said. "Where are the others?" I rolled my eyes.

"They were here half an hour ago, but they're probably out wreaking havoc as usual." Remus laughed.

"You'd better go stop them then," He suggested. I groaned.

"I should, shouldn't I?" I sighed and slung my bag over my shoulder. "See you tonight," I saluted him. He did the same, far more sardonically. I turned and ran out into the hall to find the boys. I wound my way through the castle, searching high and low. I was about to head to the common room when I heard a whoop and a rush coming from behind me.

James, Sirius, and Peter were running straight toward me, donning varying degrees of terror and excited adrenaline. I soon figured out why. They sped past me and the roaring rush became louder. I turned to look and was faced with a giant wave, tumbling toward me. My eyes widen and I shrieked.

James just laughed and grabbed me by the arm, pulling me with him. I picked up my pace, sprinting as fast as I could.

"You absolute buffoons!" I screamed over the crashing wave. James laughed. "What did you do?"

"We flooded the prefects' bathroom!" He whooped, jumping, fist in the air. The crashing of the water grew so loud I couldn't hear the rest of what he said. I turned and looked behind me. The wave was inches away. We were going to be swept away, slammed into the stone walls— James grabbed my arms again, pulling me into a different hallway, running after Sirius and Peter, who were miraculously ahead of us. The wave crashed forward, past the hallway, but soon another wave formed, chasing us.

I screamed bloody murder to James, Sirius, Peter, and the wave, but it couldn't be heard over the noise. As we made our way down the floors, we began running into more and more students who looked at us, gaping, in shock. They all quickly looked to see what we were running away from and joined us in our sprint.

We almost were two hallways away from the door to the outside, when the wave caught up to us. We were cornered. A wave was crashing toward us from the back and the front. I paused to grab a life-saving breath before I was swept into the wave. The terrible noise was silenced as the rose scented water rolled around me, pushing me out the double doors. I coasted the wave until I tumbled, spluttering, out into the front yard along with hundreds of other students. The after-wave washed over me, dousing me again. I sat up, spluttering in the muddy grass.

A third, less violent wave smoothed its way out the door, James stuck in this one. He was surf-boarded over to me, stomach first, face full of mud. He laid there, unmoving, exhausted from the run. I hit him upside the head. He sat up, rubbing the place I had hit.

"Ow," he said. He glanced at me, taking in my mud coated uniform and my dangerous eyes flashing with a grin and the most self-satisfied expression I have ever seen. I hit him upside the head again. "Ow! Stop that!" He rubbed the spot again, with more rigour.

"You idiot. You could've killed someone," I chewed him out. It was ineffective, he just grinned wider.

"I'm sorry. I was just looking for a reason to give you CPR," He winked.

"Oh, go to hell," I huffed at him. He just smiled wider.

"So I shall, eventually," He smirked. I growled at his remark, but he stood and offered me a hand. All around me, students were moaning and groaning, standing up and getting stuck in the oddly soapy-smelling mud. I took his hand and pushed off the ground. I grabbed the hem of my skirt, eyeing the muddiness and dampness of it. I cursed.

"Language, missy," James wagged a finger at me.

"English," I retorted. He laughed. "The house elves are gonna have a ton of laundry to do," I said, eyeing him. He grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Aw, well. At least it was fun,"

"Fun? Fun! Maybe for you, but I rather like being dry," I muttered.

"Wouldn't you rather be wet?" James said, winked suggestively.

I shoved him into a particularly large pile of mud.

"If you'll excuse me," I said, shouldering my wet, mud-filled, grass-stained bag over my shoulder and whipping my soaked hair out behind me. I could hear him chuckling but I ignored him.

I hurried to my dorm to change and shower. I managed to snag the bathroom before any of my dormmates did, and I locked the door. I quickly turned on the water to let it warm up and peeled the dripping clothing off me.

I sighed and looked at the tangled, muddied mess that was my hair and stepped into the thankfully warm shower. I had some thinking to do.

James and my relationship had... changed ever since the sleepover party we had had a couple of days ago. Of course, he didn't realize that, but I was all too aware.

I had never really been bothered by him telling me he loved me in the past. Sure it made me uncomfortable sometimes, I didn't return his feelings no matter what everyone else said, but it was always fine. It was easy to regard his so-called 'flirting' as a simple joke. He flirted with many girls. Many, _many_ girls. Heck, he had a whole Fanclub of them, and most of them were more attractive than me. Traditionally at least.

Because I knew that and because I knew what a great actor he was, him telling me 'I love you' was never a huge thing. At least, I never thought of it like it was. But... him saying it in his sleep meant something else. You can't act when you're asleep. Him saying the three words I had learned to hear all the time from him, _meant_ something for once; That he wasn't acting. He wasn't just flirting for the fun of it and he was serious.

He... he loved me.

It scalded my heart and turned my stomach in ways I had never thought possible. I had never had anyone love me. It was a simple truth to me, but a stab in the chest to others. I had never loved, I have never _been_ loved for as long as I can remember.

Just another reminder of what might've been.

I didn't even know if I was capable of loving. Sure, I loved my friends, but romantically? Never. With Fabian I had thought... it was possible. But, it hadn't ended up working.

James Potter, saying three words in his sleep, had changed my life radically.

What would it be like to love? To be loved? I had no idea. But... I sort of wanted it.

But did I want it from him? I didn't know.

Did I love James Potter?

That was the end-all-be-all question. And the problem was, I didn't know. I truly didn't know. But it piqued an interest in my heart.

What would it feel like to love?

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Remus sighed, sitting against the wall.

"Not without you," I stated, matter-of-factly. He groaned but returned to his History of Magic paper. I looked over his shoulder. "Ooo, you picked the Goblin wars? I was gonna pick that, but I decided on doing the origin of the myth of Greek gods and their connection with the discovery of magic."

"Interesting," he commented.

We worked for ages, sitting together, doodling in the margins of each other's papers. James, Sirius and Peter had long left for the party. I had explained why I wasn't going and had to insist it be me instead of one of the others. Remus had looked on with an amusing eye.

I finally got my way when I threatened to get into a fist fight with anyone who argued with me. The surrendered and had gone to the party.

But that was a while ago. I finished up my paper and glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight. I looked over at Remus who hadn't moved in a while and was leaning on my shoulder. He was fast asleep, his breath coming in and out in rhythmic sighs. I smiled and leaned my head on his. It took a while, but soon, I was fast asleep. Darkness filled the room.

(James POV)

The party was fun, less so because Iris wasn't here, but Remus needed to be with someone instead of alone and though I hated to admit it, Iris was best for the job.

I pulled a slightly tipsy Sirius from the armchair where he had been sleeping (He had somehow acquired a bottle of firewhiskey) and a very tired Peter and lead them out of the cosy common room that was the Hufflepuffs' and lead the way back to the Gryffindors'.

I marched them up to our dorm and opened the door quietly. I quickly spied Iris and Remus asleep, leaning against each other in the corner. I sighed at their unwillingness to stop working as I spied the almost-finished papers in their laps. Peter plopped onto his bed, not bothering to change into his pyjamas and promptly fell asleep. I had to drag Sirius to his and only bothered to take his shoes off for him.

He rolled in his sleep and turned away from me.

I shut the door quietly, shutting out any light from the hallways and made my way over to the sleeping two. I carefully grabbed Iris' shoulders and pushed her gently to the wall. She lolled her head in her sleep and she put her weight on the wall instead of Remus.

I gently grabbed Remus and picked him up around the middle, setting him down on his bed. He was already in his pyjamas because he said they were more comfortable to study in. Lies. He probably knew this would happen. Making sure Remus was situated properly I returned to Iris, who was still leaning against the wall.

I carefully wrapped my arms around her back and legs and picked her up bridal style. He curled up in her sleep and grabbed the front of my shirt securely. I bit my lip to keep from laughing as I carefully set her down in my bed. I gently took her hand and removed it from the collar of my shirt. She immediately cuddled against the blanket. I smiled and stood up straight.

Now for me.

I supposed I could sleep in the chair again... yes, that could work. I grabbed the chair from the desk and stole a blanket from Sirius' bed. I curled up as comfortably as I could and tried to sleep.

I was rather tired from dancing and singing all night, but my mind whirred at its usual break-neck speed. Why was sleeping so hard?

My last thought before I drifted off to sleep was how serene Iris looked in her sleep. She was almost a different person...


	34. Home

Today was the last day. Exams were over, the Marauders had done their final prank of the year, the feast was over... All that was left was the train trip and then it would be official. No one dreaded the end of school more than I.

I was sharing a compartment with _all_ my friends somehow. Remus and Lily were away doing prefect duties, but Sirius, James, Peter, Marlene, Mary, and I sat, chatting and talking amiably and excitedly about summer plans. James sat in front of me and Marlene sat on my left. Sirius sat in front of her and they were having a very spirited, almost aggressive conversation about quidditch. They kept talking over each other and trading ideas.

It was amusing to watch them. I turned and saw James watching me.

"What?" I asked as he looked on amusedly.

"Nothing. They seem to be getting along well," He said, nodding to the left (his right) at Sirius and Marlene. I smiled.

"They do, don't they? Funny, I used to think Marlene had a crush on him," I said, nonchalantly. James cocked an eyebrow.

"Really? I never thought Marlene was the type to go after bad boys," He winked and I laughed.

"She's more the type to _use_ guys I suppose. She dates them for the benefit only. Surely you remember when she went to the Christmas party with George?" I asked. James nodded. "Well, let's just say he has a lot of money and gave her things often. Heck, he asked her out by giving her a silver necklace probably worth more than my house."

I glanced her way to see if she was paying attention to anything I was saying. She wasn't.

"She's not a bad girl, she just sees places where she can get gains and takes advantage of it. For her credit, all the guys she's dated have been jerks and totally deserved it. So she dates them to take their money and keep them away from other girls and moves on." I shrugged. James looked on, thoughtfully.

"Sounds like Sirius," James said. It was my turn to cock a brow.

"How so?"

"He dates girls who... let's say... throw themselves into bad relationships and uses guys to make others jealous. He tries to show them how guys ought to teach them. He does it a little nicer than Marlene does, but sort of the same," James shrugged. "He acts like the bad boy, but in reality, he's literally the sweetest guy and has really helped a lot of girls out. Gives great relationship advice too." James took a bite of a chocolate frog and looked thoughtful.

"But that sounds great! Why on earth do the relationships end so quickly?" I asked, quizzically. James smiled.

"They either don't learn, or they leave him when they find out he won't go further than to kiss them,"

It took me a moment to take in the capacity of that statement.

"He... is he a virgin?" I asked, shocked but quietly so that he couldn't overhear me. James chuckled at my face.

"Yup. Only because he chooses to be, obviously," James snickered. I gaped.

"But he's Sirius freaking Black, there no way..." I said trailing off.

"I told you; the playboy idea is all a ruse. He's only ever kissed," James stated matter-of-factly. I sat for a few moments, in utter shock.

"Wow," I said finally. James laughed and offered me a chocolate frog. I took it, thanking him and ate it. I glanced at the card. Artemisia Lufkin. Cool.

There came a knock on the door. We looked up and it opened revealing Remus and Lily. Looking thoroughly exhausted from prefect duties. Hm. I had forgotten about my plan for Remus and Sirius...

The train ride was far too short. Far too short. My stomach lurched along with the train when it came to a stop at platform nine and three-quarters. I grabbed my trunk and the rest of my things and stepped off the train. I made my way through the crowds to the exiting wall. A hand caught my arm before I stepped through. I looked up.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey..." James said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "I was wondering if we could maybe hang out this summer?"

"Oh," In all honesty, I didn't think I'd be able too, which made me sadder than I thought it would. "I don't know. Hopefully, I— I mean..." I bit my lip.

"It's okay if you don't know your schedule. Let's just keep in touch. Owls," James grinned. I smiled back.

"Of course," I said. I looked back behind him where his parents were waiting. "I've got to go..." I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. He put a hand there, looking at me surprised. I almost let myself flush. "Bye." My hand trailed down his arm and I squeezed his hand goodbye.

Before I let myself think about what had just happened, I stepped through the wall, out into the muggle station. I pushed my trolley to where you were supposed to leave them and I dragged my trunk off it.

It was time to begin the long trek home. I took the handle on one of the sides and began to drag the blasted thing out of the building. I ignored the funny looks I was getting because it couldn't be helped. It was far too big to carry.

My house was a few miles away from the train station and I made my way along the sidewalk. It was an unusually hot day. Great. I felt the sweat dripping down my chest and back and I lugged the darned thing through the streets. Halfway there, I stopped and took a break. Sitting on the wretched trunk, I debated whether or not it was safe for me to use a spell on the trunk. I had debated this same thing for years and every year came up with the same answer; no.

I checked my watch. I had been walking for half an hour. I sighed, stood, and grabbed the handle of my trunk again. I began again, dragging myself through the streets of London. Another half hour passed and I found myself on my street. Sighing, I dragged it the last four blocks.

The house was a shade that told you it used to be a light blue colour, and the porch swing told you that it had been years since it had been used. The house was a good size, but it had not been kept in good condition for a while now. Ten years, I thought bitterly.

Marta was waiting for me outside. As I walked up, I fished out something from my pocket. A check. I handed it to her.

Marta was a beautiful girl. Dark bronze skin, dark curly hair that was always tied up somehow. Today it was in a ponytail, tied with a yellow bandana that matched the short dress she wore. She was also carrying a brown leather suitcase. She slipped the check into her pocket and handed me the keys to the house. I smiled at her, tiredly.

"How is she?" I asked, fumbling with the keys.

"It's one of her good days," She nodded, smiling. Her green eyes twinkled.

"Good. Good..." I sighed again. "Well, thank you. So much, honestly. I'll owl you in case of anything or just... whatever," I said waving my hand around.

"It's no problem, Iris. Goodbye," She waved and turned on her heel, apparating away. I sighed again, for what seemed the hundredth time and fumbled with the keys again. I managed to unlock the door. I grabbed the trunk and lugged it inside, closing the door behind me.

I stepped inside fully. There she was. Sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. Her hair was wispier than I remembered and she looked older. More wrinkles.

"Hello, mum," I said, fake cheerily. She sat, silently. "How was your day today?" Again, no answer. Unsurprising. I took out my wand. "Locomotor trunk," I pointed at the trunk and lead it to my bedroom. I opened the door. It was dark. I pulled up the shades and let the sun stream in. It was dusty. I sighed dejectedly. I'd clean it later. I stepped out and closed the door behind me. I turned and jumped. She stood beside me, staring at me blankly.

"Oh! Hello, mum, you gave me a fright." She didn't move. She was still taller than me, I realized with some discomfort. I checked my watch. "It's almost six, why don't we—"

"You're back," she said. Her voice was gravelly as if it hadn't been used often. She said it with no emotion. She blinked her emotionless, dark, beady eyes.

"Yes, mum." I paused to see if she'd say anything else. She didn't. I stepped out of the hallway and moved toward the kitchen. She followed, her quiet, padding footsteps uneven. I looked through the cupboards to see what we had. "Would you like potatoes for dinner or mac n' cheese?" I turned to her. She didn't bother to answer, but waddled away, back to the couch so that she could stare at the wall. "Mac n' cheese it is then," I muttered.

It didn't take very long for me to make the food and soon I joined her on the couch, two bowls of steaming noodles in my hands. I handed her one of the bowls. She began to eat. Very slowly.

"Why are you back?" She asked, still staring at the wall with her empty eyes. Her hands moved slowly, creakily. She ate robotically.

"Because schools over," I said, simply. I stabbed a few noodles and brought them to my lips.

"You don't belong here," she said. My fork stopped for a second but started again.

"I know," I said, quietly. She was silent. She blinked slowly. I stood abruptly and headed to the kitchen. I filled the sink with soapy water and quickly washes the pot, the bowl, and the spoon and headed to my room. I opened the door and sneezed. I shut the door behind me. The sun had gone down, so the open curtains didn't help. I switched on the light. The room was exactly as I'd left it. My small bed in the corner, my dresser, and the closet.

The worn carpet sat in the middle of the room. I pulled the curtains closed and took out my wand.

"Scourgify," I muttered and waved my wand. The dust and cobwebs disappeared from the room and the dead bugs in the light fixture disappeared, leaving the room marginally brighter. The mirror atop my dresser was shined. I unlocked my trunk and opened my empty closet. I waved my wand again and my belongings floated into their places.

My shirts, robes, and dresses hung themselves up in the closet, my jeans and sweatshirts folded themselves up and plopped into my dresser. My shoes shrewn themselves at the bottom of my closet in neat pairs, and my socks joined my sweatshirts in the dresser. My books, parchment, quills and other school supplies arranged themselves in piles in the corner by my bed. The small amount of makeup and hair supplies I owned stacked themselves on the dresser in front of the mirror.

My trunk floated, and, closing itself, slid underneath my bed. I silently thanked my dad's wand for allowing me to do underage magic and put on my pyjamas. I came out of the room and walked out into the living room. My mum was sitting there. I checked the sink and saw that she had washed her silverware and drained the water.

"C'mon Mum. it's time for bed," I said. She didn't look at me, but she stood and made her way to her bedroom. I was about to go in and see if she needed help but she shut the door in my face. Vaguely amused by this, I shook my head and turned, heading back to the kitchen. I opened the freezer and pulled out a pint of ice cream. It was oreo flavoured.

I grabbed a spoon and sat down on the couch, curling up, and began to eat.

I thought as I ate. The ice cream helped the terrible knot of emotions in my chest, but there's only so much ice cream can do.

A tear trailed down my cheek and hit the ice cream, melting the little spot slightly.

It was going to be a dreadfully long summer.


	35. A/N

**Hiya! It's me! The author!**

**Alright, so this obviously isn't an update, but it _is_ a warning.**

**The next few chapters aren't going to be... how shall I say... usual.**

**I should specify;**

**This is a trigger warning.**

**The next few chapters I have planned are going to involve some abuse.**

**There is going to be verbal and physical abuse.**

**In order to keep my absolutely wonderful readers safe, I have set up a system.**

**At the beginning of the chapters that involve mature things, I'm going to specify what kind (Verbal/Physical), its extremity (1-5, one being slight, five being extremely descriptive), and a small, vague telling of exactly what happens.**

**I do not mean to scare you, and I want you all to know that I won't go into huge detail.**

**I don't know exactly how many chapters I am going to write that involve this, but this is what it'll look like if it does;**

* * *

**TRIGGER WARNING**

**(Verbal/Physical) (1-5)**

**(Description of events)**

* * *

**I just want to keep you guys safe, I don't want to scare you, and I certainly don't want you to think you won't be safe when you're reading my story.**

**Her backstory is incredibly important to the story and starts the emotional tumble she feels in regards to James Potter.**

**If you decide not to read a chapter, DO NOT WORRY! After any chapter I write that involves a trigger warning, the description will bring you up to date.**

**Again, I love you all, and I want to be clear when I say that the chapters I write will not be in depth, they will not be incredibly detailed, and they will not be explicit.**

**I want my readers to feel safe.**

**< 3**


	36. Slytherin

_(Eleven years prior)_

_"Daddy? Can you tell me the story of when you and mummy met?" A very adorable, five-year-old Iris, asked. Her father looked down at her, adoringly, pulling the blankets up to her chin._

_"Of course, darling. But please go to bed after this," He waggled a finger at her and she giggled. "It all started at Hogwarts—"_

_"I love Hogwarts!" she giggled._

_"I know you do," he grinned and booped her nose. She laughed. "Anyway. She was beautiful from the moment I saw her, I just knew she had to be mine." He looked down at his daughter, who was smiling contentedly. "I crossed my fingers at the sorting that she'd be in my house—"_

_"Slytherin!" Iris yelled out, excitedly. He laughed._

_"Yes. The best house."_

_"The best house," she repeated, clapping her hands._

_"Luckily, she was. I was so happy, I immediately asked her out on a date. My stupid little eleven-year-old-self was heartbroken when she refused, but I knew I still had seven more years to convince her."_

_A small, light knock was heard. Daughter and father turned. A beautiful woman opened the door, green eyes glinting mischievously._

_"David, are you telling this story without me?" she asked, moving to sit down on the bed next to her spouse._

_"I was just getting to the good part," He smiled and kissed her cheek. She grinned, rolling her eyes and brushed a lock of auburn brown hair out of her face._

_"Right. Well, he asked me out the second I was sorted. He yelled it out to the whole room, like an absolute maniac." Freya Brooks shook her head at her husband, though the admonishment was several years late. He laughed._

_"I did, didn't I?" David said, reminiscing._

_"Extremely embarrassing," Iris' mum tickled her sides causing the five-year-old to laugh._

_"Anyway, I kept trying. I kept asking for a date but she continued to refuse me,"_

_"What can I say? I thought he was annoying," Freya shrugged._

_"I probably was," he grinned. "But in the fifth year, she finally consented." He smiled at his now wife._

_"I did it just to appease him. I was sure he'd stop bothering me after that," She laughed as she saw the look her husband gave her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder._

_"She must've seen something she liked, because she accepted my second date request, and then a third." David, smiled at his wife, teasingly._

_"I must say, they were very romantic dates. Flowers every time, a picnic at midnight, he once kidnapped me on a broom because he knew I was terrified of flying and it was the only time I allowed him to hold me. Probably what he was after in the first place," She covered her mouth and laughed at his love-sick eyes._

_"What can I say? I know how to get what I want," His eyes glinted mischievously in the dark and he tickled his wife, who laughed and shove away his fingers._

_"By this time, the whole school was addicted to our relationship and we knew it, so when he asked to be my boyfriend we decided to tease the whole school. A prank if you will," Freya explained to her daughter, who was listening intently._

_"Yes," Agreed the father, smiling. "We'd do continually flirty things in public but continued denying our relationship. It was hilarious until one of my best friends found out and announced it to the whole school with a howler," Freya was laughing, wiping tears from her eyes. He squeezed her, nuzzling into her neck._

_"It was hilarious to see my friends reactions. They couldn't believe I'd finally fallen in love with him. I'd despised him for ages," Freya sighed, remembering._

_"Anyway, after we'd graduated from Hogwarts, your mum and I continued dating until I finally proposed." The three of them glanced at Freya's ring, a beautiful silver band with a brilliant green emerald the shade of her eyes in the centre. "It was an amazing day. We announced it to our families who were overjoyed,"_

_"We had to have a normal wedding so I wouldn't reveal the wizarding world to my extended family, but we had a magical wedding later with his whole family and my parents and siblings. They were both gorgeous weddings. We had daisies as the centrepieces and I had a bouquet of orchids..." She sighed in reverie. Her husband laughed._

_"Yes, but the most beautiful thing of all was your mum," he said. His wife laughed, squeezing his hand. David laughed, smiling adoringly at her._

_"I wore a gorgeous dress. Oh, when you older you can try it on!" Freya said, excitedly. "It had a full skirt, but a little shorter so you could see my shoes, and it was tight around the waist and had a scoop neck and sleeves that reached my elbow, oh, it was beautiful," She sighed again._

_"She was beautiful in it," Her husband laughed, wrapping his arms around her tighter. "And of course the whole colour scheme was silver and green—"_

_"Slytherin colours!" Iris said, excitedly. Her mum laughed._

_"Of course. We wanted to celebrate the house that brought us together, after all." She fiddled with her ring again._

_"And then, two years later, we had you! Our beautiful daughter who looked just as beautiful as her mum," Her dad looked down at her in adoration and tickled his daughter's neck. Iris giggled, wriggling to avoid his fingers._

_"I wanna look just like you when I grow up, mummy," She grinned up at her mum in adoration._

_"Good idea," Her father said, nodding. "Well. That's the story."_

_Iris sighed, contentedly and sleepily._

_"You need to be getting to bed, darling," Her mother said, standing and pecking her daughter on her forehead. Her father did the same._

_"Good night, darling," he said, hand on the doorknob._

_"Good night!" Iris called out, snuggling into her blankets. Her father shut the door and Iris soon began to grow sleepier. "I wanna be in Slytherin when I grow up..." She said, trailing off. She promptly fell asleep._

_The stars swirled in the inky dark sky outside. The seventh planet was glowing brighter than usual._

_Wonderful things never last for as long as they ought._


	37. A Monotonous Pattern

I woke up and immediately regretted it. Dusty sunlight was shining in through the crack between the curtains, directly onto my face. I cursed. It was early, I could tell. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I muttered curses under my breath as I tossed my covers off and swung my legs off the edge of the bed.

I stood unsteadily, taking in my grey bedroom. My bed was even smaller than I remembered, my carpet more worn. At least it was clean. I pulled open the curtains, letting the sunlight fill the rest of the room, smarting my eyes. I closed them for a moment, letting the light soak into my skin, waking me further. I stepped away from the window and over to my closet. I grabbed the first thing I saw; a yellow dress with a white collar. I slipped it on, pulling the tie tight around my waist. I grabbed a black scrunchie and pulled my hair into a high ponytail.

No shoes. It was a no-shoes kind of day.

I looked into the grubby floor-length mirror beside my dresser. My outfit looked far more cheery than I was. I smiled a tight-lipped smile and stepped away. I grabbed my wand from the top of my dresser. Tucking it into my pocket, I quietly opened the door and stepped through. I closed it behind me, skillfully making sure to dull the click and made my way to the living room.

Mum was already there, staring at the wall per usual.

"Good morning, mum!" I said, faking as much cheerfulness as I could without throwing up. It didn't look as though she had eaten breakfast yet, so I made my way to the kitchen. Blessed, wonderful Marta had bought as much food as she could before leaving, so I wouldn't have to go shopping for at least another two weeks. I grabbed a box of cereal and the two bowls. I plucked the two spoons from the mason jar on the counter and grabbed a carton of milk out of the fridge and carefully brought everything to the small dining table.

"Breakfast, mum," I called over my shoulder and sat down. A small pattering of uneven footsteps fell behind me. My mother carefully, slowly, pulled out the second chair and sat down, gingerly, taking nothing in with her dull, grey eyes. I helped her pour the cereal and milk into her bowl and did the same for myself.

We ate quietly. I finished first and brought my bowl and spoon to the sink, bringing with me the milk and cereal. I put the milk and cereal away and began to clean the bowl and spoon, trying to use the least amount of water and soap as possible. I finished. I turned and accidentally knocked mum's bowl to the floor. She stood beside me. I hadn't noticed her. I swore as the pieces scattered themselves across the tile floor.

"Look at how clumsy you are," Mum said quietly, staring at one of the cabinets. I sighed, offering no reply, but pulled out my wand and cast a non-verbal reparo. The bowl pulled itself together and I picked it up off the floor and washed it along with the spoon she had placed beside it.

Mum tottered off to the couch again, leaving me to finish the dishes.

I was soon done but stood in front of the sink deep in thoughtless thought.

I didn't stay there for long, however. I had lots to do. The house needed a deep cleaning. Of course, I could do all this with a wave of my father's wand, but then I'd be left bored with nothing to do, and boredom was poison in this circumstance.

It wasn't like I had anything to do anyway. I only had my school books to read. We couldn't afford the simple luxury of paper and extra ink, so some drawing was out of the picture. I didn't own a punching bag, so that was out as well. The house was boring, simple as that. It was tough not to get stuck in the simple monotony that was my life without school, but I had strategies.

I walked out of the kitchen and into the hall, opening the closet door. I grabbed the broom (the cleaning kind, not the flying kind) and began to sweep the floors. I ignored my will to sneeze as small clouds of dust picked up from the corners. A good sized pile began to form and I swept it up using the dustpan and continued.

I was done in an hour. I put away the broom and dustpan.

As I rolled up my sleeves and grabbed the mop, I filled a bucket with soapy water. It soon turned grey as I made my way through the house. Half an hour later I was done. It was still morning.

I sighed, leaning on the mop as I waited for the floors could dry so I could make my way to the closet. I glanced over at the couch. Mum was still there. I glanced at the floor. The thin spots of water were slowly drawing away. I watched as they slowly shrivelled up, out of existence. I bitterly wished I could do the same. I made my way to the kitchen and wrung out the mop head in the sink. I dumped out the grey, soapy water as well, watching the small tornado form as it swept down the drain.

I grabbed the feather duster and began going around all the furniture in the house.

We didn't own a radio, so I had to work in silence, forcing my thoughts not to turn grey to match everything else in the wretched place. Dusting took even less time and I was done in fifteen minutes.

I glanced at the clock. Close enough. I grabbed a can of potato soup from the cupboard and dumped it into a small saucepan. I grabbed the milk and filled the now empty can halfway and filled it the rest of the way with water. I dumped it into the pan as well. Deciding I wanted some broccoli in it as well, I quickly grabbed a pack of the frozen veggies and dumped half the bag into the pan.

I took out my wand and waved it over the pot, stirring the whole thing, waiting for it to heat up. It only took about ten minutes. I turned off the heat and grabbed the two bowls and the two spoons from the drying rack. I took all this to the table including a heating pad. I didn't bother telling my mother. She was already at the table.'

I ate slowly.

I wished I had some bread to go with the soup, but decided against it. I might need some later.

I made myself take half an hour to eat and then got up to do the dishes again. Mum had long finished and hadn't bothered to wash her bowl. I took the dishes to the sink and debated over whether or not I should do the dishes now or later with the dinner dishes. I decided to do them now. After all, we only owned two of all silver and dishware.

I did this slowly, deliberately.

I glanced at the clock. Only six more hours of the day. I sighed heavily. I slowly made my way to the closet again and grabbed a glass cleaner and a rag. I slowly made my way through every window in the house. I also did all three mirrors. The two in my bedroom and the one in the bathroom.

The bathroom. The next place to clean. I cleaning the sink, counters, toilet and everything in the room faster than I would have liked.

I was tired. I did mum's bedroom and the couches magically. Four more hours until supper.

I headed to my room and sat on the edge of my bed. Two hours in and I was laid spread-eagle on the floor, staring at the ceiling, watching my fan spin lazily around in circles. As much as I hated to admit it, I desperately wanted a letter. From anyone, I didn't care, just anyone. I'd even be eager for one from Potter.

Unfortunately, we couldn't afford the luxury of an owl. My friends would have to send me a letter first.

My mind re-read all the books I had enjoyed during the school year. I had several books Remus had given me over the course of Christmases and birthdays sitting in my trunk along with my school textbooks and supplies, but I'd read those hundreds of times. I debated going to the library but decided against it. Better save that errand for Saturday, when I'd be going to renew my membership at the gym. I couldn't wait to see my boxing coach. Nine months was a long time.

I wondered if I should get a head-start on my summer homework but decided as I always did, that it'd be better to do that on Sundays. Sundays I never had anything to do.

I made a plan for tomorrow's activities. I clean the outside of the house and repaint it. After all, we'd had an unopened paint can in the closet for ages. Better put it to good use.

That project could last two or three days, four if I could drag it out long enough. Then it would be the weekend, then the next week I'd begin replanting the garden and caring for the yard.

Having planned these plans, I was now bored again. No. Not bored. Boredom is poison, I reprimanded myself. Saying that was the only thing that kept me from going insane. I began to wish for a letter again. Realizing that this wasn't getting me anywhere, I got up and pulled on my workout clothes. Of course, I couldn't box without a punching bag, unless I wanted to air punch, which I didn't, but I could do other things.

I started with two hundred pushups. I then did a hundred crunches, and an elbow plank and a palm plank for three minutes each. I did two hundred jumping jacks and a hundred squats. I then tried to see how long I could hold a handstand. I succeeded in seven minutes, breaking my last personal record, before falling over. I then did mountain climbers for three minutes and Russian twists for three minutes as well before starting the whole routine over.

I did this for the next two hours.

Once finished, I promptly began making dinner. Fish and green beans. I pulled out the two plates and two forks and set the table. I sliced half a lemon and filled our cups. I called mum over and we ate. I started with my green beans and finished those quicker than I wanted. I then squeezed a lemon slice over my fish and ate that. I drank my water and brought all the dirty dishes over to the sink.

I washed everything, including the plate, fork, and cup mum brought over when she was finished and made my way to my room. I grabbed my pyjamas and crossed the hall to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower and jumped in quickly, ignoring the coldness of it so as not to waste water. I finished quickly and dried off. I dragged on my pyjamas and began combing my hair. It took a little bit. It was tangled from the work I'd been doing all day, but it quickly began to brush smooth.

I then rubbed a small amount of coconut oil on my face to moisturize it and brushed my teeth.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a while, taking in myself and the world around me. Just 2.96341 months of this.

I grimaced and turned off the light, moving back to my room. I pulled the curtains closed and jumped into bed, curling up and pulling my covers up to my chest. My eyes didn't have enough time to adjust to the darkness. I fell asleep too quickly.


	38. Hero

_(Eleven years prior)_

_The family of three was seated around the dinner table, eating plates of bangers and mash. A bit of a stereotypical meal by English standards, but it was one of the only things the five-year-old Iris would eat without complaining. Metal clinked on porcelain as the family ate quietly, but contentedly._

_Iris was smooshing her potatoes around with a spoon, accidentally flinging some onto her face. She just laughed and wiped it off with a chubby finger. She looked around for a napkin but didn't find one so she not-so-subtly wiped it on the tablecloth._

_Her father laughed. His laugh was the type of laugh that could make the grumpiest of people smile. It carried the joy required of a good father. He helped Iris wipe the rest of the potatoes off her face and then cleared his throat._

_"So," He paused. His wife looked up, intently. "I got a job offer today."_

_Freya's eyes widened in surprise._

_"Really? Whatever for?" she asked, slicing into her second sausage. He paused, briefly._

_"Auror,"_

_Freya's hand stopped, knife poised halfway through her sausage. Toddler Iris continued playing with her potatoes._

_"Are—are you going to take it?" She asked this as though she were trying to be casual, but with the strained face that had you know, she was worried about the answer._

_"I don't know. That's why I brought it up," he said, shrugging._

_"Aren't aurors those people who fight bad guys?" Little Iris asked, looking at her father intently. He laughed and mussed up her hair._

_"Yes, that's exactly what they do honey," He grinned for a second but turned and looked seriously at his wife._

_"Then you should take it! You'd be like a superhero from my books, daddy," Iris said, grinning, as though that settled the matter._

_"Maybe I will, love." He turned back to his wife who was trying very hard not to look concerned. "I don't have to take the position," he said, quietly. "I know it's dangerous. I just thought maybe the amount of money could help. Especially if we want another baby—"_

_"Iris, it's time for bed honey." She stood, carefully avoiding looking at her husband's eyes, which were looking worried._

_"Aww, but mummy, I'm not done with my food yet!" Iris said, sadly._

_"You can finish it tomorrow," she said. "C'mon. Sleep." Freya picked up her daughter by the waist and carried her to her room, leaving David frowning in consternation. A few minutes passed as David sat in the chair looking very torn as he waited for his wife._

_She re-entered the room five minutes later, arms folded over her chest._

_"I don't like it," she said, still avoiding his eyes. David stood and made his way over to her. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close to his chest, resting his chin on her head._

_"I don't either." There was a rather pregnant pause as neither of them spoke. Slowly, Freya pulled away._

_"It's too dangerous. He-who-must-not-be-named is gaining power. I don't want you in that job," She spoke quietly so as not to rouse their daughter. David rested his hands on her shoulders, looking deeply into her eyes, listening to every word, every concern. "I couldn't bear if something were to happen to you. Why did they even offer you the job? What need do they have of someone from the Dangerous Beasts Disposal unit?"_

_"It's not that they need me for my current job, they need me because I'm one of the few who got the grades required of the job," he said, pushing his bangs back. Freya tilted her head._

_"What?" she asked, confused._

_"Back at Hogwarts, I got almost all O's in all my classes, including the ones required for becoming an auror. They want me because I know what I'm doing. Plus, fighting a dark wizard can't be as hard as fighting a rogue dragon." He said the last part as a joke hoping to get at least a smile from his almost distraught wife. The most she could manage was a grimace._

_"I don't like it," She said, frankly._

_"I don't either, but we need the money. We're not poor, but we're scraping by. We can't afford as much as we would like. Plus, if we really_ are _trying for another kid, we need money. Being an auror would help a_ lot _. Aurors are paid really well, for obvious reasons, and I probably won't be put on for the really dangerous missions anyway." He reassured her._

_A few doors down, Iris was slowly creeping out of her bed. She hadn't gotten a goodnight kiss from her dad, and her little self was determined to get one. She toddered out of bed and quietly opened the door, tiptoeing out into the hallway. She looked around the corner and saw her mother in her father's arms, crying quietly. He held her, rocking her on her feet, whispering reassurances in her ear._

_Iris heard a sob and understood that this was not a moment to interrupt, no matter how confused she was._

_"What about Iris? She won't see her dad for days at a time," Her mum asked thickly from David's chest._

_"It'll be okay, she'll understand. Heck, she thinks I'm going to be a hero," He laughed softly. "She knows I love her, and the days that I'll be here, I'll spend every second with you and her. I promise."_

_"Okay..." Freya whispered. David laughed sadly, a few tears trickling down his own face._

_"I love you so much," He said, softly, lovingly, brushing a strand of hair from his wife's face. She smiled a tearstained smile. He leaned down and kissed her. They kissed for a moment and then broke apart, Freya leaning her forehead of his chest._

_"I love you too. Just— please promise not to die," She smiled up at him, new tears filling her eyes. He laughed a genuine laugh this time._

_"I promise," He grinned and kissed her on the head, hugging her tight one more time, before they laid down on the couch together, hugging each other tightly as they thought. Iris slowly crept to bed, leaving her parents. She wrapped herself up in her blankets, her mind a whirl with a conversation she didn't understand and would not understand until later. Far, far later._

_She fell asleep far quicker than either of her parents._

_Sometimes, promises can be harder to keep than we think._


	39. (TW) Multiple Times a Day

** TRIGGER WARNING **

_(Verbal) (1 - Slight)_

_Freya makes some harsh remarks at Iris for making a small mistake._

* * *

It had been a back-breaking day of yard work. Something I was strangely happy about because that meant it had lasted a long time. In fact, it was getting dark. I gathered up the gardening tools I had been using to help weed and also plant the vegetable garden. I found that seeds were a lot cheaper than buying the actual food, and with some help from magic, I could keep the garden year-round.

I had planted some new fruits and veggies this year. I had added some strawberries and raspberries near the mulberry tree in the fruit section and had planted some onions and butternut squash to add to the vegetable section. I had also added some lemongrass to the herb section.

In the complete list, I was growing carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, celery, lettuce, peas, cucumbers, basil, avocado, onions, garlic, cilantro, chives, parsley, mint, lemongrass, rosemary, thyme, butternut squash, black beans, beets, pumpkins, spinach, lentils, blueberries, mulberries, strawberries, raspberries, cantaloupe, watermelon, bananas, oranges, apples (honey crisp, golden delicious, and granny smith), peaches, lemons, limes, pineapple, and kiwi.

Most of these plants don't typically grow in London, nor the UK at all. However, with a spot of magic, it was no trouble.

All of this was planted in the greenhouse in the back. It used to be Mum's pride and joy, that garden. The greenhouse was always overflowing with food at all times of the year...

I tried to push these thoughts from my mind. I mustn't think about how things once were. You mourn shortly and move on with your life after that, that was my motto. No sense wasting your time with wishings and—and... the past. I shook my head as though to dislodge the thoughts from my mind. I stood up and dusted off my pants which were covered with dirt, and headed inside.

My mum was still on the couch, just where I had left her. I sighed and walked toward the kitchen to start dinner. I took out the small, tattered cookbook and flipped do somewhere in the slight middle. I had decided to make a chicken pot pie, to get rid of the rest of the chicken I had cooked yesterday and the gravy I had made for the potatoes a couple nights before.

I set to work, mixing and kneading the dough for the crust. Once done, I set it aside and began shopping up all the food that went inside. The carrots, the potatoes, the celery, the chicken. I put it all in a bowl and started to shell the peas. It was a slow business, but I soon got it done.

I wiped my hands off with a towel and pre-heated the oven.

I pulled out a pie pan from the cupboard and buttered it. I then rolled out half of the dough and placed it in the bottom, making sure it was flush against the sides. I dumped the vegetable/chicken mixture into it and poured the gravy over it all. I rolled out the rest of the dough and plopped it over the whole thing. I cut off the edges and made a cut pattern on the top in the shape of leaves.

I crimped the edges and waited for the oven to finish preheating.

I glanced through the doorway at my mother, who was watching me with judgemental eyes. I turned away quickly, still feeling her eyes on the back of my head. I almost wanted to shiver.

The oven beeped, signalling its readiness. I slipped the pan in and set a timer. I then walked to her bedroom, ignoring the looks from my mother and grabbed my day clothes from off her bed. I had changed out of them when I had gone gardening. I quietly slipped into the bathroom.

I showered.

I quickly changed back into my clothes and stepped out. The sound of the timer going off immediately pierced my ears. I raced to the kitchen and turned off the oven, opening it.

The tiniest lick of smoke was coming off the pie, but it didn't look bad. I sighed gratefully and pulled it out with some oven mitts.

It seemed that only a small portion of the bottom was burnt. Thankfully, all of it was still edible. This did not stop my mother's mutterings, however.

"Could've burnt down the house," she said, huffily, her sharp eyes burning into me. I took a deep breath but smiled at mother, inwardly cursing.

"But I didn't though," I said, brightly, serving up mother's plate.

"You can't do anything right, can you?" Freya said, quietly. Such a small, meaningless, stupid remark shouldn't have affected me as much as it did. But it did. I paused as I picked up a slice of pie and was about to set it on my own plate. My hand began to shake slightly as I tipped it over onto my plate.

Mother grinned malevolently down at her own plate as she took a bite.

"Doesn't taste very good either,"

I closed my eyes and began to breathe deeply, ignoring the fact that my hand was tightening around my fork in a way that almost looked dangerous.

"Not like how David used to make it—" mother muttered. My eyes snapped open. I almost slammed her fork down on my plate but restrained myself. I gave a shaking, hateful smile at her.

"I'm going to eat outside," I said, simply and grabbed my plate, and made sure to not slam the door behind me. Such an action might provoke my mother to do something worse than just talk.

I sat down and rested my head against the wall, taking very shaky breaths. The cement porch beneath me was cold. I shivered and curled my arms around myself, accidentally digging my head against the wall. I squeezed my eyelids as I felt my eyes becoming watery. I let out a shaky 'gah!' and opened my eyes. I watched the sun as it set, eating my food slowly and tastelessly.

I began to speak to myself.

"It's okay. It's okay... your job starts next week and you'll be able to stay away from her... it's okay..." I sighed again, resting my head against the wall once more. None of this was really a reassurance. I wanted to leave, to get out, to turn and never look my mother in the face again.

I swore under her breath a hundred times and started over again.

Just when I was succumbing to the fact that it was growing dark, I heard a flapping of wings. I looked up and spotted a black, feathered dot in the sky.

It soared, made a couple of circles as though verifying that it had the right address and swooped down, dropping a letter next to me, and perching on the railing beside me.

Not bothering to read the outside I tore it open, praying that it was from one of my friends and not another notification from the bank that I was running out of money.

_Hello Love,_ it started out. I laughed a watery laugh as I knew immediately who it was from. I wasn't even mad he called me love.

_Hello Love,_

_How are you? I haven't gotten any letters from you yet, but I suppose that's because you wanted me to make the first move. I respect that. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to come over sometime? I miss seeing your pretty face. What can I say? Two weeks does crazy things to a man in love._

_I know you're probably busy, I heard you got another job? You're going to work yourself raw. Seriously, you've got to slow down. Merlin, I'm not very good at writing letters..._

_I'm excited for next year. Sixth year. It sounds crazy, doesn't it? I can't wait to start on the first-day-of-school prank. It's going to be so much fun this year. You in? It involves water balloons... you know you can't resist. I also finished that book you recommended me. Wuthering Heights. It was very good, although strange. You really like this book?_

_Now that I'm done with it, I'm going to need another recommendation. I've talked with Remus a bit, he said that A Tale of Two Cities was pretty good. By Charles Dickens. Have you read it? It sounds pretty good, but you're going to have to convince me._

_I don't really know what else to say. I miss you._

_And if you need anything, I'm always here._

_Much love,_

_James Potter_

I sighed as I finished the letter, partially content, partially happily exasperated, and partially worried.

I didn't know how to tell him that I wouldn't be able to see him until school started in September.

"Alright, c'mon," I motioned for the bird to follow me somehow. He hopped and perched himself on my shoulder. I opened the door to the house. The lights were off. Mother must've gone to bed. I sighed as I glanced at the mess on the table. I'd pick it up later.

Realizing I was still a little hungry, I cut myself another slice and headed to my room. The letter and plate in my hand, and the owl on my shoulder.

I closed the door with my foot and flipped on the light. The owl soared off my shoulder and onto my bedpost. I grinned and sat down at my desk, carefully setting down the plate and letter and grabbing a piece of parchment and quill from the drawer.

_Dear James,_

_Please, stop calling me love. You know I don't approve. Anyway, sorry I haven't written you, I don't know if you knew this or not, but I don't own an owl, so I have to wait for someone to send me a letter first._

_I am glad you wrote to me, it's dreadfully boring here. Unfortunately, all the books I own, I've already read at least ten times each. So. You're accepting recommendations from Remus? Good idea, that's where I get mine. Yes, I have read A Tale of Two Cities. It's amazing, but be prepared for a bit of a hard read, it kind of long-winded. Totally worth it though._

_I'm excited for next year too. Merlin, I want summer to be over already, I want to get out of this blasted house. My mum is being insufferable. Sixth year does sound insane, doesn't it? We're going to be graduating next year. Insane._

_Yes, I'm in for the prank. Obviously. Who do you think I am? Water balloons sound interesting, you'll have to tell me more in your next letter._

_Yes, I have two jobs now, relax, they're easy jobs and I won't be worked too hard. I need the money, that's all._

_I don't know if I'll be able to visit though. My near schedule is pretty packed right now. I promise I'll tell you when I have time. Please keep writing me, though. I appreciate the letters._

_I'm doing fine, I don't really need anything right now, no need for concern. Some chocolate wouldn't go amiss though._

_Love,_

_Iris Brooks_

I looked over the letter for any spelling mistakes or anything. Finding none, I folded the letter. I had learned how to fold letters in a way that didn't require the actual envelope. This saved a lot of money, so I used it all the time. I deftly tied the letter to the bird's leg.

He jumped onto my forearm as I held it out.

"Care for some potatoes?" I offered it, taking a piece from my pie. He quickly took it and swallowed it in one bite. It clicked its beak in thanks and I walked out the door, back outside. "Goodbye," I whispered and it took off into the air, swooping off into the night.

I sighed and walked back into the house to clean up the table and to do the dishes. I did this quickly and headed for my room. I finished the pie that I had left on my desk and left the room to wash the plate and fork. I re-entered my room and changed into my pyjamas.

I switched off the light and placed my father's wand on her dresser. I curled up into my comforter and fell asleep.

An hour later, I was woken by a quiet tapping at my window. Opening one eye, I glanced over. Through the darkness, I could see the shape of an owl. I got out of bed and opened the window. The same bird as before hopped out and landed on my outstretched arm.

He had a small package tied onto his leg. I carefully untied it and opened the small box. Inside were at least five chocolate bars, a carefully wrapped plate of brownies and chocolate chip cookies, and a large tin of M&Ms. I remembered that they were James' favourite candy. Placed carefully on top was a rose.

I laughed, trying to keep myself from tearing up. I quickly rushed to the kitchen to grab a small mason jar and filled it with water. I hurried back to her room and placed the gorgeous flower in it, casting a muttered preserving spell on it.

There wasn't a letter, not even so much as a note, but I was okay with that. At the very bottom was a book. Fahrenheit 451. On the inside cover was a small note.

_To the girl who I fall in love with multiple times a day._

A small heart was doodled next to it. I smiled, exasperatedly.

"Merlin, I love him," I sighed, rolling my eyes.


	40. A Siren's Song

_(Ten years prior)_

_The family of three was seated at the dinner table. The now six-year-old Iris was eating her carrots enthusiastically because her father had told her they would give her the power to ignore Siren songs._

_"I'm going on an undercover mission in a couple weeks," David said slowly. Freya raised an eyebrow._

_"I thought you said they wouldn't be putting you on the big stuff until next year," She frowned. David smiled._

_"It's not big. It's basically routine. I'll be gone for a week—" Freya interrupted._

_"A week? That's so long," She looked concerned, and stopped eating, as though her brain couldn't process the act of lifting a fork whilst hearing this such jarring information._

_"I know, but it's basically routine, there's virtually no danger, and I won't be put back on a mission for at least a month after this."_

_"Are you going to be fighting bad guys?" Little Iris asked, happily envisioning her father in the place of a muggle superhero dad called Superman. Her father laughed._

_"Not this time. I mean, hopefully not. I'll leave the villain-fighters to the more trained. Like Mad-eye Moody. Don't tell me that's not a fantastic superhero name. He deserves it too. He's taken down more of You-know-who's followers than anyone else in the field." He raised his glass slightly and took a sip. Iris went back to eating her food._

_"Just a week," Freya verified. David nodded his head._

_"This'll probably be the longest I'll be gone. I'm only a level two auror, they're not going to be putting me in any dangerous situations just yet." He supplied. Freya bit her lip._

_"How many others are going on this mission?" Freya asked, finally picking at her carrots again._

_"Ten others. One of those is a director, so we're going to be completely prepared," David reassured._

_"May I ask what you're doing on this mission?" Freya asked. David hesitated._

_"I can't disclose everything, but it's basically a raid on something we have a hunch on. Again, very routine. Nothing dangerous." David said, smiling._

_"A raid? Like what the pirates did in last night's story?" Iris piped up._

_"Well, I wouldn't know, mummy read to you last night." David grinned at his daughter, her curious green eyes looking up at him trustingly._

_"Oh. Right," She ate a carrot. "Will you read to me again, mummy?"_

_"Of course, darling," Freya assured. She turned back to her husband. "How much are you being paid?" David grinned._

_"Twenty thousand[galleons](http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Wizarding_currency)," He said, casually, flickering a glance at his wife. She gaped, almost choking on her food. Her eyes bulged._

_"So much? I thought you said it was routine!" She gasped._

_"It is, but if our hunch turns out to be correct, then we might just be able to win the war," He said, almost shocked himself._

_"This plus what you've made so far... Honey. This is a lot of money." Freya exclaimed. "You could retire by the age of—"_

_"Thirty-five," David said, grinning. Freya sunk into her chair, her hand on her forehead._

_"That's so much money..." She said weakly._

_"I know, but think of what we could do with it! Think about how we could educate Iris! All the places we could travel... Iris would grow up in such a more diverse way. We've already immersed her in muggle culture as well as wizarding culture, think how much she could benefit!"_

_"This is insane," Freya said, closing her eyes._

_"Insane but worth it. I want Iris to grow up smart, and educated, and culturally sensitive. She could bridge the gap between muggles and wizards. You and I both know that the Statute of Secrecy just enhances wizards' prejudice. My family hates me for thinking this way, but we both know that's just because they're one of those stupid pure-blood families who think that anything relating to muggles is disgusting. I don't want Iris to grow up around that," David smiled caringly at his wife, and reached over the table to clasp her hand in his. She opened her eyes._

_"I don't either. I'm just—just worried that all this money... I don't know. I don't know! It's just a lot of money. It's frankly daunting," She smiled, weakly. David rubbed the back of her hand._

_"I know, but the only way it stays scary is if we use it badly, and we both know exactly what it's like to have money-obsessed families. Sure, yours are muggles, but it doesn't matter. We know how to raise Iris to be the opposite of that." David bit his lip but calmed down a little when Freya nodded slowly._

_"You're right. Of course, you're always right. It's just so... different," She smiled at her husband._

_"I know. But we have each other, that's all that matters." They smiled at each other, letting each other trust._

_"I'm finished, mummy. Can we read that bedtime story now?" Iris interrupted. Her parents glanced at each other and burst out laughing._

_"Of course, honey. Just let me finish my dinner. Put away your dish and then pick out a story, okay?" Freya smiled, at her daughter._

_"Okay, mummy!" Iris chirped, and quickly did away with her dish and ran to her bedroom as fast as her chubby little legs could manage. Both her parents smiled after her, adoringly._

_"I wonder which book she'll pick out tonight," Freya wondered aloud, raising an eyebrow and finishing her plate._

_"Probably one about Sirens," David winked. Freya laughed and picked up her plate, bringing it to the kitchen. She didn't notice David sneaking up behind her. She had just placed her dishes in the soapy water when David wrapped his arms around her._

_"Boo," He whispered. Freya shrieked a little louder than she intended. David laughed, letting go._

_"Ugh. Git." She threw a dish towel at him. He caught it, still laughing and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck._

_"But you still love me," He winked and leaned down to kiss her._

_"Unfortunately," Freya muttered, teasingly. David laughed, but Freya didn't wait for him to finish. They kissed._

_"Muuummy," Iris drawled from the doorway, having changed into her pyjamas and picked out a storybook. David and Freya broke apart. "What about my story?" She held it up for her mummy to see. It was indeed a tale about Sirens._

_"Sorry, my fault darling. I was keeping your mummy to myself." David kissed his wife again. It was Freya's turn to laugh. "I'll wash your dish, go read to the recalcitrant child," he told his wife, nodding to the annoyed child in the doorway. Freya laughed again, but took Iris' hand and followed her back to her room. David looked after them, adoringly._

_He started whistling to himself and began the unglamorous task of washing the dishes. He preferred the muggle way, unfortunately._


	41. (TW) Ink on a Page

TRIGGER WARNING

_(Verbal and Physical) (3)_

_Freya taunts her and kicks her. Induces heavy bruising and a broken nose. Healed by spells._

* * *

It had been less than a day but I had already received seventeen letters. It seemed James had told my friends that I didn't own an owl and that I was incredibly bored. I had a letter from Sirius, a rather long one from Remus, a much shorter one from Peter, one from Marlene, one from Lily, and one from Mary. To my surprise, I also had one each from Fabian and Gideon.

The other nine were from James. He was the only one who seemed to understand how absolutely, completely, utterly depressed I was to be back home. Every letter had a cute little doodle from him on the back.

 _'I didn't know you were so good at drawing,'_ I had teased in one letter.

 _'There's plenty of things you don't know about me,_ ' I could almost see his wink as he had written that. I had rolled my eyes and written back.

_'Tell me a few,'_

That was where we were right about now. We had taken up playing a game of two truths and a lie. It was rather fun. I had already won three points, but James was outshining me with five. The last things he had written were as follows;

_I despise butterscotch._

_Up until I was sorted into Gryffindor green was my favourite colour_

_My family's rich because my father invented a hair gel._

I had circled the green one. I had seen him eat butterscotch before and I had heard of Fleamont's hair gel. Everyone had. I had written my truths and lie. They were as follows;

_My middle name is Ingrid._

_I want to become a professor when I graduate._

_I've always wanted a pet cat._

I was awaiting his next letter. While I was waiting, I was reading Fahrenheit 451. It was incredibly intense, incredibly well-written, and extremely addicting. I was already on page 108, and there were 158 in the whole book. I needed to go to the library soon.

I heard a fluttering of wings and the owl, Parley, as I had learned, soared through my open window and landed on my bedpost. I scrambled up and untied the letter from his leg. I unrolled it and laid on my back, holding it above me to read it.

_Ah. I can't fool you. Green was my favourite colour when I was five through seven and then I heard about Gryffindor and it changed to red. My guess is that the cat one is the lie._

_My favourite kind of cookie is oatmeal raisin._

_I prefer pumpkin juice over butterbeer._

_Pancakes are my sworn enemy._

His doodle this time was of a black cat sleeping under a window. It was rather cute. I pinned it on the wall with his other doodles and the letters from my friends. The other doodles consisted of mushrooms, a box with a ribbon around it, a large stack of books, a quill and inkwell, a snitch, and slightly more detailed drawing of me. They were all very well done.

I giggled slightly as I realized he had guessed incorrectly.

_Hah! I got you. I don't have a middle name. My guess is the pancakes one._

_I hate cooking._

_I have a rather obsessive hobby of gardening._

_I can hold a handstand for over seven minutes._

I quickly folded the letter and tied it around Parley's leg. He hopped once and then soared out the window, in an eastward trajectory. I grabbed my book and continued reading. I had just finished another twenty pages when Parley had returned, a new letter on his leg.

I untied it and quickly read it.

_You won't have a middle name? Odd. How does Iris Brooks Potter sound? Or Iris Potter Brooks? Which do you prefer? Anyway, you're wrong! I prefer butterbeer. I don't like pancakes because one time Sirius slapped me with one and scarred me for life. I am rather fond of waffles though. My guess is the handstand one. There is absolutely no way that is possible._

_I can do the splits._

_I frequently wear makeup._

_I did ballet until I was thirteen._

The doodle this time depicted a stack of pancakes with a pat of butter and maple syrup dribbling down the sides. I pinned this one next to the others and set to work on my reply.

_I prefer Iris Brooks, thanks. And you're wrong. I_ can _do a handstand for over seven minutes. The cooking one is a lie. I love cooking. My guess is the makeup one. I've seen you wearing makeup, but you don't do it 'frequently'. Trying to be tricky, are you? One last letter and then I gotta go make dinner._

_My favourite food to make is scalloped potatoes._

_I prefer cold weather to hot weather._

_Rain is my_ _favourite_ _weather._

I folded this one and tied it onto Parley's leg and he set off once again. I finished the book before I got my reply. I just laid on my bed, waiting. A few moments later Parley soared in once again.

_Alas, you are right, my love. I wear makeup infrequently._ _My guess is the scalloped potatoes. I heard those are hard to make._

The doodle was of a mug with a teabag string handing out of it. Cute little curls of steam rose from the lip. I smiled as I saw he had guessed correctly.

_You're right. Scalloped potatoes are really annoying to make. They taste good though. Speaking of food, I gotta go now. Please write to me tomorrow._

I sent Parley on his way and waited for his reply. It came quicker than the others. It was very short but reassuring all the same.

_Don't worry, I will._

The doodle was of a desk with a scribbled note resting on it. Parley soared off through the window. I closed it behind him and sighed contentedly as I pinned it to the wall with the others. I glanced in the mirror, fussed with my hair a bit, and opened the door.

Mum stood just outside. She fixed her eyes on me. A stab of unadulterated dear shot through my chest. Her eyes weren't cloudy and uncaring as they normally were. Nor were they grey, They were clear and green and alive and angry. Today was not one of her good days.

"Hey mum," I tried to keep my voice from shaking. "I was just heading to bed—" I moved to close the door. She pressed her hand harshly against the wood.

"It was all your fault," She hissed. I backed away and braced myself for more hurtful words. "All your fault! Why did you tell him to be an auror?! He'd still be here if it weren't for you," She moved into the room, her eyes flaring and her fists clenched. I kept moving backwards until my back his the wall.

I was backed against the corner. I breathed, trying to remember the defence skills my coach had taught me, but they were getting all jumbled in my head. Avoid getting backed into a corner was one of them, I knew that. Too late now.

"Ungrateful! That's what you are!" She raised a fist and slammed it into the side of my head. This blow seemed to know the rationality into my head, I hardly noticed the pain.

If stuck in a corner, make yourself into the smallest target possible, protecting the most vulnerable parts of the body. I quickly sunk down, back to her, arms crossed over the back of my head. I crisscrossed my legs in front of my chest and ducked my head between my knees.

"You just had to tell him to go on that mission, didn't you?! You idiot! He's dead because of you!" She screamed these accusations at me. She started kicking me. Kicking my back and kneeing my fingers.

You'd think such a frail, sick, old woman wouldn't be able to do much damage.

You'd be wrong.

I tried covering my ears so I couldn't hear her screams and accusations. It didn't help. I did what the books always told me to do. Do your utmost to ignore the pain, both physically and emotionally. Calm your mind, erase everything around you. I began to recite song lyrics in my head, attempting to numb the pain of her words and her blows.

This only distracted me. She managed to grab my shoulder and twist me around, painfully. I let out a yelp as she dragged my arms from my face and slapped me. Hard. I shoved her away and covered my face again, this time facing her.

"You killed him! You're a murderer! You deserve this," How did she manage to voice my worse fears? My innermost dangerous thoughts? The ones you need to go to a therapist to help straighten out?

The salt from my tears and mucus did nothing to help me. Suddenly, her foot kicked out and managed to catch my chin and nose in one fell swoop, scooping away my elbows. I almost blacked out. Don't fight back, my thoughts yearned me. Partially because I knew she'd get more aggressive. Partially because, deep, deep down, I knew I deserved it.

This went on.

On and on and on and on it went. Was she getting stronger with each blow, or was I growing weaker? She managed to get another knee to my head and I faded out for a moment. When I came to, I was laying on my side, my body still in the taut, protective ball. Every part of me was sore. I sat up, ignoring the sting from my sanded knuckles. She must've pulled me over by my hair because my scalp felt like it was on fire.

I sat up, ignoring the mixture of tears and blood in my eyes. She stood there, motionless. Her eyes were once again clouded over. They were back to their dull, stupid grey. I tried to ignore the hate in my mind as I stared up at her.

"It's time for bed, mum," I said, weakly. She stood there for a moment longer, but turned around and waddled out the door. I breathed heavily as I carefully eyed the open door. Only darkness lay beyond it.

I sat up, grimacing, trying to ignore the layers of bruises on my back. Bruises upon bruises upon bruises. I could tell. As I sat up, a sharp little crack rang out from my ribs. It wasn't stabbingly painful, so I knew it wasn't broken, it was just stiff.

I crawled to my bottom dresser drawer, where I hid dad's wand so mum could get ahold of it a wreak more damage. I kicked the door and it clicked shut. I dragged out the drawer and grabbed the wand. I shut it and crawled to my bed. Screwing up my face, I tucked my legs beneath me and stood. Slowly.

I had to use the bedpost for support. My legs were off badly after all of her kicks from the front. I had no strength left for laying down carefully. I fell upon the bed, ignoring the extra shot of pain that raced through me. I lifted my wand, and resting the tip on my chest I began to recite the memorized pattern of spells. The rhythm of which now soothed me.

"Episky, anapneo, backium emendo, ferula, tergeo, vulnera sanentur..." I murmured this last one five times before ending with one more tergeo.

Slowly but surely, my body seemed to rise. The pain slowly ebbed away until it was a slight throb. Any cuts or places where I had bled were gone. The only thing left on my body were minor bruises which had started out much worse. Plus the accompanying stiffness.

I slowly sat up, easing my body into motion again. I wondered if I out to take a sip of the rejuvenating potion in the bathroom, but decided against it. If I was still feeling this sore in the morning, I'd take some, but not right before bed.

I slowly stood up and put away dad's wand again. Slowly still, I changed into my pyjamas.

To help my hurting emotions, I snapped off a piece of chocolate from one of the bars James had sent me and laid down on my bed, curling up in the covers, sucking on it.

I began to cry. I often found that even if I was too tired to cry, crying often helped with the healing process. It also helped numb the pain before sleeping. So I cried until the chocolate was melted.

I thought about the ham I had been planning to make tonight.

I wasn't hungry anymore.


	42. Routine

_(Ten years prior)_

_A little Iris woke up in her bed. She heard murmurings coming from outside her door. She tipped out of her bed and toddled over to the door and opened it a crack. The whispering voices were coming from the living room. She peeked her head out and deciding it was worth investigation, she stepped out and made her way to the living room. She stopped just outside the door and leaned her head through the door frame._

_She saw a lot of tall adults in black cloaks. Their hoods were over their faces so she could only see their chins. Her father was wearing a cloak as well, but his hood was down. He was standing in front of her mum. She was looking down, her arms folded. He had his hands on her shoulder, whispering comfortingly to her._

_"Mummy? Daddy?" Iris' voice spoke softly. Everyone turned to her. The cloaked people were making her uneasy and nervous._

_"Oh, darling, go back to sleep," her mother spoke swiftly, rushing over to her and picking her up._

_"Who are all these people, mummy?" Iris asked, surveying the room and the unseen faces._

_"They're my co-workers darling. I'm going away for a little bit, remember?" He dad came up and held her little hand._

_"Yes, I told you at dinner, darling." Her mother smiled sadly. Iris frowned._

_"Oh. I forgot." She stuck out her bottom lip, contemplating._

_"We really must be going, Brooks," A hooded man said, in a deep, serious voice. Freya adjusted Iris on her hip._

_"How long do you think you'll be away?" She asked the man. He turned to her._

_"Less than a week, most likely ma'am," He said in a respectful tone. He knew that she must be a little distraught. It's just how it was with these things._

_"And there's absolutely no danger?" She asked, trying to hide the faint tremble in her voice. The man paused._

_"I wouldn't say none, ma'am, but this is a very routine mission. Everyone here is trained and prepared." He nodded reassuringly. "We_ really _need to be going, David." He turned to him. David pursed his lips and turned to his wife._

_"I'll be back before you know it," He kissed her. Freya kissed back, trying to convey how much she needed him. They broke apart._

_"Be safe," She whispered, looking at the floor._

_"I will," He replied, softly._

_"Bye, daddy!" Iris said, still confused but nevertheless excited._

_"Bye darling," He said, smiling. He turned and pulled the cloak over his head. The man from before nodded and motioned for them all to step outside. The cloaked ten-ish people stepped out the door. Freya followed, leaning against the doorframe and adjusted Iris on her hip._

_One by one, the figures apparated away. It was hard to tell which one was David, but Freya had a gut feeling it had been the second-to-last figure to apparate. The last figure nodded to Freya and apparated away, leaving her worried and clutching her daughter. She gave an odd hiccupping noise._

_"Time to go back to bed, darling. It's late." She smiled at her and closed the door, stepping back into the house._

_"Okay," said little Iris, yawning. She was quickly re-tucked into bed._

_"Good night," Her mum said, closing the door. Iris was already asleep and did not reply._

_A week had passed and Freya was growing worried. She tried to hide it though. Every time Iris asked when he was coming back she'd turn away and say soon, ignoring the blooming fear in her heart and pulse._

_Routine, she kept repeating her head. Routine, routine, routine. She had never been this worried before, but she could feel the wrongness in her chest. Something was wrong, and she knew it. Routine, she kept repeating. It was her only solace, only reassurance. Iris, of course, was bright and happy as usual, so her mother used that as a distraction. They went to the park. They baked cookies together. They watched movies together. Played board games. Anything to distract the both of them. It was mostly for Freya's sake. She had no one to confide her worries too, so she sat up at night worrying, biting her nails._

_"Routine, routine, routine, routine," she'd repeat. She had only cried once so far._

_It was the middle of the second week when a knock came to her door. With her heart in her throat, she answered it. Two ministry officials were at her door. They had a little black box and a wand. David's wand. They handed her the little black box. She opened it. A medallion._

_"...Ma'am. We regret to inform you..." It took all her willpower not to slap them in the face, to keep her cool, to keep her head down and not let her sobs out of her chest._

_"Mummy? Who's at the door?" Iris asked, peeking out from the hallway. Freya swallowed._

_"Just a moment darling. Please go to your room."_

_"But mummy—"_

_"_ Now _, please, Iris." She said, choking on her words. The little girls heeded her words but did so confusedly._

_"...very unexpected. The entire team was killed. Unfortunately, we cannot reveal more, all of this is very top secret. If you want more information you'll need to contact the Auror head office. We are very sorry," the man said. He sounded very sympathetic, not in the cold, hard way ministry officials often were. They had known each other._

_"What—" Freya steeled herself, gathered up her courage and stood straighter. Business. "What about the body?"_

_"Ah... The bodies could not be recovered. Again, if you want more details—"_

_"Thank you," Freya said, quietly, shutting the door. She had felt her newly found courage shatter and did not want to burst out into tears in front of the men. She sunk down against the door, allowing her sobs overtake her. She clutched the box in her hands, letting the wand clatter to the ground. Her fingers and knuckles grew white._

_She didn't care._

_A few minutes passed as Freya slowly picked herself off the floor. She stepped to Iris' room and slowly opened the door. She was curled up, fast asleep on her bed, still in her clothes. Freya sighed. She didn't have the resolve to change her. Or to tell her anything just yet._

_She quietly shut the door and set the medallion and the wand on her dresser. She kicked off her shoes and in a surge of heated anger, threw them into her closet as hard as she could. She clenched her fists into balls, allowing them to grow white again. She slowly released the pressure and numbly pulled her clothes off and put on her pyjamas._

_Only when her head was against her pillow did she allow herself to cry again. It was a long while before she fell asleep, but before she did she felt a surge of righteous anger pervade her chest. She was going to the ministry tomorrow._


	43. A Little Bit of Heaven

I didn't feel like getting up this morning. My body still ached and it just wasn't a 'get up and do things' kind of day. I ignored the nagging in my brain that if I didn't do something I'd go insane, and buried myself under the covers even more, blocking the sunlight from hitting my closed eyelids.

I only sat up when I heard an all too familiar tapping noise coming from my window. I sat up and blinked, rubbing my eyes. Of course, I had to be woken by Parley, the Potters' owl. I got up and opened the window, letting him hop inside. He flew over to my bed and perched on the end of it as usual. I didn't bother to shut the window, but walked over and gently lifted his wing to pull the letter from his leg.

_My dearest Iris,_

_I have gotten the feeling that today is not a good one, as you still have not replied to my last letter. That is why I have resolved to come over and brighten up your day._

I didn't manage to finish the letter before my hand was over my mouth and I was panicking.

"No. No, no, no, no, no. He can't see me like this, he can't see my mum," I moaned, running my fingers through my hands fiercely as I scrambled around for a quill. My hands were shaking too much. "He can't see anything..." I was almost on the verge of tears. He could never see. Never.

I grabbed his letter again, frantically running through it.

_I don't know your address, and I was rather hoping to floo there if that would be convenient. I debated inviting the others marauders if you would like. Tell me in your reply letter._

I breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't know my address. Thank Merlin. I breathed for a moment, collecting my thoughts and calmly grabbed a fresh sheet of parchment and began to pen my reply.

_That would be great, except that my mum is having a get together with a bunch of her muggle friends. I'm afraid you can't come here, but I'd be able to go to your house if that's okay._

I hastily signed it and tied it to Parley's leg. He took off and swooped out the window. I began to get ready. James could _not_ see me like this. I grabbed a white and blue striped button down and some high waisted jeans and ran for the bathroom, grabbing my makeup bag on the way out.

I stood in front of the mirror, surveying the damage. Everything had healed pretty well due to my quick spellwork, but there were still bruises, particularly my nose. I grimaced and opened the cabinet behind me. I pushed around several bottles before finding what I was looking for. A revitalizing potion.

I didn't even bother to measure it but pulled out the cork and I took a large swig. It was bittersweet, but sour after I had swallowed it. I quickly stripped and showered, enjoying the soothing feeling the hot water had on my scratched and bruises. I still felt a little stiff.

Five minutes later and I stepped out of the shower. I looked in the mirror. The bruises had faded considerably from the potion, but I knew I'd still need some makeup to hide all of it.

I quickly blow-dried my hair and put on my clothes, tucking the button down. Realizing that James was probably going to write back, I grabbed my makeup bag and returned to my room. I stood in front of the mirror atop my dressed and began to carefully apply makeup.

I knew I was applying more makeup than I normally would, so I tried to make it subtle so as not to give James the wrong idea about what this was. It was just two friends hanging out, nothing more. I grabbed my foundation and dabbed it on. I was relieved to see that a light coat was enough to cover the rest of my bruises. I also knew that the potion was still making its way through my body, so my bruises would be almost gone in an hour. The stiffness would stay, however.

I quickly applied the rest of my makeup, just in time for Parley to soar in with James' reply. I unfurled the letter.

_Works for me. You can come over whenever you like._

I couldn't help it but grin as I put on my shoes, shooed Parley out the window, and stepped out the door. I grabbed my wand before shutting it. Mum wasn't sitting in the living room today, but I didn't care. She was still in her bedroom, probably staring at the ceiling. She could make her own food and I sure wasn't about to look her in the face.

I grabbed a very, very small handful of floo powder (It was very expensive stuff) and threw it into the empty fireplace. At once a lime green fire sprung up, crackling and hissing menacingly, It didn't faze me. I stepped into the flame and said clearly;

"The Potter's manor," I was immediately swept up and into the chimney, spinning and buffeted. I shut my eyes tightly, so as to avoid getting soot in my eyes. In a matter of seconds, I could feel myself slowing down and I stuck out my foot. Immediately I lurched forward and I stumbled through a different fireplace.

I almost tripped on the rug, but a pair of strong arms caught me and kept me upright.

"Thanks," I laughed, looking up into the face of James Potter who burst out into a smile.

"No problem. Everyone always trips on that rug," We both laughed. I raised an eyebrow.

"Are you going to let go?" I asked, tilting my head. His arms were still around me.

"I didn't really want too," He said, smirking and pressing me closer to his chest. I rolled my eyes and pushed him away. He grinned and put his hands in his pockets.

"Thanks for inviting me, you have no idea how bored I've been for the last three weeks," I said, sighing.

"No problem," He said. He was about to say something when someone else stepped into the room.

"Iris, dear! How are you, darling?" James' mum came over and wrapped me in a big hug.

"I'm doing well, thank you," I grinned at her.

"Good to hear, good to hear. Are you hungry? James was just about to make pancakes, but if you've already eaten..." I saw her give James the elbow when he opened his mouth confusedly, probably to tell her that no, he had not been about to make pancakes. I lifted an eyebrow.

"Actually, I haven't had breakfast yet, so some pancakes would be welcome," I smiled. She clapped her hands.

"Perfect! You two do that, Fleamont and I were about to leave for town. I have a few errands I need to run. Have fun and be responsible," She waggled her finger at James who just sighed.

"Yes mum," He said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Goodbye," She waved. I gave her a tentative wave back and she left the room, not without winking at James first.

"To the kitchen!" James announced, pointing his finger in the air and grabbing my hand. We ran to the kitchen and James gallantly pulled out a stool for me at the counter. He grabbed an apron and deftly tied it around his waist, gathering the ingredients for pancakes. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows.

Damn, he looked hot. I tried to avoid thinking about that too much.

"You told me you hate pancakes," I ridiculed him as he pulled out a large bowl and set it on the counter.

"I do," he sighed. "Unluckily for me, I happen to be the world's best pancake maker, which is miserably ironic." He sighed dramatically holding a hand to his chest. I laughed.

"Well, maybe you haven't tried the right pancakes just yet. Have you ever tried pumpkin chocolate chip pancakes?" I asked, stepping off my stool and stepping around the counter to join him.

"No, I haven't," He smiled at me. I smirked back.

"Let me introduce you to a little bit of heaven. Where were your aprons?" I asked. He pointed to a drawer. I quickly pulled one out and tied it around my waist. I tried to ignore his look of admiration as I grabbed the few ingredients on the counter. "We're going to need flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, chocolate chips, pumpkin puree, brown sugar, one egg, vegetable oil, and milk. Whole milk preferably. Do you have all that?" I asked, enjoying the look of his scrambling around looking for all the ingredients.

"I think so," He managed to say, before dumping everything onto the counter, rather ungracefully. I laughed and he grinned.

"Alright, let's get to it, shall we?"

A complicated mess and many pancake batter spills later, and we were in business. James insisted on doing the flipping as I had done most of the mixing. He was really good at it too, making several flamboyant pancake flips. He didn't even bother using a spatula, he flipped them just with the pan, sometimes doing multiple pancakes at once.

He had just finished with another set and I was scooping out the batter for the next couple when he came up behind me.

"Your apron's untied," He mentioned.

"Oh, whoops. Gimme a sec—" I said, hastily dumping the last bit of batter onto the pan.

"No, it's fine, I've got it," He said and grabbed the ties and carefully tied it for me. I tried to ignore the tingling feeling I got when he accidentally brushed against my back. He finished and I turned around to face him. He was much closer than I had realized and he was looking at me in the way that he did. The way that made my pulse race.

As we gazed at each other, my heart and my mind made a startling comparison.

I was lying to myself and I knew it. Somehow, every second I spent with this boy, another bit of my resolve cracked.

He had either hand beside me, pinning me to the counter behind me. He wasn't making any more moves however, which relieved me. That way he looked at me, so intently, so caringly, so... admiringly, practically made me want to faint. No one I had ever met ever looked at me like that. No one.

I couldn't handle the tension. I looked down.

"The pancakes are burning," his eyes left me and looked over at the pan, allowing me to gently break away as he carefully flipped them. It gave me enough time to regulate my pulse again and cool my cheeks. I was sure he had noticed my blushing.

"They're done. I'm ready to taste 'a little bit of heaven' as you called them," James grinned. I laughed.

"So am I."

We took off our aprons and he quickly pulled out plates. We grabbed three each and began to eat. James' eye lit up when he took his first bite.

"So, maybe not all pancakes are terrible," He said, grinning.

"I'm glad to hear that. These are the best pancakes in the world," I bragged. We both laughed again and quickly finished off all the pancakes.

"What do you want to do now?" James asked me, and he grabbed our plates and put them in the sink.

"I dunno. Anything really," I said, shrugging.

"You know what? This won't keep us occupied for long, but I still can't believe you can hold a handstand for seven minutes." I smirked.

"Is that a challenge?" I asked eyebrow raised. James laughed.

"Yes, I suppose it is,"

We both raced to his bedroom.

"Ha! I win!" James announced, triumphantly.

"Just wait. You won't be winner for long," I teased. "Ready? I asked as we stood opposite each other.

"Ready," He replied, winking.

"One... Two... Three," I said, and flipped up into a handstand. Opposite me, James did the same. We both laughed as we saw each other with the room upside down around us. We began to trash talk each other, but soon James' arms were shaking. I laughed.

"Already tired? Wow, I thought you'd at least be better than this," I smirked.

"I'm not done yet," he teased. As we continued the trash talk, James' face slowly began to grow ruddier. Redder. Until finally, he fell, almost kicking me in the face.

"Oi! Watch it!" I yelled.

"Sorry," he panted. "Are you going to keep doing that?"

"Well, you said seven minutes," I said, attempting an upside down shrug and failing. Three more minutes passed as James kept trash talking me. Eventually, he resorted to funny faces. That didn't work. He stood, thoroughly put out at my laughing at his attempts. He seemed to get an idea and stood, grinning malevolently.

"What are you doing?" I asked, as he walked over and stood beside me. "Seriously, what are you—" I didn't get to finish my sentence. James, the absolute imbecile, began tickling the bottom of my feet. I gasped. "James. James _stop_ ,"

I began laughing. Uncontrollably of course. I managed to stay up for a couple seconds more and then I fell over, hitting the ground with a 'thump'. I groaned.

"Jerk," I mumbled into the carpet. James just laughed and laughed. I rolled over onto my back. "Stop. Merlin, stop."

He kept laughing.

"Well, see how you like it!" I shrieked and attacked his stomach. He managed a gasp of air as I began tickling him. To my astonishment, he grinned at me.

"Ah, ah, ah," He said, waggling a finger in my face. "I'm not ticklish." I opened my mouth in shock.

"You've got to be kidding—" He wrapped his arms around me and swing me up and onto his bed. He began to tickle my stomach this time. I tried to shove away his hands but he kept at it. He was practically on top of me now, pinning me down so I couldn't escape.

"Please. Please!" I laughed, choking on air. "Stop! James, stop!"

He didn't stop until I managed to grab ahold of his wrists.

"Stop," I moaned, finally catching my breath. He grinned at me. I'm sure my face was red beyond belief. He was kneeling over me at this point and I'm sure from a different perspective our position looked rather... suggestive to say the least. "Merlin, stop or I'm going to be forced to kill you." I gasped for breath. He grinned down at me.

"Bold words coming from the person pinned beneath me," He snickered.

I was about to give him a rather biting retort when a loud tapping came from his window. We both looked up. There sat a regal looking owl.

"Hm," Was all that James said, as he got off me and walked over to the window. I sat up and watched as he opened the window. The bird squawked and looked around the room. It flew over to me and landed on my shoulder. I carefully untied the letter from its leg and James laid down to my left, arms behind his head.

I began to read.

_Dear Miss Iris Brooks,_

_this is a reminder to you that your job as Junior Assistant for the Minister of Magic starts today in exactly one hour—_

I swore. Very, very loudly. At my outburst, the owl hooted, annoyed and flew off. James sat up.

"What is it?" he asked, as I stood and began pacing.

"I totally forgot," I muttered.

"Iris? Earth to Iris? What is it?" James placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I totally forgot. My second job starts today," I said, frantically.

"You have two jobs?" James asked, surprised.

"Yes! Some of us don't have rich parents, James," I hissed. I regretted it as soon as I saw James' face. "Sorry. I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm just really—"

"Stressed, I get it. I take it you didn't exactly dress for this and you're worried because you can't floo home because of your mum's party?" He said, a hundred time more calmly than I was at that moment.

"Yeah..." I lied easily. Of course, my mum wasn't having a party. "I can't very well show up like this to the minister of magic," I said, gesturing at my clothes. They were nice, but not 'first day working for the most important person in the ministry' nice.

James' eyes went wide.

"You're working for the minister for magic, Harold Minchum?" James asked, aghast.

"As junior assistant, yes," I said, frantically.

"How'd you get that job?" James asked, impressed.

"He and my father used to be friends before he died," I waved around my hand.

"Oh," James said. "Maybe—" Just then the front door opened and closed. "Perfect. I'll bet my mum can help. Oi, mum!" James shouted, taking off down the stairs. I followed him, just as quickly. I almost tripped on the bottom stair, where James was explaining everything to Mrs Potter.

"Ah, I see. Darling, I'm sure I have some clothes you can borrow, come with me," she said, with a smile. She led me back upstairs to her room. "Let's have a look-see. Are you okay with wearing a blazer?"

Fifteen minutes later, I felt ready. I had changed out of my jeans into a grey pencil skirt and had put a red sweater over top my blue striped button up. I had put on some pantyhose as well. Mrs Potter had also lent me a black blazer and some red heels the same colour as the sweater.

I had also pulled my hair into a messy bun atop my head and placed a quill into it per usual. I had touched up my makeup as well.

"You look amazing. You'll make quite the first impression," Mrs Potter assured me as she led me downstairs. "Fleamont can apparate you as well. Unless you'd rather floo there," she said.

"I'd rather apparate. I don't want to risk getting soot on my clothes," I smiled. Mr Potter held out his arm and I grabbed it. "Thanks for having me over," I told James, who was looking at me in an impressed way. He kept trailing his eyes up and down my clothes in a distracted way.

"No problem," he managed to get out. Was he blushing? I didn't get a good look before Mr Potter apparated away. We arrived in the atrium of the Ministry.

"You think you can make it from here?" He asked eyebrow raised.

"Ah. Yes. Yes, I think so," I said, nervously. He put a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry you'll be fine," He reassured me. He apparated away, leaving me in the very crowded atrium. I made my way to the front desk. The woman working there looked up.

"Ah, hello," I said. "I'm the new junior assistant for the minister. It's my first day..." I trailed off, lamely. I eyed the wand-weighing machine next to her. _Please don't let her ask for my wand, please, please, please._ If they weighed it, my father's wand would forever be registered to me and I'd never be able to do magic during the summer again.

"Oh, yes. He's been expecting you. Do you know where to go?" She asked, not altogether unkindly.

"No. No, I don't," I said, sheepishly.

"Not to worry. Just go through that lift just there and go to level one, top floor. You'll find him soon enough," She said, with a smile.

"Thank you," I said, smiling back. I quickly got in the line for the lift. It went quickly, and soon I was pressed into the lift with five other much older workers. I began to get slightly self-conscious as I realized I was the only one not wearing a robe. Was I supposed to be wearing one? But surely the nice receptionist would've told me that...

Soon the lift emptied until I was the last one.

"Level one, Minister for Magic and Support Staff," A voice echoed in the lift. The doors opened and revealed a very quiet floor. I quickly stepped out and the lift doors shut behind me. I stepped forward, uncertainly.

"You must be the new Junior Assistant," A squeaky voice came from my left. I turned and saw a very mousy looking women with ludicrously pointed cat-eye spectacles.

"Yes, yes I am," I said, quickly. She held out a bunch of red cloth.

"Here are your robes. Every station in the Ministry has colour coordinated robes, and Level One is red. You can order more if you need to, but just put these on for now and I'll lead you to his office. Do you have a quill and parchment?" She said this all very quickly,

"No," I said, pulling on the robes. They were very nice, and luckily for me, looked like they matched with the sweater I was wearing.

"That's alright, I'm sure he'll give you some." She led me to a large door, the words 'Minister for Magic' emblazoned on a brass plaque. She knocked.

"Come in," came a muffled voice.

"Go on," She urged me opening the door. I stepped through and she closed it behind me. Sitting at the desk was a hunched black-haired man. He wore deep red robes as well and was looking through several papers, surveying them critically as he looked through a pair of chipped reading glasses.

The room was full of knick-knacks. Several toy aeroplanes hung from the ceiling, a poncho hung on the wall, drawings done in watercolour papered the walls. He had several large bookcases, most dedicated to leather-bound books, but several were full of glass jars with butterflies and dragonflies. Some had pinecones and very pretty leaves of varying colours. A bowling ball painted to look like the globe was glued to a large brick of granite with the word 'winner' inscribed in it. Certificates hung on the wall, degrees from a muggle college. Best of all was a chocolate frog card framed and hung on the wall of himself.

Harold Mitchum looked up, taking me in with his shockingly blue eyes. He grinned a wide smile and stood from his creaky chair, arms splayed open in greeting.

"Iris! A pleasure to see you again, my dear. How are you?"


	44. A Very Important Cork Wall

_(Ten years prior)_

_"Mummy, where are we going?" The Six-year-old Iris asked as Freya led her through the busy streets of London._

_"To the ministry, darling, I told you this at breakfast." Freya was desperately trying not to think about why she was going to the ministry, which was why her stomach dropped just a little bit more when Iris spoke up again._

_"Why, mummy?" She asked it so curiously. Freya swallowed._

_"We're going to be talking to some of daddy's friends there," Freya said as brightly as she could manage._

_"Oh," Was all that Iris said. Now Iris, being six and very intelligent, knew the meaning of death. She had fully grasped the concept of object permanence at this point in her life, but she didn't understand why daddy's body would not be returning to them. She had been to a funeral before when she was four. Four being one of the more curious ages, she had asked many, many questions of which her parents answered dutifully._

_She knew her father was dead. She was sad about it, but she knew that mummy could make things right. All she wanted was a proper goodbye. A proper goodbye and then a good cry. Probably for a long while._

_Iris being as stubborn as she was, was not permitting herself to cry until she saw the body. She didn't want any unnecessary tears if the ministry had made any mistakes. Such an idea made sense to the young Iris, so she stuck with this mentality. Indeed, she stuck with this mentality up into her adult years. It was a trait many people admired._

_But now is not the time to speak of the future. This is her past._

_Freya and Iris soon arrived at a red phone booth. Freya hastily pulled Iris inside and dialled the number 62442. A quiet whirring was heard. A crackle came from the receiver Freya was holding and then a voice came._

_"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business."_

_Freya spoke briskly._

_"Freya Brooks and her daughter, Iris Brooks, come to speak to the Head of the Auror Office," She said. A moment passed as the woman in the receiver seemed to process this._

_"Thank you." Two badges with their names and 'visiting Head of Auror Office' inscribed on their faces tumbled into the returned coins slot. They were square and silver. "You are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium. Have a nice day." As the woman said this, the inside of the red telephone box began to sink down into the ground._

_It was an odd sensation, they both soon realized, watching the ground move over your head. Iris laughed at the strange sensation it gave her stomach._

_A few seconds later, and soon the strange lift deposited them inside what Freya decided was the Atrium. Ignoring the hustle and bustle of the place, Freya quickly grabbed Iris's hand, having already pinned the badges onto both of their chests. and led her daughter to what had to be the security desk as it was the only desk in the vicinity._

_"Hello," said the young man at the desk. "Here for a security check-in, I suppose?"_

_"Yes," Freya said, crisply._

_"Wand, please?" He asked, brightly. Freya handed him it and he carefully placed it on a weighing tray. The tray whirred for a moment and then very quickly a very long receipt popped out of the bottom. "Dragon heartstring, Cherrywood, twelve and quarter inches, firm. Correct?" He asked, reading from the slip of paper._

_"Correct," Freya nodded, curtly. The young man grinned happily._

_"Well, everything seems to be in order. Unless you're foreign and she has one too," he said, nodding at Iris who made a silly face at him. He laughed._

_"No," Freya assured him._

_"Then everything seems to be in order. Have a nice day!" He said as the pair departed from the desk. Freya led Iris toward the rattling metal lift next to the desk. They waited in line for a minute or so and stepped in. Freya allowed Iris to click the button for the floor they would be going to. Level 2. Iris listened as the voice lady recited the level directory._

_"Basement Level 1 - Minister for Magic and Support Staff, Basement Level 2 - Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Basement Level 3 - Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, Basement Level 4 - Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, Basement Level 5 - Department of International Magical Cooperation, Basement Level 6 - Department of Magical Transport, Basement Level 7 - Department of Magical Games and Sports, Basement Level 8 - The Atrium, Basement Level 9 - Department of Mysteries, Basement Level 10 - Courtrooms (stairway access only). A reminder that all of these floors_ _are_ _underground, so the higher the level number is, the further down you go."_

_She began to repeat this mantra just as the two arrived on their floor. Level 2, Department of magical Low enforcement. They were headed to the Auror offices._

_Freya grabbed Iris' hand again and lead her to the right corner of the room when a brass sign hung above a doorway that said in clear, crisp lettering, 'Auror Offices'. Freya quickly located the Head Auror office. It had another brass sign on the door in the same crisp lettering. This time, it said 'Head Auror' and below that in smaller lettering, it said 'Lupita Mondragón-Flores'. Freya swallowed, looking down at her daughter._

_It was true. She hadn't really thought about what to do with Iris while she talked to the head of the auror office, all she knew was that she couldn't have left her home alone and that she didn't want her to be in the same room as she deliberated with the head. She bit her lip and crouched down in front of her daughter._

_"Can you wait here for a moment, darling? Mummy has to go talk to Mrs Flores and you need to wait out here." Iris has long learned not to question her mother's reasons for things._

_"How long will you be in there?" She asked. Freya sighed._

_"I don't know, but I'll buy you an ice cream after all this, okay?" Freya brushed a strand of hair from her daughter's face._

_"Okay," Iris said. Freya stood upright, gave her daughter's hand and squeeze and knocked on the door._

_"Come in," came a muffled voice. Freya took a deep breath and stepped inside, swiftly closing the door behind her. Several minutes swung past and Iris soon became bored. At first, she had tried to play a game with herself by quickly hopping from one foot to another to occupy herself, but she quickly grew sick of that._

_Ignoring her mother's wants, she began to wander a little bit. Not far, and certainly not into that room where everyone was working at desks. They looked like they were doing very important things and didn't want to be bothered by a six-year-old. She wandered just a bit more until she found a slightly secluded area with an entire wall or cork dedicated to holding newspaper clippings and pictures and strings of yard pointing at things in loops._

_It looked like a very important cork board. As a plus, it looked very interesting. Interesting enough to keep the curious minded Iris content with standing in front of it, surveying the faces._

_There was a very scary many with an eye patch over one eye and a scar on his cheek. His picture moved just like all of the other pictures, but his moved tiredly and sadly, not like the rest who were all screaming or something. There was a woman with electric blue hair, whose face and body kept changing and as Iris watched, her hair slowly turned purple and then green._

_She tiptoed to the other end of the cork board where there were more faces. The one that stuck out to Iris, however, was a silver-haired man, with wrinkles and scars all over his face. He had to be at least eighty. He was staring straight at the camera. Iris stared at it for slightly too long. A shiver ran down her spine._

_"Now, who are you?" A voice came from the end of the hallway. A tall, black-haired man stood at the end, holding a coffee cup with the other hand in his pocket. Iris tilted her head curiously as he came closer._

_"Iris Brooks," She said, formally, just as she had always heard he parents say to strangers when they wanted to be polite. The man paused._

_"Ah. You're David's girl, aren't you?" He asked, sipping his coffee. Iris nodded. "That's what I thought. So that must be your mother chewing out the head of office?"_

_"I guess so," Iris said, shrugging. The man hummed. "What's your name?" Iris asked. He raised an eyebrow._

_"Harold Minchum. How do you do?" He asked, holding out a rather large hand in her direction. She shook it, giggling. He smiled, his eyes twinkling._

_"You're the man who came to the doorstep yesterday," Iris said. It was more of a statement than a question._

_"Yes," he said, grimly. "I'm sorry about your father. I knew him. Great man. One of the most honest, hardworking, interesting, intelligent men I had ever had the pleasure to work with." He turned and wiped away a tear that had managed to leak out of the corner of his eyes. Iris didn't comment on this, like the tactful little six-year-old she was. "Anyway, what are you looking at?"_

_Iris pointed at the picture of the grey-haired man who was still staring at her. Harold Minchum nodded and sipped his coffee again._

_"Ah, Anthony Rivera. Do you want to know why we're looking for him?" He asked. Iris nodded, excitedly. "He used the unforgivable curse against three people. Certified insane. He's on the run, but we're hoping to catch him somewhere near Washing D.C. in the U.S. He was talking about assassinating the president there or something. At least, that's what the witnesses said."_

_"Wicked," Iris muttered, causing Harold Minchum to choke on his coffee. "Are you okay?" She asked. He finally cleared his throat._

_"Yeah. I'm fine," He laughed. "You want to know about the rest of these people?" He asked. Iris enthusiastically agreed._

_Half an hour later, Iris knew the names of all the ministry's most wanted including the faces she had seen before. The hair-changing lady was a psychotic metamorphagus who had impersonated multiple different people and murdered at least eleven people at the last count. She had been on the run for three years now._

_The eyepatch guy had been on the run for about a month now but was incredibly dangerous because he had managed to create a spell that could replicate money and make it valid. Technically, they weren't counterfeit, but he was committing fraud and if he let out the spell, and economic crisis was sure to happen._

_There were plenty of others. A man who had killed someone and cut up their body and served it at a restaurant, a woman who had managed to sneak into a potions company and poison at least twenty vials, a man who had been flying over various muggle places and had been dropping strange magical bombs that transfigured everyone who the blast touched. Needless to say, he had caused the magical catastrophe department and the obliviation crew plenty of paperwork. There were many, many others, but Harold Minchum soon decided he ought to return Iris to where he mother had left her._

_They had a very pleasant conversation about murder on their way back. Just as they arrived back in front of the door, Freya stepped out. She had the look of a person who had been crying for several minutes and had tried to cover up the evidence hurriedly._

_"Come on, Iris," She said, paying no heed to the man beside her daughter. She dragged her daughter away, Iris waved goodbye to her new friend. He raised his coffee cup in salute and winked. He took another sip and watched the two descend the lift again. He sighed and walked back to the general offices._

_There was a wall there. A wall covered in framed photos. Not photos of criminal like the other wall; photos of officers who had perished. He slowly made his way to the end of the wall and stopped in front of a very specific one._

_David Brooks grinned down at him. He smiled into his coffee._

_"You have a very interesting daughter," Harold minchum mentioned._

_"I know," David said, happily._

_"Cheers, mate." He said, raising his_ _coffee_ _cup for the second time and downing the rest of it, leaving nothing but grounds in the bottom._


	45. Pressing Matters

"I hope you remember me," he said, collecting the papers he had been looking at and standing up.

"Of course, sir," I said, folding my hands behind my back. Harold Minchum had been the original man to tell me and my mother the news that my dad had died. He had worked with him. He had spoken with me when my mum had gone to the ministry to receive more details. He had kept visiting us for a while after he had died, ensuring that we had enough money and that we were faring well.

"There's no need to call an old friend sir. Harold is fine," he said, eyes twinkling. I sighed happily.

"Good. I thought that would be rather odd," I said, smiling. He chuckled and walked over to me and wrapped me in a big hug. I hugged back, taking in the all-too-comforting smell of his cologne. There's something reassuring about it and it's stuck with me ever since I've known him. He let go and gestured me toward the chair in front of his desk. He himself sat down in his own chair and leaned back, hands on his stomach.

"So. I've got to tell you all your 'duties' as my junior assistant." He took a sip of his coffee. "You don't have to do much. My secretary handles most paperwork, you probably met her. Spikey cat-eye glasses?" I nodded. He nodded back and set down his mug. "All you have to do is basically follow me around and takes notes on meetings, interviews, and hearings. Those notes can be sent to the Daily Prophet if they need it or for other things. Most likely they'll just go into case folders and the like. You're also required to just help me out with random things if I request your help. Do you have a quill and parchment on you by chance?" He asked, rolling back his sleeve to check his watch.

"No," I said. "I wasn't told I needed that."

"It's alright, here's some." He handed me a large jet-black quill and a long sheaf of parchment that I could unroll if I needed more room. "The quill had a refill spell on it, so it doesn't run out of ink. Are you ready?" He said, standing and rummaging around his desk, searching for a few particular papers.

"For what?" I said, standing as well, having taken the quill and parchment.

"Your first meeting. I'm talking with the head of Magical Law Enforcement, Wizengamot, and head of the Regulation and control of Magical Creatures, as well as the head of the International Magical Office of Law," He said this all very quickly. I blinked.

"Why?" I asked, following him as he led me out the door.

"We're facing a problem. I'm sure you realize You-Know-Who had grown more powerful in the past year. That's why I was elected, to replace Eugenia Jenkins. She handled the whole pure-blood riot stuff and the Squib right marches pretty well, but we all knew we needed someone else for handling You-Know-Who. I need to figure out something to fix the whole death-eater problem we're dealing with right now." He swept quickly into the lift. I followed him quickly, standing beside him as the lift doors clanked shut.

"How are you going to do that?" I asked as he pressed the button for Level 9 and they began to descend.

"I'm thinking more dementors around Azkaban. As well as a heightened requirement in Defense Against the Dark Arts in magical schools across Great Britain. We also need to re-evaluate certain laws." He waved his hand round vaguely.

"Sounds very important," I said, almost becoming worried. Not for him, I was sure he'd done this many times. I was worried I would be bad at taking notes.

"Yes," He nodded. "Your notes will go to the Daily Prophet and a couple other newspapers as well as be sent to the Magical Office of Law so we can send out a letter to all the wizarding families in Britain. But don't worry. There will also be a quick notes quill taking notes on everything everyone says. You just need to describe things. No pressure or anything," he said, smiling down at me.

"Of course not," I said. Before I could ask any more questions, we had arrived at level 9. He swiftly stepped out, nodding to a few workers on that level. I followed him past a few dark looming doors to a hallway and, in turn, a flight of stairs.

"The lift doesn't go down to level 10, unfortunately," he said, quickly making his way down the stairs. "So. How this is going to work." He motioned for me to join his side. "I am going to appeal to Wizengamot with my ideas. I will discuss with the Heads of the various departments to see if this is possible, if they are good ideas, their effect, and if they have any ideas themselves. Wizengamot will vote and then we'll see what happens. Make sure to get a vague estimate of the votes, that's important. Just for reference, there are fifty Wizengamot members, so you can either give the estimated number in fractions or a rough estimated number." He stopped just in front of a large, heavy looking door and turned towards me. "Have you got all that?"

"Yes," I said, my mind still trying to gather up all the information. He nodded and made a move to open the door but paused.

"Also, don't get scared of my 'Minister' persona," He said, and before I could ask what meant, he had pushed open the door and walked through. I hurried after. The room was filled with people. There was one chair in the middle of the room. Harold immediately moved toward this chair, discreetly motioning to where I should sit. The whole room had stood when he had entered.

There was a table in front of the Wizengamot chairs, on the main floor. Here sat the heads of the departments Harold had called there. A long sheaf of parchment floated in the air beside this desk, with the quick-quotes-quill floating just above it, poised and ready to take notes. Two chairs sat off to the far left. One was where I was to sit, the other had a man with a camera. The Wizengamot stands were full and I managed to see the face of Albus Dumbledore smiling down at me before I reached my chair and Harold reached his.

It was deathly quiet as everyone stayed standing, waiting for Harold to make his first move. He looked coldly at everyone in the room, almost glared at them until he gestured for everyone to be seated and he himself sat down. I sat and crossed my legs, intent on taking to very good, informational, legible notes. The man beside me took a picture of Harold who had just sat for a moment for the sake of formality.

He had stood back up and had his hands clasped behind his back. His face had taken a hard edge. I began to understand what he meant by his 'minister' persona.

"We are facing some difficult challenges as of later," he spoke loudly, almost shouting. Harshly. His voice echoed in the large room, menacingly. "Difficult challenges call for even more difficult decisions. I came into office with the intent of preventing a dangerous criminal from wreaking havoc in this world and I intend to do it. Our challenge is unlike any other we have faced before. We might have gotten a taste of it from Grindelwald not that long ago, but his reign of terror is nothing compared to what's coming." He surveyed the room, glaring into the crowd. He let the silence swell and break before continuing. "I have a few proposals." He nodded gravely at the table containing the heads of Magical Law Enforcement, Regulation and control of Magical Creatures and the International Magical Office of Law.

I began taking notes. Notes on how he delivered his speech and reactions as well as numbers, all the while, the photographer was snapping pictures.

"My first proposal is this," Harold said, loudly. "Increasing the number of dementors around Azkaban." There were a few nods from the crowd, a general affirmation that this was a good idea. But then he continued. "We have around fifty stationed now. It is my belief that we increase it to two hundred." Ripples of dissent and confusion made their way through the stands. Harold held up his hands for silence. "I understand that this is a rather large change to make, but I believe it will help. May I continue?" he growled and the room quieted. "My second proposal is changing the requirements in Defense Against the Dark Arts classes in magical schools in Great Britain." He paused for a moment. "I also believe this situation calls for a few changes in laws, but I will be saving that for later."

He had his hands behind his back again and he paused once more to survey Wizengamot and the table. He glanced my way and I almost shivered. His eyes were no longer warm and inviting, but icy and impersonal. Now I knew what his 'Minister' persona was. I was scribbling as many notes as possible, noting how many people in the crowd looked as though they supported these ideas.

As we slowly made our way through the proceedings, more and more people fell into line with Harold's ideas. His reasoning for adding more dementor was solid.

"If we make the punishment for breaking these laws, it will prevent more people from _willingly_ joining You-Know-Who's cause," Many people agreed with this line of thinking. When they voted, about two-thirds of Wizengamot supported the idea. I noticed Dumbledore didn't raise his hand, something I found slightly odd.

"If we harshen the curriculum for Defense Against the Dark Arts, it will protect our people more so that they have the knowledge needed for fighting off people they'll have to protect themselves from. We need a more basic understanding within the wizarding community." Almost everyone seemed in favour of that. When they voted, this idea received about four-fifths support including, I was happy to see, Dumbledore. I made note of this.

Then we got into the law changing/making business.

"The use of the three unforgivable curses are skyrocketing. This creates a problem," Harold said, pacing in his terrifying way. "Any use of these curses are immediate sends to Azkaban. That is that law, and that had always been the law since these curses were discovered. I don't want to change these laws. However, you all must be aware of what the Imperious curse can do to people. This creates," He sighed for effect. "a difficulty. How do we know if someone is being forced to do something illegal against their will?"

Murmurings broke out in Wizengamot.

"We already have a law about this, of course, but it's vague. It simply says, and I quote, 'If any person is discovered being under the imperious curse, the placer of the curse shall receive the punishment of both the breaking of the law in question and for using the highly illegal curse and the receiver shall go free even if they were the one to do the literal breaking of the law.' This works, but it doesn't work well enough." He looked through the crowd yet again. "We have no way to prove if someone has or hasn't been imperiused. We know basic symptoms, but if someone had read up enough of them, they are easily replicable. This creates a problem."

Harold continued his case and when he had finished, Wizengamot began to debate. An old wizened, grey-haired man stood, shakily, but with a determined look on his face. Harold nodded for him to speak.

"We could interview them with veritaserum. Ask them whether or not they really believe they were imperioused and be done with it," he said, nodding. Someone else stood, a purple-eyed woman this time. They were so bright, Iris could see them from the floor.

"That's too complicated. It's illegal to force someone to take veritaserum, and the only people who will willingly take it are the people who aren't lying. Instead, perhaps we could investigate the person they believe they imperioused. See if they have a questionable past and do a proper investigation," She sat down, but someone else stood up.

"That's also complicated. The person may not be able to tell us the person who imperioused them. Continuing with that, we can't investigate someone with just an accusation, there must be some sort of proof otherwise it's an unwarranted search. In continuation, it would be all too easy to pretend to be imperioused, break the law, and then blame it on someone with a questionable track record,"

This continued for a long time, everyone fighting with each other and bringing up more points. Everything soon became a tangled mess, one where none of the knots seemed to satisfy everyone. I found myself becoming more puzzled with every new idea. Surely there was a simpler solution? I began racking my brains, digesting the information everyone had said and inserting my own knowledge of the laws.

A couple minutes of migraine-inducing thought something clicked. I gasped, quietly, my eyes widening down at my paper.

Harold Minchum glanced, my way, his eyebrows furrowed from the mess he was in. He saw my wide eyes and the idea in my mind.

"Iris!" He said, cheerily. I snapped my head up. "You seem to have an idea. Care to share it with us?" He nodded, smiling for the first time since he had entered the room. I tried to keep my mouth from gaping.

"I—I don't really know if I'm qualified, sir." I managed to say. I cringed as my voice echoed in the room.

"Nonsense, come up here." He gestured for me to join his side. I bit my lip and made my way to the centre of the room. Standing in front of it all, the number of people seemed to grow. Harold put an arm around my shoulder. I tried not to think about how many judgmental eyes were upon me then. "What's going on inside that head of yours?" he asked, smiling down at me.

"Um... well... the two things I think we're all getting caught up on are that one, it is the accused's right to refuse veritaserum, and two, we cannot run an investigation based solely on an accusation. The thing we're forgetting are two very important laws. Article 2 Section 390B states that when it is impossible for there to be any proof of crime other than an accusation, for example, rape or the imperious curse, an investigation can be led, so long as the accusor submits to a veritaserum test. In junction, Article 5 Section 690D, states that if someone refuses a veritaserum test, investigators can view that as a guilty statement unless the being in question can give suitable statement for refusal," I paused to take a breath. The whole room seemed to stare at me in interest.

"If we have a situation where someone is accusing someone else of using the imperious curse on them, there are steps we can take. First, ask the accusor to submit to a veritaserum test. If they refuse and they can't give a reasonable explanation for why, you are permitted to do an investigation of their character. If they submit, you can interview them and based on the results of the interview, have enough evidence to investigate the accused. If you get ahold of the accused and they refuse a veritaserum test, you are legally allowed to investigate their character. If they submit, the evidence collected can be used against or for them. Of course, this whole thing is even more complicated if someone was imperioused and while imperioused, imperioused another person, but I believe this is the most logical way to go about it. If I am permitted to say," I added, hastily.

The room was silent. Then someone stood. A woman with raven-black hair spoke.

"This girl is right. These laws together make sense, and if we can tweak the proper ones and add another article of laws solely based off the imperious curse, then this could work." She sat and someone else stood.

"I second that," he said. He sat and someone else stood.

"I second that as well," She said, and sat down. Harold held his hands out.

"All those in favour, raise your right hand," he said. I quickly took a mental tally and was relieved to see that it was a high majority. I glanced around and caught Dumbledore's eye. His eye twinkled and he made sure I could see his upright hand.

"You may lower your hands," Harold said. He poked me in the back, teasingly and I sat back down in my chair to quickly scribble out the numbers. "This, I believe, concludes this meeting. You may all depart." The room clattered to arise and Harold smoothly made his way to the door, nodding his head toward the door so that I might join him. We stopped just outside the door. I stepped back a bit so that Harold might shake everyone's hands easier but he pulled me forward.

"They'll want to shake your hand too," He muttered. And indeed, they did. Some with judgemental eyes, some with complete sincerity.

"Wonderful job," A quiet voice cajolled me from my mental shock. I looked into the electric blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore.

"Th—thank you," I stuttered out. He shook hands with Harold as well and then went on his way, his silver robes glittering behind him. Leave it to Dumbledore to wear that to a Wizengamot meeting.

Soon, the flood of people trickled away and Harold took me around the shoulders and led me upstairs.

"Truly amazing," he murmured.

"What?" I asked.

"You! That was probably one of the most amazing things I have ever seen working here. Very put-together, you wouldn't even know you hadn't planned it. You were probably too nervous to pay attention to this, but when you started spouting of Article and Section numbers, people's jaws dropped in shock. Truly amazing,"

I laughed out loud.

"I can't believe you made me do that," I shook my head, grinning.

"But aren't you so glad it happened?" He said, grinning. We were soon back on level 9 and even sooner in the lift.

"Yes," I said, laughing. "Yes, I am."


	46. Forgetting

_(Ten Years Prior)_

_"Mummy?" A little six-year-old asked, climbing onto the foot of her mother's bed. Her mother didn't answer. "When are we going to put on Christmas lights?"_

_Her mother rolled over, looking at her with the empty, sad eyes she had kept for the last three months of her husband being gone, and realizing that the ministry could do nothing._

_"Why would we be putting up Christmas lights?" She said in a hoarse voice._

_"Be—because it's December. Isn't that what we do every Christmas?" Iris asked, confused. Her eyebrows furrowed._

_"Not this year, darling. Not this year..." Her mother trailed off and turned her back to her daughter, succumbing to another bout of depression._

_Iris turned, sadly contemplating what this meant._

_"Does that mean we're not having Christmas at all?" She asked tears in her eyes. Her mother didn't answer. Iris screwed up her eyes and ran out of the room, closing the door behind her. She ran to the couch and buried her head in her hands, curled up into a ball. Everything had been so confusing since her father died. Iris knew he was dead, but she hadn't cried over it. She kept the same mentality, that she wouldn't cry until she saw a body, and even then she would only cry once. These were the kinds of adult things she had been thinking._

_She had to be an adult now. Her mother was in no fit state to take care of the two of them, and her father was gone. She knew how to do things from watching her mother, but cooking was hard, and she was short. She had already burned herself a couple times. It was hard going._

_She had also taken on cleaning the house. It was a lot easier with the wand the ministry had delivered a few months ago, along with that medallion. Her mother had thrown it in a drawer and refused to look at them, but Iris had taken it out. Immediately, the wand seemed to bond to her._

_She didn't know this at the time, but the wand was made of Beechwood, Thestral tail hair, 14 1/2 inches, and springy. The meaning in such a description would haunt her after finding out, but this was before she knew all that. The wand had been from Gregorvitch. That was why the wand core was not one of Ollivander's 'special three' if you will._

_Iris had been making a lot of progress, magic-wise. She had already flooed to the magical library in Diagon Alley multiple times for books, and she knew certain spells. There was also the fact that for a six-year-old, she had incredible concentration. Spells are all good and well, but there was a completely unrelated side of magic that only young kids know about. Unpredictable magic. The ability to do magic without an incantation._

_A child with a wand is generally a bad idea. That's why most countries had an age limit for when you could get a wand. Iris knew, this, but resolved to ignore it._

_She had already figured out how to make the house clean itself and how to cook with it. There was progress to be made._

_(Ten years prior)_

_"Mummy, mummy! It's Christmas Eve! Do you want to see what I made for dinner? It's so good and I made it all by myself without magic and—"_

_"Iris. I'm trying to sleep," Freya said, rolling over._

_"Oh. Sorry," Iris said, putting her hands behind her back. "Are you sure you don't want to try it?" Her mother didn't answer. She sighed and walked out, fighting back tears._

_(Ten years prior)_

_"Mummy! It's Christmas! Are we gonna exchange gifts like we did last year? I made you a picture! Do you want to see it?" Iris said, jumping on her mother's bed._

_"I'm sleeping," her mother said._

_"Oh. Okay... I'll just put it right here then..." Iris said, slowly slipping off her bed. She placed the drawing on her mother's bedside and shutting the door behind her._

_The next time Iris came in the room to leave her mum dinner, the picture was on the floor, halfway under the bed and covered in dust. She tried not to cry and she picked it up and hung it in her room using a pin. She didn't like looking at it anymore._

_(Nine years prior)_

_"Mummy! Mummy! It's my birthday, remember? Did you get me anything?" Iris hopped up and down excitedly. "August seventeenth, remember?" Her mother didn't stir. "Mummy?"_

_"Go away," her mother said, muffled from the blankets over her face. Iris's ecstatic face slowly dripped off revealing and very confusing one. One that was angry, sad, confused, disappointed, frustrated and plenty of others. She left the room without another word._

_(Nine years prior)_

_One thing had changed. Freya was out of her bedroom. She had taken to sitting on the couch and staring at the wall, but Iris didn't care. It was way better than he staying in her room forever. Iris was now seven, but she had the mental age of someone who was at least eleven. She had learned to shop by herself, how to lie and tell the concerned adults that her mummy was just outside, but she didn't want to come in because her twin brothers were being naughty._

_She had learned to cook, not without a few burns, but she was learning. She had learned to write and read chapter books. She had learned to clean and do more magic than a level two at Hogwarts, mostly due to her weekly library visits to Diagon Alley. She was very good at not showing genuine emotion._

_She was the adult of the house now. She did laundry and learned how to pay the bills. She was teaching herself howt o garden and was already practising nonverbal spells with the spells she had learned. She had taught herself everything she could with the limited amount of sources she could get._

_One other thing changed too._

_Her mother was slowly going through the transition from shock, into blame. And from blame into loss of sanity. And from loss of sanity to... abuse._

_As she grew less stable, her eyes grew less green. It would be another year before they were fully grey, and another year before she actually acted on her violent thoughts, but very soon, Iris would decide to brush up on a muggle subject called psychology, and soon after that, she would seek help._

_She would learn how to box from the only friend she ever made back then; her boxing coach._


	47. Coach

It was all too much. With my two jobs, one at the three broomsticks and the one at the ministry, I didn't have much time. The only day I had free were Sundays. My schedule was hectic. I woke up at 6:00 every morning. I showered, combed my hair, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, etc, then at 8:00 I would put on my scarlet robes and floo to the ministry. I'd work until 4:00 pm with an hour-long lunch break in between. I'd floo home, change, and floo to the three broomsticks at 5:00 and work until 9:00 pm.

I did this Monday through Saturday. Saturday I'd just have to check into the ministry, ask if there was anything to do (there never was), and then floo to the three broomsticks to work the entire day. The only good thing was that the ministry provided lunch and I could take free food from the three broomsticks whenever I liked, so shopping wasn't all too difficult.

My mum could take care of herself food-wise. Although, I was debating whether or not I needed to hire a new healer for the summers. But money was tight, and I couldn't risk it. I was earning two galleons per hour at the Three Broomsticks and six galleons per hour at the ministry. I had to convert that into British pounds whenever I paid taxes, so I was earning around £29.58 an hour from the ministry and £9.86 from the three broomsticks, which meant I was earning £246.50 a day. It wasn't as much as I would like, specifically because I wouldn't be able to work this hard during school, but I would make it work.

But Sundays. Sundays were when I had no obligation to anything. I had already finished the summer homework I had received at the end of my year at Hogwarts, so I didn't have to do anything.

So I boxed.

I woke up this morning, pleased to not hear the dreadful sound of my half-broken alarm clock and jumped into the shower to wake up. I quickly dressed in my workout clothes, tied my hair in a ponytail, and grabbed my already packed workout bag. I grabbed my wallet off my dresser and toasted some toast. I quickly ate the three pieces and gulped down a glass of milk, grabbed an apple, and raced out the door.

I walked a mile as I finished my apple. I tossed the core, threw my bag so that it rested more firmly on my back and ran the last three miles.

I arrived at the facility in a nice sweat. I walked inside and greeted the woman at the desk.

"Hello, Iris. Back from boarding school?" she asked. I laughed.

"Yup. It's good to be back," I grinned.

"Where do you go, again?" she asked as I handed her my membership card. As I've said before, I lived in a muggle town. Full of muggles, obviously.

"Scamander's Acadamy," I lied easily.

"Oh yes, you've told me. Very small, isn't it?" She smiled and handed me back my card.

"Very, _very_ small," I grinned.

"Alright, I'd better let you go. Jeremy will want to see you as soon as possible," she winked. I bid her goodbye and walked into the back hallway through several different classrooms. Amelie's Gym as it was so named, was a sort of school mixed with a gym.

You could hire a trainer to teach you something specific, or you could just use their gym and practice yourself. I had a trainer.

I turned left, past all the dancing studios, glancing in a few of them to see ballerinas and breakdancers working hard. I passed more studios to see martial arts and weightlifting plus plenty of others, but I soon arrived at room 37B. Boxing with Jeremy Scotts.

There were plenty of boxing coaches. Boxing happened to be one of the more popular sports that they taught, but everyone wanted the younger, sprightlier coaches. Jeremy Scotts was not one of those, but I had chosen him. I opened the door slowly, and crept in, not wanting to disturb as I saw he was teaching another one of his students; a regular.

I quietly placed my bag on the bench and began to stretch as he finished up. The student was someone I recognized. His name was Mason Yates. At least I thought it was. He must've had a growth spurt. He was at least a foot taller than when I saw him last. He was also more chiselled, more muscled, and his hair was a lot longer. Still as blond as ever, but it looked like he was styling it now. He glanced my way and winked, but quickly returned to what Mr Scotts was telling him.

I shook my head and grinned, wondering how such a dork could ever end up looking that handsome. I had known him since I was eight.

"Alright, that's enough for now. We're intruding on Iris's time," Mr Scotts said, grinning at me. I stood from my stretch and walked over to hug him. "How's it going, champ?" he asked.

"Just as well as it can be," I replied, squeezing tighter and then letting go.

"You've met Mason before, haven't you?" he said, gesturing at the blond, who was grabbing his own bag from the bench. He came back over.

"Of course she has, we've known each other forever!" He said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and looking down at me.

"You've changed," I said, as soon as I hugged him.

"Yeah, you like what you see?" He said, winking and flexing at me. I laughed.

"Sure. You ever get far with Julie?" I asked him as he packed up the rest of his bag.

"Not yet, but I can tell she's falling for me. See you around!" He said waving and closing the door behind him.

"Alrighty, then. Have you been practising?" Mr Scotts asked me. Jeremy Scotts was old. His hair was greying, his eyes and cheeks were laced with wrinkles, and he seemed to be growing shorter rather than taller, but he was as active as any of the young kids in the building. He was strong and muscled just like Mason and he wasn't someone you would want to mess with.

"Not since school got out," I admitted.

"That's fine, that's fine. You wanna warm up and I'll turn on our playlist?" Mr Scotts had a playlist for every student. It was the first thing he did when you met him. He called it his Personality Lesson. Whenever you changed enough, he called a new one and the whole time you just talked and the next day, he had a new playlist the next week.

My playlist was a mixture of classic rock and pop rock, with the occasional rap. Rock was just something that spoke to me when I was working out. I had managed to give him some Weird Sisters albums and he'd asked where I'd found the band. I'd told them they used to be students at my boarding school and so their only fans seemed to come from the school. That they were a small, unappreciated band. It wasn't hard to lie to muggles, but it was different with Jeremy Scotts. It felt like he could stare into your soul and glean out all the truth.

The music started and I recognized a Weird Sisters song I gave him months and months ago. It was called 'Hypocrisy'.

I began my reps as the music swelled throughout the room.

_I broke your heart, I crushed it in my hands,_

  
_but you'd never understand what I'd been through,_

  
_you could never understand, no you could never understand,_

  
_I hurt you to save me_

I began to punch harder as the chorus swelled and broke. The song ended and Mr Scotts decided I was warmed up enough.

"Alright, let's start with your form." He began to point out the little things, the little habits I had fallen out of over the year and helped me correct them. He teased me on the fact that I never remembered to keep my opposite fist at the side of my face.

"You keep it there to block attacks. You don't want to be punched in the face, do you?" He grinned. I rolled my eyes and rested my thumb near my jaw to keep my mind remembering where it was supposed to be. Fifteen minutes later and Mr Scotts had me stop.

"Enough with the bag. Let's get into strategy." He grabbed the punching mitts and put them on his hands. Punching mitts were basically flat disks under and glove that he would move around that I had to hit. "Just hit them for now. I'm not going to warn you when I move on though,"

I knew what that meant. First, he would have me punch the mitts and then without warning he would do what he called 'practice punches' where he would point out my vulnerability by making the move that would take me down.

We began. I hit wherever he moved his mitts and I worked on remembering to keep my opposite glove next to my face. I was pretty good until he made a move. He punched my stomach lightly.

"You're focusing so much on keeping your glove near your face, you're forgetting that your elbows are supposed to protect your chest and stomach. Keep going."

We did. I made the same mistake two more times until I began focusing on my body more than my face where then he caught my face.

"You need to find a balance. Figure out how to protect both parts of your body without letting the other become vulnerable. Again."

We began again, and this time, when he tried to punch my stomach, I blocked and blocked my face just in time for when he retaliated.

"Good, good. You're getting the hang of it. Keep going." We practised this for another half hour until my time was up. He had another student to teach.

He straightened up from his odd crouch and took off the mitts.

"Great job today. You're showing improvement," He smiled at me and I laughed.

"There seems to be a lot that I've forgotten," I grinned. He chuckled.

"Well, you'll re-learn it quick enough. Have a nice week," he said, giving me one last hug.

"You too," I packed up my bag again and headed out the door. I waved goodbye to the secretary and ran the four miles home.

As I ran, I began thinking. Why did I do this? Why did I stay here, in this stupid little rinky-dink muggle town, with a mum who abused me, and living on the edge of bankruptcy? Why? It certainly wasn't for my mother, I lied to myself.

I pretended I didn't care about her. I pretended I'd rather have her dead than alive, but I was lying to myself. But certainly having all that would be enough to get me to run away, not caring about the consequences.

Maybe on a small level, I agreed with my mum. Maybe I had killed my father. Maybe I deserved all this. Why wouldn't I? I had made him take the job. If I hadn't maybe he'd still be alive. Maybe I stayed with my mum because on some small level I felt guilty that I had caused her insanity. Maybe.

I soon came to the conclusion, however, that while all those things were true, I stayed because I still had friends here. Maybe they were old dudes who could knock me out in one punch. Maybe they were guys who flirted with me endlessly but were always after another girl. Maybe they were secretaries whose names I didn't even know, but they were still people. People who kept me sane. People who kept me wanting to care for my mum, no matter how terrible the job.

I didn't care. Not really. Summers were terrible, dreadful, depressing things. I hated them. But at least there were a few people who made it worthwhile.


	48. A Sealed Deal

_(Seven Years Prior)_

_Iris was now nine. Not old enough to be an adult, yet with everything she did, she seemed to be. She knew how to shop, she knew how to pay taxes, she read chapter books and wrote on a level not achievable by the average nine-year-old, she read the newspaper, both muggle and wizard papers, and spoke like someone twice her age._

_She could pass for twelve is she dressed like it._

_None of this helped her though. Her mother had grown gradually "better" if that was term even worth using. Her mother now wandered around the house, no longer just laying in her bedroom. Her eyes seemed to be a permanent shade of grey and she never spoke._

_She was insane, however._

_It had been a slow descent into madness. She had stayed in her bed for a year after David died, stewing and saddened. The next year, she stared at a wall and allowed her thoughts to scare her. Then came the abused. For almost an entire year she berated her daughter with accusations and criticisms. It affected iris a great deal, yet she never let her mother see._

_About a week ago the physical abuses began. Iris was a smart girl. She knew it was abuse, she knew it was illegal, and she knew she had options._

_And yet the year of verbal abuse held her fast, far more than she believed. She had begun to believe her mother. That she really was useless and it was her fault her father had died. That, combined with the fact that she still managed to love her mother was just barely enough to keep her there._

_So, she let the abuse happen. But the first time her mother managed to make her black out for a couple seconds, she decided there was at least one thing she could do._

_So she went to the library and researched on the boxy old computer, where the nearest self-defence school was. There was one thirty miles away. Even she knew this was too much to walk, so she asked the librarian for the next-best thing._

_There was a gym, the librarian told her, that had classes on things. Maybe she would find one there._

_So she went. She walked the four miles to the gym and walked inside._

_"Pardon me," she spoke to the secretary at the front desk._

_"Yes?" The sharp-nosed woman asked._

_"Do you have any self-defence classes available?" Iris asked, in her I'm-older-than-I-look voice._

_"Hmm... no, but we do have boxing or karate classes if you would be interested," The secretary replied. Iris tilted her head, deciding._

_"I think I'd rather like to do boxing," she said. The secretary smiled._

_"Alright then. Is your mother here?" she asked, Iris was a very good liar, having honed the skill very specifically for when she was talking to adults._

_"She's grocery shopping. She dropped me off her to sign up," Iris said._

_"Okay. Here is the admission sheet. Do you have a phone number?" The secretary pulled her glasses down to the edge of her nose._

_"No, my mummy doesn't like technology. Is an address alright?" Iris lied again._

_"That's fine, just write it down here along with your name," the secretary said. Iris did so very quickly and handed it back to her. "Would you like to meet the trainers? You have to pick one, we have several," the secretary said. Iris nodded and as soon as the secretary put away the paper, she led Iris down a long hallway past windows Iris was too short to see through._

_The secretary led her to one room where three people were sitting. One was a very buff and handsome looking young man. Another was a young woman who looked as though she was constantly flexing. The other was an older man, who was by no means an Olympian but looked just as well off as the other two._

_"I have a new student for you," the secretary spoke. The three trainers stood and came over, smiling at Iris. She wanted to shrink down from intimidation but stood her ground with a fire in her eyes. The older man saw and his eyes twinkled back._

_"Hi, I'm Adam," The young man said._

_"I'm Jules," The young woman said, smiling._

_"I'm Jeremy," The older man said, with the same twinkle in his eyes as before._

_"Hi," Iris said in a strong voice._

_"You're all capable of adding another student to your schedule, correct?" the secretary verified. They all nodded. "Alright, you can choose now if you'd like," the secretary told Iris. She looked them over._

_"I like Jeremy," Iris said. Jeremy laughed._

_"I knew it. Alrighty, lemme show you my studio," Jeremy said, leading her out the door, through the hall, and into a different classroom._

_"I must ask you about payment," Iris said, getting right down to business._

_"let's wait on that for a moment. Let's get to know each other first. Can I show you a couple things on the bag?" he asked. Iris nodded. He walked up and did a series of punches and then paused. "Can you repeat that?" He asked._

_Iris walked up to the bag and did the series of punches he had done._

_"Good. You did it almost perfectly. I just need to go over power with you. But right now, let's talk." He smiled and sat down, cross-legged on the floor. Iris copied him. "Why do you want to learn how to box?" He asked, eying her face, right where Iris knew a bruise had formed._

_"Well, initially I wanted a self-defence class but I couldn't find one near me and I assumed this was the next-best option," she said._

_"Hm." he hmmed. "What do your parents do for a living?" he asked._

_"Well, my father had a full-time job in being dead, and my mother is a waitress." Iris partially lied._

_"I see. Well, back to the money thing I can tell you're very hung-up on," he said, watching Iris's fingers twiddle nervously. "One pound a month should be enough," he said. Iris gaped._

_"One pound a month? Why, that's nothing! I can't pay_ just _a pound," she said._

_"You can, and you will. That's the price, I will never raise it." his eyes twinkled a little sadder. "We need to look after each other, after all." He held out his hand so that she would shake it, as though sealing the deal._

_"Al—alright," she managed to choke out._

_They shook hands, sealing the deal._

_The twinkle in his eyes increased by a tenfold._

_"Happy doing business with you," He smiled._

_"Likewise," and to her utmost surprise, Iris smiled back._


	49. I'll Make You a Promise

It had been a rather long day already and it wasn't even lunch yet. Harold had needed several reports sent to the Daily Prophet as well as one for the Department of Mysteries and one for the Department for Magical Transport. I was just on my way out of his office yet again to deliver a rather large file of papers to the head of the Department for Magical Law Enforcement. I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear and looked up to enter the lift when I notice a very familiar someone leaning on a desk nearby.

"What on earth are you doing here?" I asked James Potter, mouth agape. He grinned.

"I just came by to congratulate you in person," He said with a smirk and made his way to me.

"What for?" I asked. Instead of answering, he just plopped a newspaper on the desk in front of me. The headline read 'Junior Assistant to the M.O.M. Solves Problem Puzzling Wizengamot at Most Important Meeting This Year'. The below statement read 'Iris Brooks, age 16, helps out Wizengamot with a complex problem regarding the laws surrounding the Imperious Curse'. A moving picture sat just below the headline of me explaining to Wizengamot how to solve the problem. Harold Minchum stood beside me, smiling down approvingly.

I looked really good. Really important. It was all in black and white, but the robe I was wearing made me look just as important as everyone else in the room. The Wizengamot crowd looked down at Harold and me, all paying rapt attention to me.

"Wha—? How... how did this happen?" I asked James, reverently picking up the newspaper to read the full article.

"What do you mean 'how did it happen'? You were in a room full of reporters and photographers. This was the most interesting to happen." He laughed. "It goes on later to explain the premise of the meeting, all the stuff with the changes in laws, but look at that! You made the front page your first day," He laughed again, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and squeezing.

"What's all this? Iris, who's this?" the Minister of Magic asked, coming out of his office.

"Oh, this is James Potter, he's one of my close friends." I felt James straighten when I said 'close friend'. "He just came by to tell me I got into the newspaper," I grinned.

"Really? Let me see that," Harold said, lowering his glasses to read it. He smiled. "Well, you certainly started your career out with a bang." He laughed.

I took back the newspaper and gazed at the photo again.

"What was your name again?" Harold asked James.

"James Potter sir," James said, shaking his hand.

"Got it. I'm Harold Minchum," he said. James gaped, his mouth opening and closing like a fish's.

"The—the Minister for Magic?" James said in shock.

"That's me," Harold grinned and paused to check his watch. "I'll tell you what, Iris doesn't have much else to do today, so once she's done delivering this folder you can stay awhile. I've got stuff to do now. Farewell," he said, motioning for me to get a move on. I glanced at James, whose mouth was still agape. I put a hand under his jaw and closed it, laughing once Harold returned to his office.

"That was the Minister for Magic," James stated.

"Yup," I nodded, grabbing my files and entering the lift. James rushed after me.

"I can't believe you work for the Minister," he said, almost in awe as the doors slid shut. The lift started moving.

"I can't believe I'm in the newspaper," I said, once more looking over the article.

"I can. A face like yours was made for the newspaper," He winked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"You flatter me," I said, shaking my head.

"Not enough, it seems," he said, leaning closer. I pressed my back against the wall and he grinned and leaned back, away from me and bit his lip. I ignored the empty pang in my chest as he did.

"How are your parents?" I asked him, flipping through the files.

"They're well. Still asking when I'm going to ask you out," He smirked as I scoffed.

"As if you don't do that enough," I shook my head, smiling.

"Seems like it's been a while. Iris, will you go on a date with me?" He grinned as I shoved his face away and walked out the lift doors which had finally opened.

"You're despicable," I laughed.

"Ah well. Worth a try," he winked at me and I snorted.

"I cannot believe you. Don't you have things to do?" I asked him as I weaved my way through several desks filled with people rapidly scribbling on long pieces of parchment.

"Not now that the Minister himself gave me permission to spend the whole day with you," James smirked.

"Well—well... well I don't have a comeback for that," I admitted. James gave a bark of laughter. "But if you cause trouble I'll kick your arse out onto the street so fast you won't be able to say sorry," I nodded curtly, pointing a finger in his face.

"As you wish," James said, mock bowing. I hit him over the head with the rolled up newspaper, shaking my head, and then knocked on the door to the head of the Department for Magical Law Enforcement. A frazzled looking woman with curly grey hair sticking up all over the place opened the door. A streak of something blue was on the corner of her lip that looked like ink and she had large purple bags under her eyes. She looked like a disaster.

"Whatd'ya want?" She asked, leaning on the frame of her door like it was the only thing supporting her.

"The Minister wanted me to deliver this to you," I said, handing over the thick file. She swore once, opened up the file, flipped through a few pages, and swore again.

"Well, thanks," she said, shutting the door in my face.

"Alrighty then," I said, a little startled. "Let's go back," I told James, weaving through the mass of disorganized desks yet again.

Once we were in the lift again, James raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have to deal with that kind of stuff often?" James asked, grinning. I shrugged.

"Eh. Not a lot. I mostly just talk to the head of departments and different members of Wizengamot and they usually have their crap together. Based on what Harold told me, the head of this department is always like that. She has one of the worst jobs in the ministry besides the minister himself." I told him. He nodded.

"Have you boxed in a while?" James asked me. I nodded.

"Yeah, I went to the gym yesterday," I told him. He nodded, thoughtfully.

"D'you... Do you think you could teach me?" James said, scratching the back of his neck, uncomfortably. My eyes widened, excitedly.

"Yes, that would be so cool!" I said, grinning. He grinned back and was about to say something else when the lift doors opened and we got out. "We'll probably have to wait until school starts up again, I don't actually own a punching bag at home," I said. he nodded.

"That's fine. I don't have much time right now anyway," James said. We made our way to Harold's office. I knocked and muffled 'come in!' came from inside. I opened the door and stepped inside, James following close behind. He gaped at the office surrounding him, but I went quickly back to business.

"Is there anything else you need me to do for you?" I asked Harold, who was currently rifling about in his desk drawers.

"No, no. Why don't you go for lunch right now? I'm a little busy today, I'm going to be joining the President of Magic from the United States this afternoon, so I won't be joining you. You can bring James along with you, I'll notify the restaurant so they know it's on me." he said, with a flurry of words.

"Alright, thanks," I said, stepping out and beckoning James to follow me. He did and made my way to the lift again.

"You eat lunch with Minister of Magic?" James asked, almost impressed.

"Yes, James," I huffed, annoyed. "We're friends, I've told you."

"I can't believe you friend with the M.O.M." He still said it with awe. I shrugged.

"It's not really as cool as your making it out to be," I said. Before he could answer, the lift doors opened revealing the Atrium, which of course was hustling and bustling with many, many people and workers. I stepped out and led James through the chaos to the fireplaces lining the edges of the room. We waited in line for a bit and when it was our turn, I grabbed James hand, stepped into the green flames and said a clearly as I could; "The Edge of Everywhere!"

We zoomed through the fireplace, James holding a tight grip on my wrist and me on his. The wind screamed in my ear and my eyes squinted because of the soot, but very quickly we slowed down and I kicked out my leg. We stumbled out of the fireplace and into a well-lit room.

The glass around us was all a light blue and the light fissures were purple and gold. I led James to a small table next to a window that was really an aquarium. I took off my red cloak and draped it over the back of my chair, revealing my outfit underneath. I really like this particular outfit. It was a high-waisted striped blue skirt with a yellow sweater tucked into it. The skirt had _pockets_. James sat down across from me and grinned, trying to grab my hand, but I placed them under the table and shot him a look.

A handsome waiter came up to our table. His complexion was like cocoa and his hair was cut short, but he was tall and sported one of the brightest smiles to exist.

"Hello, Iris. How are you today?" He asked, with an infectious smile.

"I'm doing very well, how are you, Maurice?" I asked him.

"I'm having a fantastic day. Who's this?" he asked me, nodding to James.

"This is James. James, Maurice. Maurice, James," I said, introducing each other. They nodded to each other in greeting.

"Where's the Minister today?" Maurice asked, taking out his notepad.

"He's meeting the Magical President of the United States today, so he couldn't come," I said, regretfully.

"Ah, so you invited your boyfriend to accompany you," he nodded. I jumped.

"No, no. he's not my boyfriend—" I started.

"But she wishes I was," James winked and I scowled at him. Maurice just laughed.

"Ah, I understand. I suppose you'll have the usual, Iris?" I nodded and he jotted that down. "And what will you have, sir?" James surveyed his menu.

"I'll have the chicken alfredo," he said, handing back the menu. Maurice wrote that down as well and took the menu.

"Alright, I'll be back soon," he smiled and turned away toward the kitchens.

I gave James a look.

"You insufferable idiot," I shook my head at him. He held a hand to his chest and gave me an insulted look.

"Moi? Surely not," he said, grinning.

"Yes, you," I said, shaking my head.

"What? You can't blame me. Harold Minchum totally set us up. I'm going to call this our first date," he grinned and managed to snag my hand this time. He began to draw small circles on my palm with his finger.

"This is not a date," I said.

"Of course not. We're just two friends of the opposite gender who are going out to eat with each other to enjoy each other's company. Platonically. Not romantically. Not on a date," he said, grinning in an insufferable way.

"Stop convoluting the situation," I said, rolling my eyes, still not pulling my hand away.

"Oh, so this is a situation now, is it?" he grinned, still trailing his fingers on my hand. It sent tingles down my spine for some odd reason. Perhaps his fingers were just cold.

"Whatever this is, it isn't a date," I said, shortly. He grinned but didn't reject.

After a few minutes, Maurice came back with our food and a pitcher of Strawberry Fizz, a drink The Three Broomsticks didn't sell and one the Minister and I liked quite a lot.

Maurice set a bowl of cream of broccoli soup in front of me as well as a small basket of crackers. He set James' chicken alfredo in front of him and shredded a bit of fresh Parmesan on top.

"Enjoy," he said. The food was fantastic as it always was at The Edge of Everything. It was an odd name, I know, but it was fun. Especially since this was a very high-end restaurant. I quickly finished my food and watched the funny creatures swim about the aquarium. I was positive I had just seen a Cthulhu when Maurice came back to take our empty dishes.

"Did you find everything to your liking?" he asked as he took our plates.

"Yes, fantastic as usual," I said. James nodded, agreeing.

"Dessert?" Maurice asked with a wink.

"Of course. Don't you know me, Maurice?" I joked.

"The usual again, miss?" he grinned and I nodded. "And what'll you have, sir?"

"Whatever the lady is having," James winked at me across the table. I rolled my eyes but smiled. Maurice nodded and walked away, taking the plates with him. James took my hand again and again began tracing circles around the back of my hand and my knuckles.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Hm. Nothing," I shrugged. "Just thinking." James nodded, understanding. There was a pause in the conversation before I spoke up suddenly. "Why do you love me?" I asked, biting my lip.

James startled and stopped tracing my hands.

"Why?" he asked, confirming. I nodded, biting my lip just a little bit harder and avoiding his eyes. He squeezed my hand. "There's not a simple answer to that question," he said, with a quiet chuckle. "Maybe it's your beauty. You're gorgeous, but you don't seem to notice it. Or maybe it's your humbleness. The fact that you think of others for yourself. Merlin save us, you convinced all your friends to break the law just to help out a friend," We both chuckled at that. I tried to fight the wetness in my eyes. "Maybe it's your fierceness, you're ability to stand up for what's right even if it's hard. I can't count the number of times you've protected others from people like Malfoy. Or me." he said the second part quieter and it was my turn to squeeze his hand.

"Or maybe it's your determination. You've never given up on a project you've started. Maybe it's your intelligence. That fact that you seem to know everything but you can explain it in a way us simple mortals can understand. Maybe it's because of your strength. The fact that you aren't scared of how people see you and that you aren't scared to prove people wrong. Maybe it's the fact that you believe everyone deserves a chance, even people as bad as... well. Me." My eyes were beginning to sting again, but this time I didn't try to fight it. James had begun rubbing my hand again, his gentle circles soothing my skin. "Or maybe," he said, lifting up my chin to meet his eyes. The tears had begun to drip. "It's all of that and more," he said, quietly. He brushed his thumb across my cheek, wiping away my tears.

I looked at him. He seemed sad, but caringly so. He seemed to at least slightly understand what I was going through at the moment. He didn't know the details, but he knew something was wrong.

The truth was, I had never felt this way in my life. My mum had been lashing out the last few days, managing to make her words make me feel as insignificant as my worst fears tried to make me think I was. I didn't know what love was, I didn't know what it felt like to be loved, to love, or to love myself.

It felt like I had a hole drilled in my heart. A place that needed to be filled with something. Someone. There were two holes actually. One for someone else and one for myself. My mum's words were getting to me no matter what I thought. She was making me feel this way. A way that made me feel like I could never be truly loved. That I didn't really matter.

James's words made me feel all the better.

I opened my mouth to say something but Maurice walked up with our desserts.

I quickly turned away and dried my eyes with a napkin.

"Thank you," I told Maurice.

James and I quickly finished our chocolate cheesecake with raspberry puree and left.

"Want to walk back?" James asked. I nodded and grabbed my cloak from off the back of my chair.

We exited the door and stepped out into the street. James grabbed my hand again and I didn't reject it. We walked the first several blocks in silence but then James spoke up.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I let out a quiet breath of air.

"Yes. I'm fine," I said, reassuringly. He stopped and cupped my face in his hands inspecting me, looking me straight in the eyes. My breath caught.

"Are you sure?" he said, very concerned. I almost wanted to give him the real answer.

"Positive," I said, with a short smile. He kept inspecting my face, trying to find some sort of clue as to what was happening in my brain. My heart wanted to surge from his concernedness, but I didn't let it. After a few moments, he sighed and kissed the top of my head.

"Alright. I trust you," he said, looking into my eyes one more time, before turning and taking my hand again. "Just promise me you'll let me know if you need someone to talk to," he begged.

"I promise," I said with a smile that I didn't feel in my heart.


	50. (TW) Love and War

** TRIGGER WARNING **

_(Physical)(4)_

_Iris is beaten. Induces broken finger, bruising, and some blood. Half-fixed by spells._

* * *

_(Seven Years Prior)_

_Iris had now been going to her weekly workouts with Jeremy for about a month now. He had taught her so much in so little time, but Iris was a fast learner. She had to be, in her situation._

_She had yet to use her newfound skills, however. Her mother had been pretty calm for the last few weeks. Iris, of course, had been cooking, cleaning, shopping, and doing generally everything. Iris' mother, of course, was in the middle of her transition from verbal abuse to physical abuse._

_She was small for her age, but the fire in her eyes was comparable to those of a retired war veteran. Tired, but still alive. She still had a fight in her._

_Iris had just gotten back from grocery shopping. She knew the money her mother had inherited wouldn't last as long as she would need, so she used it savvily. She had only gotten bread, potatoes, carrots, celery, broth, onions, and butter. She would be able to make a large batch of soup that could last them a week._

_She had already stockpiled a few large containers of oatmeal that would be sure to last them at least a month. Iris wished she knew how to garden. Her mother's old greenhouse had died two years ago, along with her mother's sanity. And her father. She could learn by reading books, but there was only so much time._

_Iris was in the process of putting away the food she had bought when her mother wandered into the room._

_A wisp of a thing, Freya looked barely alive. Perhaps a bit more opaque than a ghost, with a few faded colours in her cheeks, but she was unhealthy; that much was obvious. Her eyes were her usual, I'm-not-really-here-mentally grey, Iris looked up, exhausted._

_"Hello, mum," she managed to say with as much cheer as possible when you're looking at your prison keeper. Her mother simply hummed something noncommittal and quiet, her face devoid of emotion. Unreadable._

_Iris sighed and continued putting away the food. It did not take long._

_However, not long was just enough time for Freya to grasp what terrible conscious she had left in her. When Iris turned around to face her mother yet again. At first, she didn't notice._

_At least, she didn't until Freya lashed out and grabbed her shoulder like an eagle snatching her prey. Her unkempt nails dug into Iris' tender flesh and she gritted her teeth. That's when she finally noticed._

_Her mother's eyes were green._

_How unfortunate._

_Iris waited with bated breath to see what her mother would do. She looked at the ground, trying not to provoke her. Freya did not need provoking. She grabbed her daughter's chin and lifted. Iris refused to look her in the eyes. Her mother hissed softly and before Iris could do anything, slapped her with all her force._

_Iris fell to the ground, in a daze. She rubbed the place when her mother's hand had hit. Prickles of tears embedded themselves in her eyes, as she blinked, still fazed._

_Her mother grabbed her arm again and dragged her up from the ground. The sharp stabbing of her nails brought Iris to her senses. At once, her mind rushed with all Jeremy had taught her. She took a deep breath and waited for her mother's next move._

_She didn't have to wait long._

_Freya dragged her daughter most painfully by her arm to the sitting room. Iris dragged her heels. Not desperately, no, but with the intent of buying herself time. Every action she used now was tactical, useful in the face of danger. She knew what she was doing. At least, she hoped so._

_Freya had her where she wanted. In a clear space where she could inflict the most damage. She reached for Iris' hair, to get a grip on, to hold her in place, but Iris dodged her hand and wrenched herself free from her grasp._

_With both arms free and away from her mother, Iris could now block. Her mother's eyes, however, were now a fiery green. Perhaps the most awake Iris had seen for a very, very long time._

_Freya made a move to hit her again, but Iris managed to block with her forearm. She did this again and again until she knew she would have bruises for weeks to come. Freya seemed to come to the realization that she wasn't inflicting as much pain as she wanted to. How unfortunate for her._

_She had taken a new tactic. Beating Iris down until she was tired._

_It didn't take much to get a nine-year-old tired. But even when Freya had her by the painful roots of her hair, Iris didn't stop struggling. Not when her mother scratched the side of her face, from her nose to her ear. Not when she punched her so many times she couldn't breathe. Not when the very clothes she was wearing were torn and half scattered across the room._

_Iris kept fighting. Her blood and tears and sweat mixed into a potion only made by those who were in the worst of situations._

_There came a point where Freya became tired. Her iron grip on Iris' hair loosened and instead of Iris' toes barely touching the ground, scrabbling for traction, her feet were almost firmly planted on the ground._

_At that point, Iris used her advantage._

_She punched her mother in the face._

_Now, Iris' being nine, and basically untrained, this did not inflict much damage. It only induced shock, and just enough it seemed, to shock Freya into her grey-eyed state. She dropped Iris and made her way back to her bedroom._

_Iris sank to the ground, cradling her poor hand. The punch had gone awry, and Iris gazed at her poor, twisted, almost certainly broken, pinky finger._

_Sometimes the worst pains are the ones inflicted on yourself. Iris bit her lip, attempting to keep her tears at bay. This did not work. With racking sobs, Iris stumbled to her own bedroom and grabbed her dead father's wand from her dresser. With murmured words and prayers, Iris's broken pinky finger twisted back into the correct position._

_Iris let out a whimper and then a scream when it popped back into place. The tears began to fall in double succession. Saying a very bad word her mother had once told her never to say, Iris ran her hand under cold, cold water, numbing the pain._

_Once she could no longer feel her hand, Iris pulled out he wand again and began to murmur the weak spells she had learned from the library books._

_Her injuries did not heal completely, but they were better. The terrible shadows of her bruises were all that were left and a very faint scar of the scratch from her nose to her ear remained._

_As Iris looked at herself in the mirror, she forced herself to stop crying. After a few moments, the tears stopped. Iris washed her face and then started on dinner. It wouldn't make itself after all._

_Only once in a while, there comes a time in most everyone's life where something happens that they feel that cannot do anything about to change. Nothing they can do. It's out of their hands. Sure, it's unfair, but there's nothing to be done. In most instances, these kinds of situation come when one is much older, more responsible, and supposedly more mature and handling more mature situations._

_Iris had already felt the pangs of these awful situations. Her whole life was a miss-match, a terribly done quilt of these situations._

_There was nothing she could do. It was awful, but there was simply nothing for it._

_There's a phrase. "All's fair in love and war."_

_Iris knew this phrase from something or another. Perhaps a book. Who knows._

_The earliest mention of this phrase is in John Lyly's novel "Euphues: The Anatomy of Wit," published in 1579. In this novel, it seems to justify the use of cheating. It had many other definitions, but this seems the most frequently used._

_Iris took a different definition of this phrase._

_It was like a game of tug-of-war. In her brain, there were two sides. The side that loved her mother. That knew she was insane, that none of this abuse was her fault. At least not technically. Then there was the other side. The side that told her that the green eyes meant she knew exactly what she was doing. What pain she was causing. This side of her brain just wanted to run away and never look back._

_Love. War._

_The two terrible sides of Iris' brain. One could not exist without the other._

_In her older years, the two sides of her brain would conflict over an entirely different struggled. Something to have to do with a boy._

_But that is irrelevant._

_I tell you this, I explain to you these two sides of Iris' brain to explain to you the struggle of a child who lives in these situations._

_You might struggle with the idea of Iris staying. Her caring for her mother even as she hits her. Hurts her. You don't understand the struggled. The mental insanity caused by two sides of the same problem._

_It wasn't just the fact that without her mum, Iris' wouldn't have any money, nor any resources. It wasn't the fact that she didn't want to go live in an orphanage. It wasn't anything to do with money, or power, or simply a house to live in._

_It was because she still loved her._

_It's the plain, awful truth._

_We never plan these things. No one can. But Iris loved her mother._

_A girl who had only experienced love for the first six years of her life, when she couldn't even comprehend what it was, loved her mum._

_The woman who abused her. Bruised her. Made her bleed and cry._

_She loved her._

_It was terrible. A terrible, terrible misfortune to have._

_But as the phrase goes;_

_All's fair in love and war._


	51. Like Hell

I was exhausted. Nothing was changing and it all seemed to be happening all at once. There was no time for breaks. was currently working at the Three Broomsticks. It was a Saturday, so it was packed.

Sarah was working with me today as well as a new girl I hadn't yet met.

"Number 4 with chips!" I yelled out to Jake in the kitchen. He gave me a thumbs up. I re-filled the pitcher I had been holding for the past hour with butterbeer and began my rounds around the tables, refilling everyone's cups. A table hailed me and I ran back behind the counter to get another squeeze bottle with ketchup and delivered it.

Just fifteen more minutes until I was done for the day...

Someone ordered a brownie ice cream sundae. I quickly complied. I jumped behind the counter and made the fastest sundae of my life. I delivered it with my Waitress Smile™ and checked my watch. Just five more minutes and I could leave this sweat-inducing terror of a room.

Just then, a drunk man passed out on the bar. A steady stream of curses and swears sourced through my brain as I assisted one of the male waiters in getting him out of the disgustingly hot room and outside on a bench. After that ordeal, my break had been going on without me for two minutes.

I sprinted to the kitchen, hung up my apron and hastily checked the box next to my name. I grabbed my lunch from Jake, raced out the double doors, and breathed a deep breath of fresh air. Thank Merlin.

I made my way through the dark streets of Hogsmeade to the table I always sat at. It was a picnic table with a shade umbrella just outside Dominic Maestro's Music Shop. As I drew nearer, I saw that there was someone sitting there. Odd for nine o'clock at night, but I shrugged it off. I was about to turn around and find somewhere else to eat my dinner when he looked up.

_Oh._ Was all I thought before I sat down next to him. Regulus looked up at me surprised.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" I asked him. He slowly shook his head. I smiled and began eating. Jake had given me my usual; a ham-cheese-lettuce-tomato sandwich with chips and a pumpkin fizz.

"So, what's with you?" I asked Regulus in an attempt to start a conversation. He shrugged. Noncommittally.

"Not much. Sirius and mum were arguing again today so I felt the need to leave for a bit," he said. I nodded.

"Do you come here often?" I asked him.

"Not usually, but lately I've been coming here every Saturday night just because that's when things get a little crazy at my house," Regulus grimaced.

"We should meet up more then. I work at the Three Broomsticks from 5:00 to 9:00 Monday to Saturday and on Sundays I work all day," I told him. He raised an alarmed eyebrow.

"And you're doing this _and_ your ministry job?" he asked, shocked.

"Yeah," I said, shrugging. "It's not as bad as it sounds."

"Still. That's a lot of work," he said, shaking his head.

"Well, I need the money," I said gravely. He shot me a look but I refused to meet his eyes.

"Do you need money?" he asked, concerned.

"Like a fish needs water," I said, honestly. "But I don't need any from you. I can make it on my own, thanks." I smiled, but Regulus didn't look convinced. "Anyway," I said, changing the subject, "What're you up to?"

Regulus did not seem keen on the change of subject but allowed it. He shrugged.

"Not much. Mum's happy with me because I'm thinking about joining—" He stopped mid-sentence, staring at something on my cheek.

"What?" I asked him. "What is it? Do I have food on my face?" He shook his head slowly, solely concentrating. He reached out his hand and gently took my chin, tilting my head so he could inspect my cheek. That's when I realized what he as looking at.

"What's that?" Regulus asked as I jerked my face away.

"It's nothing," I said, all too quickly.

"Like hell. What is that?" Regulus asked harshly, nodding to the side of my face where I knew a cut was. From my dear mum of course.

"I told you, it's nothing. It's probably from when I tripped onto a chair yesterday," I lied, unconvincingly.

"No, it's not. I've seen too many things like this. Who is doing this to you?"

"Where have you seen abuse marks?" I asked, furrowing my brows, too late discovering my mistake.

"So you admit you're being abused," Regulus folded his arms, with an eyebrow raised.

"It's not what you think," I said quickly.

"Then what is it? Tell me," he said, consolingly. He grabbed my arm in an attempt to calm me down. I bit my lip.

"I—can we go somewhere private?" I asked, looking around. Hogsmeade was very busy today, and even though no one was near us, I didn't want _anyone_ else to hear this. Regulus nodded and we both stood.

I walked through the alleys behind all the buildings and led Regulus far, far away from town, to a beat-down field, wildflowers, yellow and purple, completely engulfing us. We could barely see the lights from Hogsmeade now. I sat down on top of a large boulder in the middle of the field and Regulus joined me, crisscrossing his legs.

And then I told him everything.

When I was done, he stared at me blankly. I was breathing raggedly. He leaned forward and wiped a tear from my face. And then, in one fell swoop, he scooped me up into a hug and let me cry.

Regulus was the first person I had ever told about everything. _Everything_. No one else knew my father was dead. No one else knew just how poor we were. No one knew about my mum's insanity, and _no one_ knew about her abuse. And perhaps the most heart-wrenching thing, no one knew how I felt.

How I wanted to stay no matter how much she hurt me.

No words I could speak would be able to fully convey my feelings about everything, and yet... Regulus seemed to understand perfectly.

It later occurred to me that perhaps he understood for the same reasons he recognized the cut as an abuse cut.

But in the moment, I was in shock. My heart and throat wrenched as I cried into Regulus's shoulder as he rubbed my back and whispered comforting words into my ear.

It felt like hours before I eased myself out of his arms.

"Sorry," I sighed, glancing at the wet mark on his robes.

"Don't be," he said, reassuringly.

"You're the first person I've ever told about this," I said. "I intend to keep it this way." Regulus nodded in that slow concentrated way of his.

"For how long?" he asked.

"Hm?" I tilted my head.

"You can't keep this secret for long, and you know it. I'm surprised Sirius hasn't by now, but he _is_ pretty oblivious," Regulus said, thoughtfully.

"I'm a master of secrets. I've kept it a secret for five years now, I reckon I could keep it up for a little longer. Maybe until she's dead," I said, bitterly.

"Hm. I don't think so. You can't keep your friends an arms-length away for so long. Especially that Potter boy." We both went silent for a while, looking up into the starts.

"Now I understand why you're in Gryffindor," Regulus said, suddenly.

"What?" I asked him.

"Well, for as long as I can remember, everyone's always wondered why you aren't in Slytherin. You're cunning, intelligent, ambitious, ruthless, resourceful, determined, basically, the exact cookie-cutter Slytherin Salazar would've loved to have in his house. Everyone always wondered why you were in Gryffindor. And now I know." He gave me a quiet smile. I smiled back, digesting the information.

"Well, that explains everything the hat told me," I grinned at him. He laughed. I began to laugh with him, and for a long time... we couldn't stop.

The next day was Sunday and while I practically begged Rosemerta to let me work, she refused, saying that if she let me she'd be breaking laws.

"You're working yourself too hard. If money is what you're worried about, I'll pay you anyway. Get some rest," she had said, caringly.

On the bright side, Regulus had started writing to me. When he discovered I didn't have an owl of my own, he sent me a package. The words "FRAGILE" were written on it in large red letters. I gently removed it from the owl's leg. His name was Bacchus as I had learned. He had sleek black and blue feathers with the most gorgeous grey eyes.

He squawked quietly as I gently opened the box. Nestled inside among bunches of hay and soft cloth was an egg, speckled green and gold. I gasped.

"Merlin's beard..." I breathed as I gently picked it up. Along with the package was a note from Regulus.

" _I thought you might like a friend_ " I grinned as I read it. I quickly began looking for a place I could keep it. Somewhere warm and soft until it hatched. I opened my top dresser drawer and placed it among the clothes I basically never wore.

I then hurried to my desk and scribbled out a hasty note.

_Dear Regulus,_

_THANK YOU, you have no idea how much this means to me. I'm so excited. Thank you. Please keep writing me by the way, it's nice being able to talk about this freely for once, and I'm glad you're my friend._

I grabbed another piece of parchment and scribbled a slightly neater note.

_Dear Moony,_

_Do you have any books on how to raise owls from an egg lying around? I'm gonna need a few._

I tied both to the leg of Bacchus and he flew off into the night. Regulus was the kind of person you never plan to be friends with. He was quiet, kept to himself, and was confusing motive-wise. but he was a good listener. I had never had a good listener for a friend, except maybe Remus. I would've told Remus about my life before now, except... he was just too caring. This was something I needed to handle on my own.

I checked my clock. It was near afternoon. I stretched and made my way to the kitchen. I needed to make me and my mum lunch.

I was too lazy to make anything else, so I just stacked together a couple of sandwiches and cut up a few apples. I put these on two plates and made my way to my mother's room. I knocked once and then stepped in. All the lights were off per usual. My mum was sitting up in her bed but looked my way as I walked in and set the plate on her lap.

"Where have you been? You haven't been home all week," she croaked out.

"I've been working, mum," I said, smiling sadly.

"Why have you been working?" she said, slowly. I shook my head sadly.

"Because we're poor," I said, bluntly. She frowned at her apples.

"That can't be right. What happened to your father's money?" she said. I sighed. I couldn't count how many times we'd had this conversation. She seemed to forget the fact that we had no money.

"It's been used up. Groceries, school supplies, taxes, fees, everything that requires money to pay for it," I said, eating an apple slice.

"You look like hell." My mum reached up her hand and brushed my cheek with her hand. "What's this cut?" I swallowed hard.

"Oh. I tripped and hit a chair," I lied, remembering when she had scratched me. She pursed her lips but looked down at her food. She began to eat slowly.

I gazed at her for a moment, but then stood to eat my food at the table. She grabbed my wrist. Tensing, I looked back at her.

"Eat with me, will you? I hardly see you anymore." Her eyes looked so caring. I swallowed hard, choking up.

"Okay," I managed.

We ate together. And the whole time her hand rubbed mine.

When we finished I took her plate and returned to the kitchen and washed them quickly, making my way back to my bedroom. When I got there, I stared up at the ceiling.

What on earth was that? My mum was never like that. Never. Not since my father had died.

It seemed my mum was as complicated as me. I had always known she was insane. All the doctors had told me so. I had seen her first two personalities too many times to count. Her unaware, unseeing personality where she never spoke, never acknowledged me, and then her completely aware, harsh, painful personality. The one that hurt me and made me feel inferior.

I could count on one hand the times she had actually been aware of me and actually caring for me.

I dared not get my hopes up. There was no way she was ever going to get better. Never. I felt a tear run down my cheek, but it was the only one.

Sometimes, there are things you just can't fix.

I shook my head and stood up, wiping away the one tear. I hadn't cared for the garden in a long while. I grabbed my gloves and ran outside to the greenhouse. It looked much better than it had at the start of the summer. I smiled and let the sunshine play across my face.

Time to get to work.


	52. The Unfortunately Unfortunate

_(Five Years Prior)_

_Iris was turning eleven. A steady routine had kept her in shape, physically and mentally. Money was not yet short but tempers were. Iris had experienced quite a bit of development since she was nine. You could see it in her eyes. Though she had only grown two years, she looked much older. She acted much older._

_Maybe it was the constant assurances of her mother that she was a good-for-nothing child or perhaps just the amount of responsibility that had been added to her conscience to carry with her wherever she went._

_In any case, she didn't look eleven. In fact, she could've passed for a young-faced fourteen-year-old._

_Iris almost didn't know her real age. She'd stopped celebrating her birthday years ago, and yet she always knew when it was so she could add up her age. She had wanted to go to Hogwarts her entire life, but now, with the turn of age, she couldn't help but get her hopes up._

_But there was no way. Simply no way. The books and tools were too expensive. Sure, she already had a wand. A cherished beechwood and thestral tail hair from her dead father, but the books and robes and cauldrons and parchment and quills and ink and hats and potions supplies, it was all too much. All too expensive._

_Iris had already sent a letter to her father's parents, the rich pure-blood side of the family, but to no avail. He had lost their inheritance and any support from them when he married a muggleborn._

_Her mother's side of the family wasn't much help either. Both her parents were dead, both of natural causes, and her siblings didn't make enough money to hand over anything substantial. Of course, being muggles, they sent only around a hundred pounds, which Iris quickly gave to Gringotts bank to change into wizarding money, but it wasn't much help._

_Going to Hogwarts just wasn't an option, but as Iris sat down to her dinner and a cookie (her birthday treat) she couldn't help but hope._

_It was August seventeenth. In other words, Iris' not-so-fun birthday. She didn't celebrate it much, except for a cookie which is what she was doing now. Her mum had already gone to sleep, leaving Iris in a state of forlorn. She ate her cookie in agonizingly slow bites. It wasn't a very good cookie, just one from the pound shop a couple blocks away from the grocers, but it had chocolate, so that was that._

_The one thing on Iris' mind was Hogwarts. Was there any way she could go? Any way at all? Iris knew that sometimes schools helped pay for their attendance if they were academically gifted enough, but was she academically gifted enough? Sure, she had been reading since the age of four to make up for not going to pre-school or elementary school, but magic-wise? Iris had no idea._

_She had been doing magic since the age of six, but almost none of the spells she used had incantations, she just sort of knew what to do to get things to do what she wanted. The only proper spells she had learned were the ones from the magical books from her father's old office, and she had no way to measure exactly how difficult those spells were, she just practised until she could do it non-verbally._

_Basically, all the spells she performed were non-verbal. If her mother saw her whispering something under her breath, it was sure to provoke her._

_She reached into her pocket, pulling out the letter she had read over and over again. On it was her name, her bedroom, and her address, and one other thing._

_The Hogwarts emblem._

_A purple wax seal, with a shield and four animals, was stamped in it. A lion, a snake, a badger, and an eagle._

_Iris fought back tears as she opened it and read;_

HOGWARTS SCHOOL _of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,  
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)_

Dear Ms I. Brooks

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

_It had arrived the first of July. Iris was an August child, so that meant she would be younger than almost all of her classmates. She, of course, was fine with this. She made up for it with her unquestionable maturity. Not that it mattered._

_She had already sent the reply letter ages ago, pretending to be her mother. She had made some excuse up that "Iris wasn't ready for school yet. Her being so young, I've decided to homeschool her for at least a year before she can go to Hogwarts", or something to that effect._

_McGonagall replied back, saying yes it was alright, and yes it would be possible for her to transfer if she decided to come in her second year._

_She wouldn't be able to. Iris already knew it and it depressed her to no end._

_Deciding the cookie wouldn't' be enough, Iris decided to drown her sorrows in ice cream. She grabbed a small pint from the freezer and grabbed a spoon, heading out the front door. She watched the stars as they fiddled about in the sky. Iris had thought relentlessly if there was a way to go._

_Even if Iris had enough money, there was nothing she could do about her mother. No one knew she was insane, no one had diagnosed her. She couldn't very well leave her home for nine months. Who would buy food? Who would care for her if she got sick?_

_There was simply no solution. She angrily stabbed her spoon into the frozen block and bent her spoon. She sighed and took out her wand. She carefully waved it and it silently bent back to its normal shape._

_She took a more careful bite and sighed again. A cool breeze rose past._

_The night was silent._


	53. One Decrepit Quill

The egg had taken up most of my time. I very excited, wondering what breed of owl Regulus had gotten me, but no matter how many letters I sent, begging him to tell me, he wouldn't relent.

Meanwhile, I had acquired several books on the raising of eggs. I had to keep it warm and in a place that was soft and didn't jiggle, so I removed all my clothes from the drawer, except for the clothes that were securing the egg, and moved them to different drawers. I also placed a permanent heating spell on the drawer so it would be consistently warm.

Apparently, owl eggs take about thirty to thirty-one days to hatch and Regulus told me that when he had gotten it, the shopkeeper had told him it had been laid about a week previously, which meant I was now down to about twenty-three-ish days until it hatched.

I still went to work, obviously, but as soon as I got back from the ministry, I sprinted to my room just to check it. I didn't have to, I knew I had cast the spell correctly and that I still have several weeks before it hatched, but I still wanted to check on it. I couldn't help it.

Harold had asked me what had me so distracted.

"Oh, I just have an owl egg at home and I can't help but worry about it. Don't worry, It doesn't hatch for another three weeks at least, but you know. I'm excited."

We had kept the conversation up for a while until someone knocked on his door and informed us that an emergency meeting had been called because some law in Arabia had changed and the Minister for Magic needed to make a statement.

I had grabbed a quill and parchment and followed Harold out the door, sprinting to the lift as the boy explained everything in detail.

"Iris, can you copy what I'm saying quickly?" he asked.

"Certainly," I said, pointing my quill to the paper.

"It's a good thing, I support it. Saghir al-Tabatabai in his decision, this will not affect us very much. We have similar laws, trade is a complicated business and sometimes changes need to be made, but he did it well and I support him on it. Got all that?" he said all this very jumbled. I was sued to it, it was how he wrote his speeches. He just needed several key points and he improvised the rest.

"Ye.....eees," I dragged out, finishing the last sentence. I handed him the parchment. He looked it over quickly, nodded, and pursed his lips.

The was all he had time for. We quickly reached the atrium floor, where it was jam-packed with people, reporters, and floating quick-quotes-quills. There were also several photographers, especially near the front. When everyone saw us, a mass of people moved toward us, reporters, people wanting autographs, photographers and videographers alike. Several bodyguards joined our side, having waited just outside the lift for us.

If Harold was at all flustered from all the hubbub and the quick briefing of a situation people would be looking to him for answers, he didn't show it.

I had been in situations like this many times and was startled to discover that I was growing used to it. People buffeted me on all sides, and yet I managed to keep up with the bodyguards and the minister. I was surprised as a reporter waved a microphone in front of my face.

"Ms Brooks! Ms Brooks! We all saw how you handled the Imperious Curse meeting, how do you feel about Saghir al-Tabatabai's decision about magic carpet trading? Or about magical ointments being sold to muggles?"

I was too startled to respond and I quickly caught up to Harold's side. He grinned down at me, not able to speak from the noise. We soon reached the podium from which Harold would be speaking. I was seated in a chair off to the side, taking notes next to yet another quick-quotes-quill and a member of the International Magical Trading Standards Body from the Department of International Magical Cooperation.

A quickly as it had come, the hubbub reduced to a hush. Harold stood at the podium, a mass of at least twelve microphones in front of his face. He raised his hands even though everyone was watching him silently. He began to speak.

"Before I go into full detail, I want to make it clear to the congregation and the people of this nation, that I support Saghir al-Tabatabai and his government in both his decisions in both the trade and selling of flying carpets, as well as his decisions regarding magical ointments and potions being open to muggles." A general buzz began in the crowd and again Harold raised his arms for silence. "Firstly, the flying carpet situation..."

I was quickly scribbling down notes about how he was gesturing and speaking to the crowd, as well as the most solid points he made and several other important things, such as the number of people in the crowd, the crowd's attentiveness and things Harold repeated to make a point.

"Secondly, and perhaps most controversially, the new law regarding potions and ointments available to muggles. As the new law states, they are allowing wizards to start into the medical business, something that never really been done before. The law allows these wizard healers to make and sell ointments and other magical substances to patients, regardless of whether or not they are wizards. This, quite obviously, has caused some alarm." He looked out into the crowd, surveying them, as though assuring them he was on their side too. "I am on Saghir al-Tabatabai's side. Mostly because of the other law that does not allow these wizard healers to tell the muggles anything, but also because it does not allow spells. Some people may not agree with me on this..."

I was taking furious notes, writing down all his points. He continued on.

"But I believe if we have the power to make other people's lives, including muggles', better, than we ought to take that power and use it." He paused for effect. "I will now take questions."

The room immediately alighted with noise.

"Minister! Minister!" Harold pointed at the harried reporter. "Are you in the process of making a law similar to that of the ointment law?" Harold shook his head.

"No. Not at the moment. Though I support Saghir al-Tabatabai in his decision, I also believe it takes a great deal of organization and we're also dealing with plenty of other complexities right now, so I will not be any time soon. Next!" He pointed at another reporter.

"Do you think that Saghir al-Tabatabai's law on magic carpets will affect trade with brooms?" A blonde, frazzled reporter asked. Again Harold shook his head.

"No. Magic carpets and brooms are on an entirely different scape of law. We can all admit that we as a society, are not very good at keeping these secrets," he chuckled a bit. "Muggles have known about these since they were invented, although probably none of them believes these to be real, we still need to be careful. As we all know the flying carpet or magic carpet trade has grown complex, especially because it is easy for muggles to mistake them for simple rugs, which where it grew more complicated, but no. Trade on broomsticks will stay the same."

He continued taking questions for several more minutes, me jotting down the questions and his answers until it was time for the man from the Department of International Magical Cooperation to speak. Harold took his seat beside me.

"How'd I do?" he asked, grinning. I rolled my eyes.

"Perfect. I've got all the notes," there was a lull in conversation as the other man spoke and took questions. "Oh! I wanted to tell you. As we were coming up here from the lift, a reporter asked me a couple questions as though I'm a politician," I tried to laugh, but it came out more of a grimacing, worried noise.

He laughed.

"Oh, yes. I've been meaning to tell you. Or to warn you, really." I looked at him, slightly worried. "You've become a bit of a celebrity in the political world since that newspaper published the story about you." He said this all calmly as if I had nothing to worry about.

"What? Should I be worried?" I asked already worried. He laughed.

"No, no. I just think I'm going to need to give you a briefing on things like this before they happen so that you can answer questions reporters throw at you," he said that calmly. How could he say that _calmly_?

"You think I should answer questions? But that's... I mean that's _your_ job!" I was blinking, looking out into the crowd, just now realizing how many more pictures were being taken of Harold now that he was sitting beside me. Two important people in one picture. How perfect for the reporters.

"Well, you understand that Junior Assistant to the Minister is a fairly new job. No one really knows what they do. Now that you've made a name for yourself, though small, people are curious. It's a given. It's also especially interesting to normal people, people who aren't in politics, seeing it explained to them from a young voice. A sixteen-year-old. Although I guess you were fifteen at the time. Your birthday was about a week ago, yes?"

I thought back to the not-so-happy occasion. My mum had gone to bed early and I celebrated with a pint of ice cream. Alone. I nodded.

"People are interested to see young people in politics. It makes it more relatable to other people. Just don't over-think it. It's really not that big of a deal," he smiled at me and we watched and listened to the man speaking. A few minutes later, he leaned down to whisper. "This also means I'm giving you permission to speak to reporters, just be careful. You've picked up enough that I think you know what I mean."

I did. I didn't like it though. Politics wasn't really something I had ever imagined myself getting into, yet here I was.

At last, the meeting ended and we made our way back to the lift and back up to the first floor.

I quickly copied the notes I had taken, sent one to the Daily Prophet and put the other copy in the filing cabinet in Harold Minchum's office. I checked the clock. It was nearing four O'clock. I finished up, bit Harold a good day and took the lift to the atrium so that I could floo home.

The atrium was as jam-packed as usual. As soon as the meeting had finished, everything had returned to normal. Ministry workers were bustling about everywhere, carrying enormous stacks of paper and rushing about with wands out, muttering about something or other.

I quickly made my way to the lines for the floo chimneys. As I waited in line, I thought I heard a voice calling my name. I turned around and didn't see anyone, so I turned back, assuming I had misheard someone.

"Iris! Iris!" I heard the voice again. I turned once more and spotted a young girl, hair a startling purple and braided into a large number of long thin braids that reached her waist, bags flying about, practically sprinting toward me. "Iris Brooks!" she called, once more. I stepped out of line and she rushed over to me, causing my hair to flutter. "Hi! Sorry," she said, catching her breath. She couldn't have been much older than me. Eighteen or Nineteen by the looks of it. Her skin was supple chocolate colour and her eyes sparkled under the large skylights above us. Her excitement was contagious.

She wore a mustard yellow crop-top with some obscure band name on it and torn black jeans, revealing fishnets underneath. She also had, as I was delighted to see, ankle-high converse the same colour as her hair. She had a large satchel over her shoulder and was holding a crumpled piece of parchment and a decrepit quill almost snapped in half.

"Hi! My name is Osumare, I'm a reporter, and I was wondering if you'd like to do an interview with me." She said all this very fast.

"I— about what?" I asked.

"Oh, just some stuff about politics," she said, not clarifying anything.

"Why me?" I asked. She laughed, then realized I was serious.

"You're at the right hand of the Minister for Magic, everyone wants to get the scoop on who you are, and your opinions, and how you got your job. Everything!" she said, happily.

For something I really didn't want to do, she sure made it seem fun.

"Well, um... tell you what. I'm on my way to the Three Broomsticks because I work there too, but if you show up sometime between five to nine, I'm sure I can find time to sit down with you." I watched her quill quickly rove across the page. She was already taking notes.

"Great! Can't wait!" and then she disappeared just as quickly as she came. I blinked.

I rejoined the now shortened line and got home in a swirl of soot. I changed and flooed to the Three Broomsticks where Madame Rosmerta was roving around the tables, greeting people and chatting. I quickly made my way to her and asked her if I could possibly have my coffee break lengthened.

"Oh, darling. When she shows up, you take off that apron and take as long as you need." She smiled and I thanked her.

I did my job to the best of my ability as I waited for the young reporter. Less than an hour had passed when the mass of purple braids entered the vicinity and waved to me. I waved back and quickly rushed to the back, untying my apron.

"Where you going, Iris?" one of the cook boys asked.

"I have an interview," I said, calmer than I felt.

"An interview? Why?" All the cooks were listening now.

"Well, I told you I'm also working another job as the Junior Assistant to the Minister for Magic, and um... well she wanted to interview me. I don't know much more than you do." I shrugged.

"Good luck!" the boys called behind me.

"Thanks!" I called back. I made my way to Osumare's table. She grinned and pushed away a pile of papers and took out a muggle recording device and clicked play. I gazed at it. She noticed my interest.

"Oh, I like using this because it's less annoying than a quick-quotes-quill and I like talking without taking notes. So, shall we start?" She asked. I nodded.

"Alright. I'm ready as I'll ever be," I said, with as much courage as I could muster.

_Don't mess this up._


	54. A Residential Healer

_(Five years prior)_

_Freya was sick again. Iris was making the trip to St Mungo's to get her mother medicine. She walked her way to the closed Purge and Dowse Department store, with the ugly, broken, old-fashioned dummy in the front window._

_Iris looked up at the dummy and quite clearly said;_

_"I'm here to get some medicine." For a split second, nothing happened. Then, the dummy's head tilted and nodded. Iris gave a small smile and stepped right through the glass. It felt like cool water sliding across her body, but when she re-emerged on the other side, she was completely dry._

_The hospital was bustling with people, some obviously injured or cursed. Some people had transfigured parts of their body and one was loping around with an elephant trunk for a nose. A great deal of noises shoved their way through the air and hit Iris's ears like a freight train, yet she didn't flinch. She'd been here before; she was used to it._

_She jumped in line for the healer at the front desk who was directing people and giving people information. In a matter of minutes, Iris was at the front of the line._

_"What can I help you with?" The receptionist asked, peering down her nose at Iris. Iris wasn't phased. She drew herself up and addressed the woman in her oldest-sounding voice._

_"I need an Endovate potion for my mum. She's sick." Iris said, smartly. The healer looked at her again, trying to suss out a lie. She didn't seem to find one, so she directed her to the second floor, the floor for magical bugs and diseases. Iris signed the paper the healer held out for her as a sign-in sheet and made her way up._

_She quickly found the section she needed, the pharmacy._

_There, she found a plump, kind looking woman with pink-blonde hair._

_"What do you need, honey?" the healer asked._

_"I need to pick up some Endovate potion for my mother," Iris explained._

_"Do you now? Let me find some," the healer reached behind her, sorting through several long shelves filled with potions and boxes. "Who's watching her now?" the healer asked._

_"My aunt Gertrude," Iris lied. "My mum is sick all the time, so she moved in with us to care for her." It was a carefully crafted lie, one she had told many many people, many many times. The healer handed her the potion and looked at her._

_"That must be difficult. Has your aunt ever thought of getting a residential healer?" She said easily, pointing at a poster on the wall advertising residential healers. It had a witch on the front, sporting the symbol for St Mungo's, a wand and a bone crossed, on the lapel of her uniform. She wore a cheesy grin and below her were the words "Request on today! You just might qualify!"_

_"A what?" Iris asked, curiously._

_"A residential healer. They come to your house and depending on the circumstance, they can either live there or visit every day at certain times. It's very useful for families who have jobs and go to school. They're not extremely expensive. Would you like a pamphlet to take to your aunt?" the healer asked._

_Iris nodded, rapidly, her mind confuddled at what this could mean. She took the thick envelope containing a form for getting a residential healer and a pamphlet explaining the things a residential could do. She hurried home, administered the medicine to her mother and sat down at the table, a pen in hand. The form was very complex._

Residential Healer Form

Name: 

Name of patient: 

Gender of patient: 

Health concerns/details:

Guardian Signature:

Signature of patient:

Requests:

Details:

_It listed several situations where a residential healer would be needed and asked Iris to check mark which ones applied. Nearly all of them did._

_Iris's mind swam. This was her way out, this is how she could go to Hogwarts. A healer could live at her house for nine months a year and Iris could go to school. It was perfect. Foolproof. The only problem was money. After iris had finished filling out the form, she took out a blank sheet of parchment and addressed it to Minerva McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore._

_In it, she (pretending to be her mother) explained the problem with money and if it would be possible for Iris to go to the school the next year, as a second year at age twelve. She also included details of all the spells she had learned pretending that Freya was writing it, explaining all she had homeschooled Iris in._

_She sent it off from Diagon Alley from the owl postal office there. An hour later, she received a reply from a grey, tawny-feathered owl, who clicked its beak as Iris untied the letter with shaking fingers._

_Yes, it would be possible for her to go to school. The school had a fund for children who were poor but had a very promising future. It would cover all the expenses of the supplies she would need, plus more for transportation if necessary, and extra just in case something arose that was problematic. McGonagall explained that the spells Iris knew where much more advanced than a first year or a second year._

_"In fact," she had written, "perhaps more advanced than a fifth year. You said she knows how to cast spells nonverbally? We would be insane not to let her in."_

_Dumbledore had approved everything said by McGonagall and even added that he was delighted to have Iris joining the school._

_So it was set. Iris had also sent the thick folder containing all the information about her mother to St Mungo's and had received a confirmation letter stating that she qualified to have one. Iris was able to pay for it because she wasn't paying for Hogwarts. It all worked out. In five months, the healer would arrive, Iris would leave, and begin her second year at Hogwarts._

_She was the happiest eleven-year-old in the world._


	55. The Interview

"So. First, tell me a bit about yourself, anything you want people to know about you," Osumare smiled at me. I sat back, thinking. "Take your time." She grinned. I thought.

"Well... Hello, my name is Iris Brooks, I'm sixteen and I'm going into my sixth year at Hogwarts. I am a Gryffindor if that's of any interest to anyone. I currently work two jobs, one as Junior Assistant to the Minister and one as a waitress at the Three Broomsticks." I shrugged raising an eyebrow at her.

"Elaborate. The hardest thing about being a journalist in conveying personality without you actually being there. Tell me more," she said, encouragingly.

"Er... I love reading. The last book I read was Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. I love chocolate and I'm a chaser for the Gryffindor quidditch team. I also box," I said after a great deal of thought.

"Great!" Osumare said. "So, tell me, why do you work two jobs?"

Did I really want to tell the entire wizarding populous that my father was dead and my mother was insane? No. So what did I say?

"My mother and father are very particular about understanding different cultures and are very open to new opportunities. My mother is a muggle-born and my father is a wizard and they both find that understanding both cultures is imperative for just understanding life around us and they find that getting a job early in life is beneficial to understanding how things work." Osumare grinned at me.

"Good answer. How did you get your job at the ministry?" She asked, placing her chin in her hands.

"My father was really good friends with Harold before he was the minister when he worked as an auror, so when we heard he was looking for someone I went in for the interview and Harold contacted me maybe a month later telling me I had gotten the job," I said.

"So, you work two jobs. How is that going to work with school?" Osumare asked, glancing down at her questions.

"I'm not entirely sure yet. I might have to quit my job here and continue my work at the ministry after school hours or during my breaks and on weekends. I'll figure it out with the minister eventually," I laughed. Osumare smiled.

"Wonderful. So now on with the juicy stuff," she wiggled her eyebrows, making me laugh. "About the whole Imperious Meeting. What was running through your head as you stood in front of everyone?" I glanced at the voice recorder between us.

"Honestly? I was wondering why they were all so old. Like, surely there's some smart young people out there somewhere, right?" I gestured, perplexedly.

Osumare laughed.

"Perfect, you're getting better at this," she smiled at me. "How did you know about all those articles and laws?" she asked. I shrugged.

"I'm a nerd. Ask anyone, I've probably read every single book in my town's library. I read law books for fun. Along with newspapers, muggle books, science books, potions books, a hundred-year-old transfiguration books, anything with words in it, I will gladly read. I'm probably the biggest nerd I've ever known except maybe one of my best friends." I grinned.

"Wonderful, and you memorised all those articles from law books?"

"Yeah, basically. Or I heard it in History of Magic or something. I don't really remember, I just knew it was true," I said with another shrug.

"What exactly is your job like as Junior Assistant to the Minister?" Osumare asked, shifting the recorder more towards me.

"It's fun. Mostly I just follow the Minister around and take notes at meetings. The notes I take either go in a filing cabinet in the ministry or to the Daily Prophet and other newspapers. It doesn't sound very exciting when you explain it, but I really enjoy it," I grinned and she nodded, thoughtfully.

"To more recent events, what is your opinion about the law changes in Arabia?" she asked, watching me intently. I paused, considering my words.

"I am of the same opinion as the Minister. I support Saghir al-Tabatabai in his decisions. Talking about the magic carpet ban, I think that it makes sense. There have been plenty of accidents with magical carpets and I think it's high-time their trade has been regulated. About the potions and ointment being able to be administered to muggles, I agree with that too. We have the power to help them out. In fact, I think we could learn a thing or two from studying the illnesses plaguing the muggles. I think that as long as the statute of secrecy stays intact, this is a safe and thoughtful decision on Saghir al-Tabatabai's part. I support both these changes whole-heartedly." I said, diplomatically.

Osumare nodded.

"Great answer. Alright, well I think that concludes everything I wanted to ask you. Do you have anything else to say?" Osumare said, hand on the recording button, prepared to turn it off.

"Nope. I think that's it," I said, with a smile. Osumare smiled back and clicked off the recorder.

"Alright! Well, the article should be out in maybe a week's time or so," she said, grinning that warming smile of hers.

"Brilliant. What newspaper do you work for by the way? I don't think I asked you," I asked.

"Oh! The Daily Prophet. I work in the political section," she said, her pearly whites glinting.

"Great. Well, I really enjoyed that. Contact me if you ever need me for another one," I grinned.

"Will do," she said, mock saluting, standing from the table. "I've got to go, but it was nice talking with you." I stood too.

"Yeah, no problem," I said, shaking her hand.

"Goodbye!" she said, waving.

"Bye," I waved back. And then she was out the door and into the dark outside. I checked my watch. I had half an hour left for work. I jumped back behind the counter and put my apron back on, quickly re-filling someone's cup. My mind buzzed.

I woke up and immediately bolted to the dresser drawer. Gently pulling it open I gazed at the green and gold speckled egg. It was a strange thing. As soon as I found myself in the care of another living thing, I felt all the motherly instincts kick in. I gently picked it up and held it up to my light. Through the shell, I could see a faintly wriggling shape.

I smiled and gently put it back, nestling it among my clothes. I shut it as carefully as before and made my way to my closet to pick out my clothes.

I eventually went with a navy blue shirt and a pair of patterned dress pants, the same navy blue with palm-sized scarlet flowers dotted across the fabric. I slipped on a pair of brown leather dress shoes and grabbed my scarlet ministry robes from the top of my dresser.

I spent a little more time on my makeup that morning. I carefully gave myself winged eyeliner and put on lipstick the same colour as my robes and the flowers on my pants. I put my hair into a half up half down hairstyle with a little bun on the top of my head.

I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed a bagel from the cupboard. I lept over to the fireplace and tossed a small fistful of floo powder. I flooed to the ministry and made my way to level one. I had been thinking about the whole interview with Osumare. It was fun, but it worried me.

I didn't want to become some political celebrity, and based on what Harold and Osumare had said, I was high in demand. At least currently.

I resolved that I wouldn't do any more interviews. Unless it was Osumare, I thought decidedly. I felt I could trust her and she respected my privacy as a normal human being. I was just here to do my job and make money. I didn't much care for politics. The only reason I had applied for Junior Assistant to the Minister was because it paid well and I knew I had a chance because I knew Harold.

I certainly didn't do it to become a celebrity. And anyway, what were the chances I'd even stay relevant? People surely couldn't be _that_ interested in me. They were just intrigued because of the spectacle I had made of myself at the Imperious curse meeting.

All these thoughts were swimming about my head as I rose up in the lift. The doors dinged open and I stepped through, making my way to Harold's office to receive my daily assignments. I gently knocked on the door.

"Come in!" came his muffled voice. I stepped in and shut the door behind me.

"Good mor—" my voice fell off. James Potter was sitting in the chair in front of Harold's desk. They had been chatting. "—ning." I made myself finish, reverting to my usual casual so-not-over-thinking-this face. I walked up to his desk, ignoring James. "Do you have anything for me?" I asked Harold. He smiled humorously at my show. James was pouting behind me, I could tell. I didn't much care.

This was my job, he couldn't just barge in here and make a fool of himself and me.

"I do, I need you to deliver these paper to Sarah. You remember Sarah?" Harold asked, handing me a thick pile of papers.

"Yes," I said. Sarah worked on the fourth floor, I had delivered papers to her before. "I'll be back," I said, turning around.

"You're not even going to say hi?" James teased me, as I walked past him. I stopped and raised an eyebrow at him. I didn't say anything, but as I walked past I ruffled his hair. "Hey!" James said, indignantly. I bit my lip to keep from laughing and headed out the door, shutting it smartly behind me.

I got in the lift and as the doors closed, I breathed a sigh of relief. I felt like I had run a mile. What on earth was James doing here? Surely he wasn't getting friendly with the minister. Was he?

I quickly delivered the papers to Sarah on the fourth floor and made my way back to the first level. I stepped out of the lift yet again and back to Harold's office, praying James was gone. I couldn't have him screwing around while I was working. That could only end in disaster.

I didn't bother knocking again, I just strode in. Harold was not there. Unfortunately, James still was. I sighed, my shoulders slumping.

"Seriously?" I asked James, hands on hips. He was grinning at me. "What are you doing here?" I asked. He stood up, standing in front of me, his hands in his pockets.

"I'm just hanging out," he said, with a grin. I scoffed and moved closer, poking him in the chest.

"Just hanging out? At my job?" I said, narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms.

"Yup," he said with a smile and a tilt of his head. I glared, he grinned. "You look stunning," he said, biting his lip. I almost wanted to be exasperated, but I found it impossible.

"Thank you," I said, clippedly. "Where is the Minister?" I asked, sitting in the other chair in front of Harold's desk, I crossed my legs and began inspecting my nails. James sat in the other chair, moving it so he faced me.

"I don't know. He said he'd be back soon," James said, shrugging. I cursed under my breath. Of course. He disappeared at the most perfect time. This added with how he ditched lunch the other time James had visited, I had a high suspicion of his motives. James grinned at me, as though agreeing with my thoughts.

"You need to stop coming here. I have a job to do," I said, admonishingly. He raised his palms.

"I just miss you. Is that a crime?" he said with his devilish grin.

"It is if you do it enough times," I said, raising my eyebrow. "Ugh, where is he?" I grumbled. I stood up and opened the door, searching for him. James followed me. I searched the whole floor. Finally giving up when I reached my desk. I sat on its edge, facing James. He smiled his hands in his pockets yet again. Why was he so tall? It was so infuriating.

"How's life?" James asked.

"It was good until you showed up," I said, bitingly. James placed his hand over his heart, as though wounded.

"Funny. My life just got a whole lot better since I've seen you," James said, inching closer. He was leaning over me now. I looked up, inspecting his face. How dare he look so flawless? He leaned closer, placing his hands on either side of me. I saw him looking at my lips. I saw him. I ignored him, turning away.

"Yeah. Look, James, while I appreciate you visiting me, it's going to start interfering with my work," I said, shaking my head. James hadn't really moved.

"The Minister doesn't seem to mind," James said, with a grin.

"Well, that's because he's a..." the rest of my sentence was grumbled. "Get off my desk, Potter," I said, poking his hand. He leaned back, but looked at me, mock offended.

"Are we really back to a last name basis? That's a real shame, I thought we were becoming friends," he said with a teasing smirk.

"Oh, we're friends all right, you just want it to be more than that," I scoffed, jumping off my desk and making my way back to Harold's office.

"Really?" James said, stopping me just outside the door. He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer. "The real question is, who wants it more? Me or you?"


	56. Money Well Spent

_(Five Years Prior)_

_It was a funny thing. As September was growing steadily closer, Iris couldn't help but grow more and more excited. As soon as Minerva McGonagall sent Iris the money for the school year, Iris planned a day out to go to Diagon Alley. Along with the money came a letter stating all of the supplies she would need for the school year._

_Uniform_

_Second-year students will require:_

_Three sets of plain work robes (black)_

_One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear_

_One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)_

_One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)_

_Please note that all pupils’ clothes should carry name tags_

_Books_

_The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 2 by Miranda Goshawk_

_Intermediate Transfiguration by Emeric Switch_

_The Essential Defence Against the Dark Arts by Arsenius Jigger_

_A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot_

_Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling_

_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore_

_Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger_

_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander_

_Other Equipment_

_1 Wand_

_1 Cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)_

_1 set of glass or crystal phials_

_1 telescope_

_1 set of brass scales_

_Students may also bring an Owl OR a Cat OR a Toad_

_It was a mixture of the Second year list and a First year list. Iris of course already had a wand. Wands were always extremely expensive and she was happy that she had quite a bit of extra money because of it. Combined with the extra the school had given her for emergencies, she had maybe fifty extra galleons, which to her, was a lot._

_On the first of August, Iris set out for Diagon Alley. She knew where it was located, everyone did. The Leaky Cauldron was on a muggle street in London. Once inside, you stepped out into a small courtyard out back, where they kept the garbage cans. A couple of precise taps, and the bricks spread open, displaying the magical bustle that was Diagon Alley._

_Iris had been there before, but it was always for things like sending letters from the postal office and picking up groceries that could not be purchased at muggle convenience stores or pound shops. Now, she was here for an entirely different reason._

_A gaggle of students walked past her, chattering amiably amongst themselves. Iris swallowed. She continued on, deciding that purchasing her books first was a good idea. She made her way down the cluttered street to Flourish and Blotts. There she purchased all of her books and perused others. She regretfully didn't purchase a book called "The Social Science Behind Magic; The Invisible Repercussions" by Anaheim Jenkins._

_She also purchased a nice five-set of quills and ink well, and a long roll of parchment. All were very hefty purchases, but the bag the school had given her still jangled with money._

_After purchasing her books, she made her way to Madame Malkin's to purchase her uniform. She was measured and she purchased the cheapest student's package she could. She would have to find the dragonhide gloves somewhere else, so she headed off to the Apothecary, to find gloves. She found some and left the store, on her way to Potage's cauldron shop when she passed by another store._

_She gazed into the window, entranced. There was displayed a broom. It was a gorgeous broom, a Nimbus. Nimbus Racing Brooms had only come into the general circulation in 1967. They were a new company and had shaken up the rivalry between Cleensweep and Comet, and had quickly risen to the top from their first model, the Nimbus 1000. They were further along now, having come out with the Nimbus 1001 and people loved them._

_The window displayed their newest model; the Nimbus 1500. Iris pressed her nose against the window, enthralled in its design. Iris was a huge fan of quidditch. True, she had never been to any real games, but every Tuesday and Thursday she tuned in to Professional Quidditch on WWN, the Wizarding Wireless Network. Her favourite team was the Holyhead Harpies. The all-female team demolished the field and Iris was one of their biggest fans._

_Iris wanted a broom so badly. She had never actually played because she had never owned a broom, but inside she knew she'd be brilliant if given the chance. She glanced at the poster beside the broom, advertising it. She gulped when she saw the price tag._

_Fifty galleons was a lot. Shaking her head, Iris backed away, resolving to purchase the rest of her supplies, but the thought of owning a broom wormed its way through her thoughts. She quickly finished purchasing her scales and cauldron and vials and her telescope. She passed Eeylops Owl Emporium, but she already knew she wouldn't be able to raise an animal. It added a whole other mouth to feed, and she knew Hogwarts had owls, so she wasn't too disappointed._

_She passed by Quality Quidditch Supplies and allowed herself one more glance at the gorgeous broom in the window. She glared at it for several moments before, reaching down to check her money bag. There was still quite a bit of money in it. Not having to buy a wand certainly helped, but how much emergency money had the school provided her. Iris made her way to an empty picnic table outside Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour and dumped out her money._

_She began to count. Plenty of it was sickles and knuts, her change from her other purchases, but keeping in mind wizarding currency (twenty-nine knuts to a sickle, seventeen sickles to a galleon) Iris discovered that she had sixty-four galleons worth of money. Overjoyed, she resolved to purchase the broom._

_She went inside the store. A gruff man sat at the counter and raised an eyebrow as she entered._

_"I'd like to purchase a Nimbus 1500," she said clearly, putting on her I'm-older-than-I-look persona._

_"It's fifty galleons," the shopkeeper said, looking at her incredulously._

_"I know," she said simply, raising her own eyebrow. The man shrugged and moved to the back, finding a broom in their supply. He came back with a long, thin, box. He opened the lid to show Iris the broom. She nodded and placed the overflowing of coins onto the counter._

_The man slowly, laboriously, counted them. When he counted fifty, he nodded again and dumped the coins into the cash register, which burped after closing._

_"There ya go," the gruff man handed her the package. Iris beamed._

_"Thank you!" she said, and walked out the door, carrying her prize with her._


	57. (TW) Black Bean Soup

** TRIGGER WARNING **

_(Physical)(4)_

_Freya throws hot soup at Iris. Iris suffers first and second-degree burns. It is described, but not in an extremely graphic way._

* * *

I had started holding the egg whenever I could. It rested on my chest as I read my books. It was comforting that I was able to take care of something that wasn't myself. I liked having it with me, in my hand, just looking at it. It was a gorgeous egg, and I couldn't wait to see what kind of owlet popped out. Regulus still refused to tell me what species it was. In the meantime, I spent a lot of time with it. I kept it warm from my body heat and it brought me joy just from looking at it. I loved it.

"I would die for you," I said out loud to it. Then I laughed.

It was Sunday. One of the few days I had off. I could rest for once. Later, in the afternoon, I'd head out for the gym to meet up with Jeremy to box. I looked at my clock. _I should probably get going._ Glancing down at the green-gold egg, I carefully lifted it from my chest and closed the book, setting it beside me. I put the egg back in the drawer and I began to change.

I put on my leggings, my sports bra, my tank-top and my tennis shoes. I put my hair into a ponytail and grabbed my workout bag. In two minutes flat, I was out the door at a fast-paced jog. About twenty-five minutes later, I was outside the double doors of Amelie's.

I stepped inside, greeting the secretary and showing her my membership card. I walked through the long hall of the gym, stopping in front of Jeremy's door. I twisted the door handle and walked inside. Jeremy was sitting on the long bench by the wall waiting for me. He smiled as I closed the door behind me and placed my bag on the bench.

"You wanna stretch out?" he suggested and he walked across the room to start out playlist. I sat on the ground and began stretching out. First my legs, then my arms, then my shoulders, then my torso, etc. When I was done, I got up and unzipped my bag, grabbing my wraps.

"Let's start slower today," Jeremy suggested. I started with jabs on the right arm, circling the bag, staying on my toes. After a minute or so, I switched to my left arm to the same thing. I then started on circulations of all four main punches. Jab, cross, hook, uppercut on my right side, then I turned and switched to my left side. A few minutes passed of just this. The blood and music pounding in my ears in a synchronized rhythm.

"That's good for now. You can freestyle for now if you want, and then we can move on to one-on-one," Jeremy suggested.

I took his advice. I let myself feel the bag and began punching to my heart's content, switch and roving around the bag. I pushed it a couple times to get it moving and worked on elbows. Just for fun, I kicked it a couple times. After around fifteen minutes had passed, Jeremy told me to stop and relax.

He had gotten out the boxing mitts. I faced him in a ready position. He started out slowly but quickly escalated. I punched and blocked every which-way I could. I was doing pretty well. Jeremy did manage to get a couple jabs in, but all-in-all I had vastly improved since returning from school.

He pointed this out at the end of class as we sat on the bench together. I was downing my water bottle.

"Thanks," I gasped, finishing my water.

"No problem. You deserve it."

We did a few cool down stretches and then I was on my way. I gave Jeremy a hug before I left. I pushed open the double doors and began my four-mile run to my house.

I hadn't really been seeing a lot of my mother since both my jobs had started. Not that I minded, but that made days where I had nothing to do odd. She wandered around the house aimlessly, often stopping in one place and then not moving for several minutes. It was weird, but with her, I was no longer fazed.

I was making black bean soup for dinner. It would be served with cheese, sour cream, and corn chips. As I stirred the soup, I thought.

A few days ago, the Daily Prophet had come out with my interview inside it. Thankfully, it wasn't front page, there were plenty of more important articles, specifically about Harold and his opinion of the laws made by Saghir al-Tabatabai. I was still on the front page though. It was a giant moving picture of Harold giving his speech, but even so, it was angled just so, so perfectly that I was in view of the camera, sitting, taking notes.

I wondered how many people actually cared about my opinion. I was essentially a spokesperson for the minister, so everything they would actually care about should be on the front page.

Madame Rosmerta was very happy for me, however, and the fact that I worked there seemed to spark at least a few more customers than usual. She had pinned my article in the entryway, complete with the moving picture of me laughing at the booth, hands around a mug of butterbeer. Osumare had taken one right before she left.

I had read the article. I enjoyed it, but I didn't see why anyone who did know me would even be interested. My friends had all sent me letters congratulating me which was nice, but I didn't really think about it too much. I had both newspapers pinned to my wall, right beside James' doodles. The first one where I had stood up in front of Wizengamot and the second one that Osumare had done.

I had shoved all that out of my mind for now. I began thinking about Hogwarts. Two months had already passed, which was a relief. I had less than a month before I would be back. Thank goodness. That reminded me that I had to talk to Rosmerta about how my job would work. I'd probably have to quit, which made me sad, but I'd be back in the summer. There was no way I could quit my job at the ministry, it paid too well. Plus, because I was the Junior assistant and I went to school, there was already a set up for me.

Saturdays and Sundays I would work at the ministry from nine to four. During the week I wouldn't work, unless Harold needed me specifically for something, like an interview. Which case, he would notify me and I'd be able to make plans with my teachers.

Dumbledore had already written me a letter defining all these plans along with my share of gold for the school year.

I would need to go shopping soon. For my books.

I looked down at the soup. It looked ready. I tasted it. Yup, definitely ready. I leaned back, glancing out the door frame. Mum was already at the table. I quickly turned off the stove and grabbed two bowls, two spoons, and two cups. I set the table and grabbed the soup, setting it in the middle of the table on a heating pad.

I grabbed the grated cheese and the sour cream. I also grabbed the corn chips.

I served up mum's soup. She was unbearably quiet tonight. She gave a faint hiss when she took a bite of the soup, giving me a look.

"Yes, I know. It's not like how dad used to make it," I said, sighing, sprinkling cheese into my bowl, watching it melt.

She screwed up her brows at my remark. I didn't much care. I ignored her, taking a careful bite of my soup. It was too hot. I gave a quiet yelp and went to take a drink of water when I realized I hadn't brought the pitcher. I stood up to go get it. As I did, mum grabbed her bowl. Before I could react, she threw it at me, bowl and all.

The scalding soup bit my skin, burning. I screamed. The bowl hit the floor and shattered, pricking my legs with the shards. The soup was much too hot, much too hot. In a rush of thought, I tore off my shirt to keep the hot liquid off me, but I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and the soup had gotten on my bare arms.

My mum had quietly gotten up and left for her room. I cursed as the steaming liquid stung my skin, causing my eyes to water. A couple tears dripped down my face just from the pain of it all.

I slipped my wand from my pocket and mended the bowl. My legs were bleeding a little bit. One particularly large shard had managed to cut me deeper than the rest and blood was dripping down from it. I syphoned the soup and blood off the floor with my wand and made my way to the bathroom to shower and heal myself.

I stripped and stepped into the shower turning it on cold to soothe my burns. I don't know how long I stood in there, crying. I sobbed and screamed and hated. I was exhausted by the end of it. I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself. I walked to my bedroom, shut and locked the door, and stood in front of my floor-length mirror. I looked at my face. My eyes were red and tired from all my tears. I stood there for so long, my heels started growing numb. I didn't want to see. I grimaced and dropped my towel.

It was bad. Angry red marks crawled up my skin. They were a lot worse on my arms and neck. Small blisters had formed and my skin throbbed. My chest and stomach weren't that bad, but there were still welts and the skin was red here too. My legs were pretty much okay, just red in the few places soup had gotten there, but my jeans had done a pretty good job of protecting me.

I inspected the burns closer and decided that I had suffered both first and second-degree burns. My arms were the worst off. Blisters were forming everywhere and the cold shower hadn't helped a lot. I tallied in my head the spells and ointments and potions that would help me. I kept all my most potent stuff in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I stooped carefully, hissing quietly as my skin stretched.

I took a tin of burn-healing paste. It was thick and orange and smelled faintly pleasant. Luckily I had quite a lot of it. I had bought it once and never used it again. I spread it thickly over every single red part of my body. Immediately it soothed. My eyes prickled from the shock of the pain decreasing.

I stood there, shaking, for half an hour, letting the paste sink into my skin. As it did this, I did all my usual spells. Slowly, I felt my soreness dissolve. I healed the cuts in my legs almost completely. The only one that remained was the bigger one, but it was so shallow by that point it would heal in a couple days.

I couldn't stop shaking. My nerves were so frazzled they couldn't stand still. I wanted to cry again, just to let the pressure out of my chest but no more tears would come.

As soon as the last of the ointment had soaked in, I put on my pyjamas and returned to the dining room. I sat down, looking at the soup.

I carefully took a bite, my hand shaking all the way to my mouth.

It was cold.


	58. Blasted Trunk

_(Five Years Prior)_

_It was it. Finally the day. The day she could leave and make friends and learn real magic and and and, that was all Iris could think. She had learned what the residential healer's name was; Marta Mondragon._

_Iris was excited. She already had her cover story all thought out. Her aunt Gertrude had left earlier that morning but had told Iris everything she needed to tell that healer. She had also ordered Iris a taxi to get to King's Cross. It was all worked out. Now, all Iris had to do was pack and wait._

_Her trunk lay sprung open before her, items, clothing etc piled around her. She was folding her robes and carefully placing them in the bottom of the trunk. She slid her three pairs of shoes in the bag attached to the lid and put her folded socks and underthings there too. She had a ziplock of all her toiletries as well. Her normal, day-to-day clothing she placed on top of her robes._

_She put all of her textbooks on the left side, stacked, and then she put her scales and cauldron and vials and quills on the right side. She then put a couple of home items. A few of her personal books, drawing stuffs, and a stash of chocolate should it be necessary. She also put the bag of the remaining money and tucked it into one of her shoes. She shut the lid and locked it._

_She grabbed her broom and placed it on top, just as a knock sounded. She raced to the living room and pulled open the door. Standing there, was a young girl, probably no older than twenty. She wore a simple blue dress and carried a large leather case. Her hair was a dark, dark brown and she wore it in a half up half down style. She was tan and she spoke with a slight Mexican accent._

_"Hello," she said, smiling incredibly white teeth._

_"Hello," Iris replied. "Come in." Iris closed the door behind her. "Aunt Gertrude had to leave, but I can tell you everything she told me."_

_"Sounds good to me," Marta said with another smile._

_"This is where you'll be staying," Iris said, showing her a bedroom with a simple twin bed. The walls were blue and there was a dresser and a closet as well as a large window with long flowy curtains. "The bathroom is just there," Iris said pointing._

_"Can I meet your mum?" Marta asked. Iris nodded and showed her to her mother's bedroom. She knocked quietly._

_"Mum? Can I come in?" Silence greeted her, which was a good sign. Iris opened the door and switched on the light. Her mother was on her back, lying face up on her bed. "Mum, there's someone here to meet you."_

_Her mum turned, glancing at Iris and then Marta. She sat up._

_"Mum, this is Marta. She'll be taking care of you while I'm at Hogwarts." Freya didn't move, she just sat, staring at Marta. Marta gave a little wave._

_"Hello, Mrs Brooks. It's good to meet you." Freya sat up and stood from her bed, tottering over to the two. Iris braced her feet but tried to look calm._

_"You're pretty," Freya croaked._

_"Thank you, Mrs Brooks," Marta said, a little taken aback. Freya watched her for another moment or two, but then tottered off back to her bed and laid down again. Iris shut the lights off and closed the door carefully. She made her way back to the library and offered Marta a cup of tea. She refused. "So, your letter says that your mother suffers from insanity as well as susceptibility to illnesses. Have you consulted a healer before?"_

_"Not really. She went in for a diagnosis several years ago, but we never did anything about it except give her the solutions they provided. Aunt Gertrude doesn't make a lot of money. Now that you're here though, she can hopefully make more money and stay during the summers." Iris said._

_"Okay..." Marta said, surveying Iris' face. "What does your aunt do? What's her occupation?"_

_"She's a waitress," Iris said, nodding. Marta nodded back._

_"How is payment going to work?" Marta asked._

_"Um. Probably monthly. Aunt Gertrude said she'd owl you the check," Iris said._

_"Sounds good. When are you off to Hogwarts?" Iris checked the clock._

_"In about an hour. Aunt Gertrude said she had called a taxi to come get me. I just finished packing when you knocked. Do you have any other questions?" Marta shook her head. "Okay, well I'm going to go grab my trunk and I'll be headed off. You can owl me if you have any more questions." Iris smiled and ran to her room, grabbing her trunk and her broom._

_Marta was wandering the house, getting herself familiar with it. She bid Iris goodbye and Iris gave her the house keys. She stepped out her door and began the long trek to King's Cross Station. It was around three miles from her home, but she was a tenacious girl. She managed it._

_She reached King's Cross and grabbed a trolley, immediately blended into the crowd. She made her way to the pillar between nine and ten. Glancing over her shoulder she gently pushed her trolley through and followed immediately after it. She was hit with an onslaught of noise and the smell of oil and smoke._

_Kids were running around everywhere, parents were ushering their children onto the train, people were saying goodbyes, some people were crying some were laughing. It was madness, yet Iris loved it._

_She slid her trunk from the trolley and dragged it over to the train door. She managed to lift one end over the doorframe, but something was preventing the other side from moving any further. Something was caught or something. Iris grunted, trying to lift the bloody thing into the train._

_"Blasted— trunk!" She said, kicking it._

_"Need help?" Two boys stood off to the side, one with messy dark hair and round spectacles, one with long black hair and a killer leather jacket. They wore identical smirks. Trouble._

_"Please!"_


	59. Destry

I was reading. The egg lay on my chest, nestled in my baggy sweater. I glanced at it occasionally, smiling, with slight anxiousness. It was bound to hatch any day now, I was just hoping it would be soon. It was dumb, but I had become very emotionally attached to this egg. I wanted it to hatch so I could name it.

I had been debating a few names, but I had resolved not to get too attached to any one because I wanted to see the owl first. I still didn't know what kind. In all of my prodding letter to Regulus, he still refused to tell me what kind it was. I couldn't wait.

I had already read up on owl as much as I could. I knew how I'd have to feed it, how long it would take for its adult feathers to start growing, everything I needed to know. I was going to raise this owl as though it were my own child. I was so excited I could barely read my book.

In less than a week, I'd have a baby owl on my hands, and then a week after that, I was going back to Hogwarts. I could hardly wait.

Regulus and I had kept a strong friendship going, we had been meeting each other every Saturday night after I got out from work. I wouldn't exactly call him a best friend yet, but we were getting there. He was a very good listener and a conversationalist. He told me he didn't actually have that many friends, just the little posse he hung out with. Lucius and Narcissa had graduated last year, so the only person he would have would be Snape. He explained there was Corban Yaxley and Antonin Dolohov, but they weren't close friends.

I looked at my clock. I sighed, closed the book, and carefully took the egg in my hands. I placed it back in its drawer and closed it. I then stepped out of my room and made my way to the fireplace. Mum was there, staring at the wall, per usual.

We didn't greet each other. I just grabbed the smallest fistful of floo powder as I could and tossed it into the empty fireplace. Immediately, lime green flames leapt up. I stepped through.

"The Three Broomsticks!" I said, in the clearest voice I could manage. Immediately I was tossed about in the flames. I tucked my elbows in and before long, I stumbled out into the restaurant. It was already bustling. I ran behind the counter and grabbed my apron.

I took my spot behind the counter, filling and re-filling cups, chatting, and taking orders. It was a chaotic night, that was for sure. Even for a Saturday night, it was crazier than usual. I struck up a conversation with a regular customer and we had a very pleasant conversation.

Plenty of people had come in just to talk to me since the interview, but the buzz about me had died down quite a bit, for which I was very grateful. I was just trying to my job, not become a celebrity. Rosmerta and I had already talked a few weeks before about how things were going to work.

Because my job at the ministry paid a lot better, I would be working there during school. Mostly on weekends, but just in case something arose that I would have to go to, I had an immediate excuse from school should the need arise. I would work at the Three Broomsticks during winter break.

"Iris! Here's the number five!" Jake called from the back window.

"Got it!" I yelled back, grabbing the plate and bringing it to the table that had ordered. I grabbed a pitcher of water and a pitcher of butterbeer and began my re-filling rounds.

"Hey, Iris!" Someone called from the corner. I turned and spotted Gideon and Mary. They grinned and waved me over.

"Hi!" I said, smiling. "How are you guys?" I asked.

"We're doing just great," Mary said, smiling. Gideon had his arm around her, so I surmised they were on a date.

"What can I get you two?" I asked.

"I'll take... the soup of the day, I think. And a Pumpkin Fizz," Gideon said.

"Ooo I'll take that too, except I want a butterbeer," Mary grinned.

"Sounds... good!" I said, writing that down. "I'll have that for you in a few minutes."

"Oh, you can't just leave like that! Chat with us, come on," Mary laughed.

"I hear you're famous now." Gideon wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh, yeah. You want my autograph or something?" I chuckled. "I'm really not, politics just happens to be really boring, so when something new happens, they swoop into the story. It's not that big of a deal,"

"Still. I've never been in the newspaper," Mary raised an eyebrow.

"It's super cool that you work with the minister though. What's he like?" Gideon asked.

"He's super nice. Really smart too. Both good qualities for a minister if you ask me. Now. I've got to get this order to the cooks, so I'll be back. And I don't wanna see any obnoxious PDA from you two either," I said, wagging my pencil at them. They laughed and I turned and weaved my way to the kitchens.

I slapped the order onto the line beside the window. Jake just gave me an exhausted look, which I returned a smile.

The day quickly drew to a close. The chaos from before had died down, and now only a few quiet people were left. I untied my apron and hung it up, checking the box next to my name. I grabbed my food from Jake and walked outside to mine and Regulus' Saturday night spot.

He was already there, a hunched shadow staring at the closed shop windows. I sat down in front of him and cracked open my soup container. It was a nice french onion soup today.

"How's it going?" I asked Regulus.

"Good," he replied. It was a moment before he continued. "Actually, not good. Sirius ran away last night." I dropped my spoon into my soup.

"You're kidding."

He shook his head.

"I knew he was planning it. I didn't even try to stop him. Mum's been getting so bad... We don't know where he's gone, but it's my thinking that he's at the Potter's."

"Bloody hell," I said, burying my face in my hands. I looked up at him. "Are _you_ okay?" Reg shook his head.

"Yeah. Mum's just pissed at Sirius and she's always liked me," he said, bitterly. There was a very large pause in conversation as I pretended to eat my soup and Regulus looked down at the table. "How's the egg doing? Has it hatched yet?"

I straightened up.

"Not yet, but it should be soon. I'm still mad that you haven't told me what kind it is." I said, wagging my spoon at him, accusingly. He chuckled.

"It makes it more entertaining. Have you chosen a name yet?"

"I haven't. I decided I want to know what it looks like before I do that. You know," I said, taking another bite of soup. Regulus nodded.

"Makes sense,"

There was another gap in the conversation, but this was a more pleasant silence. One that was companionable.

"I just it to hatch already, you know? I'm getting antsy," I said with a laugh. Reg grinned.

"Just be patient. It'll hatch in its own due time."

I snorted at that, but I kept eating my soup. I finished and we sat there, thinking.

"How's your mum?" Reg asked me. I shrugged.

"About the same,"

"How're you?" I didn't answer. "You're just making me think the worst, you know." Regulus pointed out.

"I'm...okay..." I said, noncommittally.

"Well, that's a bloody obvious lie," Reg said, tilting his head.

"I'm just a little worn, you know? I just want to be out of that house already. She's getting worse, I can tell. She just watches me and criticizes everything I do. The other day, she burned me with my own soup. I just need to get out," I said, tiredly.

Regulus put a hand on my back, rubbing a small circle there. It slowed me down, I hadn't even noticed how close I was to tears.

"It's fine. There's not much she can do in two weeks. I'll out of the house and happy in no time," I said, lying. Regulus could sense this, but he knew calling me out on this wouldn't do any good.

"Are you sure you don't need money? My family has more than they know what to do with," He offered. I shook my head.

"As much as I appreciate it, I'm actually doing okay right now."

"Yeah, but you won't be in two weeks. I know that your residential healer must be expensive," he said, grimacing for me.

"Really, it's okay. I'll survive. I promise I'll let you know if I do ever need your help," I said, smiling a sad smile.

We sat there for another half an hour, just looking up into the sky. I sighed.

"I've gotta go. I've gotta check on my egg! Who knows, maybe it's started hatching," I said, grinning. We both stood.

"I'll see you next week," Reg said. I smiled at him and grabbed my bowl, turning back toward the Three Broomsticks. The night was quiet. I felt my heart jump at the idea that my little egg could be hatching right now. I picked up my pace.

I delivered the bowl back to the kitchens and flooed home. I got there, and the house was dead silent. None of the lights were on, of course, my mum didn't care to turn on lights. Plus, she was probably asleep at this point. I glanced into the kitchen and saw her dirty plate and fork next to the sink. I sighed and resolved to wash them in the morning.

I made my way to my bedroom and was startled to see a gap of light seeping out from under the door frame. I hadn't left the light on, did I? I pushed open the door and froze. My mum glanced up, looking at me and looked back at her empty hands.

My top drawer was open. I was paralyzed, staring at the sight I saw on the floor. A smashed egg, splattered on the floor. A tiny, lifeless feathered body, splayed awkwardly on the floor. I felt my heart rapidly beating inside my chest, my throat constricted, I couldn't breathe.

I felt a sudden nauseousness.

_No no no no no not my egg, not my owl, not this, please no no no no how could she? How COULD she?!?_

A constant stream of NOs were wrapping around in my mind, tangling, taking over my body. I couldn't think, my eyesight was going blurry from the hot tears dripping down my face. Was that me screaming?

I no longer felt paralyzed, I shoved my mother out of the way and knelt on the floor, taking in the scene. I was screaming, I finally realized that, but ti wasn't out of fear. No, no, no. it was anger.

"HOW COULD YOU? YOU'RE A MURDERER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" I was swearing like a sailor, but I didn't care. I stood and hit everything I could see, I shoved my mum out of the room and locked the door. I hoped one of my flying fists had connected with her nose.

My nose was running. I screamed, clawing at my body and head. This couldn't be happening. The one thing I actually cared about in this house could not be gone, it just couldn't.

My tears fell onto the floor, mixing with the yellowy, slimy mess on the floor. I couldn't bear to look at it. I had treated it like my child. I had loved that egg like I hadn't ever loved anything. How could she? My heart was wrenching, I couldn't take it. I suddenly turned sideways and vomited onto the floor.

This was the worst pain I had ever gone through. I felt like my entire body was trying to kill me. My egg, my child, that thing I loved was gone.

I sobbed, the awful breath tearing at my throat. I was still screaming and moaning, stringing endless swears and trainwreck sentences together. I didn't know what I was saying, all I could see was my bird. My beautiful bird, a gift from my newest friend, lying dead on the floor.

A gift from the only person in the world who actually knew what I was going through. The only one that fully understood me, who knew I needed a friend to have with me when things got rough.

I turned and vomited again, this one more dry heaving than actual vomit.

Hours and hours passed, it felt like. By the time I was done crying, I felt as though I had been rammed over and over again by a freight train. I hiccupped, looking down at the mess on the floor.

I wiped my face with my sleeves and stared down at my beautiful bird. I had no more tears to give it.

At first, I thought I had imagined it. I didn't dare believe... Then I saw it again. The slightest of movement. I almost laughed, but my throat was too raw to do that. Then the smallest of noises. I jumped up and grabbed my book, frantically flipping through the pages. By the time I got to the correct page, the bird was moving, actually moving.

I gently picked it up, my tears, forgotten. There was a more important job to be done.

By the time I had cleaned up the mess and the bird and nursed the bird back to health, it was asleep, adorably curled into one of my raggedy t-shirts.

I named it Destry. It means fighter, which, I decided, we both are.


	60. Presence

I carried Destry wherever I went. She had "hatched" far too early to be healthy, so I carried her everywhere. Not to mention, I didn't trust my mother. I had to keep Destry safe. It was a good thing Harold didn't mind, he thought she was adorable.

He cooed over her whenever he could and petted her and loved her. I thought it was hilarious. I liked to keep her in my pocket. It was warm and dark and perfect for her to sleep, but when she was awake, she had the habit of sitting in my hair. I was okay with this, so while I was walking around the ministry people would do double-takes.

She was too young to eat anything big, so right now her food consisted of bugs and other small meat things. Luckily, bugs were reasonably cheap.

She couldn't fly yet, but that was normal even for a bird to hadn't been hatched prematurely. I had been a bit worried that she might suffer from the earliness of her hatching, and indeed she was a little smaller than she should've been, but she seemed reasonably healthy. She was perfectly fine and I loved her for it.

She had green, black, and grey feathers that under the light shone silverily. She had large yellow eyes that always seemed to be inquiring about something. She was adorable and she knew it. She flaunted herself and simply adored attention. She would do whatever it took to get someone to pet her and coo over her.

I was at the ministry now, currently taking a large stack of reports to someone in the Floo Regulation Panel. Destry was nestled in my hair, chirping every once and a while. I could feel her little talons adjusting and moving around as I walked. I stepped into the lift and watched the doors close. It descended a couple of floors when it stopped and a few people got on. They were a silent bunch, and all focusing on whatever tasks they had at hand. If anyone noticed Destry, they didn't say anything.

She chirped as the lift started moving again and one man looked up from his paper and glanced at her. He stared for a moment, unperturbed. Then he just shook his head and returned to his paper.

Another floor down and I stepped off. The room was messily organized, desks everywhere and quills hovering mid-air. People were bustling about, carrying large stacks of paper and random supplies. I saw one woman carrying a large, fanged plant. She moved past me and entered the lift. I shrugged. I had seen crazier things.

I made my way toward the back to the closed offices. There were quite a few of them, maybe twenty or so. It took me a while to find the correct one, but when I did, I knocked on the one with a plaque that read 'Alcina Greine'. A harried, frizzy-haired woman opened the door. Blue smoke seemed to be wisping out from her office. I stared.

"Yes?" she asked in a tired voice.

"I have someone paperwork from the minister," I managed to get out before the woman snatched them from my hands. She looked them over, flipping through some of the pages. She nodded and mumbled to herself. She looked up and seemed to be surprised to see me standing there, almost as if she had forgotten.

"Yes, well... thank you," she said and closed the door. I blinked. Then I shrugged and turned back, heading to the lift. I dodged several workers with piles of papers taller than their heads and avoided another floating quill before I stepped back into the lift.

There were already two people. A woman with a hairstyle that looked to tightly curled it almost looked plastic and a man who seemed to be wearing his robes backward. He carried the largest mug of coffee I had ever seen.

Destry shifted around in my hair as I rode the lift upward. I stepped out, my lift companions longs gone, and made my way back to the minister's office. He was at his desk, looking through paperwork holding a quill in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. I sat down in the cushioned chair next to the desk and gently took Destry off my head.

I began petting her. She squirmed around a little bit, getting comfortable in my hands. She hooted once, quietly before finally settling down.

"It's been a _day_ , Iris. It really has," Harold said, shaking his head. "The head of the Beat Division is being insufferable. the man won't _listen_." He shook his head again as he signed something. "Anyway. How's your life been? Excited to get back to Hogwarts?" he smiled as I nodded eagerly.

"Gah! Yes. I want to get out of my house. My mum is so frustrating, you have no idea," I said, rolling my eyes. Harold raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"How's that boy... Potter? Seen him lately?" Harold said, raising his glasses and inspecting a paper more closely.

"I haven't actually. I've been really busy," I said, wondering where this conversation was going...

"He's nice. I like him." Harold nodded, approvingly. I couldn't tell if it was for James or for the paper he was inspecting so thoroughly.

"So do I," I said. "As a friend," I added, hastily, noting Harold's suspicious glance at me. He sighed.

"Too bad. He'd be quite the catch for a young lady like you, I should think,"

I laughed in reply. "Sure,"

"I'm serious. He's more gentlemanly than most boys his age. He's also interested in you, so it'll be quite easy."

I just shook my head at that. "Yeah, well. You don't know him as well as I do," I laughed. Destry chirped, unhappily and I resumed my petting.

"You may be right, but you could at least give him a chance." Harold pointed his quill at me. I pursed my lips. No matter how smooth and 'gentlemanly' Potter was, I couldn't look over several key points of his personality. He was hot-headed and acted in anger to whatever made him unhappy. He found no qualms in hating all Slytherins either, and I couldn't stand him for it.

Another thing, he was simply to belligerent. If he gave me a rest once and a while, it would help him more than he could know.

Yes, I knew he was handsome. Yes, he was generally gentlemanly. Yes, he was funny, kind to me and to his friends, and more intelligent than he let anyone know, but I couldn't ignore his other habits. He was a bully. He hated Slytherins with a passion I didn't understand. Sure, I understood why he didn't like Snape and Lucius and Narcissa. They were all deserving of a good butt-kicking, but I couldn't understand his hatred for the entire house.

He didn't have any scarring backstory of the entire house ganging up on his family or anything like that. He just didn't like them. That kind of close-mindedness is what kept me from saying yes every time he asked me out on a date.

Sure, he was getting better, but that was really the thing holding me back. He was too much of a bully. I couldn't allow that.

The rest of our office conversation was much less boring, mostly just gossiping about ministry workers and annoying people. We talked about Jeremy, whom I had told Harold seemed fascinated about the idea of boxing.

"A wizard depends on magic to win fights. Get rid of the wand and he is defenseless. Teach him to use his body to win... well. You can't take that away from him, now can you?" He had nodded wisely when he said that. I smiled, understanding.

Too soon, my day at the ministry was over. I made my way down to the atrium and in line for a fireplace. I flooed home, changed into a pair of black pants and a white t-shirt and flooed to the Three Broomsticks all before I could even catch a glimpse of my mother.

Madame Rosmerta didn't mind Destry, so long as she stayed in my pocket or my hair. Customers would complain otherwise. Sanitary-ness and such. I worked for another blazing four hours that seemed to go by too fast. The four hours were full of drunks, sandwiches and a spilled pitcher of butterbeer. I flooed home. The house was silent and still, per usual.

I moved to the kitchen to make dinner. It would be a relatively simple dinner; Paninis. Destry was asleep in my pocket. I was glad, I didn't want my mum to see her. I got out the panini press and let it start heating up. Meanwhile, I began chopping up avocado, tomatoes, cheese, etc. How did this work seem so much slower than the four hours I had in the three broomsticks?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my mum walked through the doorway into the kitchen. She didn't do anything, she just stood there, watching me.

She made no move to hurt me or threaten me in any way, she didn't even speak. Yet still, that electric shock of fear sliced through my chest and rested in my abdomen, sitting there, scaring me beyond speaking. I breathed in my nose, out my mouth. Calm, calm, calm.

It was fine.

I was fine.

I finished chopping up everything and grabbed the spinach from the refrigerator. I took out a loaf of bread from the cupboard and a stick of butter. I cut four pieces of the panini bread. Crumbs scattered across the counter, but I brushed them into the wink with the back of my hand. I moved around my mum to grab a butterknife. She didn't even move. She just...watched me. Her presence leaked into my head and terrified me more than any words she might've said.

I began buttering four pieces of the long panini bread. I began putting the topping and stuff on them. Tomatoes, spinach, cheese, ham, avocado, onions. I put two layers of cheese on each. I carefully placed them in the panini press and pressed down the top.

I waited.

My mum stood across from me, watching. Watching my every move. Her insidiousness wormed her way into my worst thoughts. My breath started to become short, but I refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing me scared. I breathed. In...out...in...out...

She just watched.

It seemed like hours passed as our invisible showdown took place. We watched each other like hawks. I felt my heart jump every few seconds, it was suffocating. I was saved by the panini press beeping. I opened it and took the sandwiches off, setting them on two plates. I took them to the table and grabbed two cups and the pitcher.

Mum had sat down at the table. I began to eat. I was sick of being around her. I wanted to get away. Get away from her. My mental state couldn't survive her eyes for long.

I devoured my panini in record time, ignoring the stomach ache I induced from my pace. I picked up my dishes and brought them to the sink, washing them and placing them in the drying rack. I moved out of the kitchen and passed my mum at the table on my way to my bedroom.

I forced myself one last look at my mother to bid her goodnight. Her eyes flickered malevolently, silently. I walked into my room and locked the door behind me.

I breathed very hard. So hard, my lungs hurt from the pain. I was shaking. Shaking because of her. Even her damn presence was terrifying to me. I couldn't stand it. How could I stay here, allow her to pick me apart with her eyes?

I needed to get out of this house.

Just get out and go to Hogwarts. Just one more week and I'd be gone. Gone. Out of this blasted house. This bloody torture experiment of a house.

One. More. Week.


	61. Surreality

I was packing. It was so surreal I couldn't even think about it without my head hurting. I packed everything. My robes, my textbooks, my vials, and brass scales. I packed my casual day-wear. I packed my makeup and toiletries. My shoes, my socks, my quills, and parchment. I packed.

I'd be leaving today. I had to be at the station by 11:00, which meant I'd have to start walking by 10:00. There were just a few things I needed to take care of.

I had bought a cage for Destry. It was at least ten times her actual size, but she would grow into it. She was asleep there, currently. I slipped my wand in my jeans pocket and opened her cage, waking her up. She ruffled her feathers and bounced out, across my fingers and flittered to my shoulder. I laughed and closed the cage, stacking it on my things. I grabbed my broom and put it on top as well.

I double-checked to make sure I had everything (I did), and then I stepped out of my bedroom. My mum was nowhere to be seen, which was good. I stepped outside and began another long walk. Not so long this time. Jeremy and I had planned a little excursion today. Brunch. It was the last time I'd see him for a while.

We had planned to meet at a little tea shop which just so happened to be very close to my house. Maybe a mile away. I had told him about Destry. He was very intrigued and asked a ton of questions about what it was like to raise an owl. I promised him I'd bring her.

The walk was a short one, which was good because it was already 8:30. I reached the little shop and Jeremy was already there. I could see him, waving at me through the shop window. I grinned and stepped in the door. It tinkled behind me, a bell having been affixed to the door. I greeted him and sat down.

"Oh, is this Destry? Beautiful..." he said, admiring the bird. I laughed and took her from my shoulder, handing her off to him carefully. He petted her ever so gently. Destry seemed to like him.

"Isn't she? She's a Crested Owl," I lied. After she had hatched Regulus had finally told me what she was, which was a Stoutmantle Green-Masked Owl, which was a magical species that only existed in the Wizarding world. Stoutmantle Green-Masked Owls were supposed to have magical properties but they could range from anything from giving the owner luck, to blessing them with wealth, to even making sure they never have a bad hair day.

Jeremy was fascinated and coddled her until our waitress came up. We ordered. Him, chocolate biscuits and green tea, me, a slice of carrot cake and chamomile tea. The waitress didn't even bat an eyelash when she spotted Destry. Just goes to show that crazy things that can go down in restaurants.

"Are you excited to get back?" Jeremy asked me, sipping his tea.

"Yes, goodness it's been so long, I can't wait," I said, gently blowing on my drink. It was still too hot. I stirred in some milk a sugar.

"I've never met someone so excited to go to school," Jeremy chuckled. I did too.

"Well, you would too if you went to this school," I said with a grin.

"What is it called again?"

"Scamander's Academy. Very small," I said, nodding and taking a timid sip of my tea.

"Ah, yes. Well, enough about school. Where did you say you got Destry?" Jeremy asked, petting her up and down. Destry was loving every bit of attention.

"She was newly hatched in an animal rescue place. The egg had fallen out of a tree during a storm and they couldn't find her nest, so they took her in. One of my friends told me about it, so I came by and bought her." Was it bad to lie so much? Probably. At least I was smart enough to keep my stories straight.

"Right, right. What does she eat?" Jeremy asked.

"Bugs mostly. She won't really get much bigger, she's one of the smaller species. Potentially mice if she gets big enough," I said, nodding.

"Fascinating..." Jeremy muttered.

We had a slight lull in the conversation as we ate a drank. Jeremy cleared his throat.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you actually, Iris," he said. I could see a slight grimace.

"What?" I asked. My eyebrows furrowed. What could possibly make him this nervous?

"I'm... old. Let's face it. I should've retired years ago." His head was ducked as though he didn't want to look at me directly. "It's a miracle I've been able to teach boxing for this long. My wife wants me home more and my joints are getting worn out. So... I've decided to retire." He grimaced as my jaw dropped in shock. "I know. I know. Trust me, I don't want to either... but I'm old, Iris. I may be more active than more men my age, but It's a losing battle. I'll probably finish the year off, but after January I'm done." He looked up at me, sadness in his eyes. I was struggling to keep my tears from spilling out.

"Oh," was all I managed to choke out. He gently took my hand. I looked him in the eyes, letting my tears fall.

"Hey. It's fine. We can still me up like this. Just promise me one thing," he said, tears in his own eyes.

"Anything," I said, thickly.

"Keep boxing. You've got a passion and I don't want you to stop just because I'm not teaching you anymore. Promise me that," he said, squeezing my hand.

"I promise," I said. We hugged.

A few hours later and I was sitting on my front porch, trunk, broom, and owl cage next to me. I was fiddling with the keys to the house. A taxi drove up and stopped in front of the house. Marta got out, carrying a large suitcase. She paid the driver and he drove away.

She was looking fashionable as ever. A sky blue button up dress and a hair scarf to match. I stood slowly, my joints aching from sitting for so long. We hugged.

"Alright. Well, here are the keys," I said, stepping back. Marta took them and slipped them into her pocket. "Keep in touch and let me know of any difficulties."

"Of course," Marta said with her pretty accent and her pearly grin. "Have a good school year." We bid each other goodbye. Marta walked into the house and shut the door. I began my long walk in the other direction. Three miles wasn't really all that long, but carrying a trunk, a cage, and a broomstick did not make this any easier for me. I dragged them along the sidewalk.

It was an unusually cool summer day, but even so, sweat was dripping down my back and my chest. I could feel droplets rolling down my forehead. Halfway there I checked my watch. I was behind schedule which meant no halfway rest for me. I struggled onward.

Each painful step I just reminded myself of where I was going. Who I was going to be with in half an hour. I managed to keep pace and before long, I was arriving at the bustling station. I grabbed a trolley and slid my trunk and other items on top of it. I ignored the stares from muggles and pushed my cart to the barrier between nine and ten.

Feeling my heart soaring through my whole body, I rushed at the pillar. A split second and I was in a new place. The Hogwarts Express puffed in its station. Kids in robes ran around screaming and chatting. Adults in robes stood around talking and catching up with old friends.

I took a deep sigh of relief and pushed my cart to the platform. Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned and there stood Regulus with a dorky grin on his face.

"Hey! Reg!" I hugged him tightly. "How's it going?" I asked. He grimaced.

"As good as it normally is," he said.

"Let me guess. Sirius is being his normal self and your mum is getting more pissed by the second?" I guessed, eyebrow raised.

"Spot on," Regulus sighed. "Well, its good to see you. I'd better return and prevent a homicide. Bye," he said, waving.

"Bye!" I said, waving back. I pushed my cart along the train's length and ran into someone I knew in the halls. "Remus!" I said, grinning and hugging him tightly.

"Hey! What's up?" Remus smiled.

"Nothing much. Where are the others?" I asked finally feeling happy again.

"We're all in one compartment, I'll show you. Come one," he said, gesturing for me to follow him. I did. A few minutes of dodging and weaving around people and we arrived at a very loud compartment. Remus grinned at my grimace and pulled open the door. "Guess who I found?" he announced to the inhabitants.

"Hey guys," I said, stepping in. Sirius, James, and Peter were already there, chatting and laughing obnoxiously. They all grinned as I stepped in.

"Iris! Long time no see," Sirius grinned, giving me a high-five. Peter waved frantically. I moved my way through. James stood to greet me.

"Hello," he said with a dumb grin on his face. He was closer than I could have preferred, but it was a small compartment.

"Hello," I said, equally as quietly. We looked at each other for a moment before I broke the eye contact and sat down. Remus had already helped me with my trunk and stuff. He sat next to me, cracking open a book. James sat down too, right across from me.

"So, Iris. I heard you're famous now," Sirius laughed.

"Oh yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'm a real celebrity right here. You want an autograph?"

Sirius laughed.

"Absolutely. Can you sign my face?" we laughed at that.

"What's it like being the assistant to the minister?" Remus asked, genuinely curious. I shrugged.

"It's fun. It's mostly stressful than anything. I always need to be ready in case an emergency meeting has been called and I need to take notes for everything and take papers to people and a lot of other stuff, but Harold's a nice guy so it's pretty fun." The others nodded.

James was smiling a lot, which wasn't anything new, but it always seemed to be directed at me. I ignored it.

A few minutes later the trained started moving. The voyage quickly turned into a reading/gobstones event with a Destry petting zoo every so often. The boys loved her and Destry, of course, loved the attention. I had seen my other friends, Lily, Mary, and Marlene in the hallways.

We'd all hugged and chattered for what felt like forever until Sirius came out to ask what was taking me so long, he needed his chocolate frogs now.

The train ride seemed like an eternity and yet not long enough all together.

James was ecstatic that Lucius and his gang had mostly graduated. I had to admit, it would be a lot better now that they were gone. The only person we really had to worry about was Snape, and, let's be honest, he was barely a threat.

Hours passed and the rolling fields slowly morphed into rocky shelves. It started sprinkling halfway through. A grey darkness fell around us as the train rolled onward. Then the lights started popping up. You could barely see them through the darkness, but they were there. Sparkling in the moonlight against the darkness of the stone.

The train began to slow. We had already changed into our robes. I smiled at the gryffindor emblem on my chest. Destry was asleep somewhere in my hair as the train came to a full stop. The sprinkling rain was slowing, all that was left was a dreary fog, but nothing could sink my mood.

My eyes lit up as I looked up at the looming castle in the distance.

I was finally back.


	62. Teardrop Windows

Destry stayed in my hair as me and the rest of the Marauders leapt from the train. We made our way to the pickup spot, where lines of carriages waited to take us to the castle. We quickly got one and piled inside, laughing and joking the whole time. I could feel my heartbeat accelerating as the carriage rolled its way through the trees.

I could barely keep up with the conversation as Hogwarts came into view. A buildup of emotions was contained in my chest. I could hardly breathe. The glowing windows beckoned to me.

The carriage grumbled to a stop and we got out. I was so excited, I didn't even mind James helping me out. I gazed up at the towering stone. I grinned and splayed out my arms.

"Race you there!" I yelled suddenly. The boys rushed after me, taken aback. We were laughing. We grew ever closer and my happiness only increased. I was ready. So ready. I was gone from my house, from my mum, from everything. I felt like I was stepping into a new life.

I ran through the double doors and stopped just inside. The boys caught up and stood next to me. We were all out of breath but exhilarated. Other students were ambling around, making their way to the great hall, chattering and catching up with one another.

I too made my way to the great hall and sat down at the Gryffindor table. My friends sat beside me and as other students trickled in, Lily, Mary, and Marlene spotted me and joined on my other side. We laughed and talked until the room was full to bursting of students. A side door opened and the room quieted as the new first year students filed in.

There was a good amount. The sorting seemed to go by very quickly. The Gryffindor house gained several new students. I didn't much care about it though, I wanted to eat and sleep and firmly solidify my mental state in this castle. Dumbledore stood and smiled at us his half-moon spectacles glinting in the candlelight.

The room quieted again as he raised his hands.

"I am very happy to see you all tonight. I trust you are very hungry so I'll save the speech until after," the room chuckled appreciatively.

Food appeared on the table in beautiful dishes. I immediately began serving myself with ham and potatoes and so many other things. My plate was soon stacked. I began eating with little regard to etiquette. Discussions were had, laughter filled the room to the brim. The night stars were popping out above our heads, seen through the magical ceiling.

By the end of the night, I was so drowsy I could barely keep my eyes open. Dumbledore gave his usual speech about quidditch and safety and the fifty rules Filch had added to his list and then we were allowed to sift to our dorms. My trunk was already there, as well as Destry's cage.

She was nestled, asleep in my hair. I carefully untangled her and set her inside. She quickly went back to sleep. The girls and I talked for a bit, but we were all so tired by that point that we quickly changed and were in our beds in no time. A few minutes passed and it sounded like the girls were fast asleep, their quiet snoring I heard from their separate beds.

I was tired. Very tired, and yet my body just didn't want to go to sleep. I lay there for a while, just drinking in the satisfaction of being back. The day had been a whirlwind. Half an hour passed and I was still awake. I pulled the bed hangings back a little and glanced at my clock atop my bedside table. It was a few minutes past midnight.

I sighed and quietly pushed my hangings back completely. I swung my legs off my bed and quietly slipped on my slippers and grabbed my scarlet bed robe, a nice addition to the dorms that year. I tied it around my waist and tiptoed to the door. I slipped out and carefully closed the door behind me, hearing the barest of clicks.

I made my way down the stairs to the common room and out the portrait hole. The castle was dark and moonlit. I didn't know quite what I was doing, but it felt good to walk. I passed sleeping portraits and the suits of armour adorning the walls.

I drank in the castle. It's walls, the flagstones, the tapestries. I instilled it in my mind, further cementing the fact that I was back. I was back. I grinned at the thought. I made my way through the castle, up the moving staircases, visiting my favourite passageways.

The occasional awake portraits raised their eyebrows as I walked past, but I paid them no heed. I slowly made my way through the entire castle, traipsing every single hallway. I was on the seventh floor now. I had passed my way through most everywhere at this point.

I was thinking of visiting the kitchens just to say hi to the house elves when I passed the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy when I noticed a door I had never seen before. I stopped directly in front of it. It didn't look anything like the other doors in Hogwarts.

It was a lighter wood with iron embellishments. The handle had a crystal in its face. It was shadowed, as though trying to hide. My fingers tingled. I gazed at it for a moment before curiosity got the best of me. I grasped the handle and twisted. It opened without so much as a squeak. I stepped through and carefully closed it behind me. It did so without a sound.

The room was large. So large. Every wall was windows. They looked over the forbidden forest, black and foggy from the late hour. Standing in the middle of the room, it felt like the room was hovering. The moon flew above, it silvery light casting elongated shadows from the teardrop arching windows.

I stepped forward, gazing across the forest. I could see for miles. I looked up. The ceiling was pointed, but there were triangular windows here too. I slowly turned, taking in everything. One this was for sure, this room had not existed before now. Maybe it was a recent addition, but something in the back of my mind told me this was not the case.

There was a window seat on the far wall. There were several pillows and a blanket lying there. I slowly made my way toward it, transfixed with the world outside the windows. I saw a flock of birds flying from the centre of the forest and then land again, somewhere else. I could see owls swooping about, probably finding their dinner.

I knelt on the window seat and rested my elbows on the window sill, gazing out to the forest. The lake twinkled to my far right, dipping near the forest. The world was so quiet. I watched the trees for a long time, drinking it in.

After a time, I felt myself begin to grow tired. I eventually tore my eyes away from the magic in front of me and laid down on the window seat. It was strangely warm, and even though it looked like stone, it didn't feel like it. It was slightly cushioned. I laid my head on the pillows and pulled the blanket over me.

I turned myself so that I could look into the sky as I lay. I don't know how long it took, but I fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up to my alarm. I quickly turned it off and gazed around me. I was back in my dorm. I blinked, confused before ripping my blankets off me and hurrying to get dressed. The others slowly woke, but I was in a rush. I was downstairs before they were even dressed.

James caught me in the common room. He grabbed my arm.

"Woah, where are you going to in such a rush?" he grinned at me. I removed his hand from me.

"Nowhere in particular," I panted, trying to sound convincing.

"Liar," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. I sighed, defeatedly. "Care to join me for breakfast?" He teased, poking me. A moment of indecision.

"Yeah, alright," I conceded. I could find the room again. After breakfast. "Say," I said, and we made our way to the great hall. "Have you ever found a room in Hogwarts with huge windows overlooking the forbidden forest? There's a window seat and the ceiling is all pointed."

James tilted his head, thinking.

"I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

I shrugged.

"I was wandering the halls last night and I found it. I'd never seen it before. Care to come with me after breakfast?" We entered the great hall.

"Sure," he grinned.

We sat down and quickly devoured our breakfasts. McGonagall managed to nab us and give us our schedules for the year and then we were off.

We made small talk as we made our way to the seventh floor. I told him I'd hung up his doodles in my bedroom and he laughed saying that if I wanted wall art he could draw me something better than that. We compared schedules and found that we had almost the exact same schedule, just like last year. I didn't know whether to be happy or annoyed.

We reached the seventh floor and I raced to the tapestry. I stood stock still. The door was gone. Just a blank wall stood mocking me. I looked up and down the corridor, making sure I hadn't remembered it in the wrong spot. James caught up to me and stared when I was staring.

"You're sure this is where it was?" he asked, tilting his head at the wall.

"Positive," I said, defeated. "That so peculiar..."

After a few minutes, we headed back down to the third floor to meet up with the rest of friends to compare schedules.

"It's so odd," I said for the hundredth time. "I fell asleep in that room, but I woke up in my dorm. How is that possible?" I mused.

James shrugged.

"I dunno. The whole thing is weird. Are you sure you didn't have a crazy, feast-induced dream last night?" he said, without any hint of teasing.

"I'm sure. It was too real," I said, shaking my head.

The rest of the day passed by quickly. I had a pretty nice Monday schedule. Charms, transfiguration, potions, and herbology. All the teachers were various measurements of happy and defeated the first day. The same could be said with the students.

I couldn't stop thinking about that room. I had never heard of a room that could move before. I had asked around if anyone had ever seen the room before, but no one had.

I was determined to go back that night at the same time and wait to see if it showed up again.

So I did.

That night, I waited until it was a few minutes past midnight and I made my way through the halls to the seventh floor. I sat down under the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy and waited. It had been much later that I had arrived the night before, I had taken my time waltzing the halls of Hogwarts, so I decided I would wait until one o'clock in the morning.

I don't know how long I sat there, waiting, hoping that it would show up, but it never did. I waited until one and then waited a little bit more. My watch showed two o'clock before I finally moved. The door hadn't shown up.

I accepted defeat and slowly made my way back to the common room. I tiptoed up the stairs and collapsed onto my bed. I was asleep the second my head hit the pillow.


	63. Some Thought on the Matter

"Can anyone remember the incantation for the spell that transfigures a person's hair into antlers?" professor McGonagall asked, sharply. It was the second day of school and students were still restless having not gotten used to school quite yet. Chatter buzzed around the room.

I was sitting next to Lily who was taking rapid notes despite McGonagall having not really said anything yet. I glanced at them. She was copying all the review on the chalkboard. I sighed.

At a desk slightly to my front left, James and Sirius were chattering away laughing and attempting to be quiet about it. They were failing abysmally.

"Mr Potter!" professor McGonagall shouted. He turned his head, still grinning from ear to ear. He cleared his throat.

"Yes, professor?" he asked far too airily. McGonagall seethed.

"You seem to be having a very interesting conversation with Mr Black there. Perhaps it had something to do with the lesson?" Her lips pressed into a thin line.

"Oh, no. We were talking about Sirius' despicable mother," James said again with an uncaring nature. McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

"Hm. Well, if you're confident enough to have a full conversation during my class, could you at least tell me what I was talking about a few moments ago?" Her fingers were splayed out across her desk, her standing, a very challenging stance.

"That seems a bit redundant, professor. Don't you already know that?" James managed to stay airy with death staring at him from a desk.

"Potter. I shall not repeat myself," she stood up straight and crossed her arms over her chest.

"It's anteoculatia," he waved his hand, nonchalantly. McGonagall gave him a curt nod and went on with the lesson. James donned a smug smile and crossed his hands behind his head, leaning back in his seat. He caught my eyes and I rolled mine. He winked and blew me a kiss. In reply, I turned forward, dedicating myself to taking notes.

"She's going to kill you if you keep pulling stunts like that," I shook my head as James caught up to my side as the hallways quickly became choked with students the bell having just rung, moments before.

"Ah, she won't. Minnie loves me," he said grinning and wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I was having none of that, so I pulled away from him. He smiled and put his hands in his pockets.

"Don't be too sure." We had to weave through the masses as we made our way to potions. Sirius and Remus were behind us, chatting. I smiled at this. Lily, Mary, and Marlene were ahead of us, talking and giggling. Someone from behind us rushed forward and wrapped an arm around Mary's waist. She startled and then laughed seeing who it was. Gideon and her were still going strong it seemed. I was happy for them.

We sank ever deeper below the school, descending to the potions room. Slughorn was waiting outside greeting everyone. He wore a large smile as James and I walked through his doors.

"Hello! Two of my best students. How was your summer?" he asked, jovially.

"It was good," I said with a smile.

"Great," James said simultaneously. We stood there, awkwardly for another moment or so before Slughorn ushered us through. We looked around to find seats. Lily and Marlene were sitting with each other and Mary was sitting with Gideon. Remus, Sirius, and Peter were behind us so that meant...

James grinned at me and sat down, patting the seat next to him. I sighed made a silent prayer and sat down. He grinned and was about to say something before Slughorn called for attention. In front of us, Sirius and Remus were sitting with each other. Peter had grabbed a seat somewhere behind us, so I didn't know who he was sitting with.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!" Slughorn greeted us. The classroom quieted. "This year we are going to do something a little different. At least for this first quarter. We're going to be working on projects! You will have partners..." James nudged me. I ignored him. "...I will assign your partners—" A collective groan went up throughout the classroom. "Oh, don't give me that. I've put a lot of thought into these partners, it'll all work out. I'm going to explain the project before I tell you your partners though."

He ducked beneath his desk for a moment rustling around for something.

"Aha!" he straightened up. He was holding a potted plant in his hands. I tilted my head. I had never seen a plant like that before. "This is what we'll be working on this year," he said, proudly holding up the plant. "Have any of you ever heard of potion infused Dacian plants?" No one had. Even I hadn't. I was intrigued.

"The Dacian plant is a curious thing," Slughorn went on when no one raised their hands. "It is a plant originated from the Getae or the Daci people. Their properties are fantastic. You plant it and when it matures that is when you can start changing it. Instead of watering it, you give it potions and then the plant can take the properties of that potion and soak it into its leaves. You can do multiple potions, for example, this plant consists of the pepper up potion, burning bitterroot balm, a simple cough potion, and some drowsiness draught. If you were to eat one of the leaves or make a tea out of them whilst you were ill, you would immediately feel soothed and feel the effects of all these potions. It is a remarkable plant." He grinned at all the students.

"That is your project. To make at a minimum of three potions that have to make sense together and water one of these plants with your potions for up to a month. Then you will write a paper on why you chose those particular potions and then you eat one of the leaves and record the effects. We will be working on this project for about two months so you have plenty of time. Class time will be for developing your ideas and making the potions. You have to begin watering your plants by October. That's pretty much it. Lemme grab..."

He ducked down again, shuffling through papers. He mumbled to himself. All of a sudden, he popped back up, clutching a sheet of parchment in his hands.

"Found it! I'll be listing your partners, so pay attention, I don't want to have to repeat myself. Jacob Harvey and Freya Carr... Samuel Reynolds and Hunter Finlay... Mary Macdonald and Gideon Prewett..." I saw the pair laugh and smile. "...Remus Lupin and Sirius Black..." Oh, perfect. I hoped they'd get somewhere. "...Lily Evans and Conal Delaney..." Hm. I'd never really met him before. He seemed nice. She seemed happy that he was a Gryffindor given her... _situation_ with the Slytherins at this point. Slughorn was mixing house partners quite a bit it looked like. "...Peter Pettigrew and James Potter..." James looked disappointed for a split second, glancing at me, but he quickly turned around and high-fived Peter who seemed extremely relieved to be with a friend. "... Marlene Mckinnon and Jordan Riggs..." Jordan was a Slytherin but he didn't seem to mind Marlene at all.

A bunch of other names. He still hadn't called my name yet. "...Iris Brooks and Regulus Black..." Oh. I glanced over at the Slytherin side of the room. Regulus looked at me a shrugged, smiling slightly. So slightly, no one else but me could tell he was actually smiling. Except maybe perhaps Sirius. I saw Sirius stiffen when his brother's name was called. I gave Regulus a thumbs up and waited until Slughorn was done calling names.

"Alright. Now I want you to move seats and sit with your partners," Slughorn said. I gathered my things and made my way over to the Slytherin side and sat down next to Regulus. He actually grinned now that no one was paying attention to him.

"This sounds like a fun project, hm?" I smiled. He nodded.

"Great! Everyone settled? Good. The rest of class can be used to brainstorm. You won't be getting your plants until you have all your potions brewed, so don't worry about that just yet. Get going!"

"What do you think?" I asked as the room started buzzing with talk.

"I dunno. What do we want this plant to do? Heal injuries?"

"Hm... I'm not sure. Let's research," I got out my textbook and he quickly copied me. I ran my finger through the table of contents. Ageing potion, Alihotsy potion, Amortentia, Angel's trumpet drought, Anti-Paralysis potion, Antidote to common poisons, Antidote to uncommon poisons, Antidote to Veritaserum, Babbling beverage, Baneberry poison, Brain elixir... the list went on and on.

Regulus and I spent the good part of the class debating ideas. We had decided it couldn't cause anything bad because we'd have to test it in the end, but that was all we could figure out. Just before the bell rang we decided to do some of our own out-of-class research and re-convene on Friday, the next time we had potions class.

As the bell rang we fist-bumped and we walked out, chattering all the way. Once we got out of the hallway we bid each other goodbye as we were going in different directions and I set off for the great hall as it was my lunch hour. Someone grabbed my arm.

"I noticed you and Reg seemed to get along well," Sirius said, walking beside me. He seemed a little stiffer than usual.

"Oh. Yeah, I've seen him around the Three Broomsticks a couple of times. We've talked before," I said, lying just a little bit. Not enough to make me guilty.

"Oh. Okay," Sirius said. He didn't say much more as we entered the great hall.

"Hey, Sirius. You wouldn't... I dunno... happen to like guys, would you?" I said, offhandedly. Sirius stumbled a bit.

"Uh... I dunno. Why do you ask?" he managed.

"Well, Remus is sorta... you know what, nevermind," I said, waving my hand around. Sirius grabbed my arm.

"Remus what?" he said, trying to be cool about it but ultimately failing.

"Oh, it's nothing. I don't know why I said anything," I said. "If you're interested you should talk to him." I winked and moved on, leaving him in a state of shock. He swivelled his head around and I giggled quietly as I made my way over to the girls.

They were talking about their potions partners.

"I'm just happy I'm with Gid," Mary was saying. "Though it might get annoying after a while..." Gideon, who was sitting next to her, tickled her and she laughed uncontrollably. "I'm kidding! I'm kidding," They kissed.

I sat down next to Lily who was eating a chicken sandwich.

"Jordan isn't bad, he's a gentleman really," Marlene said, boorishly, swirling around her iced tea. I raised an eyebrow.

"Really? He didn't seem like that. I thought he was a creep, to be honest," I said.

"That's what I thought too, but nope. Apparently, his family owns a huge company in Wales. Very high society kind of stuff, so he's well-bred," Marlene got an evil gleam in her eyes. "He might not be once I'm finished with him..." Lily quickly diverted the conversation.

"Conal is nice too. He's a bit loud, but he's got a brain at least," she said, taking another bite of her sandwich.

"That's good. I'm happy I'm with Regulus, he's smart and friendly so I dodged a bullet on that one. Potter was giving me the side-eye," I said, rolling mine.

"Really? The way Sirius talks about him, he's Satan himself," Lily said her brow knitting.

"Eh. I think Sirius is taking out his hatred for his parents on him. His parents deserve it, but Reg is sort of caught in the crossfire." I said, grimacing.

"How'd you know that?" Marlene asked, surprised. Everyone around me was looking at me in shock. I blinked.

"We're friends. We'd meet up on Saturdays after I got out from working in the Three Broomsticks," I said. Everyone around me seemed uneasy. Lily was biting her lip. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't think you should trust him..." Lily said. Everyone was nodding.

"Why not? I'd say I know him better than any of you," I said, getting a little defensive.

"Well... you know... he hangs out with the wrong sorts. Everyone knows Lucius and Narcissa became death eaters the second they got out of Hogwarts," Mary said, glancing around, speaking quietly.

"Yeah, I know, but Reg isn't like that. He was never _really_ friends with them, but he had no one else to talk to. No one else wanted to insult the Black family so no one ever tried to be his friend for fear," I said, frowning. "You're all just prejudiced like every other student here. You all think Slytherins are awful people who don't care about anyone other than themselves. But you're _wrong_ , I'm telling you. Reg is a good person."

"It's not that, Iris. I've just been in a similar situation. You never know... Severus was the same way. I thought he was my friend, but he never really was. I don't want to see you hurt. Just promise me you'll be careful," Lily said, creasing her eyebrows.

"Yeah, sure..." I said, stabbing my fork into my food, moodily.

They didn't understand. Sure, Snape and him were similar in a few ways. They both hung out with the wrong people, but that was it. Regulus was actually a good person. I knew from his letters, I knew since day one. He was genuinely a good person and I was determined that everyone would know that.

They were so involved with their own ideas of things that they didn't stop and think that maybe they believed it just because that's what they'd been told, not because of what they learned. I understood Lily's hesitance and everyone else's, but one Slytherin doesn't speak for the whole house.

Regulus was no different from any of my other friends. They'd see. I was determined.


	64. New Additions

It was the start of the year, and two of our Gryffindor team had graduated. It was time for tryouts. Per usual, James had scheduled the tryouts early in the morning. It was his personal idea that if you wouldn't get up early for a tryout, you wouldn't get up early for practice. It made sense.

It was pretty acknowledged that I was basically the co-captain with James, which was both a beneficial thing and an unfortunate one. It was Five thirty in the morning. Tryouts would probably last until eleven, just because we had to open all the positions except James' in the hypothetical event that we would want to replace anyone. In my opinion and in James', that wasn't going to happen. We just needed a seeker and a keeper.

We had a vast array of students. Most were there for the seeker and keeper positions except the select few who thought they could perform better than either Fabian, Gideon, Sirius, or I. I was munching on marmalade toast at the moment. Breakfast had not yet been served, it was far too early for that, but I had snuck into the kitchens.

"Alright! Let's get started. Those of you who are up for a chaser position line up here. Those trying for beater, over there. Keeper over there, and seeker just beyond them. Hurry it up now," James said. It was not often that James assumed a leadership role or _any_ authoritative, mature position, but quidditch captain was definitely one of them.

The cast array of gryffindors lined themselves up. They were a motley bunch, clutching their broomsticks, but a few seemed promising.

"We'll be going in this order;" James gestured at me. I was holding a clipboard with a chart of every students' name and a blank spot beside the names for notes. The names were separated into sections based on what positions they would be trying out for. I flipped to the back page.

"First, chaser. Second, beater. Third, seeker. Fourth, keeper. We will call out your names individually and James will tell you what to do after that." I nodded and James who smiled at me, but then turned back to the students.

"So, chasers. I want you to do a couple of loops around the pitch and then we'll work a little bit with the quaffle. You'll shoot a total of five shots against me and that'll be all unless I tell you otherwise." He looked at me again, cueing me.

"First person, Davy Bourdillion!" I said, loudly, addressing the chaser group. A broad, brown-haired boy stepped forward. The clipboard said he was a seventh year. He grinned and shook James' hand. James gestured for him to get on the broom. He did so and he did a couple of laps around the pitch.

"A bit shaky," James muttered to me. I nodded and wrote that down next to Davy's name. James then mounted his broom, carrying the quaffle under his right arm, securely. He spoke to Davy, handed him the ball, and flew off toward the hoops. Davy tossed the quaffle back and forth a bit, waiting for James to assume position.

He took his five shots. Three out of the five made it. I made sure to mark that down. The pair flew down, Davy handing back the quaffle and James making his way toward me.

"Not very good tactic-wise, he'll probably be a no," he muttered. "Next person whenever you're ready."

I quickly scribbled everything down.

"Alethea Quinn!" I yelled. A curly-haired girl stepped forward. The volume of her hair was almost intense. It reached her waist and was a jet-black. She was chewing gum. I decided I liked her. She was a fourth year, that's what it said on the chart.

She went through the same routine. James and I were both impressed, but we both agreed that she wasn't better than Sirius or I.

This went on for quite a while. Sabina Gunnarsen was an unusually tall, straight-haired blonde fifth year who managed four of her five shots but was admittedly unimpressive in everything else. Sylvaine Amador was a fourth year, red-haired, but didn't come to par with our current chasers. Evan Rigby was a small bespectacled second year who was shockingly terrible. This went on and on for quite some time before our last chaser, Midge Ostberg finished up, ending by falling off her broom completely.

James and I had both unofficially decided to keep our current chasers.

Next was beaters. This was a slightly smaller group, but only in number. The people here were on average twice the size of our chaser tryouts.

"Alright beaters. I want you to do a couple of loops around the pitch as well and I'll give you a bat and I'll let out one bludger and fly around, see how you do protecting me and hitting me, depending on what I tell you to do. Got it?" The group of students nodded. "Go on, Iris."

"Alison Matsuoka," I yelled. A muscled girl stepped forward. Shorter than everyone else, but eyeliner sharp enough to kill. She was chewing gum. She did her laps and while she was rather good at hitting James, she wasn't very good at protecting him. I scribbled notes down.

"Anton Drake," I called once Alison had touched down. A broad, spiky-haired boy shoved his way forward. He was large, at least three heads taller than me and hands the size of a dinner plate. James apprehensively shook hands with him. Anton got into the air and while he was impressively intimidating, he was not very good at anything.

"Unfortunate. I would've liked to see Emma Vanity's face when she saw him," James muttered to me. I laughed, imagining the Slytherin captain's expression.

Mable Greer was next, platinum white hair, overall, terrible. Colin Irvine was promising, but he didn't match Fabian or Gideon at all. Thom Fitzroy was not great either, Ellie Gail-Wortham was entertaining, but nowhere near the Prewett twins' skill. Same said for Florence Menendez, Jenna Ji-Min, Caden Alderik, Ishbel Eachman, and Vincent Athol. All pretty good, but not as good as the twins.

"Seekers! Let's go," James said. He leaned down and muttered to me. "Diligent notes now. We need some good players to replace Genevieve." I nodded. He began to address the seekers again. "Alright. same as the other two groups, a couple of laps and then I will let out the snitch and time how long it takes for you to catch it. First person..." He looked at me expectantly.

"Chester Hayes!" I called. A tall, skinny boy came forward, nose and cheekbones as sharp as a knife. He did his laps. James set the snitch loose. Now, this was the really time-consuming part. All the seeker hopefuls would have to do this and if they wanted a re-do, they would have to wait until everyone was done, including the keepers. It took Chester about eighteen minutes and forty seconds to catch it. A reasonable time.

"Loane Merche," was next. She did well, about twenty-one minutes. Not awful, but certainly not fantastic.

Viviana Scott was a little wobbly, but that was more from nerves than anything. She caught it in about sixteen minutes. Jacklyn Sasaki was good, but it took her twenty-five minutes and fifteen seconds. Emeric Darcy took sixteen minutes and fifty-two seconds, Kyle Spears was terrible, thirty-six minutes, and Antonia Aspen took twenty-three.

"Lacey Eline," I called. For a second, nothing happened, but then a small, short, unassuming girl stepped forward. I checked my clipboard. She was a second year. Oof. This better be good. She had short cropped hair, strawberry blonde. She was very short and very adorable, dressed in all pastels.

Her broom was twice her height which added to her ludicrous nature. She stepped confidently up to James who peered down at her, trying to avoid laughter. Her death glare and raised eyebrow cut his amusement short, however. She clambered onto her broom and took off at high speed, finishing her laps in record time. I could tell James was impressed. I was too, but that was just laps.

James called Lacey back. She stood on the ground as James let go of the Snitch. It darted around for a moment, but quickly launched itself into the sky, everyone losing sight of it. Lacey climbed back onto her broom and James started the stopwatch. She launched into the air. James walked over to me to take a look at my notes.

"She's good," I said. James nodded, absent-mindedly. We watched Lacey for a few minutes. "How long do you think she's going to take?"

"I dunno, but—" A sudden whoop of laughter cut James off. Lacey was high in the sky, her fist triumphantly in the air. James clicked his stopwatch and glanced at its face in shock. The crowd murmured as Lacey touched down, showing off her proof. The snitch. I glanced at the stopwatch. Five minutes and twenty-seven seconds. I gaped.

"No way," James gaped, taking the snitch from her. She was grinning, satisfied. "No way. There's no way. Do it again," James said. Lacey blinked.

"Well, okay," she said, grinning. James let go of the snitch again and waited for it to disappear before clicking the stopwatch. Lacey launched back into the air, her face determined. Everyone was watching her, awestruck. James had his hand over his eyes, gazing into the sky, all the time muttering 'no way. Merlin, there's no way'. What felt like seconds and Lacey had her fist in the air again, soaring down toward us.

James gaping at the stopwatch, eyes bulging.

"What's the time?" I asked. Instead of answering, he just tilted it toward me. It read two minutes and sixteen seconds. My jaw dropped. Lacey landed and James snatched the snitch from her hands inspecting it, making sure it was the same one he let go. It was.

"Merlin, you're good," James said, shaking Lacey's hand. She just smiled sweetly and went back to the group sitting down in the grass with the finished people. I silently starred Lacey's box. "A second year!" James was talking under his breath. "Unbelievable..."

The rest of the tryouts for seeker were forgettable. We then moved on to keepers.

"Louis Banes," was first. A very good start, but a rather unfortunate finish. I won't specify how. Kyla Bishop was pretty good, not great, but good. She protected the hoops three out of the five shots James made at her. Della Albertson was not great. She only saved two out of her five. Sad really, she was such a good flier. Roland Blair was just bad. We weren't going to talk about that. Regan Alyse was good, but again, pretty average. Allen Kilian was also good, three out of five.

"Nausicaa Kamau," I called out. I looked up, wondering the origin of the name. Out stepped forward a girl who looked of African descent. She had dark black hair, worn naturally. She smiled confidently and shook James' hand. She was a fourth year apparently, but she looked older than that. She took to the air and set a steady pace.

She hovered in front of the hoops, deliberating and James tossed the quaffle hand to hand, airily. James was a very good chaser, he knew exactly how to fake and how to strategize. He zoomed at Nausicaa. She didn't even bat an eyelash. He streaked toward her right, but she made no move. At the last second, James shot toward the left hoop, the opposite one he was aiming at.

A split second, so fast you couldn't even comprehend it, Nausicaa had the quaffle. James took it back and squared up for the second shot. She saved it. The third and fourth both saved as well, each throw by James getting steadily more difficult. Nausicaa didn't even look like she was breaking a sweat. James narrowed his eyes and carefully shot his fifth shot.

He faked and shot to the middle. It was in her hand. He tilted his head and said something to her. She grinned and tossed the ball back to him. They started down, but before they had even moved a foot, James tried for another shot. Nausicaa didn't even look up, she caught the ball without looking. James grinned and said something to her. She laughed.

I marked down her score, six out of six shots saved.

After that, we were done. None of the seekers wanted to try again, which as good because we already knew exactly who that was going to be. James and I deliberated. We allowed Sirius, Fabian, and Gideon to state their opinions and they agreed with us.

After about fifteen minutes, James stood and raised his hands for attention. The pitch quieted down.

"The new Gryffindor team in set up as follows," he was reading from my clipboard. "Chasers, Iris Brooks, Sirius Black, and me. Beaters, Fabian Prewett and Gideon Prewett..." James paused waiting for total silence before continuing. "The new gryffindor seeker... Lacey Eline, second year." A roar went up and Lacey strutted forward, shouldering her broom and joined us. "As for the new gryffindor keeper... Nausicaa Kamau, fourth year." Another cheer went up and the grinning girl joined us. "Thank you all for coming, now go eat lunch!" James yelled to the crowd, who laughed.

Our new team all high-fived each other. James sidled up to me as our team made our way to the castle.

"This is probably the best team we've ever had," James said, confidently.

"I agree, we've got an insane amount of talent," I shook my head, still shocked. We entered the castle. We quickly made our way to the great hall. Enticing smells tortured us before we dug in a few moments later.

I quickly discovered that Lacey was the most cutthroat sassy, sarcastic person I had ever met in my entire life. The conversation between her and Sirius I couldn't even _understand_. Nausicaa was slightly more chill, but she too was a sass master and used it to her full advantage. She was confident and strong-willed.

This was going to be a _very_ interesting season.


	65. Have Your Poison and Eat it Too

"Okay, so. Here are my ideas," I whispered to Regulus, who was sitting directly across from me. We were sitting in the library, under the nose of Madame Pince who was watching the students roam like a hawk. We both had a small stack of parchment in front of us, both scattered with notes and various pieces of jargon and Jabberwock. His, neat and organized, little crisp arrows and dotted lines making notes to the sides and connecting ideas, mine a scattered array of multi-layered, overlapping words, scribbles and dots of ink every-which-way. "I have a list of options for a sweet and/or vivid dreams kind of plant, one for protection of virtually all poisons, and a few other ideas that I don't really like. What about you?" I motioned for him to speak.

"Uhm... I have an idea for a plant that can heal almost all minor injuries. Bruises, cuts, abrasions, burns, replenishing blood, etc. Useful. I have another one for something that could potentially allow you to breathe fire, but I haven't studied the ramifications thoroughly enough... and I have one more, for protection. Sort of like protego, but not just spells." I tapped my chin.

"Merlin, these are some pretty good ideas. I don't know, what do you think?" I looked up at him. He looked thoughtful.

"I'm rather interested in the protection one, just because it's completely theoretical. We'd need to test it first because it might not work." He hummed, thinking a bit more. "I am really interested in your poisons one. Nearly every poison you said? What potions are you thinking of using? Any spells?" I lifted up my notes again, double checking.

"Antidote to common poisons, antidote to uncommon poisons, Reparifors, Skele-gro, Blood-replenishing potion, and strengthening solution. I was thinking to demonstrate how it worked, we could cut ourselves, just a little bit, maybe a paper cut, and then it would heal it. Or, even better, we could brew a minor poison, drink it, and then quickly eat the plant." Regulus' eyes widened.

"That's brilliant! If we did something like that in front of the class we'd have an easy O for sure." he grinned, as did I.

"I knew you'd like that idea. So are we settled? It's two more potions than required... plus a spell." I double-checked the potions list.

"Maybe we could knock out the strengthening solution. It doesn't seem super necessary," Regulus suggested, looking over at my parchment. I tilted it so we could both read it.

"Hm, I don't know. It would be a pretty good thing to have, supposing someone was actually poisoned and there was a period of time between when they were poisoned and ate the leaf. Maybe the skele-gro?" I mused. Regulus bit his lip.

"Maybe. I was sort of interested in the potential properties the plant would take on from that... but you're right. It doesn't really belong on this list," he said, finally nodding. I got out a quill and scribbled out 'skele-gro'.

"Perfect. We can start brewing today," I said, with a grin, shoving my notes into my bag. Regulus did the same with his, but more carefully. The bell rang. "See you later."

"Bye!" Regulus waved as we both set off in different directions. I was headed for Defense Against the Dark Arts. I buckling my satchel when an arm snaked out from behind a tapestry to my left. I stopped and glared at it for a moment, hand on my hips, eyebrow raised, accusingly. It beckoned a little faster. I sighed, rolled my eyes and jumped behind the tapestry into secluded darkness.

"What are you doing?" I said, unamused. James' grinned at me, his glasses reflecting the little line of light coming from the edge of the tapestry.

"Not much," he said, with a roguish smirk. I pursed my lips, looking around the small passage.

"Right, and I'm a hippogriff. Where are the other three?" I glared at him, not so casually moving my hand. he had tried to grab it.

"Out," he said, simply, leaning against the dirt wall. His hands were in his pockets. He lifted one to run it through his hair making it properly dishevelled.

"You make it sound like they're grocery shopping," I said, with a quiet laugh. We were speaking in hushed tones. We could hear people walking the hall just beyond the tapestry.

"Well, that's not exactly it," James grinned, leaning off from the tapestry and leaning next to me instead. I closed my eyes for a moment, exasperated.

"Then what is it?" I crossed my arms across my chest. James smirked, putting a hand on the wall and turning to lean over me. I looked up at him, defiantly.

"They're pulling off a prank," he said, quietly, biting his lip.

"You don't say?" I said, sarcastically, throwing my hands into the air. He laughed for real that time. I reached up and covered his mouth with my hand. "Shut up, someone will hear us." He was still grinning, I could tell. I dropped my hand.

"Did you want to be a part of it? You still can if you want," James said. He looked over to the right, down the dark, dark passageway, where I was beginning to hear someone, multiples persons headed our way. I looked over as well. James had removed his hand from the wall and was staring intently down the passage.

"And how might I help?" I said, quietly. My heart was picking up its pace, apprehension in my tone. The sound didn't sound like just humans any more. There was... something else.

The noise suddenly got much louder, like whatever it was had just turned a corner. Three figures sped our way. I immediately recognized their shadowed outline. Sirius, Remus, and Peter sprinting as fast as they possibly could. I felt James grab my hand as they neared, their faces pure excitement and unadulterated fear all at the same time. Sirius was whooping.

"By running," James said, speaking over the noise. He grabbed my hand tighter and we burst out of the passage, but not before I got a good look at what was barreling down toward us.

" _Nifflers_? Really James? Really!" I screamed as we ran down the hall toward the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. "How many, James? How _many_?"

"About fifty I should think!" James was shouting too.

"You ignoramus," I swore as we neared the classroom. "If I get in trouble for this, I blame you!" We launched ourselves toward the door and quickly shut it behind us. The classroom swivelled to look at us. We were flushed and pretending that everything was fine. Professor Avram looked at us, his large nose pointed in our direction, his wand poised toward the blackboard. We had very obviously interrupted.

"Well?" he said in his sharp, accented tone. "Take your seats." We nodded, hurriedly, James allowing me up the aisle first. We slid into two empty seats in the back. We were still breathless, but we were trying to hide it.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot," I muttered as we listened to professor Avram lecture.

"Talking about me?" James said, whispering. He had a self-satisfied smirk on his face that was begging me to smack him. Instead, I settled for kicking him from underneath the table. "Ouch! Meanie." James stuck out his tongue. I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously, I'm going to be so mad if I get in trouble for this," I muttered, finally taking out my quill and parchment.

"I could pay you back," he said. I raised an eyebrow.

"I'm listening..." I said, looking at the blackboard.

"Would a kiss suffice?"

"I'm no longer listening..."

"Aw, c'mon, love. A kiss from me wouldn't be _that_ bad. I'd like to believe I'm a rather good kisser," he grinned at me. I ignored him.

"I'd _pay_ you _not_ to kiss me," I said, disgusted.

"Now that's just hurtful," James pouted. "I was—" The door to the classroom slammed open. Everyone looked up to see a dishevelled professor McGonagall, her normally tight bun was frizzed and her glasses were askew. She was holding a niffler by the scruff of its neck. It was scuffling about, trying to grab her gold wristwatch.

"Potter! _A_ _word_ ," she said, her eyes narrowed. "You too miss Brooks."

"Merlin's—!" Just imagine a bad word there.

"Language missy," James said waggling a finger at me. I kicked him in the shin again. He hopped all the way down the steps.

I had detention. Friday night, cleaning and dusting the trophy room. With Potter. I wanted to scream. The other three were re-shelving books in the library. I was beyond aggravated.

I ranted all of this to Regulus during potions. I could tell he was trying very hard to suppress his laughter. I scowled.

"Ugh. Jerk. Not even sorry for me," I elbowed him. He laughed out loud this time.

"I'm sorry, that's just so funny," he snorted.

"It's really not," I said, nose in the air, this time it was me trying to suppress giggles.

"You're right. Not funny in the slightest," Regulus managed to say with a straight face before laughing again.

"Whatever," We were brewing our first potion. We had ordered them in order from longest making time to shortest. Right now, it was the blood-replenishing solution. We were one of the first pairs to be brewing already, most of the other groups were still deciding on their potions. James and Peter were already brewing. So were Lily and Conal were hard at work. They seemed to be further along than anyone else. Snape and his partner were a pretty close second though.

it was nearing the end of the class period at this point. Which was okay, the potion needed to sit for at least twenty-four hours and then we had to add the last few ingredients. I turned off the bunsen burner and set it on the counter off to the side.

We weren't getting our plants until two weeks in, and according to our rough schedule, it would take three weeks to brew all of the potions. Then all we had to do was water the plants three days every week for five weeks and we were done. The three days meant that one of us would have to come in on Sunday to water it.

I looked over James. Somehow, he looked over at me at the same moment. I gave him an annoyed look, to which he returned with a jaunty nod and a grin. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Regulus, resuming our conversation. Five minutes later, the bell rang. It was my last class of the day, so I immediately headed for the common room.

I needed to finish an astronomy essay due next Wednesday. My first Wednesday astronomy lesson back had been torture. Every Wednesday at midnight, the sixth years had to go to the astronomy tower for a lesson. It had been awful, and even worse, I had forgotten to wear a coat.

Needless to say, I was not looking forward to the essay. I sat next to Lily who was sunk into the couch in the common room.

"Lils, do you have the notes from astronomy last Wednesday?" I said, leaning my head on her shoulder.

"Yeah! Lemme get it," she leaned down and sorted through her neatly organized satchel. She pulled out a sheet of parchment with her tiny scrawl inked on both sides.

"Thanks, you're a life-saver Lils," I said, tugging a bit of her hair. She smiled and rolled her eyes, returning to her own homework. Charms. Luckily, I had finished that yesterday.

"So, I heard you got detention today," Lily said, looking through her notes. I groaned, sinking into the couch even more.

"Look, it wasn't my fault I wasn't even a part of it, Potter roped me into it without me realizing. I literally did nothing except flee the scene," I said, raising my arms in defence. Lily laughed.

"What's the punishment?" she joked.

"Clean and dust the trophy room," I sighed.

"Oh, that's not that bad,"

"It's not, but— and I swear she's doing this on purpose—! It's just Potter and me. The other three are re-shelving books in the library. Why she puts me and Potter together every time we get detention, I don't know. But I am done with it. No more!" I said, waving my hands around, energetically. Lily laughed again.

"Well, maybe you won't see him that much. I mean, how much time together can you spend among the bookshelves? You'll be too busy to talk to each other, I bet you anything,"

"Eh. Maybe so," I said, returning to my essay.

Unfortunately, this was not the case.


	66. Taking Words to Heart

"You look simply _darling_ when you're aggravated," James was saying. He was resting his chin on his palm, looking at me with adoring eyes. I wanted to gag. Instead, I settled for smacking him with my dust rag. He recoiled.

"Stop it. I want to be done soon," I said, sharply, returning to a cup awarded to a Mr Sean Montgomery. We had managed to get through around two-thirds of the room, but there was still an entire shelf of golden awards waiting to be dusted. James was not helping the matter. He had taken this detention to be his chance to 'shoot his shot'.

"Ah, but isn't it so pleasant to be working side by side, together, _alone_..." James wiggled his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, we're not really alone, now are we?" Filch was supervising both James and me, and Peter, Remus, Sirius. He was roving between the trophy room and the library.

"No matter. All that matters is that I'm with you." I sighed and gave him a look.

"Potter. Please, focus for once in your life. I have to wake up early tomorrow, I have work at the ministry." I was not excited about the workload. No doubt I had missed quite a bit from the whole week and it would take some time to get caught up. Not to mention, Sunday, I was taking notes for a Wizengamot meeting. It was for the trial of a presumed death eater. Needless to say, I was not excited.

"It's not late yet, it's only ten o'clock!" He said, grinning, carelessly swiping his own dust rag over a plaque.

"And I have to wake up at six! Get to work," I said, pointing. He smirked for a second but listened to me. I managed to dust two more awards before he spoke again.

"What's the real reason you won't go on a date with me? I mean, you've put up with me for five years as a friend, what's the line that I'm not seeing?" James said. He said it loosely like he didn't really care, but I could see his stillness. I paused for a moment, thinking.

"...There are a few things..." I started, not wanting to phrase it rudely. "Don't get me wrong, I like you and you're handsome and genuinely kind and respectful to me... but there are a few things about you morally that I just cannot abide." I stopped, running a few sentences through my mind. "You assume things about people without getting to know them first. Like, for example, the Slytherin house." I saw him stiffen and open his mouth to say something but I raised the finger. "If you want a real answer, I can't have you interrupting me." He closed his mouth. "As I was saying, you and the Slytherin house irks me. More than irks me. I understand your dislike for people like Narcissa and Lucius and Snape and Rookwood, I mean, they're obviously awful people... but I can't stand your hatred for the whole house. I don't know if you know this, but my entire family has been in Slytherin. My mum, my dad, my dad's entire family were super pureblood Slytherins. When I was a kid all I dreamed of was being in Slytherin.

"It's a great house. They value cunning and ambition, both of which are useful skills and both of which you use on a _daily_ _basis_. You never would have been successful in a single prank if you didn't use your own cunning. Another thing, and I say this a lot, you're arrogant. To the point of obnoxiousness. You think you're practically invincible, and the swarm of girls who are obsessed with your suave demeanour and looks don't help you. You're also stubborn, which is okay, honestly, it's fine. But in some cases, it's not. How many girls have you rejected just because you're determined to get me? _Plenty_ of those girls were actually very nice, many of whom I'm sure you would've enjoyed going on a date with or sharing a dance with. Those girls put themselves _out_ there and asked you out, knowing full well you'd probably reject them, and you _did_.

"Just one more thing and I'll be done," I said, looking at him. He was gazing at me with such rapt attention, such intention. I could tell he was listening to every word, taking every single one to heart. "Your pranks. While hilarious and I have loved almost every single one, there's a line, and you've crossed it a couple of times. I am not saying you should quit pranking, you should know that, I love pranking people, it's hilarious. But... a few of them have crossed a line. When the prank becomes a matter of if you could potentially hurt someone or you target specific people, that's when it becomes bad. Think of when you flooded the school from the fifth floor. That had _such_ a huge potential to hurt someone. It's just... you need to be a little more thoughtful. A little more careful. Y'know?"

James was nodding.

"Now for the nicer stuff," I said, grinning. "You, my friend, are a fantastically handsome young man. It's not even funny, it's annoying sometimes. You care about people. You were a huge help when we were trying to help out Moony after we discovered his furry little problem. You are intelligent. A fantastic trait for anyone to help. Other than Remus, I'd have to say you were the biggest help when we created the Marauders' map. You're a really great person, you just need to sort out your morals a bit." James suddenly reached over and hugged me. His arms were wrapped around me so tightly, securely. I laughed and returned the favour. We pulled apart, looking at each other.

"I say this with the most hesitation I ever have, but..." I looked at him seriously. "I genuinely like you. More than just a friend." James' eyes widened. I raised a finger. "It's not a crush. It's just... a teensy little bit more than a best friend. You've got a shot, Potter. Don't screw it up." James grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer.

"I noticed you didn't say anything about flirting. Does that mean you don't actually hate it as much as you say you do?" He was close. I slowly felt my heart pick up speed.

"No comment," I said, wriggling out of his grasp and moving back toward the shelf, intent upon finishing the job we started. I could feel James coming up behind me. I turned, just as he put his arm near my head. He was ever closer still, his other hand was in his pocket. I hoped it was just dark enough to hide my reddening cheeks.

"So, I'm going to interpret that as though you don't mind," James murmured near my ear. 

"I never said I minded," I retorted.

"Good to hear," he murmured, quieter still. I could feel his breath. Damn those eyes of his. They were too beautiful, too golden, too—" The lights shut off. We stood there, in utter silence for a beat.

"Potter. Turn on the lights..." I said, apprehensively, hoping, praying that this was one of his pranks.

"I didn't turn them off," he said, whispering. He had removed himself from me, but he grabbed my hand to know where I was. It was so dark we couldn't see anything at all.

"Should we—" James quieted me. I silenced, straining my ears for a sound. There was a whispering of voices, coming from our right. James tapped my arm and slowly began pulling me away from the whispers. My heart was beating rapidly now, and it wasn't because of James. As we slowly crept along, the voices silenced. James stopped. He had bumped into something.

All of a sudden, there was another hand on me. I swerved and punched blindly. It didn't connect to anything. I was wrenched from James' grasp and there was an arm around my neck and a wand and I was gasping for breath, a bruise forming near my ribs. I heard a scuffle going on near me. James was fighting someone else.

"Leave him," a harsh voice came near my ear. A shiver of fear travelled down my spine. A shot of pure and unadulterated fear stabbed through my heart. The second person stepped away from James. James was rasping, struggling to stand. The person not holding me lit his wand.

James was on the floor, his glasses askew cracks across the lenses like spiderwebs. The person standing, I recognized immediately. Augustus Rookwood stood, with his nose silently dripping blood across his robes. I already knew who was holding me, based on his voice. Antonin Dolohov. But there was another person, who hadn't spoken at all and who I hadn't realized was there. Severus Snape stood, his hands clasped behind his back, a sickening grin on his face.

James stood, carefully watching Antonin Dolohov, glancing at me. Worry flashed across his face. I was gripping Dolohov's forearm, trying for air.

"Let her go," James said, which I thought was quite cliche of him.

"No," Snape said, simply. James' eyes were darting all over the place.

"What are you doing? I haven't even pranked you this year. Yet." James said, a ghost of a grin on his face.

"Actually, we aren't here for you. We're here for her," Snape nodded at me. Dolohov's arm seemed to get tighter. I struggled, the tips of my toes barely brushing the ground. "Feel free to leave." Snape gestured at James. James laughed, his eyes narrowing.

"Fat chance," he said, he had taken out his wand and was pointing it at Dolohov. It was so very hard to breathe now, every strangled breath I managed to take brought tears to my eyes. My mind was attempting to remember when I had put my wand and concentrate on the conversation, but the lack of oxygen left me foggy. I was missing the dialogue. "Let go of her! She's practically suffocating," James yelled. I was glad he did, I was wondering how much longer I could stay conscious.

I barely saw Snape nod before I was released, my knees buckled and I hit the ground hard, sputtering for breath. I was coughing, my ragged throat felt like it was on fire. I barely managed for another breath before I was wrenched back up again, this time by my arms. I was in a lot of pain. James had tried to come forward when I hit the ground, but he was currently being restrained by Rookwood.

"I'm fine James. Don't get injured 'cause of me," said, my throat feeling like sandpaper. "What do you want Snape? Was there not an easier way to talk to me?" I managed to stand now, my brain was less muddled.

"Actually, there wasn't. We had to make sure no one could eavesdrop."

"Yeah, but couldn't you have done that without the whole restraining and beating up part? I'm a generally understanding person," I coughed again. Snape smiled, malevolently. It was sickening to see.

"Yes, but this was more fun." I nodded, pursing my lips.

"Well, get on with it then. What is it that you need?" I said, trying to sound peppy just to annoy him. It worked. A little bit.

"Stay away from Regulus Black," he said simply. My mind raced.

"Why?" Then I realized that was a dumb question. Snape decided to answer it anyway.

"We're trying to recruit him. He is just the candidate we need. Stay. Away. From. Him. He's going to start disliking us."

"Hah. It's too late for that," I said, chuckling a little. Secretly, what Snape was saying terrified me. I knew exactly what he was talking about. There was this new idea coming around. Death Eaters. I hid my fear.

"With the right words and you staying away, we'll get him. I have no doubt. Just keep your distance,"

"That's going to be pretty hard, we're partners in the potion's assignment." Snape just smiled again. Really, he was making me nauseous.

"Tell professor Slughorn to change partners. You're such a goody-two-shoes I'm sure he'd comply," Snape motioned for Dolohov to release me. He did and I rubbed my arms where he had kept his vice-like grip. I was not ready to leave, however.

"Unfortunately, I'm not going to be able to do that," I said, calmly. "Y'see, we're friends." Snape nodded.

"I know that. Stop being friends with him."

"Yeah, sure, I'll do whatever you say, Snape. No problem!" I said, sarcastically.

"You'd better. Or you'll end up with something a lot worse than a sore throat," he said, turning. He beckoned for his goons to follow him out. I shouted after him.

"By the way, Lily says F*ck you!" I saw Snape stiffen, but then move forward and turn into darkness. I slowly felt my resolve crumble. I was in a lot of pain and I was honestly scared. I didn't feel safe. James came up behind me and gently placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he muttered.

"No," I said, my voice cracking. I turned and buried my face into his front, finally allowing my tears to fall. James wrapped his arms around me, murmuring sweet nothings to me, reassuring me that it would all be okay. We stood there for the longest time.

"Do you want a cup of tea or something?" James whispered, finally. I pulled myself away and nodded. He smiled, quietly and grabbed my hand, rubbing it all the way to the kitchens. I was too tired to say anything other than hello to the house-elves. James talked to them and one of them brought us two chairs. They were small little stools, but we accepted them gratefully. My arms were wrapped around my stomach. I felt awful. I felt sick.

"It's going to be okay, Iris. I promise. We won't let them _touch_ Regulus," James smiled. Folly the house-elf handed us steaming cups of warm tea, milk and honey already stirred in.

"Why do you care so much? About Regulus I mean," I said, quietly. James stopped for a split second.

"Because I trust your judgement. I'm going to be honest, I don't trust him. I don't _like_ him, but I can tell you do. And—" he paused. "The only thing I have to judge him by is how his parents treat Sirius. He doesn't talk about him, so I don't know anything, but if you're friends with him and you're genuinely worried for him, then I will be too." He put his hand on my knee comforting me.

"You're really taking my words to heart aren't you?" I smiled, sadly, taking a sip of my tea.

"What can I say? You make some valid points." He grinned and I laughed. I trusted him. And he trusted me. I couldn't wish for anything more.


	67. A Trial for the Damned

"This is pointless," I muttered to Harold. "He's obviously guilty." Harold smiled, grimly.

"Maybe it is, but even the damned deserve a trial." We were in basement level ten, the courtrooms. It was ovular, with tall, menacing risers along its edge. In the middle was a chair where there was sat a man. He was young, yet he seemed decrepit. Beat. Brown hair now laced with grey, cracks and crinkles like canyons across his cheeks. His wrists were secured to the arms of the chair. He was guarded by two dementors.

There were at least twenty roving patronuses situated between the stands and the prisoner. No reporters were seated in the stands, this was a private trial. That didn't mean there weren't reporters elsewhere. There were already hundreds congregating in the atrium, waiting for the verdict. I, of course, was taking notes. Less inconspicuously though. I was sitting exactly to the right of Harold. Luckily, most people's eyes were on the prisoner.

The rest of the stands were taken up by members of Wizengamot. There were a few people off to the side, however, who obviously did not belong. There were three, a young woman who was shaking and every so often glancing at the man in the chair, a small boy, probably about six or seven who was sitting so very still, and an elderly woman who was glaring at the man in the chair. He leered back.

The man who was speaking before, listing the accusations against the man finished and sat down. Harold sucked in a breath and stood.

"You are Mr Amadeus Cordory, yes?" His voice boomed in the room. The snakish man grinned, his smile sharp.

"I am, sir," his voice was wispish, mocking, yet everyone managed to hear it.

"You are twenty-five years old?" Harold asked.

"Yes, sir," Amadeus said. He had a bold posture. The kind that said he believed himself every bit an equal to everyone in the room. Maybe even a little bit more.

"You reside at 365 East Carlington Street, Bermingshire, London?"

"I did, yes," he replied. He glanced around the room. His eyes rested on me for a moment and I sat up straighter, returning his cold gaze. He smiled. An unpleasant shiver ran up my spine.

"What do you plead?" Harold said, sternly.

"Ahhh..." Amadeus' fingers curled and uncurled against his restraints. "Mostly guilty." Harold raised an eyebrow.

"Mostly guilty? Could you be a bit more specific?"

"Let's see... I plead guilty for using the Cruciatus curse on that little boy over there, for putting the Imperious curse on his darling sister, for assisting the dark lord, and for torturing Frida Harlington, Tanis Carlisel, and Ingrid whats-her-name. But—" he paused, glancing over the crowd again. "I did _not_ murder Delphina Cordory." He spoke softly, his head, bowed.

The crowd murmured. This was new. I made sure to jot down his words exactly as he said them, word for word.

"...This is new," Harold said, softer this time. "We will first try you on the crimes you admit guilt to, and then we will return to this later. Mr Amadeus Cordory, state your case."

"Well," he started, shifting around, making himself as comfortable as he could be. "The torture of Frida Harlington was over a year ago. She was married to the late Nathan Harlington whom the Dark Lord was rather interested in. He instructed me to go to their home and... _convince_ him not to reveal some information he had learned about our plans. He had information that had to stay secret. I apparated to his house, but evidently, he had known we would come after him and he had hidden. His wife had not. I tried asking very nicely if she would tell me where he was, but she refused. I eventually used the cruciatus curse on her as well as a few others, mainly sectumsempra, to get the information out of her. I eventually found him, and decided to apparate him to the Dark Lord himself. I do not know what became of him."

"Roughly, what time of year did this happen?" Harold asked.

"Sometime in late summer, August-ish probably," he answered.

"You said over a year ago?"

"Yes, 1975,"

"How do you not know what happened to Mr Harlington?"

"The Dark Lord instructed me to leave the room and he never told me what he did. I wasn't dumb enough to ask."

I was writing everything down, making sure I didn't miss a thing. Based on its popularity as a trial and this strange turn of events, newspapers and people would soon become heavily invested in this trial. Not to mention, this was the first Death Eater we had caught in months. Just being here made me think of what Snape had said to me just two days ago.

"What was this information that was so important?" Harold asked. Amadeus laughed.

"I do not know. The Dark Lord is very secretive in his ways, sir. He doesn't tell his underlings anything. We just do his bidding. All I know is that he somehow figured out the identity of one of the Dark Lord's most prized supporters. I don't know who this person was, but that's the only information I was given."

"Alright. Move on to Tanis Carlisle," Harold said.

As the trial went on, Amadeus had similar stories with Tanis Carlisle and Ingrid Danvers. He was sent to either get information or keep someone from revealing some. Both cases he described himself as using the Crutiatus curse. These went quickly. I scribbled down notes and dialogue and desperately tried not to be sick. It was now time for the main part of the trial.

"Would Terrance Jacksonick, Isabella Jacksonick, and Martha Graves please step forward?" Harold said. The three people off to the side stood and slowly made their way down to the bottom floor, sitting themselves in three chairs that had appeared on the floor. The patronuses changed their pattern so as to protect the witnesses.

"Mr Cordory, what is your relation with these people? Be specific." Harold said. Amadeus' eyes scoured over the three, his grin turned malicious.

"Less than a month ago, I was given the assignment to insert myself into a wizarding family and infiltrate the ministry of magic that way. it was a patchwork plan, but if it succeeded, the Dark Lord might gain some new ground. I wandered around Diagon Alley when I saw these two children. Their parents weren't around, so I came up and pretended to ask for directions. We began talking, and I found out they were parentless, with only their grandma who visited every weekend. During our conversation, I imperioused the boy, making him ask certain questions that led to us coming to the conclusion that we were both very good friends with someone they knew."

It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep up, but I was heartened by the fact the quick-quotes-quill beside me seemed to be taking every word.

"Over the course of a few weeks, I managed to weasel my way into staying at their house. It was quite easy to flatter Isabella and Terrance was already under my control, so it was a piece of cake. Luckily, during all this time, old Graves over there had fallen ill, so no one was visiting the house. I took advantage of Isabella's... kindness and managed to keep my presence there a secret. Unfortunately, I was caught when Martha came over for an unexpected visit. At first, she believed that I was Isabella's... uhm. Pardon, that I was a friend of the family, but she soon grew suspicious and alerted aurors. The rest of the story ends here."

Harold was looking sceptical as was the rest of Wizengamot. Harold didn't ask any further questions, however. Instead, he moved on to the other three on the floor.

"Your name is Terrance Jacksonick?" He asked. The little boy nodded.

"Yes, sir," he said, shakily.

"You are seven years old?"

"Yes, sir,"

"Tell me about what you remember from this ordeal," Harold said. the little boy swallowed.

"I remember Diagon Alley and meeting Amadeus for the first time. He looked a lot younger then. He wasn't so... crinkly," Terrance frowned. "I remember him asking for directions to a book shop and then everything sort of gets fuzzy. I remember him living with us, but it's almost like my mind was erased. I don't remember much until I woke up and I was fighting a big auror. Mr Amadeus was passed out on the floor."

"Alright, thank you, young man. Ms Isabella Jacksonick, please stand." The shaky girl did so, I felt bad for her. She looked terrified and she wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. "You are Isabella Jacksonick?"

"I am," she said, with more confidence than she looked like she could hold.

"You are seventeen years old?" Harold asked.

"Yes, sir," she said. She was standing a little straighter now,

"Would you mind telling your part of the story?" Harold asked. Isabella took a long breath of air.

"Of course... Terry and I were in Diagon Alley, buying some owl food when he came up to us. He did look younger like Terry said. Cleaner. He asked us for directions and we soon began talking. I didn't notice anything odd about Terry, he was normally quiet anyway. Mr Amadeus began... flirting... with me and I let him. You must understand, he didn't look suspicious in any way, nothing gave off the idea that he was a—a... death eater. Over the course of a few weeks, he kept in touch, writing me letters and love notes and flattering me. All this time, I never noticed anything odd with Terrance. He shut himself up in his room, which was a bit peculiar, but he hardly ever talks. I thought he was just moody.

"Eventually, Amadeus mentioned that he was going to be evicted in a few days and I offered to let him stay for a few days while he found a new home. It was never meant to be anything permanent, but he came over and Terry seemed happy, so I didn't have any protest. Over the course of the weeks that he stayed there he—he took advantage of me. Multiple times, but I hadn't ever been in a relationship before. I thought it was normal... I didn't see any of the red flags. Eventually, I realized something wasn't right when Grandmum visited. She sent an owl to the authorities and that's it."

She was shaking so much now. My heart ached for her. She was so obviously hurt and conflicted.

"Thank you, Ms Jacksonick. Would Mrs Martha Graves please stand?" The woman stood, her presence filled the room, her sharpened glare, threatening. "You are Mrs Martha Graves?"

"I am,"

"How are you related to these children?"

"I am their late mother's mum,"

"You are sixty-four years old?" Harold asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"Please state your involvement with the situation." I poised to take notes.

"I was sick for most of the time. I was not with my grandchildren when they went to Diagon Alley, and I did not know they interacted with this man. A few weeks later, I was violently ill. Isabella owled me and told me about her new boyfriend who would be staying at the house until he could get a new home. I, of course, advised against this. She didn't listen, and I finally got better. I immediately headed over to their house to asses the boy. I was immediately suspicious. He looked far too old to be interested in a seventeen-year-old. Not to mention, Terrance barely talked. He's normally quiet, but he's always looking around, always listening. He didn't answer any of my questions.

"I decided to owl the authorities. Nothing felt right. When I gave them a description of Amadeus, they immediately replied saying to keep calm, but keep him in the house, they would be arriving soon. The rest is history."

The rest of the case went by quickly. The rest of the trial concerning Delphina Cordory would take place next Sunday. Amadeus was found guilty for everything brought up today, and he would be incarcerated in Azkaban until they could finish the case.

Harold and I walked up the stairs to the lift, silently.

"Awful..." he said after the gates closed.

"It really was," I agreed.

"Now, I need to remind you before we get to the atrium. You are as much a political figure as I am. In fact, you are pretty much a political pawn in the idea that a young person's interest will spark other people's interest in politics. I want you to talk to reporters. Voice your opinions. Obviously, try to align them with mine, but I don't think that'll be too hard. Give them a little something more than "I agree with the minister" catch my drift?" he smiled, understanding my sigh.

"Alright. Y'know, I never signed up for this," I pointed out. He laughed.

"Are you asking for a raise?" Before I could reply, the lift doors opened up, revealing an ocean of cameras, pens, and reporters. They all began screaming our names as we stepped out.

"Iris! Iris! What is your opinion on the outcome of this trial?" Someone asked.

"I think it's well-deserved. His use of the Cruciatus curse was so disgusting, he _should_ be found guilty." I said.

"Iris! What do you think of the development with Delphina Cordory?"

"I don't know. I'm intrigued, but I don't think it's going to be good. We'll have to see next Sunday."

"Iris! How do you feel about being the voice of the young generation in politics these days?"

"Being the voice? Hardly. I think I am a... unique voice among many other, far more experienced opinions. I take notes, I'm hardly a 'voice for the young generation'."

So many questions, so little time. I was bombarded, one after the other and I slowly made my way back to the wall where the lift straight to the first floor was. I waved and joined Harold who was waiting for me. Pictures flashed as the iron grille closed. We slowly began rising up.

"Oof. I'll never get used to that," Harold said, grinning.

"Someone called me the "voice of the young generation". Hoo boy, I did not feel prepared." We laughed for quite a while until we reached the floor.

"Alright. copy those notes and send them off. After that you're off the hook," Harold said.

"Okay. See you Saturday," I said, grinning.

"See you Saturday," he waved.


	68. Broken Promises

"The voice of the young generation," Remus read loudly from the newspaper he was holding. We were in the Great Hall, eating breakfast. The trial had been front page news, a large picture of Amadeus Cordory above the fold. The article continued for two more pages, the second with a large photo of Harold and I inside the lift, waving to the crowd. This was the page Remus was on. "Wow. Iris, you're going to have to tell me what to think at all times now. I mean, you're my voice." he sassed. I laughed.

"Oh yeah, sure. Personally, I think that as your voice, you should shut up and let me eat." We laughed again, me shoving him from across the table.

"Oi! Moony! Toss me that, will you?" Potter asked, a few people over. Remus did so. Potter began flicking through the pages. I ignored this and continued eating. Just then, Sirius entered the Great Hall, quite loudly with none other than Scarlett Atkinson. I immediately noticed Remus perk up.

Sirius came over, a bit ruffled.

"Hello, good morning," he said, cheerily. Scarlett was giggling next to him, clutching his arm. He nabbed a piece of toast and saluted the table. "Goodbye!" And he and Scarlett walked off, hand in hand. I immediately looked across at Remus, who was trying very hard not to look in the direction the couple had just gone. I coughed. Remus looked up. I gave him a look.

"What?" He said, rather defensively I thought.

"Well? How's Operation Wolfstar going?" I asked.

"What on earth is 'Operation Wolfstar'?" Remus spluttered, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh come on. You and Sirius. It makes sense, your furry little problem, and Sirius is a star. Duh," I said, waving my fork around. Remus immediately went maroon.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, stiffly, buttering some toast.

"You bloody well know _exactly_ what I'm talking about," I snarked. "Come on, it's pretty obvious."

"It is not!"

"So you have decided you're into guys?" I grinned, chin in my hands. Remus frowned.

"I don't know. The only crushes I've ever had have been on girls but..." he trailed off.

"Buuuuuut...?" I drawled. He glared and then sighed.

"It's weird. I really don't know, Iris. He's only ever dated girls. I don't even know if he's... interested," Remus blushed, but desperately tried to hide it behind his glass.

"I'm pretty sure," I said, smirking.

"How?"

"We've talked."

"Then why does he only date girls?"

I shrugged. "I don't really know. According to Prongs, it's because he's teaching the girls what respect looks like, but I don't think that's it. I think it's more about his family. I don't know much about his family but by my judgement, they're 'traditional' if you will."

"So, he wouldn't be interested," Remus pointed out.

"That's not what that means," I counter-pointed. "Look. Give it a try. Just ask him!" He shook his head.

"No, there's no way I could do that. Not out of the blue, there's gotta be some lead-up," he said, sinking further into his slump.

"So flirt!" I said, exasperated. Remus' terrified look almost made me want to crack up. "That's what flirting is for, to tell someone subtly that you're interested." Remus was shaking his head frantically.

"Absolutely not, no way. I can't do that, I'm not smooth at all. It'd be a disaster."

"Aww, just try. What's there to lose?" I reassured him.

"A friendship?" Remus said, looking distressed.

"No," I shoved that thought away. "There's no way Sirius is going to sever a friendship just because you flirt with him. Just give it a whirl, see how it goes." I encouraged him. "I've gotta go, I need to run to the library. I'll see you lot later." I spoke to the whole section of the table made up by my friends.

I was not headed to the library, no. I was trying to find Sirius. Obviously. I was walking through the halls, searching when I passed a broom closet. I was just moving on when I heard a bump from the room. I stopped, and swivelled, looking at it. Another, quieter bump this time. I gritted my teeth and wrenched open the door.

There were Sirius and Scarlett, clearly in the middle of a snogging-session. I kept a straight face as they quickly tried to tidy up to look less incriminating.

"Hey, Roman. Do you mind?" Sirius said, awfully casually for the predicament I had just found him in.

"Actually, I do. Can I talk to you?" I said, smiling at Scarlett, who smiled carefully back.

"I'm sort of in the middle of something..." Sirius said, gesturing back and forth to him and Scarlett.

"Yeah, I see that, but, see, I'm not really giving you an option." I yanked Sirius out of the closet and nodded to Scarlett. "Sorry about this." I dragged Sirius along the corridor as he moaned and complained all the way to an empty classroom. I yanked open the door, shoved him inside and closed the door behind us.

"What's this about, Roman?" Sirius asked, leaning against a desk.

"Are you gay?" I asked, bluntly. Sirius was taken aback.

"Pardon?" he blinked.

"Do you like guys?" I asked, exasperated.

"Er—well..." Sirius was struggling, he was grasping the back of his hair with a fist. "I— I don't know." My face softened.

"I'm not going to judge you or anything," I smiled, comfortingly. Sirius bit the inside of his cheek.

"...I think I am... I _know_ I am... but I've put up with the 'bad boy' image for so long, it's just—it's odd,"

"How long have you known?" I asked him, twiddling my fingers.

"A while. I forced myself not to think about it because I knew my parents would just hate me more and I didn't know how you guys would react... I don't know. It's sad because I've only ever dated girls... like I was forcing myself to act like what people thought I was. I don't know... I've never talked about it before." he laughed awkwardly.

"Why did you keep dating girls even when you knew?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe I was forcing myself to be someone I wasn't. Or what I thought other people wanted me to be. And, it wasn't that hard. It's just I could never force myself to be in a serious relationship. Y'know?" Sirius looked up, smiling sadly.

"Then why the heck were you just snogging Scarlett, an alleged female?" I asked.

"Well. Let's face it, snogging is pleasurable regardless of gender," Sirius grinned.

"Fine. Fine. Whatever," I said, waving my hand around. "Are you interested in Moony?" Sirius immediately turned red.

"Uh... what makes you ask that?" he said, trying to sound confident and in control.

"Because you obviously do, I just want to hear it from you," I raised an eyebrow.

"Merlin, is it that obvious?" Sirius paled.

"No. I'm just very, very observant," I reassured him. "Could you do me a favour though?"

"Um. Sure?"

"Start flirting with Moony. See how it goes." Sirius raised an eyebrow, still courageously fighting his blush.

"Why? What makes you think he feels that same?" Sirius asked, sounding a little apprehensive.

"I can't say. But, just give it a go. Start out subtle, but y'know. You're practically a professional when it comes to flirting, you practically have a degree in Romance 101," I grinned. "Just give it a go." And I promptly left the room.

Merlin. The two most oblivious idiots in the entire school and they had the audacity to fall in love with each other.

I was still trying desperately to avoid any contact with Severus Snape. His surprise 'visit' had left me quite rattled, to say the least. James was still concerned, checking up with me every chance he got. It was quite endearing actually.

After we went to the kitchens, we had headed back to the common room. I rushed up to my dorm, thanking James, but wanting to leave his presence as quickly as possible so I could really cry. I locked myself in the bathroom, placed a quieting spell, and cried for hours. I practically tore out my own hair, I was so scared. I had been threatened, by an almost Death Eater. I was worried for Regulus' sake. I couldn't take it, I was so scared. I was shaking.

The next morning I had to go to work, so I was able to avoid everyone. Harold was obviously concerned, but I told him I had been sick for a while and I hadn't slept well the night before. He didn't completely believe me, but there was nothing he could do.

I was still worried. I had potions today and it would be the first time I interacted with him since Snape's warning. I was not going to treat him differently at all, Snape wasn't scary enough for me to actually do what he said, but I knew I had to keep Regulus safe somehow. Keep him away from their influence.

I entered the potions room, greeted professor Slughorn and immediately sat down next to Regulus.

"Hey!"

"Hey, what's up?"

"Not much. I saw that article of you in the daily prophet. Great job,"

"Thanks," I grinned, ignoring Snape's glare from across the room. Thankfully, Reg didn't notice.

Slughorn quickly got class started and Regulus and I started on adding the final ingredients to our blood-replenishing potion. It had sat for over twenty-four hours. We added the final ingredients and it quickly changed colour, from a murky green-grey to a dark red.

"Fantastic. What were we going to work on next?" I asked. Regulus consulted our notes.

"Uhm... Antidote to Common Poisons," he said.

"Great. Read me the ingredients," I said, taking out my wand.

"One Bezoar, two measure of Standard Ingredient, unicorn horn, mistletoes berries, and all three kinds of cauldrons. Merlin, that's extensive..." I waved my wand and the supplies soared out of the cupboard, settling right on our counter.

"Alright, let's get started," I said, rubbing my hands.

Fifty minutes later and we were still at it. The bell was going to ring any minute now, but we had asked professor Slughorn if we could stay after class because this was our last period and this potion required a timely process. He had agreed.

The bell rang and all the students started picking up and slipping out of the classroom, intent on getting to their common room and either beginning on homework, or laying around, doing nothing. Soon, the entire room was empty. Regulus and I were chattering away, talking and slowly brewing this potion. We were going to finish brewing it in the different cauldrons and then we would save the rest for the next potions class. We were already halfway through with the brass cauldron. After that, we had thirty minutes with the copper cauldron.

"It's super cool that you get to work with the prime minister. What's he like?" Regulus was asking.

"He's really nice, honestly. He's thoughtful. He always takes at least half an hour to think about the difficult cases and bills he has to make word on. He's just great guy," I said, shrugging.

"That's really interesting. You know, it's weird. I don't think I know of any other wizarding kid who has a job except you. That's so odd," Regulus said.

"Right? I think it's just that there aren't wizarding colleges. It's interesting. You graduate and you're immediately expected to get a job even though you're seventeen. It's weird. Muggles do it differently. By like fifteen, sixteen you should have a job to pay or college and get experience. I think their way is smarter, to be honest."

"Yeah, that is peculiar the way we do things," Regulus agreed. "I wonder why there aren't any wizarding colleges."

"It is weird," I said. our conversation trailed off a little bit. "Are still friends with Snape and Rookwood and Dolohov?" I said, suddenly. Regulus paused.

"I guess so. I mean, we aren't close. I'm closer with you than I am with any of them, but we still talk. Our families have known each other for a long time, so it's sort of hard not to be. Why do you ask?"

"I dunno. I've got to be honest, you know I respect your house and I have quite a few good acquaintances in that house, it's just... I don't know. They bother me." I said, biting my lip. Regulus nodded, slowly.

"...That's fair. They are a little extreme. You know, Mulciber attacked someone a few months ago. Their little posse isn't a great group, but you still don't know them very well." Regulus gave me a small smile. I smiled back, but insincerely.

"Yeah, I know. They just seem very... what's the word... extreme I guess? That's not the word I'm looking for... I don't know. Just— be careful They've threatened me a lot in the past and attacked me before. I just don't want you to become like that, you know?" I paused. "And obviously, you're a smart person, I just sometimes get worried. It's irrational, I know, but still."

Regulus was nodding.

"That's fair," he grinned. "I promise I'll never let them affect me."


	69. The Calm Before the Storm

"Ready?" I mouthed to a hidden James. He was crouching in the shadows, at the edge of the doorway to the great hall. It was suppertime. James and I both had a box beside us. Inside, were hundreds of firecrackers, waiting to be lit. James nodded, grinning, his glasses glinting in the candlelight. We both glanced down the hall, where Peter stood, waiting for the signal from Sirius and Remus.

The plan was simple. We were going to slowly, quietly, discreetly flood the entirety of Hogwarts with at least two inches of water. If we did it well enough, no one would notice. That is what Remus and Sirius were working on. Once the water got to the great hall doors, we would freeze it. Once it was frozen, Peter would give us the signal. James and I would then let off all the fireworks, freaking everyone out and getting them to race our of the great hall and slip around.

The water was close at this point. It was coming from both side halls, already past Peter's shoes. The edge was creeping steadily closer. Just as it was barely reaching our shoes, Peter sent off a small shot of red light up the seven floors, to Sirius and Remus. A couple of minutes later, and the water stopped, just before the threshold of the great hall. A few minutes after that, it was frozen solid. James and I carefully extracted our feet from the ice and readied ourselves.

"Now!" I mouthed to James. We took out our wands and pressed them against one firecracker each. They flew into the hall, zipped around for a moment and went out, anticlimactically. Students were gazing up. I almost wanted to cackle. The calm before the storm. James and I immediately grabbed handfuls and handful of firecrackers, barely touching them before they went off, shooting into the hall in the tens. Chaos erupted as fireworks screamed their way through the air, terrifying the students and the teachers.

James and I kept at it, lighting every last one before racing off toward Peter. Students were sprinting their way to the doors, hands over their heads. James and I got just past the hall before the first few students raced by. They immediately slipped. Soon, twenty, thirty, forty kids were piled up outside the doors, fireworks still cracking, some managing to get out of the hall. Kids were screaming and moaning and shrieking. We all high fived and made our careful way to a secret passage, where we knew ice couldn't have formed. We steadily made our way to the portrait hole to grab some very important items.

Remus and Sirius were already there, waiting for us, grinning ear to ear. We all high-fived again and grabbed what we were looking for; ice skates. We pulled them on and made our way outside the common room. We laughed as we raced around, hand in hand down the halls. Our plan was to avoid the teachers, especially Professor McGonagall, but we wanted to skate around for a bit, revelling in our victory. We made our way to an empty, deserted classroom, number four-thirty one and closed the door. We laughed and joked as we swept through the room, avoiding desks, pushed aside from unuse. We felt on top of the world.

This was the first big prank of the year, and we had pulled it off. James grabbed my hand and twirled me around, dancing, skating. I just laughed and laugh until my sides hurt. He put his hand on my waist and pulled me close, keeping me from falling. (Let's just say, I'm not very graceful on ice). We stayed up late into the night until the moon was glowing.

The morning after, ice was still everywhere. There was a black market going on for ice skates, Isi Jamerson had already sold four of her pairs. She was a professional ice skater so she had tons on hand. Everyone was forced to skate everywhere, or at least slide everywhere. The only places where there wasn't ice were the common rooms and the great hall. Everywhere else was covered. The Marauders and I were sitting together at the Gryffindor table. We hadn't been caught, but everyone knew it was us.

We were chatting and eating when owl post came in. Destry was in my dorm room for the time being. He was still too young to be flying around, carrying mail, and I couldn't keep him in my hair all the time. To my surprise, however, and owl handed in front of me, a letter tied to its leg. With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I untied the letter. The owl didn't fly away, instead, it rested itself on my shoulder. I opened the envelope.

_Dear Ms Brooks,_

_I regret to inform you that your mother has taken ill. It's not anything terrible, but I was planning a holiday with my family today, and my replacement just called in to tell me she was sick as well. Would it be possible for you to come just for the day and care for her? You can take my pay off for today. I'll be back by ten o'clock tonight._

_Sincerest apologies,_

_Marta_

The sinking feeling in my stomach got steadily worse. I crumpled the letter in my hand and cursed under my breath. Pulling a clean sheet of parchment from my bag, I began writing a very short reply letter.

_Dear Marta,_

_Yes, of course, I can come. I'll be over in half an hour._

_Sincerely,_

_Iris_

I rolled it up and tied it to the owl's leg. It took off, soaring away through the window in the roof.

"What was that?" Remus asked.

"Nothing," I said, shovelling the rest of my breakfast in my mouth. "My mum has fallen ill, so I'm going to be gone for the rest of today. Bye." I didn't bother to hide my expression. Four weeks into the school year, and I was already going back. Back to the wretched place. I hate her. I felt myself begin to shake but I managed to still it until I got out the double doors. I didn't bother to put on my skates, instead opting to stand and propel myself using a wind spell.

I felt like throwing up. I couldn't go back. No. My head began to pound from the stress of it all. I reached the portrait hole and clambered inside. I wasn't dressed in my school robes yet, thank goodness for that. I grabbed the pouch of floo powder above the fireplace and threw and fistful into the flames. They immediately erupted green. I stepped in.

I yelled the address of my home and was sucked away. I popped back up in my home. I gazed around, taking in my surroundings. I wanted to be sick.

"Oh! Iris, fantastic. Thank you so much, I'm really sorry—" Marta started. I interrupted her.

"It's okay, honestly. Get going, you've got places to be," I encouraged. She smiled and pointed out the medicine on the counter. Then, she left. I lost my fake smile, glancing around the living room again. I felt a tear trace down my cheek and I shook my head.

"Nope. No crying. That's not allowed," I said, willing myself to stop. I wiped away the wet streak and made my way to my mum's bedroom. She was lying there, staring up at the ceiling. "Hello, mum," I said, quietly. She didn't look at me. I walked over to her bedside. An empty cup sat on the bedside table. "I'll just fill this up, okay?" I didn't wait for an answer. I turned and made my way to the kitchen to fill it up.

I returned it to her bedside table and I left, shutting the door behind me. I made my way to the couch and sat down, curling up into a ball and willing myself not to cry. The school year was supposed to help me forget all these things, get away from this house. My mental state wasn't prepared for this. I bit my lip, burying my head between my knees. I choked on a sob.

Just a day. Just one day and I'd be gone. Just for today.

I got back a little later than expected. It was eleven before I flooed home. I was so tired, I accidentally ended up in the great hall's fireplace. I dusted myself off and made my way through the halls to the common room. It seemed the professors had finally figured out how to melt the ice, but the floors were still soaking wet. I allowed myself a small smile at the feat.

The halls were dark and moonlight shone through the windows. It seemed like the whole castle was asleep. I didn't even pass any ghosts on my way. I got to the portrait hole and tapped on it to wake up the fat lady.

"Oh, dear me. Sorry," she said, yawning. "Password?"

"Adscititious," I said, tiredly. She swung open, allowing me to step through. The lights in the common room were dim. It seemed everyone was asleep, including the seventh years. They must have been really tired from all the skating around— Hm. I was wrong. Someone was here. He was sitting on the couch, head in his hands.

"Sirius?" I said, quietly. I heard a quiet, choked sob. "Sirius, what's wrong?" I moved toward the couch and sat down beside him. He was clutching a letter in his hands. He didn't look up at me, keeping his face buried. I rested a hand on his back rubbing small circles as I gently took the letter from him. I began to read it, all the while making small reassuring noises.

_Son,_

_Don't both coming home. You're a disgrace and poor excuse for a son. Running off to live with the Potters, blood traitors all of them. I've never seen you as a son and your actions speak well enough for themselves. You are hereby disowned. Don't bother writing back. We've already burned all your possessions—_

I didn't bother finishing the letter.

"Oh, Sirius, I'm so sorry," I said, choking back my own tears.

"Don't bother," Sirius spoke, his voice choked. "I'm worthless."

"That is a damn lie and you know it," I said, dropping the letter on the coffee table and hugging him. He hiccupped, and let out a breath of air.

"I know I shouldn't care. They've abused me and hurt me and I shouldn't love them but—" he swallowed, shaking his head. I could see his face now. It was shining from tears and snot. His eyes were tired and swollen.

"Shh, it's okay. I completely understand—"

"No, you don't. You could never," Sirius stopped and broke down, even more, sinking down. I clutched him, wrapping my arms around him. Tears began to fill my eyes.

"Actually, I don't think you understand how much I understand," I said, wiping my tears away. He looked up at me again, searching my face.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, slowly. He rubbed his face.

"I mean," I choked. "I'm abused too." Sirius looked at me in shock. "Yay," I said, sadly.

"Are—are you—really?" Sirius said, desperately, grasping at my hands.

"Yeah," I said, a small sob leaking out. "I never realized you were abused like this," I said, gesturing at his letter. "I had no idea, or I would've said something. I mean, I knew your family wasn't nice, but I never knew— I never..." I was genuinely crying now, sobs racking my body. I could feel Sirius shaking.

"You want to know why I'm such good friends with your brother?" I said, tears dripping down my chin and onto my neck. "He's the first person I ever told. He was so understanding and compassionate and I think he was because he knew what that was like. He's seen you abused before, but he never had the courage to do anything about it, so when he had a second chance with me, he didn't hesitate. I know you think your brother is a terrible person but—"

"I don't," Sirius said, biting his lip.

"What?"

"I don't think he's a terrible person." Sirius shook his head, a hiccup jolting him. "I never thought he was a terrible person. I've gotten used to protecting him. Whenever he got in trouble when he was little, I stood up for him. We're brothers, we love each other, it's just that with parents who show so much favouritism... it hurts."

"I don't have any siblings. I don't have a dad. He was murdered by death eaters when I was six. An auror mission gone wrong. I don't know if you know this, but both my parents were in Slytherin, so as a kid, all I wanted was to be a Slytherin. When my dad died, my mum went a little crazy, trying to get the ministry to go back for his body and dealing with everything. They were so in love..." I gasped for breath. "After a while, she sort of went dormant. Staying in her room forever, ignoring me. As a little kid, having your mother reject any kind of holiday and tearing apart your dreams hurt, especially when she was so nice a month ago.

"I had to learn to fight for myself. I had my dad's wand that let me do magic without being caught by the ministry because it was still registered to him. I did all the chores, I made food, I grew up. I've been an adult for half my life because of her. It wasn't just that. My mum was slowly going insane, y'know... when she finally stood up again I was so happy because I thought mummy was all better. That's when the abuse came. It wasn't as bad in the beginning, but it's gotten steadily worse. I now have an entire cabinet filled with medicines and remedies. I know way too many healing spells to be normal, and I know self-defence. It was the only thing I thought of to be able to protect myself.

"During the summers, I have a residential healer who takes care of her, but that's spreading the inheritance from my father pretty thin. That's why I have two jobs. We're incredibly poor. It's just... taxing. I feel memories seeping in from her abuse and I want to scream, but I don't want to tell anyone, you know? It hurts because I still love her. I still remember when she was a nice, caring mother who loved me and read me bedtime stories..." My tears were too much. I had to stop talking. I clutched Sirius, looking for comfort.

"It's a little different for me," Sirius managed to choke out. "My mum never loved me. I was too rambunctious, too much of a trouble-maker. I was a shame to the Black family the moment my mum realized I would never listen to her. As a kid, it wasn't so bad. Before I was sorted into Gryffindor. She was strict and didn't love me of course, but she was still trying to rear me up as a proud pure-blood Slytherin. Regulus was born and it immediately became obvious that he was much better at pleasing my mum. Quieter, more respectful, did everything she wanted.

"Every single time I managed to get Regulus to do something daring, she found out and tried to punish us, but I'd stay standing in front of Reg, protecting him. She began trying to separate us. It worked. I haven't been alone in the same room with him since I was eight. I don't talk to him. It—hurts." He choked again, pausing for a moment. "She's poisoned us, taught us that neither of us was good enough. She despises me, but I always felt worse for Regulus. One moment she was praising him, telling him how much better than me he was, then the next she was hitting him for not tying his tie correctly. He never liked it when she compared us. You could see it in his eyes, but he never said anything.

"I'd give anything to get my little brother back. We used to care for each other..." he began sobbing and I cradled him, my tears mingling with his. "She's just so awful. She's beaten me more times than I can count. She once tossed me down the stairs and let me lie there, bleeding until I passed out. It was Reg who saved me that time. He made her heal me. I just—I HATE HER," he screamed, sobbing, shaking. He pressed against me, squeezing so hard. It was a few moments before he began speaking again. "But I love Reg. That's why I didn't leave until now. I tried to convince him to come with me, but—" his words fell apart.

We sat there, crying together, hugging. It was forever before either of us spoke again.

"I really hope she didn't burn my motorbike," Sirius whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"My motorbike. I have an amazing flying motorbike with a sidecar. She said she burned all my possessions... but I don't know if she actually did it. She always says things she didn't do..." he trailed off.

"Let's go find out," I said.

"What?" he looked up, shocked.

"You heard me. Let's go over there right now and check."

"Right now?" His eyes widened. "That's insane, we can't do that."

"Come on, it'll be quick. They'll probably be asleep by now anyway," I reassured him. I stood up. He mirrored me.

"...Okay," he said, a shaky grin forming.

I grabbed the pouch of floo powder from the fireplace and tossed a fistful in. The dying embers erupted in green flame. I clutched Sirius' hand and we stepped in. He squeezed my hand once.

"Number twelve, Grimmauld Place," he spoke and we whisked away. A few seconds later and we were standing in a different fireplace. The room was dark. Shadows laced the walls, swaying trees just beyond the windows. It was quiet. Something moved on the far side of the room. "Kreacher! Stay silent until we're gone. No noise. None. Not speaking, not from movement, nothing. Stay right there until we're out of the house." Sirius hissed. A small, ugly house elf with a hooked nose stared at us. We were lucky Sirius had spotted him so quickly because it looked like he quite wanted to scream.

"Master Sirius is back, how unfortunate. Missus won't like this, he's been disowned... master Sirius has been disowned... he isn't my master anymore... I can do whatever I wish, I don't answer to him..." he grinned malevolently and opened his mouth to yell. I whipped out my wand.

"Silencio," I muttered. He was screaming, but no sound was coming out. I grinned at Sirius, who laughed quietly. To prevent him from making any non-voice related noise, we tied him to a chair.

We grinned at each other and high-fived silently. The floor creaked quietly.

"Okay," Sirius whispered. "If the bike is here, it would be in the backyard." We stepped across to floorboards to a window. We pulled aside the curtains and sure, enough, shining in the moonlight was a fantastic silver motorbike. It was beautiful. Sirius grinned. "Hah! I knew it," he said, quietly.

"Hey, wait. While we're here..." I whispered, grinning. Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think we should give them a goodbye present?" I grinned. Sirius looked confused, his eyebrows knitting together. I smiled, grabbed a lamp from a side table, and dropped it. It shattered, covering the floor with shards of blue-white porcelain. Sirius' eyes widened and we both listened for the sounds of someone getting up. "Get the idea?" I whispered. Sirius was grinning.

"Wait. Let's check my room first. I want to see if there's anything I'm not thinking of," he said. I nodded and we slowly stepped up the stairs toward his bedroom. We reached the landing where a door reading Sirius' name was. He reached for the handle and pushed it open. Inside was a small room. Pictures of girls in bikinis were on the walls, clippings from magazines. They were muggles, and you could tell because they weren't moving. Banners of Gryffindor were around the whole room, and the walls were painted red. A picture of all five marauders was on the wall. I tried taking it off but to no avail.

"Permanent sticking charm," Sirius grinned. "Everything in this room is permanently stuck. I decorated it with the specific purpose of pissing off my parents."

He wandered around the room a bit, grabbing little things. A few shirts he had forgotten, a stack of photographs, a bag of coins. He stared at the room for a while, taking it in. He sighed and grinned at me.

"Let's get out of here." We walked back down to the living room and stopped. I raised an eyebrow and he grinned. We both took out our wands and swept them across the whole room. Immediately, vases smashed, windows opened, cabinets emptied its contents onto the floor. The rug pulled upward, knocking over the furniture, Sirius even pointed his wand upwards. The chandelier smashed to the floor, buckling the hardwood below it. Cackling and hearing yells from upstairs, we sprinted out the back door and loaded his items into the sidecar. We hopped on. I wrapped my arms around him, keeping myself secure.

He revved the engine and it roared. We race forward and just before we ran into the fence, it took off into the air. We soared and heard a yell behind us. We looked back and saw Mrs Black waving her fist at us, standing in the yard in her nightgown. We laughed and laughed, feeling the breeze against our skin.

The night sky is really beautiful when you're flying.

We reached Hogwarts just a little past two in the morning. Sirius parked the motorbike in a small clearing on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. We put a few protective spells around it and headed back to the castle. By the time we tumbled into the common room, we were both too tired to move any more. We collapsed onto the couch and fell asleep right there, clutching each other.

It was awful what we had endured, the screwed up deck we had been dealt in the game that was life, but at least we both had someone who understood. It was a relief. The eye of a hurricane. The calm before the storm. It was nice to have someone, especially in my immediate group of friends who I could trust so exactly.

Sirius was the second person I had ever told. The first of the marauders. I'm glad it was him. I'm glad it was him who was the first. It reassured me that so much comfort could come from me confessing everything. I always thought it would hurt, like a knife being driven into my chest, but that wasn't the case. It was liberating.

I just wasn't ready to tell anyone else yet.


	70. A Promise Too Hard to Keep

I woke up to a faint rustling sound. Sunlight was shining directly into my eyes so I squinted blearily, looking up. James was standing there, his eyes roving over the letter. I carefully sat up, making sure not to wake Sirius. I gently moved his arm which had wrapped around my waist. I rubbed my eyes and looked at James.

"Sorry for waking you," James said. I yawned.

"S'not a problem," I reassured him. He continued reading the letter. "We had a late night last night."

"How is he?" James asked, putting down the letter and looking at Sirius who was oblivious to the world. A bit of drool was coming from the left corner of his mouth.

"He's... okay. He was a wreck when I found him, but we talked." I sighed, brushing a bit of Sirius' hair from his face. James nodded forlornly. "We also wrecked his Mum's place, so that fun."

"Did you really? I bet he liked that," James chuckled.

"Yeah. We got his motorbike back, it's in the forbidden forest." I stretched and stood.

"Is he up for tonight?" James asked, folding his arms and adjusting his glasses.

"Probably. He wouldn't miss it for the world," I smiled sadly. Tonight was a full moon, so we'd be spending the night as our animagi. We stood there for half a minute, watching Sirius, thinking.

"Should we... leave him? I don't want to wake him up..." I mused.

"Er... well we could levitate him," James suggested.

"Yeah, okay." I got out my wand and flicked it. What followed was a slightly stressful walk up the flight of stairs. We got him to his bed though, and everything was alright. James and I got back downstairs and headed to breakfast.

"Hey, after breakfast so you want to hit the gym?" I asked as we sat down at the table. We were lucky it was a Thursday. This meant we didn't have classes until after lunch. A perk of being sixth years was that we had more free periods.

"Sure," James grinned, reaching for the jar of marmalade. He started spreading it on his toast and took a large bite. "Merlin, I am really excited for our match against Ravenclaw on Saturday, I can't _believe_ how good a team we've got this year."

"I know!" I said, biting a bit of sausage. "I have never met anyone who could catch the snitch as fast as Lacey can. She's never made it into double digits!" I shook my head.

"It's bloody crazy. Nausicaa is amazing too, I bet she hasn't even let more than five shots in through our entire practice season. She's making _us_ look bad." We laughed. "I can't wait for Saturday," James said, grinning.

"Yeah... about that—" I said, uneasily. James' head shot up.

"Wait, did the prime minister say no?" James said, worried.

"No..." I started. "It's just... well, he's coming to the game." James' jaw dropped.

"Are you serious?" he asked, practically breathless.

"Yeah," I said, not sure if he was happily shocked or scared shocked.

"That's amazing! This is so cool, oh my gosh, the minister is coming to watch our game! We have to win now, I've got to tell the team—"

"No, no, no," I said, grabbing his arm. "We can't tell them, they'll be super stressed out. They'll find out on Saturday with the rest of the school." James sunk back down into his chair.

"You're probably right..." He took another bite of his toast. "Merlin, this is amazing! I can't wait." I just laughed.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah," James said. We hopped up and made our way back to the common room. James grabbed my hand and swung it, making me laugh. I had discovered I didn't really mind anymore. We reached the portrait hole and rushed up our opposite stairs and I opened the door to my dorm. The girls were up, showering, dressing, and chatting.

"Iris! You're back," Lily greeted me from the mirror, putting her earrings in. "How's your Mum?"

"Doing better," I said, with a grin. "I'm going to the quidditch pitch with Potter, so you probably won't see me until class." I grabbed my sports bag from beneath my four-poster and took out my workout clothes. I began to change, putting on my sports bra and leggings. I opted for a cropped sweatshirt this morning and I quickly slipped on my socks and sneakers. I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and brushed it out.

"See you later girls!" I called. They yelled their goodbyes as I closed the door. I jumped down the stairs to meet James who was already down, waiting for me. I saw his eyes flicker to my exposed stomach. I laughed.

"I see you're jealous of my abs," I teased, punching his shoulder. He grinned, rubbing the spot.

"Ay, I'm not jealous of anything, I've got my own abs, thank you very much." We laughed again as we stepped out of the portrait hole. We quickly made our way to the quidditch pitch, me setting a jogging pace. James opened the door and I ducked under his arm. I went to my locker, pulling out my wraps and unrolling them as we made our way to the back of the locker rooms where all the equipment was.

I began wrapping my hands, making sure to cover my knuckles as James started stretching out. When I was done, I joined him. I touched my toes a few times, making sure to hold for ten seconds each time. I stretched my arms, making sure they were good and warmed up before I began punching. James had finished and was starting on the bench press. I did fifteen pushups before I decided I was nice and warm.

I stood and faced the punching bag shaking out before clenching my fingers into fists. James had already turned on the radio. He had tuned it to our favourite station. A song by EndNote came on, they were a slightly unknown band, but the station James and I liked played a lot of up-and-coming musical groups. That was how we knew about Weird Sisters before they rose to popularity over the summer.

It was a good one. The song was called "To Be", which, of course, was a Shakespeare reference. It had a lot of drums and as I listened to it, I began to punch in its rhythm. I started out with jabs, switching which foot was forward to really get into it, then I switched it up a bit.

It was maybe ten minutes before James came up to me. I stopped, catching my breath.

"Didn't you say once you were going to teach me?" James asked, grinning. I chuckled.

"I did say that, didn't I? Well alright then," I said. "Gimme a second." I walked back to my locker and pulled out another pair of wraps and some gloves. "You aren't ready for boxing just with wraps, you need to use gloves first." I showed him how to wrap his hands. He struggled a bit but he got it after I showed him a couple of times. I helped him put on his gloves too. He looked from hand to hand attempting to flex his fingers. I laughed.

"Alright then. Punch it," I said, gesturing at the bag.

"Just like that? No preparation, no words of advice?" James grinned.

"Nope," I said. "Punch it." James squared up, rocking side-to-side. I tried not to laugh. Suddenly, he whipped out, punching the bag full-force. The bag swung slightly.

"...ow," James said. I grinned.

"Alright, I can see what you need to work on now." I laughed as James gave me a look. "Honestly, it wasn't that bad. You just need to work. For one, your stance was off. Your feet were in the right place, but you were facing the side the whole time. You face the bag even though your feet are perpendicular to the bag. Like this," I showed him. "Another thing, you didn't use your core at all, it was all shoulder in that punch. That's not good. There's a difference between this," I punched the bag just using my shoulder and arm muscles. "And this," I punched the bag twisting my entire torso. The bag swung back and forth. "You see?"

James nodded, unsure.

"Doesn't that hurt?" he asked, puzzled.

"It will the first couple of times, but you'll get used to it," I grinned. James groaned. "Oh, it's not so bad. C'mon, give it another try."

We kept going for another half hour, James slowly learning the ropes. By the end, he said his shoulders were on fire. Had improved a lot though, and I told him so.

"I guess I'm just amazing at everything," he said, grinning. I laughed.

"Don't get too full of yourself," I patted his shoulder. "I'm going to keep boxing, I don't know if you wanna stay here..." I trailed off.

"I think I'll do a few miles around the pitch and then we can leave together," James said. I nodded.

"You can put the gloves and the wraps back in my locker," I told him. He did so and left, leaving me to the room and the music. I grinned. It was nice to have the room to myself, it was just like during the summer. I got back into my rhythm pretty quickly, keeping pace with the music.

As I boxed, I let my mind wander a bit, thinking about Sirius and his situation. I felt really bad about the whole thing. I was lucky I didn't have any siblings to take care of, or else things would be different and probably far worse. I thought about my day with my mum. I didn't want to think about how much visiting her during the school year had affected me. I was a wreck at the house. I had to make her dinner again, which just made me think about my burns.

It was all too much. Having that idea of freedom and having it wrenched from me when I least expected it. I was scared. She was always there. Always there to hurt me, to take away my security, to torture me. Her very essence was infected in my mind.

My pounding fists accentuated every thought. Things started to go blurry as tears began to fill my eyes. They weren't sad tears, they were angry tears. I hated that she could control me without even being there. I hated it, I wanted to hate her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

After a few minutes, my tears overcame me and my fists slowed, getting sloppier. I was almost sobbing now, my breathlessness tearing my lungs. I ached for something solid so I sat down, resting my back against the cement wall.

I'm not really sure when James came in, but one second I was sobbing on the cold stone floor, and the next he was there, sitting beside me, wrapping his arms around me, letting me cry. It took a few minutes for me to regain my breath, but eventually, I did and I sat up, rubbing the tears from my eyes. James was quiet. I took a shaky deep breath and wrapped my arms around my knees.

"Um... A while ago, after I visited you at the ministry, you promised me you'd talk to me if you ever needed someone to talk to. Do— do you need someone to talk to?" he asked, unsure of himself for once. I smiled, sadly.

"Heh... yeah," I said, willing myself not to cry again. "We really need to stop doing this." I tried to laugh. "I seem to cry around you a lot, huh?"

"That's okay. That's okay, that's just fine," James reassured me. I stayed quiet for a minute or two. I felt the urge to tell him, to tell him everything. I'd already told Regulus, heck I'd just told Sirius, what was holding me back? I opened my mouth, about to tell him, tell him everything, when I closed my mouth again. No. This wasn't the time, I could feel it.

"Is this about Snivellus' threat? Are you still scared for Regulus?" James asked, his tone quiet. I stilled for a split second, then nodded. James nodded too. "You really shouldn't worry. I know you are, and telling you not to be is pointless, but I think Regulus is smart enough to avoid the bad people. You said you warned him, right?"

"Yeah," I said, taking another deep breath.

"Then he'll be fine. I promise," he squeezed my shoulder. We sat there for a little longer, just sitting, on the dirty floor. I leaned my head against his shoulder. He had an around wrapped around my shoulders. I sighed.

"We should be going. Transfiguration starts in half an hour and we still need to shower," I said, sitting up. James stood, helping me up.

"Alright then,"

We grabbed all our stuff and headed back to the castle. We were quiet as we walked. James had my hand and was doing his thing, rubbing little circle over my knuckles.

"You're a really good friend," I said sincerely. I could see him smile.

"I'm glad you think so," he said. We reached the doors and before we entered them, James grabbed my shoulders. "Remember, your promise is still in order. I'm always here if you need someone."

"I'll keep that in mind," I smiled and we entered the castle.

Much later, in the dead of night, James, Sirius, Peter, and I were sneaking around the castle underneath the cloak. James was holding the Marauders' map in front of him. We had already passed the Head Girl, a Hufflepuff this year, who was roving the halls.

We managed to get outside without being seen. We took off the cloak, James stuffing it into his bag, and we transformed into our corresponding animagi. Wormtail took off, touching the root at the base of the whomping willow. It froze and we scampered through the hole. Prongs dropped the bag just inside the trunk and we crept forward. I was in the front. It took a few minutes, but eventually, we reached the Shrieking Shack.

We crept inside. Moony would be upstairs. We already heard him, scratching at the walls. I went first, my paws carefully creeping up the stairs. I pushed open the door with my snout and padded over to Moony. He was sitting on his haunches, scratching and howling. When he saw me however, he stopped and bore his yellowing teeth. He sniffed at me in greeting and looked past me at the others.

He was looking pretty matted, his eyes were sharper than usual. We were going to go traipsing about in the forest tonight, just to run around. We snuck out the back, leading Moony away from the town and into the forbidden forest. We ran for a long time, keeping up with Moony. We reached a clearing and Moony spotted the full moon. He howled. Padfoot and I joined him. He grinned again, breathing heavily. His breath stunk, something awful.

It was a long night, running around the forest, wrestling. It was getting him back so he could de-transform that was difficult. We were lucky we Padfoot, Prongs, and I were bigger animals, we could wrestle him if need be. He was feeling lenient that night, so getting him back into the house wasn't too hard.

He paced around, howling and scratching a bit more. Soon he began shaking and yowling in pain. We stepped back as he slowly seemed to shrink. His fur and claws started to retract and in a few minutes, a shaking naked Remus was laying on the floor. James detransformed and handed him his clothes, folded and hidden in a separate room. Sirius, Peter, and I detransformed as well.

Remus looked exhausted, heavy, dark shadows under his eyes. He buttoned up his jeans and pulled the shirt over his head. Sirius stepped forward to catch him as Remus started to fall over. He looked up, dazed.

"Thanks..." he murmured. "...pretty..." Sirius just wrapped an arm around him and held him tight. James and I helped his shoes on and we made our way to the first room where a bed was. Sirius laid him down. The second his head touched the pillow, he was out cold. We stood there for a couple of seconds before turning around and making our way back through the passageway.

We reached the end of the passageway as the started coming up over the horizon. Feeling a rush of adrenaline I spotted Madame Pomfrey making her way toward us.

"James," I said, prodding him. He wasn't paying attention, he was busy digging around for the map. "James," I said more urgently.

"What?" he asked. I grabbed his chin and pointed it in Pomfrey's direction. "Shoot shoot shoot, dang it, shoot, crap, here it is!" he yanked out the invisibility cloak and tossed it over us, just as Madame Pomfrey was taking out her wand. She waved it and the tree stilled. We scrambled out, trying to keep the cloak over us as she walked past, right into the hole in the base. We ran to the castle doors, yanking the cloak off and scrambling inside.

"That," James said, breathing hard. "Was a close one."

Everyone nodded. We began making our way to the common room. It seemed to take forever. Someone mumbled the password and we tumbled in, stumbling up our corresponding staircases. I made my way to my dorm room and collapsed on the bed. I was asleep in less than a minute.


	71. The Pawns and the Pieces

"Flirted with Sirius yet?" I asked, flipping through a copy of witch weekly I had snatched from Marlene. Remus groaned.

"No, I'm telling you, I'm terrible at flirting," We were in the infirmary. Remus was laying in one of the linen beds. I was sitting in a chair beside him, so rickety I was sure it was going to fall apart any minute. I flipped to a page about Celestina Warbeck and tapped it, raising an eyebrow to Remus.

"That's a damn lie," I said, closing the edition and tossing it on the to bedside stand.

"It is not," Remus said, giving me a look.

"Sure. Look; it's really not that hard, you're just overthinking it. If you'd just—" Remus' eyes widened and I raised an eyebrow at him. Sirius walked up beside me. I bit my lip to keep myself from laughter.

"Hey," Sirius greeted us.

"Hey," I said, finally getting my facial features in check.

"Hi," Remus croaked.

"Sounds like you've got a sore throat, Moony. D'you like me to get you a cup of tea, honey?" Sirius grinned.

"Uh—" Remus swallowed. I coughed and gave him a look. "Don't you mean honey tea?" he said, trying to relax.

"That too," Sirius winked. I had to turn and bite my hand to keep from screaming. When I turned back, Remus' cheeks were slightly pinker and his eyes were widened.

"Er, well, I'm okay actually. Madame Pomfrey gave me a couple of potions so I'm all good," I could see Remus wince at his own reply.

"That's good," Sirius said, sitting down and carefully, behind his back shoving my knee so I'd get the hint. I did, and I stood. Remus looked up at me, pleading with his eyes. 'don't leave me, I'll never survive being alone with him'.

"I've got to go, Regulus and I have a study session in a few minutes," I said. I wasn't entirely lying, but I did have fifteen minutes. Remus looked at me mutinously and Sirius gave me a thumbs up where Remus couldn't see. I grinned and waved goodbye, turning on my heel and briskly setting off for the library. Unfortunately, I ran into someone. Literally.

"Oh, sorry," I said, stepping back.

"No, no, it's fine," said a grinning, probably too happy James Potter. "Where are you off to in such a rush?"

"To the library. I have a study session with Regulus in—" I checked my watch. "Twelve minutes."

"Oh, for potions I assume?" James smiled.

"Yeah. And Defense Against the Dark Arts, I need to brush up on my hexes. I mostly rely on jinxes you know, so I've got get some practice."

"I'm sure you're just as flawless with hexes as you are with jinxes," James winked.

"You're probably right," I said, sighing. "I'm brilliant at everything." James laughed.

"So very true," he leaned closer. I allowed him a few inches before stopping him with a hand on his shoulder.

"I've got to be going, Regulus will be waiting for me—"

"Regulus you say?" said a silty voice coming from my left. I pulled out my wand and pointed it directly at Snape's hooked, greasy nose.

"Get away from me, death eater scum," I said, airily.

"I don't think I will," he replied. Dolohov and Rookwood joined his side. "I believe I told you to stay away from Regulus."

"And I believe I told you to stuff a shoe in your mouth," I retorted. Snape's eyes flickered to my wand and he sighed, rolling his eyes, contemptuously.

"Let's not get violent, now. I wouldn't want to see anyone hurt," he drawled.

"You ruined that the moment you called my best friend a slur," I taunted. His eyes narrowed. We both remembered the day. James teasing him, bullying him, me and Lily intervening. Me, because I still disliked James for his prejudice, Lily because she and Snape were still friends.

Then Snape called her a mudblood. I've loathed him ever since. Lily was inconsolable, weeping for days. She finally accepted Snape's apology several days later, but we all knew it wouldn't last. It didn't.

"I'm not going to let you infect my friend," I said, not lowering my wand. Snape pushed it aside with a lazy finger. I placed it back in front of his face, poking his disgusting nose. He leered.

"Actually, that's not what I wanted to talk about at all. I was wondering what you can tell me about the Lupin boy getting sick all the time." Snape smirked. I blinked. I felt James shift uneasily beside me.

"What to you mean?" I asked, praying my acting skills were up to par. Snape grinned, sickeningly.

"I mean, what happens to him every month? He's sick all the time, it's peculiar." Snape's eyes drifted from me to James and back to me.

"You don't know? He has Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome, I thought everyone knew that," I said, seriously. Snape looked taken aback. His eyes narrowed.

"That sounds fake..."

"I assure you it's real. No one really knows what causes it, but it can last from hours to days, it's awful. I don't know how Remus can do it, it's really hard on him," James looked convincingly sad and empathetic.

"Of course, Madame Pomfrey's got all sorts of potions but you never know, what with it being cyclic and all. It's just safer to keep him on bedrest in the infirmary for a day or so. He's fine after that," I shook my head, despondently. Snape was glancing at us suspiciously. james and I stood still hoping they'd fall for it. Snape whipped out his wand. the other two followed suit. James stepped in front of me a bit, pulling out his own wand.

It was five of us, wands out, glancing every which-way, wondering who would attack first. It was Rookwood. he fired a spell at James. I deflected it nonverbally. All at once all three of them sent spells, hexes, jinxes, cures, all manner of which were probably painful. I deflected each and everyone, completely non-verbally. James' wand rested at his side, giving me an admiring smile.

Snape stopped and put a hand out to stop the other two. He glared mutinously at us and stalked past, beckoning the other two to follow him. We watched them depart. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. James put an arm on my shoulder.

"Told you you're brilliant,"

I laughed.

Regulus and I had a very productive study session. We had potions immediately after, so we walked there together. We were a bit early, but we decided to get a head-start on the potion we had started the last class. it was the antidote to common poison. We had finished brewing it in the different cauldrons, now we just needed to finish it up.

"One pinch unicorn horn and stir twice, clockwise," I read aloud. Regulus nodded and added the ingredient, stirring it in. "Two mistletoe berries and stir twice, anti-clockwise." Regulus did so. "Wave your wand." Regulus followed my instruction. "Perfect. One down, three to go."

We quickly got started on our second potion, antidote to uncommon poisons. I again read out the ingredients whilst Regulus accio-ed them from the cabinet. We set to making it. we were lucky with this one, we didn't have to let it sit or anything, we'd be able to finish it in one class period. Unlucky for us, it required a lot of still-brewing, which meant not touching it.

We put the first five ingredients in and set the burning to medium. We had to let it sit for half an hour before adding the last two. This left a lot of time to talk.

"I am so tired this week, you know? And to top it all off, we have that game against Ravenclaw tomorrow, so I'm only _really_ going to get one day to relax," I said. Regulus nodded.

"That sucks. I don't know what it is with this week, but I've been exhausted. Dolohov gave me this really nice relaxing charm, it's amazing," he grinned. I smiled back, but internally I got just a little bit more anxious. "By the way, what's up with you and that Potter kid?" I buffered, taken aback.

"S—sorry?" I stumbled out. I flushed, Merlin I'm' daft. One moment I'm the world's smoothest actor, the next I'm fumbling. Regulus notice my sudden embarrassment and grinned.

"So there is something there. I know people kept saying that you're in denial, but you've obviously already come to terms with it," Reg shrugged.

"Uhm, I'm gonna stop you there, I don't fancy Potter," I said, raising a finger.

"Oh, so you _are_ in denial. Gotcha," he raised an eyebrow whilst I glared. "Don't give me that look."

"I'm free to give you whatever look I care to," I said, folding my arms and sticking my nose into the air. Regulus laughed and elbowed me.

"I'm just teasing you,"

"Oh?" I said, rolling my eyes. "Merlin, I need to get some dirt on you if you keep acting like this." Reg laughed again.

"There's nothing! No secrets I have to hide!" He splayed out his arms, miming innocence, but his grin ruined it.

"That's a lie," I snorted. "Everyone's got secrets. I just need to find yours."

It was late at night. I was still in the common room finishing up a Charms essay. I checked my watch. It read eleven. I sighed and set down my parchment and tiptoed as quietly as I could upstairs. I put all my stuff away and got into bed. I laid there for quite a long time before I realized I was not tired at all.

This was unfortunate because of the big game I had tomorrow, but I would just have to live with it. I got up and again tiptoed my way downstairs. I set off, stepping out of the portrait hole and making my way to the kitchens. It had been a while since I'd seen Folly and I could use some nice hot chocolate right about now.

I quickly reached the hallway of paintings and stopped in front of the bowl of fruit. I tickled the pear and grabbed the doorknob. I pulled it open and stepped through, closing it quietly behind me. I turned and stopped abruptly. James stared back.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I replied, grabbing a small stool and sitting across from him. It was a small little table. House-elves scurried about, cleaning dishes and other things. Folly walked up and greeted me. I asked her for the usual, hot chocolate and some biscuits. She ran off, intent on her job. James smiled across at me.

"Couldn't sleep either?" he asked.

"Nope," I shook my head.

"Is it because of the game tomorrow?" he asked, smiling, sipping his own hot chocolate.

"No... I don't really know. I just couldn't sleep," I said, chuckling. Folly set an oversized mug in front of me with a small plate of ginger biscuits. I thanked her and she rushed off to do some other work.

"Yeah, me too," James nodded. He took another sip from his mug. I carefully blew on mine and took a test-sip. It was still too warm. I set it down.

"I'm just a bit stressed, you know. This week's been chaotic and tomorrow's the game and then the day after that I have the rest of that trial to go to... it's just a lot." I pursed my lips. James nodded.

"Yeah, you've got a pretty crazy schedule, huh? I honestly, don't know how you keep up with all of it," James' eyes widened slightly. I laughed.

"Me either," I took another careful sip of my hot chocolate. I shivered. "is it just me, or is it a bit chilly in here?"

"It may be just you. After all, you _are_ just in pyjamas," James laughed. I grinned.

"True, true," I agreed, shaking my leg up and down.

"Do you want to head back to the common room by the fire? We can take our mugs with us," James suggested. I nodded and we got up, explaining to Folly. She assured us one of the house-elves would be by to pick up our mugs when we were finished. We set off, through the dark halls, each of us carefully holding our mugs for warmth. It was nice to know fall was finally setting in.

We reached the portrait hole and climbed inside. We sat on the couch together. I grabbed a blanket because it was chilly and wrapped it over ourselves. We clutched our mugs and talked and talked and talked. We had long finished our mugs before we leaned on each other, watching the flames dance in the fireplace.

I yawned.

"Oop, finally getting sleepy," I said, yawning again.

"Oh, don't yawn I'll yawn too—oo" James drew out, yawning with me. I laughed.

"We should probably head up..." I trailed off, leaning on James' shoulder. James' head rested on mine and we fell asleep together, curled in a thick quilt. The fire danced.


	72. Project Stonewall

I awoke to a very quiet common room. I was laying on top of something. Someone. I twisted a bit and looked into the face of James Potter. He was still asleep, a bit of drool in the corner of his lip. I giggled a bit and wiped it away with my thumb. His hair was beautifully tousled, just the way he liked it. I tried to find a way to move without waking him up, but his arm was wrapped tight around my waist. I was stuck.

Not that I minded.

I rested my head back on his chest and gazed into the ashes of the fireplace. Our mugs were gone, long collected by a house-elf. His arm tightened a bit around me in his sleep. I smiled. The sun was barely up, the smallest glow inching above the forest tree-tops. The game was today. The minister would be coming, I remembered.

James shifted. I lifted my head again and watched as his eyes fluttered open, focusing on me. I grinned.

"Morning," I greeted him. He sighed, smiling, blinking his eyes.

"Morning," he answered, squeezing me. "What time is it?"

"Well, I'd be able to check the clock if you'd let go of me," I raised an eyebrow.

"Aw, too bad. Guess I'll have to go on without knowing," he grinned and I laughed, pushing myself off him. He sat up beside me.

"It's seven," I said, pointing at the clock on the mantle.

"Oh. I forgot that was there," James said, tilting his head.

"You ready to beat these Ravenclaws?" I said, standing and stretching. James stood beside me.

"Born ready," he grinned. I snorted.

"Well, I want some breakfast," I said, heading up to my dorm to change. James agreed, heading up his own stairs. I ran up the flight of stairs and entered my room. The girls were still asleep, so I carefully pulled out my trunk and grabbed a cropped sweatshirt, red with a compass on its back and some high-waisted mom jeans with turn ups. I pulled on my worn black Chuck Taylors and stuck my wand behind my ear, pulling two hair-ties over my wrist.

I ran back downstairs and tapped my foot, waiting for James. He emerged wearing his usual worn jeans, a band T, and a leather jacket he probably stole from Sirius. We walked to the great hall, chatting and making jokes. We entered the great hall to find a splendid breakfast. We didn't load our plates, but we ate until we were full.

People began entering, talking and eating breakfast. When we left, at last half the school was already up. We left the great hall and made our way to the entryway. We exited and headed to the quidditch pitch to warm up.

The Ravenclaws weren't there yet. I ran by our tactics with James and by the time we were done, people were arriving in the stands. This was our first match of the year with our new team. The school knew we had some good new players, but they hadn't seen us in action yet. I hadn't heard any gossip yet about the minister coming, which meant no one had found out yet.

The rest of the team arrived and changed and we sat in the middle room, talking and listening as the crowd entered the stands. We waited for Amarius to start announcing. He'd be announcing us second because we had won the cup last year. It made it more dramatic.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, we heard his voice echoing through the stands.

"Good morning Hogwarts! It's the first match of the year, stakes are high. Both and Gryffindor and the Ravenclaw team have gained some additions this year. As we all know, Gryffindor won the cup last year, but we'll see what happens. First up; Ravenclaw!" The crowd cheered and booed accordingly.

"First up, with Ravenclaw, beater and quidditch captain Suzanna Clemmins. Second Beater, Michele Wilton. Seeker, Rosalin Meave. Chaser, Deidre Lorne. Chaser, Jonathan Maclver. Chaser, Raoul Rowley. Keeper, Theo Garnet. Give 'em a round of applause." The crowd did so. "Moving on to the Gryffindor team!"

"Spots everyone!" James yelled. We were ready.

"First up, chaser and captain, James Potter," James zoomed out to cheers. "Chaser, Iris Brooks," I followed him and fell into formation beside him on the middle pitch. "Chaser, Sirius Black," he joined my side. "Beater, Fabian Prewett. Beater, Gideon Prewett. Seeker, Lacey Eline. Keeper, Nausicaa Kamau."

"There's a lot of pressure today on these teams. Our own Minister of Magic is with us today, cheering the two teams on. Says he's visiting Miss Iris Brooks, fancy that. Brooks, looks like you've got a fan!" I glanced up and down our team. Their eyes were wide and they were chattering under their breaths, back and forth. I grinned and wave up at the teachers' box where I knew Harold was sitting.

James shook hands with Suzanna and Madame Hooch gave her usual speech. We mounted our brooms and took off at the sound of her whistle. My brain was focused today, no time for distractions. I blocked out Amarius' voice and focused. It was a tight game and we all knew that. Ravenclaw was good, especially tactically. We knew this and used it to our advantage. When going up against Ravenclaw, you never want to use a textbook tactic, nothing that's been used before and written down. you've got to invent your own way.

Which is what we did. None of the tactics we used we had ever used before and none of them had been found in a textbook or written down in anything before. It was strictly our own inventions at work.

Lacey was in her element, soaring above the stadium, focused on the goings-on below her. The snitch hadn't been spotted, but we knew our Lacey. The game would be over in less than ten minutes. Nausicaa was doing well under the pressure too. She hadn't let in a goal yet and she'd been shot at at least five times already.

James, Sirius, and I were doing our job well, per usual. We'd already scored thirty points. Amarius was having a field day talking about the minister and I. it was quite annoying, but I dealt with it by ignoring it. if I had been worried that my team would be distracted by the minister before, I was dead wrong. They were all fighting the best they could today. I was really quite proud.

The game was over in a matter of minutes, Lacey caught the snitch in less than seven minutes, almost a new school record. We soared down to a cheering crowd. I was tuckered out. It had been quite a long day yesterday and I'd gone to bed at around one in the morning, I was pretty tired. I changed and exited the locker rooms, intent on heading back to the castle.

Outside, waiting for me, I discovered Harold, leaning against a curled grey cane with a cougar's head atop it. he smiled at me and opened his arms for a hug. I laughed and hugged him.

"Oh, wonderful job young lady. I never knew you were such a talented flyer. You've got an amazing team," he nodded.

"Heh, yeah. Technically, it's not my team, it's James'."

"The way he tells it, your basically co-captain," Harold raised an eyebrow and we headed up the path back toward Hogwarts.

"You talk with him often?" I asked. Harold snorted.

"Not really, but we do keep contact, yes." he paused a bit. "He talks about you a lot."

"Really? Like what?" I laughed. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"How adorable you are, how selfless, how beautiful, how genius, how much he wants to go on a date with you. It'd almost be endearing if he talked about other things sometimes too, but nope. Just about you." He laughed and I shrunk. "Oh, don't be embarrassed I quite agree with most everything he says."

"What are still doing here?" I asked him as we neared the castle.

"I was hoping you'd give me a tour of the school. It's been quite a while since I've wandered these halls." he smiled down at me.

"Of course, yes, I can do that." We began, me leading the way, chatting about all manner of things. We fell deep into conversation. We were on the sixth floor before he revealed his true reason for coming here.

"I've got another small job for you," he said. Stopping to gaze at a tapestry. I stopped beside him, resting my hands behind my back.

"Okay, shoot," I said. He paused mulling his sentence around in his throat. It tipped off his tongue.

"These are dark times. of course, you know that, we all know that," he said, rocking from toe to heel. "The Dark Lord is expanding his forces. We already know he's infiltrated parts of our government, but he's been trying something new lately." He paused. "Tell me, Iris, do you know who the most vulnerable people are in this world?"

"I'd say infants, but I'm assuming you mean people with less dependence than that," I grinned. Harold's lips turned up at the edges. Whatever this was, it was a serious subject.

"Teenagers," he said. "kids, children. These are people who think they can think for themselves, and they can, but they are very easily influenced. Easily preyed upon. The reason I'm telling you this is because we know of a plan formulated by the Dark Lord himself." He took a breath and turned away from the tapestry, continuing down the hall. I joined him.

"He's recruiting again. But not just anyone. Teenagers. We know there are a few in this very building who are on his side. Not yet death eaters, but recruiting for him. We want _you_ to keep an eye on who they talk to." Harold handed me a piece of paper. I unfolded it and gazed at it. There were names in neat little rows listed like little soldiers in a line.

"These are names of children who are the sons and daughters of death eaters, ones who have been talked about specifically by the Dark Lord, and ones who have shown suspicious actions," I saw several names I recognized, and several whom I was absolutely not surprised by. Snape, for one. Rookwood was there as well as Dolohov.

"So, you want me to become a spy," I said, re-reading the paper.

"Well... yes and no. We want you to watch these kids, watch who they're preying on, and protect those kids," he nodded.

"So..." I started. "Okay..." We were standing in front of Dumbledore's office now. The minister had stopped here. We stood, facing each other.

"Professor Dumbledore is on board with this idea. Shall we talk with him?" Harold suggested. I nodded, still processing. "Ice mice," Harold said and the gargoyle leapt aside. The stairs started turning, they were such tight circles I found myself getting dizzy. Harold knocked, and a faint 'come in' could be heard through the large oak door. He pushed it open and I followed him through.

"Hello, Miss Brooks. Wonderful game this morning," professor Dumbledore pointed me toward a seat.

"Thank you," I said sitting. Harold did the same in another chair. We sat there a moment before professor Dumbledore spoke up.

"What have you explained thus far?"

"Just what the job entails," Harold said. Dumbledore nodded.

"What does this mean exactly? What part of the ministry is this?" I asked. Harold spoke up.

"Technically, it's apart of the auror division—"

"No. I'll never be an auror," I said, standing. Harold raised his hands, trying to reassure me.

"It's only apart of the auror division because we have nowhere else to put it. It's too small to be its own office, but there isn't really another appropriate place to put it—"

"I will _never_ be an auror," I said, clenching my fist. "I can't."

"Miss, Brooks, we are not asking you to be an auror. This is a division made up from the Order of the Pheonix. Do you know what that is?" Dumbledore asked, kindly, gesturing for me to sit again. I did. Reluctantly.

"Not really. I know James had mentioned it before," I mumbled.

"Yes, he would, his parents are apart of it. The order of the Pheonix is a society specifically for the purpose of taking down Lord Voldemort," Harold and I flinched. Dumbledore didn't seem to notice. "We decided to talk to Harold about this because we want it to be legal, but also under our control. One of our operatives is in charge of the office and it's so secluded from the auror office, almost none of them know it exists." I folded my arms, listening.

"It's called Project Stonewall. It really has nothing to do with the auror office, it's just a convenient cover. You'll be given the authority of a level two auror and a place in the Order of the Pheonix. Your title or position will be the Keystone. This is an incredibly important job, we aren't just handing out this position to just anyone. If you refuse, we have no one else," Harold explained.

"You already have good cover, you work for Harold. You can visit the ministry without it being suspicious and you're the top student of this school in every class. It's also helpful that you haven't registered your father's wand to you so you can do out-of-school magic." Dumbledore said, casually. I sat up, about to defend myself. Harold raised a hand to stop me.

"Don't worry, you're not going to get in trouble. We understand enough of your situation to allow it," he said. I almost wanted to ask how much, but I was smart enough not to do that.

"Will I be paid?" I asked, looking down at my fidgeting hands.

"Double what you earn now," Harold said. I looked up, mouth agape. Harold smiled, sadly. "This is a very important job, but it's also incredibly dangerous. We want you to understand that. The Dark Lord is trying to recruit these kids in this school to infect it. You're our defence. We need you," he said, smiling with a grimace.

I looked up.

"When do I start?"


	73. Multifaceted

Project Stonewall. For some reason, I'd been able to accept the position with grace. Normally, a decision like this would have kept me reeling for a few weeks, but I'd already internalized it. It was Sunday, and I was at the ministry to finish the trial for Amadeus Cordory.

I was sitting as I had before, to the right of Harold. The young woman, the boy, and the elderly woman from before were absent. It was just Amadeus on the floor. And, of course, two dementors and a sprinkling of patronuses. Patroni? Whichever.

We were dissecting what Amadeus had said before. He had admitted guilty to everything except to the murder of Delphina Cordory. His sister.

"State your case, Mr Cordory," Harold said, boldly to the room. Amadeus' lips curled slightly and he clenched his bound hands into fists.

"I have worked for the Dark Lord for a considerable time. I joined and then a little later, my sister did. We were loyal to him and did everything he asked," he cleared his throat. I was taking feverish notes, scribbling word-for-word. "We were sent on a mission together, ordered by the Dark Lord himself to infiltrate the ministry and attempt to imperious two high-ranking members of wizengamot. Unfortunately, the mission went awry. We were discovered and forced into hiding for a number of weeks. When we returned, the Dark Lord was furious. He was in a rage, I knew not whether we would come out of the meeting alive. He ordered us to dual each other. To the death," His voice cracked slightly. "I was prepared for anything except this, but before I could speak, my sister rebelled. She outright refused, which angered the Dark Lord even more. He killed her. I was let go, barely. He kept me around, I was useful and I stayed with the death eaters." He paused and looked up. "I may have done many terrible things, but I refuse to have my sister's murder on my record."

The room was silent. Normally at this point, Harold would call out for Wizengamot to question the accused, but he silently stood and paused for a moment.

"All those who vote guilty, raise your right hand," almost no one. There were a few, but not enough. "All those who vote not guilty," Almost the entirety of the room raised their hands. I glanced back and saw a very relieved Amadeus Cordory.

"Mr Amadeus Cordory, you will continue to serve your life sentence from your previous trial, but this accusation is hereby dropped and will not be placed on your record. This concludes this meeting." He banged his gavel on the desk and Wizengamot got up. Amadeus was taken away by the two dementors and the patroni dispersed.

I followed Harold out of the room and we quickly made our way through the masses of reporters. Neither of us said anything to them. We'd said enough the first trial. the second trial seemed more... personal. We got into the lift and the gates closed. The lift started upward.

"So, Iris," Harold started. "I'm going to introduce you to the Order of the Phoenix. There, you will meet the president of Project Stonewall who you will report to while in the ministry. Keep in mind, no one really knows Project Stonewall exists, so while in the ministry be careful what you say. It's not a secret, we just want it to go below everyone's radar."

I nodded to all of this and the lift doors opened. We steppe out and we both made our way to his office. I quickly copied my notes with a spell and sent them off to the various places they needed to go and Harold and I went back to the lift. Harold was silent in the lift and I didn't try to get him to speak. He stepped out into level two. He quickly led me to the auror section and he knocked on a door boasting 'Alastor Moody'.

The door was wrenched open and I blinked. There stood and mad who almost looked like he was falling apart at the seams. he had a peg leg, carved to look like a lion's paw. His face was scarred and one of his eyes was missing. In its place was a swivelling electric-blue artificial eye. It fixated on my face and I felt like I was being evaluated. He wore a worn trenchcoat that had so many patches it was hard to tell what the original colour of the coat used to be. He was gnarled looking.

"Hm," he hummed, almost a growl. "Come in then," He barked. We did and Harold shut the door behind us. Moody's office was very clean, but only because there was hardly anything in it. He had a filing cabinet and a desk but that was almost it. There were two chairs, one behind the desk and one in front of it, but no one made any move to sit. There was a fireplace on one side of the wall, all high-ranking officials had them so they could floo without having to go to the Atrium.

"Iris, this is Alastor Moody, he's one of the best aurors we have here. He'll be the president of Project Stonewall. He'll be giving you some training among other things. Most people call him 'Mad-eye'," Harold grinned and Mad-eye sniffed but didn't say anything. We shook hands. He had rough hands and a firm handshake, almost enough to make me wince, but not quite.

"He's a member of the Order of the Phoenix and one of its most trusted members," Harold nodded. Mad-eye leaned on his case, inspecting me and nodding.

Harold wasn't a member of the Order of the Phoenix, he and Dumbledore had explained it to me. It was best that the most important person in the ministry didn't know much about it. Just enough to let it exist and not interfere. This was one of the only projects Harold knew about and we wanted to keep it that way.

"Let's get going then," Mad-eye said, looking at his watch. It was quite the watch. It had seven hands and fourteen hours. Before I could try to wrap my brain around that he put and hand on my shoulder. "Have you ever apparated before?"

"...No, but isn't it impossible to apparate whilst in the Ministry of Magic?" I asked. Mad-eye laughed, gravelly.

"Yes, except in here," He kept a tight grip on my shoulder. "I'd suggest grabbing my arm very tightly and be prepared for a slight squeezing sensation." I quickly grabbed his arm and before I could even say goodbye to Harold, we were whisked away.

A 'slight squeezing sensation' was an understatement. I felt as though I was being forced through a tight rubber tube. I could barely breathe. I kept my tight grip of Moody's shoulder and just as I was sure the sensation would never end, we arrived in the middle of a courtyard with a single door in front of us. It was a pretty courtyard, several trees surrounded us and daisies were blossoming, but I didn't give them time. Mad-eye Moody was hobbling to the door. I came up beside him.

He knocked on the door with his cane. Two short bangs, a soft one, and a rapid three. It was obviously a code of some sort. A few seconds ticked by and then the door was wrenched open. A wand was pointed.

"What is Alastor Moody's toothbrush colour?" A disembodied voice asked.

"Magenta," he growled. The wand vanished and a young woman opened the door.

"How goes it Moody?" she asked, allowing us entrance. I gazed around, taking in the place. It was octangular, this house. Windows on every wall, displaying a forest. We were on an open mountain, protective spells all around to prevent attack and the cold. We were isolated, in the middle of nowhere.

The young woman was leading us around the house. I glanced at her. She seemed... familiar somehow. She was young, couldn't have been more than eighteen or nineteen. She was blonde, her hair cut short in a pixie cut. She seemed so familiar... and yet...

"Do you remember me?" She asked me. My mouth dropped open a bit as I looked at her closely.

"I'm trying to," I admitted. "You're very familiar." She laughed a tinkling, pleasant laugh.

"I'm Alice Fortescue. I graduated a year ago," she supplied. I snapped my fingers.

"Of course! I should've known," I grinned. We reached a long table filled with people who cried welcome to Mad-eye. He offered them a grim smile and then motioned at me, sitting down. I awkwardly accepted their applause. Dumbledore was sitting at the head of the table. He motioned for me to sit down. I sat next to Alice who smiled at me.

"I have already detailed Iris in the workings of this order and what her responsibilities are. We just need to initiate her." Dumbledore said. He had told me a bit about initiation, but I didn't really know what it meant. "Everyone in favour of Iris Brooks joining this organization, please raise your right hand." The entire table lifted their hands. I felt my heart squeeze. "It looks unanimous. Congratulations Iris." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

Everyone got up and started to mingle. A boy came up to me. I immediately recognized him. He was Frank Longbottom, graduated two years ago, one of the best keepers Hogwarts had ever seen. He shook my hand.

"Congratulations," he said with a roguish grin.

"Thanks," I replied, smiling.

"You're the youngest member the order has ever had, did you know that?" he said. I blinked.

"I didn't,"

"It's pretty wild. We normally don't accept anyone who isn't of age yet, but given the circumstances," he said with a smile. I nodded.

He moved over to Alice as more people began to come up to me. I met a lot of people. Benjy Fenwick, Caradoc Dearborn, Dedalus Diggle, Mundungus Fletcher, Sturgis Podmore, Elphias Doge, Sybill Trelawney, Arabella Figg, Dorcas Meadowes, Edgard Bones, Emmeline Vance, and Aberforth Dumbledore. It was odd, I never knew Dumbledore had a brother. I knew Hagrid was in the order, but I was told he was a bit preoccupied at the moment.

It was a whirlwind. Mad-eye took me aside to tell me he'd be meeting with me every Sunday at the ministry to train me a bit and trade information. It was odd. People were welcoming and friendly, but I knew my position was out of the ordinary and far more dangerous than most projects they'd done before. I was a sixteen-year-old spying on children. I would be directly thwarting he-who-must-not-be-named. Defying him if you will.

It was dangerous and everyone knew it. I, however, was looking on the bright side. This would definitely help out Regulus. I could fully protect him with help from Dumbledore.

When most of the order had left, back to civilian life or to their own personal duties, Dumbledore gave me a tour of the headquarters. There were three floors. The ground level was where we ate and had meetings. The second level, which was underground, was where several bedrooms were and the kitchens. The third floor, also underground, was the training area and an office.

Everything was octagonal. Dumbledore explained the security measures over the place, but he refused to tell me where we were. We were far enough from humans that no one knew we existed. There were no doors to the outside, the only way in and out was the courtyard. It was the only place where one could apparate and because it was in the middle of the building, everyone on the first floor knew immediately when someone had arrived. It was very good for defence.

Dumbledore taught me the knock and told me that the knock unlocked the door, but there was still a spell that looked like a person pointing a wand at you that asked you a question only the real you could answer. If you got it wrong, an alarm would immediately be sent to Dumbledore and Mad-eye Moody and the door would re-lock. The conjured figure would shoot the intruder with a stunning spell. They'd never had an intruder because no one knew the headquarters existed, but it was a good precaution.

Arabella Figg was essentially the caretaker. Someone had to be in the building at all times and she had taken up the position. We finished the tour and Dumbledore apparated us to Mad-Eye Moody's office in the ministry of magic again.

He flooed to his office and once he had departed I flooed to the Gryffindor common room, where I was greeted by the Marauders. Remus was reading a book, James was sitting on the couch, making funny faces at Sirius, and Peter was asleep on the floor. I collapsed onto the couch between Remus and James.

"How was your day?" Remus asked.

"Uneventful," I lied. I was going to have to get used to that.


	74. A Spot of Trouble

There were so many things Mad-eye Moody needed to teach me. First of all, I was being given special secret classes on apparition, mostly because I couldn't rely on another member all the time. It was a secret as I was not yet seventeen nor had I the opportunity to receive the teaching from the in-school lessons provided shortly after Christmas break.

I was going to be given an apparition permit specially from Harold. Once I managed it with Mad-eye of course. I was making progress, but I'd only managed it once.

I was also being taught advanced spells specifically defence related. Things not taught in school. The most advanced thing they wanted me to learn was giving me a lot of trouble. They wanted me to learn how to produce a corporeal patronus. This was by far one of the most advanced spells that a wizard could learn. I needed to learn it because in the event that I needed to alert the members of something and I was separated from them and I didn't have an owl on me, I needed to be able to contact them.

These amazing witches and wizards had discovered how to send messages via patronus. Only the most advanced members of the order could produce patronuses. Both of the Dumbledores, McGonagall, who I learned later was a member, and a few others. Even Mad-eye couldn't produce a corporeal patronus. Nevertheless, they wanted me to try my utmost.

And I was. I was just really, really busy. Between school, quidditch, working for the minister (although, he was giving me more slack), practising with Mad-eye, and Order meetings, I was swamped. Not to mention, I was still doing the job the order gave me: watching the kids on the list. Reporting any odd behaviour and making note of kids they seemed to be trying to recruit.

Quite a few of the professors at school were members of the order I realized. Dumbledore had recruited quite a few of them. Mercifully, most of those teachers seemed to be giving me a bit of leeway. I was good enough in my skills and talents within class, evident from many years of extra practice, that they didn't mind as much when I forgot to do my homework or something. I was so very grateful for them and I made sure they knew it. I spoke to many of them after order meetings.

It was odd, but I seemed to fit in very neatly within their membership. Alice and I were getting on very nicely which was fantastic because I needed a few younger faces to help me along. I was also getting to be friends with Frank, he was quite nice. What I found very entertaining though, was they flirtations. It was subtle, but I got the feeling the whole order seemed to ship them.

They were just adorable, it wasn't hard to see how much Frank was crushing on her. Alice was either oblivious or knew exactly what was going on and was encouraging it just the way she wanted.

Everything in my life was getting pretty hectic, but I hoped that everything would calm down after a bit and I'd regain my footing. Until then, I was stuck doing homework in the locker room after practice and in Harold's office in my few quiet moments. I now stayed up so late that I had to sneak into the kitchens to get light where people wouldn't be bothered.

I was exhausted and it was starting to show.

"What's going on, Love?" James said, plopping down beside me on the couch. I jolted, waking from a split second of weakness.

"Doing my homework," I said, lifting up my quill and looking down at my parchment, trying to remember what I had been working on. James laughed and gently pushed my arm down, removing the quill from my tensed hand, and rubbing my hand between his, reassuringly.

"Looks to me like you're falling asleep. Anything wrong? you've been pretty tired this week," he looked genuinely concerned and I smiled, softly.

"Nothing's wrong, 'm just tired. A lot's been happening," I said, the most truthfully that I could. I couldn't tell anyone anything which might be the reason I feel so stressed. I just needed one person to tell, but there was no one.

"Like what?" James asked, still massaging my hand. It was reassuring.

"Nothing specific, I'm just... I don't know," I said, shrugging, tiredly. James wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I gratefully leaned against him.

"You know what I think it is?" James asked. I made noise, an unintelligible question. "You're worrying too much about other people." I looked up at him, but he was looking away, into the fireplace, eyeing the flames. "You're fixed on helping people. Remus, Sirius, Regulus. I know you've been concerned about your mum quite a bit. You just need to relax a bit. Other people's happiness doesn't rely on you. Which, sounds a bit harsh, but making other people happy shouldn't interfere with your ability to be happy. You are more important to you than anyone else should be."

He was silent for a bit. I pondered what he said. Since when was James Potter a profound, concerned, loving individual? Did I miss something? I watched him, confused. He glanced at me and flushed, looking down.

"Or... or maybe that doesn't make sense at all, I'm sorry, I don't really— I don't... sorry," he said, embarrassed. He was tense now. I put my arms around him, hugging him. He tensed again, surprised, frozen. Slowly, he relaxed.

"That was beautiful. Perfect even," I said, muffled. "I just never knew you were such a dork." James laughed wrapping an arm around me.

"Maybe you just haven't been paying enough attention to me," James joked. I looked up at him. We locked eyes.

"Maybe I haven't..." I said, trailing off. He looked surprised for a moment. He blinked. I watched amusedly as a blush crept up his cheeks. I bit back a laugh and snuggled back by his side allowing him to compose himself.

I don't know when I fell asleep, I just know that I did. When I woke up, he was still sitting there, holding me. I sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"Sorry," I yawned. "I didn't mean to fall asleep." James grinned at me.

"I didn't mind. Also, I might've finished your charms essay for you," he said, offering it up to me. I snatched it, eyes quickly roving the page. Dang, he was really good at forgery, that was for sure. It was also well-written. Not that I doubted his skill. He was one of those kids who can go into a class, not pay attention the whole time, never study, and still ace the test. I trusted him.

"...thanks," I said, quietly. He cleared his throat. I looked up at him.

"...and your transfiguration chart and your history of magic explanation. And your _other_ charms essay." he grinned handing them to me. I gaped, gently taking them from him. I blinked, double checking his work.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked, shocked. James scratched the back of his neck, grinning.

"An hour and a half, maybe?" My mouth dropped open, sputtering words falling from my lips.

"James, Merlin, I really appreciate this but you can't do this, I—I can't allow you to, you could've been working on your own stuff, you need to prioritize—"

"Iris," he said, grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look at him. "It's okay. I have all my homework done, I'm fine. Plus, you needed it. Everyone knows you are perfectly capable of writing your own essays, I just—" he ducked his head, embarrassed. "I just want you to get some sleep, for Merlin's sake."

I laughed a bit at that.

"Thank you," I said, hugging him.

"No problem." We hugged for longer than I would've expected. I pulled away from him and waved a finger in front of his face.

"Never do that again! You can't just do my homework like that, I have a responsibility," I raised an eyebrow. he was laughing, arms up in surrender.

"Okay, okay. I promise," he grinned. I turned away to put the papers in my bag when I heard him mutter something. I swivelled around.

"What did you say?" I narrowed my eyes. He was looking at me, innocently.

"Nothing," he smiled sweetly. I pursed my lips but turned back to my bag.

That night, I actually slept very well. I was grateful because Mad-eye had been hinting that today was going to be intense. But first, I had to get through school. I showered, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair. I put on my robes, not bothering to tie my tie and pulled my hair into a floppy bun. I grabbed Destry who had been feeling a bit restless the last few days and put her on my shoulder. She had gotten bigger since arriving at Hogwarts.

I went down to the common room and exited, quickly making my way to the great hall. I sat down near the end and helped myself to eggs and hashbrowns. I poured myself some pumpkin juice and ate it all very quickly. I then took out my notes from the past classes and was reviewing them when the rest of my friends sat down.

"You're looking better today, Iris," Lily said, sitting down next to me. I nodded.

"Well, I actually got some good sleep last night, so I'm feeling much more energized."

The owl post swooped in as Mary and Marlene sat down. Destry climbed from my shoulder to the top of my head, chirping at the owls flying past. She made himself comfortable and waited as I fed her bits of toast and ham. The marauders walked in and sat to my other side. Destry chirped and James reached up to pet her.

"Gah, I haven't been able to play with her all week," I said. "She's been dying for attention."

When everyone was finished with breakfast we left for transfiguration. We were a large group, but hardly anyone was in the halls. Remus and I were chatting about a book he had started reading and I had already read. We reached the classroom and took our seats. James managed to claim the seat next to me, making me want to shake my head, but I settled for rolling my eyes because Destry was there.

It was a few minutes before class started, but by the time it did, Destry was on our desk, walking around, moving from James to me and back again seeking petting and scratching. Most of my teachers didn't mind her being there so long as she was quiet and I had relentlessly trained her not to make any noise louder than a quiet chirp.

She mostly lived in the owlry at this point, but sometimes I'd open the window in my dorm and she'd come swooping in, missing me. It was quite nice. Sometimes I'd walk around with her on my shoulder and vent about doing so many things and being the order and other things, because she couldn't tell anyone and I needed to express my frustrations without risking the order's secrets.

I truly was glad for the good night's sleep I had gotten because I could actually focus on taking proper notes today. Transfiguration was pretty simple today. We were mostly reviewing the month's lessons. Destry was having fun and I was just glad I was fully awake.

The bell rang and I grabbed my things, exiting the classroom. James was walking with me to our next class, charms when I realized something.

"Oh, Merlin. I forgot my quill," I said, rooting around my bag. I knew where it was, sitting on the desk in the transfiguration classroom.

"Do you want me to come with you?" James asked, as I turned around.

"No, no, it's fine, just tell professor Flitwick where I am," I said, taking off. The halls were empty, everyone having entered their next classroom. I was halfway there when someone grabbed me and pulled me into a shadowy hallway. I struggled, fighting back, but they had a tight grip. Destry had launched herself away during the struggle and I couldn't see her. Not that that was what I was most concerned with at the moment.

Severus Snape was pointing his wand right between my eyes. I stopped struggling.

"What do you want?" I hissed. He leered.

"See, a few weeks ago I asked you a question," he said. I narrowed my eyes. Rookwood was the one holding me, but Dolohov was standing behind Snape, his arms crossed. I wondered if I'd be able to fight them off. "I asked you a question relating to Remus Lupin."

"Yeah, he has Cyclic vomiting syndrome, don't you remember?" I sneered.

"Ah, but I don't believe you," Snape said, tracing the tip of his wand down my cheek. I jerked away, but Rookwood held me tight.

"Why not?" I asked, confused. I prayed my acting skills were up to par.

"I think something else is wrong with him," Snape said. His eyes were narrowed and he was getting much to close for comfort. He breathed in my face.

"Yeah? Like what?" I scoffed.

"Let's list the facts," he said, grinning malevolently. "He disappears once every month, his school file is secret and kept away from the other students' files, his father has insulted Fenrir Greyback a few times before, who attacked their house a few years ago. Oh yes, I've done my research," Snape grinned at my surprise. "He's constantly tired, he always 'disappears' to the 'infirmary' in the middle of the night, and he has scars everywhere on his body. Why don't you just admit it?" Snape sneered.

"Admit what?" I said, refusing to out my friend.

"Remus Lupin..." he paused for dramatic effect. "is a werewolf." I blinked. And then I burst out laughing.

"Oh—! Oh, that's so funny, Merlin, you actually believe that, don't you? Hah! Merlin, you _are_ an idiot..." I laughed and laughed as Snape's face grew gradually redder.

"Shut up! You know I'm right! You know it!" Snape screamed. Tears were running down my face from mirth. I stopped abruptly as Snape pointed his wand in my face. He was breathing heavily, his eyes terrible to witness.

"Snape. Calm down," I said, gathering myself. "Why would Dumbledore allow a _werewolf_ into school? That's too dangerous." Snape was looking mutinous.

"I don't know, ask him!" he said, his voice raising. "I'm right and you know it!"

"Right about what?" A voice asked, coming from my right. We all turned and saw James, wand casually pointing at Snape. Destry was resting on his shoulder. I sighed from relief and promptly threw my head back, connecting it with Rookwood's nose. I head a satisfying crack and pushed away. James threw a spell at Dolohov and I was about to pull out my wand when Snape grabbed my arm and twisted it behind me, pressing his wand to my throat. I stilled.

James still had his wand and was eyeing Snape as I stood on tiptoe, keeping my arm from as much pain as possible.

"Snape. Let go of her," James said, quietly.

"No," Snape hissed. "Not until one of you admits the Remus Lupin is a _werewolf_." James froze, confused.

"Remus? A werewolf? Where on earth did you get that idea?" James snorted. "He suffers from cyclic vomiting syndrome not lycanthropy. There's no way Dumbledore would let a werewolf in anyway. That's much too dangerous."

Snape was shaking from anger. I winced as his wand pressed harder against my throat.

"So neither of you will admit it? Fine. Cruc—" A breath of wind shot past my face and Snape topped over. James' eyes were fire. His wand pointed almost casually, but his jaw was set. Snape was on the floor behind me, unconscious. I stood, shaking. James approached me and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head.

A long time passed as I slowly regained my strength. My shaking stopped. I gently pushed away from James wiping away tears I hadn't noticed before. I glanced down at the three unconscious boys behind us, biting my lip.

"This is going to cause a spot of trouble, isn't it?" I sighed. A bit of dread lodged itself in my stomach.

"Probably," James agreed.


	75. Where There's a Will, There's a Way

"Anything new?" Mad-eye asked as I entered his office.

"Yes," I said, clicking the door shut behind me. I stepped a bit closer and sat on the chair in front of his desk. "Snape, Rookwood, and Dolohov attacked me about—" I checked my watch. "Three hours ago." Mad-eye raised an eyebrow.

"Why did they attack you?"

"They were interrogating me about whether or not Remus Lupin is a werewolf. They've asked me about it before and the cover story I've come up with is Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome, but Snape isn't convinced," I explained. Mad-eye nodded.

"I see. Anything else? Anything with Regulus Black?" He asked, writing down a few notes.

"Nothing new," I said, almost bitterly. I had told Mad-eye about Snape and his friends trying to recruit Regulus and how I was trying to keep him away from that a few weeks ago. Mad-eye nodded.

"Alright, good. Now for lessons," he said and stood up from his desk. He walked around it, his wooden leg and I stood following him to a different door in his office. This led to a small training facility. I had taken out my wand and was gazing around the room like I usually did, calming myself, preparing for whatever Moody was going to throw at me. A flash of red and I waved my wand almost casually, a non-verbal protego. I glanced at Moody who was grinning his odd, slightly malevolent grin.

"Good," he said, shortly. We stood squarely in front of each other. "Today, you're going to demonstrate every spell I have taught you thus far and fix whatever you're struggling with and then the rest of our session you'll be practising apparition." I nodded and turned to face the one practise dummy we had.

"No, you'll be aiming at me," Moody said. I turned back toward him and knitted my eyebrows, but held out my wand accordingly.

Normally, I'd perform these spells non-verbally, but I knew Moody wanted to know that I knew what I was doing. Learning all these super advanced spells both verbally and non-verbally in the time I was given was really really hard, in fact, there were still a few I couldn't perform non-verbally yet. It was really hard.

"Confertis!" I shot at him. This was a spell that focused the energy onto one specific point in the body. It was supposed to cause a lot of pain in one spot to distract the person you were aiming at. Moody deflected it easily. I narrowed my eyes. He wanted me to practice on him because he didn't just want to see that I could perform the spells, he wanted to see how powerfully I could perform them.

"Anidolo!" This was a spell that caused pain in the mind; a migraine so bad you couldn't think. I was satisfied to see that Moody had to step back to deflect it.

"Oculebri!" This spell caused the attacked to momentarily lose their ability to see, all they saw was darkness. Moody deflected it, but I saw him blink a bit. I grinned, allowing myself some satisfaction.

"Confringo!" A spell that caused a specific object to explode. Of course, I wasn't about to use this on a person, it was more distraction-based. I was satisfied to see Moody having to take several steps back to keep strength with his protego.

There were so many spells to go through, but I eventually did it, with a satisfying finish of knocking Moody over. That was a spell I had practised many times before. it was a spell specifically for knocking people over and I had gotten it through Moody's protego. He stumbled back to his feet, but he was grinning.

"Very good, very good... You're improving quickly," he said, nodding. He moved aside and gestured for me to move next to a circle drawn on the ground. I stood beside it and readied my mind. "Remember what I've told you..." Moody said as he watched me concentrate.

Destination, determination, deliberation. I took a breath and turned sharply on my heel. Nothing happened. I sighed but readied myself again. It was a bit embarrassing to spin around stupidly in front of someone watching you very intently, but there was no other way around it. I spun again, creasing my eyebrows, willing myself to shoot through space and end up in the circle. Again, nothing happened. I relaxed my features, took a relaxing breath and spun again, letting myself go.

Nothing happened, but it certainly felt different. The one time I had successfully done this, I had been relaxed, so I kept with that mindset. I calmed myself, emptied my brain of everything except the destination and turned on my heel. Immediately I felt panic as I was squeezed and the breath escaped my body. Before I could blink, I was there, inside the circle. I took a much-needed breath. Moody nodded, unsmiling. I allowed myself a few more breaths before stepping out of the circle and trying again.

I was a bit too wound up and when I turned on my heel, nothing happened. I blinked and tried to relax again. I turned on my heel and I found myself inside the circle. It was slowly becoming less painful. I stepped out and did it again and again, glad I had finally gotten a hang of it. I readied myself for another turn. I spun and came face-face with Moody. I lost my concentration, but I was too far gone to fix my mistake.

I disapparated and it felt different this time. I ended up in the circle, but I was immediately aware of a flaring pain in my right wrist. I looked down and saw nothing. My hand was gone. Splinched. I gritted my teeth and spotted it lying where I had started. Moody, waved his wand and my hand affixed itself back where it was supposed to be. I wiggled my fingers just to be sure. I was fine, just rattled.

"Here's the thing," Moody said. I gave him my utmost attention. "You are relying too much on the benefactor that you have here, a quiet, calm, secluded place. No distractions, nothing to ruin your concentration. In the very near future, you are going to be in places where calm and quiet are not possible; you'll have to apparate with distractions all around you. While it is good that you are able to apparate at all, you need to understand that your concentration must be so good that you can apparate during dire situations, battles, etcetera," Moody eyed me. "You understand?"

"Yes," I said. I wished that I could practice in my own time, but the only places I had access to regularly that I was able to apparate in was the Order's headquarters and Moody's office.

"So, in tomorrow's lesson, I'm going to try to distract you," he said simply. I nodded and we went back through the door into his office. "After that, we will practice going further distances."

It was obvious that the lesson was over because Moody sat down at his desk. I thanked him and left, closing the door behind me. I weaved my way through the chaotic aurors office and got into the lift. I still only worked for Harold on weekends, but no one else knew that. I took the lift down to the Atrium and exited, making my way to one of the fireplaces, but before I could, I heard my name being called. I turned and saw Osumare. I blinked, surprised. She ran up to me and enthusiastically shook my hand.

"Iris! It's been so long! I just wanted to tell you that you made my career! Yeah! That interview with you sold like hotcakes! I'm one of the most important reporters at the Daily Prophet now, can you believe it? Anyway, I was wondering if you could do another interview with you? Are you down?" She said all this very, very fast. I blinked, processing the information.

"What for?" I asked.

"Oh, just some random political stuff, I have a list if you'd like to see it," she said, digging around in her satchel. I stopped her.

"No, no, it's fine, I don't need to see the list," I said, putting a hand out.

"So, will you do it?" Osumare asked. She almost seemed to be vibrating from excitement. I hesitated.

"Sure, when?" I asked.

"Does four o'clock on October Twenty-first sound good? At the three broomsticks again?" she asked. I nodded, memorizing the date to write down later. "Great! I'll see you then!" She said, and off she went, disappearing before I could blink. I shook my head, generally surprised.

I wondered what she could want with me again. It was true, I'd seen her name in the papers a few times since the last interview I did with her, so she must be doing well, career-wise. What politics could she want to talk about? I almost wished I'd taken a look at the notes, but I shook my head and stepped back into line for the fireplace.

In a matter of minutes, I was back in the Gryffindor common room, exhausted and ready for sleep. There was one thing I had to do first before I went to bed. I refused to groan as I walked up the boys' stairs and knocked on the marauders' door. I opened the door to find them in various stages of getting to bed. There was Remus who was already in his pyjamas, teeth brushed, and sitting on his bed, reading. Sirius who was lounging around, distracted from his task, wearing just his boxers. Peter, who was struggling to get his shirt off, and James who hadn't even started yet.

"Hey Roman!" Sirius greeted me. I ignored him and the others as they chorused their hellos. I sat down on the edge of Remus' bed. He inspected me, searching my concerned face.

"What's wrong?" he said, sensing what the other three didn't. I took a breath, readying myself. I looked down.

"Snape knows you're a werewolf," I said, slowly. The room fell silent, staring at me. I looked up, staring intently at Remus. He stilled, hands frozen on his book, eyes unblinking, boring into mine.

"What?" His voice cracked, desperately. I pleaded with him.

"It wasn't supposed to happen, I don't know how he found out, but he's been confronting me and I promise you I didn't tell him, but I don't know if he saw through my acting, but he's been threatening me, but I promise I haven't told him, I promise, Moony." My hands were shaking and my eyes were watery. "I don't know how he knows the things he knows. He knows that Greyback attacked your house when you were little and apparently he's been tracking every time you go to the infirmary and he's connected it with full moons, I promise you I didn't tell him anything. I've been telling him you have cyclic vomiting syndrome, but I don't think he believes me."

I didn't dare look away from Remus, I was too scared I'd miss any reaction. He didn't seem to be moving, he was completely still, processing the information.

"It's true," James spoke. "He's attacked Iris at least three times now, confronting her. Two of the times I was there and the third time Destry got my attention, but he's really adamant. I don't think he's going to stop any time soon."

The room was deathly quiet.

"We should tell Dumbledore! Something! We need to stop him," Sirius said, almost desperately. I glanced at Sirius and saw that his fist was so tight his knuckles were turning white and he was watching Remus desperately. I opened my mouth to speak.

"We can't," Remus said, his voice coarse.

"Why not?" Sirius demanded.

"Then Snape will _know_ it's true," he said. He was looking down into his book, but he wasn't reading. I swallowed, trying to find words. I wished someone would speak up, say something reassuring. No one had any words. I took Remus' hand and squeezed it as hard as I could. He didn't smile, but he squeezed back.

"Wait," James said, slicing through the silence. Everyone looked at him. "Maybe we don't have to tell anyone. Why don't we threaten him back? Not violently of course, but in more... _creative_ ways." He was grinning malevolently.

"Are you saying—" Sirius started, pointing at him, tilting his head.

"C'mon, what are we known for? What is our reputation as the marauders if not for our pranks?" James said, grinning. Remus sat up a bit, I glanced at him and he was staring at James intently.

"You're a genius!" Peter said, clapping his hands.

"Thanks, Peter!" James said, a wide smile on his face. "What do you say?" The room was silent.

"Let's make his life hell," I growled.

"That's the spirit!" James yelled. I looked at Remus and squeezed his hand. He looked me in the eyes, smiled softly, and squeezed back.


	76. Colour Coded and Everything!

A yell rebounded in the Great Hall. We all looked over and saw a furious Snape scrambling from his seat, tripping and hitting the floor with an 'umph!'. His plate of breakfast was gone, replaced with tarantulas. I high-fived James and tucked away my wand. Snape, had been through a special kind of hell in the last eight hours. The night before, we had made a schedule of every single prank we were going to perform on him.

So far, we'd dyed his hair bright red by putting a dried sprig of Reetwood in his shampoo that would last at least a week (crazy to think he showered, but still), we'd rigged his trunk with dungbombs, and jinxed a singing, flying, and incredibly annoying bird to follow him around. We'd also bribed Peeves to pester him to no end, which he was dutifully fulfilling.

The best part was, was that Dumbledore seemed to be turning a blind eye. McGonagall certainly didn't approve, but she seemed to be conveniently missing from the room or from her office whenever we did something.

As the room watched, Snape stalked out of the room yelling at the stupid bird trailing after him. We took that as our cue to head to charms. All five of us swept our way through the halls, giggling and chattering. We bumped into Filch on the way who narrowed his eyes at us and Ms Norris hissed but we didn't mind. We were too caught up in our own success.

Remus was enjoying himself far more than I would've thought. He seemed extremely happy to take control of his own situation and ruin someone for leveraging his condition against his friends. He had come up with at least half of our planned pranks. He was genuinely enjoying this and I couldn't blame him.

Luckily, we had charms with the Slytherins that morning. We entered the room and Snape was sitting in the middle of the room, trying his utmost to ignore the damned bird. Silently, as though we had planned it (no way), we sat around him. Him in the middle, Remus directly behind him, James on one side, me on the other, Sirius in front, and Peter beside him. Snape was muttering under his breath but made no attempt to speak.

Someone else entered the room and we all turned to look. We were all so early we didn't really expect anyone to join us so soon. Silently, Lily, Mary, and Marlene entered the room, took one look at the situation and filed in around us. Lily sat beside me, Marlene beside James, and Mary beside Remus. Now, I hadn't told them anything, and to my knowledge, they had no idea Remus was a werewolf, but they seemed to get the gist of what was going on and seemed gung-ho to help.

Silently, Lily handed me a note.

_Do I want to know what's going on?_

I took out a quill and turned the note over.

_Maybe, but it's not my place to say. Right now, we're helping out a friend. Care to help?_

I slid it back and made sure to hide it out of view of Snape who was looking over, eyes sharp.

_I don't really know what's going on, and I don't know what Snape did, but I will do anything to get back at him for what he did to me and what he's doing to this friend of yours. Mary and Marlene are in too._

Quietly, I took out our colour-coded schedule of pranking. Remus had made it. I handed it to her to looked over. She silently roved over it for a minute and silently took out her wand. She tapped in a few places and new pranks popped up, coloured pink, purple, and orange beside the red, green, blue, violet, and yellow of before. The key at the top changed as well from Red=Prongs, Green=Roman, Blue=Moony, Violet=Padfoot, Yellow=Wormtail to add Pink=Mary, Purple=Marlene, Orange=Lily.

I glanced at her changes for a split second, nodded my head and multiplied the copy. I tucked five of them into my bag to give to the Marauders later, and Lily slid three into her own bag. Lily was smart enough to know which of our nicknames went with whom because we used them so often, she just didn't know _why_ we had them. We had used our nicknames on the sheet just in case someone found the schedule. Lily didn't seem to mind that their names were on it, in fact, she was such a good student, I had no doubt that she could get out of any situation if she had to.

Professor Flitwick entered the room from his own office, paused, glancing down at us, and then silently turned a blind eye. He walked down the steps and approached his desk, not once acknowledging us or even looking at us.

The faked ignorance from all the teachers gave me hope. All the teachers at Hogwarts knew that Remus was a werewolf, it was too big of a challenge for the school for them not to know. Dumbledore wanted to make sure that his professors wouldn't accidentally find out and voice it to the whole class. He swore them all to secrecy and it had just now occurred to me that this was why they were all so silent. They knew they couldn't punish Snape because then he would know he was right, but what they could do was let us get away with punishing him ourselves.

Flitwick bustled around at his desk and completely ignored us. James was quietly folding paper aeroplanes. One after the other, that stack on his desk grew. The bird was still going at it, berating Snape. His clenched fist was slowly growing whiter and whiter. By the time other students started entering the classroom, James' pile had grown and Marlene was shifting them over to her desk to give him more room.

As the classroom took notice of our odd formation and sat down in their own desks they began chattering away, giggling at the sight of Snape. Soon after, class began and it became quite clear that the bird was going to be a problem. Flitwick looked up from the blackboard.

"Excuse me, Mr Snape. Is it possible for you to silence that bird of yours? I'm afraid it's disrupting the class," Flitwick raised an eyebrow. Snape's fist was almost all white now, his knuckles, straining.

"I'm sorry sir, I don't quite know how to—" At once the bird disappeared in a cloud of feathers, all landing squarely on Snape, covering his chair, his bag, his lap, and tangling in his hair. He was practically drowning in feathers.

"That's better," Flitwick smiled and turned back to the blackboard. The classroom giggled. James was finished with his paper aeroplanes and was carefully stacking them in neat little piles on his desk. Meanwhile, Flitwick was asking for volunteers to demonstrate a spell. Snape, in a desperate attempt to regain some level of respect in front of his peers, raised his hand. Flitwick called on him to stand. He did, sending the pile of feathers tumbling and fluttering to the floor.

Snape raised his wand and as he did I pulled out my own.

"Anaticula," I muttered. I didn't need to say it out loud of course, but I had only learned it this morning and I wanted to make sure. Snape waved his wand.

"Aguamenti," Snape sneered, waving his wand in the S-like movement required of the spell. Now, normally this spell would produce a jet of water from the tip of the wand. However, instead of a jet of water, a duck popped out. It landed on the floor ruffled, and not very happy, and it started waddling around. The room burst out laughing as Snape blinked and furiously inspected his own wand as though trying to find fault in it.

Flitwick was very generously trying not to laugh, but he was failing abysmally. Snape, furious, tried again.

"Aquamenti!" he shouted, and again, instead of the jet of water he was so desperately trying to conceive, another duck popped out, and upon landing on the ground, tried to peck Snape's leg. He jumped away and kept trying to do the spell correctly until there were about ten ducks waddling around the classroom. Flitwick, who was wiping away tears, gestured for Snape to sit.

"I'm sorry, Mr Snape, but that wasn't exactly what I was looking for." He called on someone else as Snape took his seat again, kicking away the duck who was still trying to peck him. The class, of course, was generally amused by this display and Snape sat in his desk, as still as stone, but his fist was growing ever whiter.

Half an hour later, and the bell rang, signalling the end of class. Snape immediately got up from his desk and rushed to the door. James, however, was taking out his wand and waving it over the piles and piles of aeroplanes he had made in the last hour. There were hundreds and when he waved his wand, they rose into the air. before Snape was out the door, James pointed his wand at him and immediately the paper planes took off, soaring after him.

The planes were stuck to him like glue and they followed him around wherever he went. They weren't noisy like the bird had been, so the teachers didn't really mind. When he sat down in his chair, the planes would flock around him like a gigantic cloud of paper. You couldn't even see his face when he was sitting. When he was walking through the halls, the things trailed after him like puppies on leashes. Snape tried hitting them and tearing them apart, but when one was destroyed, another took its place.

It was quite amusing to see him in the halls as he was very easy to pick out. We didn't have any more pranks for him until lunch. At lunch, Remus charmed the bottom of his trousers to be sticky. At first, Snape didn't notice. He sat down and nervously ate his lunch, paranoid it would turn into tarantulas again. When it didn't, he grinned and looked over at us.

"What's the matter?" he taunted the best he could while a cloud of planes hovered over him. "Given up? Well, I've got news for you—" and then he stood up. A very audible ripping sound almost seemed to echo throughout the great hall. I bit my lip to keep from snickering and Snape fell suddenly silent and abruptly sat down. All seven of us snickered as his face turned red and he quietly continued to eat his lunch. When he stood again to go to class, James carefully waved his wand and the planes kept following him, but very carefully avoided his rear end, leaving his underwear on display.

I almost felt sorry for him, except for the fact that he was blackmailing my best friend, had attacked me multiples times causing me injury, called one of my best friends a racial slur and broke her heart, and was trying to infect another one of my best friends with his bigotry and hatred. So, actually, I didn't feel that bad.

A few hours later, I was in potions class with Regulus beside me. We were finishing up our last potion. We would begin administering it to our plant next potions class on Thursday, but we had a bit of time to sit and chat. Regulus eyed Snape in the far corner of the room, swarmed by the paper planes. Lily had magicked them into bright, vibrant, rainbow colours just to make him even more noticeable.

"So," Regulus started, nodding toward Snape. "What's this about?"

"It's a bit complicated," I said. "He's blackmailing someone very close to me." Reg nodded, slowly, not able to tear his eyes from the sight of Snape.

"Don't you think this is a bit... harsh?" he asked, a crease forming between his brows. I sighed, biting my lip.

"...Not really," I said, shaking my head. "If you knew what was happening you wouldn't blame me." Reg didn't agree with me, but he finally tore his eyes from the plane-cloud and looked me in the eye.

"Are you sure? I know you're a very fair person, but I know Potter really doesn't like him for no particular reason. I don't _like_ Severus, but I don't think he's a terrible guy," Reg said, imploring me.

"I know what you believe, but you really don't know the whole situation. And trust me, I would tell you, but it's not my place to say." I said, sadly, squeezing his hand.

"Okay," he said after a long pause. "I trust you."

_Thank goodness._


	77. A Mortal War

"Again," Moody said, sharply as I battled a spinning dummy. I hit it with another stunning spell and dodged, alighting near the wall. The magicked dummy followed me, wobbling on its stand. I shot spell after spell at it until Moody waved his own wand and the dummy halted. I was breathing heavily and I wiped a bead of sweat from my forehead.

Moody didn't offer any praise or any word of advice, he just turned and entered his office. I followed after him. He grabbed a few things from his desk, pocketing them and jerked his head, motioning for me to follow him. We exited his office and we made our way through the chaotic auror office. We entered the lift and rode it all the way down to the Atrium. We crossed the room and entered the guest entrance lift. We rose into the ceiling and ended up inside the telephone booth in a hidden alleyway.

Moody stepped out and I followed. We marched through mostly deserted streets and avoided public places. Moody's leg clunked along as we went. We walked for maybe fifteen minutes before ending up in a shadowed alleyway full of broken bottles and a few trash cans.

"Now," Moody said, stopping. He had both his hands on his cane, eyeing me, his bushy grey eyebrows narrowed. "Apparate to the guest entrance and back." A small jolt of fear shot through me, but I didn't let it show. Holding onto my wand I concentrated as hard as I could on the telephone booth, what it looked like, what the alleyway around it looked like. I took a breath and spun on my heel. Immediately my body was sucked into nothing. The squeezing had slowly gotten easier as I had practised more and more often.

I arrived directly in front of the entrance and took a deep breath. Shaking away my nerves, I steeled myself and apparated back, focusing on the smashed beer bottles and the bricks on either side. I arrived and immediately ducked as a green light shot at me from the corner. Immediately casting a protego spell over myself, I rolled behind one of the trash cans.

Immediately, my training came to me. Trusting my spell, I stood and carefully took in what was going on. A man was rushing forward, toward me. I quickly absorbed his likeness. He was very tall and gangly. He had curly blond hair and a very sharp nose. He had a scar above his left eyebrow and he was holding his wand in his left hand. He was wearing blue robes and underneath that were a pair of dress pants and dress shoes. He walked uprightly, perfect posture. As he sneered I saw he was missing a tooth, a canine.

I stood and shot a full-body-bind curse at him. He skillfully waved it away and rushed toward me. I dodged him, trying to avoid being cornered, but he was smart. He had turned me around and now I was backed to the end of the alley. I threw another spell, more discreetly at him, expelliarmus, but he deflected it. He was on me.

I didn't drop my wand, but instead of giving him the chance of making the first contact, I ran and slid, elbowing him in the crotch. He bent down and grimaced giving me the chance to snatch his wand, shoving him full force in the chest and backing him against the wall. He stumbled and I forced him into an uncomfortable kneel as I pushed his shoulder against the wall. I waved my wand and immediately ropes bound his wrists. He made no move against me.

I avoided any questions with any relation to myself or Mad-eye just in case he somehow didn't know Mad-eye had been here and avoiding giving him any idea that I was somehow important.

"Who do you work for?" I asked, harshly. My wand was pressed against his throat, forcing his head against the rough brickwork behind him. He didn't answer, he just smiled. "Who do you work for?" I reiterated, unwilling to fill the silence. Allow them to grow uncomfortable with the silence and they'll answer you.

"Very good, Iris, really good job," he said he had a quiet, smooth voice. It was soothing which made me very uncomfortable with the idea I had of him. I pressed my wand harder into his throat.

"You didn't answer my question," I said, forcefully. He laughed.

"Iris, it's me; Mad-eye Moody. I took a polyjuice potion to attack you when you were off-guard." I narrowed my eyes, not loosening my grip.

"What colour are Mad-eye Moody's favourite socks?" I asked. He grinned.

"Fusia." I still didn't loosen my grip.

"How many biscuits are in the tin on Moody's desk at all times?" I asked.

"Twenty-seven," he answered easily.

"Most useless item Moody carries around with him at all times?" I narrowed my eyes. He cleared his throat.

"None of my items are useless, but the item I use least often is my Vandenburgh Volley gun," he growled. I smiled and stepped away, releasing the ropes on his wrists and pocketing my wand. He stood and took his wand from me and moved to one of the trash cans along the edge. He opened it and pulled out a plastic bag with his actual clothes inside.

"The polyjuice will finish in about fifteen minutes," he said, taking out the clothes and waving his wand. Immediately, the clothes he was wearing and the clothing he was holding swapped places. His old clothes were now ill-fitting due to the change in body type, but the cloak fit just fine. "Now, we have a meeting in ten minutes. You will apparate me there—"

"Not until you've changed back," I said, folding my arms. Moody glanced at me.

"What?"

"Not until you've changed back," I repeated myself. "You said fifteen minutes until the polyjuice wears off? We can be five minutes late." I leaned against the brick wall and glanced at my watch. "Ooo fourteen minutes now." Moody opened his mouth to protest but quickly closed it, taking a spot directly across from me.

The minutes slowly ticked by. Moody was silent, both angry that I was making us late and proud that I was double-checking and triple-checking that he was who he said he was. As the last minuted ticked by the features of the man before started to melt and trickle away, morphing back into the Moody I knew. Squat, hunched and gnarled. When he was finished, he stood on one foot. He bent down and reached for the plastic bag that still had his leg and cane inside. He strapped his prosthetic leg on and grabbed his cane.

"Satisfied?" he growled in his normal voice.

"Quite," I said, grinning. I grabbed his arm and concentrated on the courtyard of the headquarters. I spun on my heel and off we were. The squeezing wasn't as bad, but it did last a little longer. We landed in the middle of the courtyard. I let go of moody's arm and knocked on the door in the code given. A few seconds ticked by and the door was opened and a wand poked out.

"What is Iris Brook's favourite thing to cook?" The disembodied voice asked.

"Soup," I answered. The wand disappeared and a second later Mrs Figg answered the door.

"Oh, you two are late," she said in a wobbled voice.

"That's my fault, Mrs Figg," I grinned and entered. Moody followed behind me and we made our way to the long meeting table on the opposite side of the octagonal building. As we neared, everyone at the table looked up.

"Oh, Alastor, Iris, you're a bit late? Unlike you," Dumbledore said in his calm voice.

"Iris was... very thorough after my test," Moody growled. Dumbledore eyes twinkled.

"Good for her," he winked at me and I grinned. We took our seats and the meeting took up where it had left off.

"Pass!" I screamed, waving my arms for James to throw me the quaffle. He threw it right at me, I dodged a bludger and under a Ravenclaw and threw it straight at the goal. It went through. High above, Lacey raced for the snitch. The Ravenclaw seeker flew after her, but to no avail. She caught it. Gryffindor had won.

Music boomed as I descended the stairs from my dorm. I was wearing a high-waisted, knee-length black skirt and a baggy red sweater with an argyle pattern on the front tucked in. I wore my red converse and I had let my hair out of its tight ponytail from before.

I spotted Mary and made a beeline for her. She was talking with Gideon beside the snack table and they both greeted me as I walked up. Gideon handed me a cup of butterbeer from the table and I took it, thanking in him.

"Great job today, Iris," Gideon said, toasting me. I laughed.

"You too," We talked a bit more until I decided to walk around. I drained the last of my butterbeer and discarded it. I saw Remus leaning against the wall and I walked over, leaning beside him.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"Nothing much," he replied.

"Have you asked Sirius to dance yet?" I teased him. He flushed a bit.

"No," he said shortly. Before I could reply, Sirius walked up to us. He grinned at Remus.

"Come on! You can't be a wallflower this whole night. Dance with me!" Sirius grabbed his arm and dragged him to the centre of the dance floor. After Remus got over his initial shock, I saw him loosen up a little bit and start laughing with Sirius. I watched them for a moment, happy when the song changed. It was a slower song. Boys began weaving through the dance floor finding girls willing to dance with them. I lost sight of Remus and Sirius and when I moved, trying to see them, someone tapped me on the shoulder.

James stood there, a sheepish grin on his face. His hand was outstretched.

"Care to dance with me?" his smile was infectious and I grinned, rolled my eyes, and grabbed his hand, dragging him onto the dance floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck enjoying the slightly shocked look on James' face.

"You're supposed to place your hands on my waist," I reminded him. He blinked and did so, gently. I laughed. "How's life?" James shrugged.

"It's going pretty good actually. I'm really enjoying pranking Snivellus," he replied. I chuckled.

"Me too." There was a slight pause as the music and people swelled around us.

"I notice you seem much more relaxed now. been getting sleep?" James asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, I've finally gotten used to my schedule. Working for the ministry's been a bit hectic, but I've got the hang of it now," I said, smiling. He nodded, satisfied with my answer.

"That's good. I can't keep doing your homework forever," he teased.

"Hey! That was only once and I was asleep," I said, indignantly, but smiling all the same.

"A likely excuse," James goaded me. I just laughed and tilted my head back. Couples all around us were rotating and swaying to the music. It was almost hypnotizing. I looked back at James and saw him watching me intently. My heart caught in my throat. We were very close, practically pressed against each other. I blinked at his intense gaze.

I saw his eyes flicker to my lips. I saw. It was torture to keep myself from doing the same. He leaned closer. Our noses were almost touching now. My breath caught in my throat and my brain seemed to freeze. Nothing around us seemed to matter any more. The music faded away, leaving us in our own little world. I could feel his chest rising irregularly as he leaned ever closer still. Our eyes seemed locked.

"James..." I murmured, looking away. His hands left my waist and grabbed my hands, pulling me back. I looked at him again, my heart beating so hard I could feel it.

"Iris, I—" But he was cut off as a new bassy song started playing. We were shot back into the world, the music and people interfering. I dropped my hands from his.

"I'm sorry, I can't," I whispered and turned.

"Iris—!" James called after me as I ran off. I left the common room entirely, sprinting away. I dashed through the halls and crashed through the double doors, not caring about the noise I made. I stopped running in front of the black lake and dropped to my knees.

A few minutes passed as I caught my breath. I curled up, my knees to my chest. What was happening to me? Everything in my life seemed to be turning upside down. Suddenly, I was an integral part of the fight against You-Know-Who, I was being paid more than I had ever dreamed possible, Remus' secret might get out, Snape was trying to brainwash Regulus, and...

And I had a crush on James Potter.

I had realized it when I looked into his eyes. The heart pounding and breath catching was nothing new. James had that way around everyone. It had been happening ever since he and I became friends. He knew how to make a person imagine things and he was very good at it. I had been a victim of his ways for a long time, but it had never meant anything.

Not until I looked into his eyes.

What had changed? I stared up at the night sky and saw them looking down at me, into my very heart. I rubbed my eyes, suddenly very tired. Whatever this was, I had never experienced it before. A line came into my mind from a poem I had read long ago.

_Mine eye and heart are at a mortal war,_

I had a crush on James Potter.

_How to divide the conquest of thy sight;_

This was never supposed to happen. It _couldn't_ be happening.

_Mine eye my heart thy picture’s sight would bar,_

I spent my whole life resisting it and mostly succeeding.

_My heart mine eye the freedom of that right._

But I had failed. I had finally lost the battle, and now I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't confess. He'd find out about my mum and that couldn't happen.

So, I decided to suffer. It was something I had never suffered before, but then again, there are far worse emotions to be felt. This one just decided to hurt in a different way.

Merlin, save me from my own idiocy, I have condemned myself to my own fate.


	78. Hidden Secrets

"He slow danced with me. He _slow danced_ with me, Iris! I swear I was going to pass out." Remus exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. I laughed, hiding my own pain.

"Awww, Moony I'm so happy for you! See? I told you it'd all work out," I elbowed him. He shook his head, blushing.

"It doesn't mean anything, maybe he was just being friendly..." Remus said, nervously. I barked with laughter.

"Are you kidding me? It was a slow dance! People just don't slow dance with each other as friends," I grinned.

"Sirius would. Just to be funny," Remus pointed out. I shook my head, adamantly.

"No. Remus, he likes you!"

"How can you be so sure?" Remus asked, desperately. "I mean, he danced with girls later and I even caught him snogging Scarlett again. I'd say that's pretty solid evidence against me." He raised an eyebrow, trying to hide his pain.

"Moony, trust me when I say this; Sirius likes—" the door to the dorm banged open and in traipsed Sirius, James and Peter.

"Sirius what?" James asked, plopping down on his bed. I pursed my lips.

"Nothing," I said. Remus had taken a large breath and was holding it, just staring at Sirius, panicking. Luckily, Sirius didn't seem to notice anything. I poked Remus in the stomach and he looked at me, panic in his eyes, pleading with me. I found it greatly amusing. "We were just talking about the dance last night." I finished. Sirius laughed.

"Yes! it was so much fun. Who knew Moony was such a good dancer?" Sirius winked in his direction and I watched, amusedly as Remus let out his breath and blushed, grinning.

"Well, it's time _someone_ taught you. You can't keep blinding people with your awful 'moves' as you call them," Remus teased. Sirius put a hand to his chest, appalled.

"Excuse me? I would have you know I am a fantastic dancer. I've won several awards," Sirius said, inspecting his nails theatrically.

"Sure," Remus rolled his eyes. "If you call excessive gyrating dancing, then you're fantastic."

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy it," Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

They kept at it, teasing each other and half-flirting. It was quite adorable. I checked my watch. In half an hour I was meeting Osumare at the Three Broomsticks for another interview. I got up and grabbed my bed, intent upon walking to Hogsmeade. Halfway down the stairs, however, and James grabbed my arm. I refrained from blushing as much as I could.

"What is it?" I asked him. We continued descending the stairs together.

"Are you going to tell me why you ran away last night?" James said. He was trying to disguise it, and he was almost succeeding, but I could still hear some hurt in his tone.

"Oh," I said, pausing. Buying myself time. I was really struggling. I refused to look into his eyes. After attempting to come up with a reply, I let out a breath. "I— don't really have an answer," I said, honestly. James stopped. I stopped in front of him, finally getting my emotions in check and looking him in the eye. Big mistake. I immediately felt panic. Merlin, he was gorgeous and he looked so concerned for me, he was so close too. I bit my lip and looked down again, saving myself the embarrassment. "I panicked," I said.

James laughed.

"Sorry, I'm sorry. That just wasn't the answer I was expecting." He stepped a bit closer. I looked up again to see him looking at me so intently. "Why did you panic?" he murmured. My heart jumped. I was sure he could hear the blood pounding through my veins.

"Uh, um...ahh...I don't know," I stuttered out. He stepped closer still. I felt a wall behind me. Great. Truly great, really fantastic—

"Are you sure? Or do you just not want to tell me?" James grinned, biting his lip. I felt faint.

"I don't want to tell you," I said, truthfully. He chuckled at that, leaning back just a little bit. I hated that I wished he wouldn't. Before I could embarrass myself further, I stepped around him. "Anyway, I need to go to the Three Broomsticks. I have an interview—"

"I'll escort you!" James said, happily, taking my arm. I stuttered.

"That's really not necessary—"

"Nonsense," James assured me. "Let's go!"

And so, James Potter, ignoring my feeble protests, walked me to Hogsmeade. At that point, I'd shut up and was blushing furiously. James was grinning like an idiot my heart was racing double-time. Why did he have to be so chivalrous? So perfect?! Perfect cheekbones, perfect hair, perfect manners, perfect height, Merlin he was tall, and handsome, and his eyes, Merlin!

We stopped in front of the Three Broomsticks.

"Thank you," I managed to say.

"It was no trouble," James said. His hand were in his pockets. I almost wanted to scream as he looked sideways toward Hogwarts and the light caught his face, framing it perfectly. I stared. "Are you okay?" James asked, waving his hand in front of my face. I shook my head.

"No," I said, my voice cracking. "Yes! Yes, I'm fine." I corrected myself. "Anyway, I'd better be getting inside—"

"Iris! Perfect. Oh, and you've brought your boyfriend! Wonderful, shall we step inside?" Osumare said, popping out of nowhere. Honestly, where did she come from? Ignoring my protests that James was not, in fact, my boyfriend, Osumare dragged us both inside and sat us down in a booth. She grabbed us both butterbeers. I took a sip.

"So, Iris," Osumare said, clicking her audio recorder. "How are you today?" I blinked.

"Fine, I guess. I'm a little tired though. Gryffindor won our quidditch match yesterday, and the party lasted quite a while," I said, laughing a bit.

"I'd imagine so," Osumare laughed her tinkling laugh. "What position do you play again? Just to refresh our readers' memory."

"Chaser. James is actually the captain," I said, gesturing to him. James blinked and sat up a bit.

"Oh! how perfect. Now, tell me, how did you two meet?" Osumare asked.

"We became friends around fourth year," James grinned. "We'd first met in second year, but Iris wasn't too keen on being my friend at that point."

"Oh? Why not?" Osumare asked.

"He was so insufferable! I legitimately could not abide him. Unfortunately, I happened to be really good friends with one of his good friends and we ran into each other quite a lot. James was constantly flirting with me and trying to get a date with me and I am proud to say he still hasn't succeeded yet." I grinned, elbowing him.

"So, you're not dating," Osumare clarified.

"No," I said, taking another sip of my butterbeer.

"Only in my dreams," James sighed, at the same time. I glared at him. Osumare laughed.

"I see you're really good friends now, am I correct?"

"Yes. We have plenty of mutual friends, it would be pretty hard not to be at this point. We've done a lot of pranks actually," I laughed, looking over at him. He grinned back. "It's sort of what we're known for in school."

"Right," Osumare said with a smile. "Is it just you two who do pranks?"

"Oh, no, not by a long shot. There's actually five of us. It's Peter, Remus, Sirius, James and me. Sometimes I help out Fabian and Gideon too, but less often." I grinned. "We never do anything too dangerous, it's just fun pranks to shake up the school year."

"Sounds fun. Who do you share a dorm with?" She asked.

"Mary, Marlene, and Lily. We're close too, they're some of my best friends." I laughed. I drank more of my butterbeer.

"You seem pretty popular in school," Osumare raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm not popular I'm just... friendly." I shrugged.

"Anything in school you're looking forward to?" She asked.

"Well, right now I'm working on a project with another one of my friends, Regulus. We're infusing Dacian plants with potions." I said, smiling.

"Sounds like fun," Osumare grinned. "How is work? Is the minister good to work with?"

"Oh, yes. Harold is fantastic company. He's another friend. Work is work. It's better than most jobs I suppose and I'm earning more money than I ever thought possible. My family has been in a tight spot financially for a long time, so this job is a lot of help." I said, taking another sip of my butterbeer.

"Oh, that's unfortunate," Osumare said.

"Well, it's mostly okay now," I said. James shifted in his seat.

"Thanks for this, Iris," Osumare said, turning off her audio recorder.

"That's it? Ah well," I said, grinning. We shook hands.

"Can I get a picture of you two?" Osumare asked.

"Sure," James said. A plume of coloured photo smoke later, and Osumare left. I drained the rest of my butterbeer and stood.

"Let's get going, shall we?" I grinned. James got up and we walked out. We chatted a bit as we walked. As we walked, I noticed my stomach feeling a bit weird. I put a hand on it, stopping. The pain was growing.

"Are you okay?" James asked, stopping beside me.

"Yeah," I said, shortly. "I'm fine." We started walking again and the pain suddenly doubled. I stopped, clutching my stomach, gritting my teeth.

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't look okay," James said, putting a hand on my shoulder. I was bent down now, gasping for breath.

"I don't— I don't know... what's going on," I managed to choke out. I fell to my knees. James knelt next to me. He turned my face toward him.

"Iris, Iris look at me. Iris!" His voice was slowly fading away, darkness was creeping in. I felt gravity flip over and I was gone.

I woke up in the infirmary. I sat up in a rush of panic.

"Hey, calm down," a voice to my left said. It was James, he looked pale. Worried.

"What happened?" I asked. My voice felt dry in my throat.

"We don't know yet," James said, leaning forward. "You just passed out. I had to carry you,"

"Oh. Sorry," I said, leaning back in my bed.

"No, no, you're fine. I was so worried—"

"Oh, you're awake now?" Madame Pomfrey asked, bustling in. She was leading several people. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Harold, and Mad-eye Moody. James gaped. I sighed.

"Let me guess, I've been attacked? Poisoned? I'm a detriment to the 'secret thing'?" I said because James was here.

"All three," Mad-eye Moody growled.

"Pardon me, who are you?" I asked, Moody, pretending not to know him.

"I am Alastor Moody, head of the auror office," He replied.

"Ah," I said, nodding.

"Somehow, you were given an edited version of veritaserum," Dumbledore said, gravely. My world seemed to spin for a moment. Veritaserum? No. No, no, no. I have so many secrets, _too_ many secrets. None of them could get out. "Can you think of anyone who has ill intentions or had the opportunity to give this to you?" Dumbledore said in my moment of panic. I racked my brains.

"Severus Snape," I said, quietly.

"Are you sure? Keep in mind, this is a very weighted accusation. You being my assistant, this is now a matter of national security." Harold said, gravely.

"I hadn't even thought of that..." I trailed off. "But I'm sure. Snape has been after me all this year. He's been attempting to get information from me for a while now." I shot a look at Dumbledore who nodded, reassuringly. "He's trying to determine if Remus Lupin is a werewolf."

Harold sucked in a breath. Moody shook his head gravely.

"Did he have the opportunity to administer it to you somehow?" Moody asked. Before I could speak, Madame Pomfrey stuck a spoonful of lavender solution in my mouth. I gulped it down.

"It'll drain the tampered veritserum out of your system," she said, nodding sharply.

"Thank you," I said quietly. "I think he did," I said, returning to Moody's question. "It would be pretty easy for him to know where I was sitting. I normally sit in the same seat every day. He could've snuck down to the kitchens before lunch and slipped it into the food directly across from my plate."

The adults looked around at each other, concerned.

"Thank you, Iris," Dumbledore said. Him and the rest of them left the room. Madame Pomfrey inspected my face.

"You seem okay. Let me know if you seem woosey later in the day, alright?" She rushed away to do another job. I threw the sheets off me and stood. James did likewise. We left the infirmary together, quiet for a while. I stopped in the middle of a hallway.

"Iris?" James asked. I looked at him.

"You can't tell anyone about this," I said, shaking my head, desperately.

"O—kay," James said, confused. "Okay. I won't." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around myself. I had too many secrets hidden inside me. I needed to be careful. Far more careful than I had ever been. No one was going to get inside my brain. No one.


	79. Respectfully Yours

What was this? I looked up from the article to find people's eyes and tinkling laughter, whispers following me around. What kind of newspaper article was that? Osumare had told me that she wanted readers more interested in myself in order to get them more interested in politics but this... this was gossip. This was... petty celebrity news!

She went on and on about how it was so obvious James loved me and completely made up a story about how I used to loathe him. I never loathed him, I just didn't like him! Her details too, awful! She made it sound like I blushed the whole time, whenever James even spoke, disgusting.

She had expanded on my relationship with Harold too. I didn't know how she found out the information, but she found out I'd known him since I was little. If she knew this, I was worried she'd find out that my dad _wasn't_ alive. She'd also completely exaggerated my friendship with Regulus. She said that I'd "united the once torn ties between houses".

I was mortified. Nothing she'd said was false, it was just exaggerated to the point of ludicrousy! She'd also interviewed some of the students apparently, although I didn't recognize any of the names, about our pranks. There were a total of three entire paragraphs dedicated to the subject. I slammed the newspaper down on the table and stood. I stalked out of the Great Hall amid snickers.

I sprinted to the owlry, fishing a long sheet of parchment out of my bag. Peeves tried to distract me, he was throwing chalk at students in the corridor.

"Not now, Peeves!" I hissed.

"Ooo ickle Iris is in a bad mood!" He began to sing. "Iris Brooks, the girls with no looks, her nose crooks, cuz it's stuck in books!" It was a terrible tune and his voice crooned so annoyingly that Iris stopped in her tracks.

"Waddiwasi," I muttered. Immediately two pieces of chalk Peeves had been holding zoomed up his nose so quickly and violently that had he been a real person it almost certainly would've started bleeding. Instead, Peeves just shrieked and flew down the hall cursing the whole way. I continued my way up the stairs to the owlry and leaned on the window ledge to write my letter.

_Dear Daily Prophet,_

_I am most displeased with the article written by Osumare published in this morning's paper. It is a disgusting exaggeration and if you expect me to do any more interviews in the future for your paper, I demand either a different reporter altogether, or you give Osumare a talking to. I was happy with the first interview I did with her because it was strictly political. I was happy to do this last interview because I do want kids to become more invested in the political world around them, but what Osumare wrote was simply satire._

_I would like for the article to be pulled from printing immediately._

_Respectfully,_

_Iris Brooks_

_Junior assistant to the Minister for Magic_

Destry hopped onto my arm. I'd been training her to send letters, but this was her first real one. I tied it to her leg and sent her off. I paced a bit, trying to get my emotions in check before taking a long breath and walking back down the stairs. Back in the corridor, I passed Snape. We'd of course, still been giving him hell. His hair was now a bright almost blinding pink and his robes were a clash of stripes and polka-dots. it was hard to look at him.

He still had a few paper aeroplanes flying behind him too. I sneered at him when he passed and he clenched his fist. I was still standing. His stupid potion hadn't stopped me. I was above him. I held my head a little higher and I continued to the common room.

I stepped through the portrait hole and crossed over to the fireplace. Luckily, most students didn't read the newspaper, but gossip still travelled quickly. I wasn't sure how this would play out. Either people would have a laugh about it and move on with their lives, or the article would follow me around for the rest of my life. Refusing this idea, I grabbed the bag of floo powder on the mantle and tossed it into the flames.

The flash of green alerted people, who watched me as I stepped in.

"Ministry of Magic!" I said, loudly over the roaring flames. I was whisked away and in a moment, I fell through into the Atrium. I dusted myself off and made my way over the lifts. Before I could step on, however, someone grabbed my arm.

"Iris! Oh, I am so glad to see you! I need to explain a few things," said a terrified-looking Osumare. I yanked my arm away from her and looked at her coldly.

"Yes? What do you need to explain?" I asked, sharply. Osumare winced at my tone.

"Please, Iris, you need to understand, I had a completely different article written. I even have it! Right here!" She waved a piece of parchment in front of me. I took it and saw a much better, truer article written. It was structured exactly the same as the published article, just... better. "The Daily Prophet wanted some drama. They're convinced you're in the big leagues now and that we need to write about you like you're a celebrity. I really tried, Iris, I didn't want to write it, but they made me! They threatened to fire me! I didn't know what to do, I didn't—"

I hugged her. Right then and there in the middle of the bustling Atrium. Osumare was surprised, I could tell. She stiffened, but after a second, she awkwardly patted my back. I let go, blinking away wetness.

"I completely understand," I smiled. "I knew you couldn't be that bad! I chose you to be my spokesperson, you're the only person I want to interview with. I just need you to write what I want. What I need. I already sent a letter to the Daily Prophet. They get the idea."

Osumare's face broke out in a smile.

"Amazing! you're really on top of it, aren't you?" she was very bouncy. "I really feel bad, do you want to do another interview? Better this time?" I laughed.

"Only when there's something _political_ to talk about. I don't want any more personal articles. What you can do is convince the Daily Prophet to publish your better article for tonight's paper. Will that be possible?" I asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

"I'll _make_ it possible," Osumare said, determined. She sprinted away and I lost her in the crowd. I shook my head and entered the lift taking me to level two. I stepped off and made my way to Mad-eye's office. I knocked and entered. I knew he was expecting me. He was seated at his desk, but when he saw me, he stood.

Together, we stepped into his other room. Today was going to be a taxing day. I would be attempting to accomplish the Patronus spell. We'd been practising this one spell for over two weeks. So far, I'd only managed to produce vapour and a faint silvery shape, but I was determined. I was positive it was going to be a wolf, just like my animagus. All the books I'd ever read had always said that it was extremely rare for someone to have differing patroni and animagus forms.

So, I was expecting a wolf. It was easily discernable in the vaporous clouds I'd produced thus far, but it was something big so I was pretty positive.

Moody sat in his chair at the one side of the wall and I pulled out my wand. I had to focus on a happy memory. I'd tried so many different ones. This time, I'd be focusing on the day I found out I'd be going to Hogwarts. I had been overjoyed because I had always wanted to go, but I'd always thought it would be impossible.

I held up my wand and _focused_. I felt the happiness and warmth fill my body. My heart started beating a bit faster, I waved my wand.

"Expecto patronum!" a large silvery-white light burst from my wand. It wasn't a shape, it was just a cloud. Nothing materialized from out of it. I pursed my lips, frustrated, dropping my arm. The cloud vanished. I took a deep breath and made a fist.

"Iris," Moody started, watching me intently.

"Yes?" I said, sharper than I intended.

"I don't say this often, but what you just did was very impressive." I snorted, interrupting him. He gave me a look. "I'm serious. Patronuses are an extremely difficult branch of magic, even more so that divination, or occlumency. Only the pure of heart and the most gifted can produce one." Moody gestured at himself. "I can't even produce one. Producing even the faintest vapour of a patronus is a large feat, I can't even produce a lick of silver. What you just did, almost every single wizard and witch in the world can't do that. It's something to be proud of." He narrowed his eye at me. His mechanical one was whirring about, unfocused. "So beating yourself up about this isn't going to get you anywhere. You should be proud."

I sighed.

"Thanks," I said. I _was_ thankful, Moody hardly ever gave compliments and this was even more than that, but I was still frustrated.

"Now, run it again," Moody instructed. I closed my eyes and focused on another memory; winning the first game for gryffindor, my second year. I had been a rookie and the entire school had been giving us crap because most of our team consisted of younger players. James and I were both second years, Sirius not making the cut that year, and Fabian and Gideon were third years. Genevive had been on the team at that point, she was a fourth year. Richard wasn't there yet, he would join the next year. Our oldest team members were seventh years, Anthony Villin and Julie Malcomb who was the captain. Everyone thought she was insane, but we showed all of them.

We won the match in less than ten minutes. The school had been shocked.

I focused very hard on the aftermath of the event. Gryffindors had swarmed onto the pitch and picked us up, cheering.

I raised my wand arm again.

"Expecto patronum!" I waved my wand. Again, more vapour. It was weaker this time, a weaker memory. I stood defeated. I was already exhausted and sat down as I racked my brains for another memory. I dug my palms into the side of my head. Even this stupid vapour was enough to exhaust me fully, they weren't joking around when they said it was an extremely taxing spell to learn. It literally drained you of your energy.

I racked my brains for another memory, discarding a few. No more quidditch stuff, I'd already done a few prank-related ones, but those didn't seem to work. I had done more than I could count with my friends, none of those seemed strong enough. They were strong, just not in the way that patronus-casting required. I selected one from a long time ago.

It was one of the last Christmases I could remember with my family. My _entire_ family. Dad had gotten me one of those kiddie brooms, that kind that doesn't hover more than two feet off the ground. I pretty normal parcel for a kid of that age, but I was ecstatic. I remember opening it and screaming for joy. My parents had both been laughing... I froze on that moment, focusing on it. Bracing myself, I stood and lifted my wand.

"Expecto patronum!" I yelled, putting real force behind it. A shot of silver streamed out of my wand. It was a shape this time, I could tell. It was faint and small, but it was an actual shape. Moody's face changed to one of proud surprise. I held it for a second longer and let my arm drop. I collapsed onto the ground. My arm was shaking and I was breathing very hard. Sweat was beading on my forehead and dripping into the roots of my hair.

I was also in a state of partial shock. Whatever I had produced, it wasn't a wolf, I was sure of that. What was it then?

Moody walked up and offered his hand. I grabbed it and he hauled me upright. I clutched his arm as we made our way back to his office. I collapsed into the chair in front of his desk and breathed. Moody handed me a glass of water which I gulped down as quickly as I could. I was still shaking, my nerve ends going crazy.

"Could you tell what it was?" I asked. Moody hmed.

"You understand it wasn't corporeal, so it was hard to—"

"Yes, yes, I know. But there was a shape! You couldn't tell what it was?" I sat up a little straighter in my chair. Moody shook his head.

"I agree, there was something there, but I couldn't tell what it was." He raised an eyebrow. "You need to get going." I nodded, setting the cup down on his desk. he waved his wand and it vanished. I stood shakily.

I made my way around his desk to his fireplace. I was gone in a matter of seconds.

Later that day, at dinner, I was happy to see a new article in the Daily Prophet. The better article. Luckily the few kids who actually read the paper pointed this out to their friends and the whole shebang from this morning seemed to have died down. James was very happy he was included and ordered his own to hang up in his dorm. I saved mine to hang up in my bedroom next to the other two articles and James' doodles.

That night, I couldn't sleep. I was so excited I had been able to produce a shape. I was on my way to a corporeal patronus. I was too jittery to sleep, so I got up and slunk out of the common room. I walked until I found an empty classroom far from anyone sleeping. I pushed away a few desks until I had an empty area to work with. I breathed.

I focused in my mind several memories I wanted to try out. The one where I managed to bake croissants didn't work. Us five marauders finally finishing the map didn't do the trick either. I sat down on the front desk and thought, long and hard.

I tried the memory of me dancing with James in the quiet after the Christmas ball, but that didn't work either. It did seem to work better than the other memories though, so I racked my brain for more James memories. I was exhausted at this point, but I wasn't giving up. I tried the memory of me and him tickling each other in his bedroom after making pancakes. No cigar.

I decided to try one more time before going to bed, otherwise, I was going to pass out. I thought for a good fifteen minutes about the memory I should use. I finally settled on the happiest memory I could think of. The moment I realized I actually liked James. The moment I realized I wanted something more. Seconds after that, I had been appalled, but in the moment. The moment where he inched closer and I met his eyes, that was happiness if anything was. I pursed my lips and raised my shaking wand arm.

"Expecto patronum!" Something lept from my wand. There it was a full, corporeal patronus, and I had been right. It hadn't looked like a wolf, and it wasn't. It galloped around the room and I got a good look at it. My stomach sunk.

It was a doe.


	80. A Second Appearance

Winter had finally shown its face. It had been creeping up, made real by the mist from our breaths, but yesterday had been the first snow. With winter, came many things. The annual Winter Ball, which was coming in about a month, and our potions projects.

"Our Dacian plant is infused with antidote to common poisons, antidote to uncommon poisons, a blood-replenishing poison, and a strengthening solution. We also cast the spell Reparifors, which properties include reverting minor ailments, such as paralysis, poisoning, and shock." I said, holding the potted plant proudly before the class. It had grown quite a bit. The leaves were a supple green-blue, but the thing that set it apart was the roots and veins which had turned a vibrant red as we had infused it.

"Now, to demonstrate," Regulus held a small tube aloft. "This is Essence of Moonseed, otherwise known as  
 _statim mortuo_ , one of the most deadly poisons in the world. Iris, if you would do the honours," he handed me the vial. I uncorked it, swirled it around, revelling in people's sick fascination and downed the entire tube.

The class gasped, and a few girls in the back shrieked. James had shot up from his seat, visibly distressed. Professor Slughorn was babbling around like a fish out of water. I would have been grinning had I not been in immense pain. I doubled over, clutching my stomach, straining and refusing to make a sound.

Regulus meanwhile, had torn a leaf from the plant and was forcing it into my mouth. I grimaced and rapidly chewed, swallowing the sweet milk that had erupted from its veins. I allowed myself three seconds before standing upright. The pain was gone and I felt better than before. I grinned, grabbed Regulus' hand, and we bowed.

People, shocked by what they had just witnessed, gaped until Marlene stood and started clapping. The rest of the class followed suit. Slughorn was still rambling. I smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and Regulus and I walked back to our seats. I elbowed him. He finally grinned, now comfortable doing so now that weren't in front of the class.

"That went well," I whispered as the next pair went up to present.

"I think it did," Regulus agreed, smiling.

"Ooo, this is my favourite shop!" Mary squealed, rushing in and pulling us along. Lily, Marlene, Mary, and I were going shopping for our Winter Ball dresses. Now that I finally had an actual income, one that was actually more than I had ever dreamed, I didn't feel bad buying something so frivolous. I was actually excited to go shopping for once.

We entered the shop, hanging our thick cloaks on the stand and moving inside. A snappy looking woman greeted us. Her teeth were so straight and polished they looked like they were made of porcelain and her hair was so slicked back and meticulous it looked like solid plastic.

"Hello, ladies. Can I help you with anything?" her voice was sickeningly sweet.

"We're looking for formal dress wear for the Winter Ball," Mary smiled. The woman nodded, baring her pearly whites.

"Right this way, darlings." She led us through the store. We passed gorgeous looking gown the whole way until she stopped and pointed us toward an entire room full of gorgeous gowns. "Are you looking for something in particular?" she smiled. Marlene snapped her fingers and the rest of us rolled our eyes.

While Marlene explained her dreams and wishes of a dress to the concentrating stylist, the rest of us searched through the room of hanging dresses. They seemed to go on forever. I wandered, flitting through the hanging dresses. I grabbed a few that I rather liked. A blue one with a V neckline, flowy and layered. A green one with a corset-like waist and tie in the back. A gold one with gorgeous beadwork like vines on the skirt, ebbing their way to the bodice.

A dress caught my eye. I studied it. It was white, which was a colour I had never wanted for a dance. You don't wear white to a dance unless you want to get married. But this dress was different. I was studying it when Lily came up behind me and gasped.

"Iris, you'd look gorgeous in that, you _must_ try it on!" She grabbed it and handed it to me. I inspected it more intently. It was a V-neck but with spaghetti straps and a tight bodice. At the high waistline, it flared out into almost ball-gown-esque skirt, but not nearly as wide. It was tea-length, so it hit at about mid-shin. The skirt was almost feathery and it was layered thickly. It was gorgeous.

Once the other three got their choices, we made our way to the changing room. We decided to go individually to give our opinions. Lily went first. She had several choices, the first of which was a very nice crimson colour that was a high-low hem. it was off the shoulder, with sleeves that went mid-forearm. It had some gorgeous lace on it, but Lily decided that red simply wasn't the way to go.

She had another that was green that we shot down because she _always_ wore green! The next one though, the next one was not a very wintery colour, but it was perfect for her. It was a cheery yellow colour that went down to her ankles. It was an asymmetric top with ruffles across the neckline. It was gorgeous on her and she decided to go for it.

Marlene went next. She only had two options because she had been very picky during the selective process. the first was a dark burgundy colour. It was a bodycon dress with a plunging cowl neckline. It looked gorgeous on her, but she still wasn't completely satisfied despite our feedback. Her second one was completely silver, this time in a tight mermaid-syle dress. it was off the shoulder, but with poofed sleeves. Unable to decide, she decided to get both and use them both eventually.

Mary was up next presenting quite a few. She had a beautiful blush dress, tea-length with fabric roses vining across the bodice and skirt. She had decided to be a bit daring and had opted for a V-line. The next was a light purple number, tight at the bodice and waist where it flared into a thin chiffon skirt with a short slit. The back was a criss-cross of ties, like a corset except more forgiving. After several more dresses, she finally decided to purchase the blush rose dress, a decision we all agreed was perfect for Mary.

Then, it was my turn. I went through the blue, green, and gold ones, all with positive reviews from my friends until I entered the fitting room for a final time and put on the white one. It felt made for me. Any apprehension I had harnessed before was now gone. It was a creamy white, so it wasn't a stark comparison from my naturally pale skin tone, in fact, it made me look pinker. It hit my waist perfectly and cinched it just enough to create my preferred outline.

I quite liked that it showed off my collar bones as well and the freckles dropping from my face to my arms. I had thought I wouldn't like the almost princess-y skirt, but instead of a frivolous, child-like aura, it gave off a sophisticated sleek look I had not been expecting. All in all, I was impressed. I stepped out and my friends went silent.

"Oh, it's perfect. You look like a doll," Lily sighed, contentedly, Everyone cooed over it and I twirled in front of the mirror, quite satisfied. I decided to purchase it, no regrets whatsoever.

"Amazing," Moody mumbled, eyeing my patronus galloping around the room. I grinned, too proud of myself to think about the implications. "have you figured how to send messages yet?"

"Yup. it took a while but look;" I guided the patronus toward me and looked at me, intently. "To Alastor Moody. I lost a lot of sleep over this, so you'd better be proud," I said to the patronus. I galloped away, stopping in front of Moody. It opened its mouth and my voice issued out.

"I lost a lot of sleep over this, so you'd better be proud," it repeated. it dashed into a million pieces, dissipating.

"I am," Moody said, leaning on his cane. "but don't think you're out of the woods yet, you've got a lot more training to go through," Moody said, unsmiling.

"Of course," I said, matter-of-factly. I yawned. Moody checked his watch.

"Alright, you're free to go now. It's getting late," he said. we moved out of the training room and into his office. I grabbed a fistful of floo powder and threw it in.

"Goodnight, Moody," I said. he grunted in return. I stepped into the flames. "Gryffindor common room." I was whisked away. less then ten seconds later, and I stumbled onto the carpet. It was late, so the only people who saw me were some feverishly studying fifth years.

Late that night, I was tossing and turning in my bed, overthinking for the hundredth time this week. I sighed and carefully exited the room as silently as possible. I crept down the stairs and saw no one. I exited the common room and made my way through the halls, thinking. Luckily, I passed no one. As I climbed staircase after staircase, hall through hall, I was thinking about my patronus and what it meant. I knew what it meant, I just hated it.

I reached the seventh floor in a state of complete disregard for everything around me. I was a wandering soul, the world invisible to me. I passed the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy and continued walking before I stopped, spinning around, seeing something I hadn't seen in months. It was the door. The damn door I had stayed up for several nights just to see again.

I walked up, positive I was hallucinating, but when I touched the handle, I was met with cold metal. Blinking in shock, I twisted and stepped through, shutting it behind me. There it was; the room. The room with the long teardrop windows and the tall spiked ceiling. The view over the forbidden forest and the window seat complete with the same pillows and blankets as before.

I slowly rotated, taking in the room one more time, positive I was dreaming. I wasn't. I moved toward the window seat and leaned out, taking in the view as I had done once before. my thoughts wandered off again, fixating on the problem I had become obsessed with. What did I feel for James Potter?

My brain was in a tussle, my second battle between love and war. I still disagreed with James. On so many things. I still despised him for hating Slytherins. I couldn't abide it. It was a difference between morality and someone who willing hated a group of people for being something they couldn't control was disgusting. There is a difference between an opinion-based characteristic and a moral-based one.

One was disliking a kind of soup. One was bigotry.

I knew this. I knew the way James felt and it made me hurt that I had a— a... _something_ for him. I refused to call it a crush until I saw a real change of heart in him. Everything I had told him in that library, those were the only things keeping me from snogging him at any given moment. Those were the changes that needed to be made.

It pained me to know that my patronus matched his animagi. There was no other explanation for it. While my animagus told something about what my personality was like, my patronus clearly showed what I felt safe around. And it just so happened to be the female counterpart of James' personality. It was twisting the dagger already embedded in me.

I wrapped myself in the provided blanket and laid down. The tangle of emotions in my heart was going to tear me apart. Just those few things. I had outlined to him the problems that he needed to actively challenge in order for me to give him a chance. Well, now I was begging him.

I refused to love him.

Not yet at least.


	81. Tired

I dodged the red glow and tumbled behind Moody's desk. I popped up and threw a spell in his general direction, ducking back down again. I crawled to the edge of his desk and rolled, standing and running at him. A blue blast streaked straight toward me. I jumped, it barely grazing my shoulder. I landed and shot another spell at Moody which he blasted out of the way. Growling from exertion, I threw a barrage of spells, one after the other directly at him. He managed to block all of them.

I ducked as he threw another spell at me. I waved my wand and his desk chair lifted and hurtled straight toward him. He managed to curse it out of the way, but he was immediately hit in the chest with another one of my spells. He flew backwards, hitting a bookshelf. It knocked the wand out of his hand and I was there, pinning him down. We were both breathing heavily. Moody took a minute to catch his breath before he spoke.

"Well done," he growled. I stood and helped him to his feet. He took up his wand and slipped it into one of his many pockets. I waved my wand and the room began stitching itself back together. "You're really improving." He hobbled to his desk and sat down. I did as well.

"Does this mean I can go on missions now?" I asked, casually. He looked up, sharply.

"No. You're not ready," he shook his head.

"But you haven't taught me anything new for at least two weeks now! It's just been run-throughs."

"Yes, but learning how to use your skills in real situations is how you improve your technique," Moody growled, raising an eyebrow. I huffed.

"Are you sure there aren't any easy missions I could go on? Get some real situation experience?" I urged him. His one workable eye fixed on me, obviously not happy with my questioning.

"Ask Dumbledore," he growled, turning and grabbing his flask from off his bookshelf. He took a swig. "No matter how prepared you think you are, you will always be caught off-guard. Trust me when I say you aren't ready for the real thing yet." I nodded, sullenly. "Now, get going. It's getting late."

"Do you need help with that?" I asked Regulus. He was working on his Charms essay and seemed to be struggling a bit. We were in the library, sitting against one of the bookshelves. It wasn't very busy today, most students were slacking a bit as Christmas break neared.

"I just can't figure out how to explain what the spell does and none of these books are helping," Regulus replied. He was sucking the end of his quill, dejectedly.

"It is a pretty versatile spell, huh?" I flipped through a couple of his books. "Oh wait! This is a pretty good definition, look at this," I handed him the open book. He read it through and began writing. Regulus and I studied a lot together. It was a bit harder because he was two years below me, but we managed.

"Oh, Iris! Are you working on your transfiguration essay? I need some help with mine," Lily said, sitting down next to me. "Hey, Regulus," Lily said, offhandedly, rooting around in her satchel. Regulus looked up and froze, staring at Lily. I cocked an eyebrow, storing that information for later.

"Yes, I am," I grinned. "Have you started yours?"

"Yeah, but I'm struggling a bit on what else I need to say. Can I look at yours?" she asked.

"Gimme a second, I'm almost done," I said. I finished up my last paragraph and handed it to her. I got to my feet and grabbed my satchel. "I've been meaning to check out a book, be back in a minute." I walked off, smirking. I loitered a bit in the bookshelves, giving them as much time as possible to chat. Finally, I grabbed a book I thought looked interesting. It was about dragons. I checked it out and went back to the pair. They were sitting a little closer together, Lily leaning over, reading Regulus' essay.

I managed to catch a bit of there conversation.

"—if you want some help with charms, I can help you out. Charms if one of my best subjects," Lily said. Regulus cleared his throat.

"Yeah, that'd be nice," he managed. Lily smiled.

"How about tomorrow, after class is over?"

"That works," Regulus nodded. I walked up.

"Hey, I'm going to get going. I was gonna meet up with Rem," I bid them goodbye and exited the library. I wasn't planning on meeting up with Remus, I just wanted them to talk a bit more. I wandered the halls a bit, before sneaking up to the astronomy tower. I reached into my bag and pulled out the dragon book and began to read.

It turned out to be a rather dry book and I closed it and gazed up into the sky. The sun was almost setting, but not quite. I laid down, resting my head on my bag. I was tired. I was tired of training with Moody, I was tired of going to meetings and the only thing I could provide was which kids were going over to the dark side, I was tired of my feelings, I was tired.

It felt so weird to spy on kids at school. I kept a notepad around with me at all times. I kept a running list of kids of vocalised You-Know-Who positive opinions and ones who were blatantly proud of their parents for joining his side. I also kept another list of kids that seemed to be getting targeted. There weren't many, but my stomach always sank when I opened it because Regulus' was always on top.

I wished I could do more than give information. I was also growing a little tired working as junior assistant to Harold. Don't get me wrong, I loved that job, but I was still getting a lot of attention. Articles were being written about me even if I didn't interview with them. It was weird. I almost wanted to stop reading the Daily Prophet, but I wanted to keep up with news about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Last week there had been another trial for a captured death eater and every reporter who talked to Harold talked to me. I had done another interview with Osumare, but it hadn't been published, favoured instead for an article talking about the brutal murder of a ministry official. I was actually glad about that because I had been so exhausted I barely remembered any of the interview. Osumare told me she'd try to publish it, but I assured her I didn't care.

I watched as the sun began to sink. I almost wanted to fall asleep right there, but before I could, an owl swooped in and landed beside me. I sat up and removed the letter from its leg. It flew off. I unfurled the letter and read it.

_Dear Miss Brooks,_

_please make your way to my office at your nearest possible convenience._

_Regards,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_Headmaster_

I rolled it up and stuffed it into my bag, running down the stairs and I rushed to the seventh floor. I stopped just in front of the stone gargoyle.

"Caramel cobwebs," I said. The gargoyle jumped aside and I walked up the dizzying stairs to his door. I knocked and entered. Dumbledore sat at his desk stroking Fawkes who was curled up on it. I sat down. Fawkes raised her head and gave a quiet screech. I smiled.

"Thank you for coming at such short notice," Dumbledore smiled.

"No trouble," I said. "What do you need me for?"

"Alastor has told me you are becoming a bit impatient with your practices, is this true?" I shifted, uncomfortably in the chair.

"It's not that I'm bored, it's just that I want to be able to _do_ something with my new skills. I feel I'm not using them for the reason I learned them," I explained. Dumbledore nodded, knowingly.

"I understand. But I also agree with Alastor, that you are not yet ready for a mission," he clasped his hands and watched me intently. I sighed.

"Yeah," I agreed, unhappily.

"But—" he paused. "There is one mission we are planning that is just a quick in and out. No confrontation, in fact, the people who live there shouldn't even be present. Alastor and I both feel that you are capable of joining the group we are assigning to this mission."

"Okay," I blinked.

"Good. There will be more information at our next meeting, I just wanted to let you know," Dumbledore smiled, crookedly.

"I hate this," I grumbled, wrapping my arms around myself tighter. It was Wednesday, midnight. Astronomy class of course, and me being me, I had assumed it wasn't yet cold enough to wear a jacket. I was very wrong. Professor Sinistra was handing out worksheets with planets printed on them. We were to label the planets with their names.

"Partners?" James asked, coming up behind me.

"Sure," I said. We set up the telescope and I aimed it. I was shaking too much to hold a quill so James offered to write.

"Did you forget to bring a jacket?" He whispered. Professor Sinistra strictly enforced quiet saying that it was easier to concentrate that way.

"No. I just decided not to wear one," I shivered.

"Oh,"

"I didn't say it was a good decision," I joked. He chuckled under his breath as professor Sinistra walked by us. A few more minutes went by as I quietly told James which planets were where and he wrote them down. Soon, it got the point where I was shivering so much, I kept bumping into the telescope. James laughed and took off his jacket, wrapping it around me, leaving him in his pyjama shirt.

"James, you can't give this to me!" I protested.

"Well, I just did," he said grinning.

"No, no, no," I said, taking it off and handing it back to him. He refused to take it back. "James, if you don't put this back on, I will... do something!" I hissed. He laughed.

"That doesn't seem very specific," James smiled. I cocked an eyebrow and dropped the jacket onto the floor. Turning back to the telescope, I re-started my work. James stood still for a bit, before picking up the jacket and putting it back on. I sighed and tried to find mars. Something wrapped around me. I stopped. James was hugging me.

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

"Now we can both be warm," he said, matter-of-factly. I tried to protest but my words were coming out jumbled. "Have you found Mars yet?" I nodded and pointed on the paper. He picked up the quill and wrote down 'Mars'.

We continued like that. I tried not to think about it too much as we finished up. We signed the paper and handed it in to professor Sinistra and walked back down the steps. James grabbed my hand. I sighed.


	82. Hot Cocoa

"Hey, Iris! Reg!" Lily called behind us. Reg? Interesting. She sidled up beside us, dodging other students in the hall. "You going to lunch?" she asked.

"Yup," I said. "We were gonna grab some food and find an empty classroom."

"Sound like a good idea. Mind if I join you?" she grinned.

"Not at all," Regulus smiled. We entered the great double-doors and snatched sandwiches and sides as we so chose and headed out. It took us a bit to find one that was well-secluded and far from prying eyes that would disallow this, but we quickly found one. We set our things down carefully and grouped in a haphazard circle. I dropped my satchel off to the side and let its contents spill out.

We chatted as we ate, over the stupid rule that was 'eat at your house's table' and other things. Books mostly. Lily still couldn't get over our plant demonstration.

"That was Reg's idea," I grinned, nodding at him. Regulus almost chocked.

"It most certainly was not," he said. "That was all your idea." He elbowed me. I laughed.

"Eh, maybe it was." Lily shook her head.

"You two are crazy." Reg and I just laughed.

After we were done with our lunches, we packed up our stuff and left the room.

"Hey, Reg, do you need any help with Charms today? I've just finished all my homework so I can help you out if you want." Regulus nodded.

"Yeah, that'd be great," he smiled. When Lily wasn't looking, I pinched him. He looked at me, threatening me with his eyes. I just smiled. They departed, headed toward the library and I made my way back to the common room.

The full moon was next week, unfortunately just two days before the Winter Ball. I was hoping and praying that Remus' transformation would be an easy one because I really wanted him to be able to go. Specifically, so I could bait Sirius into asking him to dance again, but that was beside the point. On the way, I passed Snape. I struggled not to stiffen. We had all collectively decided that a week's worth of pranks were enough to send the message. So far, it had seemed to work. He hadn't so much as hissed at us. Glaring stares were certainly abundance, but other than that, nothing.

He was muttering something to himself and I took a breath, hurrying past him. I soon reached the portrait hole and clambered through. There, sitting on the couch was the group. I jumped over the back of the couch to settle next to Sirius. He laid down in my lap and I began to braid his hair.

James and Remus were arguing about whether or not a Reparo spell could mend bones.

"It can't James, that's why we have a separate spell," Remus rolled his eyes.

"Yes, but Reparo can mend anything, right? It'd work," James insisted. Remus groaned.

"It says in our textbook to never use it on injuries because it could leave scars," Remus insisted.

"So it _does_ work! Just not very well," James tapped the side of his nose and Remus groaned. I just shook my head and finished off Sirius' braid. I pushed Sirius aside and climbed behind James who was sitting on the floor. I ran my fingers through his hair and began to braid his too. His was much shorter than Sirius' but it was long enough to braid anyway. James relaxed under my touch and I focused.

We'd already made a plan for this full moon. If it was a good transformation and Remus was up for it, we'd sneak him into the forbidden forest and into the field where we'd wrestle and hopefully wear the werewolf out. We'd noticed that when Remus was exhausted his transformations back were usually easier. We didn't have any end-of-year pranks simply because we wanted to capitalize on our Snape pranks and honestly, we were looking forward to a bit of a break.

I finished with James' braid and sat up, crossing my legs, and pulling out a book. It was quite difficult to read it, however, because my mind was momentarily focused on one thing and one thing only; the mission. Dumbledore had not given me any more information since our last meeting and Moody was stubbornly not telling me a thing.

All I knew was I was going. I didn't know whether or not to be excited. I was glad I could finally use all my new training, but then again, they had already said no one was going to be present at the 'place'. They hadn't even told me where it was I was going to be infiltrating.

It was hard to be frustrated though, all I could think was the fact that I was finally being useful. I was finally doing something. There had been another trial for a death eater, one who was really high up on the ladder too, so it gained a lot of attention from the newspapers. There had been a panel of which I was included, where reporters asked us questions for what felt like hours. I had been seated up there with Harold, the head of Magical Law Enforcement, and Moody, as he was head of auror office. There were also several others that I didn't know, but there seemed to have worked in the same office that the deather eater had.

I had answered more questions than I could count and one answer got me front page of almost every single newspaper published that day.

'Do you think we the people have the power to stop this threat?" was the question. My exhausted self took a moment to answer.

"There is always a way to stop a threat. This threat only exists because we let it. Allowing our peers and our fellow witches and wizards to believe things like this, awful things, like muggles ought to be enslaved, or that muggle-borns are lesser people, animals essentially, hurt us a people, as a nation. If we allow these beliefs or even just these ideas to thrive we're tearing ourselves apart at the seams. These beliefs are _not_ tolerable. They are disgusting and inhuman. To stop a threat it to debunk any thought that hurts us and can gain traction just from existing and being controversial. There is always a way to stop a threat, and it is to stomp it out at its core; at its belief."

I don't even remember saying all that, but it was quoted in every single newspaper I happened to pick up. I had kept the article from the Daily Prophet, which included a moving picture of me pointing and gesticulating as I gave the quote. Harold was thoughtfully nodding beside me. After the panel interview, Osumare had pulled me aside and interviewed me even more 'available on page 3', it was. I barely remembered that interview, everything had gone fuzzy after a while I had been so exhausted.

It was a good interview, but I was sick of reading about myself. Someone in the school thought it'd be a great idea to pin on of these newspapers to the school bulletin right next to the apparition flyer for the year and the school was buzzing. Someone had actually asked me to sign their copy, which I did, but not without general shock.

I was tired, that was the bottom line. Sleep was a genuine gift I soon realized and on those nights where I couldn't find it, I wandered my way up to the seventh floor. The room had not reappeared since the last time, but I still felt comforted just walking along in that corridor. Mrs Norris had spotted me several times, but I'd always managed to weasel my way out of detention from Filch.

It was really easy, just compliment his cat and point out any of the paintings he's restored which were quite a few. I mean, he didn't like me, but he tolerated me, which was more than any other student in this school could claim so it was a genuine accomplishment.

I was brought back to earth as Remus elbowed me. I jerked awake.

"What?" I asked, looking around.

"Well? Do you think I could lift a house with the levitating spell?" James asked.

"That's ludicrous," I snorted. "Everyone knows a levitating spell can't lift anything bigger than your concentration and James, you've got terrible concentration." Everyone cracked up and I smiled. Yup. I've still got it.

"You come here often?" Came an all too familiar voice. I was sitting in the kitchens, hands cradling a mug of hot cocoa. James was descending the steps, grinning at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Only when I can't sleep," I answered. James grinned. He sat down next to me on one of the short little stools the house-elves had provided. Folly scurried up and handed James a mug as well and he accepted it with his thanks. He began carefully blowing on it.

"That interview you did..." James started, thoughtfully. I hmmed.

"What about it?" I asked, sipping my mug. He blew a bit more and carefully took a small sip before lowering it.

"It was very inspiring," he nodded. I laughed and he raised an eyebrow. "What? It was."

"Yeah, I guess," I shrugged. "I mean, it wasn't anything special. They only care because I'm 'young' and 'hip' and it'll get them more readers." James shook his head.

"It's not just that, you're very articulate, aren't you? It always seems like you know just what to say. You're quotable," he took a longer drag of his cocoa. I was silent for a moment, processing what he had said.

"... I guess." I allowed. I tapped my fingers along my mug. James looked at them moving and looked up at my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he said, interpreting my anxiousness correctly.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "Maybe it's just everything." We sat in silence for a long time. It wasn't awkward, we were just caught up in our own thoughts.

"Has anyone asked you to the Winter Ball yet?" James asked, conversationally.

"Oddly enough, no," I said, shrugging. "I don't really mind, I'd probably turn them down anyway."

"Why?" James asked, shocked.

"Dunno. I just would," I took another swig from my cocoa and set down the mug as it was now empty. I fully expected him to turn and ask me something smooth and to the point. 'Would you turn me down?' or 'waiting for someone specific?' with a stupid wiggled eyebrow, but he didn't. "Has anyone asked you?" I asked, breaking the expectant silence.

"A few," he admitted. "And to be fair I didn't say no because I still like you, they weren't my type. Giggly, desperate things. And I don't throw that description around lightly," he wagged a finger. I laughed.

"I know,"

"It's more fun to dance with as many girls as possible anyway. Sirius and I normally have a contest, but I dunno if he'll be down this year," James hmmed.

"Oh, really?" I smiled.

"No. I think he's gonna try to dance with Remus all night," he said.

"Merlin, I hope so," I groaned. James laughed.

"Yeah, me too." We sat in more companionable silence. James finished his mug and set it down next to mine. "Hey, you wanna do it with me?"

"What, dancing with as many people as possible?" I asked. James nodded. "Sure," I laughed. "Prepare to be beaten."

"Ha! Not likely," James teased. "I've beaten Sirius every year."

"Prepare to eat your words, boy." I grinned and elbowed him. He elbowed me back, laughing. We sat for a bit more, the quiet bustling of the house-elves around us, comforting.

"Bed?" James asked.

"Yes," I sighed. We got up and exited the portrait. We weaved through the halls, whispering gleefully and trash-talking. James wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned on him. It was dark enough that it covered my blush.


	83. The Forgotten List

I walked up the sloped path to Hogsmeade, my cloak collar pulled up as high as it could be. The wind and snow struck my face, stinging it. I was re-starting my job at the Three Broomsticks today. I didn't really need the job now that I was making a rather large sum of money from my Keystone job, but I'd promised I'd work one more winter for Madame Rosemerta who seemed determined to keep me around. And anyway, after I paid Marta for the year, I'd be glad for the extra money.

I struggled through the wind and finally reached their front door. I pushed through and took a breath of the warm air. I hung up my cloak and stepped behind the counter, clocking in and grabbing my apron.

"Iris! Good to see you, dear," Madame Rosemerta called, rushing to give me a rather squished hug. I smiled.

"Good to be back,"

"Alright, well I'd better not keep you," she teased, wagging a finger. I grinned and got to work, taking a couple's order.

It was whirl-wind day, but at the end of my shift, I trekked back to the castle. I'd only be working Sundays, all my others taken up by my other job, but Rosemerta was just glad to have me back, both for business and because I was a hard worker. As I neared the castle, I saw Hagrid dragging an extremely large pine tree up the front hill. I waved and he waved cheerily back.

Seeing the tree made me remember the winter ball coming up. It was only two days away and I was actually very excited. Tonight, however, I had to focus on another subject. Tonight was the full moon. Us Marauders were hoping for a quick recovery from Remus so he could fully enjoy the ball. The sun was slowly sinking below the horizon and I quickened my pace, reaching the double-doors and hurrying to the Gryffindor common room.

I reached the portrait hole and was surprised to see James, Sirius, and Peter already waiting for me. As I neared I noticed their ashy complexions. Stopping in my tracks, I stared at them. Sirius looked like he had been crying and Peter actively was.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" I asked, haltingly. Peter hiccupped.

"I've messed up," Sirius said, voice cracking. He bit his lip, refusing to meet my gaze. I looked at James who seemed to be struck dumb. I couldn't understand his expression.

"What do you mean?" I asked, slowly.

"I've messed up so bad, I'm such an idiot, Merlin!" Sirius looked like he was going to cry again.

"What did you do?" I asked, feeling my heart pound in my chest. "Can it wait? We need to get to Rem." Sirius was shaking his head, panicking.

"That's just it," Sirius said, hiccuping. "I told Snivellus." It hit me like a punch in the chest. I couldn't breathe, my world tilted, everything went foggy. My brain couldn't comprehend what he'd just said, my hands started shaking uncontrollably.

"What?" My voice was dry. Sirius was crying again now, sobbing, breathing harshly.

"He was trying to get information from me, and I sort of said it as a joke, I panicked, I told him 'if you wanna find out, all you need to do is press the knot on the whomping willow'. I didn't think he'd understand what I meant," he was shaking, but I was too in shock to comfort him. "He's going down there tonight—"

He didn't even finish his sentence before I was off and running, barrelling through the halls, not stopping even when I shoved the front doors wide open, a blast of freezing wind to my face. I could see him. The whomping willow had stilled, frozen. He was moving toward the opening in the bottom. I sprinted after him, trying not to slip in the snow.

"Snape! Don't do it!" I screamed. He looked back at me, his face shadowed, but I saw the glint in his eye. He slipped through and as I neared the tree started moving again. It struck me across the face, knocking me down. I heard someone come up beside me. James lifted me to my feet, pulling me back. I shook the snow from me.

"He got in," I panted. Sirius and Peter met us, staring at the tree. Peter transformed and in no time flat, had touched the knot. It froze once more. As though reading each other's minds, we bounded through the hole. Sirius transformed, bounding past. We rushed forward and caught up to Snape who had been knocked to the ground my Sirius. Sirius wasted no time on him, rushing to the end of the passage and up into the house. he would distract the werewolf.

Snape got to his feet, glaring at James and I. He made to pull out his wand, but I hissed. Glancing at me, Snape dropped his hand from his pocket.

"You need to get out of here Snape, it's not safe," James said, decidedly calmer than I felt at the moment. Snape sneered.

"Oh, sure. Trying to be valiant now, are—" he was cut off by a howl. It was long and echoed through the passage. Snape clamped his hands over his ears and James and I looked at each other in a panic. Sirius couldn't hold a werewolf for long and Snape wasn't an animagus. He was in serious danger.

I grabbed Snape's arm and tried to pull him back, but he pulled away, rushing toward the opening. I caught him by the arm, preventing him from climbing through. I struggled to keep him back and as I struggled I heard a large crack and a crash and something hit the sidewall of the room we were staring into. Snape wrenched himself free and the door broke open, spewing shrapnel and chunks of wood into the room.

Two hunting yellow eyes bounded forward and howled again. Snape went white and I was able to pull him back. Moony's eyes caught the movement and started straight toward us, but a streak of black struck him in the chest and he stepped back. He growled yelping, as a bloodied and bruised Padfoot stood his ground.

I shoved Snape at James who immediately grabbed him and pulled him away, I rushed after them, senses tuned to the fight behind us. As we neared the end of the tunnel, a yelp and a crash sounded. I turned back and heard what was coming.

"James! Get him back to the castle!" I yelled and rushed back. As I sprinted I focused and before long I was pounding down the tunnel, my green eyes narrowed and my teeth bared. I met Moony halfway. He was mad and it took all my force to push him back. He roared, seething and yelping as I bit and pushed him back. Sirius did not join me and I felt a nervous pang echo in my chest.

I continued forcing him back, but before long, I was tired. But not the werewolf. Moony swiped at me, flinging me to the wall and bounded past. I fell to the ground and stood, racing behind him. I exited the hole and jumped on his back, latching my teeth around the back of his neck and clawing. He yelped, trying to grab me. He flung me to the ground, where I lay, bruised and broken.

Before he could move, however, a branch the thickness of a tire struck him in the chest and he was flung away. I saw James fighting a wide-eyed Snape back toward the castle, but he punched him in the face and sprinted toward us. I tried to get up, but a flaring pain in my ribs stopped me. I yipped, trying to warn Snape not to come any closer.

Moony was standing, shaking his head and backing away from the tree. Snow stuck to his fur. Snape was pulling out his wand, pointing it at Moony, when out of nowhere, Prongs bounded in, knocking Snape's arm aside and rushing at Moony, antlers down, galloping. Snape stood where he was, dumbfounded. I struggled to sit up and changed back to my human form. My fingers were numb from the frigid air.

I rushed to Snape, clutching my upper stomach. I'd broken something, that was for sure. A cut above my brow was dripping into my face, but I ignored it, grabbing Snape and pulling him to the castle. He didn't fight me. I shoved him through the doors and closed them, running as fast as I could to help James.

He was fighting for his life. He'd transformed back to his human form to access his wand. I pulled mine out, hissing as my rib injury flared and rushed forward to join James' side.

"Is Snape safe?" James yelled over the howls of Moony.

"Yes!" I screamed back, shooting a spell at the rabid werewolf. Peter popped up beside us and he pulled out his wand. His nose was bleeding.

"God hid by de whombing willow!" he said, thickly through the blood. His wand was pointed at Moony as well. We fought and danced as Moony attacked and we were growing tired.

"Let's try to lure him back toward the willow!" I yelled. Peter nodded and turned toward the tree. Moony saw and rushed after him, James and I close behind. Before he could reach it, however, Peter tripped. We screamed as Moony bore down on him, but the whomping willow had other plans. A snaked tendril inched out and grabbed Peter, flinging him in a completely different direction. The willow snagged the end of my cloak and tore it off. Freezing winter air sliced into my, but I ignored it.

Moony, learning from last time, backed away from the tree and came face-to-face with us. He sneered, his teeth born, yellow and really, really scary.

James and I slowly backed away, anticipating his moves and he slowly backed us toward the castle. I was breathing heavily and was on the verge of hyperventilation before James spoke.

"Stunning spell on the count of three. One..." I joined him. "Two..." we spoke together. "THREE!"

Two stunning spells rocketed from our wands and hit Moony straight to the chest. He slowed but kept coming. We held our ground, the two red streams joined. Just as he was getting dangerously close, three more streams came from behind us, blasting Moony off his feet, knocking him to the ground, unmoving.

We let out breaths as we looked behind us. Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Madame Pomfrey rushed toward us, faces pale. Snape stood behind, casting a long shadow on the ground from the wide front doors. Madame Pomfrey knelt in front of the knocked-out werewolf and inspected the damage.

McGonagall helped me to my feet and lifted my hand away from my bleeding upper stomach. She clucked her tongue and cast a warming spell on me. Dumbledore was surveying the scene gravely. The whomping willow swayed menacingly in the distance.

Pomfrey had James and I sit on the snowy steps and not move while she handled Remus. We did as she asked, too tired to speak. We had been battling for an hour or more. Sirius' passed out body was brought out of the shrieking shack and lain down beside us. Peter was found a good twenty feet from the whomping willow, whimpering and clutching his leg. It had been broken on impact.

The passed out werewolf was deposited back into the shrieking shack and left for the night. Somehow we managed to get to the infirmary where Madame Pomfrey began healing us. Snape was unusually quiet throughout the whole process. Once we were laid in out cots, medicine administered and spells cast, that's when the questions came.

"So? Do you have an explanation for all this?" McGonagall fumed, arms folded tight across her chest. She was in her nightgown underneath her cloak, I realized. Her strict black hair was down as well. It was almost unnerving to see her without her severe knot atop her head, but her deadly eyes were the same.

"It was my fault, professor," Sirius spoke quietly. Everyone turned toward him. "I told Snape how to get into the whomping willow and if he really wanted to find out in Rem was a werewolf he should see for himself. I didn't realize he'd take me seriously," he spoke. His face was ashen and his eyes were sunken. He looked more disappointed in himself then I'd ever seen him.

Snape was standing behind the scene, against the wall, looking down at his shoes. McGonagall asked for all our perspectives of what happened. Sirius explained that he went in himself to buy James and me time and got knocked out by Remus and didn't remember anything after that. I explained how once James and I got Snape out of the tree I went back to help Sirius, but only succeeded in distracting Remus from biting Sirius. I explained how Remus got out and I was hit by the whomping willow and James stepped up to protect Snape. I explained getting Snape to the castle and joining James.

Peter explained how in the beginning, when James and I went in to get Snape, he got hit by the whomping willow and blacked out for a few minutes. By the time he came to, James and I were battling Remus. He helped us lure Remus toward the whomping willow, but was grabbed and thrown into the air. He broke his leg and was forced to watch.

James explained getting Snape out of the whomping willow and toward the castle. He explained seeing me injured and battling Remus one-on-one. He explained to me and him trying to stun him to no avail. Those were our stories, we just had one left. Everyone turned toward Snape who was still staring at his shoes.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" McGonagall asked. Snape was silent for a moment.

"I just wanted to see if I was right," he murmured. McGonagall fumed.

"You dare? You dare risk your life and the lives of students around you just to see if you were right?! Disgusting behaviour! Taunting and bullying Mr Lupin for weeks, attacking his friends for information and then trying to expose him?! You should be ashamed of yourself! If it were up to me you'd have detention for the rest of the year!"

Snape took the yelling calmly, still staring at his shoes. I watched his fist slowly tighten and turn white. Sirius spoke up.

"To be fair, professor, I was the one who told him," he said, miserably. She turned toward him.

"I am fully aware, Mr Black, and you will serve a punishment for it," she turned back toward Snape. "Fifty points from Slytherin. I am taking you to Professor Slughorn. Come along." He did. The room was silent. Dumbledore began to speak.

"I would like to congratulate you all on a good fight," he smiled an unassuming smile. "it is incredibly difficult to keep a right head when you're fighting for your life." He nodded.

"Thanks, professor," James said, quietly after a pregnant pause.

"It is even more impressive, however, to work as a team and protect each other whilst doing so. It is amazing that you managed to keep Remus safe while he was trying to kill you, and Snape safe even though he may not be on your good sides. I am proud." His eye twinkled. The spirits of the infirmary lifted a bit. "I'd like to award the Gryffindor house one hundred and fifty points for this."

We didn't speak, instead, blinking in shock. Dumbledore chuckled and moved to shake each one of our hands. He stopped at Sirius, who was looking miserable and on the verge of tears. he leaned down and whispered something in his ear. Sirius looked up at him in surprise, a tear dripping down his face. He nodded and Dumbledore smiled.

He walked back toward the door and stopped before shutting it behind him for a moment. He shook his head and with a smile, shut the door.

The next morning it was announced that the school had been attacked and the Winter Ball would be postponed until after winter break. it didn't take long for a rumour to start that all five of us were in the infirmary because we had helped defend it. Theories and accusations were running loose around the school as to who had attacked. The most widely accepted theory was that it was death eaters, but McGonagall had instructed to say nothing about the matter.

Snape was sworn to secrecy and was sentenced to two weeks of detention to be served every night. All of us thought it was a rather light punishment, but we all knew Slughorn. He was a pushover and he never wanted any of his students to dislike him.

Remus had been unconscious for almost twenty hours and the second he woke up, Sirius confessed everything. The rest of us were quiet, wanting to give them their moment. Sirius hadn't looked up the entire time, instead, fiddling his thumbs. Remus was quiet for a solid minute before standing and carefully making his way to Sirius' bed.

Sirius began to shake, trying not to cry again as Remus neared. He stood in front of him unmoving, and then, surprising all of us he sat down, and wrapped his arms around Sirius, hugging him tightly. Sirius was shocked, unable to move.

Carefully, he wrapped his arms around Remus and hugged him back, letting his tears fall. I saw Remus tear up too, but he quickly blinked it away. We let them have their moment.

Three days later, the last day before winter break, James and I were let out of the infirmary early. We were let out before the other three, them being more injured than us. We decided to step outside for a bit. We crunched through the snow, coming to a stop in front of the whomping willow. I sighed, my breath clouding before my eyes.

"I didn't really want to mention it," I spoke, "But I was really surprised to see you fighting so hard to protect Snape of all people." I chuckled trying to mask just how surprised I was. James nodded.

"I was too, honestly, but while I don't really like Snape, saving someone's life is far more important than teenage rivalry." He chuckled. I blinked, surprised by his answer.

"Well, um..." I started trying to say something. James shrugged, continuing.

"And, it helps to have the motivation to do so." My brows furrowed.

"Motivation?" I asked.

"Don't you remember?" James grinned, turning toward me. "You gave me a list. Arrogance, ignorance, and prejudice." My eyes widened.

"The three things to change..."

"To get you to date me," James finished, a grin on his face. I blinked, surprised, trying to hide the blush slowly creeping up my cheeks. We stood there for a few more minutes, a smug grin on one of our faces, and a face trying to be furious and failing. I turned and headed back up to the castle, James quickly pursuing me. As we neared the castle doors James glanced at me.

"Are you cold, or is that blush for me?" he grinned and I groaned.

"Shut up," I hissed. He laughed.


	84. A Madman

James had invited me to his house for Christmas Eve again. I was very excited about it, I didn't want to spend another thankless, lonely Christmas with my mother ever again. However, I also didn't want to think about just how far my crush had gotten. I could barely look him in the eye, and the only time I could ever muster up quips and teasings were if he caught me off-guard. I'd gone to mush.

Merlin, he'd followed my damned list to a T and I had a hard time not being... attracted... to this new side of him. I hated it.

But, I was excited for Christmas, and I was also quite excited to finally be able to give gifts. I had informed my friends with some feigned reluctance so as not to confuse them (none of them knew about my new 'auror' job and how much if paid) that I would be giving them gifts this year and if they so chose, they could give me presents as well. Lily, of course, had been so excited the shrieked and immediately congregated with our other roommates to plan whatever present they were going to get me.

Remus made a joke about how I was going to have to re-pay him for all the gifts I'd received from him before. James had simply gotten a mischievous glint in his eye for which I was slightly concerned. Nonetheless, I was excited for Christmas. I was not, however, excited to go home.

When we got off the train, I blinked and tried to still my heart. Destry hooted dolefully from beneath his cage-cover and I shushed him. I bid goodbye to my friends trying to avoid blushing at the kiss James placed on my knuckles and made my way outside.

I hailed a cab.

I had never hailed a cab before, having never had the money to pay the fare. I was excited. Cabs, it turns out, are not state-of-the-art transportation no matter how much they cost. I was still grateful because I really did not want to have to walk the three miles home in the snow. The cab smelled like old cigarette smoke and the driver huffed when I insisted I carry the owl cage with me, but he drove me to my house and I paid the overpriced fare without so much as a word to him.

He drove off in a cloud of exhaust and I turned to my house. I blinked, trying to muster the courage to take a step forward but not being able to find the resolve. I stood there for a good two minutes before finally, slowly, making my way up the shovelled sidewalk. I vaguely wondered who had shovelled it, but my mind was focused on one thing right now.

I knocked.

It was a couple moments before I heard movement from beyond the door. It swung open and revealed a beaming Marta. She took me by surprise and gave me a tight hug. I was genuinely confused, but after a moment, I hugged back. She pulled away and grabbed my shoulders, looking at me.

"Oh, you've grown more, I think," She nodded. I laughed, still put-off from the hug, but stepped inside, pulling my trunk after me. Marta was packed too. I saw her two leather suitcases resting side-by-side in the entryway.

"It's good to see you, Marta," I smiled, dropping the one side of my trunk.

"And you, Iris." We chatted for a bit before Marta felt she ought to go. She picked up her two suitcases and walked out, apparating in the middle of the sidewalk. I closed the door and turned to face the rest of the house. I didn't see Mum, but Marta had told me a few letters ago that she had taken a bit ill. Nothing serious, just the flu. I assumed she was in her bedroom, resting.

I started working on dinner.

In the week following up to Christmas, Regulus Black had sent me a grand total of twenty-seven letters, all bemoaning the fact that he had not been able to pluck up the courage to ask Lily Evans to the Winter ball. I reminded him that because the ball had been postponed for _after_ winter break, he still had time.

He complained that it was ungentlemanly to ask a young woman out via owl. I kindly told him to stick his wand somewhere he never has and told him to 'just do it already'. He was in the process of writing several versions and sending them to me for review. I rolled my eyes and did it, obviously wanting to help him out even though he was annoying.

His parents didn't know, which was something he wanted to keep true until he moved out. I was a bit worried for him, but knowing he could handle himself, was mostly excited. Lily had blushingly told me the last day before school got out that she might have a teensy little itty-bitty crush on Regulus, to which I replied by screeching.

They _had_ to go together. If they didn't go to the ball together, I'd scream. So, I was helping regulus write his letter. His plan was to send it on Christmas along with chocolates and a bouquet of roses in a package. I told him she'd love it. I also hinted to him that she'd always dreamed of owning the first edition, collector's copy of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Or the first edition, collector's copy of Anne of Green Gables.

Both were very expensive, but whilst Little Women was about 275 pounds, Anne of Green Gables was about 20,700 pounds.

He was trying to purchase _both_. Thankfully, I convinced him that maybe buying her a 20,700-pound book was a bad idea for a first gift. He decided that Little Women was a safer, less over-the-top plan. Lily knew that Regulus was rich, and I hoped she would just think he had no idea the right amount of money to spend on Christmas gifts. Because, well... he didn't.

He had no bloody _clue_ how much things cost in the real world and it had taken nearly all my convincing to make sure he didn't buy that copy of Anne of Green Gables. I'd stupidly mentioned it, off-handedly, not realizing just how much it cost. I was just glad he wasn't buying her a whole house.

I'd managed to avoid speaking with my mother for almost the entire break. She'd gotten better about the fourth day in and the only time I'd really interacted with her was at dinners. She had gotten more talkative since the last time I'd seen her, but she hadn't hit me yet, I was happy. Sure, she criticized everything I did wrong and forced the conversation of how and why it was my fault dad had died, but at least I was in agreement with her so it didn't bother me as much.

I was fine.

I was very glad I had three jobs now, very, very glad. I was busy all the time! I was never home! it was great. Sure it was mostly paperwork and getting beat up in Moody's office and dealing with angry Karens, but I could deal with all of that.

What I could not deal with, was James Potter waltzing through the swinging doors of the Three Broomsticks at three o'clock in the afternoon, hand in his pocket, swagger in his step, and gel in his hair, looking me straight in the eye, and smiling.

I died.

He walked up to me and grinned, sitting down at the bar, and rested his chin in his hands. I gaped like a fish.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, trying to be furious, attempting to hide the heat tickling up my neck to my face. I was not having it.

"I wanted to ask you out on a date," James smiled, sweetly. I groaned.

"I'm going to be seeing you in two days, isn't that enough?" I asked, cocking my eyebrow and finally getting my heart rate calmed down.

"No. It's not," James said, the sickly sweet grin still on his face. I shook my head, muttering angry nonsense, sputtering and glaring at him mutinously. I scrambled around for something to do, settling for slamming a keg in front of him and filling it to the brim with frothing butterbeer. He smiled the whole time.

"James Potter! Ask I live and breath, how are you doing?" Madame Rosemerta came up, arms open wide. James laughed and returned the hug.

"Nothing much, just trying to convince Iris to go on a date with me. Nothing far from the usual," James grinned, turning and giving me a theatrically obvious wink. I groaned. Rosmerta gasped.

"Oh, how wonderful! Iris, your shift is nearly over, feel free to leave a bit early," Madame Rosemerta winked, shooing me to the back.

"Rosemerta, really, I just want to finish out my shift—" I protested.

"Nonsense! Have fun," she encouraged, whipping me out of my apron and checking the sign-out box for me. Still trying to protest, I struggled. Rosemerta was having none of it. She deposited me on the other side of the bar, leaving me to stand sheepishly in front of a very surprised, but very pleased James Potter. I hugged my hands to my chest, rubbing my arms, and looking everywhere but at James. He cleared his throat.

"Well. That worked better then I had planned," he smirked. "Where do you want to go first?" I spotted Rosemerta peeking out from behind the back, gesturing for me to go. I just sighed, grabbed my coat, and put it on. James followed me, insisting on holding the door open for me.

"So chivalrous," I teased, finally gathering up the courage to speak.

"Well, it is a very Gryffindor trait," James said, grabbing my hand and swinging our arms. I felt my heart rate slowly making its way down, down from the excitement of before. I was mostly just annoyed now.

"James, you can't just take me away from work whenever you want to," I reprimanded him as we gazed in the shop windows.

"But I just did," he grinned. I sighed, exasperated.

"Yes, which is bad. Talk to me _after_ I get out from work." He ignored me, which I assumed he would, and pulled me along until we stopped in front of a large window, displaying all manner of items. I gazed around, looking at some of the things displayed. There was a fair amount of jewellery. Necklaces and bracelets. Watches and rings, the like. I became aware of James' eye watching me. I cocked an eyebrow.

"What are you doing?" I asked, smirking.

"Oh, nothing, nothing..." he said, casually. "See anything you're interested in?"

"Eh... not really," I shrugged. "Jewellery isn't really my thing." James nodded and pulled me along to another store window. We inspected its contents. This was a book store. I pointed to a specific one displayed. It was an old copy of Alice in Wonderland. It had a beautiful cover.

"That was one of my favourite books as a kid," I said, pointing at it. "I already own it though. I haven't read it in a while..." I trailed off, looking at the other titles. "What _are_ you doing?" I asked, flicking my view to James.

"Nothing," James, said, hurriedly, unconvincingly. His hands were behind his back. I narrowed my eyes.

"Sure," I said, sarcastically. We moved on to another window. Here there were dresses and several photos of models modelling dresses. I looked for a bit, inspecting a rather cute pair of flowered jeans. I saw James out of the corner of my eyes and again and turned toward him. He couldn't hide it fast enough.

"What's that notepad for?" I asked, trying to lean behind him to see what he had written. He wriggled out of my grasp.

"Nothing," James lied, obviously. I narrowed my eyes, inspecting him. All at once, it hit me.

"Oh my gosh, no, you aren't," I laughed. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What?" James asked, looking a bit nervous.

"Oh, you're so funny! Are you trying to find me a Christmas gift?" I grinned. It was James' turn to blush.

"...No..."

"Ha! Yes, you are! You are!" I smiled, poking him in the chest. "You could've just asked me."

"But that wouldn't be as cool," James whined.

"But this is easier, _and_ you can actually surprise me." I grabbed the notepad from his grasp and flipped to a new piece of paper and wrote down several items. I handed it to James, who read the list out loud.

"Any vinyls from these bands... Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, Queen, AC/DC or The Who... clothes, well that's not very specific... a rapier... Iris, these aren't very cool!" James complained, flipping back the notepad.

"The rapier's pretty cool," I interjected.

"Sure, but then you'll know exactly what you're getting! I want to surprise you," James insisted.

"Then surprise me. You don't need these windows to do that," I smiled. "Let's just hang out. Something will occur to you, trust me." James sighed, running his fingers through his hair, making it even more windswept then it previously had been.

"Okay... okay."

We walked around, chatting, inspecting shops we'd never had the pleasure to visit before, and teasing each other. We decided to stop by a small pastry shop we'd never been in before. We stepped in, into the warm, sweet-smelling shop.

We each picked out a doughnut and a mug of hot cocoa and sat down. James took and sip and hissed.

"It's hot," I said, raising an eyebrow.

"I realized that," James rasped, eyes watering. I laughed and took a bite of my doughnut. I moaned.

"Oh, this is good. We should come here more often," I nodded, raising my eyebrows.

"Let's make a habit of it," James winked, and I just grinned, too happy to rebuke.

"Well? Any ideas occurred to you yet?" I asked him, an eyebrow raised. He paused.

"I might've," he trailed. "What's your favourite colour?" I hmmed.

"I'd have to say the sunset colour between red and orange," I nodded, frankly, taking a careful sip of my hot cocoa. Even being careful I burned my tongue. My eyes watered a bit. James pursed his lips.

"Could you perhaps narrow that down to a specific colour? Preferably in the Roy G. Biv selection?" James inquired. I raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, red then," I nodded. I took another bite of my doughnut. "Why?"

"You'll see," James said, mysteriously, grinning, wiggling his eyebrows. I snorted.

"It better be good," I warned. James smiled and took a bite of his own doughnut. His eyes widened.

"Merlin, this really _is_ good," he looked at it as though it might give him answers to the known universe. I laughed.

"Told you," we continue eating. Our hot cocoa had cooled down a bit and so we interchanged between eating our doughnuts and drinking our cocoa.

"D'you have a gift planned for me?" James asked, eyebrow cocked. I laughed.

"Of course I do," I grinned. he sat up straighter.

"Oh?"

"Yes, I do. But I'm not going to tell you, you dork," I laughed. James pouted, folding his arms across his chest in defiance.

"I am not a dork," he said, sticking his nose up into the air.

"You most certainly are," I laughed.

"Even if I am, that means you're on a date with a dork," James teased. I sighed.

"Unfortunately, it does," I said, mock disappointed. James pushed my shoulder, grinning. I laughed. "I'm sorry, I forgot. I'm a dork too, so it's okay."

"Too right you are," James teased. We broke out into uncontrollable laughter. The kind that you just can't stop. Tears were rolling down my cheeks by the time I gasped for breath.

"Merlin, I love you," I giggled. James' laughter lurched to a halt.

"Come again?" he said, face still red. I blinked.

"Uhh... nothing," I said, eyes widening a bit.

"Noooo, no it wasn't," James said, leaning forward. I leaned back, startled. "You said 'I love you'."

"Whaaaat? Psh, no..." I said, trying and failing to cover up my own embarrassment. He grinned, his eyes, mischievous.

"Don't worry, it's okay," he said, leaning back. I managed to collect myself enough to look him in the eye. He looked far too satisfied. "I love you too."

I choked. I pointed a finger at him, attempting to say something retorting and properly thought-out, but failing. He just sat there with a self-satisfied smirk and a look in his eye that I didn't _want_ to like, but just made me blush further.

"Stop," I said, managing the single word in my brain.

"Stop what?" James said, feigning innocence.

"Being you," I said, waving my hand at him like a madman.

"What about me do you want stopped?" James asked. I seethed.

"Stop making me... _feel things_ ," I hissed, with contempt. He put his hands behind his head, leaning back in his chair.

"Hate to break it to you girlie, but I can't _force_ you to feel _anything_ ," he bit his lip, taking me in. "No matter how hard I've tried."

I swear I died right then and there. I don't even remember the rest of the shop. One second he said that, and the next we were walking back to the Three Broomsticks so I could floo home. We were holding hands. He held the door open for me again and stood with me whilst I grabbed a fist of powder. I threw it in and turned back to him.

"Um..." I started, unsure of how to say what I wanted. James just smiled, hands in his pockets. Merlin, he looked too suave to be legal. I should talk to Harold about that. It should be illegal to be too handsome, I decided.

"I had a fun time," James said, taking my hand. I blinked.

"Y... yeah," I agreed. "Yup."

"I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve," James grinned.

"So am I," I said, truthfully, finally gaining control of my tongue.

"I'll see you around," he said, and with that, he lifted my knuckles to his lips. I about fainted, no gonna lie. He gently let go and smiled at me. I decided breathing was too hard. With that, I turned and stepped into the fire. James watched me, a small smile playing on his lips.

With a few words, I was away. I landed in my living room. I rushed to my bedroom and jumped onto my bed, falling on my back, a stupid, stupid grin stretching across my face. I hugged my pillow.

I'm a madman. Or madly in love, it's hard to tell.


	85. Stolen Memories

"You'll depart tonight at midnight. Any questions?" Dumbledore's glasses flashed white from the chandelier. There were around six of us. Moody, Alice, Frank, Benjy, and Emmeline. Plus me. Tonight was the mission I had been waiting for. The owners of the house would not be home and we were just looking for something. Dumbledore had made sure there would be no possible way that I'd be put into a fighting situation.

Which, I was slightly miffed about.

The mission was to recover something stolen. It was a very dangerous item and we needed to recover it. It was a simple necklace, but it had the ability to allow the owner to control the person wearing it. We'd be flying there on broomsticks. When the clock struck midnight, we said our goodbyes to Arabella Figg and marched outside. We were apparating to a pre-determined alley in London. We apparated in pairs. I went with Moody.

We landed in the alley and grabbed our broomsticks. It was pitch black, which was good. We had found a small neighbourhood where all the lampposts seemed to be broken. We took off and gained height so as to avoid any chance of being seen by Muggles. It was rather chilly and I was glad I had thought to wear a sweatshirt. We flew for about fifteen minutes before Moody, who was in the front, started a slow descent. We all soared after him in formation.

As we got closer and closer where we could actually see the streets I was struck with a sudden sense of déjà vu. It seemed very familiar and yet— I couldn't put my finger on it. We touched down onto the cobbled, circular street and I still felt very odd. Like I had been here before.

Covered by the darkness, we inched up the path and banded around the door. Moody was the one who opened it. It creaked open and we didn't waste time stepping through one by one, quickly but silently. Moody closed it behind us. It was dark, but no one lit a candle. We all carefully crept through the hall and entered a larger room. It was shadowy and dark, details indiscernible, and yet... The sense of familiarity still flickered in my stomach.

I was still trying to figure out how I could possibly recognize this house when Moody lit his wand. My stomach dropped. I was in the Black family household. My breath quickened.

"...let's separate and look for the necklace," Moody was saying. My breath hitched in my throat. "Iris, what's wrong?" I raised my eyes to his.

"They have a house-elf," I whispered. Immediately everyone straightened to attention, gazing around in search. We couldn't have a house-elf spot us and apparate to his masters. We immediately split up in search. My mind was trying to grasp the fact that I was raiding one of my best friend's houses. Two of my best friend's, actually. A trickle of guilt dripped into the pool in my stomach.

I tip-toed into the kitchen. I stepped around the cabinet when I found him. Well, heard actually. He was muttering to himself. Before he could see me, I shot him with a stunning spell. He collapsed, unconscious. I picked him up and brought him back to the living room. I sent out a patronus to everyone to let them know I got him.

We decided to lay him down on the couch and leave him there. We'd wake him up in the kitchen before we left. Then, the search began. We went in pairs. Alice and I went together and we were quiet as we made our way around the top floor. I found it very hard to concentrate however, especially when I noticed the two plaques hanging on the doorway opposite each other.

'Sirius' said one. 'Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black' boasted the other. And suddenly the pool of guilt in my stomach deepened. It thickened. Alice noticed my lingering pace and paused.

"Something wrong?" she asked, concerned. I laughed, but not in the happy way.

"Yeah," I admitted. She tilted her head. "This is two of my friends' house."

"Oh," she said. I nodded, pursing my lips, taking one last look at the plaques and pushing open Sirius'. I looked around. It was just the same as before. Obnoxious red banners everywhere, lions and Gryffindor memorabilia affixed to the walls, half-naked muggle girls from magazines (although he had told me he had only done this to piss off his parents), and the single picture of all five of us. I smiled sadly at that. We began to rifle through things, searching for the necklace.

"Sorry," she said, after a while. I grimaced.

"Don't be," I said. "Their parents are huge supporters of You-Know-Who, I knew we'd end up here at one point."

"He seems like a reasonable guy," Alice said. "I remember him from school. He was always causing trouble, but he seemed nice." I grinned.

"Yeah, he's a real prankster. Never supported his parents' views, though, which is good. He had to run away, his parents were abusing him and stuff," I said, trying to breathe steadily. Alice grimaced.

"That's awful," she murmured.

"Yeah, well. He's doing a lot better now. Never seen him this happy," I smiled.

We searched the room, but we both knew we wouldn't find it here. I was just glad to see that his mum hadn't been able to burn everything as she had threatened. Sirius' magic was just too good. We stepped out, closing the door behind us and moved onto Regulus'.

I had never been in Regulus' room before. I tested the doorknob. It was locked, as I had suspected by looking at the plaque. Tapping my wand to the knob and performing a non-verbal alohamora, I heard a click. I grasped the knob once more and pushed it open.

This room gave off the exact opposite vibe Sirius' had. I was in shock, standing there. Silver and green hangings dripped from the walls. A painstakingly detailed painting of the Black Family crest was displayed above his bed, with the motto 'Toujours Pur' below that. There was a corkboard covered with newspaper clippings, all talking about You-Know-Who and his exploits. I covered my mouth with my hand.

I knew Regulus wasn't averse to He-Who-Must-Must-Not-Be-Named's ideas, but I didn't know he was an _avid supporter_. I felt nauseous, the guilty pool in my stomach curdled. My legs grew weak and I couldn't move. The only thing I could look at was a picture in the corner of the corkboard, a quidditch picture. He was smiling and grinning at me, laughing with his teammates. I felt betrayed but also as though I should've seen this coming.

I felt Alice's hand on my shoulder.

"Is... is this your other friend?" She asked, softly. I took a moment to answer.

"Yes," I said, my voice unsteady. She hugged me. I wasn't crying. Really, I wasn't, I was just... frustrated. Conflicted. I broke away, forcibly steadying my voice.

"We still need to search it," I said, tearing my gaze away from his face in the photo. We did, for a good amount of time, but before we got too far into it, We heard a noise on the stairs. We stepped out in the defensive position, but it was just Emmaline Vance. They'd found the necklace.

When we got downstairs, Moody had already wrapped it and tucked it into one of his many pockets. Four of us stepped out of the house whilst Moody and Benjy rennervated Kreature in the kitchen. They quickly rushed out and we took off, into the night air.

The next morning, I was exhausted. I was working at the ministry that day, and Harold saw my obviously tired state.

"What's up with you?" he asked, after I had fallen asleep for the second time in a chair. I blinked, pinching myself awake.

"I stayed up late last night," I yawned, stretching. He laughed.

"Doing what?" he asked.

"Stuff," I said, vaguely, but he caught my drift. It was the common rule that Harold 'didn't know anything about the order', or even knew that it existed. He simply knew that I worked in a very specific branch of the auror office.

"Well, you keep falling asleep like that and I'll have to invite that Potter boy over here to bother you," he winked. I groaned.

"Anything but that," I pretended to beg, but I smiled. He laughed.

"Anyway," he said, checking his watch. "It's almost lunchtime, want to head out?" I nodded and slipped all the papers and stuff I had been working on back into the folder and stood. We entered the lift and descended to the Atrium.

We quickly made our way to one of the fireplaces. The lines were shorter this time of day and we quickly got to the fireplace. Harold stepped in first, whisking away. Once be was gone, I stepped in after him, enveloping myself in the flames.

"The Edge of Everywhere!" I said, as clearly as I could, and I was off. Soot and bits flicked my face as I twisted and swirled through the chimney, but before long, I stopped and stuck out my foot. It landed firmly against the quality carpet of the restaurant. Harold was waiting for me. I dusted myself off as we waited for a waiter to show us to our seats.

"How do you do today, minister? Iris?" Maurice asked, brightly.

"Very well, is our special table open today?" Harold asked, removing his scarlet robes and draping them over his arm. I did the same. I really like my outfit today as it was the first purchase I had made in a while, exempting my Winter ball dress. It was a very nice three-piece pantsuit. It was jack-on-jack patterned, black with white lines. I wore a thin, teal tie with it. My first pleasurable splurge.

Maurice led us to our preferred table, right next to the aquarium and took out his notepad.

"Are you both having the usual?" He asked. Harold nodded, but I raised a finger.

"Actually, no. I'd like to try the chicken alfredo," I said, smiling. Maurice nodded and jotted that down.

"Strawberry fizz for the both of you?" To this, we both nodded and he whisked away, relaying our order to the chefs.

"So," Harold started, raising a quizzical eyebrow, "I heard there was some drama at the school before break."

"Oh, you're just hearing about this now?" I grinned. Harold waved his hand, dismissively.

"Things take a while to get to me. Anyway, I heard it was a battle?" he seemed genuinely curious.

"Well, ah... do you know about Remus Lupin?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"Yes, Dumbledore had to come directly to the ministry for permission to allow him into the school. It took a lot of convincing, but I think it's one of the most admirable things he's ever done. Anyway, yes I do know,"

"Well, somehow a not-nice student found out and wanted to prove it. Expose him if you will, so James, Sirius, Peter, fought and protected him. That's it, it's not really exciting," I said, shrugging. Just then, Maurice came by and delivered our food. Our conversation paused.

"I don't believe that not many students have fought a werewolf single-handedly," Harold said, impressed.

"Well, it wasn't single-handed. I had James," I grinned.

"Ah, yes. You had James," Harold's eyes twinkled. "you know, we've been keeping in touch a bit. Ever since he pulled me aside after that quidditch match,"

"Oh?" I tried to ask it off-handedly, but my mind was racing, numbering the reasons Harold would care to keep in touch with a person so arrogant and annoying. Not to mention a huge, obnoxious fan.

"Yes, he's been talking about that winter ball quite a lot. Are you going with anyone?" he asked, taking another bite of his Paella. I shook my head, chewing. I swallowed.

"No. Although, James and I are in a bit of a contest. We want to see who can dance with the most people," I grinned. Harold laughed.

"Sounds fun,"

"I think it will be," I smiled. We chatted a bit more about school and projects and friends and crazy people at work and—

"Whatever happened to all those interviews that you had? The ones Osumay used to publish?" Harold asked. I shrugged.

"Osumare, and what do you mean? I've been doing interviews with her at least once a month. I did an interview with her about two weeks ago. She said it'd be enough for two articles," I laughed. Harold's brow furrowed.

"That doesn't make any sense. She hasn't published an article for months now. Are you sure?" he asked. Now I was the one confused.

"What do you mean?" I set my fork on the edge of my plate.

"I mean she hasn't published any articles or interviews with you since the last one, where you had to owl her to change it or whatever. You say you've still been interviewing?" Harold looked slightly concerned.

"Well... yeah," I nodded, racking my brains. "At least, I think so. She's always managed to catch me at those times where I'm really tired and I can't concentrate, you know? And anyway, I don't read the interviews about me anymore. There are far too many of them."

Harold looked grave.

"Iris, can you remember any of those interviews?" he asked, concern laced in his tone. Doubt wormed its way into my brain. I tried to remember the interviews, the stolen moments with Osumare where she had pulled me from the chaos and asked me questions.

"Yes," I said, my voice catching.

"Do you remember any of the questions she asked?" he looked alarmed now, though he was trying to hide it. My brain was panicking now, going into shock from memories I couldn't remember, ones stolen from me. All I could see was her face, that kind smile, her hands on my cheek... and a burning sensation in my throat that made everything grow fuzzy.

"No," I said, my voice hoarse. "I don't"


	86. Trust

I wasn't allowed to worry about it. I wasn't _allowed to worry._ About my own stolen memories, secrets I could've leaked. I. Wasn't. _Allowed_. To. _Worry_. I wanted to punch Dumbledore right in his bloody face. I told him outright.

"I wouldn't blame you," he said in that terribly, frustratingly calm voice of his. My fists were clenched, my eyes bulged, and yet I couldn't speak. I yelled nothing just to feel the strain in my lungs and pointed a finger at him. I stormed from the room and slammed the door.

That was last night. It was the morning after. I couldn't sleep, it was four in the morning. My job at the ministry had been temporarily halted whilst the Order tried to track down Osumare. Harold didn't want me coming into the office either, in case she somehow got past the security. I was stuck. In the _damn_ house, knowing all the things she could've stolen from me. All the information she could know. And I _trusted_ her. Merlin, how long had it taken me to learn what trust was? And the second I finally was able to trust without a second thought? Betrayal!

I looked around my room mutinously. Hoping to see something I had missed before, something I hadn't broken yet but there was none. My personal items lay scattered around my room, torn, shattered, and utterly destroyed. I'd repair them later. I wanted to box.

I _really_ wanted to box.

So, I sprinted the four miles, my anger and adrenaline allowing me in the cold. I opened the doors to Amelie's and made my way to the back of the hallway. No one was here, it was so early only a few classes were going on. I wanted to see Jeremey, I needed to see Jeremy, I needed a friendly face, someone I _could_ trust.

He wasn't in the room. I was too angry to go find him. I grabbed wraps and began punching one, two, until I was frenzied, punching the bag. I didn't know who was screaming. My face was wet and I couldn't see. I was leaving marks in the bag. It took me a moment before I realized it was blood. I was shaking too much, my punches grew weaker until I was barely moving the bag. I was crying, but I wasn't sad, I was frustrated.

A gentle hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into a chest. I deflated. My throat was dry, but so were my eyes.

Jeremy and I didn't really talk, we just sat. He had insisted on washing my knuckles and wrapping them in bandages he normally provided for newbies. I was tired and he could tell.

"You should get some sleep," he said, with a worn, wrinkled smile. I laughed, bitterly.

"I don't think I can," My shoulders ached. A dull silence fell between us.

"You caught me at a good time. I'm not here for much longer," Jeremy said, a bittersweet note hung.

"Oh. Right. You're retiring," I said, remembering slowly. He nodded.

"Next month," I contemplated this. I wasn't sad, I would just miss him. "You have anything you want to talk about?" He asked. He was concerned. I sighed.

"No. There's nothing to talk about. I'm just mad," I said, looking at my hands, wrapped so caringly by a friend. "I just—" I stopped. "I just trusted someone, y'know? And they've gone and... and stabbed me in the back. In the worst way possible." I was emphatic. Jeremy nodded.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive," he said. I wanted to laugh, but my chest panged with emptiness.

"I hope so too," I said, doubting it could ever really happen.

After my conversation with Jeremy, I went home. It was six by the time I got there and I collapsed onto my bed, sleeping for the next nine hours. I awoke with my hair plastered to the side of my face and a hungry growl in my stomach. I washed my face and set to work making comfort food. Cheesy potato and broccoli soup with bacon and as much buttered white bread as I wanted. I also made myself a chocolate mug cake.

I stayed in my room until five, wanting to avoid my mom completely and just thinking. I was much calmer now, focusing on how'd I'd fix the situation instead of how I could've prevented it. After five, I banished it from my mind altogether. I had a party to attend and I'd be damned if I didn't enjoy it. I'd carefully taken off the lovingly wrapped bandages and rubbing an ointment on the scabs. It healed in a matter of minutes.

I took a little swig of potion and the soreness in my arms and shoulders dulled. I went to my closet and found the outfit I'd been planning for far too long. Black leggings, and a tight, white shirt, and a red flannel wrapped around my waist. Green converse, and a scrunchied bun. I was also wearing my bell earrings.

Reminding myself that I was here to have fun and forget, I walked up to the fireplace and tossed a small handful of floo powder into the fireplace. I wished I could apparate, but no one was supposed to know. I stepped in.

"Potter manor!" I said, clearly. I was whisked away in a cloud of smoke. I screwed my eyes shut, keeping soot from getting in my eyes. I felt myself slow down and I kicked out a leg, stepping smoothly into the Potter's living room. They were already there.

"Iris, hey!" James said, grinning. Sirius waved from his leisurely spot next to Remus on the couch, and Peter squeaked a hello.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" I grinned, jumping onto the couch and grabbing a couple of cookies from the coffee table.

"Not much, we were just debating what we should do first," James said. "It's between playing Cards Against Humanity, Wizarding edition, or watching a movie." I scoffed.

"Cards Against Humanity, we gotta save the movie for last," Sirius whooped.

"Exactly what I was saying," he enthused. James grinned and pulled out the square box. Now, for sweet summer children who don't know the premise of Cards Against Humanity, it's basically like Apples to Apples, except inhumanly vulgar.

We played well into the night, snacking and talking. James' parents were on a short two-day vacation so it was just the five of us in this house. Remus had taken the far lead, destroying everyone with eleven black cards. I was in second, with six, but James and Sirius were catching up.

James was judging. He read it aloud with a grin and an inquiring eyebrow.

"I got into Azkaban for..." He set it down in the middle. I looked at my five white cards, trying to find the best match. I had 'going in dry', 'successfully seducing a dementor', 'sticking my wand somewhere else', 'pixies?', and 'the dragonpox pandemic of 1379'. I jumped when Sirius slammed down his card. I rolled my eyes and slipped 'successfully seducing a dementor' out of my hand and putting it down in the middle. Remus was last, silently contemplating his cards with a straight face. He shrugged, slipping a card from his hand and putting it by the others.

James shuffled the cards and set down the black card back in the middle.

"I got into Azkaban for... kicking Grindlewald out of Art school," he set that one down. "For teaching a muggle some "wand magic"... for successfully seducing a dementor... for—" He cracked up, unable to finish reading it. I looked over at Remus. Poker face. James was desperately trying to catch his breath. "For tearing that arse up like wrapping paper on Christmas morning."

We all burst out laughing, Sirius was honest-to-goodness tearing up. It took a minute for us all to catch our breath and when we did, James held up the last card. Remus grinned and we all groaned.

"C'mon Rem! Give us a chance here," Sirius fell over onto his back in defeat. Remus smiled, innocently.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I picked that card at random,"

"Alright, Rem wins with twelve, Iris with six, Sirius and I with five, and Peter with two," James said, picking up the cards and stacking them back into the box.

"Movie time!" I said, grabbing another fist-full of goldfish. We raced down to the basement, taking all the food and snacks with us. We had already decided on West Side Story. It had taken convincing, but when I told them it was about two gangs fighting in New York City they conceded. Even though it was another 'dumb musical' according to Sirius.

The movie started with the classic whistle bars as we all got comfy. I sat on the couch a large bowl of popcorn to my right and jumbo container of red vines in my lap. James was on my left, hogging the sharing sized bag of M&Ms, Peter was off to the side sitting against the arm of the couch, and Remus and Sirius were sitting together on the gigantic beanbag chair a gigantic plate of chocolate chip cookies betwixt them.

James scootched closer to me 'for the popcorn' he insisted, but after he yawned and wrapped his arm around my shoulders I had my doubts. When Tony, the lead male of the movie started singing 'Maria', one of the classic songs of the musical, James started humming along. I elbowed him and he looked at me. I leaned in to whisper to him.

"I thought you didn't like musicals," I teased. He looked insulted.

"Excuse you, it was Sirius who was fighting you on this. I happen to enjoy the occasional musical," James grinned. I chuckled, reverting my gaze to the television. What made this hard was James reaching up and my grabbing my left hand, doing the thing he always did. The patterned circles. I focused on the soft touch, glad for something happy in whatever was going on with my life right now.

The movie ended, and by the time it did, it was past midnight. Technically Christmas as Peter pointed out. I decided to stay just a little longer, chatting. Remus and Peter left, but I stayed laughing and joking with James and Sirius. A bit into the conversation and Sirius stood, muttering something about the bathroom. I smiled at James who was still laughing from something I had said a moment before.

"Well," I said, standing. "I'd best be going." James stood too.

"Alrighty then, see you in a couple of days," he smiled, following me to the fireplace.

"See you then," I threw a fistful of floo powder into the fireplace and I was off. I was happy, which was unusual for Christmas. The familiar sense of slowing down instructed me to stick out a foot and I stumbled into my house.

Immediately, I knew something was wrong. My senses heightened. My heart pounded as I realized I didn't have my wand with me, it was in my room. I knew something was wrong because all the lights were off. Mum never had all the lights off, she would get out of bed and deliberately switch one on before returning to her room. I couldn't breathe as my mind raced through all the scenarios that could've happened.

Before I could though, a light right beside me switched on and revealed my mother's face, grinning, her eyes sharp. I screamed and ducked down, taken off-guard. She didn't move, she just stood there. Before I'd even regained my breath, she spoke up.

"It's taken me so long," she said. I glanced at her and finally realized where the light source was coming from. She was holding a wand. It wasn't my dad's wand, it was— "My wand. It's been too long." Her eyes never left mine. My brain was scrambling for ways I could get the wand away from her but I was panicking. "I've hated not having it around. Why did you hide it, Iris?"

My blood ran cold when she used my name. She was looking at me like she knew what she was saying.

"Mum, your wand isn't safe. It's unstable—"

"Oh, like me?" she tilted her head. I swallowed. "Yes, you don't think I can use a wand, but I can. I have been all day while you were gone. Where were you? It's Christmas Eve." She took a step closer. I took a step back.

"I was at a friend's house," I said. I was desperately trying to keep my voice from shaking.

"But it's Christmas Eve. You should be with your family. What would David think?" My heart sunk. Here it comes. "David would be so disappointed in you, running off to friends houses instead of loving your family." I grimaced, trying not to hear her. "It's not like you love us anyway. You're the reason he's dead."

"No, I'm n—"

"Yes, you are," she said, silkily. I blinked away tears. She was twiddling with her wand. "Do you want to see something I just learned?"

"Mum, you need to set the wand down, maybe drink some tea—"

"NO!" she yelled, shrieking, rattling the walls. I took another step back, further away from the fireplace. "You're the reason. You're the reason I don't have him with me anymore!" she was shrieking, he sharp notes bleeding my ears. "I will teach you a lesson!" I was scrambling, trying to logic my way out of this. I turned, trying to get to my room. "CRUCIO!"

I dropped to the floor, writhing and screaming, shaking uncontrollably. The spell lessened. I tasted blood. The spell was gone but I was still shaking, shivering. Tears were rolling down my face and I was whimpering, unable to speak. My breaths came like rips from my throat. My eyes were wide.

My mum came closer, eyeing my position on the floor. Her eyes... her eyes were the worst part. She pointed again. "Crucio." My screams didn't sound like they belonged to me anymore. I heard them all around me, piercing my eardrums. I felt like a thousand tiny, red-hot screws were being forced under my skin. Every single muscle in my body clenched, the pain, to bad to even comprehend. It lessened again and my sobs hit my throbbing chest like a cannonball. I had no breath, no air to breathe.

"Crucio," I hated that her voice was calm. My throat was empty, my chest too. The only screaming was in my mind. I couldn't stop shaking, the writhing, tensing was uncontrollable. Bile rose from the pit of my stomach and emptied out onto the carpet. The blood mixed in. Amidst the pain, I passed out.

I wanted to die. I couldn't live with this pain, there was too much of it. I wanted to feel nothing ever again. I came to when the pain subsided again. How many times had she said that word? Five? Seven? Twenty? My vision was blurred at the edges and my body refused to relax, still shaking, my muscles tensed. My mind re-imagined the fiery nails and I felt it.

I looked and saw my mum, her eyes clouded over again. The wand dropped against the carpet and I shakily reached out for it and tucked it underneath me. I blacked out again. I came to, my body aching and my throat dead. I could barely move. Sobs restricted my movement. My face was a mess of tears, snot, blood, and bile. I couldn't even sit up. I crawled. I crawled my way to the fireplace and it took me a full minute to grab a handful of floor powder. I dragged myself up, ignoring the flaming pain in my joints, in my tendons, everywhere.

I gripped the brick and tossed the powder into the fireplace.

"Potter manor," I choked. I went limp as I was whisked away. The bangs and bruises I got from the walls were nothing compared. I fell and hit a carpeted floor. I was crying again, my throat finally allowing me. I couldn't open my eyes, the lights were too bright. A faded voice washed over me.

"Iris? Iris! What happened? Talk to me, are you conscious? Sirius! Come here!" I knew that voice. I felt a soft touch against my forehead. I hungered for more. I managed to sit up and follow the hand. I wasn't thinking, my brain couldn't function. I gripped the hand and wrapped my arms around the shoulders of someone familiar. I ended up in his lap.

This soft touch, I needed it. This friendly, safe, touch. I felt my nerves stutter. I vaguely heard the crash and stumbling of someone rushing down some stairs.

"What—? What happened?" There was another voice I recognized.

"I don't know," said the voice above me.

"Iris? Iris, can you hear me?" the second voice asked.

"...ye—es," I managed. My throat split. I started crying again. The shaking hadn't gone away.

"Hey, hey, it's okay... we're here," the second voice started muttering to the one above me. "Iris... who did this to you?" I tried to shake my head. My bottom lip was quivering, I could feel it, but I pressed my face against the chest of whoever was cradling me.

"It—was... Freya... mum— my mum," I croaked. My throat was so dry. The second one... Sirius I realized, fell silent. The one holding me was whispering frantically.

"I don't know James," Sirius hissed. Oh. James was holding me. I was crying into his chest. "You don't understand—"

"What don't I bloody understand, Sirius? What did she mean, who's Freya?" They were trying to be quiet.

"Iris? Iris, honey, what did she do?" My mind swam, I had been so close to sleep again. I didn't want to be conscious anymore. "Iris?"

"She— found her wand... she' dangerous... she— crucio. Crucio," I started shaking again. I was swimming in and out of consciousness again.

"Who should we..." I didn't care what they were saying anymore. "Remus, yeah." I passed out again.

"Iris? Hey..." A third voice joined in, shaking me awake. I blinked. I could see again, that was good.

"Hi, Rem," I croaked. I was still in someone's lap. I looked up and saw James, through bleary eyes, looking down at me.

"What do you need right now?" Remus said, quietly, just to me. I filled my lungs with air. It was nice to be able to breathe again.

"...water," I mumbled, blinking and feeling my eyelids droop.

"Hey, no more passing out, we can't have any more of that," Remus said, resting a hand on my arm. I was sat up and leaned against James. Sirius handed me a cup of water. I drank. I downed it all in one trip. I held it out for more. Remus pointed his wand and it re-filled. I sipped this time, but my arms were growing tired just from that. James saw my grip slipping and caught the cup.

"Can you...?" I murmured, letting my limbs drop.

"Uh—yeah," he said, carefully tipping the glass for me. The cool liquid rolled down my throat. A few more tears trickled down my face. I wasn't shaking any more, but I occasionally twitched, a little shock of what I had felt before.

Sirius sat down in front of me.

"Iris, did I understand correctly? Your mum...?" he was so concerned, so caring. I nodded but realized that hurt too.

"Yeah," I said, breathing. The room became quiet. I decided to elaborate. "I dunno how, but she found her old wand even though I've been hiding it from her for, what? Eight years now? Anyway. She was in a mood and pissed that I'd been avoiding her all day." I coughed, James caught me as I tilted one way. "Thanks," I muttered, blinking tiredly.

Sirius rushed at me, wrapping his arms around me. I was surprised to realize he was crying. He was heaving with his sobs. I smiled, appreciative of his empathy.

"It's okay, Sirius, neither of us knew this would happen," I said. He pulled away, his eye red.

"But I should've done something—"

"What? What could you have done? Honestly, I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner," I was being completely honest. I could feel Remus' and James' confusion from here, but I didn't want to explain. "Sirius, I don't want to explain anything. I just want to sleep."

Sirius nodded and looked at James. James, for his part, was handling things rather well. He had absolutely no idea what was going on, he was concerned, probably scared, and his parents weren't home. He helped lift me onto the couch, where I curled up into a ball and slept. Someone draped a blanket over me.

I don't remember who.


	87. Something Worth Protecting

I was awake, sitting up, loosely wrapped in a blanket. I was aching all over and when I moved my bones creaked. The couch I had been sleeping on hadn't really helped. I was looking at my hands.

"Oh! You're awake," James said, stepping in. I looked up. He looked almost as tired as I felt. He handed me a cup of tea. I drank. Slowly. He seemed rather uncomfortable, just standing there.

"Will you sit?" I asked, quietly. James looked startled to hear me speak, but he sat next to me. I was looking at my hands again. They weren't shaking. I sipped my tea. James was still being awkward, but I couldn't blame him. "So," I started, my voice sighing. "Are you gonna ask, or should I just tell you?" James scratched the back of his head sheepishly and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Sirius and Remus walking in.

They were both surprised to see me awake.

"Hi, guys," I croaked with a passive smile. Sirius looked as though he hadn't slept. His eyes were red, like he had been crying. Remus' was looking unusually pale and grave. They sat down in front of me, on the floor. "Is it story-time then?" I asked, trying to smile.

I looked into my mug and saw that I'd finished the tea. I slowly reached out and set it on the end table. I wrapped the blankets around me tighter.

"Where to start? Sirius, you already know this, where's a good place to start?" I looked at him intently. He, of course, looked startled.

"Er... your dad might be a good place," he said. I nodded, seriously.

"Good idea..."

It took a long time to explain. By the time I was done it had been an hour. I was tired, re-counting the memory and I found myself disassociating from the memory. When I was done, my brow furrowed.

"Where is the wand? I took it with me," I said, looking around. James sat up.

"Oh, it's over here," he got up and took it off the mantle. he handed it to me. I examined it for a moment, running my fingers over its beautiful design, then clasped it in both and hands and promptly snapped it. The snap seemed to re-invigorate me. I tossed the pieces to the coffee table and attempted to stand, the blanket sliding off. My body, however, was not prepared for this and the second I managed to stand, my legs fell beneath me.

James grabbed my arms and helped me back up.

"Thanks," I said, breathless. He helped me to the kitchen and Sirius and Remus sat beside me. James, meanwhile was cooking up some re-invigorating soup. I was very hungry, but I also wasn't sure if my body could handle it. I ate slowly. I finished and felt the three pairs of eyes carefully watching me.

I felt much better, good enough to stand. I was still in partial shock, never had I thought my mum capable of such a dark curse, but my body still felt it. I could feel their anxious worry as I crossed from the kitchen, through the hall, and back to the living room.

I stood in front of the fireplace.

"Hold it, you're not going back," James said, firmly. He put a hand on my shoulder. "You can't."

"It's not about what I can and can't do, I _need_ to," I grabbed a fistful of floo powder, but James grabbed my wrist and forced me to look him in the eye.

"Not without me," he said, bravely. I smiled, softly.

"No. This is my battle," I gently removed my wrist from his grip. "Besides, she can't know about you. Any of you," I said, looking at all three of them. They looked defeated and just as I was about to throw the powder in, James grabbed my wrist again.

"What if I use my cloak?" he suggested. I shook my head.

"James, I'm telling you, that's a bad idea,"

"I have to know if you're okay," he said, desperately. "I don't want you going back there unprotected."

"James, I'm not worth protecting," my voice wanted to shake, but I wouldn't let it.

"Yes. You are," James said, tilting my face to his. I turned away. Silence.

"If you aren't back here in five minutes, I'm going in after you," James said, firmly. I chuckled under my breath.

"I can't stop you," and with that, I threw the powder into the flames and I was off. I hardly noticed the sharp smell of smoke and before I felt prepared, I was stepping into my living room. The lights were still off, but the light from outside was enough to see. My mum was nowhere to be seen.

I walked around. I saw breakfast dishes next to the sink. I crept to her bedroom. I pushed it open. There she was, perfectly calm, quietly asleep. I wanted to cross that floor and punch her in the face. I wanted to throw curse after curse at her until _she_ was crying.

Instead, I closed the door behind me and crossed to my own bedroom. I grabbed several parcels from underneath my bed and Destry climbed into my hair. I walked back into the living room and flooed away. I stumbled back into the Potter's house to see James pacing, anxiously.

He ran up to me and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his sweater. I was tired.

Christmas at the Potter manor was a better Christmas than I had ever experienced. Food galore, a warm fire, far too many mug of hot chocolate, and friends. Remus had gone home to celebrate Christmas with his family, but James, Sirius, and I celebrated like kings.

I had sent off my presents to Lily, Mary, Marlene, and Regulus. (Regulus wrote back, excitedly because Lily had accepted his winter ball invitation. The letter was barely legible, written in a rush) Remus had opened his before departing, a box set of the Chronicles of Narnia and a huge box of chocolate.

So far, I had received a gorgeous, purple, flowered sweater from Lily, the biggest bag of chocolate and sweets I had ever seen from Mary, a wad of cash from Marlene and a note promising to take me shopping, and a bunch of ancient books from the Black family library from Regulus. I'd never heard of any of them before, but Regulus told me they were good. Remus had of course, given me another book and more chocolate, this one titled Jane Eyre.

Sirius handed me a box, wrapped in red and gold wrapping paper. I gave it an experimental shake. I tore it open and opened the box. It was a joke book. I raised an eyebrow.

"Open it," Sirius said, with a grin.

I did and saw a place to print my name. Sirius handed me a quill. Normally, I didn't write my name in books, but Sirius seemed particular. I wrote my signature, and the second I did, the page morphed, absorbing the words. I flipped through the rest of the book. It was blank.

"I'm confused," I said, to Sirius. He grinned wider.

"Because you signed your name, no one can see what you write in it. Anyone else sees jokes, like it's a normal joke book, but only you can see the real contents," Sirius smirked, quite self-satisfied. My mouth gaped.

"Wicked!"

"Good luck topping that," Sirius quirked and eyebrow at James, who smiled. He handed me a large basket, wrapped so that I couldn't see its contents. I raised an eyebrow.

"This is new," I commented, untying the ribbon at the top. I folded down the wrapping paper and blinked at its contents. None of the things in it seemed particularly coherent except that everything was red.

There was a bag full of swedish fish, a book with a red cover, titled The Scarlet Letter, m&ms, but only of the reds, red licorice wands, and a few cans of red strawberry fizz. As I dug deeper I pulled out a red t-shirt with a triangle and a bunch of daisies on it. There was a cute red, beaded bracelet, and some red-striped socks. A red scrunchie was tied around a three-flower bouquet of roses. I blinked, realizing.

"That's why you asked my favourite colour," I gasped. James grinned.

"Yup," he popped the p. I smiled and leaped at him, wrapping my arms around his and giving him a huge hug.

"This is so cool!" I said, breaking away and inspecting all of the contents. He laughed.

"I guess you did top me," Sirius grumbled. James laughed.

James and Sirius both opened their presents from me. To Sirius I gave a bunch of Queen vinyls which he was very happy about, and to James I gave a leather-bound sketchbook.

"So you'll stop doodling on all your papers. They have become progressively harder to edit," I wiggled a finger at him. He beamed, flicking through the pages excitedly. It was his turn to hug me. I laughed and ruffled his hair.

I hung out with them for the rest of the day. We all helped in the kitchen, making the Christmas dinner before the Potter parents arrived. When they did, they were more than happy to let me stay for dinner. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Mr and Mrs Potter retreated to bed for an early night saying they were tired from traveling. James, Sirius, and I had fun baking more cookies and getting into a little flour fight. We retreated to the basement with our loot of at least a hundred cookies and a tub of ice cream.

James excused himself for a moment and when he came back, he held aloft a bottle of firewiskey. Sirius laughed and I grinned. James handed it to me.

"Trying to get me drunk?" I teased, uncorking it. He laughed.

"That's the plan,"

"Well, it's working," I said, taking a long swig. It burned down my throat, but not unpleasantly. Not to be outdone, James and Sirius did the same. James coughed after his draught and Sirius and I teased him.

Half an hour later, we were all very tipsy and playing truth or dare.

"Iris..." James slurred a bit.

"Yes?" I asked, suppressing a hiccup.

"Truth or dare," he grinned.

"Truth," I sighed.

"Have you ever thought about kissing me?" he burped halfway through the sentence and we three reduced ourselves to giggles.

"Yeah, of course," I replied, grinning. "I mean, who doesn't?" Sirius raised his hand and James laughed.

"Would you'd do it? Right now?" he asked. I furrowed my eyebrows, analyzing the question.

"No," I said finally.

"Awww, why not?" James pouted, making puppy eyes at me. I giggled.

"I'd want it to be more romantic," I said, hiccuping. James nodded, seemingly not noticing that he was tipping over.

"Fair," he said, jerking back up again.

I wanted to stay here, in this moment, hanging out with my friends and screwing around. It was fun and a far more pleasant christmas than any other I had experienced. It had made me forget my troubles for the time being and I appreciated it.

These were the moments in my hectic life that I loved. They were the moments worth protecting. I felt as though a large weight had been removed from my chest. I could finally breath again. They knew. They knew the hell I'd been through and they still loved me and treated me the same.

It had been a long way coming. It started with Regulus, then Sirius, and now James and Remus knew. It made me feel better.

But I was more happy that they hadn't changed their minds about me. Decided I was too damaged, too fragile to be included. I was still their friend. And in these moments, the moments where I was hanging out with my friends, telling jokes, eating food, feeling their love.

I was glad I still had these memories.

These were the moments worth protecting. And I _would_ protect them. Or I'd die trying.


	88. Inhale At Your Own Enjoyment

I woke up with a raging headache, a dry throat, and slumped dizzily om the armrest of the couch. James was half laying on me, half falling onto the floor. Sirius was passed out face-down on the large beanbag. The bottle of firewhiskey lay empty on the floor. Trying to ignore the first hangover I had ever experienced, I shoved James until he was more on the couch than on me, and got up. The headache doubled. I managed to pull out my wand and grab the bottle of firewhiskey.

I cast a silent aguamenti charm and drank the entire thing. then, I vanished the bottle. James was stirring. His eyes opened and he moaned, putting a hand to his forehead.

"That was a terrible idea," he grimaced, screwing his eyes shut.

"Eh, well," I said, grinning. I pressed the tip of my wand against my forehead and cast a headache-easing spell. I'd used it a number of times. Immediately, I felt loads better. Enough so that I could move around without feeling like i would throw up the contents of my stomach. James rubbed his eyes, toppled off the couch, hit the ground face-first, and groaned. The blanket plopped onto his head. I chuckled and marched upstairs.

The clock in the kitchen said 6:17. I huffed. I went through the contents of the kitchen and before long I had started cooking up a fantastic breakfast. Eggs, toast, marmalade, fried tomatoes, bacon, hash-browns, waffles, and an entire kettle of hot chocolate. I was just starting to chop up strawberries for the waffles when James entered the room. His hair was wet and he'd changed into a giant red sweater and jeans. I quirked an eyebrow, asking a question. He just shook his head. I laughed.

He sat heavily upon one of the stools and I pushed a loaded plate his direction. His eyes widened as though he was just noticing the plethora of food in the kitchen. He grabbed a fork and began to devour.

"You didn't have to do this," he said, thickly because he had just taken a bit of egg. I laughed.

"It's okay, my thanks for letting me crash the night," I grinned. James gave me a look.

"Yeah, and every other night until we go back to Hogwarts," he said, determinedly. I wanted to fight him. Convince him I was impeding on his hospitality and that I really should be getting home, but we both knew how much I _didn't_ want to do that. I grabbed my own plate and walked around the counter to sit next to him. We eat destroyed the contents of our plates in silence.

Sirius came up the stairs, his hair disheveled and dark circles under his eyes which he was screwing up because of the light. However, when he saw the food he grinned and sat down with us.

We would've eaten everything had Mr and Mrs Potter not come downstairs.

"Oh, who made all this?" Mrs Potter asked, a smile on her face as she saw us and the massive load of food on the counter.

"Iris did," James said, because I had just taken a large bite of waffle.

"How wonderful, thank you dear. Did these boys happen to help you at all?" She asked, grinning and making herself a plate. I grinned back.

"Nah, they were dead asleep," Mrs Potter clicked her tongue.

"Next time, wake them up," she said, winking. Mr Potter poured himself a mug of hot chocolate and some marmalade toast before settling into one of the table chairs. he was reading the newspaper. I spotted an article. 'Dangerous Necklace Removed from Household; Scandal'. There was a large black-and-white photos of the cursed necklace being carefully held by Mad-Eye Moody. I bit my lip and turned away as Mr Potter lit his pipe.

"Not inside, dear," Mrs Potter, poked him.

"I got a new pipe, it changes the smell of the smoke. It's like an air-freshener," he said, nodding.

"Even so," Mrs Potter pursed her lips. Mr Potter sighed and put out his pipe, tucking it back into his pocket. I got up and set my dish in the sink.

"I'mma use the loo," I mumbled, loud enough that they'd hear, but not think it was weird that I was announcing this. I quickly made my way to the living room and grabbed a fistful of floo powder. In a flash, I was whisked away. I stumbled out and ran to my bedroom, grabbing my trunk from underneath my bed and throwing clothes and other items into it.

I was grabbing everything necessary to stay at the Potters for the rest of winter break. I grabbed everything. I managed to close it, which was a miracle, and grabbed Destry's cage. She'd slept with Parley, James' owl, last night, but she wasn't too keen to do that again.

Once I was positive I had everything, I raced back to the fireplace and grabbed a large pinch of floo powder. I grabbed the handle of my trunk and I was off. I tumbled back into the Potter's to come face-to-face with James, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Liar," he said, carefully. I tried to push him aside, but he grabbed my arm. "You shouldn't have gone without telling me. What if something had happened?" I smiled, reassuring his concern.

"I had to do it eventually, and..." I paused. "I didn't want you to get more worried. I'm fine. I've been fine for ten year now. I can handle myself."

"I know you can, I just need to do something productive and worrying seems to be the best, least invasive solution," he said. I blinked and felt a smile smile creep across my face.

"Fair enough," I said, lugging my trunk up the steps.

"Now this is something I can help with," he said, cheekily. He grabbed the other end and helped me up the stairs. how wonderfully familiar.

Three days later and I was aboard the Hogwarts Express yet again. Lily had already come up to me and whispered the news that Regulus had asked her to the dance and she said yes. I pretended that Regulus hadn't already told me this, and shrieked and giggled along with her.

The arrival to the castle was smooth. We boarded the invisibly-pulled carriages and pulled up to the castle. i was glad to be back. Marta had again taken her stay at my house and I had successfully avoided going back home for the rest of break. At supper Dumbledore reminded everyone that the Winter Ball had been rescheduled and it was to happen Saturday night, three days from now.

I was happy and glad I was back. Back at Hogwarts. Back home. The bliss didn't last long, however. As I was getting ready for bed, an owl landed on the sill outside and pecked. I opened the window ad it hopped inside. The letter affixed to its leg was addressed to me.

_Dear Iris,_

_I would like to speak to you in my office. Don't tell anyone where you are going, I'd rather this be kept secret._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_PS, you wouldn't happen to have any Choc-A-Lot Bonbons, would you?_

I sighed, pulled the jumper back over my head and leapt out the door. I made my way as quickly as possible to Dumbledore's office. I stood in front of the gargoyles.

"Choc-A-Lot Bonbons," I said. The gargoyles leapt aside and admitted me. I walked up the spiral staircase to Dumbledore's office. I didn't bother knocking.

He sat at his desk, observing his many whirring and smoking oddities. Fawkes screeched as I closed the door and I walked over to pet him before sitting down in front of Dumbledore. He didn't look up for a minute or so, deep in thought. I was tempted to clear my throat loudly, but I resisted the urge. After the minute, he looked at me, observing me this time. I swallowed, uncomfortably.

He leaned back in his chair, his thin fingertips pressed against each other.

"This... situation... it's not ideal," he said, frankly.

"No. It's not," I agreed. I trusted I knew where this conversation was going.

"This Osumare girl, I've been doing a lot of research on her," Dumbledore said. His calm, collected, trustful demeanor somehow managed to calm me. "Her parents are both from Africa, but moved France to pursue educational careers in muggle colleges. Osumare is a muggleborn. She was accepted to Beauxbatons and graduated about five years ago. She moved to London immediately and snagged a job working for the Daily Prophet. She didn't take off until her article about you. She's never shown any signs of support for Voldemort—" I flinched. "—nor has she ever had an excuse or an opportunity to meet anyone with those views."

I nodded taking this information in.

"So... you think she's been...?" Dumbledore tilted his head.

"Imperioused? I do not know. Possibly. Can you tell me about the first time you met her? Your first impressions?" I thought, deeply.

"She was bubbly and colourful and bright. Very talkative. Honest. It was odd, but she felt very trustworthy. After our first interview, I decided she was the only one I would ever hold an interview with."

Dumbledore was nodding again, deep in thought. It was a while before he spoke again.

"I'll do more research," he said, breaking the silence. "and for your information, both the Auror office and the Order of the Phoenix are searching for her. Hogwarts is protected very well, and I find it impossible that she would be able to infiltrate us."

I was nodding, but I wasn't really listening anymore. Dumbledore smiled sadly.

"Good night, Miss Brooks."

"Good night, professor."

Classes had resumed and teachers were trying to get us in gear for exams five months from now. No one was particularly interested, however. everyone was much more keen to talk and gossip about the Winter Ball, now only two days away.

Us Marauders, however, were excited for an altogether different reason.

At exactly twelve O'clock today, multi-coloured balloons would fill the entire ceiling of the Great Hall. Not just any balloons either, no, no, of course not. They did different things if you inhaled them. Of course, some of them made your voice higher like helium, but it lasted an hour. Others might turn your hair a bubblegum shade of pink. Some might even make your skin break out in violet purple polka-dots. Some might make you dance the Irish jig for the rest of the day. But, and here's the fun part, the air inside each of them was a different, addicting flavour.

Blue raspberry slushie, cream of potato soup, hot cocoa, caramel, strawberry fizz, spaghetti, pumpkin pasty, roast lamb, cookie dough, anything you'd ever want! The possibilities were endless.

Even better, was if they were popped, ten more filled its place _and_ they would splatter an entire banana cream pie on your face.

All we had to do was wait. Which was sadly excruciating. I glared at my watch, tapping my foot, waiting for the 11:50 bell. Four minutes.

Three minutes.

Two.

_One._

The bell rang and I sprinted out of there as quickly as I could followed by the rest of the Marauders. We slowed as we reached the Great Hall, trying to look inconspicuous. The room slowly filled. All five of us were watching our watches with bated breaths.

Seven minutes.

Five.

four minutes.

Two.

_One_.

A popping noise filled the air, like bubbles in cartoons. The noise came from above. Everyone in the hall looked upward to see a cloud of balloons forming. Reds, pinks, oranges, yellows, limes, greens, turquoises, violets, and purples filled the air. They sparkled and all read in big, black, bold lettering; **INHALE AT YOUR OWN ENJOYMENT**

Muttering and giggles filled the room as the wave of balloons grew larger and neared the ground. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. McGonagall was standing up, her wand raised. I poked the rest of the Marauders and pointed at her. She waved her wand, briskly.

Every single balloon popped. People covered their ears and shrieked. A hundred banana pies fell from the air and splatter on students, tables, and the ground. We just grinned. For a moment, it seemed like she had succeeded, but just as quickly as they had been popped, they reappeared in a cacophony of pops, but this time, there were ten times more. Balloons shoved themselves upon us, you couldn't see in front of you. they leaked out into the halls, masses and waves of balloons, just everywhere.

Kids were screaming and laughing and more popping could be heard which caused a surge of more balloons.

They were _everywhere_. It was rather delightful.

Somehow they were pushed into the halls a bit more where they drifted around. People had already seemed to have gotten the idea and no one seemed to mind if they grew horns for an hour, they just liked the taste. Miraculously intact banana pies were being sold on the school black market. There was someone in every class just eating an entire pie. I was one of those people.

Us Marauder, looking for more chaos, would pop ten per passing period, causing a large influx of more balloons. Some people were just popping them for the pies.

The teachers were not pleased, all except professor Flitwick who took us aside and told us that the charms we had placed were very impressive. He told us this as he ate a slice of banana cream pie and his eyes twinkled.

None of the teachers knew how to get rid of them or (in Flitwick's case) wanted to.

All the students thoroughly enjoyed themselves and were deliberately grabbing some and pulling them to other parts of the castle where they popped them, dispersing them even more. No prank is better than one where other students can actively participate.

At the end of the day, James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and I were all sitting in their dorm, each of us with a pie in our laps.

"To another success!" James bellowed, holding his pie up like a toast.

"To anther success!" We all laughed uproariously.

It was a good day.


	89. As Per Your Request

It was the day of the Winter Ball. Most teachers, realizing that their students were far too excited to bother listening to them, gave us a study hour, AKA sit around and gossip with your friends whilst pretending to do schoolwork hour.

I was extremely excited. Lily was going with Regulus and was very excited about it. The other girls were a little wary, but very supportive as they should be after the whole Snape fiasco. Marlene was going with some hottie from Ravenclaw named Theodore Pike who seemed to be missing a personality, but had enough money to buy Hogwarts as he seemed to be constantly bragging. Mary, of course, was going with Gideon, and... well, I was going with nobody.

I could tell the girls were a little nervous about bringing this up, but honestly, I was sort of happy about it. I'd had a lot of drama lately and to be unhindered at this dance was something I was looking forward to. Anyway, who's to say I wouldn't meet someone that night? After all, James' bet was still on. We were racing to see who could dance with the most people, and perhaps I'd meet the love of my life mid-dance.

The bell rang and everyone rushed out. The girls and I ran back to the common room, laughing, and raced upstairs. We all put on our dresses and everyone took up our jobs. Mary was wearing her blush pink dress with the v-line neck and the fabric roses trailing up the bodice. Lily had her ankle-length asymmetrical yellow dress with the ruffles along the neckline. Marlene had finally decided on the dark burgundy, bodycon dress with the cowl neckline. I, of course, was wearing the beautiful white dress. The spaghetti-strap v-neck with the tight bodice and the beautifully layered tea-length skirt.

I had opted for a pair of nude heels and had decided to tone down the rest of my look was well. Marlene was on makeup duty, Lily on nails, and Mary and I on hair. Lily had decided on a sophisticated updo so while Mary did that, Marlene was working on my makeup. It was simple, natural. Small wings, a blush lip tint, a bit of highlighter and that was it. Mary had finished up Lily's hair, so Lily was doing Mary's nails, a black to match her shoes.

Marlene finished up my makeup and moved to do Mary's. Lily finished with Mary's nails and started on to Marlene's whilst I did her hair. Mary did my hair, a half up/half down style but used a curling iron to make my hair more wavy, and I did Mary's hair.

We were done. Lily magicked the mirror larger and we all stood together inspecting our looks.

"Well, girlies." Marlene grinned. "I'd say we look gorgeous." We all whooped in a agreement and giggled.

"Hey Marlene," Lily said, slyly. "Do you have any of the firewhiskey left?" Marlene gasped, pretending to be appalled.

"Why, Miss Evans, surely you must be joking!" Lily just laughed. "Of course, I do." Marlene elbowed her and pulled a half-empty bottle from beneath her bed and passed it around. I took a longer draft than I meant, but after Christmas I was well-experienced. I don't think the other girls expected it though, and they gaped.

"What?" I asked, stupidly. Marlene laughed.

"Iris, you must be hiding something from us," She grinned and took the bottle, downing the rest of it. "I've been looking for a drinking mate for a while, who knew I was rooming with one?" I just smiled mischievously.

Half an hour later, we traipsed down the stairs. Gideon was waiting for Mary and the Marauders for me. Regulus and Theodore waited outside the portrait hole for Lily and Marlene. Regulus looked mesmerized by Lily and blushed when she closed his gaping mouth with a finger on his chin. He held out his arm and she took it.

James grinned at me. I could feel myself tinge pink a bit as I took in what he was wearing. He was wearing an actual three-piece suit. It was dark blue and his sharp dress shoes were a rich brown. He had a white bow-tie and pocket-square. He was really quite put-together. I could tell he was searching for something snappy or cute or flirtatious to say but he seemed to be in the same predicament Regulus had been. I laughed and he snapped his jaw shut, giving me a sheepish grin.

I could hear Sirius behind us pretending to gag and Remus shushing him, but I didn't care. The five of us made our way to the Great Hall. It was looking amazing tonight. Decorative icicles hung from the ceiling above the floating candles. Fake snow was strategically piled up in the corners, probably to deter couples from hiding out and snogging there. The usual four house tables had been replaced with a hundred smaller round ones with white linen tablecloths.

We all stole a table beside a slowly rotating pine tree, this decorated in fake snow as well. We chattered and talked until professor Slughorn stood and made his usual speech. About how promising these students were and how grateful he was the professor Dumbledore had let him re-schedule. It was really good. Quite inspiring. But also, unfortunately, pretty boring.

When he finished and sat down, menus appeared before us. It worked just as before. We told he plate what we wanted and it appeared. I looked at my options, shrugged, and said, "Chocolate mousse cake," and it appeared. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Is that all you're eating?" he asked. I hmmed.

"Well, we are sixteen now, and Hogwarts is a licensed premises. How about some mulled wine?" A glass appeared before me. "Wonderful," I said, and took a sip. "Hm, not as good as firewhiskey, but it'll have to do."

James laughed.

"I'll have some mulled wine as well," a glass appeared in front of him and he picked it up, raising it to me. We clinked the cups together and took a sip. "For legal alcohol," he toasted.

"For legal alcohol," I agreed. Remus rolled his eyes and ordered some as well. As did Sirius and Peter.

I ate my chocolate mousse cake with vigor and finished up my wine. I was feeling warm and pleasant and ready to beat James in his little dance-off. I did not have to wait long. Professor Slughorn had everyone stand and all except five of the tables disappeared. A band climbed onstage. I recognized them as The Bent-Winged Snitches. They'd been gaining popularity the last year or so and I was excited to hear them live.

James grabbed my hand and pulled me into the already forming crowd.

"First dance together and then we're off to the races," he grinned.

"Works for me," I yelled over the music. It was a really great song and I was soon out of breath. The second the song ended, James ran off to find someone else. I grinned and did the same. I met a guy named Jason who was very nice, but also very, very tall. So much so that my neck was literally at a ninety degree angle whilst talking to him. I snagged a guy with adorable curly hair named Bryce who had a passion for herbology. I was on my fifth dance by the time I saw James again.

He was a few people away, dancing with a pretty ravenclaw girl and was grinning as she laughed. I raised an eyebrow at him as he caught my eye. He held up four fingers. I grinned and held up five. He narrowed his eyes and disappeared in the crowd again.

I was on my thirteenth dance with a boy with sandy blond hair tied into an almost tasteful man-bun when the song ended and James whisked me away in another dance.

"How many are you at?" he asked.

"Thirteen," I said. He grinned.

"Hah! I've got fifteen. I'm beating you," he smirked. I pursed my lips.

"Not for long," I said, slyly. The song ended and we broke apart. I quickly snagged a guy who introduced himself as Terrance. He was a Hufflepuff and very sweet. We talked about art almost the whole time. As soon as the song ended I managed to grab another guy. It turned out to be Fabian and we talked the whole time. I explained to him how we'd managed to pull off the balloon prank. He was very impressed.

I moved on. I grabbed another guy who was dressed in an outrageous pink suit. He told me he had lost a bet. The song ended and before I could grab someone, someone grabbed me. I looked up into the eyes of Scarlett Atkinson.

She was wearing a gorgeous, strappy, red number. She had lipstick to match. Her dark brown hair hung in waves over her left shoulder. Her dress was cut just above her knee and with it she wore dagger-like heels. I blinked, taken-aback.

"I have a very simple question for you, but I'd like you to keep it on the down-low, got it?" She breathed by my ear. I blinked.

"Okay," I agreed. She looked as though she didn't quite believe me, but she spoke anyway.

"Is Marlene single?" she asked, very quickly. I blinked.

"I believe so. She's here with that Theodore Pikes fellow, but I gotta be honest, she doesn't really like him." Scarlett nodded, looking around, spying through the crowd.

"Thanks," she said, and left me in the middle of the dance floor. I blinked, a bit taken aback, but luckily the song ended and I swept up another guy.

Things were going really well. I was at my twenty-third guy before I realized my feet were killing me. Satisfied that I had a fairly large lead, having spotted James chatting with Sirius a few songs back, I decided to step out onto one of the magically formed balconies outside. I shut the french doors behind me and the music cut out. I stood, resting my hands on the cold stone, staring up at the moon.

(James POV)

I was very proud to say I had been dancing up a storm. I was on my twenty-third dance when I realized I hadn't spotted Iris in a while. I decided to check up with her, but I couldn't find her in the crowd. I asked around, but none of the marauders had seen her. I guessed she had stepped out for a breath of fresh air, so I made my way across the dance floor to the balconies.

There she was. She looked even more beautiful in the moonlight. When I had seen her for the first time, when she had come down those stairs, I swear my heart fell into my stomach. She was beautiful and I was still in love with her, no matter what I tried to convince myself. I shut the french doors behind me and started up to her when she spoke.

(Iris POV)

I knew it was him. Who would it be? I had been out here longer than I had planned, of course he would come looking for me. I had been thinking.

"How do you show someone you love them?" I asked. I heard his footsteps halt.

"What?" he said, after a pause. I turned around to face him and felt my heart beat in my chest.

"How do you show someone you love them?" I repeated, looking right into his eyes. He took a few hesitant steps forward, joining me against the stone lip.

"Well, there's a few ways I guess," he said. He paused for a bit. "I suppose a kiss is the most straightforward. There's no way to misinterpret that." He chuckled a bit, but my heart was beating just a little bit faster.

"How often do you kiss people, James?" I asked. My brain was slowly writing the formula, slowly figuring it all out for me. He paused. I saw him furrow his brow.

"I don't know. Whenever I'm home I make sure to kiss my parents goodnight. Sometimes I kiss my friends on the head when they're having a hard time. I've kissed your cheek and hands more times than I can count." I tried not to think about that too much.

"Right. Isn't that easy? Just so easy?" I said, stepping away, and wrapping my arms tight around myself. I kept my back toward him. "Then why," I seethed. "Why is this so hard?!" I could tell James was a bit confused. He wasn't talking. I spun on my heel and turned back to him, my gaze angry without really understanding why.

"I want to tell someone I love them. That I love them so much it hurts, but I can't say it. Why can't I say it, James?" I asked, feeling the pain. He stood and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin on my head. I closed my eyes.

"I don't know. Why do you want to tell them?" he spoke softly. I sighed and pushed away. He stood in front of me, his hands in his pockets.

"Because it hurts not too," I confessed, my voice a whisper. A few moments of silence ticked by.

"Maybe you can't because you're worried they'll reject it," he suggested. I paused.

"Maybe," I whispered. Another long pause.

"Maybe this has been going on for so long you can't bear a change," he said. His foot inched closer.

"Maybe," I said, my voice barely a breath. I clutched my arms tighter. He stepped a little closer.

"Maybe you told yourself you wouldn't. That you didn't want to love them," he was so close now. I didn't want to look at him.

"Maybe," I said, my voice too quiet. He paused. He tilted my chin so I was looking right into his eyes.

"Maybe it's because you've never said I love you before," he murmured back. I swallowed and the silence built around my ears.

"I think that's it," I whispered. We were so unbelievably close. My arms dropped from my chest and I looked at him, my weak resolve carrying this peculiar feeling. I decided to act before it crumbled.

"Hey, James?" I said, looking at him. The moon was behind him. "Can I tell you something?" I whispered.

"Anything," he whispered back. That was all I needed. I reached up a hand and brushed his cheek with my finger. And then I was kissing him. It was the most magical feeling. I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. He wrapped his arms around my waist and my arms were over his shoulders. I dared lift a hand to his hair. We broke apart, but we stayed close, our foreheads resting together.

We breathed together.

"I love you too," James murmured. I gave a little breathless laugh. He let go of his tight grip around me and we sat on the stone lip. I leaned against him and his arm wrapped around my shoulders. I wrote small circles in the palm of his other hand.

"How long?" he asked, quietly. I chuckled.

"I'm not sure. I was fighting a losing battle, but I think I finally came to terms with it around mid-October," I smiled. James laughed. "I was worried you were losing interest though. I mean, I had been fighting it for so long, so vehemently... I was a bit worried. Not to mention, I felt as though I was losing a dare. The 'avoid being wooed by James Potter' dare. I dunno," I said, and we both laughed.

"I wasn't losing interest," James assured me. "I was just realizing that maybe you were serious and that maybe I ought to respect that." We were quiet for a minute.

"I'm glad you know all of me now," I said, a bit suddenly. James stilled. "I mean, I also wanted to avoid loving someone because... then I'd either have to tell them or keep a secret from them, neither of which were good options." I closed my eyes. "Not to mention, everyone I've ever loved has either died or turned on me, and I didn't want to risk that more than I had to."

James was quiet but thoughtful.

"I think you've gotten past that. Look at all your friends. You love them, don't you?" he said. I smiled.

"Of course, it just... felt a little different with a... a lover," I sighed.

"A lover? Is that what I am now?" James joked. I snorted.

"Stop, you know what I meant," James just grinned and squeezed me. We sat there for a few minutes longer, before James stood up and offered me a hand. I took it and he pulled me into another kiss. I smiled.

We entered the dance again and just sat, talking.

"By the way," I asked. "How many people did you get?"

"Twenty-three," he grinned. I laughed.

"Looks like we tied," I grinned. He pulled me closer.

"Fine by me," he said, and kissed me again.

And far above us, the moon shone through the magical ceiling. The stars sparkled.


	90. Love

"So," Remus said, joining my side as I went through the portrait hole. "What's new with you?" I smiled.

"Nothing much," I said, simply. Remus snorted.

"Liar," he said. I blinked. I coughed, casually.

"Excuse you?" I said, trying to play dumb. My face was warming.

"Something's up with you and James." He didn't say it like a question.

"...Maybe," I said. He tutted.

"You'd better tell me before someone else does," He raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing mine.

"The whole school knows," he said right as we entered the great hall. I don't know who the first person was who saw me, but that person whispered to their friends and then to theirs and suddenly the whole room was looking at me. I swallowed and took another step toward the Gryffindor table. I kept cool and ignored everyone. I sat down, as did Remus.

"Did you dance with Sirius at all?" I asked him, buttering my toast. It was his turn to blush.

"Yeah... a bit," he said, lying easily.

"Hm," I said, doubtfully raising an eyebrow. He cleared his throat.

"Well, maybe a lot, but that's irrelevant. Scarlett swooped him up halfway through," he said. I hummed.

"Actually, I think Scarlett's playing her cards too," I said, quietly, just to him.

"What?" he said, not understanding.

"I think she's got a think for Marlene," I whispered. Remus jolted.

"Really? You think—" Just then, someone hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek. I spotted Dumbledore passing McGonagall several galleons underneath the table and I turned to greet James who was looking very self-satisfied at the moment. Probably from the amount of stares and whisperings directed at us.

"Good morning, Love," he grinned and sat on my other side.

"Morning," I said, taking a bite out of my toast. I saw Remus' face go pink as Sirius sat down next to him and flirted very obviously, poking fun at James and me. I just smiled.

"We've got a lot of eyes on us, Love. What do we want to do about it?" James muttered. I looked around, surveying the whisperers.

"Something like this," I said, leaning in and kissing him. When I pulled away he blinked and grinned sinking his chin onto his fisted hand, propped up on the table, staring at me with a puppy-like stare. The whispers had abruptly stopped and then erupted into ten times more.

"I like that, that's a good plan," James grinned. I laughed and bumped him with my shoulder.

It was odd. Throughout the day I experienced either delighted grins or jealous stares and most peculiar of all were the teachers' reactions. A lot of them seemed really pleased. I got the feeling that a few different bets had been going on, not just Dumbledore's and McGonagall's.

It was an odd day, but what was by far the oddest was being able to openly love James. I had kept so many feelings, so many emotions locked in my chest for so long it was nice to let one out into the open. Free and uncaring. He was a very touchy-feely person and I didn't mind one bit. There were so many things about him that I just hadn't known because I had never been in the relationship perspective with him, it felt like I unlocked a new trait every day.

I learned he just loved having an arm around me at all times. I found that he liked when I laid my head on his shoulder. I learned he liked holding hands with me in the hallway. I learned that he liked it when I ran my fingers through his hair when we kissed. I learned that he liked when I tugged on the end of his tie. In turn, I discovered many new things about myself and love. It was a whirlwind.

Sirius was already disgusted by our 'blatant displays of affection and disregard for the people around us', a direct quote from him. Although, he used our own flirtations on Remus pretending to make fun at us, but also making an excuse to flirt heavily with Remus who, I could tell, was enjoying it immensely and returning the favour a great deal.

Regulus and I met up in the library before lunch and chatted a bit. He talked nonstop about Lily and their date last night. It had gone swimmingly. Lily, of course, as I knew, had quite enjoyed the date and gushed and giggled over the subject well into the night. She really liked him. I asked him if he was going to ask her out on another date and he blushed.

"We're going to eat lunch in one of the empty classrooms like you and me used to do," he grinned sheepishly as I laughed and slapped him on the back.

"Good on you! Enjoy yourselves," I said, wiggling my eyebrows as the bell rang. He blushed a bit and ran off. I collected my books and made my way to the common room to drop them off in my dorm. I had a free hour after lunch and I preferred to go in after the fact for a quieter, more independent lunch. I grabbed a book off my nightstand and laid down on my bed to read.

It wasn't fifteen minutes before a quite knock sounded.

"Come in!" I called. I had a suspicion as to who it was. James entered the room and closed the door behind him, grinning and running his fingers through his hair. "How'd you get up the stairs?" I asked, not looking up from my book. He moved and sat at the foot of my bed.

"Magic," he said, vaguely. I rolled my eyes. "Fine, a levitation spell. It did not work very well." He grinned, but I kept reading my book. He was pouting, I could tell. He flicked the cover of my book several times, but I ignored it. He snaked a hand around me and rested his head on my stomach, laying across my leg, my other one being propped up. I shifted the book a bit to look at him and blow him a kiss, but returned to my book.

After a few minutes, he grew oddly still. I shifted my book again to find him asleep, tightly hugging me. I chuckled quietly to myself and set the book aside, taking to running my hands through his hair. He woke up and shifted to look up at me. He grinned and pulled himself up so that he was closer to me, laying on his side, his arm still around my waist. I ran my fingers through his hair again and he pushed up to kiss me. I closed my eyes and drew him in.

_Cuddling is nice. I like cuddling_ , I decided right then and there.

Later that day I received a letter from Harold. The gist was that they hadn't caught Osumare and they had no leads, but they had decided it was safe for me to come back to work. I was worried about the workload I might have the next weekend, but the letter explained to me that the secretary had been handling things for me. I was extremely grateful and resolved to thank her the next time I saw her.

Dumbledore also assured me that I was probably safe for the time being. If she was working for you-Know-Who, which we all assumed she was, he wouldn't have her re-surface for a while just because we were all on guard. I'm not lying when I say I'm not afraid of her.

Now that I know she's been taking my memories and how she's been doing it, it'll be harder for her to get me to listen to her long enough for her to force the potion down my throat. I was just so angry that I just wanted to duel her and _beat_ her.

Unfortunately, this was just another thing I couldn't tell anyone. Just like the Project Stonewall and being the Keystone and the training I was being given. I was just happy the list had been considerably shortened as of late.

Meanwhile, James was getting excited for our next match against Slytherin. It was next week and if we beat them, we wouldn't have to worry about the Ravenclaw team in the future. He was excitedly running over tactics and other things with me, asking for my opinion and calculations which I readily answered from over my book.

The next day was when he really started cracking down.

"Alright team!" He shouted, calling everyone down from their warmups. "This next match against the Slytherins may seem to just be another usual match. I've done that calculations and if we beat them, we won't have to go against the Hufflepuffs at all again and the Ravenclaws will basically stand no chance point-wise. This is a big match for _us_ if we get it right. Now, I've got a few tactics I'd like us to brush up on and a few more I'd like us to learn, just so we can throw off the Slytherin team. Okay? Let's go!"

We all took off. James directed us precisely. Lacey soared up over everyone and Nausicaa flew over to the posts. Fabian and Gideon were given new instructions, so stay nearer each other than normal for a more concentrated tactic and James explained our new tactic for scoring.

Half way through practice I spotted Remus sitting in the stands pretending like he was reading a book. I smiled and waved at him. He waved back and closed the book, watching the practice fully. I saw Sirius glance over and grin.

"Hey, James! It's getting a bit hot, innit?" Sirius yelled. It wasn't hot per-say, but it was warmer than usual. Spring had decided to come quickly and today the sun was angry.

"Yeah, yeah, you can if you want to..." James said, waving him off. Sirius grinned and took off his shirt. The unspoken rule among all athletes is that if you have the option to workout shirtless, you'd best take it. Exercising in a shirt can get miserable quickly.

"Oh, thank Merlin," Fabian moaned and tore his off as well. Since I was wearing a sports bra, I decided to the same. Everyone tossed their shirts to the ground and we continued practice. Soon, James called for a break and immediately Sirius soared over to the stands where Remus was watching. James flew over to me, showing me his clipboard of wiggled lines and various manoeuvers. I inspected his papers and other things and nodded, giving them my seal of approval. We hovered next to each other, both absentmindedly watching Sirius' and Remus' flirtations.

You could practically see Remus' red face from here. Sirius was really smug about the whole not-wearing-a-shirt thing. I'd talked to him a bit about how he could be even more obvious than he was already being and one of them was that he had noticed Remus got a little flustered seeing Sirius absent of certain clothing items which really is quite funny, because when Sirius is in his dorm there's always some article of clothing missing.

Remus was saying something scathing or retorting and Sirius was fake pouting. James wrapped an arm around my shoulder and I flinched.

"Ew, you're all sweaty!" I screeched, pushing him away. He laughed.

"We're both sweaty, Love," he grinned, zooming toward me.

"Yeah, but I'm sweaty enough for myself, thanks," I said, looking at him disgustedly. He grinned.

"I don't think so," he said and flew at me. I shrieked and tried to evade him but he wrapped both his arms around me. I struggled to get out of his embrace but he had managed a tight hold.

"You are _so_ gross," I moaned, finally managed to wiggle out of his arms. He just laughed. "You're evil."

"Aww, c'mon," James grinned, winking. "You can't really tell me you minded this." He gestured at his chest and I pretended to gag.

"It didn't make it any better, trust me," I folded my arms over my chest. He opened his mouth to say something.

"Oi! Can we get back to practice?" Nausicaa called, hands cupped around her lips. She high-fived Gideon. James stuck out his tongue at me and I copied him.

"Yeah, alright," he soared back to the center. I followed after. Sirius winked and Remus and joined us. Practice went on.

I was staying up, finishing a transfiguration due tomorrow because I'm a literal genius and hadn't thought to start it before now. It was nearly midnight as I watched the fire dim down to coals. The weird thing about living in a castle is that it's always cold, no matter how warm it is outside. I dipped my quill in my inkwell and started on another paragraph. A creaking came from the stairs and I looked up to see James descending.

"What are you doing up so late?" I asked, dotting the sentence.

"I could ask you the same thing," he said, smiling and sitting next to me. He looked over my shoulder. "What's the topic?"

"The differences between turning an object into a living thing and vice-versa," I said. I went back to the inkwell. James nodded. He yawned, stretched his arm, and put it around my shoulders. I laughed.

"You don't have to be subtle about it anymore. You can just, y'know. Put your arm around me normally," I grinned. He laughed.

"This way's more fun," He leaned in and gave me a peck on the lips. I shook my head, smiling. After a while, I finished up the essay. It was one in the morning by now and we were both very sleepy. I set the parchment aside to let it dry a bit more before I rolled it up and put it in my bag. I stood.

"G'night," I said, moving to go to my dorm, but James grabbed my arm and pulled me onto his lap. He wrapped his arm around me tightly. I turned so we were facing each other. I reached into his hair and he pulled me into a light kiss. It was slow. We pulled apart, out foreheads still resting together.

"Love you," he murmured.

"Love you too," I smiled. We moved apart and just looked at each other.

And then we burst out laughing. James wrapped his arm around me.

"This is crazy," I said, wiping away tears.

"It is a little bit, yeah," James said, grinning, holding me tighter. "But I'm glad you're mine."

"And I'm glad I finally succumbed to your idiotic flirtations," I grinned.

"That's good, because you're going to be getting a lot more of that," James said, wiggling his eyebrows. I laughed and hit his shoulder.

"Don't make me regret it," I said, waggling a finger in his face. He grabbed it and leaned closer.

"I won't," he smiled and we kissed again.


	91. A Not-Quite-Pleasant Cup of Tea

"You _must_ stop nicking my things!" James yelled, trying to grab my wrist. I dodged out of the way, easily. "You have enough sweatshirts, I've seen your collection!" He said, jumping around a bedpost and finally catching me around the waist. I wriggled but he held tight. I buried my face into his chest.

"Bu' if smelfs 'ike oo..." I mumbled, my voice muffled. He pushed me off his chest and leaned in closer.

"What was that?" He asked, cheesily, treating me like a toddler in a fit.

"But it smells like you..." I said, pouting my lips. He laughed. He laughed again. In desperate need of a seat, he collapsed upon Sirius' bed.

"Well, in that case..." he said, finally gaining control of his breath. "I want to wear one of yours."

And so, that school say, James Fleamont Potter went around wearing a cropped sweatshirt. It revealed his stomach quite a bit and he was very lenient toward raising his arms, mock yawning so one might get a glance and immediately be reduced to blushing and crazed murmurings about how much murdering someone in sixth year would affect their future career.

After I got used to it, however, it became even easier to fluster James. Leaning in close and trailing cold fingers up his stomach and chest, not enough to be vulgar in public, but enough to turn James' face tomato and unable to form coherent sentences. All in all, the school either thought it was extremely funny, or downright too public. I thought it hilarious.

Mrs McGonagall was pretty much against it, but she couldn't do anything because Dumbledore had been eagerly talking to her about renewing fashion trends.

"In Transylvania," He was saying as we passed. "during the 17th century, it was quite the regular occurrence for young men to show off their midriffs, thinking it was manly and proof of their athletic abilities, whilst the girls donned dresses so flowy and poofed that you could hardly see their faces, they were like piles of frills..."

McGonagall huffed and gave us a scowl as we scurried by, trying desperately not to laugh.

Much to my dismay, I received a letter just before dinner, declaring that an emergency Order meeting had been called. I scarfed down my supper, explaining to my friends that Harold needed me for something urgent and sprinted out the double-doors.

I raced to the edge of the forbidden forest, where, much to my surprise, many of my professors were waiting.

"We like to make sure everyone is with us before we apparate," Dumbledore beamed at me. I nodded and tried to stand tall whilst we waited for one last person. Hagrid rushed toward us, a large, dark, hulking figure in the distance. He came to a stop before Dumbledore, huffing and puffing. Dumbledore beamed up at him. I didn't know how he could see his face from that angle, it seemed his stomach would interfere with that.

" 's this all o' us?" Hagrid said, out of breath, pulling his belt up further over his stomach.

"Yes, Hagrid," McGonagall said, clippedly. We all turned, facing that castle as we apparated off. Hagrid put a large meaty hand on Dumbledore's shoulder. hIm being half-giant I supposed it was much harder for him to apparate by himself. Not wanting to be last, I turned on my heel, but as I did, a rough hand grabbed my shoulder whipping me away. I lost my concentration and struggled against the person who was pulling me in another direction; apparating me somewhere else...

The tightness and the surprise of it all left me senseless. I couldn't tell who it was. I was about to pass out, my eyes swimming when we landed on solid ground. Too surprised, my knees gave out and before the person could put a wand to my temple I finally caught a glimpse of their face. _Her_ face. She didn't look the same.

"Fu..." I succumbed to the darkness.

I woke up, in a very dark room with tight cords wrapped around me pinching me. I was hanging from the ceiling from the tight cords. I moaned, my everywhere felt bruised. I kept my eyes closed, however, and let my jaw go slack again. I heard someone stepping about in the room. The floor creaked. I could hear the sound of a fire, the crackling of it. The room nevertheless remained cold. I still had my wand, I could feel it; pressed against my ribcage from the tight coils. Those were the only senses I could perceive before the steps stopped dead.

I didn't want to panic, but my heart was beating rapidly, pounding through my chest. I was sure anyone could hear it. I listened with bated breath, trying to figure where the person was when the someone placed a finger underneath my chin. I tensed, I couldn't help it.

A deep chuckled resounded, quite, frail, and yet I knew this person was anything but.

"I know you're awake," the voice whispered. A tingle of shivers trailed up my spine and before I decided to open my eyes, the person slapped me. The ropes binding me too tight, the slap only moved my head and neck. I could almost hear the muscle tearing. I winced, painful tears trickling down my face to mingle with the sweat.

The person who I was locking eyes with was not Osumare, though I knew it was her who had brought me here. It was not someone I recognized, but it was someone I knew.

From the stories.

From the tales.

"Oh, hi," I said, weakly, finding it difficult to find the strength to raise my head. He cackled. He cooed.

"Hello, to you too," You-Know-Who crueled, his corner lip almost raising to a smirk, but not quite. I didn't reach his eyes. They looked empty, like you could climb into them and get lost, never reaching the light ever again.

"Care for some tea?" He asked, politely, raising a cup and a kettle about to pour.

"Does it have any more of that tampered veritaserum? Because, if so, I respectfully decline." He wasn't jaded.

"Oh, you _have_ figured that out. That's a good sign. You're intelligent," it didn't _sound_ like a compliment, but you couldn't be too sure with him. He poured the tea, successfully avoiding my question and set it smartly on the table. Then, he snapped and the coils of rope around me tightened once and then released, sending me thudding to the floor. My shoulder flared and I gritted my teeth, but I managed to stand up, less than gracefully I might add. I stood, my knees swaying.

"I'll just escape now," I said, thumbing over my shoulder. His upper lips curled.

"Will you?" he asked, tidying up the tea tray, back toward me. "If you do it'll be the second time you've defied me." I stood, conflicting whether or not I should take my chance and apparate away, or stay, and hopefully gain some information. What did he mean about the 'defying' thing? And though every bone in my body screamed, I took and shaky few steps and sat down in the cushioned seat in front of him. He stood for another moment before he too bent his knees and sat across me.

He sipped his own tea, and too thirsty to refuse I sipped my own. It certainly tasted like normal tea. I downed it in one gulp. You-Know-Who raised an eyebrow and poured me another. This time, I made myself sip. It was silent for a few minutes, the room only filled with the sounds of the crackling fireplace and the clink of teacups against saucers.

He finished his tea and set the cup and saucer on the table, clasping his fingers and watching me finish my own. Taking my time, as he didn't seem too keen on speaking until I was quite finished, I sipped slowly. I finished and slowly set it on the table, ignoring the quiet shaking of my hand.

He almost smiled again.

"You are currently my worst enemy," he said. I quirked an eyebrow.

"It's an honour," said, sarcastically. "Pray tell, why?" He actually smiled this time, and it was ten times more disturbing than his half ones. I shivered.

"Well," he said, listing off on his fingers. Merlin, he was cocky, wasn't he? "You have a very high status in the Ministry, rubbing elbows with the likes of Harold Minchum, you are very talented in a number of subjects mostly due to your having a wand since you were six, you've already been inducted into the Order of the Phoenix as the youngest member yet, can produce a corporeal patronus, which I can't even do by the way, and," he leaned forward. "You're thwarting my plans for young recruits."

I was pale before he even finished his second sentence. In a moment of weakness, I choked.

"H—how...?"

"Oh, come now. I thought you were intelligent," his lips curled. He was right. I knew exactly how this had happened. Osumare. I didn't speak, instead, staring into his eyes like I wanted to stab them out with a teaspoon. He only watched me, pensively. I didn't want to speak.

"Is she imperioused or..." I trailed off. He didn't smile.

"I'll leave that to your own deductions." Great. Now I had a question that would keep me tossing and turning until I figured it out.

And he knew it.

Silence fell between us again until he cleared his throat and stood. I half-expected coils to spring around my wrists, but none did. His back was toward me. He was vulnerable. I still had my wand; I could jinx him here and now—

I stood. He didn't react, merely holding out a hand, gesturing at a closed door on the opposite side of the room. It swung open and revealed someone I had very much wanted to see tonight.

"Hi, Iris," she crooned. I grimaced.

"Hi, bastard," I said, every bit of nonchalant hatred I had shooting at her from my eyes. Osumare smiled.

"Yeah, so, I'm actually going to leave now," I said, grimacing, standing up. You-KNow-WHo turned around to face me. It was another one of his actual smiles. It darted straight into my chest, the fear planted, growing rapidly. I took a step closer. Another one, I slowly drew my wand and then;

Pain.

Immense, stomach-clenching, vomit-inducing, scream-wrenching pain. It wasn't a crutiatus curse, no, I knew what that pain felt like. This was fire. In my throat, in my eyes, in my abdomen.

"What you're feeling right now," Osumare gloated, "Is a special poison I've brewed up." She giggled, sadistically. I grimaced, clamping down on another scream.

You-Know-Who retreated, backing out of the room from where Osumare had entered.

"Your first cup was poisonless. It was your greed for a second that has killed you," he crouched, grinding his heel onto my wrist, making me scream even more and drop my wand. "You see, you didn't ask about that second." He stood up and left the room, leaving Osumare to watch my slow death.

He was very clear; even though I was his most imminent enemy, I still wasn't worth his time.

Osumare was having fun, cackling and poking fun at my prostrate figure upon the ground. The pain faded as my sight did. I struggled. I did not want to die. I _wasn't_ going to die. Years of training to see a way out, almost useless to me at this point I was so far gone. Then it hit me.

I had taken to keeping a Dacian plant from my and Regulus' potions project in my pocket at all times. I found them extremely useful for a number of things, but mostly I gave them to Remus after bad transformations. I managed to wriggle my arm under my body and into my pocket, pulling the ties apart and reaching inside for a few, dried up, crumbly leaves. I shoved them into my mouth, praying Osumare hadn't seen me.

Almost immediately the pain stopped. I had to keep the act up, however. I kept screaming until I managed to purposely fade them and played dead on the floor. I closed my eyes. I knew where my wand was. It was just about a foot away from my right-hand fingertips.

Osumare had quieted down, watching me quietly as I faked death. Once I had been suitably still for a few minutes, she walked past me. I was worried she was checking for a pulse, but she stepped over me and went to collect the tea tray. This was my chance; it was now or never.

Steeling myself, I tensed and then pushed off the floor with my palms and leapt for the wand. I grabbed it and the second I twisted, Osumare was on me, pinning me down, but we were far too gone. I was headed straight for the Order of the Phoenix headquarters with a Death Eater on my back.


	92. Twain

It was very hard to focus on being terrified when hurtling through time and space, but still, I managed it. I had a Death Eater on my bad. A _Death Eater_. Moody would swear like a sailor at my messiness, but in my defence, I had been very focused on not being poisoned. I felt Osumare grip tighter around my throat.

Time to _think_. Which, again, was very difficult in my spot. I only had seconds before I would arrive. What was I going to do? She couldn't have a chance to even see where she was. According to Dumbledore, You-Know-Who was a legilimens, and if Osumare was under the imperious curse, then he could directly find our headquarters. I had to act fast.

Just as I realized this, we began to slow. I readied myself, weary as I felt her stiffen as well. Just as I felt solid ground beneath my feet, I whipped around, clocked the side of her head, and pulled out my wand, stunning her as she lay on the ground. She was unconscious. I let out a scream/breath I had been holding in.

A split second later, the eight blackened windows around me disappeared and thirty members of the Order pointed their wands at me. I let out a sob of relief and fell to my knees, my hands in the air. Moody stepped out the door and stuck a wand to my throat. His eye didn't flicker to the body beside me, but I would bet money he was with his mechanical one.

"Which quill was I using the last time Iris came in for lessons?" he asked. I had to think for a moment.

"The... grey and blue crow," I said. His wand didn't fall.

"What was the last book Iris read?" I sighed.

"Wuthering Heights," I said. Finally, he was satisfied and his wand slipped. My arms dropped to my sides but I didn't have a strength to get up from kneeling. The tears that dripped down my face weren't a result of my current psychological state, my mind was just catching up with all that had happened to me in the last two minutes. It had all been so fast I hadn't had time to react, so my face was a mess of tears as Moody examined Osumare. Several other Order members had come out now and were assisting Moody in restraining the unconscious girl. I heard them decide to bring her to the small holding-area on the third floor with the training area and office.

Alice came up to me and gripped my shoulder, helping me up. She led me to the long table where they had obviously been sitting before. She gave me a kerchief and I thanked her. The other members who were not helping Moody and sat back down. The windows to the centre of the building had been replaced by a wave of someone's wand. Someone came up behind me and began rubbing circles on my back, comforting me. I looked up and to my surprise, it was Professor McGonagall. She smiled, thinly.

"We were all very worried about you," she said, evenly, but I was surprised to hear a bit of strain in her throat. She sat down once Moody was back. I had been seated at the head of the table. Dumbledore was across from me and every other Order member between us. I was thankful that the tears had stopped flowing because I was now the person of the hour. Everyone looked at me.

"It's all you, Iris," Dumbledore motioned. I sighed and began, reluctantly.

"When I was apparating off the Hogwarts grounds, someone grabbed me from behind and re-directed me. I tried to fight, but a mixture of lack of oxygen and her own attempted strangulation stopped me. When we arrived I was almost passed-out but I caught a glimpse of Osumare before she hit me with a spell, rendering me completely unconscious. I woke up completely tied and hung from the ceiling. I attempted to play unconscious and gather my bearings, but You-Know-Who knew I was awake."

Gasps ran around the room when I said You-Know-Who. I even heard a 'dear Merlin,' somewhere in the mix.

"We had a very... pleasant... conversation. He explained to me over a cup of tea that I was his currently his top-priority enemy and then he poisoned me. He left the room as I struggled on the ground, leaving Osumare to watch me die. Luckily, I have been keeping infused Dacian plants in my pocket ever since my school project involving them. I ate them and then pretended to die while they worked through my system. When Osumare was looking away, I snagged my wand and apparated away, but she managed to grab onto me. The end," I said, tired. No one laughed. Shame.

Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Did he state why you were his 'top-priority enemy'?" He inquired. I nodded. How could a silent room seem to grow quieter?

"I have a high-status in the Ministry (specifically due to my close-proximity with Harold), because of my abnormal abilities in magic due to me having a wand since I was six, he knows I'm a member of this order as the youngest member ever, I can produce a corporeal patronus which is supposedly a reflection of my character and more with my talent, and I am ruining his young-recruits plan," I said. Dumbledore had gone unusually still. Pale too, he looked like a statue.

"He phrased it like that, did he?" he asked, quietly behind pressed fingertips. I nodded. There was a very prolonged pause. No one wanted to break the silence. "This is... revealing," Dumbledore said, with as much tact as the given situation was able to provide. I almost wanted to laugh, so frustrated was I with this situation, at the lack of context and lack of action able to be taken. I wanted to punch a wall or just sit and forget everything. Either would satisfy this strange pit I felt in my lungs.

I wanted to ignore the rest of the meeting, but the actually important stuff that everyone had been called here about hadn't been announced, so preoccupied had they been with my disappearance. I wasn't worried. Or nervous. I didn't think I could be at this point.

"We have found out," Dumbledore was saying. "That a child in Hogwarts has been recruited. Or. at the very least, been attending Death Eater meetings."

My stomach dropped. This _was_ bad news. I was failing at my job. At least it explained why You-Know-Who had kidnapped me at this time.

"Iris, do you know any possible person he could have recruited? Anyone close enough?" Dumbledore asked. I patted around my pockets and fished out the joke book/hidden writing book Sirius had given me for Christmas. Of all the uses I could've had, this was the one. The most disappointing. I consulted my list.

"Antonin Dolohov, Severus Snape, Augustus Rookwood, Avery Jr, and Mulciber Jr as kids trying to recruit. As for potential targets, I've got Evan Rosier, Heidi Vannassen, and Regulus Black." I still hated reading that last name. He shouldn't be on this list. He _shouldn't_ be, no matter what his bedroom looked like. I swallowed.

Dumbledore was nodding.

"Iris, we very much appreciate the work you are doing for us at the Keystone. Your work will help prevent so much and we applaud you," a smattering of applause echoed around the table. I gave a half-smile. It felt more like a grimace. "Keep watching, find out who this kid is. Meeting adjourned."

"A penny for your thoughts?" James asked, sitting down beside me. I watched the sunset over the Black lake.

"My thoughts are worth a lot more than a penny," I sighed, tightening my arms around my stomach.

"Any worth telling me?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me.

"Not really," I lied. "It's just a jumble." James nodded. We sat for a bit, just watching the shots of light across the surface of the lake.

"Want to go in? It's getting nippy," James said, poking me. I smiled.

"Yeah, okay," I ceded. We walked together, hand in hand toward the castle. The pit in my lungs had grown. I desperately needed to tell someone. Just when I thought things would get easier, that I could be more transparent with my relationships another round of secrets and hidden things were thrust upon me. I couldn't just tell James I had been kidnapped by the darkest wizard of our time and poisoned and attacked by a once-friend, but that didn't stop the fear in my dreams and thoughts from consuming me from the inside-out.

He could tell something was eating me. I could tell, but James was the sort to let things happen as they did. Let the person tell him, which was very admirable but at that moment I wished he was the prying, forcing type. Remus was, but he was absorbed with wooing Sirius at the moment. Sirius was lovely and caring, but ultimately oblivious. I said nothing was wrong, he shrugged and changed the subject. Peter was a dunce and couldn't tell if someone was angry or jumping for joy. That didn't stop him from being boundlessly empathetic, however. I longed to tell him just for the sake of his understanding.

Marlene would be able to see it in a shot but would stay suspicious and hinting about me keeping something from her, but she'd never know. She was the last person I wanted to know, anyway. She'd storm Dumbledore's office, screaming and shouting at him for the lack of personal safety. Mary would be understanding, but ultimately unsatisfying to tell because she'd never be able to keep it secret. The only person I could think of who would understand me, keep the secrets, and be the perfect kind of reassurance with structure was Lily.

I really wanted to tell her. The thought was consuming me, eating me alive.

Should I? And put the risk of her life along with my own? I desperately wanted to. I knew she'd find out eventually. She'd take one look at me and ask me what was wrong and I wouldn't have the strength to lie.

I was lost in thought while we walked in the halls. So lost in thought, James grew annoyed. Before I could react, he pushed me against a wall, hands on either side of my head.

"What are you—" I said, annoyed, but before I could finish, he kissed me. He was completely pressed against me. I was pinned between the wall and his body, and you know what? I liked it.

It started out slow but quickly escalated. It was passionate, it was distracting, which is exactly what James had been trying to accomplish and what I deeply needed at the moment. He caught my wrist and pressed it against the wall, lacing our fingers together.

Unfortunately, need of breath interrupted us, but not for long. My arms had wrapped over his shoulders and as he leaned in to continue, I jumped, my legs wrapping around his waist. He caught me and it was even more pleasant to feel his grip on my thighs.

He smiled as he kissed me and I reached up to hold his face. He was here. He pressed me further into the stone. The press of him warmed me. To think of what I had been missing all these years. We were twain, entwined. His lips on mine erased all my thoughts. He was here. I was with him.

Coming up for another breath of air, my fingers tangled in his hair, he looked frankly windswept. I laughed and he grinned, resting his chin in the crook of my neck, pressing into me. I laughed and combed his hair with my fingers.

"Have I distracted you yet?" he asked, a devilish smile on his lips. I smiled and tugged his hair.

"Quite,"


	93. A Kiss Among the Wildflowers

Lily. Lily. Lily, Lily, _Lily._ My brain teased me relentlessly.

I had already done the analysis, the fleeting calculations; Lily was the only person I could tell. She would keep it a secret, she'd understand and that perfect level of empathetic without it being drown-out, and she'd hear me. _Really_ hear me. I knew she sensed something was wrong. She'd already asked me once and I'd barely kept my lips, she was the type you just couldn't lie too, but I'd done it.

And over and over my brain told me to tell her. I needed _someone_. Someone to tell all the secrets I couldn't tell James.

James.

Merlin, I wanted to tell him. So badly it hurt. Here I had been, finally opening my heart to start a relationship because I finally felt my heart was on my sleeve, my mind and soul an open book to someone, just to see the secrets of before replaced with new ones. Far more _dangerous_ and vile ones. Ones that hurt to hold.

The secrets from before I had kept to protect myself; my relationships, which hurt, but it was my _choice_. These secrets were different. They were the secrets of other people. Dangerous ones that could kill people, damage them, throw their own souls to be devoured.

And Lily was the only one who would understand.

_Lily_.

I stared at the back of her head during transfiguration, my hands clasped over my head, my chin sharply into the surface of the table. These dangerous words, these keen secrets cut my tongue, sliced my throat. McGonagall hadn't mentioned my current position. I clearly wasn't listening to the lesson, but no word came from her.

I prayed my silent thanks. McGonagall was a miracle of a person, and I appreciated it every bit.

I ground my knuckles into my temples wishing the pain would travel. The bell rang and I snatched up my bag and followed Lily out.

"I need to talk to you," I said, dragging her to an empty room. She was protesting, explaining she was meeting Regulus in the library, but seeing my eyes and feeling my grip silenced her. We slipped into an empty classroom and I tapped the lock with my wand. I sat on the stone steps leading down to the centre of the classroom. Slowly, Lily sat beside me. I pressed a knuckle against my lip for a moment. Silence.

"Are you going to—" I cut her off.

"What I want to tell you could get you killed. If you told other people it could get _them_ killed. I am in danger all the time just from knowing it, so I'm asking your permission to tell you because I need to tell _someone_ ," I said, clasping her hands, forcing her to look into my eyes. She swallowed.

"...Okay," she said. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Are you sure? You need to be absolutely and completely sure—"

"I am sure," Lily squeezed my hands. My eyes flickered open and I saw her eyes. They had the sharpness. The sharpness that came when Lily made up her mind about something. I nodded and lapsed into another short silence. I nodded.

"Okay. Okay..." I ran my fingers through my hair and gripped the roots, glad to feel another pain. "I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix—" Lily gasped and opened her mouth to say something, but I held up a finger to stop her. "I am the youngest member and I hold a very secret, very vital part of what they're doing. It's so specific that for the cover they had to make another branch of the auror office called the Stonewall Project. I am the Keystone of the project. What I do... what the project is, is spying on kids in Hogwarts. I look for kids with connections or positive opinions with You-Know-Who and I write down their names and their target's names and hand them off to Dumbledore.

"I have been attacked many times and we now know You-Know-Who is aware of me. Osumare, the publisher from a while back? She's the one who pawned me that tampered veritaserum. We don't know if she's imperioused or not, we just know she's working with him. We have her in custody actually, um... because I was kidnapped by her last week. I met You-Know-Who so he certainly knows about me and my place in the order. He called me his top-priority-enemy at the moment," I gave a scared laugh and Lily laced her hand with mine. I smiled, trying not to cry. "Half the time I go to the ministry now it's not for Harold, it's for the order. Mad-Eye Moody's been teaching me. I know how to apparate, isn't that cool? And produce a corporeal Patronus.

"I'm just worried. All the names on my list, my _damn_ list hurt to write down. I don't care if they're working for You-Know-Who, they shouldn't be in danger. _He's_ putting them in danger. And—and—" I was choking breaths. I felt Lily's touch between my shoulder blades, rubbing circles. I let out a sob and continued. "Regulus is on the list—the list of targets and I'm so worried because Dumbledore just announced at the last meeting that a kid from Hogwarts has been attending Death Eater meetings and I'm actually worried that it might be Regulus because—" my breath caught. I deflated, calming my pulse, hiccuping my tears into submission. I breathed. "Because I went on an Order mission a few months ago. We were looking for a dark object that we knew You-Know-Who wanted and it turned out to be in the Black household and—" I breathed realizing who I was talking to.

I bit my lip, wondering if telling Lily this was a good idea. She loved him, after all. She gripped my hand and seemed to read my mind.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," she whispered. I swallowed.

"We had to search everywhere, right? And I happened to be one of the ones who had to search his room and... I mean Lily, there were newspaper clippings everywhere, every article that mentioned You-Know-Who or anything supporting him was tacked on his wall. His room was just an explosion of green and silver, which, I understand doesn't necessarily reflect his character, but the clippings. Just seeing all those articles, I _know_ he supports You-Know-Who's opinions, at least partially. It's scary, Lily. I don't want it to be him." My voice cracked.

Lily had stilled and I didn't want to look at her. There was an air of stiffness about her that bit like a shard of ice had pierced my chest.

"I just hate this," I whispered. "I feel like I'm being trained for a war that hasn't really started yet. I imagine myself when this war really starts and I can't visualize it. I see a war stained, tear-stricken, terrified teen because at the rate this is going I'll _still_ be a teenager when this war starts. I am sixteen and helping start a war I want no part of."

Lily squeezed my hand.

I squeezed back.

After my talk, or rather; rant, with Lily I felt a lot better. James certainly noticed.

"You're in a really good mood," he mentioned after Quidditch practice. I had practically been beaming the whole practice, not tiring even a bit. We had already changed and were heading back to the school. I was in love with the outfit I was wearing. Marlene had been going through her stuff and gave me a flowery, knee-length skirt with a bow around the waist that was adorable. I had paired it with a cropped, yellow sweater a bit too big for me that the neck slipped a little further to my shoulder. I had re-done my pony-tail from practice but parted down the middle with strategic strands of hair out to frame my face. I wore my brown oxfords with them. Any excuse I had to wear my brown oxfords I took.

"Yeah, I dunno. I just feel happy," I said, grinning. He smirked back.

"Can I do something then?" he asked, mischievously.

"Depends. What?" I said, scooping down to pick a daisy and stick it behind his ear. He moped and I smiled, kissing him on the nose.

"Well..." he pulled out his wand and waved. "Accio," he said. I curved an eyebrow, eyeing him quizzically. It took a few moments, but I spotted two things zooming toward us from the distance. James caught them and I saw what they were:

A picnic basket and a broom.

"Aww, cute," I said, grinning. He smiled and swung a leg over the broom, looping the basket over the end.

"Wait," I paused. "Where's my broom?"

And then his eyes turned devious.

"Oh, we're just going to be using one broom," he then looped his arm around my waist and lifted me on, taking off before I could protest. Now, I'm a seasoned player. I'm not afraid of heights, turbulence, nothing. But that's when I have control. My breath caught in my throat, and I leaned back. I heard James snickering.

"What's wrong? It's just a broomstick. You were doing fine at practice today," he teased.

"James Potter, do _not_ piss me off," I seethed. "James!" I screeched as he had just taken a shallow nose-dive. He levelled out and was laughing so hard he almost fell off the broom. I clutched the broom in front of me for dear life. "If I don't die, I'll kill you."

"Oh, c'mon. I'm just as good a flier as you," he said, sticking his chin in the crook of my shoulder. I held on tighter. I could feel him smiling. "Don't worry, you're safe with me," he murmured, which would've been sweet had he not immediately done a barrel roll.

"JAMES!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. A flock of birds took off from a tree below us. He was laughing so hard he was shaking the broom. A few more antagonizing minutes later and we touched down in a field of wildflowers in the middle of the forest, far, far away from Hogwarts. I vaulted off the broom and crossed my arms at a very smug-looking James Potter. He ran his fingers through his hair and cocked an eyebrow at me. I harumphed and turned away, staring at the far distance.

I felt him behind me. Then, he was wrapping his arms around me from behind, cooing in my ear.

"Aw, don't fret, Love. Were you really that scared?" I whipped around. He released me, but watched me smugly, hands in his pockets.

"No," I said, shortly, straightening up, chin in the air.

"Right. Of course not," James said. His grin said otherwise, however.

"Oh, you are _insufferable_ ," I hissed and ran at him, tackling him to the ground. And of course, he had the audacity to fold his hands beneath his head and grin up at me with that stupid daisy still in his hair. I lay atop him, straddling him, wagging a finger in his face.

"You are absolutely the most devious, malignant, mischievous, indolent—"

"Perfect, beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful, stunning..." he said, a grin etched on his face.

"Simply the worst," I said, throwing my hands up in the air. He wrapped around my waist and flipped us, so that I was on my back and he was above me, my hands threw over my head, his hand on my stomach.

"You mean the best," he teased, kissing my nose. I sighed.

"Yeah, fine," I admitted. He grinned and leaned down to kiss me again. It was really quite nice. A kiss among the wildflowers. That is until he started tickling me. I shoved his hands away, bringing my knees up in an attempt to protect myself, but his snaking hands were already there.

"Stop it!" I screeched, wriggling, trying to escape his grasp. "I take back every nice thing I just agreed to!" He laughed, leaned down and kissed me again, thankfully stilling his fingertips. I sat up. He twisted around and rested his head in my lap. I tore up little bits of grass and dropped them in his face. He closed his eyes and smiled.

Unable to resist, I leaned down and kissed him. His smile deepened and when I lifted, it took him a moment to open his eyes. He looked dazed.

"Are you going to tell me what's in that basket?" I teased him.

"Oh! Right," he said, bolting up and reaching for it. He looked very proud of himself as he brought out sandwiches, grapes, brownies, and a large bottle of strawberry fizz. I smiled and reached for a sandwich.

It was a very pleasant date. We stayed for a long while, watching the sunset and by that time, I was too sleepy to make a fuss when we took off. It was a far easier flight back. Perhaps it was because James wasn't determined to terrify me this time, or perhaps I was too sleepy to really concentrate on it.

In a short fifteen minutes, we were back at the castle. James snuck us in through all the secret passages, taking every chance he could get to pin me against another wall and administer yet another chaste kiss. We somehow managed to get back, and I bid him goodnight.

It took me a few minutes, but once I entered my dorm and my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, I noticed a note on my bedspread.

_Dear Ms Brooks,_

_please report to my office as soon as you are able._

_Professor Dumbledore._

_PS, weren't we discussing your recipe for Babbling Butterscotch a few weeks ago?_

I raced to seventh floor, skidding to a halt before the dual gargoyles.

"Babbling Butterscotch," I wheezed. They jumped aside and I began the dizzying ascent to Dumbledore's office. I took a moment to catch my breath and then knocked.

"Come in," came the muffled reply. I twisted the large knob and stepped inside, shutting it quickly behind me. I turned an immediately saw someone already here that I did not expect to see.

"Ah, Iris," Dumbledore said, more a formality than in real surprise. "Please sit." I did.

My brain was still trying to run through all the reasons she would be here.

"I'm glad you were able to come, Iris. You see," Dumbledore said, glancing between us both. "You see, Ms Evans here has requested to join the Order of the Phoenix."


	94. Ferried Conviction

My mind went blank.

"Please, take a seat," Dumbledore motioned. Slowly, I moved from my spot and sunk into the seat next to Lily.

"W—why?" I asked, turning to her. She looked slightly uncomfortable. She shrugged.

"I... don't know. Just—hearing you, and the pressure you're under..." She stopped, pursing her lips, contemplating her next words. "It's like you said. When you said that you're sixteen helping start a war you don't want to be apart of. It reverberated inside me. I hate this. I don't like fighting, I don't want to help start a war, but I want to help you. And even more, I want to help these kids being misled."

I nodded, slowly.

"...This just seems really out of character for you," I said, finally. She nodded, vigorously.

"Oh, yes. I just decided that my want to help outweighs my hatred of violence," she smiled, softly. "And this way, you have someone to tell; someone to talk to."

I blinked, suddenly feeling very close to tears. Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"I quite agree with Ms Evans," he said. "Hearing from her what pressure you are under has opened my eyes a bit more; widened my perspective. Sometimes I think I forget just how inexperienced youth are. I don't mean that as an insult, I mean it in the way that there are only specific pressures you have experienced before and most of them probably weren't vast enough to get you killed," he smiled, ruefully. "I also believe I often underestimate the power of friendship. To have someone else to experience the same things you do, to be able to share the burden, is something special.

Friendships are often underestimated in their power, and, unfortunately, I think I forgot that when giving you your position, Iris." He smiled behind his half-moon spectacles. Lily snaked her hand toward mine and clasped them. I squeezed. "I think that giving Ms Evans a position in the Order would be a good idea. I will speak with the rest of the order about this, and I am going to speak with Moody specifically. Perhaps, Iris, you are now experienced enough to teach Lily. That might make training easier, and then we don't have to have a cover for Ms Evans." He smiled, and then he turned specifically toward Lily.

"Ms Evans, while I understand your loyalty to Iris and your valiant yearning for helping others, I do want you to understand exactly what joining this order will mean for you." I saw Lily pale a little bit, but she straightened her posture, meeting Dumbledore's serious gaze. "This is a difficult job, and I understand you are a sensitive, empathetic young girl, which is very admirable but may be a weakness for you in this. We have to fight, battle, duel. Your hatred for violence could very well be a hindrance to you.

"You will experience battles, have to fight for your own life, possibly see others lose theirs. You will have to stay strong. If you join, you are Iris' companion. You will be with her in all situations, protect her, both mentally and physically. You must keep her alive and you must protect those who are being hunted by dark forces; the ones being targeted for their weakness. Are you fully prepared to bear this burden?" he asked, gravely.

Lily straightened, all paleness from her cheeks gone, her voice slightly shaky but still ferrying her conviction.

"I am,"

"I don't think this is a good idea," Aberforth stood up from his chair. "It's bad enough that we've been risking Iris' life for the sake of maybe saving a few school kids, but to throw another one in the mix to me seems like a useless risk."

I squeezed Lily's hand as Aberforth sat back down. Benjy Fenwick stood up, his face unusually grave.

"I believe that perhaps we have over-stepped our boundaries as an order. Ms Evans is seventeen, barely of age. Iris hasn't even done that yet. While she's proven herself worthy and capable, I don't know is risking the life of another youth is necessary." Benjy looked at Lily with a pitying half-smile. He sat down. I turned to look at Lily. Her face was unusually annoyed. Her brows were creased, her lips pursed. She was frustrated.

As the voices at the table began to slowly increase in volume, she squeezed my hand very tight and stood, her shoulders squared, her fingertips pressing into the table. The table silenced seeing her eye. She had a very commanding air about her just then, it shocked me. She didn't speak for a moment, taking the time to run her eyes over everyone at the table.

"While I appreciate your concern," she said, her voice dripping with sharp sarcasm. "I would like to point out that you had no qualms risking Iris' life in the beginning before she had proven herself. You haven't even given me the opportunity to do that," her voice was soft but powerful. It carried weight. The room stayed silent.

"I had to listen to my best friend as she tearfully described her experience being betrayed by someone she trusted. Being poisoned and barely surviving while the people she loved had to watch. She described to me the toll her training and emotional state has taken on her. She described what it has felt like to live a life of lies from the moment her father died. She told me how liberating it felt to finally feel as though she had no more secrets to bear and how it felt to be imprisoned once again.

"She described to me how it felt to be worried for one of her best friends, if he was being taken by the dark side. She had to tell me what it had felt like to be kidnapped by _Voldemort_ ," she spat the name out like vomit, all disgust and accompanied by a vehemence that disturbed the air. I didn't know whether the people at the table flinched from the name or from how she said it. "She has been through hell and back, just to see herself being forced down into its depths once again and forgive me if I believe she might want a companion this time; _Need_ a companion.

"It is true, I am not a particularly violent person. I despise it, any manner of fighting. Because of this, many of you may perceive me as weak or naive. Perhaps I am, compared to some of you in this room. I most likely am, however, I want nothing less than justice. I strive for it and to help a cause determined to eradicate this— _disgusting_ threat skews the scale and the weights. I will sacrifice _everything_ for this cause. For _Iris_ ; for the _Keystone_."

She paused for a moment, staying her power in the room. Then, she ceded it, sitting down once more. The room soaked in the silence, the process of her words still writing themselves in the walls. Dumbledore sat that the far end of the table. He wore a quiet smile, his eyes twinkling.

"It will be put to vote," he said, cutting the silence in the room. "All in favour of inducting Ms Lily Evans into the Order of the Phoenix, raise your hand."

A large majority of the order raised their hands, far over half. They fell and Dumbledore called for opposing votes to raise their hands. Not many, maybe five raised their hands. Lily was in the order.

After the meeting, Alice came up to us and immediately wrapped her arms around Lily. Lily was surprised, awkwardly patting her back. Alice pulled away, a bright smile on her face.

"Moody told me that I'm helping tutor you with Iris," she beamed.

"And me," Frank said, sidling up behind her.

"It'll be us four," Alice smiled. "The dream team."

"Wicked," I said, grinning. "At Hogwarts?"

"Yup," Frank grinned back. "Every Monday, Wednesday, and Sunday. Your Quidditch schedule is pretty hectic." He elbowed me.

"Tell me about it. James is insane," I rolled my eyes. "What's the cover?"

"I'm pretending to be a TA for Professor McGonagall to meet a job requirement," Frank said.

"I'm pretending to TA for Dumbledore," Alice added. I nodded, expressing my pleasure.

"Sounds fun," Lily smiled. "Question; will these lessons be difficult?"

Alice, Frank and I exchanged glances and burst out laughing.

"Having fun?" James called over the music, entering the room and dropping his duffel bag by the door. I looked over at him and nodded as he took his shirt off and began to stretch. I rolled my eyes. Of course, I was just in my sports bra, but I was still allowed to make fun of him.

I hadn't boxed in a while, so I was wearing my gloves over my wraps today, my knuckles not yet re-acclimated to the roughness. The stretch in my shoulders felt really good just then. I pounded the bag to the beat of the song.

It had been a pretty tiring day. I had forgotten I had a potions essay due that day so I had rushed it during lunch. I was just hoping for anything above a P. James began on his usual weights as I moved on to a more improvised strategy. It was nice to get back into this ritual.

Boxing was something that gave me a bit of respite, a way to express my emotions. It was calming and _extremely_ satisfying. I was enjoying the straining feeling in my arms, shoulders, and stomach, all the familiar places. My life felt like a new kind of normal. Dream Team practices were starting next Monday, so I had that to look forward to.

Lily and I had stayed up until two in the morning the night after she was inducting telling each other every secret we knew. I'd never felt so connected to someone. I'd shown her my book and how I used it. She decided to get herself one so we could both have our own lists.

We discussed Regulus in a way we hadn't ever before. We'd ended the night by falling asleep on each other and waking up in a tangled heap.

James had noticed the change in me. It had been a very drastic change after all. We'd spent the whole day with each other yesterday. It was mostly cuddling, him playing with my hair whilst I read. It had been a good day.

The strain in my shoulders had grown so I slowed to a stop, grabbing my water bottle and sitting on one of the benches, watching James. Him, being a dork started doing pull-ups. He underestimated how difficult these were, however, and quickly slowed. I giggled as he struggled to meet fifteen. He dropped and stuck out his tongue at me. I grabbed his water bottle and offered it to him.

He took it gratefully, sitting down beside me.

"Stupid," I said, shaking my head.

"Rude," he said, indignantly.

"You're a show-off."

"So what if I am? Is that a problem?"

"I guess not," I grinned. He elbowed me and finished off the rest of his water bottle.

"Are we done here?" he asked. I pursed my lips.

"Yeah, sure," I said. We grabbed all our stuff and made our way back to the castle. James grabbed my hand and swung them together. I smiled.

Later that night, we were sitting together in front of the warm coals. We were sharing a blanket, wrapped around our shoulders.

"I love you," James murmured in my ear.

"Love you too," I said, leaning into his chest.

"You didn't say I!" James said, indignantly.

"What?" I asked. He leaned over me.

"You didn't say the 'I' before 'I love you'!" he said, pulling me onto his lap. I laughed as he lightly tickled me.

"What do you mean?"

"If you don't say the 'I' before 'I love you' it doesn't mean the same thing," he explained, wrapping his arms around me, kissing my forehead.

"Really?"

"Yes,"

"Alright then; I love you," I said.

"That's better," James nodded. I laughed and shoved him, laying on top of him. James wrapped the blanket around us and his arms around me at the same time. I rested my head on his chest.

And, of course, we fell asleep.


	95. Code-Switching

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," Harold grinned, over his newspaper as I closed the door behind me.

"Same," I agreed, sitting in the chair.

"Any new developments?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. He was, of course, referring to mine and James' relationship. I had told him a while ago, but he still liked bringing it up. I rolled my eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I grinned, grabbing the files he had pushed toward me and flipping through it.

"I dunno. You still like him?" he grinned.

"I put up with him," I joked, standing. "See you in a minute."

My first mission was to send a couple files down to the Beast Division on the fourth floor. I entered the lift and the door closed. A slight jolt and I was on my way. As the number above the door ticked down to, two, three, and four. I waited for the lift to stop, I expected the short lurch to come, but instead, the hand ticked down to five. And then to six. And to seven.

My brow furrowed. This was odd. I watched as the hand slowly ticked down to level nine and then came the jolt. The doors didn't open and behind the grates was darkness. My senses heightened. I dropped the files and whipped out my wand. There was movement beyond the lift doors. Not giving them time to attack, or do whatever they were planning to do, I blasted the repair door in the top of the lift and jumped up with an assisting levitation spell. Below me, inside the lift, the grates were burst through. I glimpsed two figures dressed in complete black enter below me and glance up. I slammed the repair door, gathered my wits, and clenched my wand, preparing for what I was about to do.

I leapt at the wall and pushed off, rebounding off the other wall. I managed to jump from wall to wall, slowly ascending. I prayed I had enough physical and magical strength in me to get to safety. I was halfway to the eighth floor before the repair door was blasted out again and the two figures leapt up to join me. They were wearing silver masks and they stared up at me, before jumping and following.

They were fast. They leapt from wall to wall, gaining on me quickly. I swore and leapt, faster, harder, bouncing from one wall to the other, trying to gain height. In a split second one was close enough and leapt straight for me, latching their crooked arm around mine and landing on the other wall, cracking my head against it. I punched them in the face and they bounded away.

My wand still out, I began shooting spells down the lift shaft at them. They managed to dodge, whirling from wall to wall, returning the favour. I dodged spells and jumped from wall to wall, my joints and muscles screaming from exertion as I neared the eighth floor. I neared the opening, looked down, and leapt to the ledge.

I barely grabbed it. It took me a moment to pull myself up, but once I did, I blasted the protective gates away and turned around, my back facing a shocked crowd of workers. I stood in a defensive stance, my wand clenched in my fist.

The pause seemed too long. A drop of blood from when I cracked my head dripped down my forehead. Silence from the darkness. They appeared out of nowhere, leaping straight at me. The battle began.

I threw spell after spell, dodging, whirling around. These two Death Eaters didn't seem to care about the crowd, not wasting their spells on anyone else. The crowd was stampeding, sprinting away, and I followed them. I didn't want to be abandoned, me against these two. I backed away, retreating and the two death eaters continued their whirled wandwork, still seeming to bounce off the walls.

I was out of breath, but the only thing I was thinking of was survival. The din and noise around me doubled as I entered the Atrium backwards. The two Death Eaters were still pushing me back, forcing me on the defensive. People shrieked and yelled either for calm or for help. I was backed until my heels hit the cement lip of the fountain the centre of the Atrium floor; the Fountain of Magical Brethren. My eyes flashed from mask to mask.

The one to my left stepped forward, a powerful spell blasting me from the tip of their wand. I scrambled backwards over the lip, into the fountain, barely managing to block it as they crept still closer. I barely noticed the water seeping into my shoes, creeping up the hem of my robes, there was only battle. I dodged behind the statue as another spell broke out. The fountain shattered, crumbling into the water.

And then there was three.

They joined me in the fountain, shooting spell after spell my way. Each time I managed to block, but I never got a spell in. They pressed closer. The din from the Atrium was distracting, disorienting, unhelpful to my plight. I carefully watched as the two crept closer and so I spotted something before it happened. I waited, patiently.

The one to my left stepped on a loose piece of gold rock and stumbled. I took this as my chance to shoot a darting spell. They were off balance and fell into the water. I ducked and shot another spell at the companion, taking my advantage, taking the offensive.

I was winning and I was thoroughly enjoying it, though you could not see it in my face. I fought with every ounce of strength still in my body. I knocked my opponents down, taking their wands, leaving them floating, tied to the statue that I repaired. As I stood up straight, the Atrium filled with applause.

I looked up to see the Ministry of Magic thanking me. I spotted a couple of Daily Prophet reporters loitering. Harold rushed toward me, his arms outstretched. As I got out of the fountain, he hugged me, tightly, ignoring my blood and soaked clothes. I was tired.

"Would you look at that; famous again, are you?" James said, tossing the Daily Prophet to me. I glanced at the headline moving photo. It was a picture of me fiercely batting the two Death Eaters in the fountain. The reporters had perfectly captured when the tides had turned and I grabbed the offensive. It looked dangerous and death-defying the way the water sprayed about and the blood dripped from my brow.

I hated it.

I groaned and dropped my head to the table, into my arms. James wrapped an arm around my waist and rested his chin on my bent shoulder.

"Hey, I think it's pretty cool," he said. I sat up.

"I just hate that they're portraying it like I defended the entire Ministry of Magic. I _didn't"_ I said, exasperated.

"I mean..." James said, tilting his head, making it sound like I actually had. I gave him a death glare. He held up his palms, defending himself. "Alright, sorry. It's still pretty cool though. I'm hanging this up next to my bed." He grinned. "My beautiful, vicious girlfriend." He sing-songed.

I smiled a bit.

"You want _me_ to talk to her?" I said, incredulously. Dumbledore nodded.

"It seems like the best course of action," he said. I sighed, grumbled something under my breath and followed him down the stairs to the fourth floor to our holding cell.

It was the first time I'd seen Osumare since I'd brought her here. According to Dumbledore, she'd been completely unresponsive, staring at the wall. As I neared the cell, I gleaned more details. Her hair was dishevelled, she had dark purple bags under her eyes. She looked unkempt.

A dish of uneaten food sat in the corner. I sat down on the stool in front of her cell and watched her. She stared at Dumbledore, unblinkingly.

"Perhaps I should leave," Dumbledore said. I really didn't want him to, but Osumare clearly didn't want him there. He left, retreating upstairs and leaving me alone with a kidnapper. We stared at each other for a few minutes.

"Eating would probably be a good idea," I said, nodding to the food in the corner.

"Probably," she agreed. Her voice was hoarse from unuse. She didn't move toward her food, however.

"Are you going to tell me if you're imperioused or not?" I asked. She shook her head. "So for all I know, I could be talking to You-Know-Who, right? He knows legilimency. I could be talking to him right now," I said, staring into her eyes. She just smiled. "Well, you probably already know this Voldy, but your little trick yesterday didn't work on me. You have no idea what you're doing." I inspected my nails. I looked back at Osumare whose eyes were doing something off. They seemed to be... switching between two expressions. I leaned forward, watching them. She was obviously fighting one of them off, but which one was the one I was trying to talk to, I couldn't tell.

I watched her inner tumult until she bit her tongue so hard it bled and she passed out. My eyes narrowed in annoyance. She'd made herself pass out on purpose. I stood and made my way back up to the first floor, where Dumbledore was waiting.

"I can't tell," I said. "She definitely seemed to be code-switching, but then she passed out so I don't know," Dumbledore sat down across from me. He nodded.

"It's a tactic he's taught them." I nodded, deep in thought. I was emotionally drained. I really didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, but at the same time, I just wanted to be wrapped in someone's arms. I stood, bidding goodbye to Dumbledore. I exited the door and stood in the octagonal courtyard, staring at the darkened sky. I apparated away, landing just on the outskirts of Hogwarts.

I began my slow trek to the front doors. I passed the tree by the black lake, took out my wand and shot behind me, not even sparing a glance. I heard Snape's yell and smirked. As I neared the front of the school, I felt the tell-tale whistle and the red streak passed just by my right ear. I turned around and faced Snape, my face bored.

"You're a terrible aim," I said. He was pointing his wand at me, stoppering his bleeding nose with his sleeve. I smirked.

"The Dark Lord isn't happy," he said.

"Well, neither am I. Goodnight," I said, turning away.

"Don't just walk away fr—!"

"Shut up, Snivellus. Voldy wouldn't send a little schoolboy as his messenger," I called behind me. He was silent as I trudged to the double doors. I only spared him a darting glance. He stood where I'd left him. He was fuming. I smiled and closed the giant door behind me.

I made my trip quick, up to the Gryffindor tower, through the portrait hole, up the boys' stairs and sat on James' bed. The other boys were asleep, but the sliver of light underneath the bathroom door and the faint sound of falling water told me James was showering. I stole over to his trunk and took out one his oversized T-shirts. I stripped and pulled it snugly over my head and collapsed onto his bed.

I fell asleep before he came out, but woke up when he stepped out of the bathroom. The crack of light fell over me and shone through my eyelids but I was too tired to open them. He was pausing, but he flicked off the bathroom light and walked over to his bed. Nimbly, he climbed over my legs and wriggled beneath the blankets. I turned over and pressed my face into his chest. I felt him tense a little, but then he reached an arm over me and pulled me closer.

After a few snuggled minutes, I spoke up.

"I can't breathe," I whispered. He snorted, stifling his laugh.

"Turn around then." I did and he wrapped his arm tighter around my waist and pulled me flush against him. I twisted my head a bit and kissed his other hand and laid my hand back on the pillow. He leaned over and kissed my cheek before falling back again.

He fell asleep before I did. I stayed awake a bit longer, feeling his heartbeat and his breath against my ear, until I too, succumbed to the warmth.


	96. Habits of Nature

"Don't you have your own bed?" Remus asked, an eyebrow cocked, perched on the edge of his bed. I blinked, adjusting to the light. I tried to sit up, but James' arm was wrapped tightly around me. I twisted, attempting to wriggle out, but he held tight.

"James. _James_ ," I said, poking his face.

"Stop it," he mumbled, grabbing my hand.

"Let go," I said, moaned, shoving him. He grinned and finally let go, letting me sit up. Remus was still looking at me with that suggestive look. I narrowed my eyes at him and huffed, standing up and grabbing my clothes from the day before. I evicted Sirius from the bathroom, changed, gave James his shirt back, and left the room, heading back up to my dorm. The girls were awake.

"Sleeping with James again?" Marlene winked. I groaned.

"Yes, but not in the way you're insinuating,"

I grabbed new clothes from my trunk and changed, entering the bathroom and combing my hair.

"It didn't work last time," I said, grovelling. Dumbledore looked at me with kind eyes. Harold with regretful ones. Moody with harsh ones.

"Actually, it did. It was when we let you out of safety again that you got kidnapped," Moody said, his one mechanical eye whizzing about without a care in the world.

"What if I say no?" I said, tightening my crossed arms.

"Then I'll fire you," Harold said with no hesitation.

"I wouldn't care,"

"You wouldn't? Do you really think you could afford that? Live like that?" he said, a sad smile on his lips.

"I have before,"

That shut everyone up for a moment or so.

"Iris, this is for your protection," Dumbledore said, breaking the silence.

"I don't need your bloody protection," I said, simply. "Where was your protection when I was battling two Death Eaters by myself, jumping up the walls of an elevator shaft? Where was that protection when I was kidnapped by You-Know-Who? Who saved me from poisoning? Perhaps it was your teaching that trained me, but it was by my own mind that I was saved.

"I can survive without any of you. I've proven that many times over."

No one spoke.

"I am not going to hole up, hide myself as I've done before. I'm tired of that and if he's so determined, that won't stop him. I've got my friends, I've my mind and my training and I refuse to die. What more do I need?"

"Alright, this is a really hard spell. I wouldn't be surprised if you don't get it—"

"If you got it, I'll get it," Lily said, confidently.

"Yeah, I know," I grinned. "But even so. Even Moody can't do it,"

"Neither of us can," Frank spoke up, gesturing to him and Alice.

"Just focus on a really, really happy memory. You need to focus on it, take yourself back to the moment." She nodded, closed her eyes, and screwed up her eyebrows. Her knuckled tinged white, clutching her wand. I stood quietly, patiently.

"Expecto Patronum!" she yelled, focusing her power, eyes fixed on the end of her wand. The tiniest jet of silver light strung from the wand and poofed out in a few seconds. She breathed, panted. I could see a bit of sweat beading on her forehead.

"Here, drink," I said, handing her a water bottle. She took a deep drought and gasped. "I told you; it takes a lot of energy."

"I'll get it," she said, determined.

"Fine. One more time and then you need sleep," I said.

"We're just trying it twice?"

"This is your first time trying it. Any more and you'll pass out," I said, grinning. She nodded and after she had regained a bit more strength, she drew herself up and began gathering her focus. I watched her brows draw together. I watched her tense up and—

"Expecto Patronum!" she yelled. A large glow, far wispier than before, burst from the tip and fizzled out in less than a second. She promptly sat on the ground. I handed her the water bottle again and she finished it off. "This is hard."

I burst out laughing.

"I need to talk to you," said a nasal voice to my left.

"Why?" I asked Snape. He didn't answer. I turned and saw he had his two minions with him. I stood, my arms folded, my chin jutted. "Why?" He smiled, the corners turned up, but his eyes not returning the favour.

"Why don't you come with me and see?" and with that, he turned and marched out of the room. I watched after him, an eyebrow raised, unimpressed. I sat back down and returned to my book. A few moments later I felt the lurk of him behind me.

"Why didn't you come?" Snape said, irritated.

"Because you're being unnecessarily dramatic," I said, turning to him. He looked angry. How unprofessional.

"What can I say that'll make you follow me?" he asked, huffing.

"Nothing," I said. "Sit down for Merlin's sake, no one's in here. No one's ever in the library, this is probably the most private place you can get. No one will think it's weird if you're whispering."

Snape opened his mouth to retort, considered what I had said, shut his mouth, and sat down in the chair next to me.

"I know you're in the Order of the Phoenix," he said. I flipped a page in my book, unimpressed.

"And I know how you're not a Death Eater yet, you're just doing his bidding to 'prove yourself' or whatever." It seemed I had struck a chord. He pretended to ignore this.

"I also know that you haven't listened to us on the topic of Regulus Black,"

"Yeah, I told you I wasn't going to. I thought I was pretty blatant," I said, pursing my lips.

"I know you keep a list of all the suspected Death Eaters and their targets," he said.

"Yeah, I know. None of what you're saying to me is a surprise. I _know_ you know this," I said, irritated. "Are you trying to intimidate me, because you're wasting your time."

"I just wanted you to know that you ought to watch your back," he said, a warning in his tone. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I have been, prick, but not from unseasoned tryouts like yourself. I've got bigger enemies than you, Snivellus, so it might do you some good to just let me have my way. Go bully James or something, his arrogance could stand to be knocked down a couple of pegs." And with that, I stood, grabbed my book, and marched out, leaving Snape to stew.

"It's been a crazy few weeks," Regulus said, laying back on the floor. I had joined him and Lily for lunch again, missing his company.

"Tell me about it, three essays and a project in this week alone," I groaned. Lily laughed.

"Oh, you two are such whiners. I know for a fact you both have them done already,"

"Yeah, but it's the principle! I don't _want_ to write three essays and complete a project in a week," I griped, poking her knee. She batted me away. Regulus sat up and rested his chin on Lily's shoulder. She laughed, patting his head.

"He's like a dog, I swear," she said, pretending like he wasn't there.

"So, loyal," I said nodding. She laughed.

"Let's hope so," she said, poking his nose. He grinned and gave her a quick peck. He began picking up our plates.

"I can take these," he offered.

"Aw, a gentleman too," I teased. He grinned, winking and pushed the door open, closing it with his foot. Lily and I looked at each other. I knew she had been struggling with the fact that the new recruit for You-Know-Who might be Regulus.

"How likely is it, do you think?" She asked, biting her lip.

"Much lower than it could be," I said, trying to be reassuring. "All we know is that it's someone new and they aren't even a member yet, they just went to a meeting. Even if that is him, it might've been a one-time thing. We don't know if they've been continuing to go to meetings, we just know about the one time. You don't need to worry. Just be there for him," I said. It sounded like it was rehearsed. Which it was, a little bit. Those points are what I've been reassuring myself with for the past few months.

We sat silently.

The door opened again and revealed a grinning regulus. I stood.

"I was just heading to the library," I said, hugging him. "Catch you two later." They waved goodbye and I shut the door behind me.

I really didn't want Lily to be worried. There wasn't anything to be worried _about_ yet. I was worried though, and she could tell. I made my way through the halls, tired. I stopped in front of a large, ledged window. I sat down and curled myself up, staring at the grounds beneath me. There were a few kids walking around, thin jackets on. It was a nice early spring weather out. I relaxed, released my body of its tension.

I hadn't done that in a while. My fidgeting fingers stilled, my muscles eased, falling to a soft state. I let my brows fall to their normal, relaxed, unbunched position, feeling a bit of my headache go away as I did so. I was relaxed, something I hadn't been since I'd been kidnapped. I let my lids fall and felt the cool glass against my forehead.

"What _are_ you doing, Miss Brooks?" A sharp, inquiring voice sounded to my left. I jolted straight, turning to a rather toned-down Professor McGonagall. She was holding a steaming cup of tea in her right hand and a messy stack of papers in her left arm. Her normally tight-pulled bun seemed a bit more... casual. She wasn't wearing her hat. I jumped from the ledge and stood in front of her, awkwardly.

"Er, relaxing, professor," I stammered. Her eyes narrowed, but her lips softened.

"Come with me," she said. She didn't say it like I was in trouble, but I felt a bit nervous all the same.

"What did Dumbledore say in his little 'intervention'?" she asked, moving to the left to let me walk by her side. I blinked.

"He... wanted me to go back into hiding. Not go to work, not go to meetings, that kind of thing."

"Stupid," she remarked, sipping her tea. I blinked and hid my surprise with a tiny cough. We reached her office and she walked through, motioning for me to close the door. I did so and sat down in the chair in front of her desk. She was pouring another cup of tea.

"Sugar? Cream?" she asked.

"Sugar, please," I said. She nodded and handed it to me, sitting down. "Thank you."

"Of course," she said, sipping. I began the slow, gentle process of blowing the surface of my own. "What did you tell him?"

"About the going-into-hiding thing?" she nodded. "That I thought it was pointless. If he's really so keen to get ahold of me, staying on Hogwarts grounds isn't going to perturb him."

"Good," McGonagall said, approvingly. "What else?" I blinked.

"I pointed out that I've fought Death Eaters and You-Know-Who multiple times alone, without their protection. I said that I couldn't have without their training, but that it was my own mind and sense of self-preservation that kept me alive."

"Oh, that's good. I'll bet Alastor wasn't too pleased," she smiled.

"He certainly didn't look it," I smiled back. I was in McGonagall's office, talking to her as an equal, and I wasn't tense at all. What a concept. I took a tentative sip of tea.

"How are you?" she asked. I carefully set my cup down.

"Mostly fine. I mean, there's the fact that I know I'm being hunted down by You-Know-Who which is terrifying, but I think I've grown numb to that fear. I'm scared one of my best friends is a Death Eater. I'm scared I've sentenced another one of my friends to certain death. I'm scared that I'm not worth enough to the people I love. That I don't deserve how much they love me." My fingers shook as they slowly brought my cup to my lips. I sipped.

"You're an intelligent young lady," McGonagall said, sitting forward. "Surely, you know you needn't be worried about these things."

"Oh, that's the worst of it. I know I'm overreacting and I think it's causing me to invalidate the fears that actually matter and the ones that I can fix." McGonagall surveyed me over her half-moon glasses. She sat back in her chair.

"All natural feelings," she said. I looked up.

"Really?" I said, grasping at hope.

"Almost certainly. You are experiencing a level of stress in a frequency you are not yet used to, at a very young, immature age. You aren't ready. But you will be, with time." she gazed at me. "Which is something I'm sure you're sick of hearing by now."

"A bit," I sighed.

"Yes. Also, normal," she nodded. We sat in warm silence for a bit. "Come in next Tuesday, I'd like to make this a habit." She smiled. I blinked, feeling my chest fill.

"I'd like that as well."


	97. A Game of Chess

The meetings with McGonagall continued and were thankfully very helpful. We became very close and soon our meetups continued outside of her office. In walks around the Hogwarts halls, visiting other teachers. I slowly became closer to the other members of the staff, especially those of whom were members of the order.

I was sort of her helper which became my respite from other responsibilities. I was her unofficial Teacher's assistant which came with perks and also some wild stories.

The year whizzed by quickly. Dumbledore finally conceded and allowed me to do as I wished, not keeping me from work. Regulus and Lily grew steadily closer and we continued to gather evidence on students. James and I were still the 'cute thing' of the school but thankfully a lot of the hubbub had died down. It was nearing the end of the year and the only thing that irked me was Snape.

I wasn't concerned about him, he was certainly no threat to me, however, whenever I saw him he always muttered something new. Something he had found out about me, my personal life. Things he shouldn't know. I didn't care that he knew these things, but the idea that he _did_ know these things and that I didn't know _how_ he knew these things put me off-guard.

I knew You-Know-Who was taunting me using his pawns, but he wasn't the only one who knew how to play chess.

We still had Osumare in custody and we'd slowly been figuring out a few things, but they were small and unassuming. They weren't really things of use. We still couldn't figure out if she was Imperioused or not, but we had her and we knew this was a blow to You-Know-Who's plans.

There was a week before school ended and tonight was the end-of-school party. Held in the Hufflepuff common room because they were connected to the kitchens and everyone was always welcome. I was dressing for it. It wasn't formal, but I wanted to look nice. I was wearing a nice pair of jeans embroidered with roses and a yellow, long sleeve shirt that just said DAMN.

Last-minute, I decided to pull my hair into two galaxy buns and Lily offered her rose stud earrings to match the jeans. James and the rest of the Marauders had said they'd meet us at the party. Lily, Mary, Marlene and I reached the Hufflepuff commons in no time. When we got in, a large party was already raging. I spotted James near the back near the snack tables and I made my way over.

"Hey!" I called over the music. He spotted my shirt and laughed, wrapping an arm around me.

"Accurate," James grinned.

"It's a great shirt," I quirking an eyebrow. "Shall we?" I lead him out to the dance floor.

It felt like the music never ended. James grabbed my hand and never let go. We danced the whole night. We kissed a lot.

It was a long, fun, night. James bid me goodnight once it reached about midnight with a wink.

"Who are you pranking?" I asked, but he just grinned and ran out accompanied by a sugar-high Sirius, a begrudgingly responsible Remus, and a half-asleep Peter. Lily was asleep with Regulus, curled up in one of the couches. There was still a large party going on, but James had wanted to leave when no one would notice.

A slow song came on and I inched out to the sidelines, not wanting to get in the way of the couples, but someone grabbed my hand. I turned to see a cute guy complete with dark curly hair, freckles, and devilish blue eyes.

"...Hi," I said.

"Hello," he said, smoothly. "Care to dance?" After a moment of hesitance, I agreed. James wasn't the jealous type, he'd understand I was just being courteous. The boy swiftly grasped my right hand and rested his other in the small of my back. I rested one hand on his shoulder and he guided me deeper into the dance floor.

I didn't recognize him. I had no idea what house he was in until I spotted a little silver crest embroidered on his green shirt. A snake.

So, he was a Slytherin. _Why_ didn't I recognize him? He certainly recognized me, then again, so did the entire school at this point.

"My name's Adriel," he said.

"Adriel? That's a really interesting name," I said, enthusiastically. He smiled and swung me around. He was a very smooth dancer and moved on the tips of his toes, guiding me flawlessly.

"I'd like to give you a warning,"

"Another one?" I sighed, my limbs stiffening. His smile widened. I suddenly felt a little too close even though he hadn't pulled me closer. His eyes were a little too bright. His movements a little too smooth.

"Yes."

He didn't speak. I raised an eyebrow.

"And what is the warning?" I asked, slowly as we spun in the middle of the dancing couples.

"Oh. I _am_ the warning," he said lightly and just like that he slipped away. Immediately, I was on guard, my wand was in my hand. I could feel the darkness seeping into the room. I felt it easing into the cracks, tangling.

"Protego totalum!" I shouted just as a blast rocked the entire room, coming from the hallway just outside. As screaming and shouts began, I forced my way through the room into the passage to the vinegar barrels guarding the entryway. They'd been blasted apart and I ran through the rubble, a streak of green shot past my head, I ducked behind a wall. In a split second, Lily was by my side.

"Boy, he's wearing a green shirt, tall, dark curly hair, freckles, bright blue eyes. He moved unnaturally smooth,"

"Veela?" she whispered.

"Maybe part," I said. "He's nowhere near blonde." I peeked around the corner and shot a spell. I saw his figure retreating at the end of the hall, sprinting. I gave chase, a determined Lily just behind me. We rounded the corner and ducked down just as five more spells shot past us.

"More people?" Lily asked alarmed. I peeked.

"No," I said, awe-struck. We continued our sprint. He managed to make it out the double-door and out to the grounds. Lily and I were still in attack mode, but he stood there, fifty feet away, hands in his pockets, impeccably calm.

I stood straight, my wand pointed and Lily just behind me, ready to take on any spells I couldn't see. Usual wizard-duel style. He just stood there.

The way he stood. The terrible straightness of it, the stiff charge, yet the loose and lazy air about him dug into my chest, reminding me of someone else, someone very dangerous.

"Lily," I breathed. "I know who this is."

"Who?" She asked, but before I could answer, he lifted up his wand aimed straight for me.

"Pleasant night isn't it?" he was quiet and yet the wind carried his voice so naturally. I could hear every word. I didn't trust myself to speak. The lights of the castle windows flickered behind us. I wondered if anyone was watching. Could Dumbledore see this duel unfolding from his tower window?

I shot a spell. He flicked his wand and the spell disappeared from the night air. And then it was on. One spell after the other, we were dancing around each other, anticipating every move. I wanted to make him sweat, make him stumble, something to show his imperfection but every move, every spell was flawless.

"What do you want from me?" I scream ripped from my chest, tore my throat. And just like that, a jet, a cloud of ink-like smoke hit my chest and in that second I was no longer conscious.

I knew I was in a dream. There he was, standing in front of me. You-Know-Who. I couldn't speak, but he didn't seem too keen on speaking himself. He stepped closer and with every step he grew years younger until he stood in front of me, young enough to be in his school years, and wouldn't you know it? He could've been the brother to Adriel.

They looked different enough that I knew they weren't, but I understood what You-Know-Who had done. He'd selected someone to look and act similarly to him to put me off, to make me sweat, to make me stumble and make a mistake. This younger You-Know-Who took my hand and wrapped an arm around me the way Adriel had.

I still found myself unable to speak, but he didn't make any move to either. A faint aria was singing in the distance. It was sweet, but as we rotated it grew darker, ominous. A ticking clock kept time.

I hated this. There was no point. It was just You-Know-Who proving to me I was never safe.

The music didn't fade and neither did the image, but I heard a voice coming vaguely from my right.

"It was like a jet, it went straight through her chest..." it faded away. I fell deeper into the dance.

I finally woke up seven days later in a glistening white room, a hospital.

It was the first day of Summer break and I was stuck in St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.


	98. The Pangs

It was funny just how useless I felt in that little, polished room. Dumbledore, Moody, and Harold were all convinced I needed protection until I pointed out to them that their so-called 'protection' couldn't be more powerful than Hogwarts, which had just been infiltrated. On the inside, I felt that if they could infiltrate Hogwarts there was no point giving me protection anyway because they could just workaround in.

They stopped bothering me after that.

On the other hand, I had quite a few visitors every morning. I was scheduled to be here for a week, but one of the healers had told me I could probably go home in five. I had been thus visited by Alice, Frank, Lily, Mary, Marlene, James, Regulus, Sirius, Remus, the Prewett twins, and their older sister whom I had never met before, Molly. Mrs McGonagall hadn't visited but had written a few letters, and of course, plenty of visits from the three aforementioned hell-bringers.

Today, carried a new visitor, a new face. It was someone I really had not expected to see.

"Scarlet," I said, nodding and she entered the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

"Hello, Iris," she spoke silkily. She took a seat beside my bed and grasped my hand. A tingle shot through my fingers. I shook it off.

"What brings you here to visit me? Looking for someone else?" I raised an eyebrow. Her dark lips curled into a soft smile.

"No, actually. I want to talk to you."

"Well, there's not much else I can do right now," I said. She gave a small laugh. She paused, thinking, stringing the perfect words together.

"I'm in a bit of a predicament, Iris," she gazed at me, but I kept silent. "I fancy someone and it's not who everyone expects." Her fingers crawled up my wrist, clinging more desperately. "I think if I tried to say who, I'd die. I know if I told my parents they'd disown me and leave me penniless, throw all my belongings onto the streets. What friends I have would turn their backs on me, and the worst of it is I don't even know if they fancy me back."

I blinked, taking in her words and her expression. She was sincere but her face was masked.

"And you're coming to me for help?" I asked.

"You're the only one who knows who," she whispered. I nodded, slowly, looking into her eyes.

"Have you thought about talking to Sirius about all of this?" I asked.

"Oh, I have. That's all we talk about. He doesn't know who though. Everyone thinks we're together, and we were for a while, but then we both realized... he told me to come to you." I blinked.

"He did, did he?" I paused. "I wouldn't know why. All I told him was to flirt more because his crush is particularly oblivious."

"He just said you're a rational thinker," she said. "Good to talk to."

"Yeah, I'll agree with that."

It was my last day in the hospital and James was here being chaotic as usual.

"Yeah, but what about centaurs?" I asked.

"Eight," he said immediately.

"Eight nipples?"

"Yeah, the two man ones, and then the six from the horse,"

"Horses only have two,"

"What? No..."

"Horses only have two nipples."

"Okay, then centaurs only have four nipples,"

"What on earth are you two talking about?" asked the healer, coming in. I laughed.

"Things,"

"Nipples," we spoke over each other and I shot James a look. The healer raised an eyebrow.

"Alrighty, well I'm here to just check up on you a see how you're doing," she smiled and pulled out her wand, motioning for James to move off the bed. She gently waved the wand over me. I felt a wave of warmth, like I was being sunk into a warm bath and then it was gone. She scribbled a few things on her clipboard and nodded.

"Well, it looks like you're free to go," she said with a smile. I blinked.

"Wait, really?" I asked. She nodded, smiling.

"If you'll get changed and come down with me, we can have your paperwork ready."

I nodded and sat up, throwing the blankets off me and standing for the first time in too long. I almost tripped and James grabbed my arm, steadying me. Once the blood in my legs began circulating I was able to step to the small closet in the corner and grabbed the clothes I had been brought in. They were the ones from the dance, so they probably didn't smell too great, but they were all I had for now.

"Oh, wait," I said, furrowing my brow. "I already told Marta to stay for... two more days." James shrugged.

"You can stay with us," he winked. I raised an eyebrow.

"If I must," I sighed, but it turned into a grin. "Now leave, so I can change." He grinned and left the room. The healer helped me undo my hospital garments and I quickly changed into civilian attire. We stepped out, joined James and followed the healer to the level desk where she had me sign a bit of paperwork and we were off.

"Here, hold onto me," James said, wrapping his arm around me. Oh, right. I had forgotten he had passed his apparition test this last April.

"I know how to—" but I was cut off. The slight sensation of being squeezed through a rubber hose encased me on all sides. When my breath neared it's cut-off we arrived, landing softly on the Potter's grounds.

"What were you saying?" James asked, taking in a deep breath. Hah. Amateur.

"Oh, nothing," I said, catching my slip-up.

"Bet you're just mad you don't have your license yet. Sucks to have a Summer birthday," he teased, poking me.

"Doesn't change the fact that I'm better than you," I grinned. He laughed and pulled me closer, kissing me. We walked up the path, hand in hand up to the front door. I had never really seen the grounds of the Potter manor, nor the outside as most of the time I had arrived by floo powder and also, it was winter. The sprawling grounds of the potter manor were vast and rolling. Trees lined the boundaries and two gardens lay at the side full to bursting with many assorted growings. Fruit trees grew right behind them.

It was beautiful, and yet, I couldn't help but feel a pang of... antithesis. Like I didn't belong in this scene. I stopped, staring, looking at all the details I had never been able to see before. It wasn't a palace by any means and could hardly be called a mansion, but it was the kind of thing I couldn't ever dare even dream about. This was the height of luxury, product of a father with a sprawling business sold for a large profit.

James hadn't stopped with me, stumbling to a halt and re-joining my side. He wrapped an arm around me.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He grinned, looking up at the prettiness of it all. I hugged my arms over my chest. He turned. "What's wrong?" I swallowed and shook my head.

"I dunno. I dunno." I said, laughing. His eyebrows creased. Silence fell between us. "We've had very different lives, haven't we?"

"Neither one of us the better because of it," he said, a sad, concerned frown accompanying it.

"Yeah, well," I said, empty. James took my hand and we walked together to the front of his house. We went in.

"Hello?" came a call from the kitchen.

"Hey, dad!" James yelled after.

"Oh, back so soon? I thought you'd be longer with the girl— oh, you've brought her with you." Fleamont Potter grinned, coming round the corner. "How're you doing, darling?"

"Really well. Much better than last week," I smiled. He guffawed and hugged me.

"Iris! Oh, splendid, how long are you staying?" Euphemia asked, popping in, hugging me too.

"Oh, I don't know. A couple of days," I said, grinning.

"Let's hope a little bit longer," she said, pinching my cheek. They seemed to leave just as quickly as they had come, leaving us to our minds. I raised an eyebrow.

"Whew," I said, grinning.

"They really like you," James said, a bit of a blush on his cheeks. I pinched them, laughing.

"Well, they should, I'm great," I grinned and took to the stairs, James right behind. "Where's Sirius?" I asked when we got to James' bedroom.

"Oh, he's out looking for available flats," James said, nodding, flopping onto his bed and leaning against the wall. I flopped down beside him.

"Really?" I asked, creasing my brow.

"Yeah, his uncle Alphard or something just died and he inherited a lot of money. Sirius said he's probably been 'posthumously disowned' for that, but ah well," James shrugged.

"That's good, that's good. Where's he looking?"

"Everywhere. He's hoping for one in Hogsmeade actually, but that's not very likely,"

"Pretty convenient though," I said.

"Yeah,"

We were silent for a while, laying against each other, thinking. I was about to drift off to sleep when James spoke up again.

"Why are so many people after you?" he asked.

"Whaddya mean?" I asked. He sat up.

"I mean you've been attacked a lot this year. I mean, those two guys who attacked you at the ministry, that guy who somehow infiltrated Hogwarts, I mean, what's happening? You haven't been saying anything controversial in the news," his eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't know," I said, tired. "Maybe they want me for leverage against Harold?"

"You should get bodyguards or something. What's up with that, why won't Harold give you protection?" James said, getting indignant. I put a hand to his chest.

"He's tried. I keep refusing," James looked at me like I was insane.

"Are you insane? Why?"

"Well—" I said, also getting indignant, trying to explain myself. "I spend most of my time at Hogwarts, which is the safest place in the world and I felt pretty safe."

"But you aren't at Hogwarts anymore. You need real protection," James said, concerned. He was standing, pacing, gesticulating.

"I have so many spells around my house you couldn't count them using your fingers _and_ your toes," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Doesn't matter," James said. "You could get hurt."

"I've already gotten hurt—"

"EXACTLY," James said, angry. I stared at him.

"Don't raise your voice—"

"I WILL RAISE MY VOICE, THESE PEOPLE ARE HERE TO KEEP YOU SAFE AND THEY ARE FAILING!" he looked scary right then, staring at me, indignation and anger in his eyes. I raised a hand, unconsciously. He stopped and looked. My arm was shaking. I dropped it, holding it tight in my lap. "Sorry. I am so sorry."

"No, no. It's okay. You weren't angry at _me_ ,"

"That doesn't excuse it. I'm sorry," he looked at me pleadingly. I stood and wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight. I felt his body ease and he wrapped his arms around my waist. "That was stupid of me, that wasn't okay—"

"I forgive you, James." He stopped and clutched me tighter.

After that little bout, James and I hashed it out a bit more and we found we were on agreeing terms, and as two dating teenagers normally do when unaccompanied and alone in a room, we were making out when Sirius walked in, turned, and walked right back out. I jumped off James and attempted to fix my hair. James adjusted his glasses. Sirius cracked the door open again.

"Is it safe?" he asked.

"Yeah," James said, ruffled.

"Greeeeat," Sirius said, slipping in. I was sure my face was beet red and by the looks of James' mine must've been. Sirius sat down on the bed next to me. Silence.

"How was flat scouting?" I asked, shattering the quiet.

"Oh, it was great!" Sirius said with a little too much enthusiasm. "I've found a place in Wimbourne I think will suit me nicely. Can't move in until October though,"

"My parents will be all too pleased to let you stay longer," James grinned, high-fiving his best friend.

"Supper!" the voice of Mrs Potter. Sirius stood, rubbing his hands, and waltzed out the door. I raised my eyebrows at James who coughed, giving me a wide-eyed look. I giggled and grabbed his hand, pulling him up from his chair.

"Oh, Mrs Potter! You'll never guess what I caught Iris and James doing!" Sirius' voice called out over the staircase. Our eyes widened and we scrambled out the door.

I had been situated in the Potter's second-best guest room and Sirius was very keen to remind me. It was quaint. There was a bookshelf in the corner and a desk by the window. Little blue and yellow flowers patterned the wallpaper and there was a soft blue rug on the floor. Mrs Potter had been too kind and was letting me borrow some pyjama bottoms, but I was wearing one of James' t-shirts. It was much too big for me, but it smelled like him. Vaguely of broomstick wood and a lot like ink and tea with something else I could only tally up to whatever his shampoo smelled like.

I laid in bed, thinking a while before I finally fell asleep.

It was short sleep. I awoke in a sweat to the noise of my own quiet scream. I jolted up, my heart racing, my eyes inspecting the shadows for something that wasn't there. I took a moment to cease my ragged breaths and regain a pattern. I swallowed and listened to the silence. This blanket carried no weight. I needed to feel something.

Understanding the pangs of touch-starvation, I steeled my mind and tip-toed out of the room. I walked along the hall to James' room and slipped in, closing the door behind me. His room was darker than mine and my eyes adjusted a bit.

"Mm? Iris, is that you?" James' whispered voice came from the lump of blankets on the bed. He lifted up the edge of his blanket. I walked over and slipped underneath the blankets, pressed against him. He let the blanket fall and rested his arm around me.

"Sorry, I had a nightmare..."

"Shh, " he whispered. "You're fine, you're safe now."

I smiled, kissed his nose, and carried off to sleep.


	99. Melodic

"Merlin, do I have to knock everywhere I go, now?" Sirius yelped, closing the door before even stepping in. I rolled away from James, running a hand through my currently fly-away hair. James looked miffed.

"I might start asking you to," he grumbled, tearing off the bedsheets and pulling open the door open to reveal an exasperated Sirius.

"Breakfast is ready if you two aren't too busy," he winked at me over James' shoulder. I snorted, sitting up and dangling my legs off the bed.

"We'll be down in a mo'," James said, shutting the door in Sirius' face.

"You'd better be!" came the muffled yell and the sound of footsteps descending stairs. James huffed and walked up to me, sighing and collapsing onto me, dramatically.

"James! You're crushing me!" I laughed, trying to shove him off, but he was going limp. 

"Shh, I'm trying to sleep," he shut his eyes.

"Oh, I wish you were ticklish," I grumbled. He cracked open one eye.

"Too bad,"

"James. I want breakfast,"

"You'll _get_ breakfast,"

"I want breakfast _now_ ,"

He laughed and got off me. I huffed and pretended to dust myself off, sticking my nose in the air and exiting the room. James laughed and followed, wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Finally!" Sirius announced as we walked in.

"Good to see you two up," Mrs Potter remarked handing us plates of a fry-up breakfast. Eggs, sausages, fried tomatoes, and toast. We devoured it.

"James! Hows about we get to gardening today? I'm gonna need help weeding—"

"Aww, not today dad—" bemoaned James.

"Gardening?" I perked up. Mr Potter noticed and his eye twinkled.

"Oh, yes. I've got to get my carrots and radishes in now so they'll be ready by the first frost. And, I want to see how my summer squash is doing,"

"Sounds fun! I'd love to help," I grinned. Mr Potter laughed.

"Perfect! I've got some extra gloves in the garden shed," he grinned. "Looks like I've found someone else who actually enjoys gardening." He winked at James who stuck out his tongue.

"You can borrow a pair of my old overalls," Mrs Potter nodded to me.

"Thanks," I smiled. The generosity of this family never fails.

"What fertilizer do you use?" I asked, crouched among the green beans with a basket. It was slow work picking, but I found it satisfying.

"Dragon dung and I've found a dealer that can get it cheap," he whispered as though the very trees were listening on gardening secrets.

"Dragon dung? Isn't that supposed to be expensive? I use lizard," I said, but he shook his head.

"Tell me three knuts isn't cheap." My jaw dropped.

"No way, three knuts?"

"Three knuts," he grinned. "Go to Orwell's Tool & Seed Shoppe and tell 'em Fleamont Potter sent you."

"What are you two doing, trading M16 gardening secrets?" James laughed to himself from the porch sitting in a deck chair.

"Is he wearing a sun hat?" I muttered to Mr Potter.

"Oh, you get used to it. He's a snobby little brat," Mr Potter grinned. I laughed out loud.

"No, you idiot, they're talking about you," said Sirius, also wearing a sun hat. Mrs Potter walked by a swatted him with her newspaper. She set down a pitcher of lemonade and several cups.

"Why don't you two come out of the sun for a bit? Come get a drink," Mrs Potter called. Standing took some effort as I had been crouching for a while. My legs were stiff. I gave Mr Potter a hand getting up. I swear I heard him creak.

"Thanks, darling," he smiled, patting my hand. We made our way over and quickly grabbed glasses. James offered me his chair, but I refused. I didn't want to give my knees a chance to seize.

"You coming to help?" Mr Potter asked Mrs Potter. She was wearing another pair of worn-out-overalls.

"I can't let you two have all the fun," she smiled. James and Sirius snorted into their cups of lemonade. I swatted Sirius and Mrs Potter swatted James. Mr Potter laughed.

"Forgive me for asking," I spoke to Mrs Potter, "but don't houses this large normally come with house-elves? Why do you two do all the upkeep?" Mrs Potter smiled.

"Oh, we had a house-elf. She'd been in the family for years, even before Fleamont was born and we had her for a long time before she passed away. James was heartbroken, he was only about thirteen. The timing worked remarkably well, however. Fleamont had just sold the company and James was gone for most of the year. We had to keep ourselves busy so as not to go crazy and we decided not to get a new one. She was very useful in our younger years when we were busy with our lives."

"Oh?" I said, trying to imagine them young, in love, living the upper-class life.

"Yes, yes. When we were young we threw parties every month, with food, music, fancy dresses, formal dinners, it was just what you did when you had a house like this. It was how Fleamont got business deals done and how he announced new, exciting products. It was how I kept up with old friends. It was great while we were young. I loved throwing them when James was little, I could show him off. He was quite the ladies man even when he was three. But, we got old, life became a little slower, so we stopped. I've offered to throw a few for James, it's how families like us get their kids married off, but he never seemed interested. Probably because of you," she smiled.

"Me?"

"Oh, yes you. He wasn't interested in dancing with other girls, even if he knew it would make us happy. He's very one-track minded, James. Has he ever shown you the ballroom?"

"The ballroom?" I gaped.

"Naturally, that's where all the dancing happened," she laughed. "it's really quite beautiful. It has a piano— oh!" she gasped.

"What?" I asked, my heart jumping.

"I'll bet I still have a bunch of my old ballgowns, would you like to try them on?" I blinked.

"Ye—yeah! Oh wow, yes," I stammered out.

"Alright, once we finish with these peas you can pop inside for a shower and I can show you." She looked just as excited as I felt.

"Okay!" I said, still a bit flabbergasted. She shifted over a bit and I heard her mutter to Mr Potter.

"Oh, James is going to die," she whispered, gleefully. Mr Potter laughed under his breath. I blushed, ducking my head down into the peas.

After a quick shower and a quick hair-dry, James and Sirius showed me to the ballroom where Mr and Mrs Potter were already waiting, pulling open curtains, letting the afternoon light stream in. My jaw dropped.

As far as ballrooms go, I supposed it was rather small, but I had never seen anything like it. Lacings of gold paint edged the doors and the ceiling. Magnificent paintings hung, huge and contained in boastful frames. The ceiling was beautiful, painted in intricate patterns. The floor was marble tiling, still waxed and shiny. I was at a loss for words.

"My ballroom's bigger," Sirius pretended to sneer, earning an elbow from James.

"Your _old_ ballroom,"

"Oh yeah, thank Merlin,"

"Shut up you pompous prats," I said, twirling, gazing at the ceiling in awe. Mrs Potter grabbed my hand, pulling me toward a door.

"This is the ladies powder room. I shoved all my gowns and things in here once I'd moved on..." she cracked open the door. "Ooo... Needs to be cleaned up a bit." I stepped in and twirled around, gazing at the floor-length mirror and the makeup table. Mrs Potter moved past me to a wall that seemed to be entirely closet. She whisked it open and I gasped. I couldn't form the words.

The closet seemed to burst with rich, delicate, embroidered, laced, beautiful gowns, the kind you wished it was proper to wear any day of the week. I ran my fingers across them lightly, almost too scared to really touch them.

"Oh, let's get started," Mrs Potter said, clapping her hands.

She picked out for me a light blue gown with little pick flowers flowing down the skirts. It had long, draping sleeves of sheer fabric, trailed with pink flowers as well. It cinched in the back and she helped me into it. I gazed into the floor-length mirror, gazing at myself. There was a high-class woman standing in front of me, her gaze sharp, calculating, and yet familiar. Her shoulders squared and authoritative, and yet soft. She was the epitome of civility, the most important person in the room. She didn't go to anyone, people came to her.

Mrs Potter grabbed a pair of cream heels from the top of the closet and helped me into them. Then, she rooted about in the drawers of the makeup desk and ordered me to sit. I did and she took my long hair in her nimble fingers, she pulled it up into a complicated messy bun, right at the nape of my neck. She pulled and adjusted until it looked messily elegant. I stared into the mirror.

"Let's see what the boys have to say," she smiled and held out her hand. I took it, and with my other lifted my skirt so as not to trip. She opened the door and lead me out. "Now introducing, Miss Iris Brooks, taken."

"Taken?" I laughed and looked across the room to James and Sirius, who both sat on a sloped chaise. Both their mouths hung open. Mrs Potter dropped my hand and moved to join Mr Potter, who wrapped his arm around her shoulder. James stood and made his way toward me, his eyes roving the dress, the flowers, me. I smiled.

"Like what you see?" I teased, reaching for his hand.

"Ah," he choked out. "Just when I thought you couldn't get more beautiful." He finally managed to get the words out, grabbing my hand.

"We're going to go wash the vegetables. Let me know if you want to try on any more, Iris," Mrs Potter called. I nodded.

"Thank you!" They left the room. The silence built as my blush deepened.

"James, mate. What're you doing?" Sirius groaned.

"Right! Care to dance, miss?" James said, taking my hand and bowing low. I raised an eyebrow. He looked up.

"This is when you curtsy and say 'of course, young sir'!" Sirius called, coaching me. I did just that. James took my right hand and put his right hand on my waist. I place my left hand on his shoulder. The piano started playing on its own. I suspected Sirius and magic. He was seventeen now after all.

"This is a little awkward," James grinned.

"A little bit yeah," I agreed, laughing.

"Oi, mate, do you even know how to dance?" Sirius called.

"Of course, I know how to dance, look at what I'm doing!"

"You haven't danced properly since you were seven. Allow me, a seasoned veteran of fancy dances," Sirius said, standing up and taking James' place. "Now, do you know how to box-step?" he asked.

"Yes," I said.

"Start with that and let me lead you," he grinned. Once I'd gotten into the motion of box-stepping for a bit, Sirius began slowly rotating me and all at once, he spun me around. I laughed.

"Oh, that isn't that fancy!" James called, from the sidelines, pouting.

"Alright, give it a mo'!" Sirius called, rolling his eyes. "Forgive my friend, he's a bit of a prick." I giggled. "Now, get ready, now!" He spun me across his arms and dipped me, pulling me up and twirling me again, tracing one hand along my back and pulling me back into his arms and out again, catching my hands in front once more.

"James, I think you've got competition," I said, catching my breath.

"Oh, yeah? Can you do this?" James said, moving Sirius out of the way and putting both hands on my waist. "Ready?"

"For what?" but he was already lifting me into the air. I let out a tiny shriek of surprise and then laughed as he rotated and slowly set me down, bringing me down to kiss him, my arms resting on his shoulders. He let me drop onto the floor.

"See, I could, but I don't think you'd like it," Sirius teased.

"Bugger off," James laughed. He waved his wand and the piano stopped playing it melodic tune.

"I'm going to change now, James, care to untie me?" I said, turning. His fingers fumbled along my back before pulling the corset-ish like tie in the back. I closed the door of the powder room behind me and quickly undressed, careful to hang the dress up nicely and put the shoes back where she had had them before. I undid my hair and let it fall across my back, still a little damp from my shower.

I stepped out, back in my jean and tucked oversized t-shirt to find an empty room except James sitting at the piano and playing something quiet and pretty. He hadn't noticed me come out until I took a step toward him. His fingers stilled.

"Oh, hi, you're done," he said, grinning.

"Yup," I said, coming over to him and leaning my chin on his shoulder. "You can play piano?"

"Had lessons since age six," he said. "I was a genuine prodigy." I laughed and sat down next to him.

"What were you playing?"

"Josef Suk's _O Matince_ ," he said, fingering the keys.

"A rather unfortunate last name," I smiled.

"Quite," he grinned. He played a few more measures and then let his fingers fall. I placed mine on the keys and began to play. I closed my eyes and felt the music. It had been so long. I stopped, forgetting the notes, letting my fingers fall.

"You can play?" James asked, the same amount of surprise I had had.

"We used to have a piano. I taught myself. I— had to sell it though. I really regret it, but y'know. I needed the money," I smiled, sadly. We were quiet for a while.

"Would you happen to know Déodat de Séverac's _Valse Romantique_?" he asked. "It's a duet and I need someone to play it with."

"No, but I'm sure I could learn," I smiled.

"And I'm sure I could teach you," he grinned.


	100. The Differences Between

"Just because I chose to learn violin instead of piano, doesn't mean you two can just waltz down there whenever you want without me, okay?" Sirius said, rather indignantly.

"Well, it is a ballroom. Its purpose _is_ for waltzing," I grinned.

“And I’ll have none of your sass, missy,” he pointed a finger at me, waggling it. James laughed.

“Mate, just come down with us next time, bring your bloody violin,”

“Don’t you dare diss the violin. It is much better than any piano,” Sirius said, snobbily. I grinned.

“You two and your high-society life, I wonder where your manners go during school, hm?”

“Comment pensez-vous qu'elle réagirait si elle apprenait que nous connaissions le français?” James grinned at Sirius. My jaw dropped.

“Merlin’s bloody shoehorn, you know French?” I asked, incredulously.

“Honnêtement, c'était la réaction que j'attendais d'elle,” Sirius replied to James, the ghost of a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

“Oh, ya veo, ustedes dos piensan que son geniales para saber otra idioma, idiotas,” I crossed my arms.

“¿Sí? Sé tres idiomas, ¿quién es el verdadero ganador?” Sirius grinned, resting his chin on his hand, smirking at me.

“Okay, switching it to Spanish without me? Rude,” James pouted.

“You’re loss. I’ve got too many Spanish cousins _not_ to learn,” Sirius grinned at him. “You just learned French to woo girls.”

“So did you,” James said, indignantly.

“Yes, but at least I _knew_ French girls. _French_ cousins’ friends,” Sirius grinned.

“Oh, it wasn’t the girls you were after,” James accused.

“Fair enough, but through them I found their men and took them,” Sirius laughed. “On, the other hand, how’d you learn Spanish?” He directed the question at me.

“Books. The library closest to me had a whole Spanish section because it was in between a few multi-lingual neighbourhoods. Started with kids’ books, moved to chapter books, novels, then adult literature and textbooks. I actually started reading Don Quixote in Spanish, because I’d read it in English before, but it was even better in Cervantes’ own words,” I grinned. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Bollot,”

“Malvado,” I stuck out my tongue. “It’s just so weird to me that you two, of all people, know piano and violin and French and Spanish, it’s just so—so…”

“Prissy?” Sirius laughed. “Yeah, I agree. Pureblood culture is like that.”

“Our families would be friends if mine weren’t such blood-traitors,” James thumbed at Sirius.

“Yeah,” I said, smiling, but I felt strained. All of these things, that I had never thought of before. The fact that both James and Sirius were such high members of society, their families having heavy hands in politics and economics and society. The parties they’d been to, the people they’d met, the size of their houses, their house-elves. The things they knew, even just today James had shown me their family library that I didn’t even know existed full of books hundreds of years old, passed through the family line.

The things they had the privilege to learn, French, Spanish, piano, violin, dance, etiquette, all very ‘rich person’ things it almost made me nauseous. I’d always hated the idea of people just having that much money just to have it. I hated it simply because there were people in this world, people like me, who were not so fortunate, and the fact that these people just had money, to throw into ballrooms and gowns just made me question so many things.

The Potter family was very kind, very generous, they’d opened pantries all across the country specifically for the feeding and housing of Muggleborns kicked out of their houses when their families thought they were cursed of the devil or some freak of nature. The people no one talked about or acknowledged, squibs and all sorts, and at least Fleamont made that money, he didn’t just inherit it. Granted, I knew he had inherited some, but most of it came from his own work, his own inventions.

The Black family was an entirely different situation. They were rich and flaunted it. They used their power to _affect_ politics and economics and society, not just be involved in it. They used their money to meet people, gain more power, and keep flaunting. They used it to abuse and to make more money. That was the kind of filth that I desperately hated and I was so glad Sirius was not.

The two had noticed my silence.

“Everything okay in there, Roman?” Sirius asked, waving his hand in front of me.

“No, not really. I just feel a little… out of place,” I laughed, awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. James grabbed my hand and began his ritual of rubbing circles.

“You aren’t—”

“Except I am,” I said, raising a finger, interrupting. “I am, and it’s not bothering me, it is just so weird to think that we’ve lead completely different lives, y’know? It’s not… isolating, it’s just… weird.”

“Fair,” Sirius said, introspectively. “Wanna talk about it? Compare and contrast?” I paused.

“Yeah, actually. That would be nice,”

We had been talking for hours, just lounging in Potter’s TV room, all pressed together on the large beanbag.

“—I was always worried about money. I was in charge of taxes and falsifying signatures to get money from the bank from my dad’s inheritance. I knew by age eight I wouldn’t have enough to go to Hogwarts, especially because I couldn’t legally get a job until age fifteen. It got so bad that I calculated exactly how much money I was allowed to spend per year until I turned fourteen, because I knew I could get a job as a babysitter for a daycare a few miles away at that age. Hogwarts was out of the picture altogether until I lettered McGonagall.”

“Shoot,” Sirius said, staring at the ceiling. Introspective silence. “My mum never gave me an allowance. I never got spending money and she hated letting me have my way. The only time she did was letting me choose violin lessons. She was very pleased when she found out I was picking up French and Spanish from my cousins whenever we went abroad and she let me take those classes. She used to hold that above my head, that she’d so generously paid for all my classes. I honestly loved the classes, but it would’ve been nice to have a break every once and a while. I was in so many classes I feel like I’ve been in school since age six. She put me in fencing. I didn’t even _want_ fencing lessons. The useless skills she made me learn just to flaunt me off to her friends at her parties, it was just stupid. She treated me more like a dog learning tricks to perform rather than her actual child.”

More introspective silence. James spoke up.

“My parents were adamant about not wasting money when I was younger, they wanted to make sure I wasn’t a spoiled, petulant, rich, only child. I received an allowance but only if I did my chores. Whenever I wanted to buy something, like, I begged for hours, they had a system. If it was less than ten knuts they would buy it no question unless it was educational, then they were a little more lenient with the price. If it was between ten and fifty knuts, they would buy it, but I’d have to play with it for three months. I’d have to enjoy it and use it and treat it nicely. If I didn’t, I’d have to pay them back. If it was between fifty and a hundred they’d buy it, but I’d have to play with it and treat it nicely for six months. If not, I’d have to pay them back. If it was over a hundred, they’d buy it but I had to play with it, keep it nice, love it for a whole year otherwise I’d have to pay them back. I hated them for it. I was so mad because I’d want all these things and then play with them for maybe a week and then I’d have to pay them back using my allowance, but I learned. Now, I never look at something and immediately want to buy it. I look, think about it for a week, and at the end of the week I still think I need it, I’ll buy it using my own money. And I didn’t turn out to be a petulant child, either so...”

“Eh, ask around,” I joked. Our short silences weren’t empty, they were introspective, processing. It was our way of considering and agreeing. “I think I’ve figured out the main differences between our families and our lives,” I said.

“Yeah?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah. My life is all about how I had an absence of authority figures to protect me and how I had to be completely independent and self-motivated. My life was learning how to simply survive.

“Sirius’ life is dealing with an overbearing authority figure, dealing with being used as an interesting feature when people were over, an object to flaunt just like the house and the money. A family who prides themselves in the things they have. Sirius was learning his own value and learning to see the value in things you can’t buy.

“James’ life is about avoiding falling prey to the temptations of objects. He has every resource and hasn’t had to work for it. His parents have to keep him in check and teach him the importance of things he wouldn’t know otherwise, like the benefit of hard work and doing things for himself instead of making other people do it for him.”

It was almost a full minute before someone else spoke.

“So, the antagonists of Iris’ life are lack of authority and the disarray of that, the antagonists of Sirius’ life are pressure and oppression from his parents and material objects, and the antagonist of my life is myself,” James finished.

“Fascinating,” I said.

“Agreed,” said Sirius. “You know what? All this thinking has made me hungry. Let’s go make some food.”

“That,” I said. “Is a great idea.”

We decided to make smoothies because it was warm outside and Sirius had the brilliant idea of going swimming and I was introduced to another feature of the Potter household; the swimming pool. I had the brilliant idea of inviting a bunch of our friends which I owled.

“Do you want to invite Scarlet?” I asked Sirius.

“... Why do you ask?” Sirius cocked an eyebrow.

“I just know you two are close,” I said, shrugging.

“Sure, why not,” he said, winking at me.

“Alright then,” I said, and sent the letters off to Scarlet, Remus, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene, Fabian, and Gideon. They were all here within twenty minutes. Sirius had to go get Scarlet because hadn’t taken her apparition test yet, and I had to ask Lily to bring me a swimsuit, but soon we were all lounging in and around the pool, drinking smoothies and playing music from James’ portable radio.

It was some of the most fun I had had in a while. Everyone was really happy to see me out of a hospital bed and doing better. Lily accused James of hiding me away in his house like a greedy raven which was a very funny exchange to watch. Scarlet and I chatted and the girls quickly warmed up to her, except Marlene who seemed to be keeping her distance.

Sirius was very busy checking out Remus every odd minute and Remus was very busy checking out Sirius every even minute, successfully not figuring out they were both checking each other out. It was really funny.

James had already thrown me into the pool without so much as a warning and I was not keen to give him another chance to do so. I was treading water, chatting with the twins who I hadn’t really talked to in a while, minus the hospital visit, when James cannon-balled and attacked me, pulling me under the water. I tried wrestling him to the surface, but instead, he kissed me under the water.

I let him and we both resurfaced gasping for breath.

“Why the nom de plume?” I asked, wrapping my arms over his shoulders. He held my waist.

“Oh, you know how everyone would tease,” James said, rolling his eyes.

“Tease? I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” I said, innocently.

“Is that an invitation?”

“It might be,”

“Merlin, get a room!” Marlene yelled, sitting in a beach chair, sipping her smoothie. Everyone was watching us. James, to make a point, kissed me for a long moment. I broke it off.

“Unnecessary,” I said, sing-song.

“Well, she asked for it,” he grinned. “Besides, Mary and Gideon are being just as lovey-dovey over there.”

“At least we’re subtle,” Gideon grinned, hearing us from across the pool.

“You _think_ you’re subtle,” I corrected. I pushed away from James. “I’m going to make another smoothie.”

“Ooo, me too,” James grinned. I rolled my eyes, but we grabbed towels and entered the kitchen.

“What’re you feeling? We’ve got raspberries, strawberries, banana, kiwi, blueberries, oh, the mango is gone…”

“Hm, raspberries, strawberries, and kiwi,” James said, finger to his lips. I loaded the blender with ice and orange juice, dumping in the fruits and letting it grind for a solid twenty seconds before plopping the mixture into two cups. I handed James one and he immediately took a large mouthful.

“Oo, bad idea,” I said, grimacing.

“I don’t get brain freezes, it’s a talent—” and then he bent over, hand pressed to his forehead.

“You were saying?” I laughed, stirring around my smoothie with a straw.

“Bloody—Merlin,” he gritted his teeth, took a breath and stood up straight, his face still screwed up.

“You dork,” I laughed, pressing my hand to his forehead.

“Kiss it better?” He made puppy eyes, sticking out his bottom lip. I laughed, stood on tip-toe and kissed his forehead.

“Now, c’mon I want to start a game with the beach all,” I said, pulling him back outside.


	101. A Fruit Basket of Tomatoes

"Thanks so much, for everything," I said, earnestly, taking the keys from Marta. She smiled with her pearly white teeth.

"No worries. I am glad to see you doing better." I thanked her and she picked up her suitcase, waving and apparating away. I steeled myself and entered the house. I didn't have to bother to look; she was sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. I lugged my trunk to my bedroom and cast a quick spell, clearing all the dust and other things. I hoisted my trunk onto my bed and opened it, revealing the folded clothes, jumbled potions supplies. and all my worn textbooks. I began unpacking, a thankless job, but a job nonetheless.

I carefully hung all my shirts, dresses and skirts up, and folded my sweatshirts and pants into my dresser. My makeup went atop the dresser right in front of the little mirror. I carefully stacked my textbooks in the corner and placed my quills, my inks and the last of my parchment on my desk. I placed Destry's cage there as well and opened the window, letting her out. She chirped happily and flew around the room a few times and flew out the window. She'd be back.

I checked my watch and sighed. It wasn't even lunch yet. What would I do to take up my time? I sat on my bed and thought. I wished I hadn't sold that piano. It had been years ago when I sold it and very necessary at the time, but playing with James for hours had renewed my love of it. My fingers itched to play. I glanced at my short bookshelf deciding whether or not I wanted to re-read one of them, but I found them uninteresting. I'd already re-read them hundreds of times. I looked back at the ceiling.

It occurred to me that it had been a while since I'd re-decorated. I couldn't change much outside my bedroom, that could trigger mum, but I could change things up in here. I stood and slowly spun on my heel, hands on my hips, looking around. I thought. I moved all the furniture to the centre of the room and ran to the closet in the hall. The door swung open. I grabbed a plastic sheet and all the paint rollers we owned, which was two, and laid it all on the floor. I taped down the plastic and taped the floor runner so it wouldn't get paint on it. I then grabbed my purse and left.

It was a twenty-minute walk from my hour to the hardware store. I entered hearing a tingle of a bell. I waved hi to the very tired-looking cashier and moved to the paint aisle. There were many different colour options, but I had something specific in mind. I found a light shade of purple, more lavender/lilac than anything and grabbed it.

From there, it was only a five-minute walk to a furniture store. I made my way to the bed section and began looking at throw pillows. There were a few very nice options and I picked three, a grey and white patterned on, a nice dark purple one and a light purple one. They would look nice with the walls.

"Is this everything?" the cashier smiled sweetly. I nodded. "Well, you know... if you're doing some bedroom decorating, we've got fairy lights at twenty percent off right now."

"Oh, I already have a plan," I said smiling. _And I've got magic for that_ , I thought. I reached home with my haul, my fingers tired, but everything else, excited. I heaved everything to my room and glanced at my watch. I groaned. I needed to make mum lunch.

I made her a very quick panini and rushed back to my room. Time to get to work. I tied up my hair with a bandana and rolled my sleeves up. I started painting the walls. It was very fun, I hadn't done anything like this in a while. The radio played Bent-Winged Snitches and Weird Sisters while I painted and I sang along. The walls only took me about two hours. I debated whether or not I wanted to wait for them to dry, but decided to use magic. They were dry in a minute. I pulled back the tape and shoved the plastic sheet back into the closet from whence it came.

I pushed the furniture back, although I had the bookshelf and the desk switch places. A stack of letters and doodles from James lay on my dresser, waiting to be hung up again, but I wasn't ready yet.

I'd always wanted to have plants in my bedroom, I just loved gardening so much, not to mention, it would be nice to have a natural perfume to the room like a lavender shrub, but I knew if I kept potted plants, that'd be too much work for Marta to do whilst I was at Hogwarts. However, I had a new idea.

I took out my wand and concentrated. For a moment, nothing happened. Then a small something sprouted out of the floorboards between the wall and my bed. It kept growing at an unnatural rate. I concentrated my energy, directing the growing branches in the directions I wanted until a full-grown tree was growing half in my wall half in the headboard of my bed, the branches bracing against the ceiling.

I grinned. The branches were like a canopy almost, small shootlings of leaves stuck out from the wood. They popped out and reveal lavender flowers scented like vanilla. It was my favourite kind of tree, a royal empress tree. Magically aided, it wouldn't need watering, and it would virtually stay like this, positioned the way it was, ungrowing. Then, I waved my wand once more and fifty pea-sized glowing orbs burst out, dispersing themselves around the tree, inserting themselves into clumps of petals.

The tree glowed and caused pink and purple shadows to be cast on the walls in beautiful patterns. I put the new throw pillows on my bed with my two white, sleeping pillows and pointed my wand at my yellow bedspread, changing it to an ivory white. I changed the folded afghan at the foot of my bed to a warm grey.

I then took silver pins and affixed the various doodles and my favourite letters from James on the walls and the tree. I stood back and drank it all in. This was the first time I'd changed my room since I was ten. Before that age, I'd lived in the small room I'd been in since I was born. Eventually, I grew out of the bed and decided to take the guest room as my own.

I hadn't redecorated it when I'd moved in. My old bedroom I eventually remodelled to be the new guest room and that was the room Marta stayed in. But this was something new entirely. I'd never just changed everything and I'd never made anything mine. Really mine.

This bedroom was mine. No one had told me to change it, I'd just decided and I changed it because I wanted to, no one could stop me. I'd made it just for myself to enjoy. That was the difference. Whenever I do something it's always for someone else. This was just for me.

I paid on the bed and stared up at the glowing purple branches above me and I smiled. The Rhythmic Runes played softly from the radio.

_Dear Iris,_

_I know it had only been two days, but I feel on the brink of death having you separated from me. I feel that you need to visit me every day in order for me to live. Also, mummy likes that I'm practising the piano more when you're with me, so there's that. I know you're tempted by the piano._

_This letter writing really is boring. We should play another game. Any ideas?_

_Your true, dying, love,_

_James Potter_

A very nice drawing of James laying near death on his bed was drawn on the back. I pinned it with the others. I pulled out a new sheet of parchment and started on my reply.

_Dear James,_

_I am sorry to hear that you're dying. I'll make sure to send a fruit basket. I am afraid once a day is far too much, however. You'll have to settle for once a week. And trust me, it's not for you, it's for the piano. On the other hand, do you know what a telephone is? Phone calls are much more interesting than letters, although I'll miss your drawings._

_If you don't own a telephone, which I suspect you don't, why don't we play two truths and a lie?_

_Love, (though not as much as the piano)_

_Iris Brooks_

I tied the letter to Destry's leg and sent her off. I then plopped onto my bed and resumed the book he had sent along with Parley. It was called _Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values_ by Robert Pirsig. It was the story of a man and his son travelling across the United States and thinking about certain philosophies. It was quite a good read, and not at all like its title. I'd spotted it in James' library and forgotten to take it, so he'd sent it to me.

I managed to read a few more pages before Destry returned and a few minutes later, Parley. I untied the letter from Parley and he took off, soaring into the night.

_Dear Iris,_

_I do know what a telephone is, but we don't own one and I don't know how to use one or how they work. However, if they would make our nightly discussions more fun I am certainly interested. Also, what kind of fruit? You must know, I despise oranges. Clementines are better._

_And I don't really feel up for two truths and a lie to be honest, we should come up with a new game._

_I have an idea about the boring-letters-but-I-don't-have-a-telephone problem. Sirius and I have these two-way mirrors that we can talk to each other in. I might be able to find another pair like that and then I could send one to you. I'll have to ask my dad though, he managed to get Sirius' and mine from an old friend who worked for the ministry in magical artefacts._

_Here's a new game: Twenty Questions. Ever played?_

_Lots and lots of sappy love,_

_James Potter_

I laughed at his valediction and quickly began writing.

_Dear James,_

_A two-way mirror? You mean when you look into one, you see what the other one sees? Sounds interesting, I'm sure I could find a spell for that somewhere. Maybe in a Hogwarts textbook._

_I like the idea of twenty questions, although I'll be honest the normal game of twenty questions is a little boring. What if we change it slightly, where we get to ask each other twenty questions about the other? So we learn more about each other instead of just describing an object, y'know? I think that'd be more fun._

_I'll go first: If you had the chance to meet anyone during any time of the world, who would it be and why?_

_Lots and lots of normal love, you weirdo,_

_Iris Brooks_

_P.S. Don't worry, the fruit basket won't have any oranges in it. It'll be full of tomatoes._

I sent it off on Destry's leg and returned to my book. Before I could get a reply, however, my door cracked open. I jolted up, book pressed to my chest, watching my mum, who was staring at my tree. My lungs stiffened in my chest. My fingers twitched against my book. She was there.

She was silent, staring at the room. She blinked. She seemed dully interested, and I worried what for.

"Why did you change it?" her voice croaked from unuse.

"B—because it was getting old," I said, ignoring the short waver in my voice. I was afraid to blink. I reminded myself that her wand was snapped, useless. She moved her head incrementally, it could barely be called a nod. She glanced around and bit more and then left, leaving the door wide open, letting the darkness stare back at me.

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry.

What was I to do?


	102. A Second Meeting

"Miss Brooks, what do you have to say about the implementation of more dementors at Azkaban? Any pros or cons found out?"

I was on my own today. No Harold, no anyone, it was just me sitting at a big fancy table answering people's questions. My own press conference. Harold had put me in charge of the Azkaban plan; his plan to tighten the security of it. I was in charge of finding the pros and cons, the statistics and changes involving the new 'program' and so it required a press conference. Alone. Well, except for a crisply dressed women in the corner with glasses sharper than most knives. She was there to make sure I didn't screw anything up or say something wrong. There were also two security guards guarding the doors and two on the sides of the stage near me. I thought it might be part of Harold's plan. Put me in charge of something that seems high-security to the public when it isn't, and then he'd have an excuse to give me security guards.

I glanced at the woman as I answered.

"Not much can be said at present time, I have yet to visit the island and gather the data, however, thus far the new numbers instituted have been working." I pointed to another reporter.

"Miss Brooks, you said you will be visiting the island? Can we get more detail on that?" I nodded, gathering my thoughts.

"Yes, I will be visiting the island next week. It will be the first of many routine visitations. We will be checking on the mental state of the prisoners inside to see whether their levels increase, checking their health, and then also checking the changes necessary for the program, of course, check the security, things like that. Next question." I pointed at another reporter.

"Is it true that this program was created to create more fear around committing crimes in the hopes that people will stop joining He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" I blinked at the question. This would require a tactful answer.

"It was part of the initial idea, yes, but it is not the main point and it certainly won't be the functionality. The purpose of this program is the continued safeguarding of prisoners while also re-affirming our belief in the justice system. We devised the idea to increase levels of security and also international relations. I'm sure we are all aware that we have international prisoners contained in Azkaban and some countries to which those prisoners belong have been wanting a stricter system. It has many different purposes and functionalities and it would be improper to separate the ideas when they are working toward multiple things."

I eyed the woman in the corner. Her face hadn't changed expression, but she was walking toward me. She joined me on stage and whispered to me.

"Half the reason these reporters are here is because they are interested in your personal life. The Minister thought it might be a good idea to deviate to a more personal segment at around this time, but to ask your permission." Her voice was clipped and all business. She unnerved me. I nodded, agreeing. Better satiate the crowds, right? She walked back off stage.

"I will now be answering personal questions," almost immediately twenty hands flew into the air. "Yes, sir?" I pointed to a silver-haired man with a goatee.

"Is it true that you are in a relationship with Mr James Potter, and if so, are you using his family's influence in politics to your advantage?"

Huh.

Well, I _certainly_ was not expecting _that_ question. I floundered.

"Er, it is true that I am... in a relationship with James Potter, but the Potters are not influencing politics in any way. I am not 'using his family's influence' as you so _delicately_ put. For one, I would not stand for it if they pulled a few strings, for another, they would not stand for it if I asked them to. Next question," I growled, trying to stay face.

"There have been several attacks against you in the last month, any idea why you are being attacked?"

Ah. Another tricky question. I can't bring up the Order _and_ I can't bring up that Voldy has a personal quarrel with me. Fantastic.

"I... _we_ don't know at this current juncture. There are many theories, but I am not worried." Short but brief and reassuring at the same time. Nice.

"Do you feel safe with so many attacks against you? And do you think the attacks might carry political weight?"

Great.

"I do feel safe. I feel that there are many people around me concerned for my safety and I am also trained and I feel prepared for many situations. If the attacks do carry political weight, they're not making it abundantly clear what they're against or for, so they're not doing a very good job, are they?" I laughed, earning a few courteous nods from the reporters around me.

I glanced at the woman in the corner. She tapped her watch.

"That is all I have time for, thank you," I said, standing, ignoring when all the reporters stood and tried to pry one more answer from me. I was ushered out of the room and straight up to the first floor, where I sped to Harold's office. I burst through the door.

"That was quite possibly the worst thing I have ever had to do in my life," I said boldly, collapsing into one of the chairs. Harold looked up from his papers and lowered his reading glasses.

"Surely it wasn't so bad?" he grinned.

"It was fine until we got to the personal segment! I'm never doing one of those again, strictly business," I seethed. "They asked me if I was dating James to gain political power from the Potter family! Can you imagine? Blasphemy! I wanted to shoot him with a bat-bogey hex right then and there! And of course, I had to keep my composure! They also asked me a question to which the answer was impossible. It was something like 'you've been attacked a lot lately, any idea why?' I can't answer that! It's 'cause I'm in the Order of the Phoenix and Voldy wants to kill me!"

"Voldy?" Harold said, laughing.

"Well, Dumbledore always says his full name, but I can't bring myself to do that, but I also don't want to allow him his title, so Voldy it is. It's mocking and it makes him seem like a silly threat that can't kill me." I nodded. Harold laughed.

"Alright, alright, you never have to do another personal press conference again,"

"Thank Merlin!"

"But you are going to have to do something to make yourself interesting," Harold continued.

"Like what?" I sighed.

"You need a new Osumare. You need a reporter whom you trust who is the only person you give personal details. If we put all your personal information in one spot, we can control it whilst opening yourself up to the public to create interest in young people in politics."

"Do you have someone in mind?" I sighed, realizing what I was getting myself into.

"Actually, yes. I've called him in here for a meeting. He should be here in a few minutes—" Harold paused as a knock sounded at his door. "Come in."

His shrill secretary leaned in pink cat-eye glasses and all.

"The reporter boy is here to see you," she said. Harold nodded and she opened the door, allowing him in. The door shut behind him as he stood. My body stiffened. I pulled out my wand and pushed against the door.

"Don't speak, don't even move." I threatened him. "Harold, call Moody, this is a Death Eater," I said, keeping a tight grip on the neck of his sweater. He looked terrified and I couldn't help but feel a little happy about that.

"Iris! What are you doing?" Harold boomed, angrily.

"This is the boy who attacked me at Hogwarts," I said, pressing the wand further to his throat.

"Yes, I know! Iris, let go of him!" Harold commanded. I blinked. He had never used that tone with me.

"But—"

"NOW!" he roared. I dropped my grip. The boy glanced at me and then glanced at Harold. "Sorry," Harold said, rubbing his temples. "I should've warned you."

"This boy attacked me," I spat. "He rendered me unconscious and put me in Saint Mungos for a _week_."

"It wasn't him," Harold said, calmly.

"Oh, so he has an identical twin?" I seethed, pointing angrily at the boy.

"No, I was imperioused," Adriel said, eyebrows furrowed, eyes softly concerned. I blinked.

"I—! I didn't know that..." I said, feeling my body relax.

"Yeah, it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience for me either. I want to apologize for the pain I caused you, the danger you were forced into. I— well, I was imperioused. There's not much to say about that..." he said, nervously.

"No, no," I said, softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to apologize. It wasn't you, really. I should apologize for reacting the way I did just then—"

"Well, you've been trained for it haven't you?" He smiled. "It's a natural reaction."

This boy was much shyer than the one I had met almost a month and a half ago. He was kind and warm and I immediately felt at ease.

"Will you both sit now?" Harold asked, tiredly. We did. "Iris, I'd like you to meet Adriel. He works for the Daily Prophet in the celebrities and gossip section. I am currently working with the Daily Prophet to make an isolated section just for you, so people can rely on it to have updates. Adriel is the only reporter who gets to ask you questions like this and it will be heavily edited by many officers and officials from the ministry, including myself and yourself if you want. Adriel has been working for the paper for three years and through the heavy questioning after your attack, he has no criminal record and no dealings with the Death Eaters or anyone from affiliated organizations. We can trust him."

"Okay," I said, simply. Adriel looked relieved.

"He's a good writer," James commented, setting down the paper with an appreciative nod.

"Right? After I got over the initial shock, he's a really nice guy. Easy to talk to, asks good questions without it being too gossipy and prying... he's good."

"I also like how many times I get to be mentioned," James grinned. I swatted him with the newspaper. "Hey! It's nice. Who knew I'd get to date a celebrity!"

"Why haven't you mentioned me?" Sirius pouted.

"Well, I don't know. DO something interesting and I might," I grinned. It was his turn to steal the newspaper and swat me.

"I don't hear piano in there!" called Mrs Potter's voice from down the hall.

"Sorry!" I called back. "C'mon, get on with it."

After my initial stay in the Potter house, Mrs Potter had written me, explaining that she missed the sound of the piano and that James simply wasn't motivated unless I was around, so, every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and sometimes Sundays, I had the pleasure of coming over, playing the piano with James for two hours and then staying for dinner. It was a fantastic arrangement. We let Sirius practice with us, with his violin.

Mrs Potter talked about putting on a small show for some of her old friends and we readily agreed. James was adorably excited. So was Sirius.

"From the top?" I grinned and James nodded. Our fingers fell on the keys and we played together. We would be performing three pieces for Mrs Potter's little party. Dvorak's Slavonic Dance Op. 72 No 2 Dumka, A.Várnagy and Zs.Farkas Grieg: Norwegian Dance Op.35 No.1, and the last one, which was just James and me, Claude Debussy's Petite Suite which was a solid twelve minutes long.

Sirius was a bit put-out that we were shoving him to the side, but he finally relented in his moanings and groanings when he learned the length of the piece. It wasn't particularly hard, it was just long.

And that made it a little hard to learn. We were managing, however. I had no doubt we'd be ready in two weeks, when the 'viewing' as Mrs Potter called it, would take place. I had been debating if I should let Adriel write a piece on it. Maybe I could invite him but just as friends? No article? Were we close enough for that yet? Were we even friends or was it a business situation? We seemed pretty friendly during the first interview.

As usual, I was overthinking things. Plus I had two weeks to decide. I was deep in thought and I stumbled on the keys, I re-found my place in the music and re-joined James who was grinning at me. I deeply wanted to elbow him, but that would mess me up.

Five minutes later and we were finished.

"Thirty-six through fifty needs work," I mentioned. "And seventy to eighty-nine."

"And one-hundred and five to one-hundred twenty he pointed out,"

"Yup, yup, yup," I said, nodding, pursing my lips. We re-worked the measures, practising them over and over whilst Sirius grew gradually more bored. He was doing tricky things with his wand, distracting us with little breezes, conjuring up a few golden birds, and more.

"Just 'cause you're seventeen now..." I threatened him.

"Means I can do whatever magic I want," He grinned, sticking out his tongue.

"Means that you can get a beating if you're not careful," I threatened him.

"Wait, your birthday's coming up soon, right?" James grinned. The seventeenth? It'll be your golden birthday!"

"That's only days away, innit?" Sirius said, sitting up.

"Relax, it's not even August yet, we've got a whole month," I laughed. "Certainly not 'days'."

"Now I'm all excited," Sirus said, winking at James.

"We have to start planning!" James said.

"Woah, Woah, not yet. Let's finish this performance first. Then I'll let you worry about my birthday," I laughed.

"Fine," James grinned. "But when it rolls around, you better expect one hell of a party."

"Language," I admonished him, but I was grinning all the same.


	103. Misty's

"You know what's really sad?" James mentioned offhand as the three of us lounged, taking a break from our practice.

"What?" I replied, tracing my sight over the details and paint of the exquisite ceiling.

"I don't get to flirt with you anymore," he moaned as though he were dying. I laughed.

"And I here I was thinking you'd just gotten worse since we've been dating,"

"No, no, no! It's a whole new genre!" James exclaimed, sitting up. I couldn't be bothered to join him. "There's a whole world of pick-up lines and teasings I can't even use anymore!"

"Well, surely there's an entire other world of dating-related flirtations you've yet to use?" I teased him.

"Yes," he sighed, forlornly. "But, unfortunately, I'm just so much better at the not-dating ones." I grinned.

"Doesn't mean you can't use them," James blinked, as though a lightbulb had just gone on over his head.

"You're right! Well then, I—"

"Dinner!" Mrs Potter's voice carried through the halls. I sat up and raced the others to the dinner table. A plethora of delicious foods lay before us. A large Lancashire hotpot lay sat in the middle of the table. Lancashire hotpot was one of my favourite recipes, it just took forever to make so I rarely ever put myself to the task. Layered lamb, carrots, potatoes, and onions cooked for hours under low heat, plenty of spices and by far one of the best things in the world.

Mrs Potter had taken the liberty of roasting a pan of vegetables for us as well. It smelled wonderful. Unfortunately, I wouldn't have time to savour it, I was meeting Adriel in around twenty minutes.

I was crazy how quickly a friendship had forged between us, Adriel and I, but I trusted him as much as I trusted James. Perhaps it was because we'd both survived being in Voldy's clutches and no one else around us understood. Maybe I was just ready to dump all my trust in a person since Osumare had betrayed me and I needed somewhere to put it.

In any case, I'd only known Adriel for three days and I would, no hesitation, die for him.

I devoured my hotpot quickly and bid everyone goodbye. I slipped outside to apparate, I didn't feel like flooing, but the Potters couldn't know. I turned on my heel and only suffering a loss of my breath, I'd arrived at the sheltered tea shop Adriel had recommended for these meetings. It was a little obscure, but the chocolate pound cake was the best I had ever tasted in my life. I was tempted to ask for the recipe, but, honestly, I was satisfied buying it straight from them.

The tea shop was called Misty's and it was quite lovely. Bare brick walls on one side, but the rest were covered floor to ceiling with newspapers. Golden orbs floated over the room, casting a pleasantly warm glow over everything. The seats were all miss-matched and there was a large beanbag and library in the corner.

The best part was, there were rarely any other customers. They were in the cramped outskirts of Barnton, a wizarding village as they were so-called. No muggles resided in the town. Their biggest business came from the mornings, hardly anyone stopped by during night hours.

Adriel actually lived in Barnton and had since he was a child. He was good friends with the owner, a nineteen-year-old named Ruth. They'd gone to school together, but she'd graduated early because she wanted to attend a muggle college for archaeology. She'd returned after her great-grandmother left her the small cafe. Her hair was copper coloured and her eyes were golden. She wore three different watches, all with different times on them, none of which were correct. Her middle name was Athena, which was fitting; she was Greecian. She was the kind of cool that scared you and thrilled you at the same time.

"You're late!" Adriel teased from his loungy spot in the beanbag corner. Ruth slid a large slice of chocolate pound cake onto the counter, nodding at me and returning to polishing a glass. I sat down next to Adriel as he ate his own usual, raspberry and lemon pound cake.

"Only because Mrs Potter was serving Lancashire hotpot," I grinned. He groaned, throwing his head back.

"Newest headline; Iris Brooks Never Punctual, Blames it on Mrs Potter's Cooking!"

"No, no, how about; Iris Brooks Suffers young Death Due to Overeating!" I laughed, unable to keep a straight face.

"You'd better not, you're my paycheck." Adriel elbowed me.

"Oi! Watch the pound cake," I said, indignantly. I took a bite. "Anyway, what's on the agenda? More romance, because James keeps hawking me about it." I made a face.

"Hah! I warned you against mentioning him," he grinned, finishing off his cake, carefully setting the plate on the checked tile. "No, I thought we could do more just about hobbies and small factoids."

"Alright," I said, taking a careful bite of my pound cake. "But, whatever question you ask me, you have to tell me your own answer." He grinned.

"Deal." A great clattering came from the front counter. Ruth swore somewhere behind it. "You okay there, Ruth?"

"Yeah," she grumbled, swearing a bit more. Quite colourfully, I might add.

"Okaaay then," Adriel said, raising his eyebrows at me. "What's your favourite colour?" I snorted.

"You really think people will be interested in what my favourite colour is?"

"Actually, putting an easy question at the top of an article can make people see you as more relatable,"

"Which is what we want."

"Which is what we want," he said, nodding.

"Alright then," I exhaled. "Red-orange, like a sunset." I watched him scribble it down. "Now you."

"Oh! Right." He thought about it for a moment. "Light blue is nice. I have this one sweater that's exactly the shade I'm imagining. What's your favourite book?"

I puzzled over that for a moment.

"There's so many!" I laughed. "Okay, I'll say One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez." There were a few reasons why it was my favourite book, not just the fact that is was spectacularly written.

"Mine's The Westing Game," said Adriel. "Or Tuck Everlasting. Or Bridge to Terabithia." He grinned.

"All very recently written," I remarked.

"Well, classics are long and drawn-out." He made a face.

"Maybe you're looking at the wrong books,"

"Maybe," he smiled. "Most embarrassing memory?"

"Oh, we're getting into the tricky stuff now, huh?" He just grinned in reply. "Merlin, probably that time I was dared to call all my professors 'mom' or 'dad' for a whole day. Never play Truth or Dare with Sirius Black, he is a devil," I laughed.

"That sounds terrible,"

"Trust me; it is," I chuckled. "Now you."

"Easy, getting thrown to the ground by a girl because I kissed her," he grinned, eyeing the counter. Ruth rolled her eyes.

"You deserved it," she said, stacking glasses in a cabinet.

"Maybe. Worth it though," he grinned, but yelped when a towel smacked him in the face. I couldn't help but laugh. "How many relationships have you been in?"

"Two official ones," I said, cautiously. I'd had a summer 'thing' with Mason Yates a while back, but that hadn't gone far and neither of us talked about it so... Adriel raised his eyebrow at my wording but didn't pry.

"Three, plus one unofficial one," he grinned, nodding toward the counter.

"Doesn't count!" Ruth yelled from somewhere in the back. Adriel grinned.

"What are your hobbies?"

"Oof, open-ended question. I like gardening, cooking, baking, boxing, quidditch, pranking, reading, piano, there's a lot." I grinned. He quickly jotted all that down.

"I read, doodle, sew a bit when I feel like it, recently got into oil painting, and whittling," he grinned.

"Whittling, hm?" I smiled.

"Yeah," he scratched the back of his head. "I dunno, it's relaxing and all I need is a stick and a pocketknife. It's fun."

"Sounds cool, you should teach me some time,"

"Heck yeah, I'd love to," he grinned. "Oh, also I braid my sister's hair all the time if that counts as a hobby. Speaking of which, any siblings?"

"Nope. Just me," I grinned, hoping he wouldn't continue the family line of questioning.

"I've got four other siblings, all girls," he grinned at my gaping mouth.

"That explains a few things," I said, sitting back. He let out a burst of laughter.

"How so?"

"Oh, your impeccable manners, your sense of style, how you talk to girls," I shrugged. "Are you the eldest?"

"Second eldest. Isla's the eldest, she's twenty. Then it's me, eighteen, Calle, seventeen, Lillian, fifteen, Jolene but she goes by Jo, fourteen, and Esther, eleven."

"Wow,"

"Yup. Holidays get chaotic," he grinned. "Alright, you got pets?"

"Yes," I grinned. "I have an owl named Destry. You?"

"Nope. We've got three owls in the family though," he grinned when my eyes widened and I shook my head.

"Your poor mother,"

"Oh, we don't have one of those. My dad's the one who's gotta deal with us all," he grinned, laughing.

"Merlin's beard, your family sounds insane," I said, laughing.

"It's a grand time," he said, cheerily. "Alright, we gotta wrap this up, it's nearly eleven." He was right. The time had slid by far quicker and only as fast as time moves in small, magical tea shoppes. "One last question; if you had the chance to meet anyone in the world, alive or dead, who would it be?"

I thought over it for a moment.

"Paul McCartney," I grinned. He laughed.

"I was gonna say Queen Victoria, but honestly I like yours better,"

He scribbled the last bit into his notepad and we got up, taking our dishes over to Ruth and paying. She bid us goodnight and we stepped out into the pitch.

"Goodnight,"

"Goodnight," and we both apparated our separate ways.

The next morning, I was restless. I was going to Azkaban in two days and the fear was finally getting to me. I went to the Potter's house to relieve my stress, but the second I met James' eyes he knew something was up.

"Are you okay?" he asked, sidling up to me and hugging me from behind. I closed my eyes as he rested his chin on my head.

"I'm just a little nervous, I'm visiting Azkaban on Thursday." James turned me around to face him. He inspected my face, deciphering my emotions.

"It'll be okay! Tell you what, you stay here all day, tonight, and most of tomorrow and that way, all your most recent memories will be super happy. Okay?"

"Okay," I smiled, softly.

"Sirius is gone looking for apartments again, so it's just us," James grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Your parents?" I asked, quirking my own eyebrow.

"Visiting old friends." So we were _alone_ alone. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. James surprised me by wrapping his arms around me and kissing me. It was soft and thoughtful, unlike our usual... vigorous route. I leant against him, snaking my arms over his shoulders. He fingered the belt loops of my jeans and pulled my hips forward. I smiled into the kiss and broke it.

"Don't you have a swing out back?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?" James asked, puzzled, perhaps a bit miffed I'd stopped us before we could get into it.

"Race you to it,"

A quick three minutes later, we were gasping for breath and clutching out chests as we stood in front of the shaded swing. The paint was chipping, but I could tell that it used to be a cheery yellow colour. I sat down and pushed off the ground. James came around back and pushed me until my feet were brushing the leaves of the tree. I laughed and jumped, landing gracefully.

It'd been a while since I'd jumped off a swing but it brought out a crazy, childish part of me I hadn't seen in a long time. James sat down next to me in the grass. He played with a dandelion whilst resting his head in my lap. He attempted to put it in my hair but with his angle to me, he couldn't quite aim it. I laughed and was about to take it from him, when he grabbed me about the waist, flipped me down so he was over me, and carefully placed the flower into my hair.

I grinned and closed my eyes from the sunlight. A shadow fell over my closed eyes and James was kissing me again. I tangled my finger through his curls, grabbing a fistful of his hair. He didn't seem to mind. Isn't nature just beautiful?


	104. The Darkest Memories

I wished I had chosen a more colourful outfit. Perhaps it would've helped me focus more on happy memories. I wore a dark cloak that went down to my feet. It had a large hood, something Harold had recommended because of the unfortunate weather. I wore tights under my jeans to keep myself warm, a long-sleeved, dark, pine green sweater and thin, skin-tight gloves, insulated by a spell. I wore boots that laced up to my ankles and had good traction. I was told I would need that.

Everything around me was dark and bitter. The ocean was cold navy blue. The worn boat was a dark brown. Everything seemed overlayed with a dark shadow as the clouds above us thickened. They were grey clouds. It was rainy. I was accompanied by two aurors who were large and bouldering. I couldn't see their faces, as their hoods were pulled low over their faces. I was told they weren't allowed to show their faces as they had helped capture many of the people on the island. I assumed the reason they didn't want me to see was for their own protection. I was Voldy's number one target right now, they probably didn't want their faces in my memories. They seemed nice enough when I'd met them at the Ministry, but they were quiet now. I stayed my churning stomach as splashes of icy water spat into my face.

It was impossible to apparate to Azkaban. Or floo for that matter. You had to get there manually. Or, at least partially. The boat was magically sped up and no one was steering. All I knew what that it was probably going hundreds of miles per hour and it hadn't veered its razor-sharp direction. My face stung from the cold and slicing water droplets.

Azkaban was located in the middle of the North Sea. I'd apparated with the two guards and Harold to the dock. A wizened man had greeted us and shown us the boat with grim-set features.

Harold had pulled me aside and reassured me that both guards knew how to produce patroni and I was going to be perfectly safe. I'd brushed him off, partially to show him that I wasn't worried and partially because I was still cross about him and Dumbledore still treating me like a child. I am a child, but I am far more experienced than most adults and they knew that should count for something. My cold disposition hadn't stopped Harold from giving me a fleeting hug. It made me feel better than I was willing to say.

I'd smiled and stepped into the boat. The first ten minutes had been okay, but as we'd furthered along, the clouds grew darker, more dangerous-looking. It'd grown colder and it'd started to sprinkle. We were in the thick of it now.

I wondered if I wished the guards would speak, but perhaps that'd put me more on edge, pretending what lay before us wasn't utterly terrifying and soul-draining. This morning, I'd woken up with James who'd reassured me everything would be okay. I hadn't been scared then, James knew how to both simultaneously distract me and reassure me.

No matter what happened, I didn't want James to know how this went. I'd promised I'd tell him, but I wasn't going to. James needn't be worried about me. I would be safe. I knew how to produce a patronus and I was going to be surrounded by others who knew how to as well. I was very good at protecting my thoughts and Mad-Eye Moody had started teaching me a bit about Occlumency so I could teach Lily once summer was out. Lily was training with Alice and Frank over the summer so that when school got back in, Lily and I could focus on the harder stuff.

I felt prepared and I kept going over my list of defences as the island grew nearer. It was as dark and looming as I had imagined in my nightmares, which almost reassured me. It didn't surprise me. I could feel the dementors' presence. It was looming and soul-crushing. I felt myself going numb.

The boat slowed and steered us right into a slight bay where one of the guards jumped out and tied us off to a rusty metal pole sticking out of the slick rock. I climbed out and stared at the building, pulling out my clipboard and pen, pretending to be all business. The fear hadn't sunk in yet and it was going to stay that way. I'd put an impervious charm over the clipboard and I was glad because the rain had gotten colder and more violent. The hood of my robe protected me from that.

The first guard had already cast a patronus charm. His was a cougar. The second cast his, a large mole, and I took the hint. I focused my mind and a doe pranced out of the tip of my wand. Immediately, I felt my body relax. I felt a small warmth wrap itself around me and while I could still feel the rain, it felt different, like it's cold wasn't going straight to my bones. I felt a surge of confidence.

I took the lead, stepping toward the building. It was triangular and it was hard to spot the large double-doors before us as it was the same dull colour as the rest of the building. I forced myself to look up and I counted at least fifty dementors soaring about above the building. More than a few were looking our direction curiously. I ignored this as the guard on my left waved his wand and the doors slowly swung open. It didn't creak or make any noise. It was soundless, but the second it opened, I could hear the screams.

Dreadful, awful, painful screams. Screams that sounded so worn and weak it hurt to just heard them. Others so loud and shrill you knew they hadn't been there long. We stepped in, and the doors swung closed just as silently as before. I became accustomed to the darkness and I moved forward, my guards following behind. I clutched my clipboard as though attempting to cling to my sanity.

The ground floor held no prisoners. I had been shown the floor plan of the building before and so I quickly found the stairs and began to ascend. The screams grew louder. I was told not to speak to anyone on the first floor. They were too recent to the prison, they wouldn't show much difference in the data.

I could tell without being told that they were more recent. Their voices were still intact and their hair not yet grey and matted. Their eyes were still bright, although insane. All of them screamed. They reached through the bars, desperately trying to touch the patroni or feel some of their effect.

In the centre of the triangular building there was nothing. To my left were cells and to my right was just a thin wall with plenty of windows showing the outside and the view of the opposite corner of the building. This is where the dementors were. Swarming around, putting their faces or lack thereof to the bars, watching the prisoners.

I knew there were only two-hundred, after all, that's what Harold had instituted. He'd increased it from fifty to two-hundred, and yet I couldn't help but feel that there were at least a thousand. I led the guards to the second level. It was disturbing how quiet it got.

These were the prisoners who were already crushed. Those who screamed had soft voices. Most cried. The screams from those below could still be heard, echoing and bouncing around the inner courtyard. I stopped in front of cell number fourty-one. The cell itself was grey, cold, dark. A small, barred window let in the smallest amount of light. The cell was furnished only with a small toilet and a bed chained to the wall. The blankets were sparse and dirty. A man sat huddled, weeping softly atop his bed. He hugged his legs with bony, meatless arms.

His hair was as grey as the walls surrounding him. I knew what crimes had to be committed to be sentenced to Azkaban, but I couldn't help but feeling that no one, not even murderers deserved a fate such as this. He'd sat up when I'd neared the bars.

In a flash, he was pressed against the bars, his hand shot out and grabbed my collar, pulling me closer. His breath stank, his flesh was mottled. His eyes were bloodshot and terrified.

"I need..." he said, his voice quiet and hoarse, yet the urgency in his eyes terrified. The guards behind me and moved forward, to pull me away from the man, but I held up a hand. Keeping my wand well away from the man, I flicked it so that my doe slipped through the bars and pressed her head against the man's leg. His grip loosened as he stared at the animal and sank to the ground. Adjusting my collar and steeling myself, I sat down, cross-legged in front of the bars.

"Hello, sir. What is your name?" I asked, softly. He blinked as though trying to remember. The doe danced around him and he smiled, naturally.

"...Felix," he said, his voice a little stronger. "Felix Thoreau..."

"Good, good," I said, scribbling that down. "How are you feeling today, Mr Thoreau?" He was quiet.

"Sad," he said, blinking.

"Sad? Can you elaborate?" I said, slowly, carefully.

"I wish I were dead," he said, forlornly. I blinked and wrote it down. "My wife wishes I were dead..."

"Do you remember any happy memories? Think hard," I said, quietly, trying to be reassuring. He paused, staring at the doe. His fingers twitched.

"I remember... a flower. It was a pretty flower... purple..." his voice cracked and his eyes widened and he leapt to his feet. I stood and backed away as his hands scrabbled at the bars. "Tell Lydia! You must tell Lydia! I never got to tell her..." he began to weep again and he slunk back, back to his spot of the bed. I flicked my want and my doe re-joined my side. I squared my shoulders and moved on.

I needed to find cell number fifty-eight, according to my chart. We moved on. Just as before, the cell was small and grey. It was a woman this time. Her hair was coarse and matted. She wore the same uniform as everyone, striped black and grey. She lay in the middle of the cell on the floor, her arms and legs stretched out like a starfish. She cried too.

"Hello, ma'am," I said, softly. My doe weaved through the bars and laid down next to the woman. She shivered and stilled, her tears, drying. "Can you tell me your name?"

A sound came from the back of her throat, I had to press my ear to the bars, checking to make sure I hadn't missed it. It was a warbled sound as though she had forgotten to speak. It sharpened into a sound.

"...G—Gab...rielle."

"Good, you're doing wonderfully, Gabrielle. Do you have a last name?" I asked, encouragingly.

"Not anymore. He's dead now," she said. I blinked, and carefully wrote that down. I refused to let my penmanship falter.

"How are you feeling, today, Gabrielle?" I asked, going down the list.

"Slow," she said.

"How so?" I asked, hoping she'd be able to elaborate.

"...It takes a while to remember," she said, her voice growing dimmer. I strained to hear her.

"What do you remember?" I asked, hoping she'd answer. She didn't. Her tears had started up again and even though I repeated the question, she didn't stir. I beckoned my doe back and continued on to the tenth floor. Here, there were no tears. There was nothing. There was an awful stillness that contrasted terribly with the screams from below.

I inched toward cell number one-hundred and five. Here lay an older man. His wrinkles and grey hair were not just from insanity. He sat up and watched me. Not a trace of a tear stood out on his face. He seemed alert, which disturbed me.

"Hello, sir. What is your name?" Before I had even finished the question, he answered.

"Christopher Robin," he said immediately. I blinked.

"How are you feeling today, Mr Robin?" I said, slowly.

"Very well. It's a little rainy in the hundred-acre-woods today, isn't it? I hope Eeyore's house hasn't fallen over again," he said it almost cheerfully.

"Do you remember anything, Mr Robin?" I hoped for a normal answer.

"Piglet's probably stuck in a hole somewhere, he's done that before. Pooh's probably eating honey somewhere. I want to go swing, how about you?" The look in his eyes scared me more than I care to say. I moved on and as I did, I flicked to the paper at the bottom of the page. According to the records, his name was William Udall and he'd killed all three of his children. I shivered.

I interviewed more individuals on levels 17, level 29, and level 45. There seemed to be levels of insanity. The first being the ones who screamed, then the ones who wept, the ones who were still, then the ones who sang, and the ones who paced, and lastly, the ones who tore. I couldn't look at them, only seeing flashes of Remus' scar-ridden face.

Now we were taking a large jump, straight to the top floor. Level 100. Up here was the worst of the worst. There was no wall for them, sheltering them from the dementors or from the rain and cold. Their bars faced the thickest wall of dementors. The wind stung up here.

I was told that this was the sanest level because these were those who revelled in their worst memories. The ones who purposefully strode towards evil. Everyone on this level had served either Grindlewald or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. They chose this life.

Jeers followed me as the jailed taunted me. They felt my unease, they ate it as the dementors did. I dare keep my shoulders straight, my eyes fixed. I looked each and every one of them in the eye. Their smiles burned into my eyes, I could see them even as I looked away.

They mocked me for having guards, they mocked my guards for not showing their faces. They mocked me for my weakness. They dared me to banish my patronus, promised me I could be strong enough if only I'd listen to what they had to say.

Walking past, I felt their eyes. I checked my list and made my way toward cell number 2,361. He sat, meditating in the centre of his cell. The cold, wind, and rain didn't bother him. As I walked toward him, his smile widened but he didn't open his eyes. He didn't do that until I stood right in front of the bars.

He was silent, but his stare saw straight through me, so much so, I almost wasn't surprised when he said my name.

"Brooks," he said. His voice was strong, casual, as though this where a dinner conversation.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"You're David Brooks' daughter," he said. One second he was sitting, the next he was standing, right in front of the bars, staring me in the eyes. I took a step back out of surprise. His smile widened. He didn't clutch the bars as the others' had. He stood in front of them, allowing the idea to pass through me that they weren't even there, not if he didn't acknowledge them.

Shaking my head, not allowing him to get into my thoughts, I glanced at the checklist, reminding myself of why I was here.

"What is your name, sir?" I asked, my voice taking a formal, clipped tone. Last one, last one and I'd be out of here, gone—

"Marcellus Leonardo Edwin Kade," he said, calmly and listing, allowing me to write it down. "Kade with a K." There was no way he'd seen my paper, it was tilted away from him, but indeed I'd written Cade. I scribbled it out and fixed it.

"I know," I said, calmly, not allowing him to gain the mental upper-hand. He smiled. "How are you feeling, today, Mr Kade?"

"It's wonderful to hear you speak my name like that. Like I'm below you. It's funny," he grinned, he tucked his hands behind his back.

"Why?" I said, scribbling down that he felt 'wonderful' and 'a disturbing sense of authority' and 'sophomanic response'.

"Because I know something you don't," he said, rocking on his heels.

"I'm sure you do," I said, double underlining 'sophomaniac'. "Do you remember anything?"

"I remember the look on your father's face when I killed him," he smiled. The stone beneath my feet swung. My pen dropped from my fingers. The wind stole my breath as I glanced up and really looked into his eyes. They had widened as has his grin.

I was sucked into a memory, it wasn't my own, but I was seeing it as though it was. I was hiding behind a bookcase. I glanced over to my left and saw someone else, hiding too. He grinned and the scar going from his cheek to his brow, right through his whitened eye stretched. I felt in my heart that they were a friend, someone I knew very well. Sounds came from ahead of the bookcase. My grip around my wand tightened.

The sounds of quiet footsteps neared and I stole one last glance at my friend before jumping out and throwing curse after curse at a group of around ten people. They had no time. They fell to the ground, unmoving. I'd hit around four before they even started attacking my back. I felt a surge of adrenaline, I was enjoying myself.

Three remained and they battled as hard as they could. I jeered.

"You won't last long!" I said, feeling a grin stretch across my face. My friend laughed and as he did, one figure managed to hit him. He fell, hard. He didn't move. I felt my grin turn to a snarl. "You'll pay for that!"

I shot a spell at one who didn't block it in time. He fell and I grinned.

"One must survive!" One of them called. In tandem, they shot a bright white spell right at my eyes. It exploded, filling the room. I snarled, blinded for several seconds. It was enough. I screamed in anger and launched myself out of the room, sprinting toward the main entrance.

I saw them split into two directions. I grinned and sprinted after one. He fled toward a main street, but I knew this town better than he did. I chased him through alleys and hidden routes. It was like a cat and mouse and I felt a surge of satisfaction as he dodged into a dead-end alley. I slowed and pointed my wand at the man, whose hood had fallen in the chase.

"It ends here," I snarled, sticking my wand up. He refused to turn around, but I could see his shortness of breath. He held up his hands to the sky. He had no wand.

"No. Someone got away. We'll get you eventually," the man said, confidently.

"No, you won't. I already got your partner," I sneered.

"And you're a terrible liar," he said calmly.

"Turn around if your as bold as your words," I grinned. I wanted to savour this, draw out his death. He turned and stared at me defiantly. There he was. He was familiar. I knew him somehow. Faint recollections of Hogwarts surfaced. We were in the same house. Slytherin.

"Oh, David. Look at you," I sneered. "Weaker than before."

"You're one to talk," he said, lowering his hands. He hid them beneath his robes, trying to hide his shakings. I grinned, gathering strength from his fear.

"Where's your wand, Dave?" I taunted, sticking mine closer to his neck.

"I slipped it into Harold's pocket," he said, satisfied.

"Oh, you did, did you? You knew you were going to die?" I sneered. He swallowed, thickly.

"I am prepared to,"

"Of course," I said, nodding. "But you don't have to—"

"I am not joining you. Nothing you can say will make me accept all that You-Know-Who has done," he interrupted me, his tone, harsh. My grin faltered.

"Then you're a fool," I growled, inching closer. I pressed my wand into his throat. He flinched, but his eyes never left mine. A mixture of terror, hatred, and nostalgia pierced me from his eyes. It made my anger all the more potent.

"Kill me now," he said, a grim, angry smile on his lips. "You won't get far. Harold knows where you are, that's why I gave him my wand. I put a tracking on myself that can sense the people around me. You'll be caught within the hour. Don't bother even—"

His words died with him. His body fell to the ground, his eyes still open an echo of his anger written in them, but they no longer pierced me. I swore and glared at his body, splayed out on the ground. He'd thwarted me again. From the school days he'd been causing me trouble, and now, I was as good as dead.

I stomped on his face, breaking his nose. As much as I wanted to leave him here for the rats, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of his body being found. His tracking spell had long reverted on me. He was right. I'd be caught long before the night ended. But I could hide his body.

I wanted one thing over him. Knowing he was the reason I'd be caught, I wanted to be the reason his body was never recovered. I transfigured various parts of his body until he was unrecognizable, then, I shoved him deep inside a garbage bin, coving it completely.

Having done the deed, I grinned and looked at my reflection in the darkened window in front of me.

But it wasn't me. Consciousness surged through me as I stared into the face of Marcellus Kabe. A scream sounded from around me, my own consciousness lifted me from the memory and suddenly I was dunked back into the cold rain of Azkaban. I was being carried away from the building as a storm raged, both internally and around me. My body flailed and I realized the screaming was coming from my own throat. I clutched cloak of the man carrying me.

Tears slicked my face along with the rain and my eyesight was blurry as I fought for consciousness. I looked into the eyes of my guard, seeing him for the first time. His eyes were white and I realized he was blind. The last thing I remembered was his comforting patronus, his mole, alighted next to me, curling up on my chest.

I was set in the bottom of the boat as I continued my fight for consciousness. I felt Azkaban grow smaller and smaller, but the only thing I could see, the memory burned on my eyelids was the top level. I could still feel the eyes of my father's murderer on me. He was watching. I had the petrifying feeling that his gaze would never leave me alone, and then my memory fails me.

All I remember were my dreams. His eyes, staring from the reflection in that darkened window; unease, my companion.


	105. Humanity's Greed

Of course I wasn't going to tell James. I had already promised myself I wouldn't, nothing changed that. He could certainly tell something had happened, he wasn't daft, but the look I gave him when he pried quickly cut off his concerns. He just held me. And I allowed it.

After we had gotten back to shore, I was conscious, but several medics, Harold, Dumbledore, and Mad-Eye were waiting for me. They apparated me to a quiet section in the Aurors' offices and I allowed myself to be checked upon. I was given a few potions to drink and I felt less tired afterwards, but nothing really came of it. I wasn't damaged, my mind had just been invaded.

No big deal.

My three 'guardians' however, were not so satisfied.

"We really need to stop putting you into dangerous situations, don't we?" Dumbledore smiled. I didn't.

"It wasn't dangerous. That's exactly why you all plotted to put me on this assignment, isn't it? To make me feel like I'm doing something, but also have me be completely protected by setting guards on me wherever I go and keeping me away from the actual danger, right?" I smiled, but it carried no amusement. They didn't comment.

"We need to work on your occlumency," Mad-Eye said, again with the 'make her feel like she's accomplishing something' idea.

"Okay, sure," I said, trying to get on their good sides. "But I really don't think more training would've helped me in this situation."

"Of course it would have!" Harold said. "You could've been more protected and kept yourself from that awful man's thoughts!" He shook his head as though Marcellus Kade had invaded _his_ mind.

"I don't really think you have a right to speak since you didn't _bother_ to tell me my father's murderer was _in_ the jail and that he'd actually been _captured_." Harold looked struck dumb by the statement. I stood up from the examination table. The paper crinkled. "Did not one want to tell me that? Did you know that I had _no idea_ how my father was killed or who did it?" As my feet neared him, my voice grew louder. Angrier. _Fiercer_. "Did you know that no one ever even _thought_ to _tell_ me that we actually tried and _convicted_ the man? The man I didn't even know you _knew_ about?! The man I didn't know was _alive_?!" I was screaming. Harold flinched, but that made me even more furious. "I didn't even know that you had captured him! I didn't even know you were _there_! You were his _partner_! YOU _BASTARD_!" I spat, my voice reaching a height I didn't even know was possible in my current state. My fists were clenched, my finger jabbing into his chest, my face inches from his. "YOU KNEW THE MOMENT HE DIED! YOU LEFT HIM, EVEN THOUGHT YOU KNEW HE WAS WANDLESS! YOU COULD'VE FOUND HIM." His eyes closed. He was showing vulnerability. How. _dare._ he. "He might be alive if it weren't for you." I hissed.

My teeth were biting so hard, my jaw popped. My fists were white and I slowly unclenched them. I breathed heavily. The room was silent. I turned so I was facing all three of them.

"You put me in this _damn_ order to use me. You _needed_ me. Tell me you need me _now_ , or I will leave. I didn't become an auror, the very person I promised myself I would never become for the _this_. I did it for you and to help save the wizarding world," I said, bitterly. "I did it because I thought I could make a difference. You are _determined_ to keep treating me like a _child_. I have tried to get through to you that I am _not_ a child. I dare say I never _was_ one, you know why? _Because_ of the Death Eaters. _Because_ of... _Voldermort_." I said, swallowing that little bit of pride. "Promise me, you will give me _actual_ _assignments_. That you will use me how you _promised_ to use me. That you will stop giving me _useless_ assignments to throw me off and keep trying to protect me, something we've found _impossible_." I took a moment to look them all in the eye.

"I will _leave_. I will _quit_ my _job_. I will never speak to any of you again. I have lived without your influence in my life and I still can. I don't need the cushy paycheck, I never did. I appreciate it, sure, but I don't need it. It's not an incentive. _Why_ I joined the order, and _why_ I'm giving you one last chance to keep me, was so that I could help protect innocent people from the people who are trying to corrupt everything in this world. Every pure and hopeful thing. I joined to protect the vulnerable and the weak. People who don't comprehend the dangers. I can do that _without_ the order. However," I said, pursing my lips. "You still need me to do my job in Hogwarts because you know the second I quit, Lily will too. You'll have no one." I said, looking at Dumbledore. He was looking down at his twiddling fingers. I turned my gaze to Harold who was still bravely looking me in the eye. "You'll have to suffer the backlash of my quitting and the drama and the media accompanying that." I turned to Mad-Eye, who was looking at me quizzically, trying to figure out what I could possibly use against him. "And you," I said, turning up the corners of my lips in a grim smile. "Will lose your best student and have to live with the failure, something you will absolutely hate and regret for the rest of your life." He looked down, shaking his head. I could tell he almost wanted to bark with laughter but knew I was right.

"I think you all know how you can prove yourselves to me," I said, quietly, turning on my heel and reaching out a hand for the door.

"Osumare's awake," Dumbledore said. I stilled.

"I'll go alone," I said, turning the doorknob and not looking back.

She was very talkative. And she was very different.

"After I blacked out, I was fighting for my life," she said desperately, clinging to the bars of her cell. I sat across from her, my fingers clasped, loosely. "I was fighting for my sanity. You-Know-Who had imperioused me and I was trying to hard to fight it off. You saw how long it took. How long was I out?"

"A few months," I said, waving my hand about, airily.

"Oh, Iris, I was trying so hard. I managed it! The second I threw off the imperiousment I woke up!"

"Do you remember who imperioused you? And around what time? What's the last thing you remember?" I said, tiredly. She shook her head earnestly, then paused, and then tilted it, thinking.

"I remember where I was. I was in the ministry, finishing up with my notes from the meeting on how the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures was changing its handling of boggart infestations when I turned a corner and that's the last thing I remember. It was early spring, I remember. 'round April."

I nodded, idly. That lined up with when she started becoming weird with her interviews and when I remember having fuzzier memories and getting sleepy whenever I saw her.

"You must remember some things about Voldy's plans," I said, tiredly.

"Oh, yes! Just a few things here and there," she said, nodding rapidly. I spread my hands, waiting for her to continue. "Oh, I can't tell you." She said surprised. I knit my eyebrows.

"Why not?"

"You guys aren't going to let me out for a long time, are you?" she said, softly, looking down at her hands. I narrowed my eyes.

"So you're leveraging your knowledge? Knowledge that could help us defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named? The most vile and disgusting creature to ever walk this earth?" I said, sneering at her.

"Would you? If you knew your freedom was on the line?" she said, sadly. I scoffed.

"I'd do it in a heartbeat,"

"How can you know?" she said, smiling softly. "We humans can be greedy sometimes. I don't want to be in here forever, and I know you won't let me out easily. Whatever trust we used to have is long gone now, and I'm not delusional; you hate me." She paused. "The risks are too high. I don't think telling you everything I know will convince you. I need _something_ to keep you interested in me. For now, I only offer my conversation."

I shook my head, angrily, clasping my hands again. I stood and looked at her, disgustedly.

"That's not what I need," and I walked back up the stairs.

And now I was with James. Just resting in his arms. He was the only thing that felt secure in my life. I could be vulnerable with him and happy and normal with him. I didn't have to use anything to leverage him, I didn't have to think about everything he did and said. I loved him and he wanted to see me happy.

I hadn't bothered to go home. Home would hurt too much. James' parents had no idea I was over. I had climbed through James' window late at night. Yelling at my guardians and interrogating Osumare had taken up what little afternoon I'd had left after Azkaban.

James had been all too generous. He'd let me borrow one of his oversized T-shirts and stopped asking all his prying questions. He deserved something for all his troubles.

"He was there," I said, closing my eyes.

"What?" he said, holding me just a little tighter. I took a breath.

"My dad's murderer," my voice cracked. I squeezed my eyes closed at the vulnerability in my voice.

"... Iris... I can't begin to—"

"You don't have to say anything. There's no proper way to react to that," I tried to laugh, but it came out strangled.

"...You can cry," James whispered, correctly interpreting the waver in my voice. He knew me too well. The second he said that, the tears ran down my face, wetting the front of his shirt. He carefully rocked me as my shoulders shook.

"You are so much stronger than I ever could be," James whispered. I heard a worn emotion in his voice.

"It's okay," I hiccupped. "You can cry too." When he laughed, it was all choked up. I felt a few drops on the top of my head and heard the hitch in his breath as he joined me in my tears. We both cried for a long time, taking turns holding the other even tighter.

"Please go to sleep," James whispered after the longest time. "It's the only thing that could help."

"This helped a lot," I admitted, sitting up, wiping my tears with my hand. James rubbed my shoulders and looked at me. I laughed quietly when I saw his face. He gave me a watery grin and rubbed his own eyes. "It helps that I'm not the only one who's a mess."

James nodded, kissing the top of my head.

"We should _both_ sleep," he murmured. I replied by falling onto his pillow. He joined me and lifted the blankets over both of us. I smiled and James wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close. I put my hands over his and I finally fell asleep.


	106. Reflection

"I have a present for you," James said. We were all dressed up, in our formal attire, waiting for all Mrs Potter's friends to arrive. James and Sirius both in tuxes, very nice, classy, dark academia style. I was wearing a long dress, dark green organza that was layered and embroidered beautifully. It was an empire waist and had a deep v-neck. It had short angel sleeves in one layer. My hair was tied up in a loose bun at the nape of my neck, curled and slightly mussed. I felt beautiful. I had just spotted Adriel entering, dressed in a grey three-piece suit. I had finally plucked up the courage to ask him to come. As friends. He wouldn't be writing an article.

"A present?" I tilted my head, smiling, grabbing the hand that wasn't hiding behind his back.

"Well, you remember when we were discussing how inconvenient letter-writing is? And how I mentioned that Sirius and I have two-way mirrors?" He grinned and pulled out two identical hand mirror. I gasped. They were beautiful. They were silver and were elaborately wrought with flowers and swirls. They looked old and I carefully took the one James handed me.

"All you have to do is say my name into it," James grinned. I shook my head in disbelief and held it up.

"James Potter," I said clearly. I watched as my reflection dissipated as though it were water that a droplet had been dropped into. My reflection swam and re-materialized as James' face. He grinned.

"Pretty wicked, huh?" he said. I heard his voice issuing from both his mouth and the mirror.

"Yeah, it's wicked! Thanks so much," I said, jumping and wrapping my arms around his neck. He laughed and hugged me back, being careful not to drop his mirror.

"I'll put these in my room really quick," he said, gently taking mine. He waved his wand and they disappeared out of his hands. I rolled my eyes and he grinned, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. Sirius made an obnoxious gagging noise and I grinned at him and removed myself from James, joining Sirius in peeking around the corner.

"Moony here yet?" I elbowed him. He rubbed the spot and nodded, staring into the corner of the room. There Remus was, tugging at his shirt collar. He looked adorable, dressed very nicely, a red sweater overtop a buttondown and skinny brown dress pants that really reminded you just how skinny Remus was. Sirius was entranced.

Mrs Potter rushed up to us, Mr Potter attempting to lead her with his elbow, but her being too quick. She was wearing a rich red gown, velvet and gorgeous on her.

"Alright, are you three ready?" she said a huge smile on her face. "I've already set out horderves and everyone who sent RSVPs are here." We nodded and we all stepped out of the side hall together.

A smattering of applause broke out, I spotted all my friends congregated in roughly the same area as Remus. Both James and Sirius escorted me, linking elbows on either side of me. We stopped just behind Mrs Potter who was beaming to the whole room.

"It's been a while since I've done anything like this, so forgive me if I'm a bit rusty," She said. A few polite laughs broke out. "I am so happy that my son, James, has such fine companions that they can collaborate and do things like this..." She continued for a bit, but it was a little boring.

Our audience were lounging on couches and chaises. A few chairs here and there. A group of three moustached men stood in the corner smoking cigars. Mrs Potter couldn't be happy about that, but at least they looked like the magically good-smelling kind. Adriel sat a bit away from my friends, in his own little spot. I raised my eyebrow at him and he grinned, eating one of the tiny fancy snacks Mrs Potter had provided.

Everyone was dressed well and everyone who wasn't one of my close friends were at least in their forties, old friends of the Potters. I startled when I spotted others whom I knew. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall sat amidst the crowd. Dumbledore was dressed in one of nicest dress robes, a light lavender colour. I wanted to laugh when I spotted a small bow tied near the bottom of his long beard. Professor McGonagall was dressed very nicely, in a navy dress redient of early 1900s wizarding fashion. She looked regal with her raven hair styled like a Gibson girl. I blinked as Mrs Potter finished and drew away, leaving us to our performance. The boys bowed, I curtsied as practised, and we took up out places. James offered me his hand as I sat down, carefully holding up my skirts.

Sirius took up his violin, placing it under his chin as James sat next to me. We allowed Sirius a few strums to make sure his instrument was in tune and then we began. Our first piece was [Dvorak's Slavonic Dance Op. 72 No 2 Dumka](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lMrhSwcmds). It was a gorgeous song and my fingers flitted over the keys flawlessly. Our three and a half weeks of practice were all for this. We finished with a smattering of applause. Sirius bowed and James and I inclined our heads at the piano. We flipped our music and prepared for our second song, [A.Várnagy and Zs.Farkas Grieg: Norwegian Dance Op.35 No.1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i14q8gh6TKg). (They have dreadfully long names, I know.)

Again with the applause and Sirius took his final bow, removing himself from the floor and taking a seat in the corner to watch James and I. We smiled at each other and we began to play. [Claude Debussy's Petite Suite](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NN0n8-YCfs) was a beautiful piece of music. It wasn't necessarily difficult but it was long. It made up for it by being absolutely gorgeous and fun to play. It contained four parts. I - En Bateau, II - Cortège, III - Menuet, and IV - Ballet.

James and I played perfectly. I'd even gotten skilled enough to elbow him discretely to make him smile. He always drew a serious face when playing, it heartened me to see him grin whenever I did. We inched through each section and finished off strongly. We stood when we were finished. James bowed and I curtsied. We gestured for Sirius to come up again and together we each took a step forward individually and bowed. I clapped harder than anyone for James and Sirius.

The party wasn't over then. Of course not, every single person wanted to say something to us out of courtesy. I began to understand James' and Sirius' impatience with an event like this. Having to do this every time you were at a party would get exhausting.

I was just excited to get through all the people I didn't know.

"Great job," Adriel congratulated me. I hugged him and laughed.

"This is probably one of the weirdest things I've ever done,"

"Really? This?" he laughed.

"Honestly, yes," I said, grinning. "I've never had to perform in front of a bunch of well-dressed people I've never met."

"Fair, fair," he smiled. James walked over and introduced himself, shaking hands with Adriel.

"Oh, the famous James Potter," Adriel joked. James put a hand to his chest.

"Famous, you say?" he winked at me.

"Well, you are dating one of the most important young politicians in all of England, aren't you?" Adriel grinned, gesturing toward me. I laughed.

"Is that all I'm worth?" James grinned.

"In a reporter's line of work, yes," Adriel smiled. James laughed and wrapped an arm around Adriel's shoulders giving him a side hug.

"I like this guy, he's funny. Could give Sirius a run for his money," they laughed.

"Speaking of, excuse me," I said, leaving their little group and heading toward Sirius who was speaking amiably with Remus.

"...one of the hardest instruments, isn't it?" Remus was saying.

"Yeah, I'd agree. It's a good thing I'm highly intelligent," Sirius joked. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"¿Cuánto tiempo te llevará besarlo?" I said, nodding to Remus. Sirius flushed a little, his cheeks tinting a light shade of pink.

"Oh, no puedes decir nada. Te tomó meses besar a James cuando descubriste que te gustaba," Sirius retorted.

"And I regret using my time to learn Latin," Remus nodded, looking from me to Sirius and back again.

"Why on earth would you bother to learn a dead langue? It's dead for a reason," I laughed. He shrugged.

"It helps me understand spell casting and roots in scientific names. It's pretty useful actually."

"I also know French," Sirius bragged, casually wrapping an arm around Remus whose eyes widened for a split second then, returned to his nonchalant demeanour.

"Oh, really?"

"En ce moment, je pense à toutes les choses coquines que je pourrais te faire si nous sortions ensemble," Sirius growled near his ear. I enjoyed watching Remus' face grow pinker and pinker.

"The romance language," Remus said, nodding, taking a hasty sip from his flute of champagne. I grinned and sipped from my own flute.

"Very well done," Dumbledore remarked, coming beside me on my left.

"Oh! Thank you," I said, smiling and sipping my drink.

"I would like to speak with you for a bit—"

"Iris! Splendid job my dear," Professor McGonagall interrupted coming up beside Dumbledore. They shared a look.

"Ah, thank you professor," I smiled. I was getting a weird vibe from the two of them. Dumbledore seemed keen on ignoring it.

"Iris, about last week—" he started.

"I can't believe you never mentioned to me that you play piano," professor McGonagall remarked. "When did you start?" I looked back and forth at them.

"...Around age seven, but I had to sell my piano a while ago. I'm just glad the Potters have been so accommodating and allowed me to use theirs." I laughed. The two professors smiled.

"Iris, I do need to speak with you, it's rather important," Dumbledore said, gently grabbing my elbow and steering me toward the hallway. I sensed McGonagall following. "Oh, Minerva, you needn't accompany us."

"Nonsense," she said, briskly. Again, that super weird vibe. I removed Dumbledore's grasp on my arm but continued to follow him. We tucked into a secluded room. Dumbledore shut the door.

"I just wanted to talk with you about what happened last week. You understand Harold, Alastor and I are a little worried about your loyalty to the order," he started, clasping his hands together. I smiled thinly.

"That's stupid," I said. I sensed McGonagall straighten at my words, just behind me. Dumbledore let out a small cough.

"I don't believe it is. You seem to have joined us for the wrong reasons—"

"You heard what I said that last time we spoke. I was very blunt, I thought direct. You should understand me perfectly," I said, downing the rest of my champagne. Dumbledore's lips grew a little thinner.

"We are worried about your loyalty—"

"Why?" McGonagall spoke up, stepping up to stand beside me. Dumbledore blinked.

"Minerva—"

"You know I know how the conversation went. I have never been more disappointed in you," she glared at him. "Iris is right. You are wrong. _You_ need to fix it." Neither spoke for a long time, both staring at each other, professor McGonagall definitely and Dumbledore dissatisfied. After almost a minute of silence, I spoke up.

"Professor Dumbledore. I understand your unwillingness to put me in danger, I get it. I'm a child. We've established this, but you don't seem to understand that I am so much more _experienced_ than a child. I don't want to use my power to start a war. I want to prevent one. I won't allow you to treat me like I don't know what you're doing. I just want to be respected and I want you to stop trying to protect me," I said. Dumbledore surveyed me.

"I cannot leave you by yourself, alone and defenceless—"

"She isn't," Professor McGonagall said. "She is extremely skilled for her age in magic and she can fight without a wand. She has a level of intellect and self-preservation that most of our order members have not yet achieved. And, she has very skilled friends. She isn't alone and she isn't defenceless," I blinked up at her in admiration. Her eyes dug into Dumbledore, I had never seen him this defeated.

"Minerva. I can't just leave her out in the open—" Dumbledore sighed.

"You won't be. What you're going to do, is you're going to allow her to continue her Keystone assignment in the Stonewall project. You will allow her to keep going to work and you're going to allow her to continue her studies in defence by herself. She doesn't need Alastor spying on her and keeping her in check anymore," I blinked, coming to terms with the fact that there was a lot I didn't know. "She will be allowed to be a normal child as much as possible, which means not assigning her to missions she isn't integral for. You will stop ganging up on her whenever another terrible something happens that you orchestrated by your assignments. Have I made myself clear?"

Dumbledore stood, defeated, facing professor McGonagall and I. I stood, stock-still, still processing a few things that had been said. Dumbledore buried his face in his hands.

"You're right," he groaned. "Of course, you're right, you're always right." He gave Professor McGonagall a wry smile. She didn't return it, but her lips grew a little less thin.

"So, you agree?" she asked. He nodded.

"Of course,"

We stepped out and Dumbledore nodded to us, and left, leaving to disapparate on the front law. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked back to the room where voices issued.

"I hope you don't mind my interference," Professor McGonagall remarked, looking down at me from her wire-frame glasses. I shook my head.

"Of course not. I'm... grateful," I smiled a bit.

"You had it all under control I'm sure. Based on what Harold told me from your last conversation you were very transparent, but Dumbledore has a one-track mind. It takes a specific push to get him to see things from a different point of view. He's very stubborn," she said frankly.

"Well... thank you," I said, nodding. She turned to me and her expression softened.

"You can properly thank me once school is back in session. I still expect you for Tuesdays," she gave me a rare smile.

"Of course, I'd never forget."


	107. Better than Something

"Oh no, how tragic for you," I said sarcastically.

"It is! Have you ever made hot chocolate without milk before? It's terrible!" James said. I laughed.

"Why were you even making hot chocolate? It's summer," we were chatting through our mirrors. I was lounging on my bed, chin in my hands, looking at James who was dangling off his bed upside-down. It was very funny to see that angle.

"Look, the temperature outside won't stop me from enjoying the best drink known to wizardkind," he wiggled his eyebrows and sit up. I saw the background rotate around him.

"Where's Padfoot?" I asked.

"Oh, he's in here with me," James said, nodding to his left. I quirked an eyebrow.

"And he hasn't spoken up this whole time?" He turned the mirror so I could see Sirius, fast asleep on a chair to the side.

"He isn't really conscious enough to do that, I'm afraid," he snickered and turned it back to him.

"Well, I've got to go and make dinner," I said, smiling. "I love you."

"I love you too," he smiled and blew me a kiss. "Bye." and the mirror faded with those words, resurfacing itself to show my own face. I smiled, got up from my bed and carefully tucked it into the top drawer of my dresser. Destry, who had been roosting in one of the lower branches of the royal empress tree, flew down and landed on my shoulder, curling into the crook of my neck. I absentmindedly scritched her head and waved my wand. The glowering orbs in the tree petals dimmed and I shut the door behind me.

I walked to the kitchen, barely offering even a glance at my mother who was sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. Again. I took in the contents of the kitchen. I decided I would make a risotto. Risotto, minding its fancy name, is actually a very quick thing to make. In it's simplest form, it is rice cooked in broth until soft and creamy. I was being a little bold today. I would be adding onions, white wine, and parmesan. I would also top off the bowls with buttered sugar snap peas as I had picked a whole bushel-full that morning from the greenhouse.

I got to work, warming the broth in a saucepan and beginning to toast the rice in butter. Things had cooled down a bit in my life. I wrote Regulus regularly, almost on the daily. I met up with Adriel around once a week. I went to work at the ministry Monday through Friday, sometimes Saturdays if necessary. Harold was by far the best one to take all my rants, although the things I said, he should've been the worst. He apologized profusely and gave me a long hug that just seemed to help everything. I didn't want to mad at Harold and he helped so much by not making it awkward.

I did the work, we still ate lunch together, and we relaxed in his office talking about whatever it was that we wanted. It almost made everything seem normal.

The order wasn't using me for their missions anymore. There was a time when I would've been mad, but now I didn't care one inch. I was happy, not going on missions made me feel like I wasn't contributing to the war that was going to break out any day now. I could feel like I was helping without putting myself in danger. Something I felt like I needed at the moment. Voldemort surely wasn't too keen on giving me a break, unlike everyone else.

Speaking of which, I was also meeting with Osumare about three times a week, just to chat. That was another part of my assignment now, besides keeping a list of children. I was supposed to get Osumare to crack. She was pretty good though. She was too smart to let anything slip. She absolutely refused to tell me anything and it made me furious. How could someone be so cowardly so as to leverage information that could save people's lives, just to save their own? She disgusted me, but she refused to speak with anyone else. She zipped her lips the second some else came down the stairs.

I wanted to curse her into oblivion, but there wasn't much I could do.

I hadn't heard from Dumbledore at all, and I was honestly very happy about it. Moody probably wasn't too happy with me, but I couldn't care less. I also spoke with professor McGonagall occasionally. Whenever we crossed paths in the headquarters, we stop for a bit, fix some tea, and have a chat.

It was fantastic how amusing her company was. Her humour was the kind that was so dry and sharp that if you weren't intelligent enough to catch it, it would go straight over your head. She was like Mark Twain in that way. I told her as much and she laughed. Her laugh was a short one, but a laugh nonetheless.

"Mark Twain wishes he could match me. He had to sit down and write it out, think it before putting it down to paper. It's more of a reflex for me," she smiled and sipped her tea. I laughed.

I was excited for the school year to start, specifically just so I could chat with McGonagall more on our scheduled Tuesdays if anything else. We were in the beginnings of August, which left about a month before Hogwarts classes started. It was also two weeks until my birthday. James had told me that he was planning something and I was a bit apprehensive (James could be a bit too excessive when it came to things like this) but excited nevertheless.

I kept stirring around the rice until the edges were translucent but the centre was still opaque. I then deglazed the pan with a splash of white wine. I then began the slow process of adding the warmed broth half a cup at a time. Once done, I kept stirring and in the saucepan from before, I began sweating the chopped onions. Once the rice mixture was al dente and the onions were soft, I added in the onions and dumped in the parmesan. I stirred so that it was all mixed and took it off the heat. I spooned out the mixture evenly in two bowls and placed a pat of butter in the saucepan, still over the flame. Once melted, I quickly put in the chopped halves of the sugar snap peas and let those cook and soften just a bit. Not to much, I wanted them to add texture to the whole thing.

I salted and peppered these and dumped them on top of the still-steaming risotto. Dinner was served. Mum was already sitting at the table and I placed a bowl in front of her and grabbed two mason jars and filled them with water from the tap and brought them over as well.

I was very satisfied with how supper had turned out and mum had no complaints, eating hers slowly as she usually did. I finished mine quicker and brought my bowl, spoon, and jar over to the sink and washed them, setting them to dry on the drying rack. I also washed the two pans I used to make it and the spatula as well.

I retreated to my room to read.

I had recently purchased a book of poetry titled The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. It was a fantastic book written in the 1960s about a girl who dreamed of being a poet. It went in-depth of her experiences working as a guest-editor for the Ladies' Day magazine and the struggles that came with being a working woman and societal norms. It was amazing.

Regulus had sent it to me a couple of days ago and I'd also picked up her book of poetry from the library how excited was I to read her stuff. Just as I had laid down on my bed, my door opened and revealed my mother standing in the doorway. I slowly sat up as she stared at me.

"Hey, mum, what's up? Is there something you need?" I asked, renewed to hear my voice so steady. She walked in and in a flash had grabbed my hair by the roots. I gritted my teeth and stood with her motion, attempting to lessen the pain. I grabbed her hand. She began scratching at my face and I abandoned my hair, wrapping my arms around my face. She let go of my hair and threw me on the ground. I scrambled up on my feet, in a bit of a crouch.

Her eyes were green of course. I'd seen them before. She swung out with her foot and I stood steady, steady with the blow. I held my arms out in a protective stance. My fists were clenched. She swung out again to claw me, but I was ready. I ducked and swung myself under her arms and grabbed them, holding them behind her.

If she tired herself out, she'd stop fighting and her eyes would turn back to grey and everything would be fine, it would all be fine— she thrashed and the back of her head connected with my nose. I heard a crack and immediately my eyes started watering. I didn't let go though.

I was right. Just as my nose started dripping blood, she stopped thrashing. I let go and she stayed still for a moment before hobbling out the door. I shut it behind her and tilted my head up to keep the blood from dripping everywhere. My fingers fumbled at the dresser drawers, but I pulled the top one and felt around in the corner for a box of tissues. I grabbed two or three and quickly put them against my nose, stoppering the blood for the time being. I could then look down and grab my wand, waving it and I felt my nose snap back into place. I gritted my teeth.

I blew my nose in an attempt to get the rest of the blood out of my nostrils.

"Iris?" a voice came from my dresser. My mirror was tilted and I saw James' confused face. I sighed.

"Hey," I greeted, taking the mirror out and propping it on top of my dresser.

"What happened?" he said, concerned.

"I tripped," I said.

"No you didn't,"

"Yeah, I didn't," I said, refusing to elaborate.

"You want to come over?" James suggested, coaxingly, just enough concern laced in his voice to make me feel bad. I shook my head, grabbing a water bottle from within the depth of the top drawer. I sighed and took off my shirt, wetted it and pressed it against my nose. James raised an eyebrow.

"No washcloth?"

"Eh, I'm talking to you. I can get the stair out with magic, it's fine," I smiled. I was sure my eyes were red from the reactive tears that had accompanied the breaking of my nose.

"You sure you don't want to come over?" he asked. I sighed.

"I'm honestly okay, this wasn't as bad as usual and she calmed down in less than a minute. I'm perfectly fine. I mean, this isn't the first time my nose has been broken." I shrugged. James winced.

"Still," James said, pursing his lips to the side. "I just made Better-Than-Holding-Hands brownies." I giggled. "Okay fine, they're actually called Better-Than-Sex brownies but mum doesn't like it." He grinned.

"What makes them better than sex?" I laughed.

"It's a layer of chocolate chip cookie dough, then Oreos, then brownies with caramel drizzled on it. With whipped cream of course, and ice cream if you feel like it."

"Oof, that sounds good," I groaned.

"Then come over," he wiggled his eyebrows. I bit my lip, tilted my head, and made a succession of thinking noises.

"Fine, fine, fine... But just for a bit. I've got work tomorrow," I bid him a quick goodbye, tucked the mirror back into my dresser and waved my wand at the wet shirt from before. The blood-stains disappeared. I zipped over to the bathroom and quickly washed my face with cold water so that any swelling would go down and the remaining blood was gone and I walked to the living room.

A small fist-full of floo powder and I was off. I tripped on the Potter's rug of course and soon James and I were snuggled on the beanbag in his basement, enjoying large bowls of Better-Than-Holding-Hands brownies with vanilla ice cream.

I finished mine off very quickly, unable to restrain myself. James grinned.

"Too impatient, hm?" He said.

"Oh, you can't talk, you're almost done," I poked him. He laughed.

"Fair," When he was done, he stacked my bowl on top of his and set them aside. He wrapped his arms around me and I snuggled in, refusing to think about work tomorrow.

"Do you think it is?" James said, muffled.

"What?" I asked, turning to look at him. He smiled, kissing my forehead.

"The brownies. Do you think they _are_ better than sex?" he said it so casually. I blinked.

"I wouldn't know," I smiled, stretching out, leisurely on the beanbag. He nodded.

"Same here,"

A beat of awkward silence. I cleared my throat. James glanced at me.

"Do you wanna?" I looked at him. He looked wore an expression unlike himself; like he was stepping into unexplored territory.

"Do I want to know if the brownies are... are—"

"Are better than sex, yeah,"

His face was a range of emotions. I stretched a bit more, resting my hands under my head. I saw him glance at my now exposed midriff.

"...yeah...Merlin, yes."


	108. A Number of Things

"Oh, it's going to be big, I can tell," I told Harold, nodding.

"How can you?" he asked, grinning, taking another hesitant sip of his coffee.

"They keep hinting at it when I talk to James in the mirror. They've told me several times that cake is going to be as big as their table." I was slouching in his big cushiony chair as we sat talking in his office. We'd just gotten back from lunch and neither of us had a lot to do right then, so we were taking a little bit of downtime.

"How many people are they inviting?"

"No idea." We were of course, discussing the interest of my birthday party. Sirius and James were planning it, so I couldn't know what was going to happen.

"It can't be too big..." he paused, reconsidering. "Although this is James we are talking about."

"Exactly," I raised my eyebrows. "There's no trusting him."

A beat of amiable silence.

"Your interviews with Adriel are going well. He's gaining a lot of momentum and so are the articles," he nodded.

"Oh, yes. They're so much fun and I'm just really glad we can finally control what people see. I feel like I was too vulnerable early on and now I have to make up for it and try to pull some of it back. Or at least, distract those who would be interested."

"Well, that's the price of being known," he grinned.

"'If you want to enjoy the rewards of being loved, you also have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known,'" I quoted.

"The people certainly love you," he grinned. I smiled, rolling my eyes.

"I suppose it's all the snark." He laughed.

"Probably." We chatted a bit more until the secretary came in with files from a meeting that had just finished in the Magical Law Enforcement Department and I had to run to do my job. The day passed in a fast blur after that. I was relieved to go home. Well, not my home. James', but before I stepped into the elevator to bring me down to the Atrium, Harold grabbed me and pulled me back into his office.

"What's up?" I asked, nodding back at the door. "Can't keep me here much longer or you'll be breaking the law." I teased. He smiled. I noticed one of his hands was behind his back.

"This is your seventeenth birthday," he smiled. I nodded, slowly.

"And my golden birthday since today is also the seventeenth," I grinned. His smiled grew wider.

"Yes, and that means you're becoming of age. Normally when and witch or wizard comes of age, they are given a watch." He paused to pull out a small box from behind his back. I took it, gently and took off the lid. Inside, was a gorgeous gold watch. It wasn't just any watch either, it measured time, sure, but it also had the nine planets revolving around the edge that were moving, slowly, and the moon that showed its fazes. I gazed at it, my mouth ajar. "This isn't just any old watch either. It was your dad's."

"My... dad's?" I asked, choking on the words.

"Yes. It was one of the things left in his desk after he was killed. I kept it because I thought you might want it." He kept talking but I tuned him out. To my surprise, I was very close to tears. I hiccupped and a few dribbled down my cheeks and dripped onto the carpet.

"Oh, dear," Harold said, concerned. "Are you crying?"

"Thank you," I said, hugging him tightly. He was taken aback for a moment and then hugged me back.

"Do you need help putting it on?"

"Yes please," I said, my voice cracking. He laughed and gently took it from me. I held out my wrist and he clasped it. It made a smart 'click' noise and I gazed at it. Overcome, I hugged Harold again. He patted my back, laughing. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back, looking me in the eye.

"He would be so proud of you," he said, smiling, getting a little emotional himself.

"I know," I said, giving him a watery smile.

I was about to floo to the Potters', but I paused. I was seventeen now. Theoretically, I could've just taken the test at the ministry whilst I was at work and it wouldn't be crazy if I just apparated to the Potter's house. I grinned, and exited the ministry from the ground floor, and spun on my heel.

I arrived in their front walk in a blur. I took a second to regain my balance and walked up to the door. I knocked and heard a flurry of movement. I waited, straining my ears. I door swung open.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Everyone yelled at me. I laughed. Everyone consisted of James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene, Fabian, Gideon, Frank, Alice, Scarlett, and Adriel. I was forcibly pulled inside and everyone congregated toward the kitchens where quite frankly, too much food lay ready to be eaten. There was also a cake, which was unfortunately not a large as the table, but certainly very large.

It was beautifully decorated. It was chocolate with chocolate frosting, but there were giant chocolate frosting roses and several different versions of chocolate sprinkles and mini chocolate chips. I was to cut the first piece. Everyone loaded their plates and we headed to the basement to watch a movie. I was instructed to pick. I chose The Sting.

James sat next to me on the couch, wrapping his arms around me. The movie started and I leaned further against him.

"Thanks for this," I whispered.

"No problem," he smiled and kissed the top of my head. I had never felt more comfortable with a group of people. These were my real friends, and this was the best birthday party I could've hoped for. I'm not going to lie, the movie was good, but it was so warm and it had been a long day and I was cuddling with James, that I almost fell asleep.

I didn't though, and right as the movie ended I was jolted. I was to open everyone's gifts. I grinned and rolled my eyes at their teasings as I sat on the couch and everyone sat around me in a semicircle like it was kindergarten and they were sitting on the carpet for storytime.

From Fabian and Gideon, I received very similar gifts, which were a huge bag of various candies and far too many Zonko's tricks. I was very excited to use them. From Scarlett I received a slew of very nice makeup, very expensive stuff, I could tell by the look on Marlene's face. From Alice, I received a new book and from Frank, I received a very cool leather notebook with cold-pressed paper. The cover was intricate and had a stone set in the centre.

From Mary, I received a large bag of chocolate and a new cookbook written by Julia Child called _Mastering the Art of French Cooking_. From Marlene, I received a collection of simplistic sweatshirts with illustrations things like tomato vines, dandelions, fanged leaves, blueberries, and a spray of Baby's Breath flowers. I adored them all. From Lily, I got a typewriter over which I squealed probably a bit too much, but I was so very excited. Adriel gave me a very interesting board game called _Codenames_ which looked incredibly fun and we'd probably get to playing before the night was over. Peter gave me a bunch of candy and a new book I'd been wanting.

Remus gave me two new books and several of my favourite kind of chocolate bar. Sirius gave me a leather jacket, which I dutifully put on and immediately felt ten times cooler, just as he boasted. James was last, as he had requested. He pulled out a small box and for one fleeting moment I thought he was about to propose, but before I could even panic, he opened it and revealed a necklace. I let out a quiet breath of relief but gaped at the piece of jewellery on its little satin pillow.

It had a dangling daisy at the bottom made of white glass, it looked like. As I looked closer I saw the gold chain wasn't a chain at all, but a string of the words 'I love you'. I was immediately transported back to the night when I could not formulate those words. The night when I laid everything on the line and showed James how I felt. James smiled as though he knew what I was thinking.

And of course, he remembered that my favourite flower was daisies from our picnic date all those months ago. I was speechless. He chuckled and clasped it around my neck. I flung my arms around him and kissed him.

"Thank you," I said, pulling back.

"Yeah," he said, a little breathless.

"Merlin," Marlene grumbled, under her breath. I grinned.

"Alright, alright. Come on, let's play this board game, shall we?" I grinned.

It turned out to be a very intense night. I accidentally fell asleep and so did everyone else. I had to wake up earlier because I had work, and so I left. Not before giving James a kiss.

After a full day of work, I had plans to meet up with Regulus. I sat down at the chair in Hogsmeade where we had become friends all those months before. A few more minutes and Regulus arrived.

"Hey," I greeted him.

"Hey," he grinned back. "Sorry I didn't come to your birthday party last night."

"Oh, James invited you? You should've come! It was so much fun," I grinned, but he shook his head.

"I don't really think I would've fit in. Plus, I didn't want to anger Sirius,"

"Sirius isn't allowed to get angry at you, not under my watch," I smiled, but he didn't return the favour.

"It's okay, I have your gift right here." He pulled out a plain bag with tissue paper sticking out of it. I prayed it wasn't something overly expensive. Regulus had that habit of buying things that were unreasonably expensive, but not noticing because he's rich and doesn't know how money works. Instead, I found a book=binding kit, complete with beeswax wax, an awl, string, leather and cloth, a bone folder and so much more.

"This is so cool!" I grinned, looking at everything.

"I thought you'd like to be able to make your own books," he smiled.

"Thank you!" I said, hugging him.

"There's also a guidebook with pointers," he said, pointing at the bag.

"You're a wonder," I grinned. He blushed.

When I returned home, I made dinner using a recipe in Julia Child's book and went to sleep. What can I say, I was tired.

* * *

**If I made Five Marauders merch on Redbubble (it's a pretty big if right now), what would you want? Sweatshirts that Iris wears, like "Witch." or would you want quotes from the story, or would you want me to illustrate something?**


	109. A World of Lasts

I was going to Hogwarts tomorrow. After my birthday, everything seemed to speed up. I had already packed and I was ready to go. Of course, the train didn't leave until 11:00 AM but I was saying my last goodbyes. All very happy. Goodbye to the wretched grey walls, the worn and flat couch, the cramped kitchen, the shabby bathroom. The only thing I was a little sad to say goodbye to was my bedroom. My beautiful, glorious bedroom. It was a small reassurance that my royal empress tree would thrive without me.

I made my favourite dinner to celebrate the end of an actually pretty okay summer, though, when I actually thought about it, it was only okay because of how much time I had spent away from home. I made baozi, a food originating from China, literally my most favourite food in the world, it's just very time-consuming. I use a basic recipe, but even so, it takes around two hours.

At four in the afternoon, I started with my dough. All it is if flour, yeast, sugar, and oil. While I mixed I added a little bit of water every so often. I kept kneading until it became very smooth and light in colour and perfect. I then set it aside to rise for about an hour.

I moved on to the filling. I would be making a pork-based filling, mixing it with oyster sauce, salt, and Sichuan pepper. I mixed it all together and added a bit of stock. I quickly stir-fried a bit of grated carrot and onions, adding that to my mixture and adding chopped coriander.

Once the dough was done rising, I kneaded it again and cut it into little balls, about the size of a large grape. Then, I grabbed my rolling pin and set to work, spinning the dough and flattening the edges. This was called the wrapper. I put a dollop of the filling in the middle and began the tricky business of crimping it. Once done, I had eight buns. I set them aside to sit for fifteen minutes while I got the steamer basket ready.

I lined the bottom with parchment paper, and once the buns were done sitting, I carefully placed them in the basket, filling the put below with cold water, so the buns would cook more evenly. They'd cook for around sixteen minutes. I would be serving them with soy sauce.

The aroma that filled the house was simply delightful. Mum even came to the dinner table sooner than usual. I set the table and we ate. I ate four, which was probably a mistake, but a wonderful mistake. Mum ate two, and I save the other two for my late breakfast for tomorrow.

Mum went to bed and it was just me. I had purchased a pint of ice cream, fudge brownie chunk and delighted myself in sitting on the porch, watching the stars, eating to my heart's content.

There was much to think about. This was seventh year, my last at Hogwarts. Had I figured out what I wanted to do for a career? Most people assumed I would be joining the ministry full-time, but even just thinking about that made my tragically disappointed. I didn't want anything to do with the ministry, but I had no real talents except being bookish and studious. Perhaps even intelligent if I was feeling brave, but those didn't really do you much good unless you used it for something specific.

I'd thought about minister actually. I knew enough about politics and I'd been pulled aside a couple of times by the people who helped Harold do his job. They recommended me pathways that could get me there, but I wasn't sure. I enjoyed politics I supposed, but I wasn't sure I could handle the pressure.

I could attempt to become a professor, but that meant possibly leaving the country. Of course, there were other schools besides Hogwarts in the UK, but I didn't know much about them. What class would I want to teach? Would I be able to do that anyway? Teach? Imagining myself standing in front of a blackboard with severe glasses in front of a hundred eleven-year-olds didn't seem right either.

I could become a historian, or an archaeologist, or a master class dueller if I really tried. I could become a potioneer, I could open a shop, or learn how to make wands or brooms. I could invent something, or study a magical animal, or become a curse-breaker, something that'd always intrigued me. I could become a healer or a world-class quidditch player. I could work for a newspaper, I was good with deadlines and writing. There were simply too many options.

I wondered if I'd know by the end of seventh year. Based on what professor McGonagall had told me, based on the classes I had taken and how well I'd performed in them, I had many, many options. James knew exactly what he wanted to be; an auror. The idea scared me, I'll admit.

And what with that? What would happen with me and James once we graduated? Life could pull us apart and we could become distant. Our world could be even closer to war than we are now. Not just that, what would happen with my mother? I'd have to stay with her certainly. Would I have to forever? Would I be forced to put her in a home? It might be better for her, maybe be better for me, but who knew? Everything seemed so uncertain, but one thing I knew for sure, was that I felt the best I ever had.

I had friends. I had support, and while that had the potential to disappear after we all graduated, at least I had them now.

It was a little odd how soothed I felt by the loud noises and shouts and sooty smoke from being on platform nine and three-quarters, but I was soothed nonetheless. There was the train, scarlet and beautiful. Here were the throngs of people I missed. I pushed my cart to the train, but before I got there, a pair of arms wrapped around me and lifted me up. I laughed.

"James, let me get to the train, for Merin's sake."

"Sorry, wanted to say hello," he grinned at me, taking one of the handles of my trunk and helping me lift it in. We chattered as he led me to where he and the others were sitting. I lifted my trunk up into the overhead compartments and sat down, glad to be among my friends once again.

"I'll bet she's a Hufflepuff," James whispered.

"How can you tell?" I asked. He nodded at a new first year girl who was staring at the ceiling in awe.

"I dunno, I just know," he grinned. I shook my head.

"I'll bet you anything she's Slytherin."

"No, you're dead wrong, she's definitely Gryffindor," Sirius interrupted. She perked up when her name was called and she scurried to the hat. Professor McGonagall dropped it over her head. A few seconds ticked by and then—

"SLYTHERIN!" the hat yelled. I grinned at the two boys who were looking a bit miffed.

"Milburn, Harper," professor McGonagall called.

"Oh, Ravenclaw for sure!" James yelled. The students around us who heard, giggled a bit.

"Nope. Gryffindor!" I grinned.

"Slytherin," Remus said, adding in.

"Yeah, Slytherin!" Sirius agreed.

"GRYFFINDOR!" announced the hat.

"How are you so good at this?" James asked. I just smiled and winked.

"Gryffindor!" Sirius yelled.

"Hufflepuff!" I said.

"I'm with Iris on this one," Remus said.

"Nonsense, Ravenclaw!" James yelled, confidently. Peter nodded, agreeing with James but being too shy to yell out.

The boy sat down and the professor dropped the hat.

"HUFFLEPUFF!" it announced after a moment or two.

I somehow managed to get most of them right, only missing two. Coincidentally, those two were also the two were all five of us simultaneously agreed. After the sorting of course came food, which I partook in greedily, barely bothering with the actual dinner food and going straight for a chocolate souffle instead. James laughed at me and did the same.

Everyone in the hall simply gorged themselves because now was simply the time to do it.

Dumbledore made his speech, and everyone was ushered to bed. Lily and Remus had been made Head Boy and Head Girl, a fact which we planned to tease them relentlessly about because we knew they would hate it. But, right now we were too tired and too full for poking fun. I was just ready to sleep. And sleep I did, do deeply in fact, that I almost slept through my alarm clock the next morning.

At breakfast, James reminded me that we were now down two players at the Prewtt twins had graduated last year and tryouts would take place the coming Saturday, which was in two days.

Being a seventh year was nice. I had two study periods which meant I only had two classes per day. When McGonagall handed me my schedule that morning I had thought there had been a mistake.

"No mistake, miss Brooks. That's just what happens when you don't fail classes," she gave me one of her rare smiles and moved on. Even the classes I did have were relatively easy. They were just common core, so charms, potions, transfiguration, etc.

Us Marauders took full advantage of the warm weather and extra time. We all hung out by my tree, just loping around chatting and planning. Life was about plans now. When we were gonna do a day from now, a week, a month, a year.

"Life has a habit of throwing unforeseeable events at you," I said, hanging upside-down from one of the lower branches. James tried to tickle me, but I fought him off. "I dunno, what're your guys' plans for careers?"

"Auror," said James and Sirius almost simultaneously.

"I've always thought professor would be interesting," Remus said, kicking a rock into the Black lake.

"Really? What'd you teach?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Theoretically, Defense Against the Dark Arts, but Charms would be fun too. I'm not sure. It's not even a for sure either, most places wouldn't want to hire people like me," he smiled that sad smile of his. A noncommittal shrug.

"Dumbledore'd hire you on the spot," I said, confidently. Remus just sorta laughed.

"What do you want to do, Iris?" Peter asked. I swung and sat up on the tree branch.

"No idea," I smiled.

"Minister for Magic!" James said, splaying his hands out as though displaying the Hollywood sign of it. I grinned.

"It's actually been offered to me a couple of times," I smiled. Sirius laughed.

"You're gonna be the youngest minister of all time and we're going to be scraping away, trying to make a living," he joked. I laughed.

"I'm not going to. It's a crazy job, being minister. I have neither the gumption nor the desire to take Harold's place," I said it with a smile, but I felt like I was grimacing. Nothing. I had nothing. "How's the new place, Sirius?"

Sirius had finally moved into his new flat. Originally, he was supposed to wait until October, the couple who had been living there before needed to leave earlier and so he had moved in just before school had started.

"Oh, it's great! I'll take you guys next Hogsmeade trip, it's perfect," he grinned.

"It's in Wimbourne, right?" Remus asked.

"Yup," Sirius said. Remus nodded.

"Cool."

I quickly noted how they interacted with each other. Clearly, I still had work to do on project wolfstar.

"Are, we going to do a start-of-school prank like we normally do?" Peter asked. I looked at James who was grinning.

"Oh, I've got a whole _list_ of ideas. You ready to hear 'em?" he glanced around devilishly at us. We perked up and sat to pay attention. "Number one; somehow fill everyone's shoes with pudding..."


	110. Beside Your Heart

Unfortunately, the shoe/pudding idea was scrapped as it was far too complicated, but what we did come up with was far better. We were going to talk to the house elves and convince them to make food, taste like other food. It was a basic idea, but when executed, it would be fantastic. Say, you wake up in the morning and you grab a glass of orange juice, nice, refreshing, tangy. You take a sip, but instead of the ticklish taste of orange, you get the taste of milk.

It was brilliant. And, it would last a whole day. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner would be fashioned the same way. It was an easy spell as well, we demonstrated it to the house-elves and they were able to re-create it with their own special elf magic, much different than wizard's magic, it actually worked far better for this. While our spell had every single apple taste like bacon, their spell would change the flavours of each individual apple, so one may taste like bacon, but another may taste like split-pea soup, and another taste like watermelon.

We woke up the next morning, bouncing with excitement. Lily noticed immediately.

"What start-of-school prank is going on now?" she asked, one hand on her hip and the other clutching her toothbrush which she was threatening me with.

"Sorry, Lils, can't understand you with all that toothpaste in your mouth!" I grinned and raced out the door, ignoring her muffled yells that followed me. James was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs as were the rest of the marauders. "Do we wanna go down now, or wait?"

"Now," Remus said, extricating himself from his conversation with Sirius. Sirius looked a little put-out. "Since breakfast isn't served all at once, we're gonna want to see the first few people's reactions."

"Great idea, Rem! Onward!" James said, grabbing my arm and linking it so we were marching down the hall. I laughed. He grinned and pecked my cheek.

"This is gonna be good," I said as we entered the hall. A couple of the very few teachers sitting up at the teachers' table gave us looks. A fantastic sign. There was a smattering of students around, all looking either confused or determined. Some looked as though they had just lost a lot of money to a bet.

We sat down and each of us grabbed something. I grabbed a strawberry and we quietly counted down. At one, we each took a bite. My tastebuds were doing a very peculiar thing. Instead of the tart, sweet, flowery taste of a strawberry my brain had been expected, I got the salty taste of a boiled egg. I almost gagged it was so weird. James had made a puckered face when he bit into a flapjack.

"Taste like lemon," he said. Sirius looked pleasantly surprised with his slice of ham.

"I got a chocolate chip muffin,"

"I think it's celery?" Peter mentioned, inspecting his toast with a raised eyebrow.

"Fillet," Remus said, wrinkling his brow at his slice of orange.

"Boiled egg," I said, dropping my strawberry onto my plate. We then proceeded to dare each other to eat multiple things at once. It was odd putting marmalade on toast. Peter got lucky with his second try. The toast tasted like raspberry and the marmalade like chocolate sauce. When I tried biscuits and gravy I got a really odd combo; custard and steamed broccoli.

It was fun, and as more people trickled in, it was fantastic to watch their faces. Thankfully, after someone realized they'd been pranked, they seemed keen on the idea of being quiet about it and pranking their friends. No prank is better than one where others can actively participate, that's my motto. It was wonderful when Lily walked in and grabbed her usual cup of tea. She added her honey, she added her lemon juice and took a sip. Her eyes widened and she spat it out.

"Oh! Gross, Lily!" I shrieked, wiping my face off with a napkin.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Lily yelled, her eyes, murderous. I held up my hands in defence.

"What'd it taste like?" James said, eagerly. Lily shot him a deadly look.

"I don't know! It was like cabbage and—and mustard, and cinnamon or something? Stop laughing, I'm scarred for life!" she said indignantly.

"I'd recommend holding off on combining things right now. Just take little bites of things," I winked at her. She stared at me, mutinously, but took my advice, taking the tiniest of bites from a muffin. She blinked and took another bite, larger this time.

What'd you get?" I asked my chin in my hands.

"Treacle tart," she supplied.

"Ooo a new one!" She gave me a look.

"As long as it's not all day, I'm fine," she said, pushing her hands against the table. I bite my lip to hide my laughter.

It was a great day. It took a while for people to catch on that something didn't taste the same way every time, but it was very funny. Kids who were gluten-intolerant were finally able to taste that absolute wonder that it bread, lactose-intolerant people finally being able to taste cheese and suffer no effects whatsoever, in fact, several students like this came up to us and asked us for the spell. We were all too happy to give it to them.

Other kids were royally pissed, some going so far as to refuse food for the rest of the day. Professor McGonagall had had enough complaints that day and soon got fed up.

"Oh grow up. If you're hungry take a chance, it's not that bad. Get over yourself," she said, her nose stuck in the air, the student in question pouting away. We all grinned and high-fived. The funny thing was Dumbledore didn't seem to notice. He ate what looked like normal meals and didn't so much a flinch, even going to far as combining things and remaining un-reactant.

We had fun with it, there were games that had been made, bet and dares including combinations of foods, something amounting so as ten at once. That was very entertaining to watch. Gold and silver changed hands and everyone had a grand old time at dinner when everyone was together, us marauders pioneering a fair number of those games.

It was a good day, a fantastic start to the year. We celebrated in the boys' dorm, eating and drinking normal-tasting food and celebrating our coming back together for our last year at Hogwarts. I leaned against James, wrapping my arm around his waist, his around my shoulders. We talked about how easy classes were this year and how we thought our interviews with McGonagall was going to go. All seventh-year students would be having meetings with their head-of-house the next week so that they could know what career they wanted to head into and so they could get assistance and references from the people they needed to.

I was apprehensive, to say the least. I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I only hoped McGonagall might be able to help me.

"I think he's avoiding me," Lily said, hastily adding gurdyroot into her potion and stirring. She looked concerned, she was biting her lip.

"Nonsense," I said shaking my head. "Why would he do that?"

"Well, about a week before leaving for Hogwarts, he stopped owling me. I just assumed it was because he was busy with last-minute shopping and the like, but I dunno. Whenever I talk to him, he smiles and then makes an excuse as to why he can't talk long and he leaves. He hasn't even kissed me like he usually does when he says goodbye!" she was, of course, talking about Regulus. My eyebrows furrowed.

"I can talk to him if you want. This doesn't sound like him at all," I said, stirring my potion as well. Lily's face broke, relieved.

"Oh, thank you. I didn't want to say anything in case he's going through something or I'm just reading him wrong..."

"Don't worry. I'll talk to him." I smiled like nothing was wrong and Lily needn't fear, but in the pit of my stomach, a ball of apprehension knotted itself. It was small. For now.

"Hey, Reg!" I said, running up to him in the hall. He turned and smiled. "Can we talk for a bit?" I said, a little breathless from my quick sprint.

"Sure," he nodded. I grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty classroom. He looked a little nervous, fiddling with the button on his satchel. There were shadows under his eyes.

"Are you okay? You look a little under the weather," I said, pursing my lips. He laughed.

"It's fine, I didn't get to sleep until late last night, I was staying up with my dormmates." I smiled and nodded, willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Well, actually I wanted to talk to you about Lily. Has something happened? She feels a little... ignored." His face fell.

"Oh..." he grimaced. "I didn't mean for that to happen. Things got busy the week before school, and on top of that, my mum is trying to convince me to take up a government job, but I don't want to and I'm in fifth year! I don't have to be thinking about that yet! I've been stressed, I really need to talk to her," he said, running his fingers through his hair. I put a hand on his arm and his tension eased. He looked at me.

"That's okay! Just explain that to her." I said, nodding. I was halfway out the door before I turned back toward him. "Oh, and make sure to give her a good kiss when you do." I winked.

James and I had been spending a lot of time together, now that we had two free periods. Granted, our interactions were less... intimate than they had been able to be during the summer, but it was fantastic to talk for hours on end. We cuddled a lot and I slowly slacked off on my homework a bit, preferring instead to fall asleep with James' arm around me.

We both had something specific on our minds when we hung out together, but neither wanted to bring it up just yet. It was the question of what would happen to our relationship when we graduated Hogwarts.

There were plenty of couples, who after graduating, rented an apartment and moved in with each other. Some even went so far as to immediately getting married, but what happened in most cases was my worst fear. They grew apart and eventually broke up, moving on to bigger and better things, better people. This idea scared me. All the options scared me. Even more than that, knowing that I had my mum to care for, I was terrified we'd end up as the latter.

Yet, I lacked the courage to voice my concerns and fears, electing to put them off until much later in the year. At least until after Christmas. I could tell James had been thinking similar thoughts, based on the way he zoned out, watching me, thoughtful. He was making decisions in his brain, writing a road map. If only I could bring myself to do that.

All I could do was think and then worry and then hide my worry and then feel guilty afterwards. Sure, there were genuine times when I would forget my worries and simply talk and joke and dream with James, but the struggle of my thoughts knotted itself into the Regulus knot, along with the worries for my job. It was growing larger.

I just wanted things to work out. I watched the interactions of others. I watched Marlene watch Scarlett and Scarlett smile at Marlene from afar. I watched Sirius' flirtations with Remus and Remus' immediate dismissal of these as platonic, while at the same time being tall and cute and intimidating for Sirius. It was cute.

"Do you know how much I love you?" James asked me, one quiet night as we lay together in his bed. His hangings were drawn, but the light from the moonbeamed window was enough to illuminate us through the cracks.

"I'd like to imagine I do, but if it's as much as I love you, I can't comprehend it," I clutched him tighter. He laughed, his quiet rumbling laugh, rocking me. The bed creaked. He held me tighter.

"It's so much. I can barely contain it. It's just—just in me and it aches because it's so full. Do you get what I'm saying?" It was my turn to laugh.

"Yes. I feel it. Right here," I said, placing his hand on my chest just barely to the lower right of my heart. He smiled and guided my hand to where he felt it. Right in the same spot. We lay there for a few moments feeling each other's heartbeat. James propped himself up, wrapping his arm under me. I looked up at him, my hands roving the back of his neck and thumbing across his face. He smiled and kissed me, deeply. All I could think was one thing;

I _never_ wanted to lose this.


	111. More Than Expected

"So, you have no idea," McGonagall said, flatly. I squirmed.

"Not exactly... I mean I have _some_ idea—"

"No, you don't." She raised an eyebrow. I sighed.

"I've been getting lots of suggestions,"

"Of course you have. I'm sure with your ministry job it's come up a lot," she raised an eyebrow. I nodded my head, sheepishly. "I keep telling you," she said, referring to our Tuesday get-togethers. "You'd make a very good Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." 

"Yeah. I know," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. It didn't work. Professor McGonagall steepled her fingertips, gazing at me.

"I know this is a big decision, but you have plenty of options. Just look at this list you gave me!" She held up the long roll of parchment I had been instructed to bring. "Minister for Magic, ministry worker, professor, historian, archaeologist, master dueller, potioneer, entrepreneur, wandmaker, broom maker, healer, quidditch player, journalist, writer, curse-breaker, Iris, you've got options." She nodded, handing me my own list. I took it, less than gracefully. "You have lots of experience in a lot of different things, but maybe you're focusing too much on what you've already done. What are some hobbies you'd be interested in pursuing?"

I thought for a moment, coming up with nothing except more jobs people had suggested to me. McGonagall sighed and leaned back in her chair.

"Iris, I want you to think this out. Think less about the suggestions made to you and think about the things you enjoy, the things you could imagine yourself doing forever. You don't need to choose a career based on what you've already experienced. Have something new for me Tuesday."

And with that, it was over. I stepped out the door and let it shut behind me. I stood for a moment, contemplating my troubles. I began my walk to the commons, deep in thought. There was nothing. I truly felt at a dead-end in my life. Any job I could want had to pay enough to provide for my mother, but I also had to like it. It was a balancing act I wasn't prepared for.

A sound came from my right, a door I had just passed. I stopped when I heard it again and turned around. The door from whence the sound was issuing was slightly ajar.

"I can't do that. I can't do it!" A voice was murmuring over and over, getting more and more frustrated. More and more desperate. I recognized this voice. His voice dimmed as he continued talking to himself. I would've kept listening, but he was too quiet now.

"Regulus? Is that you?" I asked even though I knew it was him. I heard a shuffle and a dull slam as I pushed open the door further, stepping in.

Regulus stood, leaning against and table, holding something behind his back. "Are you okay? The only times I've ever seen you talking to yourself is during particularly difficult potions." I grinned. He didn't smile back. A bead of sweat trickled out of his hairline. I frowned. "Are you okay? Do you have a fever?" I walked forward, but he stepped back. The table squeaked against the floor. I stopped my advance, sensing his standoffish nature.

"I'm fine," he said, unconvincingly.

"Reg, do you need help—?"

"Nope, I'm fine. In fact, I need to go to my common room to do my potions homework. It's due tomorrow and I haven't even started it," he stammered, shuffling toward the door, turning so I couldn't see whatever was behind his back. Before I could say anything else, he was out the door.

I blinked, weirded out by his demeanour. What was up with him?

"Did you ever end up talking to him?" I asked Lily. We were sitting on the couch, doing our homework. Or, at least trying to. It was asking her about Regulus.

"I did, but he was a little pale and clammy. I assumed he was sick and not feeling well. The conversation was pretty short..." she said, shrugging, confusedly.

"He just seems to be acting weird all the time now," I frowned.

"You don't think..." Lily trailed off, giving me a knowing, worried look. I shook my head.

"No. There's no way." But we both knew there was.

"I'm worried about Regulus," I said, as Dumbledore's fingers steepled. Part of our arrangement was I no longer attended Order meetings. I didn't want to. Neither did Lily. We still met with Frank and Alice though, they were still helping me train Lily and advance my own skills. In order to fulfil my actual assignment, I met with Dumbledore to discuss students and those who were suspected to be linked with you-know-who.

"You always seem to bring him up. Is there anything, in particular, this time?" he smiled warmly, his eyes telling me he wasn't condescending, merely inquisitive.

"He's been acting a little— off, lately," I said. He tilted his head, waiting for me to elaborate. "He hasn't been talking very much to either of us and he's looked sickly the last few times I've seen him. He's tense," I pursed my lips. "He's been saying it's schoolwork, but I don't think he could be _that_ behind in just a couple weeks of school, could he?"

Dumbledore hummed, staring at one his many puffing, whirring metal trinkets, balancing acts every one of them. He idled in his answer.

"He behaviour is a little suspicious, I'll admit, but if he's still been making an effort to talk with you and miss Evans, I don't think anything is hugely wrong. Perhaps Mr Snape has been a little forthcoming in his advances, you should ask, but otherwise, we picked up on no suspicious escapades during his Summer break and he is in his fifth year. I'm sure you remember the stress of your fifth year." He smiled. "In any case, I wouldn't worry too much. Just be his friends and continue rebutting Mr Snape's advances on him. He's the one you ought to keep an eye on."

I nodded and stood, taking evidence of his tired eyes as a cue to leave.

"Good night, Miss Brooks,"

"Good night, sir."

(3rd POV)

Dumbledore waited for several moments after his door had closed. He fingers remained steepled, his eyes still fixated on one of his trinkets. It was emitting a blue smoke.

"Phineas?" he spoke. A snoozing portraits' snore greatened. "Phineas. Pay attention." Several of the other portraits had opened their eyes and were glaring in the direction of Phineas Nigellus' portrait. The snoring grew too loud to be true. "Phineas," Dumbledore hearkened firmly. In a great act of the theatrical, Phineas awoke, stretching and sighing.

"Very sorry, headmaster. Must've dozed off..." The portraits surrounding snorted and rolled their eyes, slumping back against their frames.

"Phineas, I need you to go to your other residence and inspect Mr Regulus Black's room, please. You know what to look for."

Phineas groaned and moaned, but he walked out of his frame and disappeared. Dumbledore turned back to his desk and re-steepled his fingers. Fawkes cried, softly. Dumbledore frowned.

(Iris' POV)

"What do you think?" James said, handing me the clipboard. I perused it.

"Merlin, do the others without me. I'll be napping in the stand until beaters," I groaned. He laughed.

"Oh, I can't have that. I'll go insane. Who're we going to start with?"

"Chasers first! Line up!" I yelled into the crowd. James smiled and bumped elbows. "Don't get too comfortable Potter, I'm still mad at your for scheduling this at _four in the morning."_ He just grinned.

Tryouts went reasonably. As expected, with our teams' age and experience, no one was replaced. All we needed were two new beaters.

"Alright, beaters line up here!" I called, motioning for them to stand on the line. "This is going to be a bit more tedious than our other ones, as once we have a few we like, we're going to have you tryout _with_ each other so we can see your chemistry. Up first, Felix Ward." A tall, gangly, knobbly-kneed boy stepped forward. He looked like the kind of kid you'd expect to shy away from this kind of thing, what with his platinum blond curls and bright blue eyes, but he stood very confidently, with a firm stance. He grinned and swaggered with a confidence unmatching his build and look.

He was a good six inches taller than James. Which meant he was four inches taller than Remus, which was mind-boggling.

He mounted his broom and took off, obeying James' every instruction flawlessly.

"He's good," James muttered.

"He's a third-year," I stared. James whipped around, staring at the clipboard.

"No way," he said when I pointed out the small black number. "That's insane." I starred his name on the clipboard.

We ran through fourteen other candidates. Jaimie Hazelrigg, Rudy Harper, Dante Fletcher, and Robin Kittridge were our top picks along with Felix Ward.

"Alright, we're going to run you with a few other people," I said, having dismissed the other candidates. "Hazelrigg and Fletcher first." We ran through a few combinations before both coming to the conclusion that we wanted Felix Ward on our team. Based on what we had seen from the other candidates, we had the couple we thought would work well with him in the air. Ward was stubborn, he didn't seem to work with the ones we thought. We put him and Kittridge in the air together because his biting style might go well together with Kittridge's fast pace, but instead, they were never where the other one needed them.

James and I soon became a bit frustrated.

"Who've we got left?" James murmured, having just instructed the two to land.

"Erm... Harper," I muttered. We gave each other identical looks. There was no way they would work well together. Miss Harper was... abrasive, to put it lightly. She had dark hair, thick and wavy by the looks of it, though it was pulled into one of the strictest buns I'd ever seen almost military style. She was a fourth year. She wore olive cargo pants and a band T for Led Zepplin. She was barely five foot and she was chewing gum. She looked to be of Indian descent. She looked like she could juggle insults and retain her dignity simultaneously. Her stare was not unlike professor McGonagall's.

There was no way she would get along with Felix.

"Harper, in the air," I said, nodding. Her expression didn't change but Felix's lit up, mischievously.

"Alright, you saw what I had everyone else do," James shrugged and let a bludger loose.

And a miracle happened. The second they both started flying, they became almost connected. They didn't even have to look at each other to know where the other person was. They just had to look at the other and they knew what each other was thinking. We had them land and Felix leaned his elbow on her shoulder, grinning. Rudy folded her arms and chewed her gum, her expression, unchanged.

James and I pretended to have a collected discussion but were instead freaking out a little bit.

"Holy hippogriff feathers, they're almost as good as the twins!" James whisper-shouted.

"I'd say just as good, they look like they've been flying together for years," we gave each other looks and then turned around.

"We have decided that our new beaters are Felix Ward and Rudy Harper," James said, clasping his hands. Felix grinned and lifted a hand to high-five Rudy who had donned a small, proud smile. "Thank you all for your participation." He dismissed the others and then walked up to our two new beaters. I accompanied him.

"We're very impressed, we didn't think you two would work well together, but your chemistry is amazing!" James waved his hands around. Felix was grinning.

"Oh, we're good childhood friends. Rudy's known me since I was born. We're basically family," Felix side-hugged Rudy, whose expression had returned to its normal stone-faced attention.

"I told him not to bring it up beforehand to avoid anything uncomfortable in the selective process," she rolled her eyes at him. Felix grinned.

"Ah, she just didn't want you guys to pick us two based on prior familiarities. Just skill," he squeezed her. She bore it.

"Well, you two are definitely a great fit for our team. We were worried we wouldn't find anyone as good as the Prewett twins, but you two might even be better!" James grinned. He shook hands with both and then somehow got into a lengthy conversation with Felix about professional quidditch.

Rudy and I exchanged looks.

"Men," I rolled my eyes.

"Agreed," she nodded. "Gum?" she asked, holding out a piece.

"Sure,"

"Boxing,"

"Boxing?" McGonagall repeated, an eyebrow raised just above the rim of her teacup. I nodded. She set down her cup.

"It's the only thing I like doing for fun. It's the only thing I could see myself doing forever."

"How will you turn that into a career?" McGonagall inquired.

"I could become a trainer. I'd either have to open a gym in the wizarding world or, there is a gym in my hometown that I could work at." McGonagall looked less than thrilled.

"Forgive me for my candour—"

"You think it's a waste of my potential," I nodded, sipping my tea. "I know. I agree, but the only way I think I could truly be happy is if I am in charge of myself. There's no job in the ministry like that except Minister, which is far too demanding for my taste, and if I worked in any of the other jobs we've gone through, I'd be tied down by someone else's jurisdiction."

Professor McGonagall's silence was enough to let me know she agreed. We sipped our tea.

"The only trouble I see is your restlessness. You are always doing something, always in charge of something. You are co-captain of the quidditch team, you are the head of an investigative group for the order, run by you now that you've overthrown Moody's and Dumbledore's authority," she smiled. "and you get almost straight O's because of your self-motivation for learning and reading as much as you can consume. You love working on things, you love being in charge of things and of people. You love danger, and while boxing has its occasional adrenaline rush, you won't be satiated."

I nodded, smiling grimly. She gave me a look.

"I know you aren't going to like this, but I think you should take up one of those offers to train you for minister." I set down my teacup and opened my mouth, ready to rebut, but her look silenced me. "You would make a phenomenal minister. Your grasp of the law and your strong moral compass, your thoughtfulness and urge to do a thorough job would all propel you to be one of the best ministers the wizarding world has ever seen. We need someone like that in the coming future."

I begrudgingly looked down into the grain of the table.

"Just give it a try. Heaven knows you may like it. It wouldn't surprise me."

Sensing my disinclination, we broke the subject of quidditch and chatted about that until eight-thirty.

"To be with you," she said, shooing me. I laughed, moving out the door. "I'll set up a meeting with the right people Saturday. Friday if I can manage it."

And that was that. Come the weekend, I'd be the new ministry-approved trainee for minister. I was _not_ excited.

* * *

**I drew this a couple years ago, but it was my inspiration for Rudy's character.**

[ **https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WyFv7wVyMU4J8hdhQGCaYGvjUVsadlol/view?usp=sharing** ](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WyFv7wVyMU4J8hdhQGCaYGvjUVsadlol/view?usp=sharing)


	112. Disillusioned

"So, you're going into a bit of training are you?" Adriel asked, reclining in the beanbag, hands under his head. I pursed my lips.

"This isn't for the article is it?"

"No, no. I wouldn't dare disclose that," he smirked. "but, asking as a friend, how do you feel about it?" I sighed and sank deeper.

"I dunno. I like politics in the theoretical of philosophy and thought-process and the debate, the ability to 'win' for lack of better word. But... it's _politics._ I feel being trained for a high-up position is corrupt in its core," I said, my brows furrowing. I was bound to get a headache from it.

"Well... this happens a lot. Before elections and all sorts of things, people are selected to be the best candidate by politicians, even if the general public isn't aware. That's just how things work." Adriel pointed out, setting his empty plate aside.

"I know... I don't know how to feel, honestly. My problem is I'm good at politicking and I generally enjoy it, but I don't think it's what I want to do for the rest of my life, y'know? I want to do something _else_ I just don't know what that is,"

"I get that," Ruth said, sitting on the tile in front of us, reclining on her hands. She'd begun to join our conversations after a while, warming up to the friendship. "I loved archaeology but I didn't know if that's what I wanted to do forever. I felt like I could do other things. I still feel that way sometimes, but I love this shop and it allows me enough freedom to do other things too. Maybe you need a job like that."

I nodded, deep in thought.

"I've been thinking about something like opening a boxing training facility,"

"There you go! A great idea," Ruther said.

"Yeah, but professor McGonagall says that's a waste of my potential, and honestly I sort of agree."

"You don't have to decide now, you've got time," Adriel reminded me.

"Yeah, I know. It just feels like I need to have an idea before I graduate. That's not too far away,"

"You'll find it eventually," Adriel encouraged. I found solace in the fact that both Ruth and Adriel were older than me but close enough in age that they'd felt exactly what I was feeling. They were right, I'd find out in my own time.

"Meanwhile, I still have this weird apprenticeship thing happening, and I still don't know how to feel about that," I groaned, leaning even further into the beanbag.

"Then don't. Don't make any emotional expectancy to it until the first time," Ruth advised. I nodded, miserably. We chatted a bit more, but they could both tell I was a little put-out. We got up and Ruth took our plates, giving us our goodbyes. Adriel tried for a kiss, but she swung out of the way, shaking her head. Adriel just smiled and joined me outside.

"When is this article coming out?" I asked before he turned on his heel.

"Probably Thursday," he nodded. I nodded back.

"Good night," I bid him.

"Good night," he smiled and apparated away. I stood for a bit, staring at the stars, before turning on my heel and wishing away.

I landed just on the outskirts of the Hogwarts grounds. I walked up to the castle, watching it grow larger and larger when I spotted a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye. I stooped, pulling my wand out of my pocket and watched the place where the movement had been, in a crouched defensive stance. I sat there, long enough for the muscles in my legs to cramp and for me to doubt if I actually saw anything when another flicker came from the same spot, just around the bastion to my left.

I cast a non-verbal disillusionment charm on myself, ignoring the silvery cool that ran down my body as I did so, and crept closer, careful to stay silent. As I crept closer, two voices grew. At first, I wasn't able to hear what they were saying until I got closer. Even so, they were quiet. I pressed against the stone wall and listened, straining to recognize the voices.

"—you promise you could. You said you could complete the task—!"

"I'm not done yet! The plan isn't finished, give me time,"

"You know I don't have the authority to give you that. Don't forget, I'm not the one in charge," the voice hissed.

"I'm not done. If he can't accept that, then—"

"Then you're dead. He'll kill you,"

"...He won't,"

"He will and you know it. The Dark Lord doesn't take well to pushed deadlines and half-baked jobs. You need to finish what you've started,"

I slunk closer, into the shadows, and I was immediately glad I did as Snape stalked past, his eyes fiery and angry. I had to clamp my mouth shut with my hand as Regulus slunk after him, cowed by the conversation. He must've seen the odd flash of movement. disillusionment spells are good, but not perfect. Instead of rendering you invisible, they just make you change to the colour and texture of is behind you. I saw his eyes flicker to the corner of shadows where I was hidden, but he kept moving, slinking after Snape like a sad dog.

I stood there for far too long, running and re-running the conversation in my head. Regulus was a death eater, or at least working with them. Snape was supposed to check in on his progress of some kind of project for You-Know-Who. The plan wasn't going well, they were off-schedule.

My heart sank into my stomach as I process this.

This is what Regulus had been hiding. It wasn't his schoolwork that was making him stressed, it was this project for the dark lord. I had to swallow bile when I realized how young Reg was. He was a fifth-year! He was sixteen. Granted one year younger than me, but to think that Voldy was using literal children disgusted me.

I had to tell someone. My first thought was Lily, and while she ought to know and she would find out sooner or later, she shouldn't be the first person to know.

Dumbledore. Dumbledore ought to know first. I sprinted to the castle, entering through a secret door from the outside instead of the front doors. I raced through the halls, trying not to over-analyze this new information. The information I'd been dreading to hear.

"STOP! Release your charm, you are out of bed past curfew!" A sharp voice came from an adjacent hallway as I raced past. I stopped and dropped my charm, coming face to face with Professor McGonagall.

"Please, professor," I said. She groaned when she saw who it was. "Professor, I need to talk to Professor Dumbledore."

"Iris, calm down," she said, stiffly.

"I am calm!" I yelled. She raised an eyebrow and I took a great hiccupping breath. I was surprised to find my face slick with tears. When had I started crying? I wasn't sure.

"Take a moment to collect yourself," she said softly, motioning for me to follow her to her office. She clapped her hands and the lamp on her desk switched on. "Sit." I sat, sniffling and attempting to regain control of my breath. She handed me a tissue and I blew my nose.

She bustled about and before long, set a nice hot cup of tea before me. I took it and sipped, revelling in its warmness. She sat in front of me, clasping her fingers upon her desk. She waited for me to talk. I took a few more sips and set down my teacup.

"I know who the student is. The one who's been attending death eater meetings," I said, blinking for slightly longer than necessary. "It's Regulus Black. I overheard a conversation between him and Severus Snape. They were discussing a plan. Snape has been instructed to oversee Regulus, to make sure he's on track. Regulus isn't on track, he's behind. Snape was warning him. That was everything I picked up from the conversation," I said, allowing one more hiccup and then breathing deeply. I closed my eyes, not wanting to be in the world right then. I had a headache.

"I'll pass this along to Dumbledore. You need to sleep," McGonagall said, standing.

"But, professor, I won't be fulfilling my... my duty as—"

"As Keystone?" she asked, lifting a severe eyebrow. I nodded, dimly aware of her concern. "I'm fully aware of your responsibilities, miss Brooks, and trust me when I say, declining your mental health is a hazard both to yourself and everyone around you. I can pass this along to Albus. You, need sleep. Go to bed," she said, urging me out the door.

"Thank you," I said, turning. She gave me one of her rare smiled.

"It is no trouble, Iris. Now, _sleep._ " and she shut the door.

I made my way to the Gryffindor common room and stared at my options. One; go to my own dormitory and sleep alone in my own pyjamas, or two, go to the boys' dormitory, sleep with James in one of his T-shirts.

I chose option two.

I snuck up, careful to avoid the creaky step, and cracked open the door to the boys' room. I slipped in and shut the door behind me, without so much as a click. I grabbed one of James' shirts, tossed over the footboard of his bed and changed into that. It smelled like him.

I tiptoed across the floor and pulled back the hangings of his bed. I slipped in and pulled the curtains back in place. James was dead asleep. He snored quietly, a bit of drool by the corner of his mouth. I smiled, tiredly and pulled myself under the blankets. James, either in his sleep or as slightly awake, shifted and before long, had an arm around my waist. I smiled, and soon fell asleep.

"Now, when did you get here?" I woke to the soft voice of James. I rolled over and rubbed my eyes to see a very bed-headed James. I smiled and ran my fingers through it. It was funny to see him without glasses.

"I got back late from my interview with Adriel and I didn't want to sleep alone," I said, smiling. He smiled back, lifting himself over me slightly and kissing me. It was a soft, sleepy kiss, but it was nice.

"It's early, we don't have to be awake yet," James said, checking his watch. I would've made fun of him for wearing it to bed, but I yawned, silencing my tease. He smiled. "Go back to sleep, we've got about an hour before we have to get up."

"Okay," I said, curling back up. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the back of my neck and my shoulder. I was asleep in minutes.

"Seriously; you own a bed," Remus said as I sat up listlessly, blinking at the sunlight siphoning through the room. I shot him a look. He just smiled.

"I don't want to go to class today," I grumbled, rubbing my eye with my palm.

"Then let's not!" Sirius said, playing his arms out. "it's a wonderful day to skip."

"Great idea," I said, pointing to him and collapsing back onto James' bed. James laughed.

"Now, hold on. Weren't you studying for a test happening today?" James poked my nose. I grumbled.

"I'm going to ace it anyway, why jeopardise my healthy state-of-mind for a test I could take tomorrow?"

"Valid argument, miss Brooks," Sirius teased. I shot him finger-guns from my horizontal position on the bed.

"You really want to?" James asked, poking my nose again. I wrinkled it.

"Without a question," I shut my eyes.

"Alright! You heard her boys! We're skipping school today!" James grinned. Sirius whooped. Remus rolled his eyes but laid back on his bed. Peter woke up.

"Go back to sleep, Peter," James grinned. Peter nodded and fell back onto his pillow, dead asleep in about 0.0001 seconds.

"Go back to _sleep_ James," I said, tugging on his collar. He laughed and shut the hangings around us. We ignored Sirius' whistle.

"Why sleep when we could _other things,"_ James suggested with a wiggled eyebrow. I groaned.

"Because those things take _work,_ " I mumbled.

"You're tired, aren't you?" James snickered.

"Nooooo..." I said, sarcastically, not even fighting to keep my eyes open.

"As you wish, m'lady," James said, kissing my forehead.

I was already asleep.


	113. The Absolutes

"I've been avoiding you," I said, plopping down beside Lily in the library. She raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," she laughed, dipping her quill into her ink well. She paused, quirking an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me why?" I didn't speak. She sat up straighter and dropped her quill into the ink well, giving me her full attention.

"...I really don't want to," I said, honestly. I looked her in the eye. "You might not want me to have when I do."

She hummed, nodding at my honesty and seriousness.

"But you will. That's why you've come," she smiled, calmly. I nodded, listlessly, staring at the sky outside the long window.

"Pack your things. We need to go somewhere private," I said, standing.

(THE DAY BEFORE)

I woke. James was on my right, arms wrapped tightly around me. I thought while I breathed. I didn't get very far, I heard rustling beyond the curtain. I carefully lifted James' arms off me and peeked out. Sirius has his hangings pulled open. He was obviously deep in thought. He was tossing that blasted rubber ball of his. Who knew how long he'd had it?

Feeling a prickle of guilt somewhere in my upper intestines, I gracefully crept out of James' bed, silently pulling the hangings closed. Sirius glanced over.

"Hey," he grinned. I smiled back, clambering, cross-legged onto his bed. He smiled. "I have to thank you for the sleep-in."

"Hey, it was no problem," I winked. A beat of silence. He tilted his head, much like a dog, actually.

"Are you okay? You look like you need to talk about something." He grabbed my hands. I tried to smile, really, I did. He brushed a lock of hair out of my face, looking more concerned than ever.

"Actually, I need to tell you something," I said, taking a breath. He furrowed his brows.

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

"No. What?! NO, no, of course not! Why would you think—?" I sputtered. He raised his hands, grinning.

"Sorry, sorry. First thing that came to mind." I shot him a death glare.

"No... it's something else," I pursed my lips. "It's about Regulus."

Sirius frowned, his grip growing a little tighter. I pulled my hands from his and his fingers curled into fists. I began to re-think the idea.

"Tell me," he sighed, his white knuckles, loosening. I bit my lip.

"Actually... I don't..." I took one look at him and knew I was too far gone. I decided to deflect for a bit. "Do you... pay attention to him?"

"I try not to," he said, honestly. "Did he hurt Lily? I swear to Merlin if he's done something to her, broken her heart—" I held up a hand, quieting his raising voice.

"No. No, he hasn't. Nope. It's something else,"

"Well? Spit it out," he said, sighing. "I'm sure whatever it is will make mother pleased, and as long as—"

"He's a death eater," I interrupted, abruptly. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for an outburst. None came. I peeked at him.

"He... what?" he said, weakly. It was my turn to clutch his hands.

"I—I don't know for sure, I just overheard a conversation between him and Snape, I could be totally wrong." I supplied, carefully watching his face.

"No. No, you're not." His voice was very low.

"Well— we don't... know for _sure,"_ I said, hastily.

"I need to find him," Sirius said, standing. I followed suit, putting my hands on his chest.

"No, you don't. You need to process,"

"I don't need to process _anything._ I knew this day would come," he growled. "Get out of my way."

"Oi, that's my girlfriend you're talking to," James said, sitting up, putting his glasses back on. He was glaring at Sirius. My eyes widened at him asking _how much did you hear?_ and his very obvious reply _I have no idea what's happening, but I feel a strange manly urge to protect you n' stuff._ I let out a huff of annoyance.

"Sirius. Listen to me when I say, you need to sit down and process—"

"What I need to do," Sirius said, knocking my hands away from him, "is beat the snot out of my dear brother."

James was standing now, standing beside me, in between Sirius and the door.

"I don't know what brought this on, but I think you ought to listen to Iris," James said, gripping Sirius' shoulder. Sirius growled. With one swift movement, he caught James' hand and my shoulder and pushed us aside, sprinting through the door. I followed, ignoring the confused shouts of James.

I followed after the barrelling Sirius, through the portrait hole, down three stories, through several secret tunnels and to the fourth floor. I lost him there. I spun around, trying to figure out which hallway he had escaped into before I heard loud voices to my left. I sprinted through and ran into a scene. Sirius was pinning Regulus to the wall, his wand to his throat. I pulled out my own wand and pointed it at Sirius.

"Sirius. Let him down," I said, calmly.

"No,"

I waved my wand, casting a non-verbal protego. Sirius was slammed into the adjacent wall and held there by an invisible barrier. Regulus crumpled to the ground. Before I could get to him, he stood, pulling out his own wand.

"Reg, please don't," I said, pushing down his arm. He was staring, terrified at Sirius on the ground, wiping his mouth, mutinously.

"He wasn't supposed to find out," Regulus whispered. He reverted his gaze to me as well the tip of his wand. I raised my hands, taking a step back. His eyes reminded me of someone... "Neither were you."

"Regulus, don't do this. Think this through." I said, calmly. I didn't notice Sirius had released the charm around him. He stood and punched Regulus so hard he fell to one knee. I shouted something incomprehensible, before Sirius bore upon Regulus, beating him bloody.

"Sirius, stop!" I screamed, pointing my wand at the two of them, but not knowing what to do. Regulus was fighting back, though he wasn't nearly as strong. "Stop!" I yelled, entering the fray, myself, pushing them apart. I shoved Sirius to the wall and held him there, holding up a hand to halt Regulus.

"Stop fighting," I growled. "Sirius, you bloody fool, if you don't stop at once..." I didn't have to finish my sentence, he slumped beneath my fistful of his shirt. "Regulus," I said, turning my attention. "I don't have anything to say to you. Except that I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Regulus stared at the floor but looked up when I'd finished.

"How'd you find out?" he croaked. I shook my head.

"I'm not going to tell you," I said, determined to keep my voice from cracking. A flash of... something ran through his eyes.

"You're a coward," Sirius spoke up. I dug my elbow into his chest. He glared at me.

"Yeah? And what are you?" Regulus retorted. "A disappointment."

"I'm _glad_ to be a disappointment. If only you were brave enough to do the same," Sirius spat.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Regulus said, more wrath in his eyes than I had ever seen. "I am helping the plan to re-create the world. And _you._ Have done nothing except rely on the help of others. You're weak, unable to stand for yourself."

"Friends are there to help, if you only ask," I said, avoiding his look.

"Iris, I... I didn't mean,"

"It is what it is, Reg," I said, turning to him, allowing him to see my disappointment. I refused to cry over him more than once. "But you know what? It's not too late. I'm still..." I paused. "I'm still your friend." My voice cracked.

"How can you be?" he said, staring at the cobblestones supporting him. I looked down at my feet.

"Sirius, go back to our dorm. I'll fix you up there," I said. Sirius heeded my words. He slumped away, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. I turned back to Regulus.

"It's not too late. The Order of the Phoenix can help you," I said. "Keep you safe." He scoffed.

"What's the Order of the Phoenix done except sit and do nothing? They're too clouded with their own greatness to see what they could do with their influence. They take in the weak and poor and huddled masses, forgetting that those people wouldn't exist if only they actually tried to fix the world. That's what the Dark Lord is doing. He's getting to the _root_ of the problem. Just open your eyes,"

"I have. What's Voldy done with his power except corrupt and murder? How can you justify that?" I shook my head.

"I can't. He deals in extremes, but sometimes it's the extremists who succeed. Revolution, rebellion couldn't succeed with a little bit of persuasive violence," he challenged.

"You're scaring me, Reg. This isn't you," I said, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Iris," he said, shaking his head. "This is who I've always been."

I returned to the dorm to find Remus sitting next to a shattered Sirius. I stood in front of him, my arms folded. He glanced up.

"Iris... I can explain—" I held up a hand.

"You don't have to. Just know, I think that was very stupid of you," I said, he looked down at his clasped hands again. "But, I understand why you felt like that."

I began the task of healing him, watching Remus' hands with his.

"Next time just listen to me? I was going to let you go ham on the punching bag in the quidditch room," I smiled as he perked up.

"Hopefully there won't be a next time," James spoke up from his bed. I nodded in agreement. I glanced up at him. He nodded his head back. I got up, leaving the rest of the healing process to Remus. James stepped out of the room and I followed. He shut the door.

"What's going on?" he asked. I shook my head, hugging my arms around me.

"...Regulus is... making his family proud," I nodded, leaving it at that. James put a hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes. I smiled, sadly. He pulled me in and held me tightly. I breathed, taking in his cologne and his warmth. It was what I needed.

(PRESENT)

We'd found an empty classroom to discuss. Lily took it surprisingly well. She cried a bit, and I cried with her, but as soon as she'd dried her tears, she was back to business.

"Have you told Dumbledore?" she asked. I nodded.

"Well, indirectly. Professor McGonagall grabbed me before I could talk to him, but she told him."

"Good," she said, nodding. "What is your job now?"

"It should still be the same. I still need to protect other students, although I suspect they won't be working on that so heavily now that they have all of Snape's crowd. We still need to take note of their goings-on. Snape and Regulus were discussing a plan that wasn't going well when I overheard them. We need to investigate that and put a stop to that."

"Okay. Sounds like a plan. Does this mean we have a meeting with Dumbledore sooner than Tuesday?" she asked. I shrugged.

"He hasn't owled me, so I assume not,"

She got up to go, but I grabbed her elbow and pulled her back down. She looked at me, curiously.

"Are you going to talk to him?" I asked, quietly. I heard her suck in a breath.

"Not yet. I don't think I can—" a ghost of her being choked-up resurfaced. "face him yet." I rubbed her back as she bit her lip, closing her eyes, trying not to cry again.

"I made sure to tell him that I was still his friend. I even offered him protection, I told him the Order could help him, but he refused. It's just good to keep windows open for him, he may come crawling through, begging for our help," I smiled.

"We can only hope," Lily whispered. I squeezed her tight.


	114. Stalemate

I was at a little bit of a stalemate with Regulus. I was pretty uneven, however. I'd already let out that he was a death eater. He could reveal at any second that I was a member of the Order. He didn't though. For whatever reason, he kept silent. I was thankful. Of course, he could be keeping it quiet to hold it over me later, but for some reason, I didn't think that was the case.

We weren't really friends anymore, no matter what I told him. We were equals. We were on two equal sides. We were wary of each other but we had a mutual respect for the other. Lily refused to talk to him for a good week, unable to properly look him in the face, but after that, she told me they managed a short, professional conversation. Regulus didn't know Lily was also in the order, but he knew he wouldn't like he was a death eater.

She didn't tell me what they discussed, but I imagined she made a very good point that she was a muggleborn and therefor the exact kind of person Voldy was looking to either kill or rope into servitude. I don't imagine Regulus had much of a retaliation.

Unfortunately, this wasn't the only stalemate I was in.

"Look. Voldy can't help you here. In fact, it looks like he isn't too eager to do so." I was speaking with Osumare. She still refused to respond to anyone besides me. I was her primary interrogator, though there wasn't much I had managed to interrogate out of her. She was still acting like her normal self, not like she was imperioused, but she still refused to give us information. She wanted to use it to release her, but that wasn't happening. Not until we could positively conclude that she wasn't imperioused. Plus, we couldn't let her go if she _wasn't_ imperioused, because the moment we did, we'd have to properly arrest her for withholding evidence. Get the ministry involved.

But she didn't have to know that.

"I think you and I both know that isn't true," she said, inspecting her fingernails. She smiled her devilish smile.

"Really?" I asked, sceptically. "It's been nine months since we've apprehended you and we've received no notes, no messages, no attacks... Voldy doesn't seem too bothered to get you back. And so long as you keep withholding evidence, we're not letting you go." I said, leaning in, toward the bars. Osumare simply bit her tongue, smiling her devious smile. I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms. "If you remain useless to us, we might just turn you in to the ministry. I'm sure a couple of dementors could loose your tongue."

It was not the first time I had brought up the ministry threat. I _was_ the first time I had brought up dementors though, and even though Osumare clearly hadn't experienced the misery that were dementors, I didn't miss the swallow and clearing of throat she performed, nor her avoiding my eyes. She straightened her back.

"Oh, I can still be useful to you," she said, clearly, looking me directly in the eye, mimicking the attentiveness of a confident person, but I knew she was at least a little nervous. I smiled.

"Fantastic. First; tell me exactly how much Voldy knows about me and my mission," I said, taking out the secret jokebook-but-not-really notebook and a pen. She laughed.

"Oh, that's too juicy, I'm not revealing that just yet," she smiled. I nodded, closed the book with a snap and got up, turning my back to her cell.

"Then you're useless," I said, walking away.

"Wait! Wait," she said. I turned back around. "There are other things you might be interested in..." I snorted.

"I doubt it. Anything else we could get from other sources," I said, about to turn away again.

"No! I can tell you the Dark Lord's plans for Severus Snape," she said. I paused, not turning back to her. "I know you're interested in him. It's your job to watch him, right?" Her tone was a little more desperate. Her reasoning was solid, but it wasn't the reason I was tempted. If she knew about Voldy's plan for Snape, it could mean that she might inadvertently know the plan Regulus was involved in. If Snape had just added Regulus to his mission, I could thwart them before they succeeded. Of course, Osumare didn't know Regulus, he was a recent member. Maybe not recent, but he hadn't been a member nine months ago, that was for certain. I turned around, a confident grin on my face.

"Alright. Whaddya got?" I said, sitting back down. She smiled back.

I couldn't be sure if she was reliable. Even Dumbledore had his doubts, but she did raise some interesting theories, and actually confirmed a few things we'd received intel on. She didn't say too much, she was very tight-lipped, but it was enough. With her confirmation and little clues and hints, we managed to piece together Voldy's plans for his youngest members. Namely, Snape and Regulus, but we managed to piece together that while Dolohov and Rookwood were not yet members of Voldy's most trusted inner circle (they had not received their namesake tattoos) they were also in on the plan.

It was a shabby plan, truth be told. Moody brought up the very real thought that Voldy might just be trying to keep us busy, focusing on one place, whilst he muddled in the corner, planning something far worse. Far more devastating. It made sense. All the sparse attacks against me, keeping me on my toes, all of that could be tallied up to him making the order focused on my mission to distract us from something far worse.

The plan Osumare had described, was one to get rid of me. Off me, if you will. Voldy himself had said I was his main target as of late, although that had been nine months ago. He wanted me out of the picture. Osumare had supplied the reasoning behind that, that I was thwarting his plans to fully invade Hogwarts with his mentality and ideas. None of us really bought it. It did confirm professor McGonagall's suspicions, however. It seemed it was a good idea I wasn't going on missions anymore.

They were trying to essentially ambush me? It was a little muddled. Osumare didn't know much, she'd been imperioused, so she only had snippets. At least we knew they were actively trying to kill me, or in some other way, incapacitate me. How? We didn't know. But it was good that so many school professors knew now. They were on my side. They'd be able to help me.

I was to always have a member of the order with me unless I was in the Gryffindor common room. Which meant Lily had to be at my side at all times. That, or I managed to get them to agree that if I had all four marauders with me, the death eaters plus wannabes wouldn't attempt anything against me. It wasn't too much of a difference from my normal schedule, actually, although that did mean I'd have to figure out a way to convince James that it was fine if we had our dates in the common room. That'd be difficult, but not impossible.

I wasn't very worried, all things considered. I'd taken on a whooping willow, a werewolf, and Snape simultaneously. I'd fought off two death eaters while jumping up an elevator shaft. I'd survived being kidnapped and poisoned by Voldy himself, kidnap one of his own followers, and successfully interrogate her. I felt fine. I felt prepared. I knew my stuff, I was good in battle, I was good enough to be teaching Lily. Moody was satisfied with my progress without him. I felt good.

"I don't see the point," I said, miserable. Harold smiled.

"I know. I'd give you advice, but I never went through this stuff," he said. I gave him a look. "What? I was just what the public wanted. Someone strong, abrasive, willing to take on the problems at hand. I wasn't considered a candidate before then so they never 'trained me up'."

I wasn't very happy with his reply and he could tell. He sighed.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, it's not for that long. Most of this stuff, you already know from me." We reached the correct door. The plate read 'Ernest Solwig'. He was a member of the minister's supporting staff, the group of which I was included, as was the secretary and various other helpers, but I had never met Ernest before.

Harold knocked and before he'd even finished, the door whipped open, revealing a young man. He was much younger than I'd expected, I'd imagined him to be a middle-aged man, someone with sure experience. Ernest was none such. He looked to be at least twenty-three, oldest, maybe twenty-six, but that'd be pushing it. His hair looked like it was still deciding on what colour it wanted to be. It was brown in the shadow of his door, but when he stepped out into normal lighting it looked a dark ginger, but after he beckoned us into his room, the sunlight from the 'window' (it was a fake window, just like all the windows in the ministry. Because we were underground, the windows were charmed to show a fake outside) his hair looked almost blond at the tips.

He had a square jaw and a very pointed, defined chin. He had large lips and thick brows and lashes. He wore the red robes everyone from this department wore, but underneath I could see tidily pressed khakis and a very nice sweater; navy with yellow embellishments. He wore brown dress shoes and mustard coloured dress socks. He sat with an authority, unlike his age. He looked like a down-to-business guy, serious, and... for lack of a better word, privileged. Like he hadn't truly earned his station. His office was very ostentatious. I disliked it. Books sat of shelves that were well-dusted, but looking as though they'd never been cracked open. Awards sat on a shelf behind him, glinting in the sunlight.

I hadn't noticed it before, but he was smoking a cigarette, one of the kinds that were charmed to smell pleasant. He obviously smoked a lot, and it irked me that his teeth were so pearly white. I didn't trust him.

The chairs sitting in front of his desk were shorter-backed than his own and dreadfully uncomfortable. His looked like the softest, squishiest thing ever to be sat upon. I _really_ didn't trust him.

Harold, of course, was in his element. He thrived where people didn't want him to. He was like a weed in an otherwise perfectly manicured yard. He was stubborn enough that he wouldn't give you the satisfaction of your perfection. I respected him for it, but at the moment, I felt it made me look weak. I sat up straighter, ignoring the amused look from Ernest.

"... she already knows the ins and outs of the office and all the paperwork I have. She knows interview situations and meetings and courtrooms. She knows shorthand and everything else I've taught her. Just the usual stuff you pick up from being surrounded by politics."

Ernest was nodding, but he wasn't really listening. He was watching me, his eyes roving lazily over me, inspecting my posture and general happenstance. Smoke trailed from the end of his cigarette. Harold had fallen silent.

"Well, if that's all, I'll leave you to it," he said, standing. We bid him goodbye. Harold inched out, shutting the door behind him. Silence pervaded the room. Ernest contained his curious yet demeaning stare of me. I stared defiantly back. He cleared his throat, grinning, speaking up.

"I dunno if there's much I want to teach you—"

"I dunno if there's much I want to be taught," I said, stony-faced. He grinned, shaking the end of his cigarette at me. He chuckled, looking down at his desk.

"I'd say I like you, but I don't," he said, smiling. He stood, walking over to me, leaning against his desk, watching me from a different angle.

"The feeling's mutual," I replied. The corner of his mouth curved.

"You'll make a 'great' minister, no doubt about that, but I think you're pathetic," he said. He walked slowly around my chair. It was unnerving to his voice behind me, but I refused to react. "Shying away from interviews. You're walked all over by reporters. You appeal to the public just because you're young and smart enough to be able to dumb things down for them. You've got all the right cards and you know how to play them, but I don't want to show you what to do once you get there. I think it'd be good fun to see you struggle and burn."

I blinked. I frowned. I narrowed my eyes. Fury ran through my veins. It took all my willpower not to clench my fists.

Ernest sat back down in his chair. He snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray on his desk and steepled his fingers. He looked at me through hateful eyes. I glared right back.

If I hadn't wanted the minister position before, I wanted it now. I'd become minister just to spite this wretched man, and I'd be a damned good one too.

And they say spite isn't motivation.


	115. Soil and Tarnish

All I gathered from my short meeting with Ernest were my own shortcomings. He made a good point, the things that made me appeal to the public were short-lived. I was young, but that would change. They liked that I spoke simply, but once I was in the position (if that were to ever happen) they'd _want_ an eloquent, thoughtful, complicated thinker. They wanted someone who could speak as if they'd just made it up on the spot, someone inspirational.

That was the job of a minister, wasn't it? To inspire? To reassure?

The two things that so interested the public were my age and my simplicity, both of which would be useless to me in a ministering position. Youth spoke of inexperience. Simplicity spoke of inability. No one wants a minister who _can't_ or is too _scared_ or too _stupid_ to actually do their job. Ernest, in his endless superiority and laziness to _actually_ teach me, gave me no less than seven books to read. I didn't bother to mention to him that I'd already read five of them.

They were all on politics and the inner workings of the ministry, all things I could learn in History of Magic, indeed I had. He was determined to treat me like a child, someone who didn't already have experience. He was acting like I hadn't been working here for almost two years. And that I didn't understand how the government worked.

I shoved those books in my desk, intent on ignoring them, and instead, making a list of all the biographies and autobiographies I knew of that could teach me far more. Unctuous Osbert hadn't written a biography, but there were several autobiographies I knew of that I could read. Artemisia Lufkin had a biography, as did Ottaline Gambol, both of which I heard had fascinating terms. Evangeline Orpington I knew of, but not much, and, of course, Eugenia Jenkins, my second favourite minister in all of wizarding history. I held great respect for her.

With that matter all settled, I pocketed the list and set about re-writing my shorthand notes from a meeting the day before, the new copy to be sent off to several newspapers and Harold's personal filing cabinet.

The other thing I had learned from my meeting with Ernest, was who my competitors were.

"Competitors?" I laughed. He didn't. He sat on his desk, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Certainly. Surely you didn't think you were the only one who could assume the position?" he asked, his lips curling. I shook my head.

"Of course not. I was just inserted into the equation so quickly, no one really mentioned anyone else. Plus, there's not much gossip on this floor." I narrowed my eyes. He scoffed at the word 'gossip'.

"Yes, well. Naturally, you have opponents. Emanuel Glauber for starters, Gale Manganiello... Millicent Bagnold could be a big name too," he glanced at me. "Are you prepared?"

"Prepared?!" I said, standing finally ready to stand my ground. "That's what you're supposed to be doing! Getting me prepared." My voice was low. Ernest didn't react, instead, looking very unimpressed with my show. I pursed my lips and sat down. He drew a deep breath of his cigarette and blew out the smoke, lazily.

"My job," he said, slowly. "Is to guide you. I can't prepare you or teach you anything. That's all down to you. But hey! You're the only one getting special treatment!" he said, sarcastically, snuffing out his cigarette in his ashtray before it could burn his fingers.

"I still don't understand why all this has to start now. Harold isn't planning on stepping down until 1980! That's three years!"

"Think more like two. It's November right now, it'll be 1978 this January, and elections happen in the month of May of 1980. Two years." He said, gesticulating about, like a madman.

"Okay, fine, two years then! That's still a long time—!" I argued. He cut me off.

"Not in politics it's not! That's two years you have to get your act together! Two years to propagate! To campaign! To get your name and fame out there! Two years is _barely_ enough." he looked at me and sighed, seeming to consider on something. He took on a gentler tone. "Look. You play your cards right? And you could be the youngest minister in history." he took on his light, dismissing tone again. "This is the dirty side of politics. It's new territory for you. You have no idea how to handle this ugly, terrible, despicable side of politics. You need to be prepared to roll around in the mud just like all of us to get what you want. Soil and tarnish parts of your reputation. You're going to have to lie down and let people step on you from time to time. This is the hidden side of politics and it's not pretty. Get smart, get mature, and most importantly, _get dirty._ "

As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I was in uncharted territory for me. I had competitors. I didn't know what I was doing. After finish the notes, I went to Harold, determination fiery in my eyes.

Before the end of the day, I was invited to several political parties and get-togethers as Harold's plus-one. It wasn't much, but I needed connections before I could get to any of the good stuff. I couldn't give speeches or sign up for scheduled debate. I couldn't do anything yet. The only thing I could do now was become an MW (member of Wizengamot). I had to before running.

This was no easy process. The three other names Ernest had mentioned were already MW's. 

I had to pass entry requirements of course. I have to be seventeen years or older, be a British Citizen, a citizen of the Commonwealth or a citizen of the Republic of Ireland, and not have any criminal convictions, of which I qualified. Finally, to stand for a constituency, I have to pay a 300 galleon deposit and be elected by ten Wizengamot electors in that constituency. Anyone meeting these requirements can stand as an MW in either a General Election or a Bi-Election. The Minister for Magic ultimately decides who is added to Wizengamot, although Chief Warlock has some say too. Dumbledore was the current Chief Warlock, so that was good in my favour. I already had two votes for me.

After that, it was a matter of getting popular. Although the ministry hated to admit it, the public had a lot of sway in who became the new minister. Sure the members of Wizengamot were the ultimate decisions, but more often they went with public opinion. That was how Harold had been elected. He was the most popular.

Popularity could be achieved in multiple different ways. Thanks to my numerous appearances in meetings with Harold (of which I was often asked my own input), my personable interviews in the newspapers (both as general interviews and with the specific section with Adriel), and with the two very popular articles written about me when I was attacked at Hogwarts and put in St. Mungos and when I had battled two death eaters in the Ministry Atrium itself, I was already heralded as not only a popular and knowledgable figure but also as a heroine.

I was popular with the public. This was good. The dirty side Ernest had been talking about was different. I had to get popular with the politicians.

"Iris Brooks running for MW?!" James Potter exclaimed, yanking the newspaper from my hands. I'd barely been able to read the headline myself. This was not one of Adriel's articles, this was one direct from the gossip section of the Daily Prophet.

"Oh, do be quiet about it, will you?" I scolded him, stirring honey into my tea. He stood up on the bench, waving the newspaper in the air.

"MY GIRLFRIEND'S GONNA BE THE NEXT MINISTER FOR MAGIC!" He yelled, gathering the attention of literally everyone. I yanked him back down to sit with me.

"You are the _literal_ worst," I said, almost in awed shock. He grinned, kissing me on the cheek. He paused, processing for a moment.

"Wait. You _are_ trying to run for minister?" he asked, in a hushed tone. I grumbled.

"That's the _eventual_ plan, but, yes," I sighed. "Harold's planning on stepping down in 1980. He wants me to take his place."

"I love that man," James said, taking a huge bite of his bagel, shacking his head in awe, yanking the newspaper open to read aloud the article about me. "'Iris Brooks, 17, Junior Assistant to the Minister for Magic is attempting to grab a seat of Wizengamot this coming May...'" he quoted. He pointed, excitedly at the last sentence. "'We can only wonder if she'll be taking the seat of Harold Minchum in the near future. We can't wait to see what the little protegee will do next'! Well, they're onto you." he grinned. I groaned.

"I knew this was gonna happen. I wonder how the news got out?" I wondered, standing, snatching a couple of pieces of toast. James hurried to catch up, still eating his bagel, scanning the article.

"Ah, it's called _gossip._ It travels, love," he smiled, cheekily. I rolled my eyes and elbowed his ribs. Gossip, it turns out, travels in much the same way everywhere. It's a global phenomenon. Much as the news had managed to snag the ears of the Daily Prophet, this bit of gossip had gathered in the halls of Hogwarts as well.

Every which way students were congratulating me, on what, I don't know. I hadn't really done anything yet, but I appreciated it all the same. Professors were asking to see me after class only to ask about the details, wanting the 'real truth' not wanting to hear it from other students. I got the feeling that the teachers' gossip was just as busy as the students'. I got a letter from Dumbledore in third period, asking to see me after dinner.

McGonagall pulled me aside in the hallway, pushing me to her office.

"So?" she asked, placing the usual cup of tea in front of me. I grinned.

"Well. It looks like I'm trying for minister," I shrugged. She nodded, dropping two sugars into her tea and stirring.

"I knew you would," she said. I choked on my tea.

"Did you?" I spluttered. I coughed and regained some control of my vocal cords. "It didn't seem like you did. I was jumping around everywhere." I waved my hand around, displaying my indecisiveness.

"Oh, sure, but I knew that it was the one thing you wouldn't be able to drop completely. All the other options I could see you letting go of, but not this." She smiled over her rectangular spectacles. "I'm very excited for you."

"Thank you," I said, smiling.

My friends were all very excited about it, of course. They chattered about it during supper. I didn't accompany them to the portrait hole, however. I managed to snag Lily with me. It was taking some getting used to, but I had to remember to be with her at all times during school. She was getting very good and acting, I was getting impressed.

We got past the gargoyles and climbed the spiral stairs to Dumbledore's office. I knocked.

"Come in," came the muffled voice.

"You asked to see me?" I asked him, once we were both settled across from him and his desk. He smiled.

"Yes, I just wanted to discuss your security detail while you're running for minister for magic," he smiled. "I've talked with Alastor about it a bit, he's agreed that your current protection is enough. Harold can just institute those two bodyguards from before." He gauged my reaction, solemnly. "I know this is a bit inconvenient for you, but we do have your best interest at heart. We now know that you are a legitimate target, that there are several students here with the ability to cause you harm, and that these castle walls haven't been able to protect you from Voldemort anyway. While the other times may have been a bit... intrusive... I think we've gotten better. I hope you know we are trying to make this as easy for you as possible." He smiled, kindly.

"Thank you," I said, sincerely. "I know I haven't been the best when accepting your protection, but you are getting better." I smiled and Dumbledore chuckled.

"I'm glad we finally have something that will satisfy you," he said, his blue eyes twinkling over his half-moon spectacles.

"Good night, professor," I said, as Lily and I exited his office.

"Good night," he replied, stroking Fawkes. I smiled and closed the door behind me.

Maybe things _could_ finally work the way we wanted them to. Sure, it was a bit of a long shot, but at this moment, there wasn't too much of anything.

Everything might just work.


	116. Mixing Drinks

"Come on, I wanna take you out," James rose above me, his pyjama shirt dangling over me. I smiled, wrapping my arms around him and pulling down on top of me.

"Where to?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair. He sat up again.

"That shop in Hogsmeade. The pastry shop where we sort of went on our first date," he grinned, cheekily. I sat up too, sliding back to give us more room on his much-smaller-than-it-looked bed.

"I refuse to let that count," I rolled my eyes, kicking my legs off his bed, standing up, and stretching. He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"I forgot when it's called..." he trailed off.

"You must be thinking of Araminta's," Sirius spoke up, blearily. His voice was muffled by his bedhangings, but he shoved those aside. "It's right next to my flat."

"Oh, that's right. You haven't seen the flat yet, have you?" Remus said, wandering in from the bathroom, brushing his teeth, lazily.

"You have?" I inquired with a quirked eyebrow. Remus almost choked on his toothpaste. He coughed into the bathroom sink. Sirius smirked after him.

"Ah, I invited him over last weekend when you have detention," he nodded at James. "and you were off at the ministry." He nodded to me. I smiled. James, I noticed, looked a little put out. Sirius noticed this as well. "Ah, don't worry. You two go on your date and then we can meet up later and I can give you the grand tour. Get up, Peter!" He poked the boy in his stomach. He awoke with a jolt. Smiling, humorously, I turned back to James.

"Let me get changed. I'll meet you downstairs in twenty minutes," I kissed him and ran down the boys' stairs and back up the girls'. My roommates were already awake, getting ready for their owns plans in Hogsmeade.

"Got a date with Potter, do you?" Marlene raised an eyebrow.

"Yup," I smiled. I went to my trunk and grabbed my favourite pair of jeans, a brown belt, a loose, striped button-down, and a pair of mustard yellow converse. I also grabbed a little hair ribbon. I began changing, ripping off my loose pyjama shirt and tossing it onto my bed. Lily sidled up, inconspicuously.

"Do you think it's okay, just you and Potter, or do you want me to follow along from a distance? I can window shop at places across the street from wherever you are," she suggested. I shook my head, smiling reassuringly.

"No, it'll be fine. I mean, it's Hogsmeade. I think I'll be okay," I smiled. Lily nodded, going back to brushing her hair. I changed quickly and pulled the front of my hair into a half up half down hairstyle with the ribbon. I ran down the stairs to meet James, dressed in jeans and his trademark leather jacket. He also wore his extremely worn out black converse, a clothing item I constantly teased him about.

We walked, James' arm resting lazily on my shoulders all the way up to Hogsmeade. We chatted about a lot of things. Led Zepplin's new album, the fact that Brazil was doing very well in the international quidditch world as of late, and general school assignments. We reached the tea shop quickly. James held the door open for me and I kissed him on the cheek for it.

I ordered a slice of lemon blueberry bunt cake and hot chocolate. James ordered a maple scone and coffee.

"Gimme a bite," I asked, teaching over and taking his scone. He grinned and did the same with my bunt cake. "Oh, I love that," I said, handing it back. He nodded in agreement.

"This place is great," he smiled.

"It's not as good as Misty's," I grinned.

"Misty's?" Inquired James, taking a tentative sip from his coffee cup. He set it down quickly as it was still far too hot to dink.

"It's the place where I meet Adriel for interviews. I've mentioned Ruth, haven't I?" I said, stirring my hot chocolate, watching the marshmallows melt.

"Oh, yeah," James said, remembering. "I still haven't really met this Adriel. Do you think he'd mind if I tagged along to one of your interviews?"

I smiled.

"I can't imagine he would. This won't be like what it was like with Osumare though. His are strictly political, less personal," I warned him.

"Yeah... Merlin, have they caught Osumare yet?" James asked. I almost knocked over my hot chocolate at that. It was not known to the general public that she had committed treason, let alone working for Voldy. All James knew was that she had given me veritaserum to get information out of me. He probably thought so she could get secrets about the minister or anything else top secret.

"Whoops!" I said, grabbing the cup before it could tip over. "No, they haven't. She went completely off the map. They tried talking to her family in France, but they haven't been in contact with her for over a year."

"I hope she doesn't turn up again with top-secret government secrets," he said, offhandedly.

"Oh, she won't. At the time, I didn't know anything particularly government-toppling. There's not much she could know from me," I smiled. James nodded, blowing on his coffee and taking another tentative sip. He must've deemed it cool enough because he took a second, longer drought. He must've noticed my uncomfortableness, however, because he set it back down just as quickly.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up," he apologized.

"No, no, you're fine. I just haven't thought about her in a while," I lied.

"Yeah..." he said, giving me a wry smile. We continued chatting until an obnoxious tapping sounded from out left. There stood Sirius bring in tow a very embarrassed looking Remus and a beaming Peter. James rolled his eyes, shoved the rest of his scone in his mouth, and stood up to pay. I stood, having finished my food, and went outside to join the others.

"How was your date?" Sirius asked, sing-songingly, elbowing me. I shoved him away.

"Good," I smiled, sticking my tongue out at him. James joined us and we began the short walk to Sirius' flat. We entered through the front door, painted orange, and walked up three flights of stairs, passing other tenants' doors. Sirius was in number seven. He took out a key and unlocked it. A very satisfying click and we entered. It was only three rooms. The kitchen and the living room took up the main room, only separated by an island counter. A door stemmed off from the main space through which I could see Sirius' bedroom. The other door was closed, and I assumed it was a closet.

"Bathroom's in my room if you need it," Sirius said, pointing, jumping over his couch and plopping down. Peter ran off to use the bathroom and the rest of us sat down on the couch.

"Oh, you have a balcony?" I asked, noticing the platform through the window.

"Heh, yeah," Sirius grinned. "You can only get on it from the window though, there's no door."

It was a nice flat. It was very sparse, however. What I'd seen of Sirius' bedroom, there was only his bed and a dresser. No posters, no nothing. He did have a shelf of vinyl records though sitting next to his record player and—

"You're keeping your motorcycle in here?" James said, laughing. Sirius grinned.

"Oh, I couldn't keep her outside, now could I? She could get stolen or rained on," he smiled. Peter came back from the bathroom and Sirius leapt up. "I'm being a terrible host! Would any of you like something to drink?"

"The usual," Remus pointed at him.

"Of course," he winked at him. "What'll it be for the rest of you? Ole uncle Albert gave me all the essentials for an at-home-bar, I've got everything." He walked behind the island and took out shakers, bar spoons, shakers, and more bottles of liquer than I could name. He began making Remus' drink, while James bit his lip, thinking.

"You got the stuff for an Old Fashioned?" James asked. Sirius scoffed.

"Of course I do," he walked around the bar and handed Remus his drink. I was not one for cocktails, so I didn't recognize it. It was a reddish tint, and I'd seen Sirius put gin in it, so I guessed it might be a Negroni. Sirius set about making James' Old Fashioned. He dropped a sugar cube into the bottom of the glass, dashed it with what I assumed was bitters, before adding the whiskey and ice.

He handed it to James.

"Sadly, I don't have oranges, so you'll have to deal without the garnish," Sirius grinned at him. James laughed and took a sip of his drink. Sirius turned to me. "What'll it be, little lady?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I've never had a cocktail before," I smiled. Remus smiled at me and I didn't like the look in his eyes like he was dealing with some sweet summer child. James moaned.

"Oh, a tragedy," he winked at me.

"Ooo, a first-timer!" Sirius clapped his hands. "You're in for a treat. Tell you what, I'll bet you'll like a Daiquiri."

"Alright. What's in it?" I asked, propping my chin up on my palm. Sirius walked back behind the counter, hovering his fingers over his bottles.

"Well, sometimes Daiquiris are made like slushies, but that isn't classy. I'll make you the original kind; rum, simple syrup, and lime juice. Very light, very balanced." He winked, knowing that I couldn't possibly know what he was talking about. He did his magic and handed the glass to me. I took it, careful not to spill and took my first taste.

"Wow," I said, my eyes going wide. "I should drink more." Everyone laughed and I settled in, enjoying my drink. Sirius made Peter and quick Whiskey Sour, and for himself, a Sidecar.

"I'll have to make you one of these sometime Iris. It's brilliant," he sighed, taking a long sip, sitting next to Remus, comfortably.

Having finally entered the wondrous world of cocktails, I was happy to oblige. So far, my alcohols had been limited to a couple of shots of firewhiskey and a bit of mulled wine, but this was _different_. It also helped that Sirius' uncle certainly hadn't stinted where money was concerned. He'd gotten the best of the best.

We sat around, talking. Sirius bemoaned the fact that the apartment wasn't yet 'lived in'. He had a television and his shelf of records and his record player and his motorbike, but not much else. A couch. A carpet. Some curtains. It was a rather plain, boring place. I offered to go shopping with him sometime if only he'd make me another cocktail, and he agreed to the deal with a grin. Sirius definitely needed a couple of posters, and a radio, and more than one plate, bowl, spoon, fork, and knife.

He showed us his room. Nothing much, except his guitar, propped again one of the walls and a few old textbooks from his past school years. His clothes hung in his closet, though that wasn't much, most of his stuff was at Hogwarts. He also had few cooking utensils, he ate out most of the time.

"Oh, you should just ask the house-elves if there are any pot and pans and things that they don't need. I'm sure they have tons of things they have no use for anymore," I suggested.

"Not a bad idea," Sirius nodded, thumb on his lip, regarding his rooms. Remus checked his watch.

"It's almost supper time," he remarked, and indeed it was.

"Here's an idea," Sirius grinned, mischievously. "We don't have school tomorrow, and Iris, you said you don't have work either, what if we all slept here? We could have a little party. We'll order out and drink more," he elbowed me. I laughed.

"Not a bad idea," James grinned.

"We'll need to go back to Hogwarts for pyjamas and stuff though," Remus pointed out.

"Perfect, then I can grab my radio," I smiled. "Can we sneak out the girls too?"

"I don't see why not! The more the merrier," Sirius permissed.

We did just that. We apparated to the outer boundaries of Hogwarts and sprinted up the front lawn. We raced through the halls, up to the Gryffindor common room. Once there, I race up the stairs to the girls' dormitory, two at a time. I burst through and Lily shrieked. Mary perked up, startled.

"Grab your pyjamas and toothbrushes girls! We're having a sleepover!" I grinned.

"What?" Lily asked, confused.

"The marauders are sleeping over at Sirius' flat in Hogsmeade. We're gonna order food and stuff. Sirius had a personal cocktail bar," I wiggled my eyebrows at them.

"Sounds wicked," Marlene grinned and grabbed a backpack, stuffing it with her pyjamas and a change of clothes.

"Do we have permission?" Lily asked, not wanting to break the rules, but being enticed nonetheless.

"Absolutely not," I grinned. "Hand me the radio, will you?"

And so, half an hour later, all eight of us were lounging about Sirius' living room, jamming to music, and drinking Sirius' wonderful concoctions.

We'd ordered food from Chapman's, which was sort of the wizarding equivalent of Wimpy's. (The debate of wizards between which was better, Wimpy or Chapman's was a long and violent one. It was a wild debate, as they are both burger places, but wildly differing in every other aspect. Any sane person would agree that they were both good, but not at all comparable, yet people were determined to do so.)

We ate and drank and danced all night, playing a few card games and other things, but near one in the morning, we decided to call it a night. We'd all brought blankets and things and Marlene and Mary had claimed the couch. Sirius decided to sleep out here with the rest of us, and so Lily graciously accepted the spot.

I couldn't help but smile when I spotted Remus already dead asleep, sharing the same blanket as Sirius. James and I were sleeping together and though it took him only minutes to fall asleep, I laid awake long after the last person had drifted off. Something about the drifting lights coming from the street outside illuminating the ceiling mesmerized me. I turned over, facing James and, ignoring the softened hardness of the floor from the tried to fall asleep.

"Are you okay? You're a little restless," James murmured.

"Oh!" I said, surprised. "I thought you were asleep."

"I was," he smiled. "but you woke me up."

"Sorry," I apologized, but he just smiled, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me closer. I twisted around, pressing against him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my head.

"Thinking about something?" he whispered.

"No. I was just watching the lights on the ceiling," he chuckled, softly. His chest rose and fell with each laugh, bouncing against me. I bit my lip to keep from giggling as the vibrational feeling. He ran his hand along my hip and waist, keeping me company until I too, fell asleep.


	117. Tear-Stained Sheets

A bright green light soared past my head as I ducked down behind a desk. My heart thumped in my chest, I was out of breath. I dodged out and shot another spell at the desk hiding my attacker. I ducked down as they shot another spell, knocking my desk away. Before I could do anything, I was hit. My body stiffened, I had been paralyzed. My wand dropped from my hand.

Lily stepped out from behind the desk and stood above me, out of breath, her forehead sweaty and her hair a tangled mess. She waved her wand at me and my muscles relaxed. I picked up my wand and stood, groaning.

"You're getting better," I said, grinning, high-fiving her. She smiled. It was the first time she had defeated me in one of our play battles. I walked over and unfroze Alice. She grinned, grabbed her wand and grabbed my hand as I dragged her up. Lily did likewise with Frank.

We sat on desks in the centre of the room, catching our breath. Alice took out our midnight snacks, tonight it was pretzels and dip. We sat around and chatted for a bit. Alice and Frank flirted, nothing seemingly unaware of the fact that they were doing so. Lily and I rolled our eyes. They always acted like this.

"I feel great," Lily said grinning. I laughed.

"Well, you've definitely improved."

"I feel like it. You're a great teacher," Lily said, dipping a pretzel. I smiled.

By one in the morning, we were done with our snacks and tired out of our brains. This was the second night in a row me and Lily had stayed up this late. We said goodbye to Frank and Alice and walked to the Gryffindor common room. I hadn't persued the topic of Regulus in a while. I knew Lily had broken up with him, that was something she wasn't willing to talk about yet.

He was a rough subject to bring up.

"Alright, we're starting a new project today!" Slughorn announced. You could hear the groans of several of the students, but they were subdued. "We're going to be working a little bit more into alchemy for this project. If you haven't had the class with professor Babbling, this will be your first dip into it. For those of you who are a little confused about the difference between potions and alchemy, alchemy combines potions and charms. Casting certain spells on certain potions can make all-new things. I will be assigning partners once again—" and he started listing off names.

I couldn't help but be struck by a sense of Déjà vu as he listened. I strained for my name.

"Floyd Connor and Melinda Marshal... Glen Morgan and Eddie Daniel... Regulus Black and Iris Brooks..." My heart sank. I looked over at him, but he didn't return it. I swallowed and stared at my desk. Professor Slughorn finished listing names. "Alright, your assignment is to research a low-level recipe in alchemy, one that uses pioneering obviously, don't go and try to make gold, and make it and of course, present it. This will be a two to three week project— yes, Mr Black?"

Regulus was raising his hand. He lowered it.

"Can I have a new partner?" he asked. I blinked. I looked down at my desk, feeling my face grow hot. Professor Slughorn was looking back and forth between us two, confused his partially open.

"Why on earth would you ask such a thing? No, no. No one is switching partners." I was surprised to feel my eyes prickling. I would _not_ cry. Not here. Not because of him. "...Separate into your pairs now..." Slughorn said. I got up, slowly, and sat down beside Regulus. He didn't turn to me, neither I to him.

"Look. This isn't going to work," Regulus started. "I can just to the assignment and then we won't have to talk—"

"No! Absolutely not," I said, finally giving up my pride and turning to him. He refused to do the same. "We are partners. We can be partners for a _potions assignment._ And I said it before; I am your friend—"

"You are not my friend. We can't be, anymore, and you know it." He said, finally looking at me. "I will do the assignment. I will get us a good grade. We won't interact."

"No. I won't allow it. This is a stupid little school assignment. We will _work together,"_ I insisted. He glared at me. I cracked open the textbook. "Come on. Page 527 talks about alchemy a bit. Let's pick something." I began running over the short list included in the textbook. Regulus sighed and opened his textbook too. We didn't speak for a few minutes as the chatter around us continued.

"What about this one," I said, pointing. Regulus looked. He nodded.

"I was looking at that one. It looks fun," he agreed.

"Alright. We'll start next class?" I asked. He nodded. "We can research in class if you would prefer. I'll bring a couple of books. You can too if you want."

"Yeah, okay," he agreed. And that was the end of our conversation. I didn't move back to my seat, there was someone there discussing with their partner, so we just sat. In silence.

"When are you going to let me out?" Osumare asked.

"As soon as we know we can trust you," I replied.

"Which is...?"

"Probably never, if you keep refusing to help us," I said, idly. She just laughed.

"So you're doing nothing," she said.

"I wouldn't know. I'm not in that line of business anymore," I said, leaning forward.

"Right, right," she grinned. "You got cold feet."

"I did _not,"_

"Well, you certainly never liked the fieldwork, did you? You just did it because you were restless and liked feeling wanted. _Needed._ " She smiled, tauntingly. I didn't answer. "You know... The Dark Lord might just value your skills more..."

I froze, staring at the ground.

"He could help you, you know," she said, continuing slowly. "Give you a true calling. He knows you've been struggling finding purpose as of late..."

"How does he know that?" I asked, slowly.

"Oh, I wouldn't question that love," she supplied. I kept my eyes trained on the ground.

"So... you're still recruiting members?" I asked, sounding interested.

"Well... no. But the Dark Lord has a... _special_ interest in you," I could almost hear her smile.

"I'm still confused as to why."

"Oh... you're sort of hard to ignore," she replied. I stopped asking questions, I just continued to look at the floor. "You know... it wouldn't be hard to let him know, if you're interested."

"...I'm not sure," I said, getting up and starting toward the door.

"Don't worry. You've got plenty of time..." she replied as I ascended the stairs.

"I don't know if she's imperioused, but she definitely isn't on our side. I'm not sure what to do. I could pretend I'm interested in joining them... somehow get leverage over her and Voldy..." I finished my story. Dumbledore's fingers were steepled. I stroked Fawkes. It took him a while to reply.

"What do you think is the best course of action?" he asked me. I was surprised.

"I'm not sure. Well— I think it would be stupid for me to completely abandon the idea. I don't know what sort of advantage this could result in if any, but it seems premature to shoot it down completely." Dumbledore nodded. He gazed at Fawkes.

"Do whatever you feel is best. Just make sure she isn't using you in some way. Convincing you."

"Of course not, professor. I know a bad person when I see one," I nodded, standing. He simply hummed. I left. I was going to professor McGonagall's office. It was close by and professor McGonagall always escorted me back to the common room, so I was perfectly safe.

"Come in!" Came her muffled tone. I did so and sat in the chair in front of her desk. She was just pouring two cups of tea for us. She set one in front of me and sat down. She pushed the sugar and cream to me. I helped myself. "How are classes?" She asked.

"Good. Potions is going to be challenging. We're learning a bit of alchemy," I said. She nodded.

"Oh yes. Professor Slughorn was telling me about Mr Black's reaction to being your partner,"

"Is that all you professors do? Gossip about there students?" I grinned.

"What else are we to do?" McGonagall said, simpering. I caught an amused twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah... he didn't seem too keen on working with me," I said, smiling what I imagined was a painful smile. She nodded, setting her cup back down on its saucer.

"Regulus doesn't know what he wants right now. It's good to keep that in mind," she said, allowing me time to process it. "How goes Minister training?"

"Good," I sighed, making it sound like the opposite. I caught McGonagall's look. "No, really, it's going great, it's just all new for me. It's a little tiring," I admitted.

"I would hope," McGonagall sniffed. Then she spotted my appalled look. "I don't want a minister who got where they were easily," she explained. I grinned, rolling my eyes.

"Fair enough," I smiled sipping my tea. Our talks were normally like this. A tussle between two wits. I often thought of these meetings as brain exercises. I had to be at the best of my ability, mentally. McGonagall enjoyed complex conversation, as did I. Little teasing here and there. Hidden meanings in our tones and phraseology, it was fun, in a nerdy sort of way.

We chatted for a little over an hour. When the clock struck ten, we decided to call it a night. Professor McGonagall took my cup and set it aside. She stood and together we walked through the halls, tying up our conversation. As we turned a corner a rustle of movement just ahead of us. In a split second, we both had our wands out, mine pointing at the person, professor McGonagall's pointing upward, shining light into the darkness.

And there stood James Potter looking rather terrified and sheepish at the sight of us.

"What are you doing?" I asked, lowering my wand.

"Mr Potter, it is after curfew," Professor McGonagall sniffed. He blinked.

"Um... I was coming to get Iris. I didn't know you walked her to the common room, I was gonna surprise her," he said, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. McGonagall sighed.

"Very well. I will see you two tomorrow, in class," she said and turned around. James blinked, surprised.

"Well that was easy," he grinned. I shook my head, smiling. He grabbed my hand and together we walked back to the common room.

"So..." I said, looking up at him. He just shook his head, a little embarrassed.

"Look, it wasn't very well thought out. I was awake and I decided to surprise you," he said, a little defensively. I laughed.

"It's all good," I reassured him. "While we're both up though... what do you say we stop by the kitchens?"

We did stop by the kitchens. We each got a cup of hot cocoa and a plate of cookies. We inquired to the house-elves about kitchen items they didn't use and were all too happy to drop them off in the dormitory. We suggested they covered the floor with them, and maybe even Sirius' bed if they could manage it. They were all very excited about the job. On a whim, I asked the house elves where we might be able to enjoy our food alone and unbothered.

"Oh! The Come and Go room, miss!" supplied Folly.

"The Come and Go room?" I asked.

"Most wizards don't know about it, but us elves use it all the time! Here, I can show you,"

She led us up to the seventh floor and to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. I blinked at the solid wall. Folly was closing her eyes and whispering some things. She paced three times and right before our eyes, a door materialized. I gasped.

"This is the door! The room, the room I slept in that one time! Do you remember?" I asked James, but he was too starstruck to hear me. Folly pushed open the door and revealed a completely different room than the one I had slept in. My jaw dropped.

"It's really a fantastic room," Folly was explaining. "You just pace three times in front of the door, thinking of what you need. If you've been in it before, it was probably an accident. The room likes to play tricks." She said, and stepped out, closing the door behind her.

"So... is this the room you were talking about?" James asked.

"Yes— well, no. It was in this exact spot, but it wasn't like this..." I trailed off. The entire far wall was essentially just one, long window overlooking the forest. To our right was a giant bed. The softest, most beautiful looking bed I had ever seen. To our left were a fireplace, a coffee table, and a couch. We moved over there, setting down our mugs and James set down the cookies. There was a very soft, thick blanket over the back of the couch and we wasted no time wrapping up in it. We chatted and drank our hot chocolate.

Before long, our mugs were discarded. I was straddling James and we were kissing softly. I broke it off, leaning into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me.

"What are we going to do when we graduate?" I asked, softly. James stilled. I couldn't stand the silence; I pushed away from James and looked at him. He looked contemplative.

"I'll tell you what we'll do," he said, confidently. He kissed me again. "I'm going to buy a house in some small, beautiful, quaint town. It'll be a small house, a cottage or something. I'll visit you every day and hang around like an annoying little leech. I'll get a job, either as an auror or I'll work for the order of the phoenix. I'll propose. You'll say yes. You'll move in with me. We'll buy a cat. You'll win the election and become prime minister. We'll have a kid. See how that turns out and have more. We'll be happy. We'll grow old—" he never got to finish. I kissed him before he could.

It was fierce. And messy because I had started crying. We broke apart and I leaned into his shoulder, tears flowing down my face.

"But what about my mum?" I said, sitting back up. James adopted a concerned face, opening his mouth to say something, but I interrupted him. "No matter, how many beautiful futures we plan out, my mum will always ruin it," I said hiccupping. "I don't want to put her in a home. I can't pay full-time for her treatment. You won't be able to come over whenever you want to. I won't be able to move in with you, not unless she comes with, and no offence, but no amount of love from you can make up from what literal hell she will bring me."

James said nothing but wrapped his arm around me as I sobbed.

"We'll figure something out. I promise," he said, softly. I just cried. "I promise..."


	118. Dinner and A Show

It was my first political party. I hung on the arm of Harold as we stepped into the room after being announced. I could'not ignore the stares we received. It was a simple dinner party, a smaller one than the others would be, Harold had warned. All these political parties were extremely formal, and not owning anything that would be proper for the occasion, I had run to Mrs Potter. She had supplied me with a gorgeous [gown](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/220606081734760801/), one from her "younger years" as she had said with a nostalgic smile.

It really was gorgeous. It was a dark burgundy, the fabric of rich velvet. A cowl neckline and a scandalously open back. I had my hair up in an elegant bun and long, dangly, silver earrings. I'd also bothered to wear more makeup than usual. I was happy with the look.

"That there is Juliana Moyer and Della Alaniz. They're sisters, they're the ones who've managed to help pass the many bills around muggle-borns and squibs. Remember all those from the sixties? They controlled that entire political sphere," Harold whispered to me, pointing at two particularly fierce-looking women, pitch-black hair pulled into identical severe knots on their heads. "That there is Evon Blackwell, he controls the floo powder monopoly. Everyone knows it, no one says anything. That's a good thing to remember in politics," he said, evenly, weaving me through the groups of people.

"Minister," a voice from to our right greeted. Harold turned.

"Oh! Iris, this is Millicent Bagnold," he said pleasantly, kissing her hand. Millicent was one of my competitors. She was older than me, I could tell that much. The lower thirties at the very least. She had dark blonde hair and a sharp nose. She was pleasant enough to look at, wearing a tight, azure gown that wrapped around her waist like a corset. The blue reminded me of her alumni Hogwarts house, Ravenclaw.

"How do you do?" she asked, politely, inclining her head ever so slightly.

"Very well, and you?" I replied, smiling.

"Well enough. The whole politicking business is getting rather boring," she replied with an air of dissatisfaction.

"Oh, everything is new to me, so I find it all fascinating," I remarked. I caught a glint in her eye.

"You are not a member of Wizengamot, are you?" she asked, rather politely even though it wasn't really a polite thing to ask.

"Not yet, no. I'm hopeful though." I gave a purposely cryptic answer. She smiled coldly back. She excused herself and we pressed onward.

"That there is Alphonso Heaton. He more or less controls the claims we have in Africa. Very interesting man," he commented, and I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "He is Elisio Dupre. He is a member of the French royal family. The magical side, that is," he corrected himself.

"Minister!" some exclaimed behind us. We turned and my heart rose into my throat.

"Ah! Mrs Black! How's the family?" Harold smiled, kissing her hand. I forced a smile onto my face. I suspected it looked more like a grimace, but I had no chance to contemplate this as Mrs Black swooped down and pecked me on both cheeks.

"We're doing very well, aren't we, Orion?" she patted her husband's hand. She didn't bother waiting for him to answer. "Oh, Miss Brooks, I don't believe we've met properly. I'm Walburga Black, my son tells me you're a friend of his from school."

"Which one?" I joked. She didn't reply, returning to her discussion with Harold. I mostly tuned her out. I was very uncomfortable with this whole thing. I knew too much about her. It was hard to keep my face in a neutral expression.

"How's Freya?" Orion asked me, quietly. It seemed he didn't appreciate Mrs Black's chattering away any more than I did.

"Oh, my mum? She's doing... well I suppose. How do you know her?" I inquired.

"You probably don't know this, but we used to be good friends with your parents. We'd have them round for dinner..." he trailed off. I was flabbergasted. Why on earth would a family like the Blacks bother with a half-blood family like ours? My mom was a muggle-born and my dad was a disowned pure-blood who took her name. Surely, those two things were enough to write me off as a shame to the wizarding world in their eyes.

"We'll be off then, I must talk to Miss Oliphant over there," she said. I was glad to be rid of her, but then she turned back to me. "Iris, if you're ever interested, come and visit. Regulus tells us all about you. Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to add you to the family! It'd be much better than that disgusting dimwit of a girl he keeps dragging about with..." she grumbled.

"Haha... would it?" I asked with humour, attempting to pry whatever it was they she kept hinting at, out of her.

"Oh yes. I believe in pure blood. A family as prestigious and magical as the Blacks haven't stayed this way by letting just anyone in," she scoffed. "No, only pure marriages in this family, and who better to add but you?" She said, kissing me on both cheeks again and walking away, dragging Orion along with her. I was dumbfounded. Why on earth did the Black family think I was a pureblood?

I didn't have much time to contemplate this interesting development then, the table had been set for dinner. I sat next to Harold and a man who introduced himself as Quentin Tolliver.

"I own a few oil companies in the West," he mentioned. Of course. Tolliver Oil, I should've known. Quentin was a built man. Most people are taller than men, but he even managed to tower over me while we were sitting.

"How are things... in the oil business?" I stumbled out. He smiled, only humouring me.

"Well enough. I make enough to maintain my three mansions, so I'd say things are good," he not-so-subtly bragged. He then started the awkward business of hitting on me. I was not impressed. I reminded him that I was barely of age. He smiled.

"Oh, that's just a twenty-year difference. That's not that bad, middle easterners for example..." and I tuned him out there.

"How soon can we leave without looking like terrible human beings?" I whispered to Harold.

"At least another two hours, or half an hour after they break out the whiskey," he replied from the corner of his mouth. I had to hold down and groan. I was about to call this party a total waste of time and overall useless spending of my time, but that was before I had the pleasure of meeting Alex.

I had stepped outside the room to get a breath of fresh air and gather my thoughts, but instead of finding a welcome, empty hallway, I found a young man, sipping a whiskey.

"Oh! Terribly sorry for the intrusion," I said, hastily stepping back. He turned to me.

"No! No, you're not intruding. Please, stay. I assume you came out to get away from all that," he gestured at the door. I nodded and smiled thinly. He sipped his whiskey and eyed me up and down. I didn't care, I closed my eyes and breathed. "You're Iris Brooks, aren't you?" he asked. My eyes fluttered open. I stood up straighter, regaining my composure.

"Yes. That's me," I smiled. He stepped forward and took my hand, kissing it. I nodded to him, acknowledging his kind manners. He stepped back and leaned against the wall again.

"I'm Alexander Gilson. Most people call me Alex," he smiled, sipping his whiskey again.

"Well, hello Alex," I sighed. "Am I supposed to know who you are? I swear, I never know who's who." He chuckled.

"No, I'd be surprised if you knew who I was." I smiled thinly at his humour. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be understanding a joke or not. Evidently not, as Alex did not seem too bothered. He sipped his whiskey. He gazed into the bottom of his glass and tipped his head, downing the rest. He looked at me with some strange, burning intensity.

"Do you want to change the world?" He whispered, stepping closer.

"Pardon?" I asked, a bit startled from the change of pace.

"Iris Brooks; do you want to change the world?" He asked, pointing the hand still holding the whiskey glass in my face.

"I suppose I do," I said, blinked.

"Good," he nodded, stepping, leaning back against the wall. "That's good. I can't stand politicians who do nothing. Either for good or bad, for the love of God, _do_ something!"

"I don't really have the power to change anything yet," I laughed, wondering if Alex was really very drunk and just very good at hiding it.

"But you will," he nodded, tipping me his glass, even though it was empty. I laughed.

"Of course I will,"

"You will!" he said, so sure of the fact. "The moment you stepped out, I felt your aura..." he trailed off.

"Oh. You're a seer," I said, nodding. It's not that I didn't believe in divination, it's just that the subject if a very imprecise branch of magic. It was questionable at the very least.

"Right on the dot, darling," he smiled, pushing off the wall he had been leaning on and coming very close to me. He grasped my hand in his. "You are very special, you just don't realize it yet."

"Am I?" I asked, a hint of a chuckle still in my throat.

"You'd better believe it," he grinned, showing off his pearly white teeth.

"And what makes you say that?"

"I can't say precisely," he hmed, looking me up and down again. "Divination is a very imprecise branch of magic you know."

"I know," I sighed. I was very tired.

"But don't worry; the world will praise you for your work," Alex said, staring into my eyes. I couldn't help but believe him.

"Oh, it was dreadful," I bemoaned to James, leaning heavily on his bedpost. I would've collapsed onto his bed right then and there if it weren't for the fact that I hadn't had the chance to change. I was still in the burgundy gown from before.

"Sure it was. What good is wonderful food and even better whiskey, fraternizing with the worlds most powerful and influential politicians and moneymaker?" James teased, his back against the wall his bed was pressed against.

"James... I cannot take your sass right now," I moaned. "Unzip me, would you? I just want to sleep." James scooted off his bed and stood, his nimble fingers lingering on the skin of my back from the low cut. He unzipped the dress and I stepped away, collecting my designated sleeping-over-with-James pyjamas. I changed quickly and joined James in bed. He wrapped his arms around me.

After a few minutes of trying to fall asleep, I turned around, facing toward James.

"You know the weirdest thing though?" I mentioned. He blinked, blearily.

"What?" he asked, yawning.

"Sirius' parents were there," I said.

"Oof. Nightmare right there," James nodded.

"No, but that wasn't it. They seemed to think I was a pureblood," I said, finally letting it sink in how weird that was. "I mean, my mum is a muggle-born. My dad is a disowned pureblood who took my mother's name. They despise people like me."

"That is weird," James agreed. He yawned again. "Do you have your family records?"

"I have no idea. If we did at one point, we don't anymore. My dad was really good about hiding and protecting stuff like that. I don't remember when he started that. Probably when he became an auror," I nodded.

"Well, maybe the minister might know where you can find the government's copies. You could check for yourself," James supplied, along with another yawn.

"Good idea," I nodded. I twisted back around and forced myself to close my eyes and attempt to fall asleep. Before I drifted off, it occurred to me that Alex hadn't told me anything about him, only things about myself. Come to think of it, the only place I'd seen him was that hallway. I didn't remember seeing him at dinner, or in the crowds, or anywhere.

It seemed he'd only been there to see me.


	119. A Question of Blood

The months passed quicker and quicker, it was unnerving. Perhaps it was all the political parties and meeting with certain members of Wizengamot to get ten votes. Maybe it was because it was my last year at Hogwarts and the good things never last. Whatever the reason, it was December before I could even think it, which meant, new members of Wizengamot were being chosen. Ernest had given me a blow by blow and was now helping me submit my application. It was rather tedious to be honest.

"Alright, we've got your ten signatures, your letters of recommendation, your Brag Sheet, your personal essay, your three-hundred galleons..." he said, shuffling through the assorted parchments. "All we need now is a form of identification." He motioned for me to follow him.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We're getting your file here in the minister. It contains everything the government knows about you." It sounded like it might've been a joke, but Ernest wasn't the joking sort. A bit of unease settling like a weight in my stomach, but there wasn't much to be done about it. We took the lift down several levels, down to the Department of Mysteries. This was not a department I visited often. I'd never been much further than the front desk, and it looked like I never would. Ernest stopped just in front of the desk.

I looked around, interested in the things to see. There wasn't much. It was just one, long, dark hallway with a single doorway. Just then, and Unspeakable exited from the door and passed us. Unspeakables were people who worked in the Department of Mysteries. They had an aura of... well... mystery about them. People only spoke of them in hushed tones, and no one really knew what they did, except the minister. It was one of the only topics Harold never talked about with me. I'd be lying if I didn't hinder some interest in the department and its workers. I didn't have much time to contemplate it. Ernest got my file from the woman and we walked back to the lift, back up to the first floor.

He set it on top of our stack of other information. I stared at the manila coverlet. 'Iris Brooks' was stamped in black ink onto the cover. I wondered, had I had a middle name whether that would've been included. Come to think of it, how much did the ministry know about me? Better yet, how much did the ministry know about me that _I_ didn't even know?

"Actually, can I take a look at that?" I asked, pointing. He waved his hand, dismissively.

"Sure, have at it. Just make sure you give it to me before midnight, that's when I need to turn it in to them," he said in an almost joke, and shooed me out of the room. I went to my desk and plopped it down. I sat down and stared at it for a few seconds, really wondering if I was being overdramatic. And then I opened it.

It looked just like any other file. It contained a picture of me, strangely enough, a non-moving one. I supposed it was so I didn't leave the portrait, that would be a nightmare for organization. It was the picture that had been taken my first day of work. I shifted that aside. I flipped through a few more papers. A paper declaring my admission to Hogwarts, dating back to 1971. A birth certificate, telling me I was born at St. Mungos. A receipt, displaying my wand and its make. I stared at it, confused for a moment. The ministry hadn't known I'd been using my father's wand, why was it accurate? And then I saw the date and the signature of its authenticity. Harold Minchum, August 17, 1979. He put it in on my seventeen birthday, past when I could get in trouble for underage magic. I smiled. There was my certificate of excellence, showing I could legally apparate. There was another general document, including my residence, my year in Hogwarts, a record of my taxes from all the jobs I'd ever had.

And then I flipped to the back. There, older and more faded than the other papers, were two documents, proving who my parents were. I almost flipped past them, but then I stopped and thoroughly inspected both. There were just basic documents on my parents. I immediately noticed something odd. 'Freya Elenora Carter'. Why didn't it say Brooks? Dad was supposed to have taken her name.

I glanced at my dad's and saw 'David McKinley Brooks'. So it _was_ my dad's last name. Why had they lied? I inspected mum's further. All normal stuff. Green eyes, brown hair, marital status: widowed, one child, the usual stuff. Caught by a sudden suspicion. I glanced down at her blood-status. Muggleborn. Okay, so that was all right. Nothing weird there.

I re-inspected my dad's. Brown hair, blue eyes. Occupation: Auror. It included his time of death. A lot of behind-the-scenes, used-to-be-top-secret stuff that I already knew from meeting Kane and reliving his memories. It would've hurt more if I hadn't known. I jumped around. Just as I was about to flip away, having found nothing new except the last name thing, I glanced down and saw something that made my blood run cold.

Blood-Status: Muggleborn

I stopped, and stared. Muggleborn. No. No, that couldn't be right. My dad was a pureblood. His parents had disowned him when he married mum, what on earth was this? I couldn't breathe properly. No, no. This wasn't right. I closed my file and slid it into my desk drawer and headed for the lift. I went straight back to level nine. I walked up to the desk.

"Hello, sorry I'm back again. My file had something weird about my dad, it doesn't really match up. Could I take a look at his file?" I asked. The woman nodded and waved her wand. A new file appeared on her desk.

"I'm going to have to ask you to read it here since the file isn't yours it has to stay here," she smiled. I nodded and sat down in a waiting chair a few feet away I was sure hadn't been there a minute ago. I opened my dad's file.

I flipped to the very back, ignoring his apparition license, the description of his wand, his obituary. I inspected his parent's files. Rianne May Middleton - Muggle. Oscar Melton Brooks - Muggle. I blinked, rubbing the side of my head. It was too much. Too much to comprehend. Why would my parents lie about this? I had gone my whole life thinking I was half-blood when I wasn't.

_But they were both in Slytherin!_ I thought, desperately. _Maybe that was why they lied about it._ A tiny voice spoke out in my brain. _They probably came up with the lie in school. That's why Mrs Black though I was pureblood. Perhaps they told you you were half-blood to protect you. If you'd been sorted into Slytherin, you'd've been bullied._

Everything was speculation. Of course, I didn't mind being a muggle-born, it was just the fact that I had never known. It was like growing up your whole life and everyone telling you that you have blue eyes, and then, one day, finding out you have green eyes. It was just...weird. The peculiar feeling stabbed me in the gut and wrenched it.

I closed the file slowly and handed it back to the secretary. I stepped into the lift and ascended. I stepped back into the office, took out the file again, and took it back to Ernest. He plopped it back on the pile, uncaringly. I sat around for a bit, waiting until my shift was over. Harold was currently overseas, visiting for the International Confederation of Wizards. Basically, the wizarding United Nations.

The clock struck. I got up, grabbed my back and my cloak, and left the building. I flooded back to Hogwarts, wanting to avoid the long walk over the grounds, and ascended the steps to the boys' dormitory. The girls had been giving me a lot of flack lately, for sleeping with James so often, but they all agreed they'd rather me wake up James after work than them. I quietly entered the room and stood for a bit, revelling in the darkness and the quiet. I silently dropped my satchel and cloak onto a chair, changed into my pyjamas, and carefully parted James' hangings. He was barely asleep and his eyes fluttered. He opened his eyes, fulling waking, and smiled, opening his arms and his blanket for me to crawl in.

"Hi," he greeted sleepily.

"Hi," I replied, pulling the hangings back behind me. I lay down on the second pillow, staring up at his canopy. He propped up on his elbow, inspecting me.

"Something's wrong," he stated. I shook my head, staring and the ceiling. I shook my head again.

"Technically, no," I said, still staring at the ceiling.

"That's not a no," James pried, hesitantly. I glanced at him, smiling. I sat up too, lacing my fingers with his hand. I looked at him.

"You don't care about, blood purity and all that, do you?" I asked, squeezing my eyes shut.

"No! Of course not, you know that," he said, in what could only be described as a whisper-shout.

"I know, I know. I know that," I said, screwing my eyes shut even tighter. He squeezed my hand.

"I don't care in the slightest that you half-blood," he reassured me. I let out a quiet laugh.

"Well, I just found out, I'm not even that," I said, finally opening my eyes. I raked my gaze across his face. He looked a little confused, trying to process what I had said. 

"I... don't understand what you mean," he said, looking at me, intently.

"It turns out, my parents had a lot of lies, and they all revolved around blood. I am a muggleborn. Or, whatever you call the kid of two muggleborns," I said. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"They lied? To you?"

"Yeah, and a lot of other people too. Remember how I mentioned Sirius' parents thinking I was a pure-blood two months ago?" he nodded. "I don't know why, but they really tried to hide their real bloodlines. They told me Brooks was my mother's maiden name, but it wasn't. They told me my dad's family had disowned him after marrying my mum. Maybe they did disown him, but it must've been because he was magical. His muggle family didn't want anything to do with him anymore. That would explain why they didn't send me money when I asked for it something like seven years ago. I don't know what to even think!

"They must've lied to the entire Slytherin house too. It explains that threat Lucious shot at me fifth year, the one that never made sense. It explains Kade's hatred of my father. It explains a _lot,_ " I finished. I had a vice-like grip on James' hand. He pressed the other to my face. I closed my eyes, breathing, leaning against his touch.

"I hope you know I don't care about your blood. I love you and nothing is going to change that," he reassured me. I smiled.

"I know. I know. I'm not even really bothered about the fact. I don't care about blood either, it's just— just..."

"Just new. You never expected it. You just learned you've been lied to your entire life, it's not weird to be shocked by that. It'll take getting used too, it'll take a lot of adjustment. You're reacting how anyone else would," he smiled. He leaned up and kissed me. I closed my eyes and returned it, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands moved to my waist.

I broke it off, leaning against him, breathing in his scent. He chuckled and I felt the vibrations in his chest.

"You need sleep," he said, holding my head in his hands.

"So do you," I teased. He laid down and I scooted next to him. He wrapped an arm around me and squeezed. I smiled, circling his knuckles with my thumb and fell asleep.


	120. Good Graces

I was accepted. I was now an official member of Wizengamot. I was given the plum coloured robes and everything. What surprised me was the number of votes I had been given. I knew I'd had at least ten, but over thirty people had voted me in. I was astounded. This, of course, was something we couldn't keep from the mass media. It wasn't an article that could be restricted to just Adriel, although his was the most popular editorial.

"How does it feel to be the youngest member of Wizengamot ever?" He asked me, taking a hurried bite of his cake. I laughed a bit from excitement, a bit from fear.

"It's crazy. It's completely and utterly crazy. I'm so thankful for all the support I received, I couldn't have gotten this far without help. I'm honestly excited. I really think I can make a difference and that's a feeling I don't have all too often. I feel now, that I have tools I didn't have before."

"What are you looking to change?" Adriel asked. I thought for a moment, taking a bite of my own cake.

"I want to better prepare the wizarding world for what's to come. The Minister has done a fantastic job dealing with these dark forces thus far, but we need to come to terms with the fact that these threats won't stay in the shadows biding their time. Eventually, they'll jump out to scare us, and we need to be ready when they do."

"What 'dark forces' are you talking about?" Adriel asked.

"I am talking about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named," reminding myself that this was a serious interview and I couldn't say Voldy. "and his forces. They are quietly infiltrating our world, our institutions. They cannot be allowed to do so. We must quash them before they gain the power they so desire. We must kill them at the root, not just prune their leaves."

There was a slightly grave quiet for a bit, as Adriel scribbled this down.

"Are you looking to become Minister for Magic?" He asked. I nodded.

"I am. I don't think that's a secret anymore. I think we need someone who can speak to the people and fully grasp the situation we are in as a country. As a people. We are all equally threatened and it the job of those who have been elected representatives to decide what is best for those who put them there. The people choose who they want to make those decisions, and, personally, I think I am the best for that job. I know what the younger generation wants. I am compromising but stubborn as steel when necessary. I want the people to feel as though they can influence politics and make their opinions known without fear. I want them to understand politics to the fullest of their abilities, and I can promise that they will."

I cut off there, not knowing exactly how to continue, but Adriel was nodding, humming to himself, scribbling it all down.

"That's good. That's really good," Adriel smiled. I nodded, finishing my cake. Adriel closed his notebook with a snap and finished off his cake as well.

"Same time next week?" He asked, standing, giving me a hand. I smiled.

"Same time next week,"

I wasn't sure the extent of my parent's lies. Why they told me I was a half-blood when they had lied to the entire Slytherin house. It was weird, but there was no way I could ever know why. Dad was dead, mum was insane, and neither of their parents seemed to care about my existence. There was nothing to know, except that I was a muggleborn. And that was that.

It was dumb, but I was so happy James didn't care. I knew he wouldn't care, I knew it. But it was so reassuring to see it with my own eyes. His opinion of me didn't change, he didn't change how he acted around me. He was my anchor in something I could never understand. As he was with most things.

I had received an update from the order; that apparently, whatever plan existed to get to me was moving along. We still knew no details, but Osumare seemed to know exactly what was going on, but she wasn't letting us in on the secret. It made me a little more uptight. The potions project with Regulus wasn't helping either.

"Got the peppercorn?" I asked, stirring the cauldron. He didn't answer, he just added it as the instructions detailed. He didn't talk much. Not to me. I often saw him and Snape sneak furtive looks at each other. Ones that must've meant something because Regulus' expressions seemed keen to change. I hated the pit in my throat.

I stirred as Regulus mumbled the number of spells required to make the alchemy solution. I pursed my lips, saying nothing. As much as I wanted to prove to Regulus that I was still his friend, the unknown plan still remained in the back of my head, teasing me. I couldn't trust Regulus; that was the plain and simple truth.

I really wished I could.

The bell rang and students turned off their burners, cleared their space, and packed up. Regulus and I did so in record time. I grabbed my satchel and glided over to James, grabbing his hand as we walked out the door together.

"You okay?" he asked. I hummed a noncommittal yes, and he just nodded, heading to the common room. I let myself relax, and leaned my head against James' arm since he was too tall for me to reach his shoulder. I spotted his secret smile as he squeezed my hand.

"Bindlestiff," James spoke and the Fat Lady's portrait swung open, revealing a crowded common room. They all started cheering. I blinked, confused. James just grinned. I spotted a poster that hung above the fireplace. "Future Minister For Magic!" it boasted in giant, colour-changing ink. I grinned.

"You're joking," I laughed. "No way you lot actually care about politics!" I yelled over the quieting crowd.

"Well, y'see. We want ourselves in your good graces!" Sirius said, raising his almost-empty bottle of firewiskey. The crowd chuckled. "And we wanted an excuse to party!" He yelled and suddenly music started playing from the radio on the far wall. I laughed and James swung me around, spinning me. I got quite a few congratulations from people from becoming a Wizengamot member, but most people were just looking to party, something I was extremely glad about. It had been enough that I'd had to be received by every single member of Wizengamot yesterday, plus the numerous interviews and things.

James swung me onto the dance floor and held me close. I rested my head on his chest, swaying to the beat. We sang what words we knew, and made up those we didn't. After a bit, we grew tired and shoved our way to the snack table, grabbing a firewhiskey each and a plate of whatever looked good. We claimed an armchair together, practically laying on top of each other and kissing messily and speaking a little more slurred as time went on.

I realized I was a little drunker than I wanted to be, so I cast a sobering spell over myself and the strange warmth that accompanies excessive drunkenness receded.

"Do me a favour...?" James slurred. I grinned and cast the same spell over him. He blinked and sat up a little straighter. "Merlin, I need a breath of fresh air," he spoke over the music. I nodded and together we got up, and managed to get through the portrait hole. We sank back against the wall, breathing a bit.

"Was this whole party your idea?" I asked, turning to him. The corner of his mouth twitched.

"Maybe," he replied, winking. I grinned, resting my head against the wall.

"Thanks. I really appreciate it," I smiled.

"Glad to hear it." We were quiet for a bit, just revelling in the quietness, oh so deafening after all the music and shouting.

"No really; thanks. I don't think you know how crazy this whole week's been," I said, rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands. He leaned beside me.

"That's exactly why I planned this," he said with a sly grin. I chuckled, quietly.

"You're a good boyfriend," I sighed, closing my eyes, pushing against the wall a little bit more.

"Good enough for a kiss?" he smirked.

"Maybe," I ceded. He leaned forward, and just before our lips met, a bright, white light appeared in front of me. We both jumped. It was a phoenix resting a few feet off the ground. It didn't take it speaking for me to know whose patronus it was.

"Iris, I come bearing bad news," Dumbledore's patronus issued, dropping its mouth open. "Mr Marcellus Kade has broken out of Azkaban. He had escaped."

And just like that, his patronus dissipated into the air. I blinked at the empty space where it had once been. My heart stood still, unbeating. My breath caught in my throat.

"Iris?" James asked, quietly. "What was that? What does that mean?" I opened my mouth to speak, but I just gulped, focusing on air. It took me a minute before I could answer him.

"Marcellus Kade," I choked out. "Is the man who murdered my father."

James was so sweet, he really was. He managed to get Sirius to announce that professor McGonagall had stopped by and told everyone to go to sleep and to turn off the radio. Within minutes, that party was picked up. James led me to bed, where he held me. I was so sure I wasn't going to cry, but the second James wrapped his arms around me, I did.

They weren't sad tears. They were scared tears. I was terrified out of my mind. I had never experienced fear like this. Sure, I'd lived with fear basically my whole life. Living with my mum certainly wasn't a _soothing_ experience, but my dad's murdered being on the loose was a whole other thing entirely. My entire body shook, the shivers of terror shaking not just my body, but transferring to James' as he held me tight.

I could hardly swallow. This was fear for my life. For what he would do now that he was out. I wondered vaguely if this was part of the plan that Regulus was in on. The Snape was in on. That Osumare might know about. That Voldemort had planned. This was terror and I couldn't do anything about it.

There was no way I would be able to sleep. James knew this. He accepted it far before I did. It was midnight before I could actually speak, the terror rendering me mute before.

"You should go to sleep," I managed in a voice so far from my own. James' chest made an odd noise as he shook his head.

"Not until you do," he said, determinedly. I almost laughed. We both knew that wasn't going to happen. James held me tighter. Neither of us slept, not really. Maybe I did intermittently through the night. There were times where I closed my eyes and opened them half an hour later, but it wasn't sleep. Not really.

James and I watched the sun creep up, peep through the slit in the curtains. We heard Remus' alarm clock go off and him crawling out of his bed to the bathroom. We heard Sirius stir slowly, stretching, his bed creaking and his setting his feet heavily on the ground. We heard Peter's snores subside and the eventual sound of his rifling through his trunk. They all knew better than to pull open James' hangings.

After they left, neither of us spoke for a very long while. James was the first to break the silence.

"Are you okay?" he asked. It took me a moment to answer.

"No,"

I felt James sigh softly, his chest falling, rocking me back, further into his chest.

"Can you sleep yet?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered. He sighed again.

"Do you want to try?"

"Not really."

"Iris," he said, a hint of admonishment in his voice.

"I really don't want to, James. What if he's there. In my dreams," I said. The possibility was real. I had lived through his memories for a good half hour. There was a change I'd re-live them unconsciously, and as far as dreams go, I could murder myself through his eyes. Dreamland is a wasteless place.

"He won't be," he assured me.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked,

"Because I'm holding you,"

Perhaps my heart was not convinced with his words, but my exhausted brain was. Just the thought of sleep made my eyelids sink deeper and deeper. I was asleep before I even had the chance to retort.


	121. The Ides of March

There had been an emergency meeting at headquarters that day. The owl had woken me. James didn't know what was in the letter, but he said that whatever Dumbledore wanted, it could wait. I chuckled sadly and kissed him.

"I've slept for long enough now. I need to talk to him," I said, resting my forehead against his. James put his arms on my shoulders and pushed me back, inspecting my face with laced concern.

"Four hours is hardly enough," James said. He looked just as worried as I felt. It was time for me to put on my brave face.

"I know. But I don't think my body will let me sleep past noon. Besides, I'm in Hogwarts. Nothing can harm me while I'm in Hogwarts," I said, brightly, pulling away and walking toward the door.

"Let me at least go with you," James said, standing, pulling on a jacket over his wrinkled t-shirt. He hadn't changed since yesterday. I smiled sadly at him.

"Really James; I'll be okay. I'll be back in a flash," I said, kissing him again. He held me tightly until I broke away. "You should go eat breakfast or something."

"It's well past that," James said, with a grin, checking his watch.

"Well, go steal something from the kitchens," I smiled and closed the door behind me. I raced out the common room and through the halls, not slowing down until I reach his office.

"Wibbles Fudgies," I said. The gargoyles leapt aside and I quickly climbed the twisting staircase, not bothering to knock when I reached the top. Dumbledore was pacing. I had never seen him pace before. His grave expression didn't change when he held out his arm for me to grab. We stepped into the fireplace together. We popped out in Hogshead, a pub I'd never had the pleasure to visit, and I quickly realized it wasn't a pleasure. It was grimy and odd. We didn't linger.

Dumbledore stepped swiftly out the front door and pulled me behind the building. Together, we apparated. We landed in the courtyard of the octagonal building. Dumbledore knocked in code upon the door. A wand poked out.

"State your name," asked a voice from beyond the door.

"Albus Dumbledore," he replied.

"What is Albus Dumbledore's favourite kind of biscuit?" came the disembodied voice.

"Ginger snap," Dumbledore replied, snippedly. The wand disappeared and the door swung open, revealing an empty corridor. We quickly made out way to the long table where the order was waiting for us. I took my seat further along the side and Dumbledore stood in his place at the head of the table. All the chatter from before hushed. Dumbledore looked particularly grave.

"There is a terrible murderer on the loose. His name is Marcellus Kade. He works for Lord Voldemort. It is my assumption that he was broken out by plan of Lord Voldemort's. Specifically, I believe this is part of his plan against Miss Brooks." I tried to ignore the snatched glances at me as Dumbledore continued. "We have received intel that Mr Severus Snape and Mr Regulus Black are working on a plan, one that Regulus is supposed to be heading, but we all know of Voldemort's plans with his youngest members. He's trying to see how far Regulus will go. How dedicated he is to his cause."

Dumbledore went on, explaining some of the finer details and asking members for their opinions and theories. My head was swimming. What did we know? Voldy wanted to be rid of me because I was a nuisance; the weeder of his plan to extend his influence inside of Hogwarts. He had either recruited or imperioused Osumare to get secrets, both political and personal, to get to me. He has tasked Regulus with a plan to stop me, with Snape as assistant. Regulus had the dark mark. Snape did not. Voldy had broken Kade out of jail.

What did all this have in common? I thought over all my conversations with Osumare. Based on her talks with me, Voldy either wanted to kill me or recruit me. I'd been open enough that to Osumare, I sounded at least _intrigued_ with Voldy's 'mission'.

I had been so deep in thought for several minutes that I barely noticed everyone standing up. The meeting was over. Everyone apparated away in the courtyard, one by one, until it was just Dumbledore, Mrs Figg, and me. Mrs Figg hobbled away, as she lived here, but I paused in front of the door. Dumbledore turned around to look at me, an eyebrow raised. I could tell my face was thoughtful and slightly confused.

"Do you mind... if I talk to Osumare for a moment?" I said, getting a hunch. Dumbledore nodded, thoughtfully.

"Do you want me to wait for you?" He offered. I shook my head. He inclined his head and stepped out, winking at me before separating away. I shut the door and walked around to the steps leading downward.

I reached Osumare's cell and sat down in my usual chair. She raised an eyebrow.

"A bit out of schedule, aren't you?" she grinned. I shrugged.

"What can I say? I was here. I wanted to pay a visit." She inspected me, already disbelieving. She shook her head slowly, a laugh slowing letting itself out until it was full. And mocking.

"No. You want something," she said. I tilted my head.

"Answers, sure," I nodded, but she shook her head again.

"You want to know what I know about Marcellus Kade," she grinned. I froze. There were several beats of silence. Osumare smiled. "Kade's broken out, hasn't he?" she grinned, inspecting her nails. "You want to know why." I leaned back in my chair, watching her with disdain. She smiled.

"Of course I know about Kade breaking out. Do you think the Dark Lord's been _completely_ out of contact with me? For nine months?" I took a deep breath.

"What do you know? What is his plan?" I growled. She just laughed a tinkling laugh.

"Oh, you know I can't tell you that. Iris, dear, do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"You're stupid enough to join him,"

"Don't be so sure," she was laughing but glaring at the same time. "The Dark Lord knows exactly what he's doing and you're too obtuse to figure it out. You have all the pieces Iris, you just need to figure out how they fit."

That was it. I was done with her riddles and hunting. I stood up to leave, but just as I got to the stairs, she called out.

"Don't think this is just about you, either! He knows how hard it is for you to love. He sympathizes." I paused at the foot of the stairs, shook my head, and continued upward.

I arrived at Hogwarts' outskirts and trudged my way up to the double doors. I checked my watch. I was extremely lucky. A passing period was about to start and I had potions after it. I hurried my pace and just as the bell rang, I entered the front doors. I sped off toward the dungeons. The corridors swam with students as I tried to make my own way through. Someone bumped into me. I turned back to them.

It was Snape. He grinned malevolently at me.

"Be careful," he said, but it didn't sound like a reply to him bumping me. It carried some underlying, sinister meaning. So Snape knew the whole plan. Or, he was at least pretending to. I shrugged it off and continued my pace for the potions room. I sat down next to Regulus and, during class we were silent. I was on edge with Snape's masked threat and Regulus seemed to be having his own moral quandary. I didn't want to pry, but I had an inkling what about.

The period seemed to drag on and on. Regulus and I were fast workers and we finished what he had planned to do for that day, quicker than we had expected. Instead of sitting there, awkwardly, in silence, I took out a book and began to read. regulus was tapping his foot on the floor, his fingers fidgeting. I watching him out the corner of my eye. All of a sudden, as though finally deciding something, he pulled out a piece of parchment and tore a corner off it. He scribbled something down onto it and before I could bother ask what he was doing, the bell rang. I got up and was about to shove the book back into my satchel, but Regulus stood and bumped into me. I dropped the book. Before I could stoop and grab it, Regulus snatched it up.

"Sorry, here," he said, his face red. He rushed off. I blinked, surprised. I shook my head and shoved it into my bag. I ran to catch up with James.

"Ah! You're back," James smiled, wrapping an arm around me. I smiled.

"Yeah. Dumbledore wanted to talk to me for longer than I anticipated," I lied easily. James shook his head, grinning.

"That man. It's good he's concerned about your safety though." I nodded. "What was that about by the way? With Regulus?" James said, nodding toward the disappearing figure in front of us in the crowd. I frowned.

"What do you mean? I asked.

"Well he put something in your book, didn't he?" James asked, confused. I stopped, my eyebrows furrowed, and then realized I was blocking the hall. I grabbed the book, only half hearing James in the background.

"It was when you dropped it, it looked like a piece of parchment..." Indeed. There was a piece of folded up parchment in the pages of my book. I pulled it out and put my book back. I unfolded the note.

Julius Caesar 1.2.14

5.4.11.3.3-4

That was all the note said, written in Regulus' furious scrawl. These were citations for lines in Shakespeare's play _Julius Caesar_. I inspected the first line. I knew this line. Everyone knew this line, it was the most iconic one from the play.

"Beware the ides of March," was a line from the soothsayer. It was a warning. A warning of dangers soon to come. I inspected the second one. I had never seen one so specific as this. I'd need the script. I started sprinting through the halls, ignoring James' calls for me to wait up. I dodged through students and finally reached the library doors. I stepped in and speed-walked to where I knew Shakespeare's plays were shelved. It took me only a minute to find _Julius Caesar_. I pulled it down.

By this time, James had caught up with me. I'd already scribbled 'The ides of March" next to Regulus' first line and I quickly inspected the second, cracking open the script in front of me.

Act five... found it. Scene four... yup. I was there. Line eleven. I reached it and read the full thing. It wasn't a particularly important line. It was said by Lucilius. He was reassuring Antony that no one could kill Brutus, he was too powerful, the gods favoured him too much. I inspect the last three numbers in the citation. It was really specific. The three must mean the sentence. That narrowed it down.

"Shall ever take alive the noble Brutus:" read the text. I frowned at the last two digits. 3-4. That must mean words... I turned, counting the words of the line. My blood ran cold. I picked up my quill and slowly wrote beside the second, "take alive".

This couldn't be good. It sounded like... like kidnapping! Abduction! I frowned. Regulus was obviously warning me. He must know of the plot Voldy had planned. I felt out of the loop; there was something I was missing. It couldn't be good, but it was specific enough for me to grasp.

"Iris? What is this? What does this mean?" James' voice shocked me back into reality, but I continued to ignore him. Who would Voldy want to kidnap? He had Kade. There wasn't anyone else except—

"Oh no," I whispered. I stared at the code for only a moment longer and dodged past James and out the library. James followed, calling after me to slow down, to explain, what was going on? But I didn't stop. Not until I had burst through the double doors of the castle and reached the outskirts of the grounds. James caught my arm before I could apparate. He was out of breath, but his eyes were mutinous. I stilled. I had never seen him like this.

"Iris; what is going on?" he asked. I softened.

"I can't tell you. You need to let me go an allow me to do my job," I said, trying to pry his hand from my arm, but he wouldn't relent.

"What job? Your job at the ministry?" He asked, grabbing my other arm and pulling me to face him. I refused to meet his eyes.

"No, not that," I said shaking my head. When I didn't explain, James laughed, not in amusement, but in frustration.

"Then what? Tell me what's going on," he asked. I shook my head.

"I can't James,"

"Tell me," James pleaded, growing desperate. "You aren't acting like yourself, there's something wrong—"

"Yes! There's bloody something wrong, James! It's that you won't let me go!"

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's going on!" James reiterated. I huffed.

"I don't know what's going on—"

"Bull!"

"James, I really can't tell you—"

"Yes, you can! That's what I'm here for!"

"I can't!"

"Iris, please, tell me—"

"I THINK VOLDY IS GOING TO BREAK OSUMARE OUT OF JAIL!" I screamed. It took me a moment to catch my breath, but James was so surprised by my outburst that his grip loosened. I pulled away.

"You... you know where Osumare is?" James asked, softly. I sighed.

"Yes. Dumbledore asked the ministry to keep it quiet—"

"Oh, Iris. Just tell him the truth why don't you?" came a teasing voice from the shadows. I turned and pulled my wand out. Osumare chuckled and stepped out into the fading light. James was looking more confused and furious by the second, but he too had his wand out.

"Osumare," I growled. She smiled, sweetly.

"Iris!"

"What are you doing out—"

"Out of my prison in the Order of the Phoenix headquarters? Oh, I was broken out," she smiled.

"By who?" I asked, slowly. Osumare hadn't raised a wand against us yet, but she was too at ease to not be suspicious.

"Iris, I thought you were intelligent," she said, and behind her, a hulking figure emerged from the shadows.

"Brooks. So good to see you again," said Marcellus Kade. I blinked and reaffixed my wand point directly at his face. I was silent. The note. I kept going back to the note. "Come now, Iris. Did you really think I was just going into your head to torture you?" He grinned.

"That's what it looked like," I growled, mutinously. He laughed.

"Yes, well. That was the point. While I distracted you with the memories of me murdering your father, I dug around and guess what I found?" He didn't need to answer, I already knew what he was going to say, but he said it anyway. "I found the address of the Order of the Phoenix. And, quite enough trivia to answer a question about the wonderful Iris Brooks. All it took was stunning the witch who lived there and breaking Osumare out. It's all been planned, Iris. From the beginning."

"It can't have been," I said, narrowing my eyes. "Harold gave me that assignment to Azkaban."

"Ah, yes. But you'll never guess to suggested it to him," he grinned. "Go on. Guess." I didn't want to play his stupid games, but my brain immediately began crunching the numbers.

"Adriel," I spat out.

"Exactly. We had him imperioused far earlier than any of you thought. When Harold first interviewed him after the Osumare debacle, we coyly suggested that the public might be interested if you were put in charge of a plan put in place by him. Say, the addition of dementors at Azkaban." His grin was wicked.

"How do Snape and Regulus factor into this?" I asked, knowing it was a terrible idea to entertain them, but curious all the same.

"Snape was mostly to throw you off, though he didn't know that," he scoffed. "Regulus was similar, although he also had a large part. He was supposed to distract you so that we could infiltrate Hogwarts and grab you ourselves. Seems he made a change of plans," he said, nodding to the piece of parchment in my hand.

No. No. I refused. This had to be a real, genuine warning from Regulus. He couldn't have been ploying me. Not like that. No way... but even as I thought it, I was beginning to doubt everything I knew.

"Iris; step back," James whispered behind me. I had almost forgotten he was there. Kade laughed.

"Oh, you poor boy. I'm sorry you had to find out like this. That your girlfriend's been lying to you for as long as you've been dating."

"Look at him; still trying to protect her when he has no idea what's going on," Osumare giggled. James swallowed.

"James; listen to me, run back to the castle," I murmured.

"Not without you," he hissed. Kade laughed.

"Iris, surely you didn't think Regulus' note meant Osumare?" Kade asked, trying to distract me. It worked. I stayed silent, staring at him. "Oh, no, dear. No. We're here for you," and with a speed that couldn't be possible through normal magic, he grabbed me, James, and Osumare. I didn't have time to fight him off before we were apparating away. It was hard to breathe. I needed to focus on my wand. I couldn't lose it; not now. I had to keep my mind straight too. I knew where I was being taken. I needed to get out alive and keep James safe.

We touched down and I threw Kade off of me, knocking Osumare to the ground in the process. I sidestepped and pushed James behind a wall. I didn't even need to speak the words. Before Kade could even react a blast of green shot from my wand. The anger and terror in my chest fuelled the spell. It hit him full-force in the chest.

He fell over dead. Osumare made a sound not unlike a mouse being stepped on. I pointed my wand, stunning her. I pulled James back out from behind the wall. He stared at the dead body of Marcellus Kade.

"James," I said, grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to look at me. "It is imperative that you listen to me, or we aren't going to make it out alive." James blinked, shaking. He was going into shock, I could tell. I slapped him. He yelped, rubbing the spot, but he looked at me as himself. A terrified version of himself, but he was awake. He was paying attention. "James. You-Know-Who is somewhere within these walls. We can't apparate out and I have no idea where we are. I am trained. You are not. Do you understand that?"

"...Yeah," came James' croaked reply. My heartstrings tugged at his look of abject terror. I couldn't show it, but my heart was beating so quickly I had to force myself to breathe or a panic attack would come on. I couldn't panic now. Both our lives revolved around my ability to keep calm.

Nevertheless, as I looked down the shadowy hall, I felt a surge of panic and unadulterated terror so unlike anything I had ever felt, my eyesight blurred for a second.

This was life or death, and I was the only determiner of our fate.


	122. The Worst Promises

James made everything so much worse. Normally, whenever I was around James, he relaxed me. I felt natural and... calm around him. It was not the case here. All I could think of was if he died, it would be my fault. James made this entire situation so. Much. Worse.

He was untrained, he was stepping right behind me, fear coursing through his every vein and muscle even though I could tell he was trying to mask it. If it had been just me, I would've felt scared, but prepared. I had been trained how to keep calm in dangerous situations. In time-consuming fighting, adrenaline only works against you and I'd mastered keeping my fear levels in check.

All of that was out the window now. I could hear James' ragged breathing and his shaking hand as he clutched his wand with white knuckles. I had to breathe. I had to _focus._ We had made our way through the halls. By the look of things, Kade and Osumare had apparated us to the basement, which looked like a makeshift prison. It made every shadow look sinister and dangerous. I ignored these, hoping I wouldn't see a stray skeleton shackled in one of the cells.

I quickly realized it had been built in a vaguely rectangular, spiralling shape. I assumed stairs or something would be in the middle. I had already analyzed my situation quite thoroughly. I knew that Kade hadn't had the chance to touch his dark mark, but that didn't necessarily mean that Voldy didn't know we were here. I'd left Osumare. If she was imperioused, I still couldn't risk dragging her unconscious body through the halls. That'd slow us down, make us more vulnerable.

I could tell James' mind was racing, deducing his own fixes in reality, but he didn't speak. I wasn't sure if he could. I pressed my back against the wall, as I peeked around and corner to make sure it was clear. There was no one there, but I paused. I turned to James and looked at him. He was pale and wretched, but he was looking determined. It almost made you forget about his shaking. I grabbed his hand and he looked at me. My mouth had long turned dry, but I spoke to him in a soft whisper.

"I want you to promise me something," I said, far more calmly than I felt.

"Anything," he said, in his hoarse voice. I steeled myself for what I was about to say.

"If I say 'run', run. If I say 'leave me behind', do as I say. If I tell you to take an out, save yourself, you _must._ Do you understand?" He shook his head vehemently.

"You know I can't do that," James whispered.

"James, don't make this harder than it has to be," I said, my voice scarily monotone.

"I won't leave you. We're in this together,"

"I dragged you into this. You have too much to lose,"

"I won't lose _you,"_ he insisted, adopting a resolve so much contradictory to his entire state of being. We stared at each other, our two, completely stubborn brains pitted against each other.

"James; I don't want to imperious you, but I will—"

"Like hell you will," he growled.

"I've just killed a man, I think I have the resolve," I snarled back. He stared at me looking like he had so much to say, but unable to form the words.

"You won't—"

"I will. I will force you to walk out and leave me behind if I must. I am expendable,"

"Not to me, you aren't,"

"That doesn't matter,"

"You think my love for you doesn't matter?" he spat. This stopped me in my tracks. I didn't lose my facade, but inside, my determination crumbled. I glared at him for another moment, turned, and continued down the hall. The quiet sound of his shoes followed me. I peeked around the other corner and was greeted with an open, square room.

I had been right; stairs led their way upstairs, to a closed door. What lay beyond that door, I didn't know. My grip on my wand tightened, but I stepped forward, silently creeping up the stairs. I held out a hand to stop James from advancing. I crouched down and tried to catch a glimpse from underneath the door, but I couldn't see anything. I motioned for him to stay low and I myself crept a little closer to the door. With my heart beating furiously, and pulse pounding, I reached up and grabbed the doorknob, quietly twisting it.

I pushed it open barely enough to see out. I stayed low. What little I could see, looked like a normal house. The walls were painted a light shade of green. The floor was all tired hardwood. I could see a sliver of a desk. I didn't see any people. I pushed it open a bit more, letting it swing of its own accord, poised to strike should I need to, but it opened all the way, and I saw no one.

I stayed low, but I stepped out, into the fire floor of the house. Immediately, from my right side, something shot out at me. I jumped back, almost knocking James down the stairs. Another spell streaked past and the rapid thud of someone running toward us got louder. Prepared for the worst, I jumped out and began fighting for my life. It was a long hallway, and the person ducked behind a table. I stepped closer and closer.

She jumped out again, facing me, advancing. She quickly gained the upper hand and her malicious grin struck a chord in me. I recognized her, though I had never really met her. This was Bellatrix Black. I dodged and weaved around her aggressive spellcasting, she looked on as though we were dancing and I furiously fought against her serenity. With a decisive flick of my wand, I knocked her to the ground and before she could react, a spell shot out from behind me and she lay, frozen. I looked back and saw James standing in the doorway to the basement, his wand pointed at her, his hand, held out just so, shaking. I walked up to him and grabbed his hand.

He looked at me with a fear I had never seen from him. He'd never done that before.

"They know we're here," I said, quietly. To the left of the basement door, I quickly discovered, was a dead-end. We left Bellatrix lying frozen on the floor. Now that they knew we were here, it was a matter of us getting out as quickly as possible. We raced through the halls, our wands poised. I was looking for a way out, but I couldn't find it. There were no doors or windows. The house seemed to stretch on forever.

Voldy was playing a game with us.

I wondered when he'd get bored enough to come out and play.

I was growing more reckless by the second. I raced around corner after corner, barely taking a split second to check, James raced along behind me. I didn't want to run into a group. We'd never be able to fight them all off. Just as I was about to turn another corner at breakneck speed, James grabbed me. He just pointed to his ear. I listened. Voices.

And plenty of them too. It seemed that my worst fear was coming to fruition. I bit down, listening, trying to see if they were coming nearer. All of a sudden, the voices got a lot clearer. They had turned a corner and were in the hallway ahead of us. There was nothing for it; I had to fight.

I waited for the several voices to get closer and I jumped out, firing a shot right at one, who immediately collapsed, but the others were not so slow. They whipped out their wands, and soon, I was battling five people at once. I recognized none of them, but they were definitely older than me. More skilled. James popped out behind me and began battling too, his spells weaker and less coordinated and unskilled.

I loved James, but Defense Against the Dark Arts can only teach you so much. He had never fought anyone before, really _fought_ anyone. Plus, he was terrified out of his mind. I fought and scrabbled for every inch and advance I could. I knocked out two other before four more joined them. I was going to be overpowered.

"James, go!" I yelled, urging him to take off before things got too much worse.

"There's nowhere _to_ go!" he pointed out, and I hated him for it. Seconds later, his wand was shot from his hand, arcing to me snatched by one of the death eaters ahead of us. That left all seven of them working against me. I fought for our lives. I knocked two more out, before my wand too, was shot from my hand. Almost immediately, ropes shot out from one of their wands and wrapped around me, forcing me to kneel and covering up my mouth. James barely had time to shout "Iris!" before he too was tied up.

We were dragged to another part of the house. The itching in the back of my head grew worse like I had been here before. I probably had. They came to a room with knocker made of silver and shaped like a snake. They knocked. A cruel, all-too-familiar voice echoed from within, calling for us to be let in. The death eater grinned a sinister, crooked-teeth grin, and dumped us, unceremoniously inside, chucking our wands in after us, closing the door with a bang.

The room was completely and utterly silent. Lord Voldemort stood above us, his hands behind his back, his stare, dark and cold. I twisted myself into an upright position, too proud to let him have the full high ground.

"Bastard," I spat as a greeting. His lips curled.

"Iris," the room fell silent as we glared at each other. He turned, facing the fire. This was the same room I had been placed in when I'd been kidnapped. The armchairs were still there. Without so much as a wave of a wand from Voldy, my bounds disappeared. I stood immediately, watching him defiantly, though he didn't bother standing. I stooped down and grabbed mine and James' wand off the floor.

"Untie James," I ordered. He laughed.

"No," he answered, sitting down in the left armchair, just as before. "Tea?" the same tea set had appeared on the little table between the chairs.

"Let James go,"

"Iris, I don't like broken records. Tea or no?" he asked again, as though this a were a polite little get-together.

"Let. James. Go," I growled, pointing my wand at him. Voldy raised an eyebrow.

"What are you going to do? Kill me like you killed Marcellus?" I stared at him.

"I very well could," I threatened.

"But you won't," he said simply. He sipped from his teacup. "Do sit down. Whenever you feel like it."

I stared at him, standing for a minute longer, before giving up and sitting across from him, ignoring James' appalled stare from the floor. I inspected Voldy. He looked... less human than when I had met him before. Before, he'd looked pale and gaunt. Eyes, empty, like something wasn't quite there. Now, he'd lost whatever hint of normal muscle he'd had before. I could see every bone in his face. His pupils had lengthened, looking more snakelike than human. His fingers were longer, bonier. He was different. He took notice of my watchful eye and chuckled in that cold way that made you shiver.

"Can you see the changes? The differences I'm making in myself?" he smirked. "Isn't it _wonderful?_ " his voice taking a sadistic edge. It was the only emotion I had ever heard from him.

"It's terrible," I replied, coolly, but his grin just widened.

"Oh, certainly. That too." He glanced at my still full cup. "Do drink, won't you?"

"I don't know if I will. I don't trust you," I said, defiantly.

"I don't tell the same lie twice," he replied. It felt odd, but I believed him. I took a few sips, his eyes on me, before I set it down again and cleared my throat.

"Untie James," I said, calmly. He sighed.

"If I must," and to my surprise, the ropes binding James disappeared. He sat up, rubbing his wrists. I tossed him his wand and he grabbed it, pointing it at Voldy. To his surprise and my own, I motioned for him to lower it.

"You can't be serious," he said appalled. I didn't miss Voldy's raised eyebrow.

"I'll admit, I'm surprised, Iris. I thought you'd let him," he said, sipping his tea. He didn't wave his wand for another chair. James was unwelcome and I didn't miss it. It was clear; I was not Voldy's equal in this game of chess, I was the queen, weaving in and out, wreaking my damage, protecting my king. But Voldy was the _king_ on his side. It was obvious by Voldy's quick dismissal of James, that he wasn't even a piece.

"I'm not stupid," I countered. Voldy's lip curled.

"Good," he said, simply. Several moments passed of silence.

"What is it you want this time?" I asked.

"I want to kill you properly this time," he answered. I nodded.

"Better be more thorough this time around, hm?" I nodded. He smiled.

"You know me too well,"

"You assume I _want_ to," I replied. Voldy's glare turned narrow, but my poise remained dignified. James remained on the outskirts of the conversation, not picking up the intricacies we were tossing back and forth. He stood by the side of my chair, as though guarding me, though the protection felt superficial.

"Why _do_ you want to kill me?" I asked. "I think I've made more enemies inside the order than anything else."

"I think you have more enemies from my side," Voldy countered.

"You assume you weren't my enemy before," I replied. He nodded at that, smiling.

"I want to kill you because Dumbledore wants you alive,"

"Well, Dumbledore _does_ like keeping the people who work for him alive. It makes for a better work ethic than 'I'm going to blackmail me until you worship me'. Makes people more loyal, I think," I said, nodding. Voldy just smiled.

"Perhaps from an outside perspective," he allowed.

"Maybe," I conceded. "Though I would find that hard to believe."

"Don't despise what you don't understand," he sneered.

"Alright. That leaves me free to despise everything else about you," I smiled. He leered back at me, his hospitality seemingly spent. James tensed, feeling the difference in tone. I didn't move, keeping my calm. Voldy stood, his wand pointing lazily at my face. James pointed his at Voldy. I stirred my tea.

"Now, now. Our conversation was just getting interesting," I admonished. Voldy sneered.

"I'm going to kill you. This time, I'm making sure of it,"

"Oh, you are? That's good..." I murmured, stirring my tea. "Though, confidence is a regrettable trait. I should know; I had to deal with his arrogant arse for six years." I said, motioning at James and standing. The point of Voldy's wand adjusted to the centre of his forehead. I smiled. "Here's the thing; you don't know had to adapt,"

"I resent that, Iris," Voldy said, the corner of his lip, curling.

"Yeah, don't care," I said, simply, splashing my tea in his face. He screeched in pain. For the last thirty seconds, I'd been magically heating it until it was far too dangerous to drink, and just hot enough to burn. I grabbed James' hand and tried to apparate away. I spun on my heel and went nowhere. I swore and sprinted out of the room, dragging James behind me.

The time was gone for careful creeping; we had to get out. _Now._

We sprinted through the halls. I busted down door with my shoulder and spotted the only window I'd seen in this damn place. I blasted it open, shattering the glass with a spell.

"Jump," I ordered James and he didn't question it. The yelling and thundering was growing closer. James dropped out the window and I jumped headfirst after him, just as several people broke down the door again. I ignored my bruises and what felt like a sprained wrist and grabbed James' hand, sprinting away. I didn't know where we were, but I ran into the streets, as far as I though the boundary went.

I turned on my heel and we were wicked away. We landed back on the outskirts of Hogwarts. I landed heavily on my pained wrist, jerking it weirdly. I felt and snap and grimaced, but stood and dragged James toward the front steps of Hogwarts. As we ran, I cast a patronus. I spoke to it, panting.

"I've just gotten back. I was kidnapped again. Snape and Regulus were a ruse. James was kidnapped with me. You'll find me in the hospital wing," I panted and the patronus was off, splitting into four. One going to Dumbledore, one to Moody, one to Harold, and one to McGonagall.

I collapsed before even getting to the front doors, James knelt beside me.

"Merlin!" I swore as I tried to drag myself up, but James kept pushing me down. "James, let me up," I murmured.

"Absolutely not," he said, his face still white. "You look half dead."

"So do you, you arrogant toerag," I panted, grimacing from the pain.

"Resorting to fifth-year insults, are we? I thought you were better than that," he grinned, weakly.

"Thought I was too," I said, breathing heavily. I'd given up trying to sit up. James was right, I was too weak to move. My nerves felt all jittery. I got out my wand and cast another patronus. "Nevermind, you'll find me half-passed out on the front grounds," and the four split off again. This little bit of extenuating effort was enough to make my head swim, and though it's not in most cases, passing out was the best thing that had happened to me all day.

By the time I'd woken up, my wrist was healed, and I'd been given a potion for nerves and tiredness. McGonagall was sitting beside me, watching over my prone figure. James sat in the bed beside me, talking forcefully to a rather grave-looking Dumbledore. His tone was very insistent.

"I'm joining the Order of the Phoenix,"


	123. Offset

"Like hell you are!" I spat, sitting up, ignoring McGonagall's hand, trying to push me back down against the bed. She succeeded, only because of my weakened state.

"Mr Potter; you must understand, there were extenuating circumstances with Miss Brooks here—"

"Then put me under the same extenuating circumstances. I'm seventeen. I'm legally an adult. I'm _joining_." James insisted.

"James. You're making a terrible mistake," I murmured. He whipped around, his eyes bloodshot. He fixed me with a look he never had before. It made me want to... cower.

"I am not. I'm doing what I need to,"

"James; I know what you feel, and I've regretted my decision ever since. Don't make the same mistake I did." We stared at each other, but James' tore his eyes away, reverting back to Dumbledore. I felt a sting in my heart.

"I'm joining," he said, again. Dumbledore nodded gravely.

"I knew you would when you found out. There will be due process of course, the order has to vote but—"

"Are you kidding me?" I asked. I intended it to sound forceful and angry, but it came out a croak. James glanced at me, looking faintly miserable but tainted with determination and a fierce anger I hadn't seen in him before. He pleaded with me with his eyes. The moment was interrupted as Madame Pomfrey bustled up, uncorking a bottle of some potion that would probably help me, and stuck a spoon of it down my throat. I sputtered.

James, of course, had gone back to murmuring with Dumbledore. I diverted my eyes, staring at the ceiling. Professor McGonagall grabbed my hand and squeezed. I closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry.

"James, listen to me," I begged. We were standing in a deserted classroom. Golden sun trailed down and lit upon the deserted desks. James stood before me, leaning against a desk, looking very unhappy. "I know you want this; I knew you would, but it's not what you think," I spoke quietly, fixating on him. James only looked at the floor. "I joined for the same reasons you are; to protect people, to prevent a war, to... to destroy the very ideas Voldy is putting out there, into the world. I get it. But all I have been used for is to spy on my peers and as a test subject. I have been left out in the open, kidnapped twice, poisoned, attacked, you name it. It was all me, _by myself_. I lived through the memories of my father's murderer and _taunted_ with them." I was weeping now. Tears trailing down my cheeks and it took all my willpower to keep my voice from quavering. James still peered down at his feet. "I know you think you want this, but you don't. Behind the scenes it's just—" I gestured, vaguely, unable to finish my sentence. "It's one of the worst things I've had to live with," I whispered. I saw James shake his head, still looking down at his feet.

"LOOK AT ME!" I screamed. He slowly raised his head, his bloodshot eyes meeting mine. "I have gone through hell and back more times than I can count! Moody and Dumbledore trained me as a _weapon!_ They've lied to me more times than I can count! hey're great people, James, but they have no idea what they're doing! I've killed a man, James! I— I can't... You can't do this to me!"

James' eyes sharply met mine.

"You don't get to talk about _lying,"_ he whispered. I broke. Fire erupted from my very chest.

" _THEY_ MADE ME LIE! DON'T YOU GET THAT?" I yelled. It echoed around the room. Silence fell between us, two pairs of eyes, watching the other, warily.

"You knew I wanted to join," James pointed out, quietly. I nodded.

"I know. I know, but—"

"But what?" he asked, his murmur was so cold. "What, Iris?" I bit my lip, glaring at him, unable to finish the words. He waited for me to finish, but I couldn't. And he knew it. "I _do_ want this. No matter what you say, how you describe it, I want this. I want this _so_ bad. It's the only thing I've felt so completely sure of my entire life." I didn't know why, but it felt like James had stabbed me. "I need to do this. I _need_ to." The tears still trailed down my cheeks. I felt a sob building up in my chest, I hugged my arms tight to my chest. I shook my head slowly, then more violently. There was no stopping the emotions building up in my chest. As the first sob broke, I collapsed to my knees on the floor. James reacted quickly, kneeling in front of me, putting a hand to my cheek.

It took me a few moments for me to regain the ability to speak.

"I don't want you to die like my dad," I whispered so quietly, I wasn't sure if he had heard it. He wrapped his arms around me, putting a chin on my head as I cried into his chest.

"I won't," he whispered.

"That's not something you can promise," I said, quietly. "It's through no fault of your own, but you can't control that. My dad made the same promise." It sounded like I was going to continue that sentence, but there was nothing else to say. James held me tighter.

"Well, it's the only thing I can offer," he said, quietly. I nodded.

"I know. And I knew this would happen," I said, sitting up and wiping my tears with my sleeve. "When you told me, that night in the Come and Go room, I knew you were determined. It's the only thing I can imagine you doing, really." I laughed, sadly, my breath catching in my throat. "I just didn't want it to happen so soon."

"I'm sorry," he said. I heard the faintest bit of chocked breath in his words. I smiled.

"You don't need to apologize,"

"Yeah," he said, smiling sadly. "But I want to."

"All in favour of Mr James Potter joining our ranks, raise your hand," Dumbledore said. James was in the order. I squeezed his hand as he sat down and he smiled at me. "Congratulations James, welcome to the Order of the Phoenix," Dumbledore smiled.

"You didn't tell me Lily was in the order," James whispered to me as we mingled.

"She was the only one I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the secret from," I whispered back. I was introducing him to people. Alice and Frank stood in the corner, chatting quietly between themselves and I didn't feel the need to interrupt, but I pointed them out to James. "That's Alice and Frank. They helped me teach Lily."

"Am I going to be taught by you then?" James quirked an eyebrow, a mischievous grin appearing on his face.

"Probably," I grinned.

"Should I be worried?" he added, teasingly.

"Probably,"

"Can you believe we'll be graduating in two weeks?" I mentioned to the others. We were sitting on the lawn by our favourite tree on the Hogwarts grounds. Everyone froze a bit.

"Wow. That hadn't even occurred to me," Sirius said, blinking.

"Yeah, like most things," Remus teased. Sirius elbowed him and they both laughed. I eyed them. I'd sorta forgotten about my Wolfstar plan, what with everything that had been going on, but they seemed to have been faring well without my meddling.

"What are your plans for after school?" Peter asked. "Iris, are you still trying for minister?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "But that won't happen for another two years." Everyone was contemplative a bit, thinking about Peter's question.

"I was thinking of travelling," Remus mentioned.

"Where to?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, just... everywhere," Remus grinned and we all chuckled a bit.

"I might get a ministry job, truth be told," Sirius said, leaning back, his hands behind his head. James raised an eyebrow.

"You? Sirius Black? Working a _desk job?_ " James asked, incredulously.

"Oh, not a _real_ desk job," Sirius said, waving his hand. "I just thought it'd be cool to work as an Undesirable or something, y'know. Something _mysterious_." He waggled his fingers spooky-like. We chuckled again. "Or maybe an auror," he shrugged.

"I've been eyeing a cottage in Godric's Hollow," James said, offhandedly, but I caught his glance at me.

"You're moving out? Already?" Remus asked, interested.

"You're leaving a house where your parents are paying for everything and feeding you great food to go live on your _own_?" Sirius asked, laughing.

"Well, I mean... I can't live with them _forever_ ," James shrugged nonchalantly. My heart had long caught up to my brain and I felt a faint blush rise to my cheeks. James squeezed my hand as though silently teasing me.

"Yeah, but... _wow_ ," Sirius said, shaking his head, grinning. "A _house_."

"I know, I know. But it just felt _right_ ," he grinned. He glanced back at me and I almost kicked him for being so obvious, but the others didn't seem to notice. I was secretly elated, trying very hard to keep a grin from spreading across my face. Merlin, I loved him.

Exams were over. I barely cared, so many things had been happening that exams were at the very back of my mind. I knew I'd done well, I always had. I lay outside on the Hogwarts grounds beneath my favourite tree, reading. I heard the tell-tale sound of footsteps and looked up to see James. He smiled and laid down next to me. I shifted and laid my head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around me.

One week until graduation. It was almost unreal. A mere seven days and I'd leave Hogwarts forever. It was an earth-shattering revelation, but at least I had a few anchors.

I would go home and stay there. There was nothing to it. James hadn't brought up the subject since that night in the Come and Go room. I was glad, I didn't want to talk about it. Instead, I read, and James was always near. Just his presence soothed me.

My eyes skimmed the page as I attempted to read, but I wasn't really. I re-read the same paragraph several times before James spoke.

"What _are_ your plans for after graduation?" He asked. I laid the book down on my chest.

"I'll go home and care for my mother. I'll work at the ministry, trying to get known, go to more parties, probably borrowing your mother's dresses for those. I'll... live," I said, simply. I felt James shift.

"You know..." he trailed off. "You could come live with me."

"I know," I said. "But I can't. Not really."

"I could help you," James said, offhandedly, but there was a strain in his voice. "I have the money. I could help you and your mum."

"I couldn't accept that," I said, shaking my head, but James grabbed my hand.

"Please let me. Please let me help you," he almost begged. I shook my head again.

"I can't let you. I really appreciate it James, but... I can't put her in a home. I can't put her in St. Mungo's."

"Why not?" James asked, desperately. "You can't let her rule your life."

"I know," I said. "I know. I just couldn't live with myself if I did. I can't let go of how my brian envisions her."

"How does your brain envision her?"

"How she was eleven years ago. When I was six. Before my dad died," I sighed. "I know it's hard to believe, but I have separated the images so easily that... that it feels like that's who she is. I can't do that to her. It's not what eleven-years-ago mum would've wanted. I know my mother, she would've hated even the thought."

"... That's not who she is anymore," James murmured, as though I didn't know that.

"Yeah," I sighed. "I know."


	124. Nostalgic

We were done. It was all done. The Marauders had pulled off one final prank, the best ever. Which, was a feat since we had lost the map to Filch several months before, a fact we were all to loathe to come to terms with. The prank had involved so many working parts.

We'd made personalized pranks for every professor in the building. We'd managed to dye Dumbledore's hair and beard a fantastic shade of purple. He hadn't seemed to mind, donning bright yellow robes to compliment them. We'd transfigured professor McGonagall's spectacles to a ludicrous size, much like the kind you would see clowns wearing at a fair. Given that it was transfigured, McGonagall had the knowledge to fix them, but she hadn't.

Professor Flitwick's was fun. We put a charm on him so that he changed size according to his emotions. If he got angry, he would grow. Got embarrassed? He would shrink. So on and so forth with multiple emotions. Currently, he was switching between proud (large) and giddy (small). It was very fun to see.

We'd given professor Slughorn a potion that made everything taste like crystallised pineapple. He'd actually taken us aside and asked us how we'd done it. For madame Hooch, we'd charmed her so that she was floating about three inches off the ground. She could still walk of course, but she really seemed to enjoy it. So on and so forth through every single professor at Hogwarts.

For the regular Hogwarts students, we'd planned the biggest, most spectacular prank _ever._ It had taken months of planning, practising, and (funnily enough) studying. We had turned Hogwarts inside-out.

By that, I mean we'd brought outside, inside. Trees grew through the hallways, grass grew between flagstones, and all number of animals roamed the halls. The true majesty lay in the Great Hall. With the ceiling as it was, it truly looked as though you were stepping into some great ruins, overrun by nature. It was one of the most magical things I'd ever witnessed.

It being the second-to-last day at Hogwart, we had classes, but the teachers weren't giving any real assignments, Which would've been difficult anyways, what with trees growing in between desks, flowers sprouting out of their tables, and birds flitting about.

The dungeon hallways had turned into a river so that students had to get around by little boats. I was glad I had potions class that day, just to do that. Students were having fun in Care of Magical Creatures class. Professor Kettleburn had turned the situation into one of the most enjoyable classes the kids had ever had. He had a list of animals that lived naturally in the forests around Hogwarts and students had to run around the school and find as many as possible for prizes.

Halfway through the day, moss and vines had overtaken the walls and students had started a school-wide, heavily intense version of hide-and-seek. There was one Seeker per house. Points were being added up for every student the Seekers found from opposing houses, and points for students who stayed hidden the longest per house. It was to be called the Hide-and-Seek Cup and there was a rumour going around the winner of said cup would earn fifty points for the actual House Cup from Dumbledore himself.

We had truly outdone ourselves. I had never seen the students and staff so happy. (Except perhaps Filch, he seemed almost grouchier than usual until he found that Mrs Norris was having the time of her life).

It lasted until that night. We wanted the seventh years to be able to say their true goodbyes to the castle. Us Marauders? We wandered the halls the entire night. We visited every single tunnel, passage, room, everything we could. We ate a second dinner in the kitchens, talking with the house-elves, saying our goodbyes. When I hugged Folly, she had tears in her eyes.

We snuck up to the astronomy tower and yelled into the night. We watched the birds and things soar above the Forbidden Forest. We saw the dark shadow of the giant squid swimming about in the Black Lake. We visited all our favourite paintings, bid them goodbye. More than a few openly cried.

We ended the night by climbing in the secret passage behind the mirror on the fourth floor. We talked well after four in the morning. We talked about the future. About the next day where we'd feast for the last time, party it up all night in the Hufflepuff common room, and leave the next day. We all cried a bit, though most of us were loathe to admit it.

We lamented our loss of the Marauder's Map but grinned at the thought of someone finding it in the future. We relived memories we'd built into this castle. The pranks, the most memorable events, the friends we'd made. Our winning of the Quidditch Cup this year had been fantastic and very close with the Ravenclaws, but we'd pulled it off. We all knew Hufflepuff had won the House Cup this year, but we didn't mind. We'd won three of the seven years we'd been at Hogwarts, a satisfying accomplishment in our minds.

One by one the members of the Marauders fell asleep. I lay awake for just a bit longer.

"Can't sleep?" James murmured to my right. I rolled over to look at him. He smiled sleepily, wrapping an arm around me.

"It's not that I can't," I smiled. "I don't want to."

He smiled and pecked me on the lips.

"Do you want to walk around a bit more?" He asked. I nodded. Quietly, we snuck away, out into the castle once again. James grabbed my hand and swung it. We walked in silence, traipsing through the halls. We stopped just in front of the double doors leading outside. James gestured out with a smirk and we descended the steps, outside. The stars shone so brightly. We glanced at each other at the same time, and together we sprinted toward the tree, laughing and shoving at each other. I beat him and I leaned against the tree, gasping for breath.

Not a second later he joined me. Leaning just in front of me. We breathed for another moment or so.

"This feels like old times," James said, grinning.

"Like old times?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah. Like, before we were dating. When you'd always say no and refute my flirting and terrible pickup lines. When you'd sass me and tease me relentlessly," he grinned. "This tree is where it happened most often."

"I suppose you're right," I smiled. "I could again if you're feeling nostalgic."

"Oh, I dunno if I want that. I think I prefer this much more," and with those words, he stepped a bit closer, pressing me against the tree, wrapping his arms around my waist. I lifted my arms to his shoulders and we kissed.

There are only so many words to describe a kiss and none of them fully describe the experience. I don't believe there will ever be a word that can. It was a very nice kiss, we'll leave it at that. We stood out there for another hour or so. Talking, kissing, looking up at the stars.

James was right, it did feel very nostalgic. This was the last night we had to do this. The last night at Hogwarts that we had to be together to talk and sit and kiss like this. Tomorrow would be all partying, and that would be it. My school days would be forever over. Who knew what would happen after that?

I sure didn't. And though I had thought I'd feel scared at the prospect, I almost certainly didn't. It felt... _liberating._

We sat in the night until James fell asleep on my shoulder. I woke him up and we headed back to the mirror on the fourth floor, hand in hand.


End file.
